Posted by: themoonisdown | February 16, 2010

Robert Pattinson in Details and we play some Hardball!

Oh here they go again...

Dear Rob, LTR-ers, and crazy Robsessed fans,

This weekend images from Rob’s Details spread and a corresponding interview/article leaked (TWSS) all over the interwebs and aroused, titillated and bewildered us all so we felt it was necessary to again bring in a panel of trusted experts to decipher the interview as well as break down the images. That’s right it’s time to play some HARDBALL! Yes, this is the LTR/LTR version of our very own cable news show so sit back and relax as we bring you all the facts, reactions and advice on:

HARDBALL with Moon and UC

Good evening and welcome to this edition of Hardball on Tuesday, February 16, 2010. And here’s what we know about Rob’s Details Magazine spread…

Moon: The Facts are as such: Jenny Lumet interviewed/hung out and got plastered with Rob on a couple occasions and wrote a sorta outsiders perspective/interview which is accompanied with a risque photoshoot of Rob looking bored with two nude models in some titillating positions.

Right, left, right, left, where am I looking?!

UC: How many times are you going to say “titillating?”

Moon: At least 10 more times. And I’ll giggle each time. FYI.

UC: Fine. As long as I can say “perv” a lot.

Moon: DONE! So let’s address the elephant (heh) in the room first so we can get the speculation out of the way and get on with the facts. So you may have been wondering and yes clearly Details called us up at the LTR/LTT remote headquarters (the M&S men’s underwear dept) and asked if we could offer our services as nude fetish models for Rob’s Details photoshoot. Certainly we were very busy, what with weighing the advantages of briefs vs boxers and taking frequent Slurpee breaks at the 7/11 next door but who are we to deny the world of art and ROB our services? So we agreed.

UC: Whew, I’m glad that’s outta the way. Imagine our surprise when we saw the good folks at details left off the red ribbons over our eyes! It was tres embarrassing to say the least. Now you’ve seen ALL of us and we feel closer to our audience and with that said let’s go to our panel of esteemed guests, Rob lovers, bloggers, h00rs and and Elephant experts for their reactions…Coming to us live from the busy “Shucks” Oyster Bar in the Midwest, USA is pal and original forum mod, Kristin! Hi Kristin can you give us your thoughts on Rob’s Details spread?

Smooth as Tom Stu...

Kristin: WHAT?! AM I ON?! Wait guys I gotta fresh drink… OH I’M ON?! HEY GUUUYYYSssss, I’m reporting live right now from “Shucks” Oyster bar where I’ve had about 5 Grey Goose and Crans courtesy of the good folks at “Shucks” and all I can say is I’m looking at the images now and picturing him with his finger on MY ass—

Moon: UH THANK YOU Kristin! Very personal on-the-scene reporting, we’ll come back to you later to weigh in. Oh wait, we’ve got breaking news from Tiffanized who has intercepted texts between Rob and Kristen on the day of the photoshoot. Let’s go to Tiffanized

Tiffanized: Hi Moon! A source close to the couple (and my friend at the phone company) has just contacted me with information I think you’ll find these texts illuminating to what happened the day of the photoshoot between Rob and Kristen Stewart
K: R the models pretty?
R: No.
K: R u lying?
R: No.
K: What r they wearing?
R: Nothing
K: ??
R: I ment nothing nice.  I hit send 2 fast
K: Do u have 2 touch them?
R: Just a little
K: I can’t wait 2 c the pics

Follow the cut to hear some panelists, The Font makes an appearance and a sneak peek inside of LTT/LTR headquarters

Our specials include the Lobster bisque and white dinner jackets


Moon
: Thanks Tiffanized sounds like Rob better burn every copy of this magazine before she sees it. With that in mind let’s take a closer look at some of these pictures… Here we have Rob in his white suit jacket and all I can think is he opened his own seafood restaurant on the coast and is acting as the maitre d during his down time

UC: he’s telling us about the freshly caught scallops

Lula: At Rob’s Seafood restaurant all clothing is designed by Geoffrey Beene

She's got LEGGS she know's how to use them

Moon: And of course he hired us as the waitresses and our uniform is provided by LEGGS. Let’s go to Lula our resident Fashion and panty hose expert, can you tell us if these are Control Top or Sandal Toe?

Lula: Definitely control top, notice how it holds her in down south while lifting. We’re most definitely dealing with some sort of control panel.

Moon: Ah yes, I can see it now… Illuminating as always Lula, this is good to know for our readers future purchases. Thank you for your expert opinion. UC?

UC: Well, now that the cats outta the bag and everyone knows we are the models in this shoot we might as well let everyone know that part of this photoshoot was shot in the LTT/LTR headquarters.

Just another day at the office

Moon: Yea it was quite easy because they just told us to go about our normal routine… In the morning we make out, near our oil painting  of Rob

UC: Then we blog and drink scotch and pee in that wicker toliet

It's business time

Moon: Then around lunch Rob just shows up to hang out and watch you bone me from behind while he tries to look disinterested. That is actually a picture of our daily staff meeting.

UC: Right after Rob had a meeting with the Mafia and stole these hot shoes for us.

Moon: Too bad he stole the clown ones for himself

Moon: Let’s get back to the interview… Jenny Lumet writes about Rob that… “Complete strangers want to fuck you, shoot you, be you, buy you, sell you, run their fingers through your hair, watch you have sex, hear you pee, eat chips with you, and kidnap you and stuff you in the trunk of their car….” And I ask you panelists if given the opportunity what would you want to do to Rob or make him do?

UC: I’d like to hear him pee, possibly IN my trunk.

Moon: Uh alright. I’m glad I’m not the poor person who has to clean out your trunk at the car wash next time you go in for a hose down. How about you Kristin… can you hear me Kristin?

