Posted by: Bekah | February 11, 2010

18 pieces of advice from Rob Pattinson to Taylor Lautner

Seems like just yesterday when you were this young.. (and this tan...)

Dear Taylor Lautner, [wait! you’re not on the wrong site! Keep reading….]

I heard it was your 18th birthday today. Happy Birthday. Send my regards along to Chris Hansen for being out of a job. (Although I have been hearing women way too old saying creepy things about that Justin Bieber kid. So maybe that’s his next gig.) Anyway, I caught you with your ol’ pal Rob Pattinson via that new “Buzz” feature in gmail. Seriously. My friend Jan buzzed “LOST IS LIFE” and I buzzed “I hate LOST and that girl from Remember Me” and then Rob Pattinson buzzed “I was in Remember Me” and I said “Rob? Is that you? Did you see I “liked” that picture from your Picasa feed of TomStu passed out on your La-Z-Boy with a Wii controller in his hand and some crust from a Hot Pocket on his mouth?” and he said “Hey UC. Yes I did! Hey I just started following you. Can you follow me back? So far only my mom and Mike Oregano are following me. And nothing is lamer than your mom and your girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend being your only friends on the latest social networking craze. Hey are you gonna talk to Taylor tomorrow on his birthday?” And that’s how it happened. Rob is busy today so he asked me to pass along 18 pieces of advice for your 18th birthday. He also told me to tell you to get rid of your hotmail account mykarateisstrong@hotmail.com and get a gmail (I checked i’moverkarateandnowintof*cking@gmail.com is available) so you can “buzz” each other (apparently the jitterbug has an app). So do with that what you will. Plus hotmail is soooo 1997.

Now that you're 18, let's go pick up chicks

18 pieces of Advice from Rob Pattinson to Taylor Lautner

Hey Taylor. Sorry I couldn’t send you this list personally. I’ve been busy modeling my new briefs and snapping jitterbug pictures of myself and uploading them to Picasa. Here is some important advice. Happy Birthday Man!

  1. Now that you’re a man, being on the cover of Tiger Beat month after month doesn’t fly. You need to branch out to a more mature female audience. This can be achieved by wearing more ill-fitting clothes, finding the perfect beanie to cover up that hair you need to stop washing so often and getting yourself a pair of suspenders that make absolutely no sense. Trust me- the ladies love it
  2. Trust me on this one. If you meet a nice, older woman at a bar (or at the Olive Garden- whatever) check for tan lines on the ring finger… sure… you might THINK she’s not married… until her husband shows up the next morning to beat your ass to a pulp.
  3. Just because you can legally watch porn does not mean you should be flaunting the fact that you are indeed doing so… sex shops are not your friends. The internet is. Once you get buzz I can show you some of my favorite sites. I share them in my favorites.
  4. Always… Always ask for her age… then subtract 3 years … and when in doubt., assume she’s not legal. Jail will not be fun- especially for a pretty boy like you. Plus you just let Chris Hansen off the payroll as your protector… you really want to have to pay him because he starts blackmailing you after you eye up that cute young thang you met at the manufactured-Disney-teens-reunion tour who just happened to be 15? See this: http://www.ageofconsent.com/california.htm? Print it out. Memorize it. And if worst comes to worst- call this number: 1800-Too-Young and ask for Mr. Goldstein.
  5. Now that your 18, take up smoking. Trust me- this way when you don’t shower for days and you end up smelling so bad that people have coughing fits when you walk by, you can blame it on the cigarette smoke.
  6. Dad’s are a great source for clothing. I know you’re close to your pop. (In fact, I’ve heard he’s your only friend- see below for advice on that) Check out his closet. I promise you’ll find some gems buried in the back. And if you reach far enough, maybe in that box labeled 1981, they might actually fit you. If not, I know a good tailor who can bring that oversized blue polo in a good 10-12 inches.
  7. Does NOT count as a "pack of boys"

    Get a pack of “boys.” First verify you’re not gay- it doesn’t work the same if you are. It’s imperative that now that you’re 18 you can yell when leaving your house, “Mom, I’m going out with the guys” and mean someone other than your agent, dad and 12 year old cousin who hasn’t yet learned what deodorant is.

  8. Speaking of “the house,” now that you’re 18 and wealthy, maybe it’s time to think about moving out and into your own place. No, I don’t mean the house that’s for sale next door to your parent’s in the Valley. How about heading south a few minutes in Los Angeles. There are places to live there. It isn’t all Hollywood blvd and your talent agency. Sure, it’s harder to find an Olive Garden, but I hear there are other places for good Italian food.
  9. Since you’re now 18, things you used to do that were “cute” or simply brushed off because he were “just a kid” don’t get brushed off anymore. Like if you hug your mom for a little too long or nuzzle in her boobs… it’s no longer cute and mama-boyish. It’s just creepy. Or if you show up to a restaruant with meat patty bags … it’s no longer the quirky thing “the kid” is doing… its now the gross wierd habit of a freak.
  10. Along the same lines, when an older woman asks you to sign her panties, it’s no longer something to be ‘creeped out’ about and tell your friends your dad. You can look her straight in the eyes and ask her to make you a man. It’s allowed now.
    Read on after the jump!
  11. But remember, at 18… us dudes are allegedly peaking sexually… therefore I have one piece of advice for you… make sure the condoms aren’t expired. Throw out that one you’ve had in your wallet since the 7th grade.
  12. It’s cool to be close to your dad. I enjoy spending time with Dick. But before you had an excuse for always having your dad around. You were 17 and it was required by law. Now you’ve either got to ditch the old man or come up with some kinda excuse as to why the eff you are keeping him around. “He holds my meat patties” isn’t a good enough excuse. Mostly because I know there’s no way that man would be able to hold onto food without eating it himself. My advice? Ditch dad.  that way you can explore all the places you’ve been traveling to the right way. And I mean you can go to a strip club without worrying that he’s going to block the stage.
  13. Go to a strip club. Don’t tell anyone there you’ve done karate. That’s not cool.
  14. Get Taylor Swift back. Reasons: #1 She’s hot. #2 She sold more albums than anyone last year. #3 You don’t want her to write a song about you if you’re NOT together #4 She can hopefully help you enough with your inevitable music career so that you don’t become a major embarrassment to yourself, your family and your future pack of “boys.”
  15. Don’t start a music career
  16. Call me next time around with Swiftner. I might have some advice to offer.
  17. I’m gonna reiterate that whole “Get yourself some friends other than Big Daddy, your manager and Kenny your cousin” because seriously… the more you just hang out with chicks that don’t put out and you don’t brag about banging them, the more its just gonna look like you’re not straight
  18. You’re 18. It’s time to celebrate. Come on over to England, where you can legally drink, and I’ll pick up an entire 6 pack of the finest beer available- Heineken- and we can watch porn and eat Hot Pockets with my friend Tom and I’ll show you all the famous London sites- like our version of Target and Wal-mart. And yes, just for you, England’s version of the Olive Garden

Happy 18th Birthday Taylor!

