Posted by: Bekah | February 17, 2010

What if I drunk emailed Rob?

This dude wrote me a drunk email. To repay him I got drunk with him

Dear Rob,

We received this fan letter for you, and I was inspired:

i know you’ll never read this, you probably have dozrns of people reading mail for you but i want to vent anyway.I guess you can call me a twi-mom. I actually saw the movie 1st then read all 4 books 3x. I saw you on screen and had to learn as much as i could about you it was like you fell out of the sky. i started googling you and watching interviews on utube, the thing about you back then was that you were shy and you didn’t know how striking and hot you were or is that just a front. i love all your music and movie’s i’ve seen haunted airman twilight and little ashes i was also one of the women who was in nyc watching you film remember me but i let you have your space lol. i was there 3x at 6am you could have given me your autograp oh well one of these days i’ll get your autograph you’ll see much success to you rob i love everything i’ve seen so far you make it and i’ll come love Missy. I saw other movie’s but i’m so buzzed i can’t remember.

Inspired to discuss…. what if I drunk emailed you? Would I add an apostrophe to the word “movie’s” even though I’m pretty sure that’s NEVER grammatically correct? Would I get pissed that you never responded to the e-mails I wrote when I wasn’t drinking? Would I ask questions and forget to use a question mark? I write crazy times things to you (example here and here) when I’m SOBER- what in the world would I write if I were drinking? (In my defense, I have actually blogged while tipsy before. And I’ve handled it well. A few spelling errors here or there. The sentences looked more like texts: (Do u guys lik rob y or n?) but overall, no major blunders… well, except for that confession of my Mike Welch/Justin Chon fantasy over on LTT, but I digress)

I asked Moon what she thought she might write or confess. She got confused (she was probably drinking) but gave an answer:

UC: any thoughts? what would you say to Rob if you were drunk and no holds barred
Moon
: i love you man. and id probably hug him A LOT- that is my drunk style. or id ask him what the f*ck was up with him and kristen
UC
: haha
Moon
: and then id hug him again and make him dance with me
UC
: Kay, that’s nice, but what if you EMAILED him though
Moon
: thats my drunk style

Drunk Ron

UC: hugging is not possible via email so what’s the email version of Drunk Moon hugs
Moon
: i’d tell him i want to hug him or confess that i was hugging my computer or say DUDE REMEMBER THAT TIME… i loved when you were XXX…whatever
UC
: “deer Rob, I’m huging my computr so hard rite now. cus I’m riting you”
Moon
: and i’d tell him I just listened to Never Think like 55 times on repeat which is a feat since I listen to it on vinyl with a candle burning
UC
: hahahah
Moon
: cause ya know that’s how you see your future and I’m pretty sure if i played Never Think backward it would say MOON, I love you. In fact I’m going to try it now- I hate you rob, you ruined my record player

Would I say things I swore I’d never tell you (like about this site?) Would I call you “Ron” instead of Rob every time I wrote your name (as I often do, with or without drinks)? Would I try to form opinions about your career and your life and sound educated but end up sounded, well… like Kristin, 5 cran and vodkas in, talking about your Details shoot?

Rob- the white sport coat says don johnson meets love boat to me. Yes, Don Johnson on the Love Boat. and I’m not a fan. Why are you always laying down. Nevermind. Its because women all over the world can then lay on the magazine pages and its exactly like having sex with you, right? The whole weird diseases thing. creepy. but I think thats your ploy to put people off. Not working dude. try something else, like profess your love for 25-35 year old stay at home moms in the midwest…wait…

(I hope I sound like Kristin.. that’s some funny shizz right there) Well, I think there’s only one thing to do to know for sure….. I’m gonna get drunk. And write you an email. And then share it for everyone to enjoy! Look for that soon, Ron….

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Allright, what do you think? You’re drinking- you’re not holding back. You’re sending an email to letterstotwilight@gmail.com stupidly thinking that’s Rob’s email address.  What do you say? Maybe you don’t drink, but you’re uber sleepy. Or uber “upped” and NOT holding back. Spill it in the comments!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter

Advertisements

Responses

  1. “Its because women all over the world can then lay on the magazine pages and its exactly like having sex with you, right?”

    I sputtered out orange juice onto my computer at this one.
    Pretty sure orange juice and laptops don’t mix.

    • Whoa, first? That NEVER happens! Where is everyone?

      • I know! Everyone’s tired from yesterday, I guess!

        • Yeah, totally. It was an epic post yesterday. I’m glad that Rob doesn’t do interviews like that all the time…It would wear me out, haha.

          Anyway, drunk emailing. I’d rather drunk text him. Because that would mean I’d already have his number, making the opportunities that much bigger…

          Pattipatz (cause I’d totally call him that when drunk, sorry)

          Wanna make out 9.5 weeks style? Ur fridge or mine?

          (That’s what drunk me said)

          • “Pattipatz”…so sweet…I love that! Can I “borrow” it? lol

          • Pattipatz- ha! maybe we should have a list of all the nicknames we would call him! (more embarrassment!).

          • RG, feel free to borrow it anytime.

            Yeah, let’s make a name of nicknames.

            So my regular ones are Pattipatz and sometimes RPatty(which has a lovely Irish ring to it)…Any others?

          • I like to call him bobby or pattzy, but when i’m drunk it’s sometimes change to boobie.

          • Rob likes boobies, uhm, I mean boobie ofcourse…
            😆

          • That’s a cute nickname. I have tons of nicknames for Rob but I’m to ashamed to post them here.