Kristin: CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!! I’m ON?? HEY EVERYONE we’re back at Shucks and I want Rob with his finger on MY ass—

UC: ALRIGHT Kristin, yes we get that you want to have Rob touches your bootay. Thank you and have another shot for us, we’ll come back to you in a bit hopefully after you’ve come up with some some new commentary.

Moon: Moving right along lets bring in our next panelist and marketing/advertising expert, BrookeLockhart. Brooke can you let us in on how the public is handling this Details photoshoot with Rob?

A very scientific chart (click to enlarge)

Brooke: When I’m not a key Hardball panelist, I am working in advertising and marketing, where I need to keep a pulse on general market behavior and attitude. I’ve brought a chart to illustrate recent changes in behavior due to the release of these photos and Rob’s interview. Let’s go to the chart, shall we?

UC: Folks, you’ll see that to your left on the screen…

Brooke: As you can see… dammit who included me in this chart!?

Moon: Sorry Brooke, looks like your research team is still hungover from the weekend. Let’s switch gears and talk about the real topic everyone’s been buzzing about Rob’s allergy to the female lady business. Here’s what he had to say…

“I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina. But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn’t exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover.”

Ew is that a vagina and a wicker toliet? Where's my Benedryl?

UC: Clearly he didn’t know how to answer because he really wanted to say “UC & Moon made me think about doing dirty things against that wicker toilet but I probably shouldn’t say that out loud.”

Moon: Obviously! I mean he didn’t want to make KStew jealous or anything. Let’s go to one of our resident male contributor, podcast (coming soon!) panelist and red blooded dude: The Font! What’s your take on Rob’s “allergy?”

The Font: Leave it to Rob Pattinson to make naked women unappealing.

Moon: Tell us Font as a straight guy can you really say you’re “allergic to vagina?”

Vagina?? No thanks!

The Font: He’s a weird dude. But you can’t be normal and be Rob Pattinson. He is a mess of self-loathing. I am getting kind of depressed reading this.

Moon: Reading this, he seems like a sad clown drunk. Like instead of being happy and hugging people and wanting to dance he just wants to “get all deep n shit and talk about life, bro!”

The Font: oh yeah dude. like, i kind of just want to buy him a beer and tell him that it’s all gonna be okay. ‘buck up kid. life isn’t all a morass of existential milieu’ he wants to be understood. but no one can understand him. It’s kind of sad, actually.

Moon: So you’re saying he’s an island unto himself?

The Font: No, he’s not. If he was an island, he’d be a badass motherfucker. like, if he is who he thinks he is, he wouldn’t be doing an interview with details magazine. His idol should be Dicaprio. like, that’s one of the only guys to go from heartthrob to serious actor and he didn’t do it by talking about being in love with his dog or whatever. like, respect the process. You’re an actor to express your humanity to the world. That’s where you’re supposed to do it. Not in magazine interviews. Pattinson’s a huge star. He should have more control over his image than this. You can’t not play the game at all. By not playing, you’re still playing.

Moon: Wise, wise words T.F. I’m sure Rob is having an epiphany in whatever trailer he’s reading this in now on the set of Bel Ami. Rob if you’re listening to this edition of Hardball and like what you hear, tune in to our Podcast which will be released soon!

All this vagine, so little time...

UC: Dare we go back to Kristin at the raging party at Shucks? Ok, Kristin are you there do you want to weigh in on Rob’s hate of the vah-jay-jay?

Kristin: *Yelling to crowd* He hates vagina!!!! We knew it! ROBSTU love! You want to Rock Tom Stu’s boat and we’ve known it all along.

Moon: Wait, Kristin, Rob’s not actually HERE with us in the studio… Kristin… ok, nevermind. Let’s go to Arrested Development lover and soul mate HeyyyBrother. HB tell us your thoughts…

HeyyyBrother: Assuming he and Kristen are indeed together, this could also totally explain Kristen’s surliness. I mean… we’re all assuming that Rob is a tiger in the bedroom, but what if he’s a confused disaster? What if, at the age of 23, he still fumbles with bra clasps for 20 minutes? What if he really does think “I’ll Make Love To You” is the best smexin’ music of all time (OF ALL TIME)? Couple sexual frustration with finding out that your boyfriend has announced to the world that he’s only ever connected emotionally with his dog (meaning you, a human who can actually use words couldn’t live up to that relationship), and I think we’d all come off a little grouchy.

Is that MotownPhilly?! TURN THAT SHIT UP! That's my jam!

Moon: Wait, you’re saying Boyz II Men ISN’T the best sexy times music all of all time?? Color me surprised. So any final thoughts? What did you take away from this interview with Rob? HeyyyBrother why don’t you go first…

HeyyyBrother: So basically, I came away from this article looking at Rob as a little more Andy from 40 Year Old Virgin (except Rob might also have A.D.D.), and a little less Paul the hot French dude from Unfaithful. But the awkward is endearing, and his pretty face makes up for everything. I’d like nothing more than to have a beer or six with him just to have the opportunity to pick the brain of a man whose best day of his life involved getting gummed by an elephant. Except taking advantage of him… that I might like more.

Moon: Enlightening HB, enlightening. I still gotta say that Boyz II Men is all up in my slow jams with Rob mix. But oh well, let’s go to Brookelockhart for her final thoughts, Brooke?

Look into my eyessssss you are getting sleepy... when you awake you will respect me!

Brooke: It saddens me that we, as a fandom, were too late to save Rob.  The Respect Rob campaign did little to help Rob’s emotional stability as evident by Rob’s mental digression to that  a six year old boy. Look at the evidence in the article, Rob hates vaginas. What’s another word for vagina? Cooter. What sounds just like Cooter? Cooties. Rob thinks girls have cooties!!! If only just a few more of us took pictures of ourselves with our hands in front of our faces, Rob would not be getting his jollies by the trunk of an elephant, but that of the sexy naked models rubbing themselves upon his body. Rob, on behalf of the fandom, we are truly sorry. To try to make it up to you, I have publicly shamed all the bloggers that posted the leaked Eclipse Photos

Moon: Thank you Brooke! Any final thoughts Kristin? Kristin… KRISTIN!!!!!!!!