Love,
Rob & UC & Moon

Things to remember on Taylor’s Birthday:

Our internet game is still ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter

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Responses

  1. This is crazy/funny/strange… so many feelings at the same time. It would be fun imagining Rob as Tays mentor… hahahhaha
    Happy birthday and happy legality to Taylor btw!!!

  2. There are so many wins in this post I don’t know where to start. I agree with Bleriana though.. Rob as Taylor’s mentor? That’s the greatest thing ever.

    “First verify you’re not gay- it doesn’t work the same if you are.”
    Priceless.

    • Agreed today’s post EPIC!

  3. 19. Stop being such a square….girls like the bad boys, TRUST ME! (maybe if you weren’t such a bore Taylor S might holler back!)

    • girls like the bad boys… so true…

    • true that,
      i’ve said it before, but sometimes taylor tries to hard. not that i don’t appreciate effort, but come on dude, you HAVE to try out all of rob’s favorite activities. sleeping and boozing and shopping it up with tomstu (sorry, insert your own man-friend here, you cant steal tomstu.)

      • “sleeping and boozing and shopping”

        -ah, that’s a perfect day!

        • Snow,
          I loved seeing your post last week at ltr on Thurs…

          Thanks!!
          lion

          • thx, Lion!
            Love to rant about wardrobe fail.

  4. lol @ Along the same lines, when an older woman asks you to sign her panties, it’s no longer something to be ‘creeped out’ about and tell your friends your dad. You can look her straight in the eyes and ask her to make you a man. It’s allowed now.

    I think I just tripped of my chair from laughing…

  5. “I enjoy spending time with Dick”

    That’s what she said!

    • THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT SHE SAID BUT SHE ADDED ‘WITH ROB’S DICK’

    • Alice – I literally copied that to paste in my comment – GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE 😉

      • haha that’s why I always try to arrive here early :p. Otherwise there is nothing left to say.

  6. Gawd, I so hope the kid reads this. Every word in it is a precious gem. Particularly the advice about ditching the old man and getting TaSwift back.

    Happy Birthday, TayLay!

  7. The mental picture of Taylor and Rob actually hanging out together (when not forced to for a movie promotion) is just way to funny.

    I imagine Taylor’s perfect day is working out for 4 hours, getting something to eat – high protein, of course. And finishing up the day on mom and dad’s couch watching American Idol.

    Could these two be any more opposite?

    This is why I’m a Rob girl. No offense meant to the Taytor tot (can I still call him that now that he’s 18?), but I have a feeling Taylor will be this innocent when he’s 80!

    • clean and ironed and always doing the right thing at the right time while listening to some mtv toooo mainstream singer as the only form of culture education and only saying appropriate things to appropriate people and that’s also why i’ll never be into this type of guy.

      • Agreed.

      • Agreed, also.

      • Ditto! Taylor is too boy-cute. Rob is seksi hot! However, maybe Taylor just needs some LTR girl to show him the ways of the world. Then maybe……

        “when an older (LTR) woman asks you to sign her panties…..you can look her straight in the eyes and ask her to make you a man”

    • They’re such complete opposites. But I love them both (okay, I love Rob a little more..), for different reasons! I told someone this the other day and they were completely shocked by it.
      Anyone else think it’s possible to love them both?

      • ‘…but I love them both….(okay, I love Rob a little more..)’

        That statement is so wrong on many levels 🙂

        NO, Jess, sorry, but I do not, nor could not, love them both. My obsessive madness is only limited to the one person….Rob all the way 🙂 I physically don’t have the time to be this mental about anyone else.

        • only Rob, agreed.

        • “I physically don’t have the time to be this mental about anyone else?”

          Well said, Mine!

      • My only other really big celebrity crush was/is Johnny Depp. I would say Johnny is the bad boy type and certainly is weird and quirky (much like Rob).

        But in real life, my husband is a straight-laced business owner and a strict Catholic – and I love him to pieces!

        So, yes, I do think you can be attracted to both types.

        However, Rob and Johnny are just my fantasies. I’m quite certain I would not want to marry a man like that. I just want to undress them with my eyes and make dirty and inappropriate comments about them on blogs 🙂

        • Thank you! I’m happy someone agrees with me.
          In a game of shun shag or marry, I would shag Rob but marry Taylor.

          • WHAT?

          • NO WAY…..HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!!!!!!! 🙂

          • Oh my.
            Perhaps this conversation should have been started over at LTT.
            I just can’t really see Rob.. I can’t explain this. I should stop.
            Agree to disagree before this gets ugly 🙂

          • Okay, you know what? I take it back.
            I just saw some pics of him with a dog that might have made me change my mind about the shag/marry thing.

          • Don’t change your mind, Jess.

          • @Jess,
            Mickey Rourke likes dogs too. Just sayin’! 😉

          • I understand where you’re coming from. I would love to have a beer with Rob and just sit and talk to him (and maybe visit a dumpster 🙂 ), but I agree with you that he’s probably not the marrying kind. (I can see people polishing their tomatoes to throw at me.)

            Didn’t he even say once in an interview that he didn’t want to get married because he couldn’t see staying with the same person forever?

          • Umm, Jess. It’s okay, the RobLine just got a little shorter.
            😉
            I can’t fantasize about Tay. I can’t drool over Tay’s pics.

            Rob’s the only one to make me whimper and can impregnate me with a mere glance. <<<in a photo, not even RL.

          • the line is one shorter- hahaha- its still a really long line

      • well Jess…love has no rules..so mhmm…NOT POSSIBLE!lol

      • i can honestly say i don’t get the whole taylor thing at all, he’s just so squeaky clean and a bit fake i think. i appreciate the major abbage in new moon but it didn’t have any effect on me, not like when i saw the pics of rob, skinny, lanky, pale with likely drawn on abs. *sigh*
        i don’t know am i the only one who doesn’t get taylor?

        • you’re not alone

          • Definitely not…I don’t get it either.
            Not my kinda guy, can’t imagine him hammered in a dingy pub surrounded by ‘moody boys’! Maybe in a dark club surrounded by men in chaps!

        • I also don’t get taylor, but i think it’s a style thing.

        • Taylor is a nice BOY, with muscles or without….NOT a MAN yet!

          • Yes a boy – even though is 18 now. I do not get the Taylor thing either.

        • Nope, I don’t get it either. I admit that I can’t watch his interviews. I get bored. There, I said it!

          Also, I get a little fed up with his younger fans. And this is completely NOT Taylor’s fault. I can’t blame him for this, but I was a bit pissed off when New Moon came out and so many of his fans were ragging on poor Rob for being skinny and pale and not nearly as buff as Taylor. Well, he wasn’t supposed to be, was he? I’ve read the books. Edward is described as tall and lean. He wasn’t supposed to work out so much that he looked like a WWE wrestler.

          At the risk of getting a LOT of “thumbs down” but because I’m in a bad mood today, I’ll go so far as to admit that when I saw the behind-the-scenes picture of the NM promotional photo shoot with Taylor standing on a box so he could look almost as tall as Rob, the really petty side of me laughed and laughed and laughed. I love a tall man!