            My husband have nicknames for Rob too, not nice ones! lol

          • bobby,pattzy,boobie..
            i guess i’m gonna go with hubby then

        • Stayed away yesterday because I knew all the hoopla might push me over the edge of sanity. Teri Schwartz with Mtv did a really good commentary about the Details interview. According to Teri, Rob will be “a tiny bit naked” in future roles. For those of us who do not entirely *get* English humor, this article was great. And as for Rob being willing to completely “give up total control” and be a tiny bit naked, wasn’t he already a tiny bit naked in Little Ashes, I am all for it!! I would like to see some full on frontal nekkidness! UC and Moon need to right a movie script with lots of nekkid scenes. MP can personally deliver the script to him in London w/o any embarrassment and the ladies of LTR can be the actresses and staff. Low budget film because I am sure all of us would do this gratis just to be in his space, pants, whatever he is willing to provide.

  2. OOOOOooo- drunk emailing to Rob! The potential for lethal first- and second-hand embarrassment is really great.

    I’d probably terrify him by repeating, verbatim, all the hilarious and perplexing interview word vomit and then quizzing him about the exact physiological meaning of ‘I’m a tool, a big, hard tool’.

    I might then degenerate into drunk begging him to…. do anything with me. First, probably involving something with his fingers, and for Robgirl- asking to see some hip action.

    See- lethal embarrassment. But I’d die happy.

    • drsaka…”drunk” RG here…lol
      I may or may not have consider some serious lettertoRobhips!!!
      🙂

    • Hip worship!

  3. I’m not sure what I’d say in an email. In real life a drunk me would say “I think you are really fit,” which is exactly what I said to this guy once and he promptly replied with “yeah, it’s been said.”

    That guy was a douche.

    • nice- douche-like behavior! I’m sure that Rob would never say something like that, he’d make a joke!

    • oooooo, that’s not nice….bad man.

      Well that just proves what I’ve always thought about the really good looking ones……they know it and they’re arseholes.
      (bit of a generalisation, I know, but I’m feeling like that about men today!)

    • “I think you are really fit,
      But my gosh, don’t you just know it!”

      that song rules.

  4. I secretly liked the tuck.

    • 🙂 pretty tuck

    • I’m aroused seeing him do push ups in How To Be.
      That’s normal

  5. I just came across this on a gossip blog. They advertise it like this: “For all the twilight crazed lonely women in the world, Edward Cullen is finally here to be with you and only you. Sleep with him, cuddle with him, use him as a neck rest, the Edward Manllow is there to be your man and pillow all in one”

    Does anyone else find this super creepy?

    • Saw that yesterday, VERY disturbing. Like that is any kind of substitute…
      Uhm yeah…

    • I want one, where can I get it?

      HAHA, just kidding. I’m not that desperate (yet).

  6. I’m always amazed at the “twi-moms” who can manage to stalk a movie set at 6:00 am (3 times, no less). What the hell are they doing with their kids?
    If I told my husband he had to get the kids ready for school because I was going downtown to see Rob, I think he’d have me committed or divorce me or both!

    • I’m old enough to have a 15 year old (which is why I reuse to stare at Taylor even now that he is legal) so the kid can fend for himself when Mom is on a Twilight mission,LOL. a drunk email to Rob is a scary thought. I’d hope if I met him,I’d maintain my composure…but in a drunk email I’d probably confess to all the bad things (in a very good way) that I’d like to do to him.
      Who knows, maybe he”d go for it,LOL. A girl can dream. BTW, I’m happily married….hubby rolls eyes….but Rob is my freebie…if the one in a billion chance came through,,,I’d havea real hard (hmmm) time turning it down!

      • “Rob is my freebie.”

        Those are words to live by.

        Depending on how drunk I was, I might end up asking Rob to just end the debate and tell us – cut or uncut!

  7. Deer Rob I kno how 2 smile pls pick me love Bella

    • short, sweet and to the point

    • Nice one, Bella.

  8. Rob is three sheets into the wind. Will a drunk eamil get you a DWRM arrest. Drunk while writing and email get you three years in the pokey. I don’t know. or maybe three years of email school. http://defutebol.net

    • hilarious as always

  9. OMG, did I write that email?
    Wait, no, I never saw little ashes (a screen cap of the tuck was enough to dissuade me) nor the haunted airman.
    So if I did email him, I’m sure it would be totally incoherent because I would have to be so loaded that I wouldn’t remember doing it the next day. I’m also sure it would include some little gem about wanting to lick my computer after seeing the Details video.

  10. UC: “deer Rob, I’m huging my computr so hard rite now. cus I’m riting you”

    I read that completely different the first time…

    I my head it did sound like this:

    Because I’m riding you…

    Very Freudian on my part.

    (And now I need a drink, and it’s only 3 pm here…)

    • and Cath’s off to the gutter (come visit, we’re all there anyway).

      • Let’s blame Rob. 😉

    • 3pm??? Surely your 3hrs late for your first g&t by any standard.

  11. In my head ofcourse…haha

  12. I have no idea what I would write if I email him drunk… probably some XXX confession…

    What I would love to read is his answer… his DRUNK anwser… you know… like, Im drunk, im gonna pick this post on LTR and answer to the girls (cause we know he reads LTR daily)

  13. I love Ron.

    • Not sure about Ron- sounds like a salesman

      • He could sell me anything.

      • Ron reminds me too much of Harry Potter…haha…

    • LOL. Ron reminds me of my next door neighbor! I’ll stick to Rob.

  14. I think I unknowingly answered the drunk email question yesterday… Actually this would probably work better as a text:

    Dear Rob,
    Imma little tipsy, you probably are too. You need any help walking to the bathroom? I’d help you get there. .. ‘cuz I might wanna watch. Ya know, I could like help with your zipper and stuff…
    Tupelo

    • Then I probably say:

      “I wanna do you on the bathroom floor….”

      LOL. Folks in RL would never believe I’m sayin’ stuff like this. I’m so sweet an innocent. (yeah, right).

      • “I’m so sweet an innocent.”
        yeah you are
        i wonder how many women would send that kind of drunk mail to him
        it seems like a commn mail for everyone.
        i’ve never ever got drunk and i’ms ure being uber sleepy is nothing like that
        so if i write that kind of mail sobber ..this make me what?