Kristin: SHOT! SHOT! SHOT! SHOT!

Moon: Yes, thank you Kristin. Deep thoughts. And our thanks to Shucks for hosting you. Tell them to invoice us the damage you did at the bar. We’ll put it on Rob’s card. Wow folks, and with that another Hardball draws to a close. We’ve learned a lot, we’ve SHOWN you a lot of ourselves and have placed orders for new control top panty hose. We want to give special thanks to all our panelists, wedding dress wearer and oyster lover: Kristin, Volvo aficionado: Tiffanized, chart maker and Koolaid hater: Brooke Lockart, sick aunt lover: The Font and PT Loser dealer: HeyyyBrother!!!!!!! Thank you all for your amazing commentary and we look forward to next time!

Staff meeting time!
Moon and UC

So did you make it through to the end. We said epic and we meant it! Thoughts? Favorite pictures? Did you ever think you’d see that much of Moon and UC? And by much we mean our lady business?

Source: Robsessed and Details

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter


Responses

  1. I totally love what Font said. Its nice to know that I wants the only one who thought he was full of shit when I first read the interview. I have an internet crush on TF now. ❤

    P.S. Rob should get a publicist. I'm just sayin'…

    • I meant wasnt..

    • I meant wasnt..

  2. Haven’t had time to read the comments thus far, so sorry if I’m redundant. Just want to say thanks to UC and Moon for setting exactly the right tone for this discussion and understanding exactly what social relevance the Details article has to the world.

  3. I love The Font.

    That is all.

    • Can we start Letters to the Font? Seriously.

      • Thanks, Font. I like hearing your perspective.

  4. I know I am just waaayyy too serious a chick to worry that y’all didn’t get the vagina joke. . .I didn’t at first either, and maybe I’m waaayyy too serious thinking I’m doing a public service by explaining it . . .Maybe everyone has read the explanation already, but when I read yesterday morning the actual origin of it, the whole paragraph made much more sense.

    It comes from a joke about a guy who goes to the doctor. “Doc, I think I’m allergic to vaginas.” “Why is that?” “Because every time I’m around them, I swell up and I feel the need to rub.”

    So what he’s saying is that he had a boner during half the shoot. And that he’s glad he had a hangover, or it would have been worse. He was actually trying to tell us what the real problem was during the shoot, without actually finishing the crude punchline, or flat out saying it.

    BTW, the comment about “I had no idea what to say to these girls,” reminds me of RobArt not being able to have a normal conversation with an attractive lady and blurting, “I have an erection.”
    (Hee hee)

    Regardless of all this, I guess any crazy taken-out-of-context, misunderstood British half-joke that gets zillions of media outlets to comment on an interview that shows the real Rob, separate from Edward, more than any other interview in recent memory has, is a genius stroke of public relations for his personal media team.

    It’s fun to sit back and watch the show.
    Go Rob!

    • Thank you for that. Exactly what I thought, too.

  5. You guys ROCK!!!!!!

    Since I have another snow day, no school, the kids are thinking,,,yea but not in June when we have to go, I am here first before anything else.

    Anyhoo, I would just LOVE to be there when Rob and Kristen see each other for the first time after the pics. Can you imagine that converstation?

    Rob: “Hello love”
    Kristen: “Don’t you “love” me, Allergic to Vajayjay’s? You didn’t think that when you were sniffin mine!”
    Rob: “No, but you smell like HOTPOCKETS!!!”

    Can’t go on…but would love to see this.

  6. Le sigh.

  7. You had me at “scallops.”

    • I would go to Rob’s sea food shanty, but I would not eat the food. I don’t think his kitchen would be up to par. I wouldn’t want a sea food-flavored Hot Pocket anyway. He would, however, qualify as hottest maitre d ever.

      • Definitely hottest maitre d ever, I’d go there just to get a glimpse of him, I can’t have seafood, I’m allergic.

        • Hahaha! I don’t know if you meant that as a joke or not, but I choked on my water a little.

          • Oh hey KatieS, nope I wasn’t joking at all. 🙂 It’s true love I tell you because even the smell of shrimp and scallops actually make me sick.

    • ML, now will you say what you thought of the event of the week or what? 🙂

      • Sure, I’ll say it, outloud, MP.

        Jenny Lumet did not thrill me with her interview, but I still loved hearing all the brilliant things that go through Rob’s head and the books he reads (Eat the Rich):

        1. Zac Efron has more social relevance. HA!
        (dream on, Rob)

        2. wants to bring meaning to what he does, doesn’t want to cheapen it by asking for $20M and a fruit basket.

        I don’t think any of his comments were racist and sexist.

        I loved seeing Rob laying across the bathroom floor and liked the video outakes better than the photos. Any time Rob’s body or hands move…I am moved.

        I love seeing who Rob really is.

        How did I do, MP?

        xoxox
        lion

        • great you did, just wanted to hear your side of the story

        • Short and sweet and very wise ML!

      • Minuit…have you some interest in mine…or NOT more???

        • see below

  8. Why I love Rob:

    “he just wants to get all deep n shit and talk about life, bro!”

    The end.

    • Lion, honi, what do YOU think?
      Did I talked TOO MUCH the last 3 days?
      WAIT……. say nothing, nada, nichts, NIENTE!!!

      BEST quote EVA!!! I missed it, damnn….I could have comment again!!!
      🙂

    • Lion, honi, be honest..did I talked TOO much the last 3 days?
      Wait….say nothing, nada, nichts, NIENTE!

      Best quote eva!!! Damn I missed it…I could have make another comment!
      🙂

      P.S. If this will show up twice…its the internet sayin, that me has to shut up now!
      thx!