          • I love tall man as well…and Rob is special, a very special tall man!
            The box thing was funny…and it’s not Taylors fault to be shorter, that’s just showbusiness!
            Feel better soon!

          • oh my god i totally agree, he’s like a wwe wrestler action figure!!
            i’m sure he’s a really nice guy but he just comes off rehearsed.

          • I love tall, lanky men too–so smexy…..
            The box totally cracked me up. Love how you have to continuously swallow your pride in Hollywood. I’d never make it there.

            @undecided, you’re right. Taylor is rehearsed, and it is boring in it’s appropriateness. But he started out in Hollywood as a little kid. Good little kids follow the rules and get indoctrinated fast–like Dakota and Zac. The smart ones learn early on the importance of playing the game in order to succeed, ’cause there’s so many other kids out there willing to take their place. Once they achieve greatness, then maybe some let loose ala Britney, former cute Musketeer-turned-scary crazy WTF? So perhaps Taylor will have a massive flip-off of Hollywood in his near future (after he’s done promoting Max Steel and Wheaties). 😉

      • Okay, I’m totally prepared for some thumbs down, but first, realize that I’m a daily LTR visitor because I’ve got an unholy, salacious obsession with Rob. Only Rob. That being said, I do understand Taylor’s appeal. As much as I love Rob, I’m old enough now to recognize the whole smoking/boozing/bad-boy thing as a manifestation of insecurity. I actually admire young (dare I say) “men” like Tater who resist the pressure to act all bad boy in order to project a “cool” image. I’ve been there with the artistic, moody, self-destructive bad boys when I was younger, and feel like I can honestly see through all that posturing and image-crap. Now that I’m older I prefer men who are cool and sexy because of their talent, their passions, their genius–basically, their contributions to the world–besides eye f*cking and jaw porn (although we should never underestimate those) :). But Rob does have talent and passion. He doesn’t need to do the whole practiced ennui thing to turn me on.
        So, basically, kudos to Tater for being self confident enough to be who he is. He should be proud of his martial arts stuff, of his cheesy little dancing video they showed on Kimmel, and of his squeaky clean image. ‘Cause the kid has talent, and he’s impressed me.
        Despite all I’ve said–smoking Rob is f*ckhawt.

        • Oooh,
          I got my old avi back!! Thank Budha–was rather attached to it! 😉

        • Again, I’m glad it’s not just me.
          That said, he really could stand to lose the shiny suits and kick back a bit.

          And yes, let’s not underestimate the importance of eye f*cking and jaw porn.

        • “smoking/boozing/bad-boy thing as a manifestation of insecurity”
          i actually don’t think rob is doing the whole “bad boy” thing if he was he’d be falling out of a club coked with linsay lohan. he went shopping to marks and sparks for smalls and then bought x box games with his best bud!
          “practiced ennui” i dunno, he seems fairly happy if a bit overwhelmed by the attention. i don’t think his awkwardness and insecurity are put on.

          but ya it does take balls to be that squeaky clean at that age in hollywood so fair play to taylor for that

          • Here’s the thing. Rob actually admitted that he practiced the image thing in the past. He mentioned drinking lots of coffee and trying to look “intense” when working on GOF. He admitted to giving Kristen obscure books to read when he first met her, trying to impress her. But the fact that he readily (without any sort of prying) admits to all this is what really makes me love him. He’s so honest and open about it. I adore that.

        • whyamidoingthis~

          That’s a thought provoking post. Thanks. I think you are right about everything you said, but for some reason it’s really hard for me to admit. I hate to think about Rob doing the “practiced ennui thing,” but I’m sure you are right. I do have very high hopes for what Rob will do in his life and be more than jaw droppingly beautiful, hilarious guy…who loves to party…but what’s so bad about that…see how conflicted I am.

          Even though I have a great DH who is passionate and wants to contribute to the world…the bad boy gets me everytime, but I’ve never experienced a celeb crush like this, so yes, I guess Rob just satisfies my bad boy lust from afar and I can keep being married to a wonderful, cool person…

          lion

          • Lion,
            I’m right there with you. Thus, my final comment. Some of the hottest pictures of Rob are his smoking ones. I lust after those apathetic, bad-boys too, probably because they remind me of my sexy undergrad days, when we could be relatively carefree.
            *wistful sigh*

        • I’d be so blue if Tater lost his goofy good boy image. Fake or not, the innocence is applaudable. I am tired of seeing “good” celebs go bad (Tiger, Kobe, etc.). Although I am a bad boy fan, wholesome is refreshing.

          • I am so with you!(See LTT!) Wholesome is also good! As long as a man’s got a good sense of humour & some mischief in his eyes (which that little tykeTaylor has) I just think all the bad boy stuff is…optional, even *gasp* a bit stale…

          • @ beakerj

            YES! That’s what our 20’s are for, experimenting with bad boys. But in real life, ” …got a good sense of humour & some mischief in his eyes ” —that’s what I married.

            You know what they say, “make ’em laugh… make ’em breakfast”
            😉

          • Wait a minute, back the truck up, I’m new here, Rob’s considered a “bad boy”????? Really????

          • I don’t consider him a bad boy- not at all.

        • I completely agree, why. I too enjoy the visual delights that Rob has to offer and admire his quirky, individualistic personality. But at the end of the day, in real life, he’s not my type of guy at all. I have far more respect/appreciation for men like Taylor (and similar types of women for that matter) who work hard, present a professional image, take themselves seriously and want to be taken seriously, and are generally very kind people. I am not saying Rob isn’t any of those things, he certainly can be that way too and has been at times. It’s just he’s admired so often for his bad boy/angsty artist/blasé image (that he cultivates) and I just can’t relate to/enjoy someone in real life because of that. It does come down to personal preferences, though, so to each, his/her own.

          • operarose,

            Yes. I think many are attracted to the angsty, alternative image. I mean, who really wants to end up all lame like their safe-car-driving, monthly-budget-minding, dockers-wearing parents? Many usually wants to avoid falling into that “trap”, thinking adults are all a bunch of loser lemmings. Yet we all grow up and realize that unless we’re 1) extraordinarily lucky (e.g., land the role of Edward Cullen) and/or 2) insanely talented (e.g., totally own the role of Edward Cullen), the only way we can really succeed in life is by playing the damn game.

            Doesn’t mean we’ll all end up wearing dockers and driving safe cars. But we all end up learning that at times we must follow the script. Those who follow the script with grace, like Taylor, truly impress me.

            And those who do it with utter awkwardness and self consiousness ala Rob, apparently turn me on.

          • just come back to this thread…..blimey it’s all got a little serious!

            Rob = Bad boy…..don’t make me laugh! He’s about as far from bad boy as you can get.

            Little bit of rebel does not a bad boy make.

            Well I’d rather have bad boy (snigger) Rob than ‘follow the script with grace’ (snore) Taylor. 🙂

            No offense intended whyamidoingthis.

