We received this fan letter for you, and I was inspired:
i know you’ll never read this, you probably have dozrns of people reading mail for you but i want to vent anyway.I guess you can call me a twi-mom. I actually saw the movie 1st then read all 4 books 3x. I saw you on screen and had to learn as much as i could about you it was like you fell out of the sky. i started googling you and watching interviews on utube, the thing about you back then was that you were shy and you didn’t know how striking and hot you were or is that just a front. i love all your music and movie’s i’ve seen haunted airman twilight and little ashes i was also one of the women who was in nyc watching you film remember me but i let you have your space lol. i was there 3x at 6am you could have given me your autograp oh well one of these days i’ll get your autograph you’ll see much success to you rob i love everything i’ve seen so far you make it and i’ll come love Missy. I saw other movie’s but i’m so buzzed i can’t remember.
Inspired to discuss…. what if I drunk emailed you? Would I add an apostrophe to the word “movie’s” even though I’m pretty sure that’s NEVER grammatically correct? Would I get pissed that you never responded to the e-mails I wrote when I wasn’t drinking? Would I ask questions and forget to use a question mark? I write crazy times things to you (example here and here) when I’m SOBER- what in the world would I write if I were drinking? (In my defense, I have actually blogged while tipsy before. And I’ve handled it well. A few spelling errors here or there. The sentences looked more like texts: (Do u guys lik rob y or n?) but overall, no major blunders… well, except for that confession of my Mike Welch/Justin Chon fantasy over on LTT, but I digress)
I asked Moon what she thought she might write or confess. She got confused (she was probably drinking) but gave an answer:
UC: any thoughts? what would you say to Rob if you were drunk and no holds barred
Moon: i love you man. and id probably hug him A LOT- that is my drunk style. or id ask him what the f*ck was up with him and kristen
Moon: and then id hug him again and make him dance with me
UC: Kay, that’s nice, but what if you EMAILED him though
Moon: thats my drunk style
UC: hugging is not possible via email so what’s the email version of Drunk Moon hugs
Moon: i’d tell him i want to hug him or confess that i was hugging my computer or say DUDE REMEMBER THAT TIME… i loved when you were XXX…whatever
UC: “deer Rob, I’m huging my computr so hard rite now. cus I’m riting you”
Moon: and i’d tell him I just listened to Never Think like 55 times on repeat which is a feat since I listen to it on vinyl with a candle burning
Moon: cause ya know that’s how you see your future and I’m pretty sure if i played Never Think backward it would say MOON, I love you. In fact I’m going to try it now- I hate you rob, you ruined my record player
Would I say things I swore I’d never tell you (like about this site?) Would I call you “Ron” instead of Rob every time I wrote your name (as I often do, with or without drinks)? Would I try to form opinions about your career and your life and sound educated but end up sounded, well… like Kristin, 5 cran and vodkas in, talking about your Details shoot?
Rob- the white sport coat says don johnson meets love boat to me. Yes, Don Johnson on the Love Boat. and I’m not a fan. Why are you always laying down. Nevermind. Its because women all over the world can then lay on the magazine pages and its exactly like having sex with you, right? The whole weird diseases thing. creepy. but I think thats your ploy to put people off. Not working dude. try something else, like profess your love for 25-35 year old stay at home moms in the midwest…wait…
(I hope I sound like Kristin.. that’s some funny shizz right there) Well, I think there’s only one thing to do to know for sure….. I’m gonna get drunk. And write you an email. And then share it for everyone to enjoy! Look for that soon, Ron….
Allright, what do you think? You’re drinking- you’re not holding back. You’re sending an email to email@example.com stupidly thinking that’s Rob’s email address. What do you say? Maybe you don’t drink, but you’re uber sleepy. Or uber “upped” and NOT holding back. Spill it in the comments!