      • a sign …a sign…shut up RG! thx !

    • I did not read further than deep… 😉

    • Hey I’m cool with that. 🙂

      Rob you hear that? Come talk deep stuff with me, I’m all ears, amongst other things.

  9. I just want to summarize our conclusion that other day when we were discussing:
    “Robsession is a one way ticket without return!”
    “The wrong person was nacked!” by robgirl…
    Do you girls remember anything else?

    And I have an idea:

    We should do a new video. In every country and language!!! How about that?

    I volunteer for germany (I think I’ll have to share that one with robgirl…) or I could do spanish…

    Minuit could do french…

    UC and Moon could share the US-interview with the others. …

    There are still some countries/languages left… Who wants to do which one? 😉

  10. ok I’m still stupid today… I meant we should do a new interview.

  11. I actually LOVED this whole Details photoshoot/interview. This is grown up Rob. He’s way more articulate, insightfull, intelligent than a lot of 23 year olds. Crikey at 23 I wouldn’t have been able to give these sort of answers/reflections. The man is just so…..enigmatic. He says so much and yet really gives away so little. Still don’t really feel that you’ve got to learn any more about the man.
    As for the photos…..bloody hell…fantastic…Porn? No way….very artsy,very moody, and he’s not actually touching the girls is he as in touching them …sexually? And I totally got the Vagina comment….typical Rob. Shame he’s been blasted on other blogs, gossip sites by prudish, uneducated idiots. Still…that says a lot about some of the die-hard Twi-Fans. He really needs to unshackle himself from these people and I think this is his first step.
    Interesting that on a couple of reputable sites he has actually GAINED respect/admiration and a grudging liking…..he’s getting there….slowly..

  12. Dear Moon & UC – can I come work for you. Your staff meetings are so much more …AMAZING than mine are.

    PS – you both have very nice asses. No wonder Rob wanted to put his hands on them. I kinda do too.

  13. *wipes tears from my eyes* most hilarious thing i’ve ever read, ever.

    also, just to drop in my 2 cents. I always just assume he (rob) is screwing with people when he tells these really insane stories. i never believe anything he says.

  14. Oh! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! 😀 This is fun!
    *sits back and stops workgn to read*

    LOLing @ vagine captions. I ❤ you crazy bitches!

    • you know… I’d like a guy who AT LEAST likes V-jays. Idk, I wouldn’t ask for much.

      But yes, he said this to please his 19 year old g-friend OR his A.D.D. kicked in and he really DID word vomit cuz he was nervous…. but then again, he had like 4 beers in the interview… while wearing a sex horse suit.

      Hm.

      Maybe the elephant story really was a diversion. He went home right after.

      I have no words but Boyz II Men are in MY playlist also!

      *wondering if Kristin has a spare shot somewhere lying around in Shucks* Prob not. :-/

      Moon, UC. You have great boobs and V-jays. I’d stare and envy them any day. Bravo!

      ps. he still gets me all hot ab bothered. No matter what weird shit comes out of his lickable mouth. *sigh – is whipped* Off to buy some control top pantyhose in extra small.

  15. I have nothing more to add to this brilliance besides one line I tweeted after first reading the article.

    “Sooo….KStew has a dick?”

    NSFWRob is the greatest Rob of All Time. ALL TIME!

    Sure, I thought he was hot before this. It is certainly not his love of HotPockets that keeps me coming* back… BUT HOLY MOTHER-EFFING EFF.

    Details Rob is a game changer. Remember how I said I never picture Rob while reading FanFic? That changed. Seriously. Read UoEM with Details Rob in your head.

    My paradigm has been shifted. That’s what she said.

    • “Sooo….KStew has a dick?”

      bwahhahahahaha! its pale white and ice cold. *gigglesnort*

      *clears throat* Sorry. Stopping. No, no. My Rob Rob does not like peen, No!
      I’ve fallen for enough gay men for a lifetime. Jonathan Knight from NKOTB was the love of my life (well, still is) till I found out he was really just interested in my skirt, not my ass.

      Not Rob, please God, not him. I will not have it! *whispers* He’s just really scared it’ll bite. That’s all! :-/ *crossing fingers*

      • Bring on the thumbs down for me, but…

        I think it is more likely that Kristen Stewart actually has a penis than Robert Pattinson preferring dick to vag.

        • I’ll thumbs up to that! >.<

  16. *puts on sexy tweed jacket – a difficult thing to do on a day like today when there are SO many amusing things to joke about*

    Okay, two serious things I’d like to get out. First of all, I read somewhere (probably on some Respect Rob fansite, but that’s besides the point) that the pictures were “beautifully shot and artistic.” Okay, no. I’m just going to be snobby here for a second and say that I find the pictures to be utter trash. I think they were trying to be artsy, and be all Vogue/Vanity Fair/Helmut Newton/dare I say the Great Annie Leibovitz but they were just majorly #fail. The photos came off as trashy and amateurish. I instantly got their (boring old) photostory angle… hot heartthrob has anyonymous legions of women (beautifully modeled by UC and Moon in the shoot) willing to do anything intimate for him just to get a second of his attention. And The Man Rob lounges around and more or less ignores him, much to the anonymous female muses’ increasing frustration and chagrin. Welcome to Intro to Photography c. 1950 (before the female rights movement, because no, I’m not going to get into how disgustingly sexist the photos are right now, but I just want to say they are). The photos, while yeah sure they are hot, irritate me because in the larger sense they were anything but a successful commentary on him as a person, society and his fans, him as an actor, whatever. And then the interview, which I’m sure was trying to be similarly cutting edge and controversial, came off instead a lot like the egotistical @%# who was my former editor of my school newspaper, who wrote entire articles consisting of word diharrea, coming up with a message soley for the sake of controversy, aiming to be edgy enough to gain readers but in the end just lost credidibility and became the laughing stock of the readership.