        • Che~
          Never got drunk? Don’t know what you’re missin’! Drunk dialing (and probably emailing) is awesome!

          And if you wrote my drunk email when you were sober, I’d say you were still TOTES NORMAL!!!

          • yes we all are totes normal ..sobber or drunk… aren’t we?
            i really wonder how is the feeling getting drunk and loosin’ your control.
            maybe i can get an internship from Rob.

      • LOL, ok hon you got me on the sweet and innocent!

        • Yeah SB, you and I are just a coupla sweet little innocent Southern girls….

          But sweet or not, I’d still send Rob that email………

          • You go girl!

          • LOL.

  15. sober RG writes all the time..
    ” I love you Rob!” and that sounds not sober at all…
    the end!

    🙂

    • RG- you missed the Rob hips reference above- I was going to be very selfless for you!

      • I was serious dazzled by the “drunk-Ron-flipped-pic, sorry!” I feel all dizzy looking at it too long! Try!<3

  16. I didn’t realize that I was supposed to be sober, when I write emails to LTT/LTR???

    Is that a rule or something??

    If I met Rob drunk (as in, I’m drunk, not necessarily he’s drunk), I would probably tell him, “That girl you’re with, is not good enough for you!!”

  17. Dear Rob,
    I think weird diseases are cool, too! Let’s get some disco fries and look at a few websites I know. You got a strong stomach, right?

    Do me.

    Love, me

    • In any email I could send to Rob (drunk or sober), the salutation would be “Do me”.

      • “Do me”
        Yours sincerly (anytime anywhere anything)
        Me

    • hey, that’s my angle!!!! 🙂

      • JodieO- my angle meaning the invitation to Rob to discuss odd diseases! I think that the invitation to him too “do me’ is open for any LTR lady to make!!!!!

  18. I am loud, annoying and terribly giggly and horny when drunk.

    So I would probably ask him to Ef me in a hundred different languages I don’t speak and find myself totally hilarious.

    I will obviously pretend someone hacked my email the next day. That someone being BellaNaA.

    • Sometimes I feel like I’m the only calm, quiet drunk. I would, however, probably include a picture of my boobs in the email. You know, as an attachment. I’ve been drunkenly (and soberly) told that I have great boobs. Wouldn’t want to deny him the opportunity to judge for himself, now, would I?

  19. I may or may not have written Rob a letter and went giving it to the concierge at his hotel when he was in Paris. I may or may not have told the guy that it was a professional envelope Rob and his people were waiting for and pressured him to do it very quickly since they were living. I may or may not have acted like a bitch to make it seem more real since I called the hotel earlier and they told me Rob wasn’t staying at that hotel. Yeah, right. I may or may not had to give another phone call to someone else hoping the person wouldn’t recognise my voice since he knew me in person, just to find out Rob’s schedule and not arrive at his hotel, like a flower, after he had already left. I may or may not have been that convincing and bitchy with the hotel clerk that he proposed to go look for Nick so I can hand him the envelope personally. I may or may not have completely panicked (especially since I saw Krsiten’s manager somewhere not very far and imagined Nick could pop anytime) and said that I just saw somebody and thought of a better solution. Imagine the huge first hand embarrassment if I found myself in front of Nick. So I don’t know how I managed to go away like a lady without being busted, but in the end I was happy I never gave them that letter. I’m still like a virgin (in terms of not crazy image in the eyes of HHH, nobody saw me).
    In the letter I was just making fun of him and me (separately) but that’s not important.
    So is that enough huuuge first hand embarrassment?

    • WOW!
      The Rob-world was against you…or with you..I don’t know
      and during all that “action” …you were drunk/tipsy/sober?

      • and I’m sure Rob would have LOVED this letter!!!<3

        • minuit…it is just me or your comments are getting hugher and longer since the Japan-Rob-pic? 🙂

          • Its important to bring up the Japan-Rob-pic as much as possible. At least once aday- do it.

          • LOL @ Robgirl and Drsaka – Big In Japan is now a daily staple.

          • haha no, it’s the chemistry between the 16yo in me and the proximity of HHH. almost scientific. although i fully agree with draska, the rob in japan “event” is to be remembered on a daily basis.

      • Never been more sober. I wrote the letter in the evening at the office. I had the time back in the days, it was before I developped another addiction, LTR.

        • Rob-addiction, LtR-addiction and some others…I think I should search some rich man quite soon, b/c working is becoming impossible!!!
          Hello Rob! 🙂

    • hahahahahahahahahahahha!!!!!

      You are one class act girl…hats off to you.

      Wish you’d given the letter to him.
      hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.

      I have just been asked why I am laughing like a drain! What can I say…
      hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…………. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

      Off for a cig……..can’t stop laughing…………..need to calm down. That story just made me sooooooo happy. You have no idea how much I hope that story is true…….tra,la, la, la, lar, you’ve made a really fed up girl very happy right now.

      • That story IS true!!!
        See what I was speaking about when I mentioned to you stalking when you have the chance to be in the same city as HHH? And see why i was pissed off they decided not to film in Paris?

    • OMG! Min, that’s awesome. I may or may not have the guts to do something like that.

      • do it!!! do it!!! where are you living in Am?

        • I’m in Canada, hunny.

          • well, close enough seen from here. 🙂 not really. Vancouver? i’m fangirling over the ski at the moment like you can’t imagine. so go to the olympics, waiting for rob to come (twss) and use (rob that is) the harness you so thoughtfully bought for him.

        • Toronto. I’m trying to get over there next Wednesday though, don’t care what events I get to attend, I just want the olympic experience.
          Ahh, the harness, riding is good.

    • That is both first-hand embarrassing and amazing. I cringed and turned green with envy. Hats off to you, brave, bold woman!

      • I’m concerned that everybody seems to find it bold. Am I normal to find it normal? (Of course that doesn’t include giving him the letter in person, which I would never do, ever. Would do some other personal things with him though.)

