Posted by: Bekah | February 3, 2010

Rob Pattinson goes on The View

Dear Rob,

I hear you’re going on The View- is this true? Cause hunny, if it is…..those ladies are going to EAT you alive! You better start preparing now. Read the paper every day to catch up on your current events. Pick up a subscription to Star magazine (don’t worry- with you in hiding they haven’t had you on the cover in awhile) to make sure you know what fake but semi-true things are going on in pop culture. And Rob- whatever you do- DON’T forget to watch The View every day from now until March 2nd. You can’t rely on Emile to cover you during this promo experience. The ladies of The View are going to be SO anxious to talk to you that I wouldn’t be surprised if Emile’s morning OJ is “accidentally” spiked with some sleeping pills and she has to cancel her appearance at the last minute. They want you. And you only.

I’m not really familiar with the show. I haven’t actually seen an episode since that Lisa Ling girl left- well, until that bout of sickness I had a few weeks back when there was NOTHING left to watch on morning TV. So my experience is limited, but I’m pretty sure I can still help you out, so listen up!

Usually the gals start out the morning with rapid fire current events. So once they introduce you, strut your sexy self up to their table and flash them that dazzling Edward Cullen Robert Pattinson smile. Barbara will probably say something unintelligible in her weird accent, so just smile and nod. Or respond in some equally unintelligible weird British accent thing. Then she can smile & nod. And whatever you do, keep your eyes on above Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s shoulders. She’s still breast feeding. Yes, we know they look nice.

If I was on a show with a bunch of strong, opinionated women, I’d want to see what this new hot guy they threw in to steal my screen time knew about the day’s events. They’ll definitely ask you if you think the health care bill is dead. Just use your “I’m British and have been in London since Christmas” card on that one. You can’t use that for every answer, but in the case of politics it’s Elisabeth vs. the rest of the gals which to you translates to perky boobs v. saggy boobs. We know who you’re going to side with on that one. And you DON’T wanna cross Joy. She’ll call you an idiot. And you might cry.

They’re bound to discuss the Oscars. Here is where you can take the opportunity to mention you hope Anna Kendrick takes home the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress because “she’s a really good friend of mine.” That will hopefully get them asking about Anna and forget all the rumors they’ve heard about you and some other co-star. Watch it though- the plan could backfire because everyone knows M’onique deserves the Oscar. And then Sherri Shepard might look you square in the eye and say, “I hear you’re dating that skinny bitch who can eat anything and still be as skinny as a twig but with enough of an ass to be hot.” Sherri just lost a lot of weight. Don’t let her know you’re into really skinny chicks like Kristen. If it goes there tell them that whenever she eats a burrito you can see it over her leather pants and people think she’s pregnant. That might calm them down. Or it might not. Just try to get a copy of the stage layout before-hand so you can know at all times where the closet exit is.

Just remember what I said. Prepare, prepare, prepare. These women could talk about anything. Better pick up the latest issue of “Parenting” magazine in case they want to discuss the g-diapers. Have Dean/Steve, your security card, practice with you. Ask your mom, sisters & borrow your dad’s girlie magazines so that you can find pictures of every woman in Hollywood and rate their hottness. Think along the lines of: Reese Witherspoon- definitely hot. Octomom- wasn’t hot but is now kinda hot with her new body. Elisabeth Hasselbeck- Definitely hot. No, no! Don’t admit it. She’ll get cocky. Just flash her that dazzling Edward Cullen Robert Pattinson smile when the others ask what you think of her and say- “She seems really great!”

Follow the jump for more advice for your time on The View!

Once you move to the couch with the ladies it will get more personal. Here are some practice scenarios. Pay close attention. These scenerios are not necessarily what you SHOULD do, they are just what you will probably do:

Barbara: Rob, what was it like working with Pierce Brosnan?
Rob: It was great. He was really inspiring an taught me how to—
Barbara
: Sure sure, but were you intimated by his good looks?
Rob
: um… not really…. I mean it wasn’t like—
Barbara
: Why not!? He WAS James Bond… I interviewed him once and he was just so charming. So delightful. He really was a beautiful man. It’s unbelievable how one can be so handsome on screen but in person be that much more gorgeous. I got lost in his eyes when we were discussing his life as 007…….(far off look)
Rob: (gulp) Um…. okay…..

Try this instead:

Barbara: Rob, what was it like working with Pierce Brosnan?
Rob: Very intimidating. he’s the most handsome man on the planet. Hey- didn’t you interview him once?
Barbara: why yes, I did. How did you know that?
Rob: He told me. Actually, he told me to tell you to give him a call….