    Secondly, I 110% agree with The Font (are you free Friday night, Font? would love to chat over one of TGI Friday’s margaritas…) about Rob needing to look up to Leonardo DiCaprio if he ever, ever hopes to be taken seriously as an actor (“…like, that’s one of the only guys to go from heartthrob to serious actor and he didn’t do it by talking about being in love with his dog or whatever. like, respect the process.” -Font). If Rob really cares about being a Serious actor and getting over all of the Twilight heartthrob image, shooting a trashy cover for Details and spewing out sarcastic quotes that he knows are going to end up in a word-diharrea article is the last thing he should be doing. Rob, meet Leo. Have lunch. Talk. Learn. It’s not too late. Also, next time, give Annie Liebowitz a call. She might wrap you in a sheet and muss your hair, but at least it will be subtler and hold more weight than the sleazy Details photographer’s final product.

    • Because I know I will get about a million thumbsdowns for posting this on here, today, just one disclaimer and a plea:

      1. I have had a craving for jumbo shrimp ever since seeing the deliciously hot Rob’s Seafood restaurant photo. Keep in mind in my post I didn’t say Rob wasn’t hot. The photographer/story/meaning behind it all sucked but he looked great anyways.

      2. a plea: I am an art history major. I am majorly critical of the media and visual arts in general. I : media/art as Rob : dogs.

      • 100% agree to the faker-artsy-reference-pics! No art! Commercial and it’s ok, but art or art-reference? No…I don’t think so….thx for your insights!

    • “And then the interview, which I’m sure was trying to be similarly cutting edge and controversial, came off instead a lot like the egotistical @%# who was my former editor of my school newspaper, who wrote entire articles consisting of word diharrea, coming up with a message soley for the sake of controversy, aiming to be edgy enough to gain readers but in the end just lost credidibility and became the laughing stock of the readership.”

      As a journalist I so recognize this story. I’m so with you on this OperaRose!

      • It’s the reason I didn’t pursue the career; I didn’t want to deal with the nasty editors who cared more about sensationalism and controversy than getting a solid story! It’s a shame because I love to write. Are you a working journalist now? In all fairness, when I was freelancing for my local paper my editor was great. But I guess small-town newspaper editors are different than most.

        Anyways, I’m relieved I’m not the only one who felt the whole Details magazine/photos/story was a disaster and a shame!

        • Yes, I’m working, freelancing for all kind of media. Dealing with all sorts of people, it sometimes gets very frustrating when the editor you’re dealing with has got a entirely different mindset than you have.
          I see where you’re coming from.

          And no, you’re not alone in this, a friend of me who has interviewed quite some stars, and is completely neutral about Rob, read it and felt the same. Being so critical of things like this comes with the territory. Let alone when it involves Rob. But to each their own. It’s just that it could have been much better in my very humble opinion.

          • You’re right that it could have been so much better! So far, all Rob interviews have either been a regurgitation of the same old info we all know or drivel like this.

            It’s great that you freelance. I’m working 9 to 5 sales/marketing and freelance on the side but hoping to leave soon for full-time freelance writing work. I’m just not loving the sales/marketing stuff. Editors may be irritating but at least it’s better to fill the hours with something you are passionate about.

          • Very true, there always comes a little bad with the good, which is okay as long as there’s more good than bad and you love what you do. I wish you all the best with your writing work for the future!

          • Thanks! 🙂

    • Operarose,

      Am just wondering about the Leo references. I love that he cares about the planet and is politcally involved. However, it seems that Leo is making movie after movie like some sort of machine. Rob keeps saying he wants to bring something meaningful and doesn’t want to act just for the sake of acting, so I’m not sure how Leo can help a person like Rob or if Rob needs his help…just sayin…I really don’t have the answers…

      I respect your opinion.

      • Well, Leo is just more of a general example, I’m not saying Rob should be exactly like him, in fact I don’t think he should. I’m just speculating that Rob wants to be taken seriously as an actor, and seems a bit lost as to how to overcome the Edward factor and accomplish that. And Leo is a great example of how to get over the initial teeny bop fame and be taken seriously afterwards.

        • Got it, Opera. Thanks for the details…
          lion

    • I commented before reading your comment. I love your post – very thoughtful. And the thing is, I know nothing of art but I can see your POV entirely. And yes, it’s sexist. But then why did I find the photos so damn sexy? I was raised by the a woman of the ERA movement and she literally burned her bra, so I feel pretty shamefaced saying how utterly sexy I found them. Maybe I have the sensibility of a man.

      I also think it’s really interesting to read the critical comments of the photos (on other sites as well as this one). The Harpers photos of him and Kristen and the Vogue ones just released of him and Emilie are obviously geared to a female audience. But the Details audience is clearly male, right? So I would guess they shouldn’t necessarily appeal to us as women. They couldn’t very well do a 6 page spread of Rob in Gucci and Prada, so adding in the females seems logical, if not politically advisable.

      Sorry, just musing…

      • TLG, you definitely bring up some valid points. First of all even though I studied art for 4 years I don’t think that you have to really have any formal training in it to appreciate and or critique it (or apologize for doing so). It doesn’t take a brilliantly trained art critic to see that this photoshoot was pretty trashy.

        Secondly I also feel like you shouldn’t be ashamed to think that the photoshoot was hot. Yeah it was pretty sexist but on the other hand, sexism and appeal aren’t mutually exclusive, if that makes sense. I think that the love story of Maria and Captain Von Trapp was pretty sexist at times (I mean the girly Maria transforms into a mature woman under his/his household’s tutelage…) but that doesn’t mean it isn’t my favourite romance ever. 😉 (oops…I mean after Twilight, of course…heh.) I think you can think Rob is pretty sexy but still be repulsed by the overall message that the photos are conveying, without feeling ashamed!

        Finally you bring up a good – and important – point that I didn’t mention, that yeah, the Details and, say, Vogue shoots are definitely geared towards different audiences. Although, Details knew that women would buy the magazine because it’s Robert on the cover, so in a way, they knew that the audience was going to be both. So what were they trying to say by having this brigade of trashy smut for Rob’s feature. Hm.

        • “It doesn’t take a brilliantly trained art critic to see that this photoshoot was pretty trashy.” I’m afraid that came off condescending but that’s not what I meant…should have worded that differently! where is the edit feature on these posts?! I mean, work keeps interrupting me and I make silly mistakes…

      • I really didn’t like the HB shoot; too corny for my taste. Rob looked good, but Kristen wasn’t really convincing in those big Oscar gowns. Rob’s Vanity Fair shoot I loved though.

        • I feel the same way. I didn’t even buy the HB mag. I did get the VF one.

          • VF was just too good. Sweater Rob, Bed Rob. It’s just fueled the imagination. A little weekend getaway with Mr. Pattinson. Oh my… In reality he’d be dressed in plaid and stained trousers, but that’s okay as well.

        • I loved the VF pics. They seem so much truer to his personality. At least what I imagine his personality to be. Plus the corn + the lobster was the only subtle/yet humourous hint at his sexually-charged fan base, which was kinda brilliant.

          • And he looked way more relax there, which ain’t that strange…All that great food and beer. Also loved the one with the ‘sex driven people’ cover’; he looked like he loved that little joke as well.

          • You know, I just love to see him doing something with his hands and mouth. So drinking and/or eating, that really turns me on when I see him do it. Love the VF pics!

          • The lobster bib and corn pics are my favorites.

      • TLG and Opera,
        Don’t want to desagree or anything, I appreciate everybody who stated their point of view, it’s cool, really, but it’s funny, because it never crossed my mind that it was sexist. I think we live in mature educated societies where you don’t have to be all politically correct all the time and can chill a bit. Like I can do inappropriate jokes about my gay friends’ sexuality without it being a homophobic joke. I mean women are not victims anymore. We also happened to objectify some guy as we were probably objectified by others. If you (general pronoun, not you in particular) want to be an old school purist (in the good, most neutral, historical sense) you can always say Twilight is a sexist story where the guy has all the power, bla bla. But I think we have the distance today to be more losen up about the whole thing.

        • I have to agree, MP. I can raise my hand and say I’m the biggest sexist objectifier of one particular man there is. On the other hand, if I were a) famous, and b) ogled over the way Rob is, I would not be happy about it at all. I might be allergic to vag, too.

          • Hey there sexist objectifier
            I was just going to agree with you about UC&Moon’s presentation of the international social relevance of an article. hilarious.
            I also thought of Rob reading fanfic and stuff, I mean I really wouldn’t feel confortable knowing that i’m a kind of a porn star for the half of the planet.
            Did I miss smth or you forgot to post YOUR bright vue on the whole thing? C’mon!!!

          • the international social relevance = ZERO

          • it’s the fact that everybody’s talking about it, so they presented it as if it was a live broadcasting thing. i loved that, thought it was funny.

        • minuit …the sexistical thing is sooo 70ties…we are over it…I hope…no…i know…we are over it…!!! It’s the year 2010!
          And Twilight ….well…it’s a love story….not Joan Baez or Yoko Ono or so

          • that was my point

          • don’t know what happened to the rest of my comment.

            I thought we were over all the “sexist” issues, ages before I was born.

          • ages before WE were BORN! Not my issue here! ❤

          • The feminists of the 70s didn’t know the unintended consequence of their movement would be that women can, and do, objectify men now just as much as men always have with women. Equal opportunity objectification! The fact that Rob is there to be drooled over just as much as the ladies in this photoshoot negates the exploitation.

            End of sociological commentary.

          • Okay, and in the interest of true disclosure, I will admit I ❤ John and Yoko.

            I'm a child of a child of the 70s.

        • First of all just want to mention that I’m not really one of those politically-correct types. If I was, I would have never moved to Quebec. Where everyday life involves complete un-political correctness; it’s just the culture here. (In fact my male coworker just made an incredibly sexist joke at my expense not 10 minutes ago and it didn’t bother me). Also I’m the last person to call Twilgiht sexist. So with that said…

          To clarify my “sexist point” just a tad, I was referring to the “sexist” POV that I felt the photographer assumed during the shoot. The photographer’s angle (well, in all fairness, my interpretation of the angle he was trying to achieve), was a commentary on Robert and his relationship with his female fans. The photog’s “artistic” commentary was driven by using oversexed, nude, faceless models representing the legions of female fans along with the fully clothed, domineering despite his passiveness, Rob. I didn’t like it, because it harkens too much for my comfort to historic uses of dominating male heroic figures surrounded by objectified nude female muses in art. Where’s Artemesia with her Judith when you need it? That is all.

          • Kirsten, if you read this blog, now is the time to comment. I know you want to + I know you agree with me!

          • operarose, thanks for your thought-provoking comments. Enlightening exercise for me to look at this photoshoot from different points of view, and how it might or might not be perceived as sexist, depending on the POV and the presumed intentions of all participants: photographer, art director, Rob, models, male readers, female readers, LTR readers . . . .

          • @operarose loved your point of view, interesting

          • Opera your insight on the fans throwing themselves at HHH is interesting. Still not sexist for me, guess i see the world in a kind of unisex equalitarian way. For instance if he was a gay icon and was posing for a gay magazine, the same thing would still have projected him as a pretentious guy snobbing the fans, but there couldn’t be a sexist issue. But hey, everybody has a diff. point of view, and that’s what makes things interesting. so thanks for posting your opinion.

          • P.S. I was not being serious with my shout-out to KStew. Thumbs downs were entirely not necessary there! Or maybe it *was* Kirsten and she didn’t like the attention.

        • MP i’m sure in your/our mature educated societies women aren’t victims anymore but belive me there are some places where still they are. but on the other hand those women don’t have to worry about Does Rob really hates vaginas or are these photos sexist.
          so i guess it’s win /win situation

          • Che, I get what you’re saying and I understand your sensitivities. The good news is that in most of those repressive cultures/societies/counties/whatever, magazines such as Details aren’t allowed.

        • I’m so late chiming in today. Arrrgh! Server crashed at the office and iPhone went haywire.
          Anyway, Min, I agree with you 100%. I found the article hilar. I thoroughly enjoyed Rob’s jesting.
          As for the photos, sexism didn’t even occur to me when I saw them. I didn’t get a POV that was sexist, I thought of it as more kink/fetish (perhaps I’m reading too much FFs).
          I objectify Rob (big in Japan?) so I really have no room to complain here.

          • Jules you’re hilarious. when I saw your name, that’s the first thing that came in my mind. Sing with me ‘Big in Japan…”

          • Haha! Min, I’m singing hun, I’m singing…

    • I wouldn’t call the pictures trashy. John Waters is trashy, (and I love him) but I don’t think that’s what these pics are. And I wouldn’t mind seeing Rob in a JW movie. I think waaaaay too much significance is being placed on this photoshoot/article-they’re pretty pics of a pretty man, they will not hurt his career, and the world won’t stop stop turning.

      That’s just my two cents. I guess I just don’t get ruffled that easily.

      • i’m with you all the way

  17. Am I the only one who is in L.O.V.E. with the white jacket picture? Maybe it’s the coloring of the ocean and what not. He’s gorge.

    Now, Everyone knows I think Rob is beautiful. (Seriously. Like, Tweed serious. My mom sent me a virtual valentine with Rob on it.) But lately, I’ve been thinking that Rob may be too skinny for my liking. I like my men with a little more “meat” on them (twss). I like boys built more like…oh, Kellan (*le sigh*). However, this may stem from the fact that my best friends are a bunch of hockey players, so I’m into bigger dudes.

    Whatever. I’d still lick him.

  18. as my English is poor it took me a minute to understand that “on” and “in” aren’t the same and Kristin’s imagination is not that wild..damn the first minute was better.

  19. So my def.last words…I hope, conclusion!

    the interview:
    vomit Rob…all good and nothing really new..

    jenny….all lame and manipulating with “kaleidoscopical brain/eyes..whateva” read..odd diseases, odd elephant stories, odd Rob descriptions, odd “flow” = the cabinett of Dr.Rob or so…..so to say…she makes him sound “weird” at all and not in a nice way….like a bad commercial that remains in my brain, because nobody can put the finger on the point= I don’t like that kind of writing.

    the shoot
    already all said, no art, but some outtakes are good, the video= HOT!,

    the style
    not mine, but some white pants work on HIM, because on Rob works all

    the end!!

    • LOL, well according to my husband it’s very artistic! He sure enjoyed all the naked women!

      • I’m sure of that! 🙂

        • He put it in his calendar, he is definitely getting a copy of that magazine. LOL. I said whatever. I’ll cut out Rob’s pics and frame them(sans the naked women).

          • Don’t frame HIM..Details did it already!lol

          • LOL RG! You’re too funny!

          • But I want him in my own special frame!!!! *stomps foot*

      • Men…. 😛

  20. Hahahahahaha I love you girls, Moon and UC! 🙂
    It was great~!!!

  21. I’m so late to the game, I feel I have nothing really to add.

    I don’t fault Rob for it, but I didn’t love this interview. Rob’s Rob – his comments didn’t surprise or offend me. The interviewer did. I realize she’s a screenwriter and not a reporting journalist but she inserted her cool self entirely too much into the narrative of this story. You’d think she was his best pal according to the story, and we all know TomStu’s having none of it.

    The photos were super sexy, IMO. Especially the photof of him and the L’eggs model on the terrace. His index finger grazing her waist was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. Likewise for the bathroom photos. White trousers Rob is a win. On the video, you can see if you pause it (and I did), there is one of him sitting on the toilet with a towel and it’s unbelievably sexy.

    FTR, I think The Font is about the most awesome guy ever and I agree with his sentiments wholeheartedly. I came away from reading this article with a tinge of sadness. Rob seems like a guy whose own brain will prevent his full enjoyment of his circumstances.

  22. O m gee, I don’t even know where to begin! I love this post, I’m still laughing! Lmao!

    That green toilet, haha, I thought of the same thing. The 1st time I saw it though I thought it was just some random chair, then later on I saw the toilet paper!

    You know I laughed so hard when I saw that Legg’s comment because that pic really looked ridiculous to me! Amen on the control top, those are rather uncomfortable though, spanx are much better! Haha.

    Sorry for my long comment, before I forget, I just want to say I adore Rob even more. He funny, witty and self-deprecating, I love it! Oh and did I mention HOT? 😉

    • SB, that’s not a long comment! That’s a short one in my book! (But I had a quiet day at work and I write too much) 😉 And HOT Rob all the way, yes please.

      • Oh hey there, I got your email. I’ll write as soon as I can, I’m just so busy lately with my daughter.

        I’m just starting to go over the comments, I don’t think I can read them all. How are you?

        I don’t care for Rob’s clothes in that photoshoot, esp the white pants! We have a saying here in the US, no white after Labor day! But we know of course Rob prolly didn’t pick out those clothes. Sometimes I’d rather just see him in his ratty old clothes, so much more sexy.

        • I’m fine SB, how are you? Please take your time with the mail. First things first. And yes, Rob being himself is the most sexy.

  23. Details shoot pocket Rob style:

    http://pics.livejournal.com/dylan_weir/pic/0000z6f1/

    • HAHAHAHAHAHA I think I died again!

  24. I just wrote a letter to UC and Moon because tomorrow is my very personal Holiday!!! I hope they get it in time and manage to plan it in between even though I think I am waaaaaaaaay to late… 😦

    Can somebody shoot me? j/k

    • hey bleriana i think i know your personal holiday. this is the second year right.
      what to say.. happy anniversary:)i remember the declaration, watched it live

      • Yay! You know what I am talking about.
        And yes it is the 2nd anniversary… but the Kosovarians count it as the 3rd time celebrating you know 😉
        It’s such a big deal and me=so excited and heading to Munich to celebrate tomorrows…

        • i’m glad u’r happy. i may watch RTK to get to mode too.
          urime:D:D:D

  25. Those Models are SOOOOO Lucky;)lol.Though Im jealous if you think about it they had to work really hard Robert is so funny I bet he kept cracking jokes:Dlol

  26. I’d really like to give a legend/ class act the last word. My last word before I fall asleep, it was a lovely day with all you clever girls! Saw this yesterday, and the last bit just reminded me of Rob, wonderful, love the spirit of what Mr Newman says. It puts everything in perspective. It’s about the answer between 0.43 and 0.55. Sweet Robdreams to all of you!

    • absolutely legend
      R.I.P

    • I really liked Paul Newman, he was a beautiful man and a wonderful actor.

  27. UC & Moon
    Thanks for being that generous and showing us a lot of yourselves. Since you were there, hope you can give us inside info on what happened at the photoshoot. So did he have a hard on? Did he fell asleep? And how was the sex?
    Thank you in advance,
    Me

    • oops sorry for that double post+the errors, really need to check my E grammar. ALso need an edit button.

  28. UC & Moon
    Thanks for being that generous and showing us a lot of yourselves. Since you were there, hope you can give us inside info on what happened at the photoshoot. So did he have a hard on? Did he fall asleep? And how was the sex?
    Thank you in advance,
    Me

    • Both get “thumbs up”. It was that good. It was that good.

  29. Hi, I have been entertained by this blog for some time now, but have hesitated to leave any posts, because I am always given such grief for my Robsessed Ways!!! But, I know I am in good company and will not be given a hard time for being honest about my Rob-Thoughts! I thank everyone for all the laughs…it’s so good for my sol!

    Minuit Passe, you are a hoot! I always look forward to your comments!

    Depending on where I am when I am reading, if I let out a loud laugh…I get some funny looks, but I don’t care!

    I read the Details magazine and I have to say the best interview with Rob, by far…he shows a deeper quality of a true artist…and the pic of him on the bathroom floor with the chick in the tub, I like that one the best! Something about Rob on the floor, sprawled out…just does something to me….Oooooo…

    • so glad you commented! Welcome

    • Agree with everything you said..My favorite pic of rob is also the one on the bathroom floor with the white pants. So..freakin…sexay…
      I love LTR to bits ❤ 🙂

    • well, then i’ll look forward to your comments! get out of the lurkdom for good!

  30. “. I’d like nothing more than to have a beer or six with him just to have the opportunity to pick the brain of a man whose best day of his life involved getting gummed by an elephant.”
    LOL!! Fabulous one dears, thank you for making me snort coffee out of my nose this morning (in a damn good way). Ahhh, I love a good Rob feature/interview dissection !

  31. Gahhh some of you people aim pretty high Id be happy to just dance with Rob and no Im not saying I dont want to sleep with him Im just saying Im aiming alot lower.Hmmm the thing I want to do to Rob?OOOooo I want to take off his shirt and rub my hands down his chest and kiss him with more pattion then Kristen Stewart or Emilie De Ravin ever could;)OOOooo or I’d go up to him and start sauing “hotpocket!””hotpocket!” maybe he’d take off more than just his jacket*wink**wink*

  32. Gahhhhhhhhh some of you people aim high.I’d be happy to just dance with Rob.Im not saying I dont want to sleep with him Im just saying I aim alot lower.Hmmmm what do I want to do to Rob?…;)OOOooo I want to take off his shirt and rub my hands down his sexy muscular chest and kiss him more pattionantly then Kristen Stewart or Emilie De Ravin ever could!HA HA.xD
    OOOooo or I’d just go up to him and keep saying “hotpockets!””hotpockets!”maybe he’d take more than just his jacket off*wink wink*

  33. Late to say this was BRILLS and so worth the wait!

  34. Love the 4th photo…the look on his angel’s face is beyond anything I’ve ever seen. That one made my heart skip a beat!

    Also, white pants have never looked so good! I see the trend starting….
    ATT Men AKA (Rob wannabe’s): Don’t even go there..It’s not gonna happen!

    Dear Rob,

    Really?
    Really really?
    Are you allergic to vaginas? And do you really hate them?

    Can I just see what that does to you?….
    .
    .
    .
    .

  35. […] Robert Pattinson in Details and we play some Hardball! Dear Rob, LTR-ers, and crazy Robsessed fans, This weekend images from Rob’s Details spread and a corresponding […] […]

  36. oh my, I’m late once more because the last two days I’ve spent my little free time working precisely on Details stuff for a new vid. But this post is beyond great, one of the best moments I’ve spent long ago. I almost fell off my chair laughing so many times: the office moment, the cooties thing, The Font’s depressed reaction, Brooke’s scientific chart, each & every Kristin’s comment… I don’t know, each & every single paragraph was priceless!!!! Thank YOU so much for one of the most hilarious post I’ve EVA read!!!!!!!! you girls are GENIUS!!

    *lots of love & tons of admiration* to UC, Moon and everyone at LTR!!

    PS: hmmm don’t know whether you mind I include the link to this post on the description of my last vid, wich is about Details. I look forward to your reply, but whatever you decide will be ok for me :))))

  37. PODCAST!!!! YAYYAYYAY!!!!
    so excited.

  38. […] two are here. Say, you do look familiar. Have we met before? Put on these blindfolds I got from the Detail’s shoot, I just want to try one thing. (countdown to flight: 4 hours 59 minutes) UC: Nope, that […]


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