        • “Am I normal to find it normal?”

          That’s like a double negative!

        • You’re just the normal amount of bold.

        • my reply disappeared. it was-

          You’re bold in normal way.

    • Job well done… No guts, no glory! It would have been cool if you had gone through with it. I would have liked to have heard Rob tell that story on late night tv. Bwahahahah!!!

      • bwhaha, that is not funny! the whole thing about knowing the exact schedule was precisely to avoid HHH and thus international embarassement on a late show. but i guess it’s useless when you have no time notion. see u around xylem.

    • ohh MP this sounds something you’d never do..(and i’m saying that without knowing u wth me?)
      i’m impressed eventhough u gave up
      this is the post of the day
      ❤ U for all the attempts

      • I’d say it was more the fail of that day or the cracking-up moment of the year.

        • nooo u against LTR. we all think it was cool plus UC already wants a copy.

    • LOL, girl you should have just done it!!!!

      • well, I would have really done it, if Nick wasn’t there and if that stupid guy would have just given the letter without having the bright idea to actually call nick. i just wanted to send him the letter anonymously. next time i’ll bring a wig and sunglasses…or not.

        • You can borrow the Bella wig from Eclipse.

    • So want to read that letter!

      • i put it in a “safe place” on a USB device from work and have no idea where it is at the moment, i hopefully didn’t give it to someone with some PPT, but i guess it’s somewhere at the bottom of a drawer, under empty packangings of chips or smth. i might still have the envelope with the printed letter somewhere at home. unless i threw it away so my bf doesn’t realise my lameness.

        • It is very safe if you don’t know where it actually is. If I ever need someone to hide a treasure for me you’re the first one I’ll ask MP!

          But just imagine someone from work would find that USB stick and mails the letter to ParisMatch. Coverstory:Letter discovered of Robert Pattinson’s Secret French Lover. And the same cover on The Sun in England would be like:Robert’s Pattinson likes French Kissing.

          Meanwhile Rob’s all intrigued by this mysterious French lady and the letter he never got…

          OT: I was just wondering if they’ll have a Paris premiere for Bel Ami next year. I suppose they will do that, don’t you think?

          • haha, no, there’s no name on the electronic version, only Rob, so our imaginary love affair is safe from press and I’m safe from Twi embarassement at work.
            of the hiding, the bad part is that i seem to also hide things i need daily, like my keys, a phone or smth. but i guess you can trust me if you want things to disappear.

            P.S. do you really think he’s lurking on a daily basis? Maybe quickly at the posts, but the comments? It’s too much, I dunno.

            UC&Moon if you ever feel like sharing (read palease have mercy!!!) your analytics stalking, please do. No one has to know about it.

            Rob, if you’re really lurking (like a perv’) come say hi.

          • and Bel-Ami, well, i dunno, but nothing will ever make up for the tragedy of them not filming in Paris so i can do my stalking on a regular basis. good observation, though.

    • MP, last year I wrote a bunch of letters to Rob and I tore up every single one of them. One sounded too stupid, one sounded too desperate, one sounded too cold, one had too much information, one sounded like a retard, etc, etc. So I decided not to send any of them. 😦

      What a waste of expensive perfume and stationery.

      • You put perfume on them??? You’re a real southernbelle!!! 🙂

        • Yes I did, different scents ones for each one too(btw these aren’t cheap imitation perfumes). Haha, I’m so crazy. I even bought special seals to go on the envelopes. I can’t believe I did that.

          So if Rob saw this post, he’ll probably laugh at me. Pathetic little southern girl. Lol.

          • If Rob sees ANY of this on any day, we can only guess at his reaction as he runs away.

          • my letter was in an envelope from work, and I covered the name and the address of the company with a black opaque marker. really messy. probably the opposite of yours.

          • drsaka, I know. See I’m glad I didn’t send it.

            Dear Rob,

            Please don’t let that scare you. I really am very normal in real life!

            XO
            Sb

      • i was going to say lets wright one all together or moon&uc could do that for us and then just realized this is “Letters to Rob” ..LOL..i’m not even drunk

    • Oh, well done, Minuit! That’s what I’m talking about, get out there and put your money where your mouth is, so to speak. Next time!

      • I heart you Old (not) One.

        • I also heart you Old (not) One.
          And next time i’ll hang my phone on my neck (not, i am not one of those people) just not to be late.

          • but i probably will be late again.

    • do you have a COPY of said letter!?

      • haha, just answered to Cath (above) about that.
        Maybe and i hope i’m the only one who has it since it was in a safe place on a usb from the office that is somewhere out there in the nature. i’ll have to look for it.

  20. MP, wow, that was bold (and a little, dare I say, crazy?). You know that I’m just kidding and you’re always ubercool.

    • That was crazy and ridiculous and embarassing, but could have worked if I wasn’t late as always. Because in my plan, I was supposed to be at the hotel when Rob was live on TV (so not at the hotel, no NIck either), but I have a serious problem with time…

      • hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha……

        can’t stop…..I think I love you more than Rob!

        hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha……………………..

        • and I think I’m even more moved than when I was next to Rob. never thought i might find true love on a rob blog without rob.
          going back for an hour to my other love, it’s lady’s downhill skiing at the Olympics. Who’s watching?

          • ME!

      • hey, at least you tried! In a crazy, but still bold way!

  21. Dear Rob,

    I have a pair of hooker heels and a harness. The harness I bought just for you, stop by sometime.
    xoxo

    Drunk Me

  22. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha………

    I think I love you more than Rob……

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…………

    • again, my response has been posted twice….

      see above….

      I think someone is f**king with my computer……….

      V. odd!

      • “I think someone is f**king with my computer……….”
        your mind?

      • MMM, I think there is an echo in your computer!