Joy: Rob I hear you have a lot of crazy menopausal fans out there
Rob: No, I think most of my fans are young teenagers, enamored with the idea of me as Edward
Joy: I’m not so sure about this. I heard about something….. something called… The Office?
Rob: (Blushes with recognition)
Joy: I can assure you they are NOT teen fans. And the ones who read my writings aren’t either— oops
Rob: What? Wait… Are you….. joyslashedward? Writer of “Forever isn’t long enough to love you, so let’s do it right now and die in the middle of an orgasm?”
Joy: You’ve read it!?! (eyes lighting up)
Rob: NO.. I mean.. I heard.. maybe… someone sent it to me, but I just read the title- I wouldn’t.. I don’t… No…

Elisabeth: So Rob, how do you think Obama is doing as president
Rob: Um, well, I’m not exactly sure because he isn’t MY president, but he seems nice enough….
Elisabeth: (stroking Rob’s arm, fluttering her eyes) Rob are you SURE about that?
Rob: (eyes drift down past her shoulders for the first time) Uh…….
Elisabeth: Are you stopping over at Fox News during this press tour at all?
Rob: Uh…….I don’t think so…..
Elisabeth: What about Rush? Are you stopping by there?
Rob: The band!? They have a talk show!? That’s great! I hope that Summit adds them—-
Elisabeth: (Frowns) No, Rush Limbaugh………(removes her arm, pulls up her shirt to hide her cleavage)

Whoopi: Rob why aren’t you talking to me? Don’t you know who I am?”
Rob: Sorry.. you weren’t on my flash cards….
Whoopi: I’m Whoopi Goldberg! I hosted the Oscars before!
Rob: Oh…
Whoopi: I was in Jumpin’ Jack Flash! And Sister Act
Rob: Oh! I’ve seen that one! It takes place in a convent, right? With the Von Trapp Family?

Practice makes perfect Rob…Good Luck!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Our internet game is still ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter

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Responses

  1. I am scared for him……but I know he will win them over wit his Brit charm and self depraction…..and AMAZING goo looks……….

    Won’t he?

    • *with* *depracation* *good* …….sorry!

      Still a bit scared for him………

      🙂

      • i know a girl who’s gonna LOVE that you said “goo”
        wait for it….

    • #Goo is soooo much better than #Good. just sayin!

      • Amen! Wasn’t this Pauleta’s gift to us all?

    • Yes! UC forgot that those bitches will be so dazzled by Rob, they’ll forget to ask him any intelligent questions. They’ll be head over heels. But the guest is really on for the whole hour??? I need to watch this show tomorrow and see what Rob’s up against. (that’s what she said) Who the eff talked him into this??? And have you guys heard about the sexy Details photo shoot Rob did?? It’s coming out in a month….the month of March may kill me.

  2. I foresee lots of Rob blushing, nervous giggling and his embarrassed face. Can’t wait!

    • I foresee for some crazy HAIR-action….and some extra “learned-for the show” embarrassing jokes…., some ideas?

      • Since these ladies are not known for being really ‘with it’, I’m sure that there is going to be a rehash of all the usual topics. But they do tend to get feisty (and loudly argumentative) and will probably make Rob more self conscious than he already is!

        As TLG says below, Barbara Walters (who is going to be 81 in September) tends to make inappropriate remarks (of a sexual nature). Well, Rob does appeal to woman of all ages!

    • Does anyone know if the show is live or taped? If it’s live, omg…!

  3. I am sure he will dazzle them with his beautiful smile, lovely hair and clean, modern clothes (dressed by a stylist)…then he will answer their questions very eloquently with no “I dunnos or umms”. Then he will break out his guitar and sing them “Never Think” while the whole crowd swoons over him…..yeah right…..it will be a disaster.

    • so true…”dazzled-by-Rob” grown-up women are the REAL disaster!!!lol

    • I feel like it might be disastrous as well. Here’s hoping that he proves us wrong!

    • The crowd will probably scream the whole time! I bet they will be mostly women.

  4. Unfortunately I have no clue about all these ladies…..UC…what do YOU think?

    Will THEY BE prepared prepared prepared to SEE and HEAR ROB?

    I mean…ME was NOT, so…..

    🙂

    • lol I don’t think they have a clue about his “interview style” (or shall I say lack of), but at least he is adorkable and we still love him for these quirks….but NO they can never be prepared….and Robgirl I was not either….sigh.

      • misty..as I said..I have no clue about this show…we will see….me has a good..lol..feeling ❤

  5. I haven’t read any fanfic myself, but I love the thought that Rob has read it all. I wish I was there to see his reaction – and, in case he… you know… feels like re-enacting certain bits…

    • Yeahh! No Fanfiction Reader! You are the coolest. Although, I must agree the thought of him reading made up stories about himself, seems pretty funny.

  6. I wasnt till now but…

  7. I hate the View. Actually I’ve never really given it a chance, but I’m pretty sure I hate it. I think I’ll have to make an exception for this though.
    Also, I heard he’s gonna be on Fallon too. I’m actually kind of excited for that one (not that I’m not excited for this one too), because I love Jimmy’s “Robert is Bothered” segments.

    • Jess,

      I 2nd everything you said.

      I think the View is completely obnoxious. I like Whoopie, but I can’t stand how they talk over each other.

      Rob will charm their pants off, as per usual.

      • …but I wouldn’t miss this for anything.

        • I’m thinking that if we would miss it because of our hatred of the show itself, we probably don’t belong at LTR 🙂

          I’m also thinking that he could probably just sit there with tousled hair and a borrowed, maybe-clean plaid shirt and everyone would be completely content.
          Five obnoxious women and Rob though.. I hope his bodyguard will be standing by.

      • Totally obnoxious, I agree! But I’ll watch it just to see Rob.

        Looking forward to it and perhaps some word vomit.

        And I’m excited for him to be in the Jimmy Fallon show! That would be hilarious, especially considering those “bothered” skits he made.

        • Yeah SB, Jimmy Fallon’s got the potential to be really funny…
          Yay! for YouTube! I love those bothered skits…Would be awesome if they’re were going to sit in that tree together…I would die laughing!

          I’m only familiar with The View trough internet, they tried out a show with the same format in my country, which failed bad…I like Whoopi, know Walters from interviews, but think she should think about retiring…haha…

          • Cath,
            It “fails bad” here, too…in my opinion.

          • I believe you Lion, and in the meanwhile I’m wondering of one of them will ask him to bite her…Well, they won’t do that…They can’t be that out of sync…

          • All this talkshow talk makes me wonder or Oprah ever did something Twilight related. I mean, Twimoms are also part of her demographic…Rob’s been on Ellen twice, never on Oprah…Just curious why she didn’t tap in to the whole Twilight thing…
            (It’s all just because of my professional interest in media…sorry…)

          • I was just telling a friend that I wish he would go to Oprah instead.

            Did you see the interview on the Tyra show in 2008? She asked Rob to bite her and he did!!!! Oh my gosh.

          • The closest Oprah has gotten to a Rob interview was last November when SMeyer was interviewed. Stephanie spoke of how unique Rob is/was and that when you walk with him on the street (pre Twi) people turn their heads to look.

            I’ll bet they do.

            I’m sure you can google it.

            hugs,
            lion

          • To ML: Maybe this is just me, but my first thought when I read that (about people turning their heads when you walk with him on streets) is why was SMeyer walking with him on the street?
            That seems weird. I can’t really picture them like.. hanging out.

          • Thank Lion! Hugs back to you! Didn’t knew about that interview with Meyer. Will check it out! And yeah, I would turn my head as well when I’d see Rob pre-fame. Hey, I’d probably turn around and go wherever he was going, like a puppy…And then ask him to marry me…Uhm, yeah…;-)

            And SB, I know the Tyra interview…LOL that he just DID grant her request. You never know what he’ll do next…Love that. It made me cringe a little, but secretly jealous ofcourse…

          • ML -I remember the SM interview but it was Rob I truly wanted to see, no offense. I love SM and her books. But I’m gaga over Rob.

            Cath – I was jealous when he bit Tyra and I screamed so loud! I don’t know I was giddy and jealous at the same time. Rob was having a hard time keeping a straight face. Anyway, Tyra totally milked it.

          • Jess,

            When SM described the “Rob outing” I guess it was just for lunch to discuss the movie, prolly with other cast members…something very non-intimate…

            xoxo
            lion

          • @ cath
            off topic, kinda.
            found out last week that one of the very succesfull shows in Holland is a reality show on sex and drugs. all sorts of drugs.

  8. This sounds similar to ‘Loose Women’ in England. Not somthing I’d watch under normal circumstances, but for Rob……….

    • Yes I would certainly watch “Loose Woman” for Robert……but still be scared for him……

    • …don’t know about the show…but I can really relate to “loose woman for Rob” and with “for” I might mean “under” 🙂

      • hahaha

      • I ❤ you!

  9. Let’s face it, he will be jizzing in his pants the entire time…..

    x

    • maybe peeing 🙂
      Remember that he’s prone to having ‘a little bit coming out of his pants’!

      • what!

        • It was the last MTV video music awards (the infamous royal blue 80’s jacket) and when he accepted an award, he said some thing like ‘I don’t know how many more of these I’ll be able to come up here for, because I’ve got a little bit coming out of my pants’. Of course, he didn’t specify WHAT was coming out of his pants- there are a few options!

          • dear lord…what a thing to say….heehee. just love him.


          • not the best vid, but you’ll get the idea

          • thanks for the link, will look later – big meeting about to start so am stealth posting whilst looking interested in what’s going on! Don’t think watching youtube vid is going to go down too well! 🙂

          • LOL, just LOL…hahaha…Love unedited Rob…

          • Blimey! What possessed him to say that????? heehee In what universe would that sentence work……god I just love him

          • That’s a good part of our fascination with him, Mine!
            Why does he do and say the things he does and we WANT to know why!!!
            Its enthralling.

      • HAHA! Yes I remember. I cringed and laughed so hard when he made that comment during the MTV awards.

  10. He’s never been briefed like that before. Since he doesn’t have a PR and the Summit crazy is busy screaming right and left, the “brief” consists of Nick telling Rob, “No you can’t put these jeans on, they have curious white stains. And the shirt doesn’t do it either, wine stain.” Fallows a long desperate search for 2 black almost matching socks and then finally, the actual brief, Nick-style: “Keep it short, we have no time”.
    This show seems really promising.
    Oh, and Rob, it’s time you have/express an opinion on social subjects.

    • ….like ME!!!and say it out LOUD!
      🙂

      • social subjects like you??? 🙂
        I think we could enter the psycho subjects category.

  11. The ladies from “The View” make me dread growing old. I hope being a f*cktard isn’t associated with being a middle-aged women, because these women are short-sighted, sanctimonious hoe bags with outdated views… Even so, they are probably going to eat Rob alive.

    • “The View make me dread growing old?” YOu nailed it, Vi!

      I sure hope Rob is lurking today. He needs to know about the “santimonious hoe bags with oudated views.”

  12. I actually did squee when I read he was going on the View. It should be totally awesome because that group of ladies is totes batshit crazy. Joy will DEFINITELY try to touch his hair. And if Barbara is on that day, she’ll prolly make some really awful sexually-charged remark. Happens with every young hot star (there’s prolly a YouTube of her with Efron). Now, with Emilie being with him, it’ll definitely be easier on him but there will most def. be some 2nd hand embarrassing thing to happen. Can’t wait!!

    LOVED the Manips. Especially the one with Barbara!! Made my day.

    • I can’t wait to hear what Barbara has to say!!!! And Joy is always so snarky, rawr. LOL.

      Rob might need his mommy with him. Well, at least Emilie will be there with him. She can be the buffer, sort of.

    • Maybe he should just go ahead and give Baba WaWa a nice tongue-lashing. That might leave her so stunned she forgets her inane questions.

      • Did you just say *tongue lashing* I’m quite sure that she certainly would be speechless after that. I know I would be. Or did you mean a conversation?

        • I was thinking about the manip up there in the post . . . and yeah, I would be speechless too.

  13. I heard about this through Twitter via GossipCop.
    I am preparing for MAYJAH second-hand-embarrassment.
    Oy.

  14. The barbara wha wha would love the tongue in the ear. Great pick. I love the one with Liz and Rob..Oh what a hoot. The burrito is great too. Call the gas man. http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/

    • Gas Man!!!! You’re hilarious!

      Love the manip with Rob leering at Hasselbeck’s chest.

  15. Hey, you know what??? I think that this is an excellent opportunity!!! For….. word vomit!!!

    I think that they are going to get him so flustered that the minimal brain to mouth filter that he’s got going now will completely disintegrate and we’ll get to see the Rob of the early interviews!!!!!!

    Oh please, oh please, oh please!

    • We can only hope.Maybe that’s why Emilie is on with him-to kick him under the table if he starts to say something ridiculous, scatalogical or incriminating.

      • Let’s hope that she has slow reflexes!

    • Drsaka, you are so right on. I occasionally catch a few mins in the morning whilst folding clothes but as I’ve previously stated, I have a low embarrassment threshold so I have to turn it after a minute or two. I will dvr Rob’s interview so I can stop it if I need to.

      • I find this show really uncomfortable anyway with the same argument that they have every freaking day (I can make up my own mind, thx very much).

        But its a platinum opportunity for observing awkward, flustered Rob, so I’ll be grateful now!

        • Ok so what I get from your convo is that it’s a kind of embarassing show for stupid people. Thean why is he doing it? I mean I know Michelle Obama was on the show but she needs to be close to the people.
          But I’m looking forward to it, since it’s apparently a mine for word vomit!!! Here’s to some good Robisms.

          • Mp, he’s going on it because Summit wants the minivan majority to go see Remember Me and they don’t realize just how many already are obsessed with him.

          • Its a very popular show and as TLG says, the main viewership are not the tween girls (which everyone still apparently thinks that his fan base is, I agree TLG).

            This is just my opinion, but I’m not fond of the show.

          • TLG – LOL on the minivan minority! Hey I drive a minivan! 🙂

          • The View-an Embarrassing Show for Stupid People. Mornings on ABC!

            Perfect tagline Minuit.

          • SB, I totally put myself in The View’s demo, even if I don’t watch it. And even though I don’t drive a mini-van (like Edward, I drive a silver Volvo; unlike Edward, mine goes slooooowly).

            I just think there are a LOT in the that demo – 30 somethings who buy laundry detergent – who are closeted Rob fans.

            Ahem. I may or may not be referring to myself here.

          • TLG, haha you know lots of my friends and even siblings give me grief over my minivan that’s why I said that. LOL. I don’t mind. I have a Honda too but the minivan is great! I like the feeling of driving a large vehicle on the road. Maybe next one will be a Hummer? LOL

            And I’m not old. :-).

            Ditto on the laundry detergent. I got a stockpile of those in the basement.

          • I love this convo about huge cars…. makes me think of our gas price here 😦 I guess my next car will be a bicycle!!!

          • I ❤ the bike comment!!

          • Thanks for the explanation.

            @ TLG
            The minivan majority 🙂
            I think Rob is as crazy as Summit for not anticipating the huge succes of RM. Because he is in the position to negotiate and say what he doesn’t want to do.

            @ dazzeled
            Are u working in advertising?

            @sb
            I thought washing machines had incorporated detergent, just as Rob thought hair washed itself (cf a Twilight interview).

            @robgirl & ml
            Here’s for the bikes. I don’t even have a car, really don’t need/want it in the city.

            @ draska
            nothing. just wanted to say i ❤ you.

    • Oh, please. They’ll be cackling the whole time and he won’t even get a word in!

  16. I hope Barbara goes for the kill and presses the Kristen issue. If anyone can get an answer, she can-she makes people cry.

    I’m more excited for Jimmy Fallon-I’ve wanted to see them together ever since he started Robert is bothered. And I got tickets yesterday-woohoo!

    • Yeah me too! Fallon is super cute! I can’t wait to see it – I hope he gets Rob up in the tree to do a ‘Robert is Bothered’ actually by Rob – that would be totally amazeballs.

      Did you get tickets to actually go and see that one being taped live??

      • To get Rob up in the “Rob is Bothered” tree would be the pinnacle of achievement for Fallon. I so hope it happens.

        • I really need to see him up that tree – it’s been a while since I’ve seen evidence that Rob has a good sense of humour…

    • That should be a really fun show! You must bring back an extremely detailed report!

    • what’s this ‘rob is bothered’? stuff….clearly I’m not a very good Robfan and seem to have missed this one. But in my defense I am quite new to all things Rob.

      • They’re a series of skits on the Jimmy Fallon show that impersonating/making fun of Rob and Edward and how he looks bothered by all sorts of stuff, shark week, Snickers bars, Halloween etc.

      • Robertisbothered.com I believe.

        • There they are, the skits! Thx!

      • You should check it out, it’s so hilarious. I’m so glad those two will be in the same room, maybe they can re-enact some scenese!!! LOL

        • “scenes” sorry!

    • Off topic but I had to share. I took a look on Robsessed at the comments for the post about Bel-Ami, see if there’s any additional info from tweet (stalkers) fallowers and I found a treasure. Disturbing but hilarious. Spoiler : very “fine” psychology from another planet, turns out Rob was traumatised as a kid, has serious problems with nudity plus the usual hardcore : OMG he’s working too much, a lot of concern for his (mental) health and “some leave the rob alone” lobbying. Better than anything I’ve seen in the fandom!!! I just don’t know if I can consider myself sane for having read it, but it was just too good. Surreal!!!
      PS. Of course this is not about the blog, that I check religiously everyday, it’s about the fandom who never fails at freaking me out.

      • ew, that was supposed to show up in a separate post topic but i guess i screwed up.

        • MP, you’re still sane. Very sane.
          I lurk and occasionally post on Robsessed.
          Gozde does a great job with the blog and there is always yummy Robporn, but some of the posters are just nuts.
          I got attack because I dared to say that I didn’t support the “Respect Rob” video, that if Rob was in trouble/danger he has good people around him to help. Rob doesn’t need our protection. Apparently that meant I wasn’t a “true” fan.
          One loon actually said that they should organise and wear Rob masks to throw off the paps. HA! I can’t even picture that kinda crazy.

          SB – I try to sty away from Ted’s board. I followed a link to the recent discussion and couldn’t read past the first 50 comments.

        • so minuit…after reading that…would you please be so kind to revoke your comment above about ME/US in the psycho category? merciiiiiiiiii ❤
          P.S. Don't care b/c the words… Rob and nudity………….faint 🙂

          • You’re in the psycho category? LOL

      • If you want to see pure crazy, check out the comments on Ted Casablanca’s Awful Truth column. Scary-death wishes on Rob, really out there conspiracy theories. I thank God for LTR when I see stuff like that.

        • Um, the last part of my previous comment was meant for Dazzled.

      • Also off topic, but final cast for bel ami now confirmed. Phillip Glenister to play Forestier. Just love this man, will always be DCI Hunt, DCI Gene Hunt in my eyes. Best all time British TV show – ‘life on mars’ and ‘ashes to ashes’, the most desireable unattractive man ever! ………RP and Glenister in the same film……will be smiling all the way to the box office.

        Sorry everyone, back on topic now.

      • When I feel a little too crazy, I just go out and read some comments at AT…
        I pretty soon feel remarkable sane again…haha…
        Now my new guilty pleasure is the Nonstenpage…lurking there…Have to say the Nonstens make a lot of sense…I’m starting to think I’m a closeted Nonsten…Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking on my part…

        Anyhoodle, read there the posts of THE BIG Robsten cult leader(some may know who I mean…I dare not speak the name, she who must not be named…) with a members only site…ladies, that scares me. A LOT. Why are people so invested in that???)

        The shippers are disturbing. And amusing. But more disturbing than amusing nevertheless…

        • Cath now I’m so curious who’s the leader.

          • SB, she’s called Delaney and all the things DTD said…It would be kind of awesome if it wouldn’t be so creepy. All these people wanting to be reassured that Robsten still are doing well…
            She supposedly works in ‘The Industry’…And has insider sources who know Rob and K better than they know themselves…
            On the Nonstenboard there’s a hilarious discussion about some of her posts, like when Ted C reported that R and K were on a sort of on break…She immediately goes in reassurance mode…And also hilarious is the fact that she went all out of her way to warn the Robstenites about the scandalous, shocking upcoming Details magazine shoot. The one he shot with some nude models…hahaha…(Like that is something to worry about…Only that one wasn’t one of those LUCKY models…) She was telling them that they needn’t worry, Rob had been very uncomfortable during the shoot (Because you know he only has eyes for his true love Kstew)…But that Kstew had been okay with it…

            Really, it’s HIGHlarious…Anyhoodle, you can find one of her latest posts here;http://www.nonsten.com/the-super-shipper-t140-1275.html

          • Cath, thanks for the information! Holy crap!!!! LOL.

        • I know! I kept seeing Her name pop up and looked for her blog out of curiosity-members only!haha. Very exclusive club, the Robstens.She is the High Holy Robsten Priestess. Amazing how people will believe someone when they don’t even know who the hell she is.

          • HA! I didn’t know such boards and a Delaney existed. This shit is too funny. Imma have to check it out.

      • @ Jules
        Trust this is way better than « Leave the Rob alone ». I’m talking about KStew being a kind of gift from Gawd 🙂 to Rob. I also sometimes want just to post what I think but I don’t want to be responsible for anyone’s suicidal or smth :), things seem tweed serious in their world.

        @Robgirl
        Please excuse me. What was I thinking?
        Btw, you know I was speaking about my fav commenter. The girl’s got talent.

        @dazzeled
        You mean there’s worst? I revoke all my jokes about Rob and the bodyguards.

        @ cath
        I know delanay’s tweets, but what site are you talking about?

        • Minuit,
          This is the site with the reposts of Delaney’s rants.

          http://www.nonsten.com/

        • MP- after I went over there to check things out. I saw the post of which you speak, holy hell. Pure psycho gold. Apparently Rob was also yelled at (WTF) by his dad and he needs Daniel Day Lewis as his role model. ’cause he needs someone to teach him how to decompress.
          You should post. It’ll be great to have a new voice in the mix.

    • You got tickets to see the Jimmy Fallon show live? How? Where?

      • Just go to the website for the show and call the number. If they have tickets you’ll get an email confirming your reservation.

    • Yeah me too…at least it will be more laid-back, which is more his style….

  17. Hilarious post! I can’t wait to see this. I don’t watch The View, but I will on 3/2.

  18. UC – YOU WIN! Today is definitely LTR gold.
    Personally, I despise The View, but I will be DVR’ing this episode. You know they’re going to pull out the Robsten card, and the only thing funnier than KStew stuttering and dodging questions about it is Rob stuttering and dodging questions 🙂
    Dear Ladies of The View,
    If you can get Rob (or Emile, for that matter) to tell us what the hell Remember Me is about, I would watch your show every day for a week to show my gratitude.
    Thanks,
    Poochi

  19. I thought the first two manips were hilarious, but the last two fucking killed me! Bahahahah!

    I’m honestly nervous for the poor boy. I hope he just smiles and nods a lot. And licks his lips like LL a lot. Mmmm…

    Great letter, btw. 🙂

    • Brilliant manips! I wanna know though, who’s shoes are that in picture #1? :p

      • whoops. #2 that is

        • I loved the stray shoes. 😀

  20. UC this is so hilarious!

    I thought about the same thing when I heard he’s gonna be in The View! Those women will eat him alive! Haha, yes Rob definitely needs to be ready. Either that or when they ask him a question, they’ll end up interrupting him and he’s saved.

    Love your comment about Elisabeth, so true! Yes ladies, breastfeeding does make your looks bigger, I did it!

    • Can you convince your boobs that they need to be ready to breast feed if you’re neither pregnant nor given birth? Just wondering… for a …friend. Yeah. A friend of mine wants to know. She heard Rob likes the boobies.

      • Haha, well when I was pregnant they got very big(and trust me I had small ones). But once you start breastfeeding when they start filling out with milk, they will get very big and heavy. Something to look forward to huh!? LOL

        Tell your friend a breast implant might work for her or get pregnant! 🙂

  21. I forgot to mention…

    But I think he will dazzle them to death, because no one is immune to the charms of Robert Pattinson!

  22. I’ve ony seen the View once, to see my pre-Rob celeb obsession, Dr. McDreamy. Patrick did OK with those girls (whoever it was at the time). I didn’t like the show at all, never watched it again, but I will be tuning in on March 2nd cause HHH will be there. I’d even watch Glenn Beck to see Rob.

    • I’ve never watched the View-I’ve only seen clips on the Soup. The word that comes to mind when I think of the view is yenta.

      And I can’t stand Elizabeth Hasselbeck. Please don’t do her the honor of looking at her boobs, Rob. Ignore her. Or talk about how much you love Obama.

      • Ditto on the Elizabeth H. comment.

    • Milfy,

      I ❤ you for the Glenn Beck comment.

  23. My biggest hope is that Emilie’s 2nd hand embarassed looks are half as good as Kristen’s. I need some eye rolling, scoffing, head shaking, as Rob’s lays the charm on thick for the ladies of The View while nervously giggling and shifting all at the same time.

  24. I apologize if someone said this already, but that pic of Rob checking out Elizabeth’s rack is the BEST. MANIP. EVER.

    • I loved that one! Such a guy!

  25. It doesn’t surprise me Rob is going to be on a show named “The View”, makes total sense to me. I don’t know any of these women (apart from Whoopi), but I’d totally buy a halogen oven and a unisex wolf spirit jacket from that Barbara woman.

  26. Like every guest on that show, Rob will not be able to get a word in edgewise.

    • Very true!

    • I am so embarrassed by American tv.

      Dear Rob,
      We are not all like the hags on “The View.”

      hugs,
      lion

      • I think that kind of TV is elsewhere (here!) pretty much the same…..who cares? …as I said your oil prices are way better!!!

        hugs to lion
        me

      • Rob knows better Lion. And also all of the awesome American series make up for crappy shows like that…:)

      • Hahah yeah Rob!

        We do have good ones, don’t you worry!

  27. In the second manip Rob looks like he has no thighs and his hips are attached to his knees. Made me giggle. Sure did.

    • I just went back and looked at it.
      You’re so right. I giggled too.

  28. I’ve never commented on LTR. I stick to LTT. Not exactly a Rob fan. Anyway, that was HILAR. Will definitely try to watch this episode of The View.

    P.S. That pic of Rob and Barb, BRAIN BLEACH, PLEASE!!!

    • Wait, what?!
      Me Rob fan. Me like to see Rob’s tongue.
      😀

  29. You all DO realize he’s going to be rocking Bel Ami scruff/beardstache, right?

    Looking older than 23… surrounded by cougars, pumas & a saber tooth… fresh off a 3-week shoot where he’s sexin’ up a bunch of older women… I think we’re all going to see some big time Rob-flirting & knocking those women on their hormonal asses!

    Personally, I can’t wait for all the new fantasy material I’m going to see & hear coming out of that gorgeous mouth! RAWR!

    • YOu are so right, KittTatt. Of course, that, right…he will be sporting some whiskers…

      meow

      • I’m purring already! lol

  30. “perky boobs v. saggy boobs.” You kind of Rule, you and Moon both.

    We are all goo.

  31. That Rob picture licking Bawbwa Wawa is going to scar me for life!!!!

  32. Oh my goodness. I was cracking up before I even read the post. Those pictures are fantastic. Seriously.

  33. […] LTR ; LTT ; RaoR ; Rmw ; […]

  34. Only the pictures deserve an A plus, although I have to admit that the Rob licking Barbara Walters is disturbing…

    Barbara: Rob, what was it like working with Pierce Brosnan?
    Rob: Very intimidating. he’s the most handsome man on the planet. Hey- didn’t you interview him once?
    Barbara: why yes, I did. How did you know that?
    Rob: He told me. Actually, he told me to tell you to give him a call….

    Priceless!

    I vote for fierce Rob, taking over the reigns. (I know, it’s not going to happen, he’ll will just dazzle them with Robcharm instead)

  35. The View? Is that the one with all those loud ladies?

    Oh my! I wonder what dormant feelings/sensations he’ll awaken in them….this will be the equivalent of a volcano erupting!

    I say we need to come (twss) together for a good cause.
    “Lovely ladies of the LTR community, Rob needs our protection!!”

    Cause nobody loves him like we do… =)

  36. Off Topic, but so worth it:

    Mark Segal photoshoot back online:
    http://www.lionandlamblove.org/gallery/displayimage.php?album=1843&pos=21

    That picture alone; In the love of Rob, have mercy…

    *drool*

    • Also I’d like someone to clone this particular version of Rob for my personal use:http://www.lionandlamblove.org/gallery/displayimage.php?album=1843&pos=35

      I literally bit my fingers when I saw that one…Had to…Makes me think of the Wicked Games song…OK, will throw some cold water over myself, way too Robxited…(will stop now ;-))

      • Ok that pic makes me want to jump his bones.

        Sorry. 😉

      • Cath~
        Um….thank you.

        *breathing hitched*

        lol

      • Gah!!

    • drool…drool…

      That vest is wardrobe fail BUT I’ll pretend his pants are part-way off because he had to stop and crack his knuckles before undressing to get in my bed. Yeah, Normal.

    • day ruined again………………god he is ‘the man’

    • I love it, thanks Cath! I have some of these saved on my robporn already but he always takes my breath away no matter how many times I’ve seen them!]

      *sigh*

      Off to daydream about Rob.

  37. Here’s the way I see it going down (ok, so it’s a fantasy of what I WANT to see).
    Elisabeth Ikeamatress (seriously, my mattress from Ikea is called a Hasselback) askes Rob some politcal question and suddenly Rob pulls out his acoustic guitar from behind the couch and lapses in to a heart swelling rendition of
    “I Ain’t no republicrat, no demmican, they ain’t nuthin in between.
    I’m sick of people talking about American dreams -that’s all gone.
    Ain’t nothin there for me cause me you see I’m nuthin.
    I ain’t left, I ain’t right.
    People say I’m wrong before I was born.
    It was all gone.
    Don’t even make sense that I wrote this song.
    Cause me you see I’m nuthin, I’m nuthin…” and puts Ethan Hawke to shame (PS – Rob’s a better vampire too)

    PPS – I’m not dising Ethan Hawke. I’m praising Rob by comparing the two.

    • PPPS – I just REALLY want to see Rob sing/play guitar/piano again. It’s so unbelievable sexy!!!

    • Elisabeth Ikeamatress (seriously, my mattress from Ikea is called a Hasselback)

      awesome nickname for her, really funny

  38. As much as I hate the View, especially Ms. Elizabitch, I won’t miss this one. I hope the ladies are nice and don’t make him cry or wet his pants.

    UC – still thinking Rob needs to hire you. You would do a great job protecting him.

  39. Dear Moon,
    I feel seriously honoured you visited my blog today. I don’t know if you knew that yet, but I love your blog. Hard (twss).
    Thank you soooo freakin’ much and stop by on other days eventually.

    Love,
    Me

  40. I can’t wait for the laughing-nervously-hand-running-through-hair-look-turns-to-blank-stare-while-listening-to-question face. It happens so fast! He concentrates really hard on the questions like their in Tagalog. It’s soo cute!!

    Probably thinking of an answer that doesn’t accidently involve robsten stuff.

    Hooray for embarrassment!

    • Hi Maihuni… may I know your nationality? mwahhhhh…

  41. I think it will be interesting to see what nervous randomness pops out of his mouth on there. I cant stand Hassleback. I seriously want to bitch slap her through the tv almost every show. I follow Sherri on twitter- I forwarded this to her, wonder if shell actually check it out haha. She responds to me every now and again so that would be kind of funny.

  42. I never heard of this show. Never in my entire life. But it sounds like lots of fun so I might give it a shot…

    • Its kind of a drag, but any Robviewing is worth it.

  43. Ohhhhh Elizabeth got salted by Rob… \o/ yey!

    that’s salted, not assaulted, btw. Don’t touch her, Rob. She has the coodies :-/

  44. Love (a.k.a Rob),

    Do not panic! You have read the comments of all those beautiful ladies above and no matter how awkward, uncomfortable, and lost you look, we will still love you.


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