Posted by: themoonisdown | February 16, 2010

Robert Pattinson in Details and we play some Hardball!

Oh here they go again...

Dear Rob, LTR-ers, and crazy Robsessed fans,

This weekend images from Rob’s Details spread and a corresponding interview/article leaked (TWSS) all over the interwebs and aroused, titillated and bewildered us all so we felt it was necessary to again bring in a panel of trusted experts to decipher the interview as well as break down the images. That’s right it’s time to play some HARDBALL! Yes, this is the LTR/LTR version of our very own cable news show so sit back and relax as we bring you all the facts, reactions and advice on:

HARDBALL with Moon and UC

Good evening and welcome to this edition of Hardball on Tuesday, February 16, 2010. And here’s what we know about Rob’s Details Magazine spread…

Moon: The Facts are as such: Jenny Lumet interviewed/hung out and got plastered with Rob on a couple occasions and wrote a sorta outsiders perspective/interview which is accompanied with a risque photoshoot of Rob looking bored with two nude models in some titillating positions.

Right, left, right, left, where am I looking?!

UC: How many times are you going to say “titillating?”

Moon: At least 10 more times. And I’ll giggle each time. FYI.

UC: Fine. As long as I can say “perv” a lot.

Moon: DONE! So let’s address the elephant (heh) in the room first so we can get the speculation out of the way and get on with the facts. So you may have been wondering and yes clearly Details called us up at the LTR/LTT remote headquarters (the M&S men’s underwear dept) and asked if we could offer our services as nude fetish models for Rob’s Details photoshoot. Certainly we were very busy, what with weighing the advantages of briefs vs boxers and taking frequent Slurpee breaks at the 7/11 next door but who are we to deny the world of art and ROB our services? So we agreed.

UC: Whew, I’m glad that’s outta the way. Imagine our surprise when we saw the good folks at details left off the red ribbons over our eyes! It was tres embarrassing to say the least. Now you’ve seen ALL of us and we feel closer to our audience and with that said let’s go to our panel of esteemed guests, Rob lovers, bloggers, h00rs and and Elephant experts for their reactions…Coming to us live from the busy “Shucks” Oyster Bar in the Midwest, USA is pal and original forum mod, Kristin! Hi Kristin can you give us your thoughts on Rob’s Details spread?

Smooth as Tom Stu...

Kristin: WHAT?! AM I ON?! Wait guys I gotta fresh drink… OH I’M ON?! HEY GUUUYYYSssss, I’m reporting live right now from “Shucks” Oyster bar where I’ve had about 5 Grey Goose and Crans courtesy of the good folks at “Shucks” and all I can say is I’m looking at the images now and picturing him with his finger on MY ass—

Moon: UH THANK YOU Kristin! Very personal on-the-scene reporting, we’ll come back to you later to weigh in. Oh wait, we’ve got breaking news from Tiffanized who has intercepted texts between Rob and Kristen on the day of the photoshoot. Let’s go to Tiffanized

Tiffanized: Hi Moon! A source close to the couple (and my friend at the phone company) has just contacted me with information I think you’ll find these texts illuminating to what happened the day of the photoshoot between Rob and Kristen Stewart
K: R the models pretty?
R: No.
K: R u lying?
R: No.
K: What r they wearing?
R: Nothing
K: ??
R: I ment nothing nice.  I hit send 2 fast
K: Do u have 2 touch them?
R: Just a little
K: I can’t wait 2 c the pics

Follow the cut to hear some panelists, The Font makes an appearance and a sneak peek inside of LTT/LTR headquarters

Our specials include the Lobster bisque and white dinner jackets

: Thanks Tiffanized sounds like Rob better burn every copy of this magazine before she sees it. With that in mind let’s take a closer look at some of these pictures… Here we have Rob in his white suit jacket and all I can think is he opened his own seafood restaurant on the coast and is acting as the maitre d during his down time

UC: he’s telling us about the freshly caught scallops

Lula: At Rob’s Seafood restaurant all clothing is designed by Geoffrey Beene

She's got LEGGS she know's how to use them

Moon: And of course he hired us as the waitresses and our uniform is provided by LEGGS. Let’s go to Lula our resident Fashion and panty hose expert, can you tell us if these are Control Top or Sandal Toe?

Lula: Definitely control top, notice how it holds her in down south while lifting. We’re most definitely dealing with some sort of control panel.

Moon: Ah yes, I can see it now… Illuminating as always Lula, this is good to know for our readers future purchases. Thank you for your expert opinion. UC?

UC: Well, now that the cats outta the bag and everyone knows we are the models in this shoot we might as well let everyone know that part of this photoshoot was shot in the LTT/LTR headquarters.

Just another day at the office

Moon: Yea it was quite easy because they just told us to go about our normal routine… In the morning we make out, near our oil painting  of Rob

UC: Then we blog and drink scotch and pee in that wicker toliet

It's business time

Moon: Then around lunch Rob just shows up to hang out and watch you bone me from behind while he tries to look disinterested. That is actually a picture of our daily staff meeting.

UC: Right after Rob had a meeting with the Mafia and stole these hot shoes for us.

Moon: Too bad he stole the clown ones for himself

Moon: Let’s get back to the interview… Jenny Lumet writes about Rob that… “Complete strangers want to fuck you, shoot you, be you, buy you, sell you, run their fingers through your hair, watch you have sex, hear you pee, eat chips with you, and kidnap you and stuff you in the trunk of their car….” And I ask you panelists if given the opportunity what would you want to do to Rob or make him do?

UC: I’d like to hear him pee, possibly IN my trunk.

Moon: Uh alright. I’m glad I’m not the poor person who has to clean out your trunk at the car wash next time you go in for a hose down. How about you Kristin… can you hear me Kristin?

Kristin: CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!! I’m ON?? HEY EVERYONE we’re back at Shucks and I want Rob with his finger on MY ass—

UC: ALRIGHT Kristin, yes we get that you want to have Rob touches your bootay. Thank you and have another shot for us, we’ll come back to you in a bit hopefully after you’ve come up with some some new commentary.

Moon: Moving right along lets bring in our next panelist and marketing/advertising expert, BrookeLockhart. Brooke can you let us in on how the public is handling this Details photoshoot with Rob?

A very scientific chart (click to enlarge)

Brooke: When I’m not a key Hardball panelist, I am working in advertising and marketing, where I need to keep a pulse on general market behavior and attitude. I’ve brought a chart to illustrate recent changes in behavior due to the release of these photos and Rob’s interview. Let’s go to the chart, shall we?

UC: Folks, you’ll see that to your left on the screen…

Brooke: As you can see… dammit who included me in this chart!?

Moon: Sorry Brooke, looks like your research team is still hungover from the weekend. Let’s switch gears and talk about the real topic everyone’s been buzzing about Rob’s allergy to the female lady business. Here’s what he had to say…

“I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina. But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn’t exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover.”

Ew is that a vagina and a wicker toliet? Where's my Benedryl?

UC: Clearly he didn’t know how to answer because he really wanted to say “UC & Moon made me think about doing dirty things against that wicker toilet but I probably shouldn’t say that out loud.”

Moon: Obviously! I mean he didn’t want to make KStew jealous or anything. Let’s go to one of our resident male contributor, podcast (coming soon!) panelist and red blooded dude: The Font! What’s your take on Rob’s “allergy?”

The Font: Leave it to Rob Pattinson to make naked women unappealing.

Moon: Tell us Font as a straight guy can you really say you’re “allergic to vagina?”

Vagina?? No thanks!

The Font: He’s a weird dude. But you can’t be normal and be Rob Pattinson. He is a mess of self-loathing. I am getting kind of depressed reading this.

Moon: Reading this, he seems like a sad clown drunk. Like instead of being happy and hugging people and wanting to dance he just wants to “get all deep n shit and talk about life, bro!”

The Font: oh yeah dude. like, i kind of just want to buy him a beer and tell him that it’s all gonna be okay. ‘buck up kid. life isn’t all a morass of existential milieu’ he wants to be understood. but no one can understand him. It’s kind of sad, actually.

Moon: So you’re saying he’s an island unto himself?

The Font: No, he’s not. If he was an island, he’d be a badass motherfucker. like, if he is who he thinks he is, he wouldn’t be doing an interview with details magazine. His idol should be Dicaprio. like, that’s one of the only guys to go from heartthrob to serious actor and he didn’t do it by talking about being in love with his dog or whatever. like, respect the process. You’re an actor to express your humanity to the world. That’s where you’re supposed to do it. Not in magazine interviews. Pattinson’s a huge star. He should have more control over his image than this. You can’t not play the game at all. By not playing, you’re still playing.

Moon: Wise, wise words T.F. I’m sure Rob is having an epiphany in whatever trailer he’s reading this in now on the set of Bel Ami. Rob if you’re listening to this edition of Hardball and like what you hear, tune in to our Podcast which will be released soon!

All this vagine, so little time...

UC: Dare we go back to Kristin at the raging party at Shucks? Ok, Kristin are you there do you want to weigh in on Rob’s hate of the vah-jay-jay?

Kristin: *Yelling to crowd* He hates vagina!!!! We knew it! ROBSTU love! You want to Rock Tom Stu’s boat and we’ve known it all along.

Moon: Wait, Kristin, Rob’s not actually HERE with us in the studio… Kristin… ok, nevermind. Let’s go to Arrested Development lover and soul mate HeyyyBrother. HB tell us your thoughts…

HeyyyBrother: Assuming he and Kristen are indeed together, this could also totally explain Kristen’s surliness. I mean… we’re all assuming that Rob is a tiger in the bedroom, but what if he’s a confused disaster? What if, at the age of 23, he still fumbles with bra clasps for 20 minutes? What if he really does think “I’ll Make Love To You” is the best smexin’ music of all time (OF ALL TIME)? Couple sexual frustration with finding out that your boyfriend has announced to the world that he’s only ever connected emotionally with his dog (meaning you, a human who can actually use words couldn’t live up to that relationship), and I think we’d all come off a little grouchy.

Is that MotownPhilly?! TURN THAT SHIT UP! That's my jam!

Moon: Wait, you’re saying Boyz II Men ISN’T the best sexy times music all of all time?? Color me surprised. So any final thoughts? What did you take away from this interview with Rob? HeyyyBrother why don’t you go first…

HeyyyBrother: So basically, I came away from this article looking at Rob as a little more Andy from 40 Year Old Virgin (except Rob might also have A.D.D.), and a little less Paul the hot French dude from Unfaithful. But the awkward is endearing, and his pretty face makes up for everything. I’d like nothing more than to have a beer or six with him just to have the opportunity to pick the brain of a man whose best day of his life involved getting gummed by an elephant. Except taking advantage of him… that I might like more.

Moon: Enlightening HB, enlightening. I still gotta say that Boyz II Men is all up in my slow jams with Rob mix. But oh well, let’s go to Brookelockhart for her final thoughts, Brooke?

Look into my eyessssss you are getting sleepy... when you awake you will respect me!

Brooke: It saddens me that we, as a fandom, were too late to save Rob.  The Respect Rob campaign did little to help Rob’s emotional stability as evident by Rob’s mental digression to that  a six year old boy. Look at the evidence in the article, Rob hates vaginas. What’s another word for vagina? Cooter. What sounds just like Cooter? Cooties. Rob thinks girls have cooties!!! If only just a few more of us took pictures of ourselves with our hands in front of our faces, Rob would not be getting his jollies by the trunk of an elephant, but that of the sexy naked models rubbing themselves upon his body. Rob, on behalf of the fandom, we are truly sorry. To try to make it up to you, I have publicly shamed all the bloggers that posted the leaked Eclipse Photos

Moon: Thank you Brooke! Any final thoughts Kristin? Kristin… KRISTIN!!!!!!!!


Moon: Yes, thank you Kristin. Deep thoughts. And our thanks to Shucks for hosting you. Tell them to invoice us the damage you did at the bar. We’ll put it on Rob’s card. Wow folks, and with that another Hardball draws to a close. We’ve learned a lot, we’ve SHOWN you a lot of ourselves and have placed orders for new control top panty hose. We want to give special thanks to all our panelists, wedding dress wearer and oyster lover: Kristin, Volvo aficionado: Tiffanized, chart maker and Koolaid hater: Brooke Lockart, sick aunt lover: The Font and PT Loser dealer: HeyyyBrother!!!!!!! Thank you all for your amazing commentary and we look forward to next time!

Staff meeting time!
Moon and UC

So did you make it through to the end. We said epic and we meant it! Thoughts? Favorite pictures? Did you ever think you’d see that much of Moon and UC? And by much we mean our lady business?

Source: Robsessed and Details

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter


  1. Yay!
    B is back and healthy and ready to discuss the Detail interview!!

    • Glad your feeling better Bleriana!

      • Yeah finally. Thanks to everyone for their kind words.
        I seriously felt bad shutting down the computer yesterday but it had to be done because I didn’t want for anything in the world to miss today’s post. Yay!
        And sorry for being a bitch yesterday… but to my defence:
        1. I was sick (thus my brain did not function the way it’s supposed to)
        2. I think I kinda mixed up the comments
        3. I am kinda in Rob-overload-mode (see no.1)

        Let the comments and opinions roll ladies!!

        • ok… whoever thumbs me down for apologizing: Shame on you. That’s all 😉


    • Same here!

  2. This post looks EPIC! Cannot wait to read ♥ ♥ 🙂

    • I ♥ that you mentioned M&S……now, don’t forget that pants are trousers and an elevator is a lift!!


  3. Ok I’ll be blunt please don’t take offence – but it’s half term and I have 2 kids I don’t have time or the inclination read or write a 5 paragraph synopsis of the ins/outs, if/buts, up/downs behind the Details interview – I have read Moon and UC’s opinion ( Thanks guys for keepin it real !!!) and lets face it it’s the only one that matters even Rob knows that, that’s why he’s here today – Hey Rob How you doin`

    The other day on LTT they were writing Haiku (recristened Twiku) with much hilarity 3-line poetry with 3/5/3 syllables. I thought that’s for me it’s short, it’s time saving, it might not bore your pants off.

    So here is my interpretation of the whole Details Debacle through the medium of Japanese poetry.

    *Cough Cough*

    So Rob Said
    I don’t like the Vaj
    He’s Joking

    In my bath
    Rob, look at me please
    I’d like that

    Yep that just about sums it up for me. Now go do something productive today……. I’ll be at the cinema watching the Princess and the Frog.

  4. Nice thoughts all the way around. I’m still hung up on worrying that Rob has caught a disease by lounging on that green tile floor. Those white pants are v. nice, though.

  5. That was a lot of hilariousness in one spot. Epic is right!

    I don’t really know what I thought of the interview. At first I was kind of floored that he said some of that stuff. But then I thought.. it’s Rob. The word vomit and “deep” conversation is what makes his so lovable!

    Did anyone else get confused at the part about elephants? I pondered it for a few mins, and then gave up and continued reading. Was it just a bad joke..?

    Anyway. This post was so much win, so thanks girls! And I love the chart!

    • I didn’t get the elephant comment either. I was like: Wtf? the whole time…
      Wasn’t he basically telling them that the elephant tried to eat him or something like that? I really didn’t get it. On the other side english is not my first language so yeah…

      • Actually, I’ve asked a friend of me who has worked with elephants at a big zoo if an elephant would take somebody in their mouth. It IS possible, after many hours of training. Like to put one’s head in the elephant’s mouth, like you sometimes with lions.

        But not really like Rob describes. Or maybe this is one particulary gifted, ready to be Oscar nominated movie elephant.He could’ve just embellished it a little though…Just a little…

        My theory is that he maybe meant that he got picked with the trump, that could be first date material for a trained elephant. He could’ve gotten confused, he’s not that good with body parts. Ey Rob?
        That’s what my friend said anyway. But who knows what can happen in Rob’s world?

        Maybe elephant lady thought he looked that good that she wanted to eat him right there, right then.

        Like who hasn’t had that thought? LOL. Only an elephant could actually do it…But I think she just quitted smoking and decided that eating Rob would just be too much, all the nicotine and such.

        So glad you brought this up, had been waiting with this till today’s post, haha!

        • The thing that comes to my mind when you said she wanted to eat him right then and there:

          Boa – I’ll eat you up

          This song is made for Rob!!!

        • Yes, jinx! ‘He could’ve just embellished it a little though…Just a little…’ I agree – maybe he’s taking lesson’s from Bobo (Edge says there’s a bit of truth in Bono’s stories…..somewhere- like how I worked in U2, again????).

          (see below for my 2 other comments about elephants). The keepers would never allowed him to be picked up, let alone upside down in the elephant’s mouth, They probably wouldn’t have allowed the elephant to mouth him too much either.

          On the other hand if there is a ‘bit of truth’ there, then I think that this particular elephant has exquisite taste for elephant-handling, for trunk-feeling him up, and for mouthing him (wow, that sounds dirty).

          • That’s supposed to be Bono, of course

          • I guess it’s true that elephants like peppermint and so the elephant didn’t know Rob..all what HE has in his pockets are crumbs of tobacco!

          • Bono’s just the Alpha and the Omega. You can refer to him for all situations!

            And you’re so right about that. Bono’s always making things up as he goes as well, hahaha. Like he had this little pre-song anecdote about Edge being an alien who has landed with his little spaceship. Going on about that for like minutes.

            Somehow I’ve got a feeling that these two would get along fine…

            And yeah, I’m sure that elephant manhandled him. She liked what she saw and got herself a little something something. LOL. But the best thing is that if you read comments, on general sites as well. that everybody’s saying how they love the elephant story. It’s hilarious that everyone believes him. He’s a gifted story teller. I just wonder if there’s a national elephant trainer’s association which will come forward to demand the truth. Because now all of a sudden everyone wants to get mouthwashed by an elephant…;-)

          • Robgirl, she just quit the ciggies and Rob’s smell was just too tempting. Rob was just one giant human cigarette to her.
            No love, just addiction. And there Rob is, talking about true love.
            And she’s already on the lookout for another smoker…

            (Then again it was maybe her maternal instinct kicking in, she just wanted to give him a good rinse, like a big loving hunk of elephant washing machine. *making myself giggle here, sad case I am*)

            So many theories, so little truth. 🙂

          • ok how did we get from Rob-talk to Bono-talk? 😛

          • I actually like the elephant story, I had a similar experience once., well minus the mouth thing..and elephants are beautiful animals

          • Oh yeah, love the story as well, don’t get me wrong. But RG lik you said, minus the moutwashing. They are great animals. And Rob indeed seems an animal lover which makes me love him more!!! It’s totally cute that it was the best day of his life, mouthwashing or not!

            And sorry for the Bono talk. That was OT. 😉

          • Don’t get me wrong- its an entertaining story.

          • Robgirl, I agree, elephants are my fav. animals. Once had the good look to be about 5ft away from a three week old baby elephant in India….it was the most amazing experience.

          • what the hell’s is wrong with me today…..LUCK no LOOK!!!!! Double Doh!!!!!

          • Rob, elephants and U2 all in the same post. I may just have a coronary right here and now!
            Drsaka, Cath, I’m thinking you are the Alpha and the Omega, and somehow I’ve got a feeling that us three would get along fine!!!

          • Vic, we aim to please and that’s the fun of the free-wheeling association that’s a small part of LTR.

          • Love back to you Abs!

            Yeah, isn’t it the greatest combination of subjects???

            Totally blushing here because of the Alpha and Omega comment!

            (But we all secretly know Rob’s the A&O of all ;-))

          • I love Bobo! 😉

          • Moon- maybe I thought that Bobo was another elephant- not sure.

          • 🙂

          • Bobo the little Irish elephant, bwahaha, I ❤ him too. He rocks. 😉

      • Yaeh, i really like that story with an elephant. Rob stories are sometimes so surreal like the one with the hologram buddah in his had or something like that, (it is somewhere on youtube).He is really one of the kind, and he is an animal lover. You just cannot love him 🙂

        • right…all that can happen in Rob’s world….lol (thx Cath..hilar!)

        • Lily, I just had to YouTube that. BEST ROB STORY EVER. The man has the most amazing imagination.

          • Cath, if you’re on the forum can you PM me that link – I can’t open youtube on the blog for some reason.

          • THIS! THIS! This is why we love him so. I really don’t care if the story is true or not, because the fact that he told that story at all is more mind blowing than it’s veracity.

            Follow my logic:

            If true… That he can be so transparent and self deprecating at the same time is effing hawt!

            If untrue… That he can be so concretely creative and bold in his lie is a hell of a turn on. Either way, I’m taking one for the team.

        • Cath,
          I remember seeing this one a few weeks ago…and I do have to say my initial reaction was WTF is this guy on!….Do you think he believes his own stories or do you think he’s just dicking with the interviewer…sometimes It’s hard to tell if he’s being serious or not. Completely mad, mad, mad story…….weirdly Rob. You’ve just got to luv him!

          • “Do you think he believes his own stories ?” love that
            i think that for liars.people who talks a lot ,nags a lot usually lies or loves to add someting to their stories to make more interesting.
            belive me i know some i have a lot experience.
            but noo i’m not saying he lies :D.. as u said sometimes It’s hard to tell if he’s being serious or not.

          • Mine, I’m sure he wasn’t serious here. He was just bored I think. Otherwise that would make him not so funny crazy cuckoo. Or maybe Buddha really took a strange personal interest in the Rob. Which doesn’t seem that strange come to think of it. He’s so enlightened. 😉

          • I don’t think he belives in his stories i think that when he starts to saying something he invents that kind of stories in the same moment. And then it’s like an avalanche, and it’s stops in the most unexpecting way.But i don’t think he lies I’m sure that he has a meeting with the elephant if he is going to play with him/her but it may look a little diffrent in reality he may add a lot to that story. And about this buddah i don’t know, the disappearing of a buddah has something to do with meeting a girl. Then maybe is’t some kind of symbol. Ok, i admit i’m a home grown psychologist so this story bother me since the day i heard it, and i think that cause of that story Rob intrigue me so much.

        • Dear Rob,

          Am glad you never told this story to your school therapist back then.
          (I see a straight jacket in your future. But that’s okay, I see them in my future as well. Let’s make out loony style in a padded room)

          See ya soon,


        • Hi Abs, I’m on the forum, but let’s try it like this at first, I just leave a space between the adress, so you put it together and copy paste. Enjoy watching!


          • yep, that worked. you’re so smart. 😀

            PS – um, weirdest story ever more like it. ???!!!

          • Really weird, it’s kind of genius though that he just came up with that. Like without blinking his eyes. It’s kind of unsettling how great of a ‘liar’ he is, haha.

          • I know, right? It’s like he’s an actor or something!!!!

  6. He’s so pretty.

    • That’s a word I frequently use to describe him…
      Even though I wonder why it changed from sexy too pretty or beautiful… :S

    • SO PRETTY! and the last pic/snapshot from the video..don’t A LOT for me…the colours like a rainbow..the girl…HIM, his legs…….that’s my world! 🙂

    • Yes he is!

  7. So I come into work today…and I get “So Misty….(laughing to self) I hear your BOYFRIEND hates va-jay-jays, you know what that means!”

    Dear Rob,
    Thanks Rob for making those wonderful comments in your interview. I do realize (thanks to RObgirl) that you were boared and you were entertaining yourself by making silly comments. Lucky for you I am SMART enough and love you enough to understand your sarcasm…but WHY do you insist in making your TOMSTU love more evident then out love? WHY?


    P.S. Who is “K” that Rob was texting????? lol

    • Your workmates tease you too?
      My mum and dad started teasing me which is waaay worse believe me.
      My dad insists that he’s gay and my mum says that a man who doesnt like v-jay is not a man…
      My answer: It’s british humor ok? British humor!!!

      • Good one Bleriana!

        • What are you supposed to say when even a damn german newspaper has it on his front side?

    • I loved our little love/hate convo yesterday!
      Wait…your workmates know?

      • I HATED our convo yesterady too…my husband was wondering what I was lughing at all night!

        Yes my peers know about my crush…I brought my pocket Edward to school one day…

        • thumbs up for that!

    • ohh misty.. LOL.. sorry for your colleagues.ignore them
      i’d been through something like that too (but i was just 13 or something)

      • Why is it that everytime somebody says ‘Ignore it/them/her/him…’ I just need to add ‘I do.’ ??

        • maybe u’ve been in this kind of sutiation ( a lot) so u just get an automaticly reaction .yes “do” bleriana “i do” too
          even couple days a go my elder sister said he looks just little better than Juan martin del potro( argentinian tennis player)
          and i was just in shock WTF? i have nothing against him but he is ugly and she says that.. but i just ignored her rather than strangle:)

          • Sometimes it’s better to ignore people. I do… hahahahhaha

            No but my whole family is all over the V-comment and what else am I supposed to do than explain it once and then ignore them?!
            They only want attention anyway… but my attention is for just one person in this world….

      • Well remember I am a teacher, the staff her eis VERY young..I mean I am the oldest (and I am 30) out of the 7 newly hired teachers at this school….plus you know what they about working with kids for so long:: YOU BECOME ONE YOURSELF!!

        • ohh misty i didn’t mean anythig bad.i just remebered my old days.(since i don’t share my robsession with so many people i have no one to tease me)i was a huge fan of a pop star and every one knew my croush and used to make laugh with me all the time .my relatives,my class mates and even my teachers.those were hard days:)
          i’m sure you’re not that kind of teacher

  8. P.S. Who is “K” that Rob was texting????? lol

    I have no idea, haha.

    • it’s some random girl called Katrina (my middle name…) 😛

    • Karla, the FEMALE elephant actress…lol

      • 🙂
        it was me. My real name start with K

      • That comment made my day Robgirl. Karla, haha, so highly intelligent, she even can text! Rob’s true love.

        • He was upside down in her mouth and it was the happiest day in his life, I mean…can this LOVE be more intimate and cosy????

          • Hmmm, I guess not. Still think that Karla wanted to eat him though. So he could be hers forever. True love elephant style. 😉

          • All I know is that for the Water for Elephants promo I want to see a full spread of Rob with a naked elephant (or two). Maybe he’ll smile in THOSE pics.

            Just got an image of elephants wearing l’eggs panty hose…. control top, of course.

          • @ Xylem
            Witch a NACKED elephant? He’s so going to smile in that… 😛

        • I think Rob is a liar liar pants on fire (or at least master exaggerator) about the extent of the elephant encounter (see below), but it did add a circus-like feel to the interview (not that it wasn’t already loopy).

          • Rob like to create his own world with the stories he tells. Even if that means a sort of oral sex scene with Karla the elephant.

          • @cath

        • Karka can text & was jealous of the nekkid boobies! Me is SURE!!!

          • Karka…lol…or “Karla”

    • I was just wondering who they were IMPLYING that my boyfriend would be name starts with the letter M thank you very much!

  9. YOU girls R.O.C.K.!!!

    1) Tiffanized K/R dialogue!!!
    2)”Vagina, no thanks!” under that outtake
    3) He opened his own sead food restaurant!
    HILARIOUS, I’ll print this out and attach it to my Robfangirlbook (whateverthatis….lol)
    4) The video and the outtakes….to lick!

    Dear Mrs.Lumet
    you like odd diseases…know what?
    I don’t care!

    Dear Rob
    your brain is sooo inspiring….
    your ass as well
    I love that!

    • I loved that you attached ‘your ass aswell’ because that is sooo true…

    • Rob’s got an ass???

      • YES! a very fine one 🙂

        • 2nd that!

        • OK, I believe you. Come on Rob, show us some booty…;-)

    • Robgirl, you mean we SUCk not Rock!!!! get with it girly!!!

      • well misty I needed exactly 2 min to get your joke…lol..that SUCKS!

        • And now that you got it can you explain it to me?

  10. I’ve come to the conclusion that the folks over at Summit are geniuses! After staring at the “leaked” Eclipse photos on Sunday, I found myself saying, “What Details interview?”

    That was a brilliant bit of damage control.

    As for the interview, eh, I think Rob’s just full of shit 🙂 !

  11. Hey Jess, the elephant ref was in regards to his new project “Water for elephants” – excellent book by the way – a non twi highlight in 09 for me. and i’m thrilled to know Rob is playing the main man – i can so picture him doing it. (funny to note – characters name in ‘Jacob”) Anyway in summary Rob is hot, i love his word vomit…and i’m not sure about the miami vice jacket …

    • Hi, can you give the link on the book? If there’s any

    • MIAMI VICE…haha..that was my first thought as well! Photoshopped-Miami-Vice-Rob promoting seagulls or so.. 🙂

    • Just re-read Water for Elephants because I love that book. Yeah, main character’s name is Jacob and I thought it was funny that his roommate at Cornell while he was going to vet school was Edward…

  12. OMG…. you guys have no idea how badly I’ve needed a laugh after these last few days. Thank you so much for always making my morning a little brighter.

  13. The Font was right on with the following:

    “His idol should be Dicaprio. like, that’s one of the only guys to go from heartthrob to serious actor and he didn’t do it by talking about being in love with his dog or whatever. like, respect the process. You’re an actor to express your humanity to the world. That’s where you’re supposed to do it. Not in magazine interviews. Pattinson’s a huge star. He should have more control over his image than this. You can’t not play the game at all. By not playing, you’re still playing.”

    BUT, then again Rob’s NOT DiCaprio, he’s quite unique and I think he’ll land on his feet.

    But I was just thinking that, because I read the recent interview yesterday Roger Ebert had on his site with DiCaprio. And imagine that; it was only about movies and acting.

    (Me no fan of Jenny Lumet. She’s a screenwriter, daughter of Sidney Lumet, legendary director; so Hollywood royalty. She could’ve done better: more talk about acting, less vavajay…But then again this from the woman who wrote ‘Rachel Got Married.’)

  14. Haha, the Leave the Rob campaign –maybe we should all send pics with our hands covering the vay jay jay…or not.

    So I loved the whole thing

    Loved the idea (hot and arty), probably his most ambitious photoshoot, even if some details are a bit of a screw-up.
    – liked the mood, the look&feel, the “porno-chic” (I’m not inventing that term) the Magritte references (LTR-ly speaking loved the porn; fucking hot!!!)
    – didn’t like details : all that white wannabe dandy clothes (ML -the stylist- always sucked with his thing for white suits); would have def. chosen another pic of Rob for the bedroom, he looked like he had nothing to do there, was probably going to play with the elephants.
    – and wow, what was that pic with the sea in the background? Was that irony like in Lachappelle’s pics? So since he’s not ridiculous and his name is not Paris Hilton, they added a flower and coloured the whole thing? What was that? Is he preparing for a role as an Italian gigolo in the Mafia?

    I was never really impressed/touched (no, that’s not what she said) by most of his photoshoots, but this one is different!!!

    Loved THE INTERVIEW, a lot less screw-ups than the pics
    Liked the editorial angle, approach, the storytelling… the interviewer is a screenwriter so that explains some omissions. But that “invisible-creative-spirit-idea” thing embodied by a medium (the actor) was too much. He was probably thinking of semiotics but the way it’s transcripted is like he’s the new JCVD. A bit surreal.
    As for Rob, I wasn’t surprised of his arty answers particularly for Twilight reasons, plus it fitted the context photshoot+interview with someone he worked with (not a journalist).

    All in one, it’s my fav thing on Rob in print.

    P.S. No, not saying anything about the deseases, the sex-shop, the curry sniffing, all gooood stuff.

    • Honestly you said it all !
      The pic I l really don’t like at all….Rob in FRAME!
      Never put this guy into a frame!
      P.S. The white pants are ugly…but on his legs and kinda WORKS!!

      • The white trews are HOT. Srsly.

        • I agree, not a ‘white’ pant fan, but they so cover his body well 🙂 hating that bloody white jacket though…..sodding horrible picture.

        • Oh yeah

          • I meant oh yeah those trousers are awsome

      • You mean the pic where UC&Moon are having (sex) a conference call with Rob? I liked that one. It’s just the one with the sea that i srsly don’t get.

        • yes, I mean the one with the sea also, again I say a bloody horrible picture!

        • I mean the one with the two nekkid chicks in that ol’room…and the one (outtake?) where the babe is on the floor covered by a plastic thing (s/m ref?) and HE..above with an open mouth, framed again…NO, don’t like them…looks like younger Hugh Hefner..or so

          • yeah that’s the one where he looks like he’s going to play with the elephants

          • yeah..looks like HE was going to eat the

        • I luv the first pic at the top of the post……he seems a little sad though, but it’s still one of my favs, oh, and I luv the shoes [model’s shoes that is] in the pic with his head between the model’s legs and his finger on the other model’s butt…mmmmmm his hands/fingers are so hot!

      • There goes RG about his hips again!

        • YES! I wanna see hips!lol

    • It was a little bit mafia inspired. Don’t generally like white pants. He pulled them off though. But only because he’s Rob! Loved those crazy gangster bw shoes though! Sorry!

      • yes! Roberto Pattinsone with Al Cappone snake-shoes!

      • which ones, the dandy black&white or the crocodile ones? In RL i would never go out with a guy wearing those shoes but I liked the style in that pic, and the dandy shoes.

        • Ha!, no not in RL. I liked those bw dandy ones. Totally missed the crocs…Oh my… Also liked that pic/style.

          • oh, my the crock shoes, i hope that Rob won’t ever wear them in real life, his old school nikes are much better. Oh i hate them so much those are pimps shoes, what’s next?… the furs. They are in Keyne’s style, and everything in Keyne’s style is evil.

    • Where’s southernbelle? helloooo??

      • Robgirl -Hey I am here!!!! I just got back, we had to take my daughter to the children’s hospital for some tests.

        I will read and make my appropriate comment(s).

        *waves to everyone*

        • DO that honi…my email-account gives troubles today… 😦

        • Hi SB,
          Tell me all about it, when u have time.

        • SB hope everything’s fine.

        • SB- I hope everything is well.

  15. “You’re an actor to express your humanity to the world. That’s where you’re supposed to do it. Not in magazine interviews. Pattinson’s a huge star. He should have more control over his image than this. You can’t not play the game at all. By not playing, you’re still playing.”
    “life isn’t all a morass of existential milieu’ he wants to be understood. but no one can understand him. It’s kind of sad, actually.”

    A guy perspective is refreshing and enlightening.

    “The Respect Rob campaign did little to help Rob’s emotional stability as evident by Rob’s mental digression to that a six year old boy.”

    He had admitted that he has the mental stability of a 6 year old in one of Twilight Promo interview.

    LA Times agrees with Rob, they think he’s genius.

    Anyways, I always love your humor and pics caption Girls <333

    • Hahaha just read the LA times link, great 2nd hand reporting!

    • That LA Times piece was good AND funny! Read it as well.
      This one’s funny as well:

      • Cathy
        Absolutly about the only article I came across that tried to add a little perspective to the whole sorry business.

        The Screenwriter (have heard of her before, I think she’s the grandaughter of Leana Horne).

        Thinking about how it was written on the way in to work today, and I’m still thinking it’s a bit pants. It’s like she’s left out the ‘stage direction’ and just given us the script….nothing hangs together coherently. It jumps from one subject to the other with no clear idea about what the hell they may have been talking about prior to any given comment.

        • whoops there’s only half a post there, boss came in and i hit the send button in a panic. Will finish post later….

          sorry Cath got your name wrong….many apologies.

          • Haha, that’s okay Mine! Cath, Cathy, whatever. Yeah, the incoherency was my main feud with it as well. I really feel his humor could have come across better. Just my two cents though.

        • Hi i was thinking about this exact point on my drive into work today. It’s like his interviews need to be written blog style with appropriate inserts like *cocks head to side, raises one eyebrow* so like if we had that kind of direction in an article we would know he’s taking the piss or being sarcastic…cos when we see him being interviewed we get it..sometimes its tricky to see ‘how’ he’s saying it…a bit like emails can be misread with the wrong tone…and yes i agree that the interview jumped around alot and was hard to follow (thatswhatshesaid)..but she could have lampooned him with his sillyness and she didn’t..sort of like she ‘got’ him?

      • I read that too. The comments are hilar

      • Also meant ‘dialogue’ not ‘script’….doh!

  16. Oook that was hilarious! This is my first comment on LTR but I had to say something because this post is full of win. I loved the texting Kristen part haha.

    I loved the Details interview. Maybe its a British thing but I thought it was pretty obvious Rob was joking around. My mum doesn’t like Rob that much but after this interview (I made her read it) she likes him a lot more. He has an odd sense of humour and a brain that never seems to switch off but its very endearing.

    I think the elephant bit is to do with Water for Elephants? The new role he’s up for. I’m assuming he went to visit them and really enjoyed it. I thought the story was sweet lol.

    • hi 🙂 I like your mum!

    • Welcome!

  17. Is that MotownPhilly?! TURN THAT SHIT UP! That’s my jam!

    Lol’d and lol’d again! Thanks ladies and The Font!

  18. the next step is for rob to get nekkid. and the one after that is porn…
    so not long now then!

    • You gave my deepest HOPE a VOICE! thx!

  19. I seriously love the fact that this post does not give the chance to be pro or contra (kinda).
    You can only love how UC and Moon see it…
    Where were you girls when we needed this?


    • thats the way moon and UC “C” it!

      holllaaa sue Sylvester!

      • I wrote you both a letter today because of the holiday tomorrow.
        I really hope you’ll read it in time even though I am waaaaaaaay to late for it…

  20. It looks like Rob is full of the new moon. he is walking paradise. Maybe not but who knows maybe it might to into a dracula hell.

    • Truth! Rob is walking paradise. You certainly have a way with words, bobbygee.

      • ‘Rob is walking paradise’ and gives ‘continuous heartquakes’.

    • “Rob is walking paradise”

      That’s the BEST thing I’ve heard in months!!

      You win today!!


  21. Also read Lainey’s (from laineygossip) view of the Details thing. Considering that she’s always in Rob’s face, this was quite mild and I found myself agreeing with her on some points. She’s on the Jenny bus as well. An excerpt:

    “The article was written by Jenny Lumet. You’d know her from Rachel Getting Married. It was her screenplay. So there’s a neurotic actor, and a neurotic writer, and they get together, and it results in passages like this. Posits Lumet of Pattinson:

    I worry his head is going to explode. He answers questions with questions. Doors open onto more doors. This sometimes leads to trouble with scripts: Since he sees every character’s point of view, he often needs some sort of distillation. The catch is that unless the distillation somehow encompasses every character’s essence, it only causes his imagination to fire more wildly. It’s the kaleidoscope-vision thing. Some people can have the ocean in front of them and just put their big toe in. Rob wants to swim until he drowns, and he’s going to try to drink it all up before he goes under. His striving is a source of worry because he can’t really tell anybody he wants more.” (Whole article here:

    It’s the writer who makes him out to be more deep and angsty than he actually is. Rob himself said so many times before that he tells about everybody everything. No filter there. And if an interviewer just runs along with that, this is what you get. He should still be able to be his own quirky self, but then formulate it such way so that his humor really comes across.

    I don’t want him to come across as an ‘neurotic actor.’ He’s more original than that.

    And at the same time I DO think that he might be an idiot savant in PR! I mean, world wide coverage! Maybe if I had an PR firm I’d be head hunting him. He’d be known as the quirky British fellow…

    • i love lainey! she did a great post on this article

      • I agree. Lainey’s post was on the ball and realistic. And, unfortunately, I agree with the ending statement, something I’ve been considering for a long time now: “Robert Pattinson can’t connect with the pussy.”

  22. […] LTR […]

  23. And before I forget, maybe Rob was also trying to impress Lumet, she’s nice to look at:

    Poor baby, first a naked Moon and UC and then a beautiful lady interviewing you. Life’s rough sometimes…So what if the got his flirt on and talked tropical diseases and elephants. He knows how the charm the women folk! 😉

    • the baby is sweet, naked Moon and UC are HOT, the Jenny NOT…sorry for the rhyme..what do you mean by “flirt”?

      • From Wikipedia:Flirting is a common form of social interaction whereby one person obliquely indicates a romantic or sexual interest towards another. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. It may be one-sided or reciprocated (encouraged) with intentions of getting to know that person on a higher level.


        I was kidding though, I hope so, because if that’s Rob’s ‘Let me charm my way into your pants conversation’, then, ehhhm, he needs to work on that…
        Only a little though. He’s Rob after all!

      • should know…I cannot read! 🙂

        And of the 1000mill.possibilities HOW the atmosphere was during this interview…I think the last in my head is that it was “flirty”…and that sucks, because she almost could write ONE damn line about his beauty!

        She’s maybe the most/best writer out there who will win the Pulitzer Award one day, but I have ZERO respect for her female skillz!Sorry, not politically correct, but need to say that!

        • Yeah, but maybe we should be happy that not every single living breathing female moves in on the Rob. But she did try though, asking him sneakily if he wanted her to walk him to his cab. And then got turned down. Because no trunk, no love. 😉

  24. When I saw the Detail pics and read the article I knew you were going to have fun with it. The pics were kind of artsy fartsy, but any picture of Rob is worth looking at. The article I though was typical Rob with his un-typical comments and soon to be infamous quotes. The elephant part made me happy so I wrote a haiku:

    Elephant purring,
    Rob in elephant’s mouth,
    Peppermints, best day

  25. “Then we blog and drink scotch and pee in that wicker toilet.” I had to run to my own (non-wicker) toilet to prevent ruining my jorts.
    I haven’t chimed in on the whole interview/photoshoot yet – unless you count the “Umms” and “Unghs.” To be honest, I think it’s great. Within context, it does exactly what it should do – make men buy a men’s magazine. Men love boobies. In this photoshoot – there are LOTS of boobies. Better yet, there are no men touching said boobies. Boobies alone sell magazines, but Details was smart enough to get the hottest guy on the planet to not only NOT touch the boobies, but to say he doesn’t like the lady bits. Marketing genius, I say. This will make Rob more popular with the gays than that Techno version of Let Me Sign that he recorded last year. (It will also usher in the era of the hypoallergenic ladybean.)
    In summation: love the pics, love the interview, and LOVE that Rob approves of control top pantyhose.

    • This will make Rob more popular with the gays than that Techno version of Let Me Sign that he recorded last year.

      Hilar!!! ❤

    • BEST comment EVER !!!Kudos!

      • *blushes* I can’t even take credit. That’s all the awesomeness of LTR.

    • i really need a link to the techo version of let me sign… r u serious?

  26. Well… I liked the white pants in the bathroom floor pic.

    And I know that the article said folks would like to hear him pee…

    I think I’d like to SEE him pee in that wicker toilet…

    • Good Lord, can’t believe I said that… lol

      • can’t believe that I second that! 🙂

      • hahaha i’m on the line too
        waitin’ outside the wicker toilet

    • i think you’re not the only one who would like to see him pee.

      • Maybe we should take a poll…

        • Not so sure if we’re already at that stage of our relationship…;-)

          • Yeah… I am not too sure about the peeing too… :S

      • *raises hand* yeah me too

  27. This post has solidified my love for “The Font”! That was so deep and right on it’s ridiculous.

    • Seconded, TF is unexpectedly (but not unwelcome) Tweed Serious!

      • lol he was totally Tweed Serious!!!

  28. Yes, “Karla” tried to text back and crushed the cell phone…
    BTW, Moon & UC, you two beotches are fugHAWT! I’m just sayin’…

    I get the feeling he is bored as fuck and did this interview with that in mind. Now, he is amusing himself with all the collateral damage…

    • That sound sooo like him…

    • He did that to keep twihards at bay 😀

  29. Whew, finally out of lurkdom.

    Just wanna say thank you for the daily doze of laugh and for making me feel soo normal 🙂

    • yay! we brought you out!

      • Yes! You gals are really funny.

        This post is really brilliant.

        I dunno what happened to the rest of my comment, half of it didn’t go. First comment fail! 😦

    • welcome!

  30. Elephants- a massive exaggeration on Rob’s part, IMO. He may have been ‘elephant-handled’ (as opposed to manhandled), but it would never be allowed to go to the extent that he said.

    Elephants do tend to feel around the person with their trunks- so his junk may very well have been felt up by an elephant (admit it, we’re all jealous).

    I’ve asked a friend who is a keeper at a zoo if elephants really do purr. I’ll let you know. And remember from fanfic- vampires can purr (damn you, fanfic- I haven’t said it in many days, just had to).

    • drsaka, jiinx…see a post of mine above, I also had a friend who worked at a zoo and asked her!

      Rob loves to embellish things. He’s a real story teller. He really should look in to writing books later in life. He would kick ass, I think!

    • Best story-teller ever! Especially about the extent of “Karla’s” mouth size, I mean…to put in it upside down a 6.1 man …

      • Right on RG. Right on. Next documentary on Animal Planet:
        Robert Pattinson Talks Elephants. Steve Irwin style.
        And Robert Pattinson starring in the remake of two classics:
        Disney’s Dumbo. But wins Oscar for a role which combines two passions of him: weird afflictions and elephants. And the Oscar Best Actor 2014 goes to:
        Robert Pattinson starring in the remake of:

        • Perfect remake for him! Though we wouldn’t get to see his lovely face!

          • Uhm yeah, thought about that one. Serious downside!
            I already figured The Elephant Man 2 (aka Where Elephant Man finds a miracle cure and turns into the most handsome guy on earth) Problem solved! The pretty can come out to play!

          • The Elephant Man-the sequel! Why didn’t anyone think of that? (doesn’t he die at the end? I just remember being incredibly depressed watching the movie).

            I hope that Rob isn’t considering an ‘I’ve got a rare disease’ movie with his suddenly stated interest in infectious and odd diseases. Unless its a remake of the awesomely cheesy 70’s TV movie, ‘Boy in the Bubble’ originally starring John Travolta (not the not-good, sort of offensive remake with Jake G.).

            If he is, maybe its a trek through the Amazon or Southeast Asia (great places to pick up parasites) or a remake of “Stanely and Livingstone, 1939 (btw- not Jessica) and he can play Spencer Tracy’s part.

            This interest of his might just be a professional one!

          • PS- no email request for a date to discuss infectious diseases yet. 😦

            My brilliant strategy is not working.

          • Rob’s like totally planning his move, drsaka…
            And he’s still not over his elephant love. And just a little intimidated by your awesome knowledge of the subject, he has to read up…

            But, good things come to those who wait. And you know he’s now totally in hiding on the BA set waiting till this Details things blows over. He’s totally getting teased on set about the allergy thing…;-)

          • Cath- now I’m not sure if I want to be ‘second’ after an elephant! What if Karla had better skillz (ie the mouthing and the trunk touching) than me??? Oh, the devastation to my ego!
            Cath- now I’m depressed (like after seeing The Elephant Man) and anxious!

          • He’s just a heartbreaker, what can I say? But don’t worry, am sure he’ll come to his senses soon! LOL.

        • you like searching for “men” on youtube dont you cath…? 😛
          first the half tree half human man… Now the elephant man?
          Do you want to confess smth ? 😉

          • I’m allergic to men B, it’s just a coincidence…haha…

          • omr cath I loled right there…
            I’m allergic to men too. Especially to someone you all know 😉

  31. Well ladies,

    I wanted to comment before reading everyone else’s, because this was definitely an EPIC post. Too funny, this was exactly what I needed this AM.

    First, Tiffanized totally nailed it, with Rob and Kristen’s text convo. I’ve been wondering about what he might have been saying to her that day. I mean, the last time Kristen did an artsy photo shoot, all she had to put on her face was plastic wrap. I just saying…

    Secondly, I love your office, it so pretty!!

    Favorite comment:
    Moon: “Yea it was quite easy because they just told us to go about our normal routine… In the morning we make out, near our oil painting of Rob”
    Followed by, “Then around lunch Rob just shows up to hang out and watch you bone me from behind while he tries to look disinterested. That is actually a picture of our daily staff meeting.”

    Can’t wait to hear more about your podcast?!?!?

    I am not going to go near the vagina comments. I am allergic too…

  32. From the moment I saw the Details photos, my first thought was: Moon & UC will give us a killer breakdown on this shiz. Srsly, not how hot some of the photos were, no waxing eloquent
    about the interview…just, I can’t wait for Moon & UC to break this shit down.

    I was not disappointed. It was epic and funny as hell. Thanks to all the panelists for their genius participation.


  33. What does it say about me that whrn I looked at these photos for the first time all I could think was how much fun Moon and UC were going to have with captioning them. As always, my expectations gave been exceeded. My fave and most anticipated caption is the bathtub pic:

    “Ew is that a vagina and a wicker toliet? Where’s my Benedryl?” Bwahahahaha!!!!

    They could totally go into the business of putting out spoof magazines the way the Wayans do movie spoofs.

    • I thought the same thing. Screw the pretty, I wanted to read the funny.

  34. Hallooo lovelies!
    I’ve been on sabbatical from ATT* (and will be until my thesis is done), but am lucky enough to have a fantastic LTR mole keeping me up-to-date on important Rob news (hawt photos!!). I just wanted to pop in today- I couldn’t wait to see how you all felt about the Details interview and photo shoot!

    UC, Moon, and esteemed panel- THANKS! This was a great post! I had no idea LTR headquarters was so laid back and interesting- do you need an intern??

    Personally, I have mixed feelings about this. I loved the interview (LOVE Rob’s brain uncensored- it’s the sexiest part of him!!) but felt the photo shoot was blah- he looked supremely bored. As was I.

    *Mwah!* Thanks, guys- laters!
    xoxo Obava

    *All Things Twilight

    • Welcome back, Obava.

    • hey obava, I love your comment of “supremely bored”!!!

  35. So, I had 8 million emails at work this morning (literally, I swear) and I put them all on hold because I knew you two were up to something with this shoot. Soooooo worth it.

    I was at a hotel room on a girls’ weekend, drinking champagne when I saw these photos on Twitter. A girls’ weekend. Valentine’s Day. Drinking champagne. The squeals and shrieks deafened nearby towns in Maine.

    I think HeyyyBrother was so right: “So basically, I came away from this article looking at Rob as a little more Andy from 40 Year Old Virgin (except Rob might also have A.D.D.)” SERIOUSLY. I’d still do him. I’ll just bring the Benadryl with me.

    Oh, and my internet crush on The Font has is now official. Good work!

    • Yeah, I loved his comment too.
      The comparison to diCaprio was amazing! I never really thought about it. He’s gone from ‘That-hot-dude-in-Titanic’ to ‘That-hot-serious-actor’…
      He made it!

  36. “He is waiting to pick me up in the bar of my hotel. He has ordered himself a pint of beer and, remembering my beverage of choice, a Diet Coke for me. He has the lovely manners of the good son of a good mum.”

    with acting you keep trying in the hopes you might be… great. But then I think, does wanting to be good or even great, or even just wanting to make art, cheapen the experience?“

    „If it exists out there—this invisible-creative-spirit-idea thing—then you’re the medium through which it travels so everybody can touch it. But… what gives you the right to be the medium? What gives you the right to claim it? And then get an agent and say I want $20 million and a fruit basket to be the medium, thank you very much.

    I worry his head is going to explode
    ohh noo!!
    „Please don’t make this about me complaining. Please. I’m the luckiest bastard on the planet.“
    I’m а lucky person. Thank God. And I’m conflicted. Thank God.“

    yes thank God u are

    ❤ ROB

    about the famous "vagina" line i actually smiled when i read and thought yes me too:)
    c'mon there are million or billion men who go crazy about V but he says that..
    he's just different and respects women and not sees them as a sex object.u don't, don't u rob?i'm sure u do:)
    so why u did this photoshoot then?
    and stop worry about todays porn,i'm sorry is that a time when it becomes more classy,i really wanna argue about that ..with u personal

  37. Boobies!!!

    Moonie, this turned out perfectly! I’ll even forgive you for spelling my name wrong.


    • I loved your chart Brooke. Very visualizing…
      And the yellow string symbolizes lots of other girls. Whoever made it should have called it ‘Girls sexual frustration’ instead of just mentioning you. Just sayin 😉

  38. This post is brilliant-love the chart! Moon and Uc-you alone can put this to rest: Was Rob sneezing when he got too close to your lady parts? Did he have red, watery eyes?

    I loved Rob in this interview. I don’t think the interviewer did a very good job-she sounded like she was trying to be casual and familiar but ended up sounding sloppy and disjointed. I thought Rob’s answers were insightful, funny and a little all over the place. Nothing unusual. I thought the vagina bit was just him being funny the first time I read it, but I when I read the joke it comes from-hilarious.

    I don’t get the uproar over this article-Rob said nothing racist, misogynistic or otherwise controversial.I think he was a bit less guarded( the beers? being in his hometown? not being surrounded by Twi-hoopla?) and it was refreshing.

    • I think the question for UC and Moon might be, besides the red, watery, eyes, did he SWELL UP in unusual places, and get an ITCH he wanted them to scratch?

    • After seeing those pics, I’d love to See Rob as Gatsby. He would be a perfect fit.
      Ahem, Hollywood.

  39. BTW The Eclipse stills must be kinda official cause Popsugar had them in their video…
    I just saw it over at robsessed.
    And over at RAoR they have a almost 4 minutes long video of the Detail Rob pictures!

  40. I can’t help but think that after I’ll Make Love to You plays…then comes the REAL song. Freak Me by Silk.

    BTW, since you have staff meetings like that, can I be in charge of bagels and juice for them? Like a caterer? I know that the dress code is kinda strict….so I DO have a tweed thong and matching bra set for this exact situation.

  41. I dont even know what to say anymore. I already said everything… 😦
    I guess that’s what I get for being to eager…

    • LOL, need some ideas Bleriana? Although I need a break as well…Maybe…
      Tea and chocolate break!

      • I kinda said everything I wanted to say so I feel emptied (is that even a word?) out.
        And repeating kinda doesnt work because right now I don’t really care that much. It’s just another interview to me…

        p.s. does anyone wonder what would have happened if rob actually said: “I love Vaginas. I’m addicted to them.” because that thought kinda cracks me up right now…

        • He totally would be John Mayer the 2nd then, and that’s not really a good thing…LOL.

          • john mayer said that? Really?
            Uhm…and am I supposed to know who that is?

          • Famous US musician/guitarist and douche. Dated some famous ladies like Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston. Last week VERY controversial Playboy interview came out with him. Like VERY.


          • that dude… I just know him as jennifer aniston’s ex… Hahahhaha
            I will give that interview a go for sure!

        • If you read that interview, you won’t even think of the so called crazy things Rob’s said in his one anymore. It’s proves that interviews can be REALLY, REALLY bad. In comparison Rob’s the voice of reason.

          Just imagine Rob saying about Kristen that she was his sexual napalm, that he couldn’t get enough of her. Mayer said that of Jessica Simpson. Best ex-bf ever. NOT!

          I choose Rob.

          • I would choose Rob anytime! 😉
            But seriously… Why havent I heard of this interview if it was worse than robs? Oh right I dont online-stalk mr. Mayer….

  42. the pic “All this vagine, so little time…”
    must be clearer cuz i love the angle he’s never sat sexier

  43. Too much hilarity contained within one place. I’d like to revise my one wish to include having a beer with Rob, Kristin, Brookie, Tiffanized, The Font, Moon, UC, etc, etc, etc,. I love this.

    • pick me up in your PT cruiser and I’m there

      • Deal. I’ve have the top down (damn straight it’s a convertible!) and the Nickleback blaring. Have Brooke meet at your place and she can join the party too. Girls night out!

  44. I always thought the best sexin song was “closer” by NIN…..I know I could teach Rob a thing or two while sexin to that song!

    • Not a normal everyday kind of sexin’, that song is for breaking shi*t.

  45. elephants scare the crap out of me! iv’e had many nightmares involving them. hopefully the next one i have, Rob will be in its mouth having a great time. that would make it all better, weird, but better

    • Hi beer-me, see Cath’s and my posts from above! Until we see photos of him upside down in the elephant’s mouth (cries of photoshop ring out), we reserve judgment!

      Here’s to better dreams for you, though they’ll still be weird!!!!

  46. Oh Snap. . . First the underwear shopping with his BFF and now the allergy to vaginas. Oh sweet Jesus, is our boy bored? I can’t quite understand him. Since I do have an advanced degree in Child Psychology (and we know that Rob is child-like), I believe that he will be my new case study. WTF is going through this man-child’s head? Maybe I can get published, if I can figure him out. Upon first glance of all this shizz, there are three possible reasons for his rant:
    a. He is professing his love for TomStu, via his hate for vaginas, i.e. {wink, wink. . . blow kiss to his man).
    b. He loves to fuck with the media and/or public and then sit back and see the reactions/hysteria begin.
    c. He is bat-shit crazy, which still makes him wildly hot, in a weird way.

    Thanks to the panel for breaking this down. I couldn’t get to the computer fast enough this morning.

    • I think it’s B….we already know he HATES to be controlled and Hollywood Actors tend to be controlled by their PR teams. Rob DOES NOT have a PR and the Teeny Bopper image does not sit well with our man so I definitely think this is Rob’s way of trying to put people off…he does have a perverse sense of humour!

      • I am hoping it’s “b” too. . . That’s what I love about Rob, the I don’t give a fuck attitude.

    • i’m guessing ‘b’. He’s amusing his mind that is working at 100 million miles per hour!

      • Maybe before the next interview, someone can slip him some Ritalin to take the edge off.

    • I hope he is C. He don’t really care about a public opinion, and he don’t like the attention, and mass histeria, he just want to be left alone and do his job. But his feelings for TomStu are obvious 🙂

  47. Oh my head…someone quick I need some advil and big glass of water, now I know how Rob felt the day of these pics!

    Geez, I sure was a wreck for that interview, I hope they will still hire me back again when the time comes. I don’t really remember the 4th and 5th Cran/Vodkas….but I think I made out with my techincal/microphone helper guy in between my in depth reporting..heh.

    • Well Kristin…wishing to have “his finger on the ass” is no so bad…it’s GREAT!
      In my

    • Your comments in between made this video complete!
      And you just said what everyone of us thought when we looked at that pic…!

    • I totally pictured you! LOL love your in-depth reporting.

  48. I’ve looked at these photos all weekend and I never noticed the wicker toilet. Guess I was too mesmerized by the lusciousness of grown up Rob. Damn, the boy is fine.

    • Sounds really hard to clean the outside, doesn’t it?

      • I’m such a mom, I thought that, too, that it probably kinda smells like old pee.

        • Especially when men don’t pay attention to their aim!

          • And there’s poor Rob in his white pants, wallowing around on the floor with all those grout lines! That’s probably what he’s thinking about in that picture, right? “Damn, how am I gonna get that odor out of these pants? I was gonna “borrow” them after the shoot . . . girl, what girl? Oh, right.”

          • and you know that he’s concerned with infectious diseases-

          • Don’t get me started on the Rob-as-Howard-Hughes scenario that’s lurking in the back of my head!

          • Well, we don’t want him as a recluse any way I volunteer to try to talk him through his fears- this will take many hours of intense one-on-one discussion.

          • You go, girl. Just don’t get him thinking he has all these weird symptoms after he hears about the diseases he could contract . . .

  49. I haven’t commented in a long, long time, but I just had to come out of self-imposed lurkdom for this. Epic post, Moon and UC. All the brouhaha on the interwebs about his supposed “allergy” to vagina is seriously hilarious. Thank God some of the blogs are seeing the lighter side of it.

    My favourite comments from Gawker:

    “I believe he is mistaking an autoimmune disease for an allergy.”

    “….letting Kristen Stewart know once and for all, that no, he won’t eat pussy, and that’s that.”

    I thought the interview was pretty illuminating, albeit slightly bizarre and disjointed. He comes across as very introspective, and a little insecure (but that’s not necessarily a bad thing). I think he’s still trying to find his place as an actor. Stay as nutballs as you are Rob!

  50. Epicness, indeed. Especially the references to “cooter” and Boyz II Men.

    But the best was, “Is that vagina and a wicker toilet?”

    It’s my new favorite question of all time.

    p.s. Moon, I’m going to spend my day thinking up new names for pantyhose colors. Even though nothing will ever top “Suntan.” (Maybe “Nutmeg,” “Cinnamon,” or “Paprika.?” I need to get out of the spice cabinet.)

    • “Elephant trunk”? Sort of a grayish-purplish color.

      • Brill- and there can be patterned pantyhose that look like elephant trunks! Rob might now love that after his recent ‘experience’ with Karla the elephant. Didn’t he say it was one of the best days of his life???

        • I would totally put on the elephant-trunk pantyhouse and “explore” Rob’s body with my legs, if that’s what turns him on. . . .

          • that sounds really dirty! 🙂

          • Thank you. Yes, I am a perv.

    • How about “Barbequed potato chip”?

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