  23. Oh Ron. I love Ron and I would probably cal him that as well, in person or in an email while drunk.

    And I wholeheartedly agree, the classy drunk girl way to end any email to Rob is “Do Me”. It just has to be done. heh.

    • It’s only ladylike.

  24. Since I rarely drink and I don’t think the occasional glass of vino would render me drunk enough to email Rob. I would, instead, have to dip into my stash of leftover Vicodin, to find the kahunas to email Rob.

    Hey Roberto (wouldn’t be able to control myself),

    What’s going on? Not much here, just the usual crazy shiz (not really). WTF is up with your vagina allergy? Please let me in on this joke (I am praying it is). I am a measly American. Explain British humor, pls. Was this something Dick used to say, ha, ha?

    Plus, have you ever met the Queenie? Did she have her crown on? Do you think, now that you’re all big and stuff (that’s what she said), you will be knighted? Are you going to quit acting to write political speeches? Really? I think if you get a new gf, then u wouldn’t hate vaginas so much. Did her’s scare you?

    k thx

    UC – thanks for the Midwestern MILF shout-out. I do believe that would be Rob’s first choice;oD

  25. Wow… I don’t think I ever want him Sober. His hair gets wilder… his face. So hot.

    LOL@movie’s. Sharp.

    • Oh forgot ‘drunk me’. Here we go:

      ” Ron, Hold dis for me…pleeezzz *passes him drink while breathing hard* DONT DRINK IT! *points and glares* Hold still, i’mma poke, squish and pinch your face THEN i’mma sniff it. Now stand back while I do some jumping jacks while I strip for you all schmexyyyy. *fans crotch with drink menu while mouthing ‘kinda hot in here!’* ”

      Yup, that sounds about right *nods*

  26. I love how most of his crazy fan mail seems innocent enough, but usually includes totally terrifying things like “one of these days i’ll get your autograph you’ll see”. YOU’LL SEE?

    In my drunken email I’d probably insist we were soulmates or something. That’s sort of what I do. And then I’d make all kinds of awkward jokes. I’m a fun drunk.

    • Soulmates, yes that’s my kind of thing also. But when i’m drunk i like to think about the meaning of life, and why are we here, if it is someones plan or it’s just an coincidence, and stuff like that. I could also send him some kind of poetry mine or somebody else, or use im my mail a phrase from a song and pasted between my onw words. Or maybe just write a dirty story, that tub photo inspired me a lot lately.

      • Judging from the Details interview, Rob likes to get all deep and stuff too about the meaning of life when he’s had a few. Just throw in the pony harness and I think you’d hit it off real well. I’m jealous!

  27. You crack me up MP.

    I could tell you a similar story, but not one that involves Rob or any big ol’moviestar…And one of my other hobbies is sneaking/talking myself and friends into afterparty’s of gigs. Got a story or 2 about such occassions. (Although I’m semi retired now)
    I so would like to read that letter!!! Hilarious. I actually think you should’ve just given it to Nick. Or just played the Uberbitch and demanded that you could only hand it over to Rob personally. But my sane side says it’s probably for the best, because handing out letters to handsome men, it will bring forth trouble…
    (Been there, done that…I had a crazy beginning of my twenties, haha)

    • Above should ofcourse been under MP’s crazy letter post, my internet connection is going crazy at the moment, so replying went a little wrong. 😉

    • ooo, i sense some good stories from Amsterdam. would lovelove to hear them some day.
      my point was actually to have the letter given to him without never ever meeting one of them personally (well not in that very embarrassing fangirl situation), because i would never admit my crush on Rob to him (unless very very drunk), but I happened to show up when they were leaving. damn you time who never synchronize with me!!!

  28. I’m a very loveable drunk…sober, i’m rather snarky, but i’m very huggy and cuddly when drunk. I’d probably own up to being in love with him. You know, insist that we belong together. I’d tell him that I stutter and blink…just not as much as the stew. and then i’d tell him that i’ve never been fake lesbians with anyone, because i’m allergic to vaginas as well (which would be super odd because i’m definitely a chick.)

    it would probably be the sappiest and most romantic thing i’ve ever written.

    and then, at the end, after all is said an done, i’d ask him to buy me another jack and diet.

  29. the only thing i know is if i ever get a chance to meet him or reach with any tecnological way
    i would probably propose him without no embarrassment at all
    so no one would say i didn’t try 🙂

  30. Dear Rob,

    Pls cum over & bring your instrument.

    luv,
    lionn

    • that K.I.L.L.E.D me !!! Dirty lion, dirty!!! 🙂

    • ML, I ❤ you.
      So. Very. Much.

    • Shameless!!!! LOL. Funny.

      • I think “shameless” pretty much sums up the last 7 months for me.

        • I’m looking forward for the next 7 months…sounds all good there in lion-shameless-town! ❤

      • Shameless…. wasn’t that a Garth Brooks song:

        “Darlin’ I’m shameless… when it comes to lovin’ you. I’d do anything you want me to ’cause I’m shameless…”

        Yeah, that about sums up my feelings about Rob.

        • HAHA! Tupelo thanks for reminding me. Btw I met Garth Brooks!

          • Really? Kewl………..

          • Kewl… that’s how my daughter spells it… thought I’d try it out. lol

          • Tupelo I’m cool with kewl. Is it the older or the younger one saying this?

            You know what would be kewler…meeting Rob. And I’m not talking about running into him at Walmart, I mean when I look nice and made up. LOL. Yeah like that’s gonna happen.

          • It’s the older one that spells it that way. I can’t understand half of what she’s sayin when she texts me. Guess I’m old…

            Totally understand about meeting Rob when you look nice. You must have the same experiences I have at Walmart. I only see people I know when I look like crap. If I go out looking really good I don’t run into anybody!

          • Yes, so you get the drift. Going to Walmart is usually just a quick stop for me, I don’t really buy much there. But yes doing errands, not the day to meet someone you have a huge crush on!