          • mine!mine!mine!

            I never thought of Rob as a bad boy, either. In fact, from what I’ve heard, he is a very hard worker and dedicated to his profession. There hasn’t been one person he’s worked with over the last couple of years who’s come out and complained that Rob was drunk on set or always late and holding up production. Every actor he’s worked with has said in interviews that Rob is professional and serious about what he does.

            Rob is way to goofy to be a true bad boy. Mickey Rourke is a bad boy. He’d kick Rob’s giggly ass any day of the week! (I also have a feeling that no matter how old Rob gets, Dick and Claire will be there to keep him in line as well.)

          • @mine!

            The “bad boy” descriptive did not originate with me. I think it was the convenient, if inaccurate, way to explain the dichotomy that is Rob and Taylor. Taylor follows the script, Rob skips media training “like a rebel”. Rob doesn’t wear regulation Hollywood clothes or regulation Hollywood skivvies, Taylor looks put together and ironed.

            And we all know Rob’s not a party-er. He himself admits to being boring.

            No offense taken at all. I myself hate it when fun blog comments get hijacked by crackpot philosophers who over-generalize everything. Which is why I’ve been trying to shut up for while!

          • i am prob posting this to the wrong reply but…..whyamidoingthis:……..apologies don’t stop because of my sillyy arse comment you have every right to wax lyrical on anything and as often as you want. It’s my crappy english sence of humour raising it’s ugly head again. Think i’m being witty and charming when in fact i’m being a bloody arse! Sorry 🙂

          • @mine!
            You’re not an arse! Srsly, there was NO offense taken!
            Don’t know why I’m so comment-crazed today. Must be because I’m completely snowed in and out of hot pockets.

        • Rob is NOT a bad boy, he’s a GOOD guy!the end!

      • Okay, one last comment, then I promise to shut up.

        Isn’t it interesting how the public respects and admires the Hollywood girls who follow the squeaky clean path (think Reese, Natalie, etc) rather than the partying girls like Lindsey, Paris, and Tara who are called “skanks” and worse, yet so many of us think that a squeaky clean Hollywood guy is a “bore”?

        Just an observation. I am not saying I prefer Tater to Rob. Quite the opposite. But I will not disparage Tater (though perhaps that nickname is a wee bit disparaging). He is an unusally disciplined and determined kid with a mad work ethic, and with what looks like a fun, wholesome personality. What’s not to love? (all this Taylor love must be emanating from the mom in me).

        • i think i’m still naive enought to want a bad boy!!! (i know i know you can’t change them)
          and ya i find it so cute he gave pretentious books to k stew the fact that he admitted it totally negates the bad boy image!
          but if fairness i do agree with you completely about taylor (lautner and swift actually) they may seem boring and disney to us (i assume most of us are mid twenties and up hence the whole chris hansen thing) but if i had kids i would want them to be into them rather then miley cyrus or chris brown

        • I’m not trying to disparage Taylor. In fact, I usually do compliment him (as if he’s reading this, hahaha!) on how well spoken he is. He does seem like a great, hard working kid. I think I even said once before that if I had daughters, I would rather see them lust after Taylor than Rob, ’cause Taylor seems “safer” 🙂

          My beef is with the fans who think that they have to insult Rob to lift up Taylor. It bothers me that people blog awful things about Rob just so they can make Taylor seem “hotter”. It’s just a matter of taste (like minuit said). I think Taylor is cute and certainly has a great body, but even if he was Rob’s age, I still wouldn’t read a blog about him everyday. I just feel bad for Rob because in his NM interviews, he seemed really proud of the body he had. I think he said he was in the best shape of his life. Yet so many people compared him to Taylor and scoffed at him. It’s like comparing apples to oranges. Rob has a different body style and probably will never be really “buff”.

          Whew! You can tell it’s my time of the month. Instead of being snarky like I usually am, I’m all emotional and “girly”. I hate that!!

          • Hi, tooold,
            No worries, I didn’t mean that any of us here were necessarily disparaging Taylor. This is just the LTR site, so of course, we’re all biased! 😉

            I agree with you about the lame Taylor fans that say nasty stuff about Rob. In fact I was so pleasantly surprised when Rob achieved massive sex symbol status looking the way he does. I had come to believe that there was no hope for the American masses’ taste, what with being spoon-fed the media preference that hot men are only of the massive, muscle-y, hairless variety.

            So pleased and relieved to discover that other women, in fact thousands of them, have good taste–like us!

            Can you tell I’m so not into getting any work done today?

          • @whyamidoingthis – Yeah, I don’t get the whole “hairless” thing either. When did it become sexy for men to shave/wax all the hair from their body? Mr. Oldforthis has a moderate amount of hair on his chest and it never occured to me that it wasn’t supposed to be attractive. I just always assumed that hairy men were more virile!

          • @tooold

            I think the whole hairless thing came into fashion sometime relatively soon after the hair overload from Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck. Hey, may that guy Don Johnson ushered it in? Or was that just the “no socks” look? I dunno–was he hairless?

          • I don’t know if he was hairless. I wasn’t a big Don Johnson fan.

            But you may have something with the Tom Selleck ‘stache killing it for hairy men everywhere. That was pretty awful.

            But you know, Billy Burke is single-handedly trying to bring the porno mustache back in style.

        • Nan, don’t think it’s a party man/woman thing. Paris Hilton is ridiculous hence the image. Kate Moss was paped sniffing coke and she’s still an icon at 35.
          I also don’t think Rob is a “bad boy”, he’s a lot like my friends, to me he’s just a normal cool guy. And why does everyone think he reads “pretentious” books? I mean what would you say if he read Harlequin and Baywatch were his fav. film? So for me Taytay and Rob are way tooo different and I can’t understand how you can like both cause for me Tayay is a nono, but hey, as long as everyone’s happy…Again it’s a question of style (not in the fashion kinda way), I don’t like Rob for “porn”, it’s the whole package I crushed on (twss).

          • ’cause he read Twilight. And that’s SO pretentious.

            Oh, and I like his whole “package” too. 😉

        • Great post! But I’m not so convinced of the fact that Rob is that much of a real badboy. His behaviour has been pretty normal/standard for a British guy his age. Smoking is not that much looked upon in the UK, and most of the youth drink a lot/too much.

          Rob’s fessing up to presenting Kristen with pretentious books and being all intellectual on the set of GOF; I think, besides age and everything being very new for him, also has to do with the insecurity which stems from a peculiar source. Like most of you know Rob comes from an upper-middle class family. A seemingly very lovingly, happy family. He didn’t had a traumatic childhood or anything remotely like that as far as I know. He’s as white bread as one can get. And that’s great, nothing wrong with that. BUT…

          I’m sure he felt/maybe still feels that he’s not a very exciting person/hasn’t been trough much drama. So when he arrived on the scene he probably tried to hide that by being somewhat of pretentious prat. But here’s the great thing; Rob sees trough his own behaviour; he knew was acting silly. I think he’s quite over it. And the rollercoaster ride that his breaktrough has been/still is for him, will have provided him with some real life drama, some real hardships, apart from the overall blessing it is at the same time.

          His insecurities are perfectly understandable. A lot of the GREAT actors had quite hard childhoods for example. Had already experienced loss, poverty or were moved around all the time.(Brando, Redford, River Phoenix, Depp) If you’ve watched Inside The Actor’s Studio, you’ll know what I mean.
          They tap out of their own experiences and hardships when they act.
          It’s certainly no requirement, but most artists have a dark side to them, whether they always show it or not, that’s another question.

          I like Taylor. Ofcourse Rob and him are completely different. But you may be surprised. I think in real life Taylore could have MORE baggage than Rob. He has been acting since a very young age, having to act like an adult. It’s a hard industry for an adult, let alone for a child. I think he’s a great kid, but also an product of this Hollywood upbringing.(as is Dakota/as his Kristen which I firmly believe is only acting out her puberty now) His parents have probably always wanted this for him. Also known is that he always led a very disciplined life, which where are martial arts also about. He really is the polar opposite to Rob. Maybe Taylor is perfectly adapted, like Dakota Fanning. But he’s still so young, who knows how he will turn out? I wish him nothing but the best and a real life (and real friends as Rob has) as well, not only the Hollywood lifestyle.

          Sorry for the long ass post ladies!

          • Anyone from this side of the pond care to define “bad boy.”

            I think we might be referring to Rob as “bad boy” for lack of a better term, but after having referred to him that way myself, I’m rethinking the whole matter.

            For me, “bad boy” has always meant someone kinda wild, hard to pin down, not necessarily your safest or easist bet for a long term relationship, but I dunno know.

            I’d like to hear how others define bad boy. I think Rob is an enigma. He’s mysterious and puzzling and cannot be categorized.

            Thanks for making me thing it through, RG.

          • It’s a confusing term, bad boy…

            When I think of Bad Boys Hollywood style I think of Brando, James Dean, Dennis Hopper, Jack Nicholson, Sean Penn(not in a fun way). I don’t know if I can think of any good 2010 examples. Not really. Nearly everything/everyone seems so manufactured in H’wood.

            Heath Ledger was a bad boy, much more than Rob. Johnny Depp once was. Robert Downey Jr, Jude Law is one, Jackson Rathbone could be one, he’s just not that famous. But he fits that quality more than Rob IMHO. I don’t know, he always seemed more nerdy/funny/charming to me than a bad boy. There is a dark side there though, I think that’s what brings on the mystery you refer to.

            I like the ones who are not Hollywoodesque like Rob, like Ryan Gosling, but they are not really bad boys. They ARE different though. And hard to pin down. Somewhat mysterious. And, that’s the most important to me; they don’t seem very much affected and are genuine, while at the same time walking to the beat of their own drum. BUT are not *ssholes, are considered nice guys by everyone who gets to meet them. Maybe we could call them outsiders, but in a good way. So maybe in that light, Ledger and Depp were not really ‘bad’ either, but just outsiders. ‘Cause Johnny supposed to be a great guy, which hasn’t come overnight I think.

            I admit, it’s all very confusing. It’s just what you want to read into such a term. I give up. 😉

          • Thanks for adding your “bad boy” comments, Cath!!

          • Rob being a Bad Boy, I would say No. I dont think so. He photographs well and can look the part, maybe even be naughty and do naughty things. (maybe too much FF for me….)

            I think he’s a sweet guy overwhelmed by everything that has happened to him and baffled by the lustful thoughts hes creating (Knowing and unknowingly) and that hes understands in a way that a man does, when he has older sisters.

            Did you see his reaction to all the women screaming for him on the Ellen show in Nov? Priceless

            He said in People ’08 – Sexiest man alive issue that “he didnt get it, last year he couldnt get a girlfriend (not for lack of trying) and that all the sudden everyones taste had changed?”

          • “His behaviour has been pretty normal/standard for a British guy his age.”
            @cath

            i agree fully, i think it’s strange that anyone would consider him wild or cultivating a dangerous persona!!
            maybe it’s a cultural thing, like over here confidence is seen as an intimidating trait and can be perceived as arrogance (often incorrectly.) maybe in the us he’s seen differently cos he’s not smiley, cute and wholesome (no thats not a dig at taylor.)
            maybe that explains it a little bit i don’t know … it all got a little bit serious in here today, think we should all go cool off in the shower with rob in that remember me clip. died.

          • lion@ thx and ….I would marry THIS “bad boy”, because if he is supposed to be def.like that…me is such a bad girl as well , because when coffee filters are out I’ll use toilet paper!

        • OK so here comes a snobish post, feel free to downthumb me and call me a bitch.
          Everybody always referrs to Rob’s parents as pretentious/classy/intellectual people. And I don’t understand why cause they were far from having pretentious jobs. Sure they were smart to make money for someone with no upper education and no diploma (I think Rob said in an interview that his dad didn’t finish highschool – not that there’s smth wrong with it, but it’s just the opposite of pretentious) and they gave their kids a fine education and inculcate them values but their background seems to be all but intellectual or pretentious. I come from a pretty classy family and although my parents gave me a lot of freedom, my mum would have never told me “Zygote Minuit, would you like to be a model?” and if I would have come home saying “hi, i want to be an actress and screw university” it would have probably been the drama of the century at my house. So now I ridiculised myself but I just wanted to say that they’re all but pretentious.

          • It’s not a snobbish post MP. Not at all. No thumbs down there!

            I think Rob’s family is classy, but in a good way. Not intellectual or pretentious at all. I perceive them as upper middle class, it’s just a thing which still is relevant in GB today.
            I do think that Rob has been trying to come across over as a young intellectual when he was starting out as an professional actor, just to hide his insecurities as he said himself. I can relate to that, just human nature. Mainly because he’s from such a normal, happy family, like there are many others out there. TQuite the opposite; mainly the fact that his family was not pretentious/intellectual or dysfunctional may have triggered some insecurities. Him feeling the need to be somewhat more interesting, impressing others with books for example. It’s completely silly, but like I said, also very understandable, esp. for someone so young. He’s surely over that right now.

          • Min, you’re a snobbish bitch. 😉
            I ❤ you.
            and I love the word inculcate.
            and I gave you a thumbs up.
            and I can't believe you played the zygote card.

          • hahaha <3u too.
            There's the zygote card (I was actually serious about it) and the Big in Japan card. But I've used and abused the last one so…

          • indeed, you did get a rise with the Big in Japan card around here.
            😀
            Off topic, did you see the new pics with Rob and the toilet roll? I wonder if Moon & UC will write him about that tomorrow.
            please, oh please, oh please…

          • Not snobbish, not a bit.

            Must say (again) it’s getting a bit serious on here today 🙂

          • Yes, couldn’t help ourselves and started talking about the TP below. and it’s a great post topic.

          • Agreed. And I also never got why sometimes people refer to Rob as being “well educated” and “intelligent”. A high school diploma is not usually described as well educated. And we honestly don’t know just how intelligent Rob is, despite his ambitious book choices. We know he’s not an idiot, but it’s interesting how folks always talk about how intelligent he is. Maybe it’s the posh accent. Dunno.
            Am I the snobby bitch now? Why has no one thumbs down me yet? I’ve so deserved some.

          • minuit@..100% agree!

  8. “13.Go to a strip club. Don’t tell anyone there you’ve done karate. That’s not cool.”

    Win!

  9. Hilar.

    Just, HILAR!

    • hey, weren’t you supposed to stalk, ahem sorry, visit London?

      • I’m in London now, I work here, but that means that I’m chained to my desk and don’t get to actually go outside that often :S

        Have you seen the new pics from Rob on the set of Bel Ami? I need to find out where that is!!!

        • So do I.

          • and me!

          • Somebody MUST know, but I think if they’re in a studio it could be shepperton or pinewood.

          • I read elstree studios would be used. Hard to tell from the photos where it is.

            What’s really sad is I care…..I’m a lost soul!

          • I did the creepy thing and looked at the Nando’s eating picture and figured out Rob’s eating a chicken pitta which is what I order when I go there.

            Did you hear that sound??
            That was me hitting ROCK BOTTOM.

          • Ladies, I work near somewhere where they filmed some of Sherlock Holmes and the The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, I thought I might take a little walk over there ‘because I needed some air’ – and there is currently a large scale production filming there! I don’t think it’s been there all week – someone told me it’s for a BBC drama, but I am clinging onto some hope! I’m gonna keep checking it like the crazy set stalker I am!

          • What’s about set stalking WITH a DOG? ….okay….just not cool!

          • goodgirlgoneplaid, you will find me 50feet below rock bottom underneath all that crap, clutching my photo of Rob in Japan….

        • And I can be in London in like 3 hours.

          Try to call the studios, production company, preferably not saying “hi, i just wanna bang Rob”. But I think set stalking is not that interesting since he’s with his other love (Steam) and no Heines.

          • Take me with you please MP.

          • do it, just do it!!!

        • keep me posted, I can be there in 15mins.

        • Do it!!!

  10. Hahaha, so you think Rob knows about the latest social networking thing and also that he discovered phones had applications? Love is really blind. Just as his feelings for the “finest” beer available :Heineken 🙂 the finest indeed.

    • and he’ll spring for a whole 6 pack!

      • I volunteer to bring over the Heine, straight from factory…
        So where was that studio again? 😉

        • haha, don’t bother for the heines, we’ll just buy a pack from the closest store and tell him it comes from the factory, he’ll never notice the difference. Instead can you bring some weed please ? 🙂

          • Hahaha, it’s all about that with you and Rob, isn’t it? Tsss, MP. 😉
            Tell you what:I make you a deal, I’m not going to risk my ass for smuggling that. Not quite sure if Rob would bail me out if I would end up getting caught, hahaha. You just hop on the EuroStar, party some with Rob, and then head over to here on his day off. Heathrow-Schiphol is only an hour. Then I’ll show you guys the sights. (yeah right) Much safer that way, haha. What can I say, I love my freedom more than my Rob. (Sorry Rob, sure you understand, MP and the other gals are coming your way though. I’ll be here patiently waiting till you show up on the 12th of never)

          • i was joking with the weed, i never risked it myself. i did instead post some but I never received it. someone at the post office had a good day.
            but srlsy, the best idea is to change your Amsterdam sightings for some London sightings.

          • Ofcourse I knew you were joking! And that post story, LOL. Too funny. Imagine that. I love London, used to go there all the time, haven’t been there for a while now. Don’t ask my why. Just text me if you go pubcrawling with the Rob. I’ll hop on a plane then asap.;-)

          • do u have my e-mail?

  11. Morning ladies and bobbygee……just thought you might like to know the sexpender pants are back! A slightlly altered version but back nonetheless, LOL

    • Yeah I saw them too…
      He looks kinda like Cedric again or that guy he was in Vanity Fair… Look yourself
      http://thecoldshower.wordpress.com/2010/02/11/your-daily-dose-of-rob/

      • His hair is actually combed!!!

        • Really? You think so??

        • Haha, that was the first thing I saw! It’s a miracle! Praise the Rob!

    • Absolutely Fantastic:) Love the Shagbert pictures !!

  12. 4. If she looks like one of your mom’s friends, never NEVER ask how old is she, substract 20 or 30 years and run away!

    • in fact you are not supposed to ask women about her age. Especially ‘women in their forties’ hate that question… 😛

      • Not all of us! If God gives you the gift of living into your 40’s, & beyond, why not be thankful for this gift? I always want to say to those who are bashful about their age that the only way to stay 29 (or whatever) is to die young, & who wants that?

        • Wise words indeed.

    • LOL, no don’t run Tay Tay, grab a pen & paper, ask, listen, learn and then implement every sucker of a move that they suggest 🙂

    • haha or if they insist on telling you their age, just add 20 or 30 and you’ll have the right number. and another story to talk about with Tyra.

      • you got what I was refering to…

  13. Another classic from our favourite duo!

    Yep, totally agree with every point. That boy is too squeaky clean for my liking. He needs to be ruffed up a bit but not in a Sat night brawl kind of way, in a Sat night behind the dumpster LTR kind of way 🙂

    x

    • “He needs to be ruffed up a bit but not in a Sat night brawl kind of way, in a Sat night behind the dumpster LTR kind of way.”

      I’ll volunteer for that.
      It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it.

  14. […] LTR ;   LTT ;   RAoR ;   Rmw […]

  15. Thanks for the post!lol

    Rob, I ❤ you!
    me

    Happy Birthday Taylor!

    • and…off topic but I need to say THIS:

      Rob,
      I want my life back!
      YOU want your life back!
      After seeing the “spaghetti shower scene”of RM all I can say is
      …THIS will NOT gonna happen!!!
      me
      🙂

      • shower scene and Bel Ami set photos… today….. is ruined for me, but in a good way….

        • everyday’s been ruined since the Rob obsession began!

          • Amen!

      • Have you seen the cab scene?! I was just all over the screen drooling like a stupid kid… srsly.
        http://thecoldshower.wordpress.com/2010/02/11/your-daily-dose-of-rob/

        • oh god, day even more runied.

          I think I may have seen the entire film now, no need to go to the cinema. Did a really daft thing the other night, read the scrip…..well only the last 10 pages or so! Stupid (me), Stupid (me), Stupid (me)!

          • When I went to school in the morning I already saw the videos and I couldn’t concentrate at all…

          • seriously regret reading the script now
            but ya so glad this drought is over

    • Robgirl, you saw the pics from the BA set and Sarah’s comment from above? He’s got ‘sex hips with ribbons’ again!!!!

      • I know…but actually HE’s still in the shower with ME…..sigh*

        • There’s so much to take in today- RE and BA at the same time!!! Too much!

          • I kinda fear it’s going to be too much. I don’t want to much trailers flying around. Because it will spoil the movie experience imo…
            and I just can’t resist not watching it.

          • I didn’t read it… yet… but the lots of clips we get to see is almost like reading the script so…

  16. I said “Rob? Is that you? Did you see I “liked” that picture from your Picasa feed of TomStu passed out on your La-Z-Boy with a Wii controller in his hand and some crust from a Hot Pocket on his mouth?” and he said “Hey UC. Yes I did! Hey I just started following you.

    Hilar!

    • can i tell i spent WAY too much time figuring out “buzz” yesterday?

      • Yes I can and me too, I have only just woken up to Twitter and NOW THIS?!

  17. So – in the UK “suspenders” are what you know as “garters” in the UK (i.e. lingerie for ladies).

    Rob’s “suspenders” would be referred to as “braces”

    Just sayin’ 🙂 the thought of Rob in UK style suspenders kind of creeps me out.

    • thanks for the E lesson. why do I see zygote rob again?

      • Please! No mention of zygote Rob. I will now have to spend the next hour watching the RM shower scene to erase that awful mental picture.

      • Bel-ami-Rob = university-Cedric…or so
        🙂

        • Win!

    • Ha! MP and TOO- the perfect remedy to zygote Rob! The RE vid are good or goo.

    • High waisted pants! gahh…ok..right for the film…but please Rob, don’t “borrow” them!

      • didn’t we just talk about high-waisted pants the other day????

        • we did..and drsaka..his best pants are the ones loosely on his gorgeous hips, the ones that SHOW WHAT he bought at M&S!

  18. I quit reading after “I hate Lost!”

    There’s no recovery from that.

    • i heart you. i assume you saw me write that on Jan’s “buzz”
      OH WAIT. YOU DOn”T HAVE GMAIL.

      YOu & Taylor Lautner=Fail

  19. I have to remark on the toilet paper pic.

    Oh Rob, you defy description sometimes.

    • I did see that pic and all I could think of is they spent all the money on Rob’s security (and no crazy around) and there’s no more budget for Rob’s ass, hence the private underwear shopping and now that toilet paper which really doesn’t seem to be of the soft confortable type.

      • also, we had underwear Rob, Big in Japan Rob, and toilet paper Rob all in the same week.What’s next? Nekkid Rob?
        P.S. Rob, if you think that’s too much, it’s ok, you can do it only in front of me, doesn’t have to be public.

        • hey french babe, I heard “nekkid Rob”…!remember !….sharing is caring!!

      • “no more budget for Rob’s ass”….hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

      • and why wasn’t his trailer stocked with essentials? There’s no toilet paper so he had to go and lift some from somewhere else. Who did he take it from, Uma?? What if his trailer doesn’t have any Hot Pockets? He’ll starve! Maybe that’s why he gained small bit of weight, he knew that he’d be SOL with food!!!!

        • about that, i suppose that they don’t use toilets in the trailers (do they have that?) cause it’s kinda disgusting, so my question is: why did he need the toilet paper? ok i’m out. *bows head in shame*

          • honi…ask ME…it’s simple…he needs the toilet paper to make 10000 liters of COFFEE! Even no budget for the coffee filters…lol

          • I think that the trailers are like mobile homes (a brand here, Winnebago) or its like a tour bus. They have kitchens, beds, bathrooms with showers. they can be really fancy. These are provided to the actors (the important ones anyway, meaning Rob!) by the production.

            Rob should get a screen credit for this- Toilet paper wrangler.

          • That’s an interesting idea you have there robgirl…

    • what toilet paper pic????!!!
      or do i not want to know?

    • I did not see the toilet paper
      I did not see the toilet paper
      I did not see the toilet paper……..

      • yes, you did.

      • I’m just going to pretend he needed it to go pee. My 6 year old son uses one square of t.p. to wipe off the little drip when he’s done. Perhaps Rob is just very neat and clean like that?

        • Yeah, right.

    • WHAT TOILET PAPER??

  20. He forgot reason #5 to get back with Taylor Swift, which is he might be able to keep some of the ravenous cougars at bay if he appears to be in a committed relationship. Might.

    • That won’t stop them…

  21. […] LTR ;   LTT ; […]

  22. Finally finished the party post and off to overanalyze the Bel Ami pics. Do I spy toilet paper?
    p.s. forgive me but I am still in the afterglow of Monday,Tuesday, Wednesday,… well basically of all week…

  23. Don’t want to upset anyone, but the idea of those two together is just nauseating.

    Too squeaky clean……….a little too much High School Musical for my taste.

    • this was supposed to be posted as a reply to hevvybrother…..hence randomness of comment!

  24. The first pic….reminds me of “little tyke”! 🙂

    • Good call, Robgirl…I think that’s where he said it.

    • ❤ and I KNOW it…lol

  25. Oh Rob always has the best advice!

    I laughed out loud so many times while reading this in between coughing like a seal and blowing my nose…boo sickness. Nice job UC! XOXO

    • get better! XO

    • I hope you’ll feel better soon Kristin!!

  26. Go and read robs birthday card to taylor and tell me what you think…
    http://Www.thecoldshower.wordpress.com

  27. My head is really in the gutter…..I can find plenty of reasons why he would need toiletpaper, apart from needing it to go to the bathroom, if you know what I mean! He seems to be in a bit of a hurry too, to get there! Hurry Rob, they start filming in a few minutes…….
    You don’t have forever….this has to be a quicky!!!
    Apart from that I think he looks adorable! Love him in that coat.

    • oooohhh, now that’s another interpretation!

    • that’s what i was also implying in my comment earlier.great minds think alike. so proud of my good jokes. NOT AT ALL.

      • HOW did I miss this convo? Damn work getting in the way of my Robfun.

  28. LALALALA *ignoring all the (hilarious) toilet paper conspiracy theories* LALALALA, I can’t hear you!

    Just wanna dream about period costume Rob in great black dress shoes. So:LALALALA

    • I 2nd that Cath.
      This girls notice waaay to much anyway…

    • So you saw those pics from BA? Isn’t he so dreamy? Sigh.

      I was out shoveling so much snow, you “litrally” can’t even see my car. Took forever, then left then came back and went to Robsessed. I was so struck by Rob’s new pictures!!!! He looks so good-looking. Ughh. Darn you Rob, why do you do this to me? Tease me senseless and I’m all the way here in Kentucky, buried in snow.

      And what about those clips from RM? Squee!

      • They are h.o.t.!!! And this week just keeps giving and giving… and it seems to never stop. Even though I seriously hope it does cause I dont want to see the whole movie without being in the cinema…

        • Me too, I know what you mean. I need a little bit to get me going but I don’t want the movie to be spoiled for me.

          Sorry I’m a little complex.

      • Love the Bel Ami pictures SB. And good luck with all that snow, poor you! There’s snow here as well, but not as bad as that!
        And minor comfort; but I’m sure Rob would not really be a great snow shoveller. He probably would just stand there on your driveway, mumbling friendly, encouraging words while you shovel and he’s smoking a cigarette. He would have enough money to hire a guy though. 😉

        • Just saw this little video, love what Pierce said about Rob. Also heart Brosnan btw. Can’t wait for Remember Me!

          http://www.accesshollywood.com/pierce-brosnan-robert-pattinson-is-in-a-vortex-of-fame_video_1199788

        • Yeah and if Rob was here and not helping me shovel, I would srsly kick his butt, just like what I did with my younger brother(when I lived at home). 🙂

          Well tell me what you think? So I made a snowman. Is it weird that I wanted to put a cigarette in its mouth? LOL. Made me think of Rob.

          XO
          SB –ok maybe I’m having way too much cabin fever.

          • SB- you have to find something to replicate his hair!

          • ooooo- and some plaid!

        • Well I would pay someone to do it too (especially because my husband is gone for days), but no one is coming by for me to hire. So after three days of moping inside I did it. ;-).

          Anyway, it was exercise, it’s ok.

          • A snowman with a cigarette…hahaha! Now all you need is a black hat, a plaid shirt, old sneakers…And voilá, SnowRob. And then post a photo here SB!

            Also, you’re too obvious, letting Rob know that your husband is gone for a couple of days. LOL.

            (Dear Rob,

            Got the hint? SB needs a snow shoveller stat. You can also hire one and then you and her can have a meaningful conversation and some tea while admiring SnowRob. 😉

            Cheers,

            Cath)

          • Drsaka and Cath, you girls are cracking me up. Ok gonna look up old plaid(the older the better right?). He’s already wearing a beanie hat, but it’s pink and striped. LOL. So not sexy.

            We don’t have old sneakers, we throw them out when they get old. Haha.

            But I need to make the snowman bigger(twss).

            And Cath, was I that obvious!? Lol. Rob, okay get the hint, come on over and let’s chill out, “litrally.”

            My hubby will come home soon and he’s gonna see the hobolicious snowman, I wonder if he will get it? 🙂

          • please make the snowman into a Rob hobosnow man and post the pics here.

      • SB- you’re right, he does look dreamy.

        • Hey! So how do I replicate the hair? lol

          • let’s see… gold colored tinsel? Maybe something with yarn and with some yarn wrapped around wires for his messy hair? Maybe trace your fav Edward or Rob hair shape -front sides, and back on different pieces of cardboard or whatever, color or a paint in your fav Edward or Rob hair, assemble and voila!

            What do you think?

          • don’t forget the eyebrows

          • Drsaka that sounds like a lot of work. LOL.

            OK I’ll try. Thanks!

  29. …and all of a sudden the new underpants make sense too!

    • yes, they do. The TP conspiracy theories live on…..

  30. omg taylors literally a black man in that first picture lol

  31. Oh wow, he’s 18? How time flies! I remember seeing him as Sharkboy, that seemed just like yesterday!!!!

    Happy Birthday Taylor!!!! I hope you get to go home to Grand Rapids :-).

    • careful sb… The fangirl in my post wrote something just like you… Are you sure it wasn’t you? 😛

      • Hey B, I like Taylor but I’m in love with Rob. Also my parents live close to Taylor’s boyhood town, so I always think of him when I talk to my parents. My BIL is actually from the same town and that’s where he and my sister got married.

        Anyway, Taytay is cute but he’s just so young but he seems like a great guy. However my heart is already taken by a certain 23-yr-old British guy who goes by the name Georges Duroy.

        • What?! I thought he goes by the name of Robert Thomas-Pattinson… I am really disappointed sb really disappointed… 😛

          • Oh right! Haha.

            Sorry I’m just smitten over the new BA pics.

  32. All I could think about while reading this post is that photo of Kellan, Rob and Taylor – “Three guys with vastly different career paths ahead of them.”

    I am rofling over all the toilet paper comments. Poor Rob. His last shred of privacy just went right out the trailer window.

    Hey Bel Ami producers, can you not get some fcking lackey to get a roll of TP for HHH? Must he carry it in front of the paps?

    Poor Rob.

    • Rob could’ve at least put some Ray Bans on the roll of t paper. He may be okay with the photogs right there, but what about the privacy of his little white helper..?

      Second thought: Maybe he was just planning to TP Uma’s trailer later, or TomStu’s appartment. Who knows?

      • 😉

      • i think he just had to steal some, for the love nest, ahem sorry, for TomStu’s flat. he couldn’t ask his PA to bring him some, because he already asked him once the same day. they were so impressed with the underwear shopping that they forgot the TP.

      • Definitely gonna TP Uma’s trailer! Uma stole all the Hotpockets from the set and Rob was irritated.

        • You guys are hilarious. So far it’s a draw: TP Uma 1- TP Tomstu 1

          I tend towards Uma, she looks like a lady who’d enjoy a Hotpocket so now and then. And Rob would def. TP that trailer if she stole his last one for that day. But I’m sure he also brought some home to Tom…

          Still a draw then: 2-2. 🙂

          • and Tom was like, “Dude, next time make sure the contract clearly specifies the TP has to be soft and confortable. You know I’m a sensitive guy”.

  33. Taylor, Taylor. Hmmm. Trying to think of something special to say about Taylor, other than Happy Birthday, good job. Hmmm. Nope, sorry. Back to obsessing about Rob. See extended comments above re: Rob’s image, Rob’s suspenders, Rob’s toilet paper, . . .

    • Its really funny right? This was supposed to be a Taylor post and still we find a way to talk about Rob in the comments…

    • nicely put, TOO

  34. nothing to do with today’s post, but with the whole thing in general. I have a thing to do for a boss from New York and I just realised that even if I spend hours listening/writing/reading English every day with all this Rob and LTR, I forgot all my professional English vocabulary. I only know underwear, porn, toilet paper, crotch, Japan, bulge… I’m thinking of changing jobs here, another field seems more appropriate.

    • Your boss from NY will be very surprised. But also he/she may be impressed with your analytical skills as evinced by your breakdown of events like TPgate 2010.

      • haha do you think I should put LTR like a reference/portofolio on my CV?

        • yes, with % effort spent in your day (we’d all be in trouble with that!!).
          I just sent you an email.

        • Everyone here will give you brilliant references: Attention to Detail? Check. Astute Observation? Check. On-Task? Check. Breadth of Knowledge in Field? Check, check, and check!

      • that was supposed to be evidenced by-
        sorry really long day.

  35. CV should say: LTR- Specialist language course (very professionell sounding) but if they ask you to specify you’d better be prepared!

  36. That was greate…This might sound stupid but was that really from rob???oh and OMG rob is so freakin hot in the new Eclipse scene shots they have out I litterally almost fainted.And once again Kristen needs to STOP touching my british lover.lol:)

  37. umm no NOT with TS. she’s annoying as hell. susan boyle sold more records than her! and TS can’t sing and seems fake and really immature.

    that is all.

  38. […] 18 pieces of advice from Rob Pattinson to Taylor Lautner Dear Taylor Lautner, [wait! you're not on the wrong site! Keep reading….] I heard it was your 18th birthday today. […] […]


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