            At least you text! I don’t even text, I only do it if I absolutely have to. That is one technology I’m not really fond of.

    • Great work ML!

    • hahaha i guess i’m still really innocent that i thought u meant his guitar by”your instrument”
      LoL great one lion

      • Che~
        I really did mean his guitar and was simply misunderstood…lol

        • ML, you meant his guitar… sure, I knew that…

        • yes i’m sure,i belive u. all these things comes first from RG 🙂
          she’s really naughty .pls no offence i know u’re allergic to these kind things RG 🙂

          • You mean I sort of infected lion with my “cum as you are-Rob” and “let me play your instrument-Rob” comments? No honi, no, I’d not even talk to that lion-girl, I’m allergic and I hate vay jays as well!
            🙂

          • yes u are 🙂

        • Yeah right…somehow I don’t believe you ML. LOL

    • Mmm hmm, baby. I’d probably want to talk to him about his instrument, too. I’d tell him I think he’s very talented, and would he mind giving a demonstration. Guys can’t resist the flattery.

      • A demonstration? I love thinking about what that would involve.

        Cheers,
        lion

    • Yes bring the instrument…,and we could play all night.

      • I’ll play the flute…sorry..I can’t help myself.

        • thunk, that’s all of us falling into the gutter.

          • with kettledrums and TRUMPETS!!! omg!

        • “I’ll play the flute…sorry..I can’t help myself.”

          pls lion do! it goes really wild and u really crack me up

  31. Well if I’m drunk(which I rarely do anymore), I will probably have no inhibitions whatsover! That won’t be a good thing. It will be one long, embarrassing letter that I will regret after I wake up from my drunken mindset!

    I think I’ll probably make out with his picture or my desktop. LOL. Yes, hug the laptop and crush it type of thing. Not good.

    • Very expensive drunk make out as well, crushing your desktop…
      You’d rather crush a certain someone. (never mind me SB, my mind is IN the gutter today, don’t know what’s the matter with me today…)

      :halo:

      • Cath, yes I’d rather be sober though and crushing(physically) a certain 23-yr-old British guy with sex hair and facial stubble. Sigh.

        I sound scary! Sorry Rob, I can’t help myself!

        • SB, Rob’s used to elephants who (that’s what he said) mouthwash him. A little crushing shouldn’t scare him. LOL.

          Yesterday I found myself staring at those Rome photo’s of Rob. His stubble/eyes and hair in those pics. I’m telling you; not healthy.

          Later I reread the Bel Ami script before I went asleep, didn’t help a bit…haha…

          • those Rome photos were devastating

          • What Rome photos? The one from last yr?

          • cath sounds like a wonderfull night.i dunno why but i prefer sexdrive rob to rome rob.the hair is crazier

          • I know right?!

            OT, But did you know btw that the girl who George Duroy ends
            up marrying at the end of BA will probably be his costar of Bad Mother’s Handbook: Holly Grainger. Saw that on IMDB yesterday. LUCKY, lucky girl. Her 2nd movie with Rob. Wonder if she has the same agent or he recommended her…
            (And very lucky because she also got to star along Bradley James in the BBC fantasy series Merlin, which I really like.)

            Some girls have all the luck…:-)

          • Above reply meant for drsaka, today everything goes wrong with my replies…

            And SB, yeah, these ones:http://i581.photobucket.com/albums/ss259/RobsessedBLOG/Rome/RobertPattinsonRomePhotoshoot2-c-2.jpg

            Those eyes will be my end.

          • Yup I knew about Holly Grainger, I bet they are friends, remained friends since BMH.

            So what about the Rome pics? I’m curious.

          • These SB:

            http://www.robsessedpattinson.com/2010/02/robert-pattinson-in-rome-franco-origlia.html

          • Cath thanks. I already have that. My Rob born is exploding.

          • cath it was for draska but i know that too and i used to like Holly till learned that now i’m jelaous
            both with Bradley part too.he’s hot,handsome,swett…
            btw what’s with that Gwen?

          • I really want these enlarged Cath. I want them inside my closet and one on the ceiling of my bedroom. I wonder if that will freak me out, waking up to see those soul-piercing eyes of him?

          • Cath, I saw the listing of Holly as Suzanne. I like her (and of course am jealous of her in BMH that she got Daniel Gale). She was also in BBC series, Demons.

            Those Rome pic are too much-

          • Cath- the Bel Ami script- not too much dialogue (too bad because I love his voice) but he does get busy…. a lot in the script. Its a really interesting part for him to play (other than the busyness which should be required of him in every single movie he does from here on out).

          • and thanks for bringing up elephants again.

          • Hey Che, Bradley’s so handsome. So many cute London boys… Really fits the prince part.
            Don’t like the pairing with Gwen though. Not feeling much chemistry there…But well…

            OK, totally OT. 😉

          • drsaka, you’re welcome for the elephant reference! LOL.

        • SB, did you know you said Rob “born” instead of Rob porn? Biggest Freudian slip today.

          Congrats!

          • LOL!!!! Omgeee…..I’m so embarrassed! *blushes*

            OK what does that mean? Someone please psychoanalyze me!!!

          • It means you want to have his child!

          • Rob born…………hahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahha
            southernbelle going …whatsoever! hahahah

          • ML, well yes, that can be arranged ;-).

          • ‘My Rob born is exploding’ sounds like something from Breaking Dawn.

          • SB always has the best “Freudian typos”. Always revealing!

          • Rob born, too precious, hahaha.

            And SB, are you sure your husband will like Rob staring down at him from the ceiling with those large soullful eyes???

            Am quite sure he’ll come up with some lovely nicknames if you’d put Rob on the ceiling…

            LMAO! You made my day with both comments! Thanks hon!

          • Rob born exploding??? I c a n’ t s t o p l a u g h i n g right now!
            Hahahaha…OMG… 😆

          • LMAO! You girls are making me laugh…glad I amused you with my “error” today.

            Darn typos, remind me to proofread next time!

            So I guess my true intentions are now laid out for everyone to see. Great. LOL.

          • Cath, my husband will be annoyed out of his mind if I put a huge poster of Rob on the ceiling. It’s bad enough he has to sleep using a Rob pillow. Ooops did I say that? lol

            His nicknames for Rob are very bad and offensive so I think I’d rather not post them here. 🙂 Let’s just say hubby is not a big fan of Rob.

          • Well, if he sleeps on a Rob pillow, hahaha. I can imagine him having calling Rob some not so nice names. I think he’s just afraid of falling for him as well. Rob being irrestible and all…hahaha…

            But really SB, you totally rock if your husband actually sleeps on a pillow with Rob’s face on it! That’s the best thing I’ve heard. Feminism 2010. Rob style. This makes my day. No. My week!

            Luv ya!

          • Cath, I’m serious. He does. We have two, gifts from my little brother, he made them himself. Yeah I’ve heard my hubby mutter some not so nice things under his breath. Pfft. LOL.

            Have a good night! Sweet dreams(Rob)!

  32. Drunk me reads into everything so I would tell Rob we were meant for each other because we have so much in common: beer, dogs, plaid, twilight, frozen food, in&out burger, word vomit. See? So much in common. Meant. For. Each. Other. Duh.

  33. Instead of emailing, I would rather prefer to meet him in person. 😦 Is that too hard(twss), such a far-fetched dream?

    I know I’ll embarrass myself but I don’t care anymore. I don’t think I can quite master “word vomit” as well as he doews but maybe I’ll make an impression on him. LOL.

  34. Don’t stop believin’ (as in the song), never give up on dreaming. Who knows SB? No sadfaces anymore, okay?

    🙂

    • Oh haha, that song is by the Journey. Yes I know that song! We sing that in the karaoke all the time!

      No more sadfaces…alright.

      And sorry y’all for all my typos, so many distractions here.

  35. maybe i would consider to send a cv and apply for a job as his personal assistant.and that includes ; wake up him everymorning,supply him all food and drink,do his laundry and press them,get shopping for new BB and wash his hair.is that normal to want to wash his hair ?
    wait all this makes me a servent than an assistant right ?and if i don’t get paid i’d be totally slave .Slave..hımm..this word reminds me some other things

    • “Slave to the rhythm”! GREAT! SONG! 🙂

    • I won’t that at all! I’d love it.

      RG, does this remind you of anything? LOL. 😉

      • Yes, that def reminded me of something dear to my heart, SB.

        • YES!

        • Tehehehehe.

      • Oh shucks I totally didn’t make sense in my post!

        I think I meant to say I want that, be his personal assistant! Sorry.

  36. Drunk me would profess my undying love for him. And then be like “Yo (drunk me is a gangster just so you know…) remember that time in {insert random movie} when….”. Or “Remember when you said {insert random Rob rambling} in that interview..”

    Drunk me is loud and talks a lot, so that would be fun.

  37. i hope Rob dosen’t read LTR today(as he does usually) cuz we are writing things what we suppose to write when we are drunk- so we probably could denial or act like never happend but that’s lettin’ us without excuse.

    • Maybe he reads it being drunk himself. Imagine that.

      Here’s my number Rob. Drunk text me!

      555-12345 (yeah right)

      • cath..2 questions, perhaps you know that…
        1) why in every american-tv-film the phone number begins always with 555?
        2) you posted the Rom-rob-forehead-vein-pic…..I want to touch that vein all the time and with touch I mean kiss ! Normal?
        🙂
        P.S. me is still totally sober!

        • Of course it’s normal it’s just robsession

        • I love the head vein, too. We are not normal…

          • I don’t really like the head veins, they scares me, they look like they’re going to explode,i prefer fluffy forearms hair, or chest hair, …or other kind of hair.

      • fingers crossed

  38. RG! Great observer you are!

    1) That 555 thing is indeed an US movie/TV thing. They ALWAYS use it because to rule out the risk that any real number would be used, which happened in the beginning of TV once I read somewhere.

    2) Totally normal. Like staring at his eyes for way too long and then wanting to bang your head in to a wall because the real thing is nowhere near.

    Normal right? 😉

    • Cath please don’t bang your head, lol. Just punch a hole in the wall, that might be better. JK.

      • SB, there’s no room left in the wall…LOL. It’s one big hole already. (Not really, don’t worry)

    • thx for explaining…and YES..I’m a good observer….. unfortunately to nothing really related (read committed) to me, so me is Rob-bed again…damn!

      • The pleasure of being Robbed. Still the best movie title ever.

        • Oh, to only have the pleasure of being Robbed…Sigh…

      • Robbed by Rob, well that would be a luxury!

  39. I feel like this post is just made for me! Because believe it or nt I am on my way to get vrx drumk…
    To everyone who doesnt know why: because it is kosovarian independence day. (I’ll post smth tomorrow to explain)
    And my people like to partey! (at least a week… Not j/k)
    And I dont have to head to work romorroe…!

    So to everyone: Happy Independence day!

    And to get bak on topic. I woud most probably wite some stupid maiü to him. Smth relly weird that does not make sense at all…
    But I agree that I want to deunk txt him cause thats funnier. He would get my messages for sure! And he would probs call me to tell me that my cupcaked are nice (pls terl me somebody heard of this interview too..)

    Anyhow I am off foe now. I hope i can come back leters to make a real drunk comment or weite a txt/mail…

    love and celebration!!!
    Bleriana

    p.s. To mah girl che: Urime te perzemerta edhe ty zemer! Festoje ket dit dhe ndihu krenare se je shqiptare!

    Anyway

    • Bleriana, I’d love to hear more about Kosovo Independence Day!

      Happy Independence Day!

    • PUTHJE!!! 🙂

    • hahaha bleriana i was just gonna ask u to write something albanian so i can totally belive the world is little and u did.
      urime dhe ty po un e kuj veten mashum turcheli se sqiptare(my father’s origin is turkish but my ancestor had lived for ages there so become albanian-the whole ottoman thing-actually i’m not sure what i am 🙂 dhe është treguar nuk edi gramatikın shum mir
      i mean happy independence day i’m sure my whole relatives are celebrating that too.

      • bogun c,alis,miyorum 🙂

        • RG don’t to this to me
          OMG… this the day that i love u more than ROB
          plus why u said that u know what it means?
          or is it really an off day
          did i mention that u rock
          hahahaha

        • Ich arbeite nicht heute 🙂

          • Evet! ve güle güle!!! lol Studied some turkish at university…it’s a great language, I love the rigor vowel harmony…. 🙂

          • poor RG 🙂 i thought u might heard from someone who might be your neighbor, friend or wathever since there are so many Turkish
            i’d tried to learn german,spanish,italian…once upon a time.. but then i thought c’mon u can’t even speak english properly and just gave up:)
            anyway gute nacht

          • che…I was joking..

            so I’ve an english, a german, a turkish, a greek, an italian, a spanish and a french neighbour….each one taught me 5 words to use und to switch up in every convo me is going to have about the ONLY NEIGHBOUR I really want to HAVE……

            Pattypattz….should I give up? NOOOOOOOO…..b/c

            HOPE is the last thing to die!!! Gute Nacht!

            ❤ 🙂

          • don’t do me that kind of jokes girl see how naive i am 😀
            fingers crossed for the nieghbour wish
            and song for all of hopes :Lykke Li-possibility
            i’m done for tonight
            see u ladies tomorrow

    • Have fun B!

    • jam krenar qe jam sqiptar
      ne mutlu Türküm diyene
      😀 😀 .)

    • thx fr the kind wishees.
      I rlyyyy have to watch out. If i get too drunk i cant celebrat the rel partey in munich on friidey. (did dat jus ryme?) Or too drunk to lassst the hole week…

      Anyhow
      I am of an hope tat ther will be no rob sex tape leak while im gone…

      @che: U livd in kumanova so ure kinda albanian. and your albanian is awessome!

      @robgirl: Thx sooo mucho! Hearin so sppeak my language on a day like this? Makes m vry proud!

      @ml: I´d luv to tell you bout it

      @cath: Can u tell I am hving fun alredy?

      • Yes B, I can tell u havin fun like thssssss muchhhh. 😉

      • yeah girl go on, get party
        btw i argue a lot with my uncles/cousins at macedonia about that
        i prefer to call myself crossbred 😀
        nooo we are all earthling but i used to watch Roswell and wanted to be an alien
        now aliens out ,wampires in 😀

    • Hey B, happy independence day and have lots of fun!!!

      XO

  40. dEAR rOB,
    ur sOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hawt i WANNA zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
    (head hitting keyboard during pass out).

    I am a sleepy drunk who always seems to have caps lock on.

    • Snowwhite, a very realistic re-enactment of actual drunken emailing! Thumbs up!

  41. “DEAR RON

    I WANTED TO TELL U TAHT I GOT SO TURNED ON WHENN I WATCHED (..) LITTLE ASHES AND THE PART WHERE U WATCHED (?) THAT OTHER GUY DO THAT CHIC! IT WAS HAWT AND SICK! YOUR SICK! I HEARTED IT.

    LUV,
    ME (SHHH…ITS ME)” barf!

  42. “Its because women all over the world can then lay on the magazine pages and its exactly like having sex with you, right?”
    :]
    That has to be one of the best ones!lol

    Hmmmm what would I write?….
    Probaly something like this-
    “Deer Ron,
    Your my soulmate.Im gonna marry you b/c were meant to be together.U can bite me screw that Bella chik she just annoys you and almost gets herself killed.I wont get on your nerves and u can do WHATEVER u want to do to me*winnk*I LOVE U!!!!!!Were going to be together soon and when were together Ill buy you alot of hotpockets!lol.hmmmmmmmm…..Can you sing me to sleep tonight please it woulllllld mean alott to mee.I DONT CARE ABOUT KRISTEN she doesnt need too no!”
    Hmmm………yeah I think thats how it would go.
    love ya,Nicole

  43. This just in LTR folk:
    Rob’s agent (Nick Frenkle) drunk emailed him about that Details interview. My contact at AT&T text messaging intercepted it for us – Here’s what Nick said:

    re: Subject: your latest interview

    WTF! ALLERGIC to VAGINA WTF!
    Your closest experience was with a DOG!
    Oy veh! Jesus F’ing Christ!#@$&%
    We set up that interview so it would appear your NOT allergic to Vagina. Those persistant rumors about you and your little buddy Tom are killing your image — I’m going 2 be all over Stephanie’s ass 4 letting this one go thru. that bitch!

    hate you!
    Nick

  44. My drunk email to Rob would go something like this:
    (hic… burp) — sound effects…

    Dear Rob:
    I read THE article. yeah, that one..BABY!

    Trying to give U the benefit of doubt that the comment about “hating vaginas” was said with a “wink, wink” but without it being described “how it was said”

    Babe.. YOU should know those “vaginas” are the ones who are making U millions by flocking to the theaters to see your movies and buying the DVD’s. What if all the “vaginas” didn’t go to see your movies anymore???huh what then?

    I propose all the vagina’s do something! (hic)
    Lets go on a boycott.. or a vaginacott.. whatever..

    (hickup… burrrp).

  45. Today i have another idea how my drunk email may look like. It’s just for a case, when i will be so druk that i just couldn’t write rightly. I will took myself an arty black and white photos, of some of my body parts, (not actually the ones he is allergic on), with some kind of massage painting on them, (i have one but i won’t tell). ‘Cause you know, sometimes picture can say more than thousand words.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: