Posted by: themoonisdown | January 25, 2010

Rob’s Mailbag: An indecent proposal and a bad kisser?

Hey Rob wake up! You've got fainmail! ROB... rob... nevermind

Dear Rob,

We here at Letters to Rob were cleaning our your mailbag this weekend (it’s getting kinda low, shhh it’ll be ok) and noticed you’ve received a couple letters we think it’s time for you to address. So like any good interns we’ll be showing you your mail while your face down in the couch passed out after an all night bender with the boys now that KStew’s off being a snow bunny in Park City and then we’ll writing back to your adoring fans and forging your signature… you know, what all normal interns do. So here we go…


My Dearest Rob,

This is what we put on Rob when he orders take out

I would like to take a moment to kindly remind you that you could have almost any woman on this planet. Just in case ya forgot, ya know?  Seriously though, I would take off all my clothes right now and do totally immoral things to you if you asked (PLEASE ASK). And those that say they don’t want you, they do, they just don’t know it yet. Trust me, I was once one of them. So anywho, the fact that you could be bangin’ oh IDK maybe a total hottie like Megan Fox me, but instead choose to bang a socially awkward, stuttering 19 year old that sports a mullet on top of the body of a 12 year old boy, disappoints me greatly. To be quite frank, I look better than her after 26 years and birthing a child. Epic fail on your part. So whenever you come to your senses and decide that you want need to raise your standards, give me a ring. I’ll be waiting.

Your Future Baby Momma (Crystal)

P.S. I vaguely remember you saying in an interview that you would consider following in Ashton Kutcher’s footsteps. In case you didn’t catch on earlier Rob, let me point out that I am 3 years older than you. Wait, would I be considered a TwiMom then?  Eww, I’m not sure how I feel about that. Why don‘t we just start a new category, how about TwiMILF? Yeah, I totally dig that. I stole the words right out of your mouth didn’t I? Boy do I Love you Rob. Damn you.

P.S.S. I totally wasn’t kidding when I said PLEASE ASK.

Dear Crystal,

Maybe you will be my baby mama after this weekend of Kristen gallivanting around Sundance talking to men NOT wearing plaid shirts OR named Robert Pattinson. Hmmmphhh. And these immoral things you speak of, can I ask? Are you willing to write down a detailed description of each act. Do these acts involve melted chocolate or bowls of cinnamon toast crunch? Perhaps you’ll be blind folded with the sleeve of my plaid shirt?

There’s one stipulation to this whole Ashton Kooooocher thing, will I have to get a twitter and annoy the hell out of everyone with my tweets about YOU (my Demi)? Cause if so then I may have to look for a different Demi, but if not, I’m asking. and I’m NOT kidding. Or drunk. Maybe.


Follow the cut to read the rest of Rob’s mail and to see if you agree is Rob a bad kisser?

The patented nose smoosh-mouth-breather

Dear Rob,

Robsten is either Nonsten or Sucksten. Because you and Kristin kissing = fail. Seriously, you kissed like five times or something like that and each time it was like they A) had never kissed anyone before or B) really didn’t want to kiss each other. For two people who are allegedly going out in real life, they suck at kissing. I said it and I stand by it: Rob, you’re a bad kisser.

The beginning few kisses of the movie made sense because they were filled with longing tainted by the poison of Edward’s leaving, but the kiss when Bella saves Edward totally tanked. They could not have been standing any farther apart, like Rob said to himself “fine, I’ll kiss her, but only enough to make it technically count- there’s no way I’m tongue-raping her.” And lets face it ladies, we needed to see some tongue-rape. At least with Taycob, you could imagine their kiss (damn them for teasing us) and you knew Jacob wouldn’t be stingy about it. I think I’m officially team Jacob/Taylor now. If a guy ever tried to kiss me like Robward did, he’d so get the boot, even if he was America’s Most Wanted.

Other than that, I LOVED the movie!!!!! SO epic. …. except the frolicking vision of Bella as a vamp, WTF?

With love,

This is the man who taught me everything

Dear K (wait, is this Kristen?),

If I’m sure a bad kisser than blame Tom Sturridge, I mean he’s the one who taught me everything I know. I was nervous about having to do my first on screen kiss a couple years ago so after a like 5 beers and whining about it Tom just planted one on me and well, the rest is history. He taught me the pained-eyebrow scrunch, the moan-pant, the reluctant side step, AND the “wet blanket” tongue move. Seriously, is it THAT bad and why do you have to bring it up in such a public forum, like this blog about Letters to ME! Talk about a boner killer.

I hope you’re living it up with that 30 Seconds to Toolbag guy at Sundance cause I called up Tom and guess what, we’re going back to that bar and we’re gonna start over! I’ve got a pocket full of quarters and that jukebox has Clay Aiken on it. So take that!

Best Kisser EVER!

Congratulations Rob on answering your fanmail now you can go back to watching Skin-e-max and ordering take out… Oh wait WE can get back to watching Skin-e-max and ordering take out (on your credit card) while you’re still passed out on the couch.

Your favorite interns!
Moon and UC

So do you think Rob is a bad kisser? Can you tell from looking? Whats in a name: Twimom or Twimilf?

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTT, Twitter


  1. Yay! Am I first? maybe if i don’t take to long to comment.

    OK–the kissing, he seems to ‘miss’ a lot, he kisses her nose more than her lips.

    As far as the Indian movie..I can’t wait to see it, for all the reasons she mentioned above.

  2. Dear Rob,

    If TomStu taught you every thing, can you get me into that school too? I would love to be classmates…


    • with mucho homework to do!!!you know…practising and practising and….

      • Sexy homework right? I want lots of homework then!

    • I want an admission in the school too. I be the hardest working student 😉

      • Misty, you meant kissmates, didn’t you?

        • Yes I did, thanks for making sure!!!! lol great call!

  3. Rob a bad kisser? Damn, I hope not. The face smooshing was kind of a turn off, but maybe he was kissing in character. Maybe Edward is a bad kisser, and Rob is such an amazing actor he forced a bad kissing technique on Kristen (Lucky biotch. I’d kiss him, bad or good).
    Yeah. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it!

    • yeah I find that hard to believe and if I was tech savy I would instert the clips of him in Bella’s bedroom when they kiss and you hear the little moan he makes and the truck scene too…omg I. Am. Died. he looks like a damn fine kisser….and if we need someone to test the theory…I would be pleased to accept the position!!!

      • Oh yes! I would accept any position with Rob.

        • Any position with Rob! (thatswhatshesaid)

        • Teehehehe, yup any position indeed!

    • alll I read…was…..
      …Rob was forced to kiss…!!! Yeah!! Kudos!

    • Jaime, CW said he gave R&K no direction on the kisses, he just told them to go at it. Like the kisses or not, they did it themselves. LOL.

  4. Twimilf? That is adorable.

    And thank you to K for pointing out that Kstew and Rob SUCk at kissing!

    • TRUTH. The leg hitch better be hot to make up for the ‘reuniting kissfail’ in New Moon. Jus’ sayin’.

      Also, loving TwiMILF – if I have a sprog that’s what I want to be.

      • “Reuniting Kissfail” is the truth! What a let down that was.

        I was watching Twilight over the weekend and I had forgotten how HOT that bedroom kiss scene was. They’ll never top that. Although I’d love to see them try!

      • There is actually a TwiMilf topic on the LTT Forum. It’s been a bit slow lately, so we would love to welcome some new blood into the mix!!

        • BN, I have been having trouble posting there, sorry. I’ll check it out again. How you been?

    • Um yes 😉 I highly disagree that Rob is a bad kisser, I definitely think that he just sucks at kissing Stewy, well because of obvious reasons. But seriously though, their kiss in Twilight was way better than New Moon by far.

  5. I’m sure Rob and TomStu are NOT starting over. They never broke up. It’s just that they have been a bit more open, you know with KStew around.

    • honi one question…
      for HOW long that toleration status will last ?

      • I don’t care. Cause open means open. For everybody. ifyouknowwhatimean.

  6. “tongue-raped” by ROB?? OMG .. I’m salivating already:) I love his Orgasmic face though when he’s saved by Bella , hopefully we can see some of that in “Remember Me” . He owe it to us ! no kidding , this drought is killing me !!
    Off to work …

  7. Ashton Kooooocher
    dot ooooorrrggg,
    even though I’m english u still love it!!!

    • Doh! i mean I still love it.

  8. Dear Chrystal… Future Baby Momma,
    instead of writing letters to ltr
    you should do some comment
    try to get in line…..cause we’re ALL looking better here!

    P.S. please DON’T call the ones that doesn’t know…

    Dear Rob,
    I will teach you kissing (PLEASE ASK)!

    • uhuuu…
      where’s the satirical paragraph? Pls, can somebody help me?

      • OK i’m coming. Ew, no that’s not what I wanted to say. Doesn’t matter, some people just don’t understand some things. Remember the catholic discussion is he or is he not?

        • thanks for coming…ähhmm..anyway..<3
          I really appreciate girls who are smart!
          just like Kristen is…so somebody is obviously thinking about a Help-Kristen campaign!

        • see? 🙂

    • Haha – I wrote that after the pictures surfaced of Stewy in London with Rob. I was heartbroken and had to vent! ❤

      • I was heartbroken too and thumb up!

        • are these pics new or from a while ago?

          • not new…

  9. It’s ok, Rob. We can just blame the moustache kissing on the virginpire. Come on over to my place and we’ll practice practice practice until you get it right.

  10. I have been concerned about Rob’s kissing since Twilight. He seems to have bad aim. But I’m reserving judgement on him until I see Remember Me.
    I’ve never seen Rob kiss anyone other than KStew. Perhaps it’s her? Maybe Rob is thinking about all the things she did with Oregano and he can’t bring himself to put his lips full on her?

    • Did you see The Haunted Airman? There was kissing, but it seemed very self-consciously “pretty”.

  11. no she is not a Twimom either way i’m 6 months older than Rob, what does this make me twimom or twimilf, what is the age range?

    İ think he looks really good at kissing but to be sure i should try it

  12. A bad kisser is normally a real DEAL BREAKER…like too long fingernails or ol’ adidas jackets….
    WHY and WHY in Rob’s case NOT?

    • Because hon, Rob is unique! Rules don’t apply to him!

      • YES! we all realized it yet!

      • You are dead on with that statement! Damn Rob and his amazingly hot ass.

  13. Okay, I’m going to get thumbs downed for this I’m sure, but the kisses in Twilight, New Moon, and even Eclipse (until the leg hitch scene) are supposed to be chaste kisses. Tongues aren’t really even in the picture until Edward gets a little carried away in his worry for Bella’s safety. So, I don’t think Rob is necessarily a bad kisser (Remember Me trailer as evidence), I think he’s actually trying to be true to his character. That’s right, I just complimented Rob’s acting skills.

    • It’s okay to compliment Rob’s acting skills! I thought he did fine in Twilight. There’s not a whole lot to work with. Edward is an emo vampire (whom I love, btw). I just don’t think the character of Edward let him show his range as an actor.

      And I think you’re right about the kissing. I got the impression Edward wasn’t using his tongue. I imagine it’s hard to show a passionate kiss when you can’t really use all of your “assets”!

    • I agree. Plus I thought the twilight kisses were hot.
      For me the story and the atmosphere are always more important to set the mood than actual tongue action.

      • Rob is a fine kisser. Have you seen Little Ashes? *snickers* Thanks, Tom.

        But honestly, the prom kiss is not only great AND hot – it’s very in character for Edward. The only bad part of that kiss (and all the New Moon kisses) is Kristen’s limp biscuit lips. And I might trademark that phrase.

        • you should check out the kissing in the Haunted Airman…..yum! He does go for the top lip all the time, but I quite like the idea of Rob sucking my top lip 🙂

    • I totally agree with you :-).

    • Yeah, true to character. Rob’s mentioned in interviews that Edward is supposed to be feeling actual pain getting close to or kissing Bella, and he’s trying to convey that.

      Trying to imagine being filmed kissing–what actually is a good kiss in RL is more about the physical actions/feeling, but trying to convey the “look” of a great kiss is another thing entirely.

      • Just finished reading Bel Ami. I will reserve my opinion until I see that movie. I’m thinking that kissing will be the least of our concerns. Uma, Christina, not a 19 year old girl. These actresses will make sure he brings the *goods* While reading the book you put our Rob in place of Duroy. Gulp!! While I am looking forward to Eclipse and RM, I so want to see BA. I am willing to bet he plays a great man whore. I’m thinking the mustache might be a little over the top for our Rob, but getting to experience a new side if his acting ability will be priceless.

        • Can’t wait!

        • Can’t wait for BA either – Rob and a period drama, dream combo for me !!!

  14. First of all, loved this: “Maybe you will be my baby mama after this weekend of Kristen gallivanting around Sundance talking to men NOT wearing plaid shirts OR named Robert Pattinson. Hmmmphhh.”

    Second, I think the picture of TomStu and Rob is so adorable!

    • Tom&Rob = True love that is…….

      • somewhere in Barnes there is a tree with” T.S. + R.P. 4ever” carved in it.

        • 100%!!! hilarious girl!

        • haha
          they did it, no they wrote it, the same day they got matching bracelets. I just love RobStu.

        • I’m going to London next month – should I make a pilgrimage to Barnes to study the trees?

          • and the tables/counters of ALL pubs in London!!!

          • Yes can you get some leaves for me please? 🙂

          • Look for Rob! The filming of Bel Ami is starting next month in London.

          • snapped – do you have deets? I am going to be there for 5 days at the end of Feb. I’m not a good fangirl – I’m a novice at Twitter and I don’t know any Rob sites to stalk. LOL.

  15. I’d be willing to find out for myself if he’s a “bad kisser”. I can show him the way, and have a heck of a lot of fun doing it. 🙂 And I have a question for Moon…

    Dear Moon,

    You had the awesome sauce chance of seeing our dearest Robward in Remember Me, and if I remember correctly, there’s this sexy time spaghetti scene, so I was wondering, were you able to study his smooches then? Did they seem to be as lacking, or, er, um, “Edward-esque” in RM? For reals, let me know. It’s okay. I can handle it. I’ve got my big girl Team Edward panties on, so I can take some sad news.
    Thanks Moon!

    Sharpie-aka-The willing body that will show Rob how to pucker up the right way. 😉

  16. I really don’t think it would be possible for Rob to be a bad kisser. Those lips totally say otherwise; but . . . . . if he does need practise, I’d be more than happy to oblige xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  17. Wait-where are all the spelling and grammatical errors? Rob actually has literate fans (outside of LTR)? Who knew.

    Rob, I’d like to practice the wet blanket with you.
    I won’t complain if you slobber a little or have to stop to breathe through your mouth.

    • I wondered that too (spelling and grammar)!

  18. What I want to know is where the hell has bobbygee been??!! I need to know his thoughts on Rob’s kissing skill. Bobby…are you out there lurking? Come out and give us words of wisdom.

    • I was wondering the same!

  19. Ya know, I was just thinking… the idea of men kissing other men has always been a total turn-off for me… until Rob came along. Like just now when reading about Tom Sturridge teaching him everything he knows I got all tingly inside! And Little Ashes… Lord, help me…

    The thought of Rob kissing anyone (bad aim, not good at it, whatever) is HOT!!!

    Rob has definintely corrupted this sweet little southern girl!!

    • I think two guys kissing is hot. I’d love to see Rob in another gay role.

      Can’t wait to get my Little Ashes dvd!

      • dtd…you will be dtd…just sayin!

      • Totally hot!

      • Am I the only one for whom guy-on-guy action is still a turn-off?

        I mean Rob has changed sooo much in my what-I-think-is-hot book (plaid, dorks, unwashed hair, jackets that are a few sizes to small etc…) but men kissing… *cringe*

        I’m sorry Rob, but even your panty-evaporating powers can’t change that for me. Please refrain to kissing only hot (mulletless) women from now on.

        I gladly offer myself to be your kissing guinea-pig and you don’t even have to ask!

        • You may be right. I think it’s probably just Rob kissing a man that I like. Just ’cause it’s Rob. Any other men and it would probably still be a turn-off!

        • I’m with you moanin, never been much for man porn. However the trailers I have seen for LA intrigued me. Maybe because it is more about a love story than two guys just bustin balls. Don’t think I could handle that. I have ordered the movie so I will have to watch it once to get over the fact that I am watching guys kissing and then move on to watching Rob and his *abilities*

      • OMG. I just got an email from Netflix saying I should have Little Ashes in my hot little hands tomorrow. Glad dh is traveling this week. After I get the kids to bed, it will be me, Rob, and the tuck!

        • Yah! I had no idea it’s on netflix!?! Ok I’m off to save it on my que!
          Thanks for the tip(thatswhatshesaid)!

        • I plan to study the tuck once I get my dvd. It went by so fast in the theater I hardly saw it.

          • Report back, please!

    • Girls, do we really need a proof that he’s a good aka eccellent kisser?
      No, we need NOT…look at him! Rob has corrupted this little german girl too and I LIKE it!

      • I like it too! Being corrupted by Rob… in fact, I LOVE IT!
        I feel so Naughty!

    • I don’t know why but I seriously doubt the supposed pre-Rob innoncence of you all.

      • InnoNcense, yeah I know, I’ll never change. sorry.

        • Do you doubt my innocence too? Hon look at my avatar. LOL.

        • In my case it’s a pick-up line 🙂

      • Touche’ Minuit!

    • Another corrupted little southern girl here.

  20. Ok, this is going to be a long, convoluted comment.

    I remember kisses from movies all the way back to childhood. The only kisses I remember are the ones where the supposedly hot guy looks like a bad kisser.
    Two examples: Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. That ending kiss looks terrible. He is a squinter and Julia just looks retarded. Second, Patrick Swayze (RIP). I love Patrick in all movies, yes, even Roadhouse but his kissing drives me insane! His eyes are all crinkled up like he’s trying to hold in a fart whilst in bed. His lips look a lot like Rob’s.

    Rob is a top lip kisser. Every girl he’s kissed in a movie (cause I’ve obviously never seen him kiss in real life – darn it all to heck!) he goes for the top lip. Even his man kiss in Little Ashes.

    I’ve never thought about kissing just one lip. So I started paying attention when kissing Mr. Zilla. He doesn’t kiss just one lip. It’s all involved. Imagine his consternation when I kept it all chaste and no tongues. I told him “I just want to try one thing.”

    All that to say that Rob does indeed look like a bad kisser to me. He has the crinkle-I-need-to-fart look. The rubbery, sucky lips. The nose crush. The bad aim. The constant dive for the side of the head, hand in hair everytime move.
    Mix it up a little Robbykins!

    But I have to remind myself that he is young and we all know that we have to teach men how to kiss the way WE want it. Right? KStew is not getting the job done.

    I’m so willing to take on the role of How To Kiss Correctly teacher. I have my Ph.D.

    Yeah, I know…get in line.

    • gazillion thumbs up for your analysing!!!I’m sure you’re a great kisser!PLUS it was HOT!lol

      • I don’t care. I still want him.

        Rubbery lips???? Those lips are lush,ripe,succulent,soft, pink pillows. And I know because I read fanfiction.

        • oops-this is supposed to be a reply to robzilla.

        • fanfic strikes again!

        • Rob’s lips look so luscious and sweet! Squeee. They look so soft too. They look good to bite…oops did I say that?

          *off to splash cold water on my face*

        • Dazzled!!!

          I just lmao when I saw your comment.
          “And I know, because I read fanfiction”.
          This is now my answer to any question anyone has ever thought of asking about Robward.


    • What.She.Said.

  21. I will state that I do not think he would be a bad kisser. Edward is “in pain” and “tortured” so Rob was doing his best “tortured” look. And really, who cares? Would you not kiss him knowing he might be bad?

    I’m willing to teach. Just sayin’.

    P.S. UC & Moon, I sent Rob a letter last week. Hope you got it. 😉

  22. I still hate that first pic.

    He looks like he has died of a drug overdose.

    And he is wearing a wifebeater.


    PS. I don’t give a damn about kissing skills. I’m too…. anxious?… easily annoyed?… to be making out.


    You need a friendly hand, oh, I need action
    Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me
    I wanna be dirty
    Thrill me chill me fulfill me


    Tonsil hockey is not required.

    • Died of a drug overdose! LOL. Love it! I’ve always kinda felt that way about that particular picture myself. Don’t care for the wifebeater either. There are so many pictures of him that I love but not this one! Well said Fang!

    • ok I’ll tell you smth fang: I had the exactly same thought! Well almost exactly… I think he totally looks like a drug addict, or at least what I imagine them to look like… srsly… He looks not Roblicious anymore… *sadcookie*
      I miss the old Rob…. 😦

  23. I’m shocked! I never thought for a second that he looked like a bad kisser – in fact, just the opposite.
    The nose crush some have mentioned….uh, so. You’ve never touched noses before when kissing? That doesn’t make somebody a bad kisser, imo.
    No tongue….I agree with comment that bella & edward are supposed to be chaste.
    Somebody said he only goes for the top lip & to miss it up a bit. We are only seeing a couple clips…they probably shot the scenes over and over and that was the clip chosen.

    Why I think he’s a good kisser? His lips are fully puckered, all involved. Quite the opposite of Kristen….I barely see her lips pucker up at all, they look stiff.

    And I so prefer TwiMILF over Twimom! Thanks for that!

    • Exactly!!

      When I was watching Twilight again, I was so annoyed/distracted by KStew’s lips. She looked like a cold, dead fish. Rob was doing all the work.

      He could be the greatest kisser in the world, if he’s kissing the equivalent of a blow-up doll, it’s not going to come off very well!

    • Loving40s~
      I agree and would like to add that (for me) the Twi bedroom kissing scene WORKS because of all the hesitation and desire on Edward’s part.

      This is supposed to be his first kiss, ever, right?

      Since seeing that kiss, I’ve been paying VERY special attention to all screen kisses and there’s never been one (not Johnny Depp, or that Spiderman dude that won an MTV award)…nothing that captured my attention the way that this has, so I won’t analyze the details any further.

      As far as New Moon kisses, there were too many kissing scenes with shoulders in the way of the camera. I didn’t buy a ticket to see Bella’s hair and shoulder.

      • lol….you didn’t pay for that??…me neither….lots of Rob’s shoulder/jaw or more…..that would have been way better…the angles of the kissing scenes were all wrong!

      • mountainlion–the hesitation and desire, you’re so right that’s what makes it great, not just the rubbery/not rubbery, fishy/not fishy lip action! Yet another reason Rob owns me!

      • Totally agree on that… I didn’t pay the damn ticket just to see Kristen!! I wanted to see some hot kissing during New Moon and especially in the reuniting scene… Seems like Chris Weitz made a bad decision on that… (But I still love you CW!!)

    • I was so mesmerized by Rob’s lips and kissing that I didn’t even notice Kristen! LOL. Rob has a way of affecting me in ways I can’t explain.

  24. You can’t hate the movie Roundhouse. Seriously, how many movies have the line “A Polar bear fell on me!”
    I actually saw the off broadway play when I was in highschool, lol.

  25. “And those that say they don’t want you, they do, they just don’t know it yet.”

    AMEN Sistah!

  26. Imma have to reserve judgement on Rob’s kissing skills until I test them out myself. I’ll report back here, never fear.

  27. I never thought that Rob was a bad kisser, but I was a bit worried about his aim.

    Though I wouldn’t complain about ‘total-coverage kissing’ if you get my meaning!

    As with everyone else here, I volunteer for the ‘Ro’b kissing efficacy’ clinical trial!!!!

    • I don’t care either. He can practice on me for all I care. Hear that Rob? 🙂 You can practice on me all day long, you can take your sweet old time.

      • Anywhere his mouth lands, will be fine. I’m not picky about aim at this point.

        • My point exactly!

        • Sweet! Anywhere.

          • Anywhere at all.

        • Not picky either, but surely ML you have a favorite spot?

          ❤ U!

      • Agreed, he doesn’t have to hit the ‘target’, anywhere close would be just fine with me!

        • btw ML, I commented to you yesterday but it was late and you probably missed it. lol.

          • Hey Tupelo,
            I’m from New Orleans originally (28 years), now I live in CO, but am glad to be from your neck of the woods.

          • Glad to hear it ML! Us southern girls (even transplanted ones) gotta stick together!

            Told SB I’m gonna try my hand at writing a “Letter to Rob” about southern girls and being nekkid on a porch swing with Rob… what ya think?

          • Tupelo, darn right! 🙂 Us southern gals, yup!

            Email me I want to hear your ideas. But no pressure. Only if you feel like sharing. Your porch is gonna be such a nice setting. Make sure it’s in the summer! Haha!

          • Don’t forget the nekkid outdoor laptop scenario!

            (just teasing)

          • As I said before Drsaka, girl you are too funny! LOL.

          • *waves*
            SB, ML, TH I am a southern girl, too!

            And if you are going to go as far as to write a letter about some nekkid-ness on a porch swing, then you need to go ahead and make it a fanfic.

          • Loveme, I thought about the fanfic but I like the idea of a letter here on LTR better.

            Anybody else here from the glorious South?

          • Tupelo~

            As long as it contains the word “moist” then I’m in. SB has my email and I’d love to read what you write.

            Talk to y’all later.


          • “Moist” huh? I’ll keep that in mind. Shouldn’t be too difficult. lol. I’ve got some ideas, I’ll work on it tonight and send it to y’all to get your opinions before I send it to Rob. ‘Kay?

          • Yeah! I can’t wait to read it. So can you add sweet tea to the mix? You know, make it southern? We should school Rob in all southern-sfuff, we southern girls can rock right?

            ML I love the moist idea! Woot!

            So far you got, nekkid, laptop, porch, sweat tea and moist!

          • SB, I’ve pretty much got it written. And yeah, sweet tea plays a part in it. We think alike. Trying to figure out how I’m gonna use “moist” tho. I’ll email it to you sometime tonight or tomorrow morning and you can forward it to mountainlion. If y’all think it’s somethin’ that would catch Rob’s interest then I’ll send it in!

          • Hi Tupelo,

            I was just kidding about using “moist.” You don’t have too. For some reason I was thinking it was a word that Rob had made fun of in an interview, but I can’t find any proof of that.

            Can’t wait to read it. YOu can email me at:

            Have fun writing.


          • ML, yeah he did say “moist” in an interview. He said he didn’t like things to be too moist or something like that. It was the radio interview with the lady djs from Seattle (or somewhere close to Forks, cause they talked about it).

            How do we know these things? LOL.

            I may or may not use “moist”. I can’t think of a way that won’t be too “nasty” if you know what I mean!! LOL.

          • Tupelo, I knew I wasn’t crazy. Listen to the moist comment at 5.02.
            So Rob…

          • Love that interview..

            Anyway, I got the letter done! I’m about to type it up and send it to y’all. Hope you like it!

            (ML, just a little hint, you, SB and Loveme are all mentioned. I would have added more but I didn’t know who else is southern here. I know there are some more tho.)

  28. I’m still loopy from the dentist appt and half of my face is numb, so I hope I’m making sense here!

    I personally don’t like being called a Twimom, it makes me feel old. I’d rather be a Twimilf. I’m young and I have a 2-yr-old and I don’t want to feel old.

    About his kissing, I don’t think it’s bad, I think it’s very passionate and he’s very frantic. That turns me on, any frantic, rushed kissing, lots of panting and moaning. Oolala. I love how he always looks like in pain when he’s kissing Kristen. Come to think of it, he always looks like that even in Bad Mother’s Handbook. The kissing must be so good that it hurts so bad inside! 🙂 I love it.

    • your comment makes me wanna kiss him even more…lol

      • “I just want to try one thing. Don’t move. Stay still.”

        • Hi SB, ew, dentist…Are you feeling better now?
          I’ve been a little bit quite sick the last days…Maybe I’d catch the Rob fever after Friday? Or maybe it was just the beard…;-)
          And kissing Rob…oh my…I’m already feeling better…

          • Cath, what’s wrong? You got robfever? I’ve had that for over 1 yr and it’s not letting up. LOL.

            Hope you feel better sweetie. Have some chicken soup.

            I’m ok, I can now feel the right side of my face. I absolutely hate going to the dentist and I’ve put it off long enough, had to do it today. I had a filling:-).

          • Glad to hear you’re okay. Nah, haven’t been feeling too well…No Robspiration to write even, that’s quite serious…

            And while I’m still trying to recover; my best friend just told me an hour ago that she’s pregnant! Her and her partner had been trying, but WOW! Hope everything will go well!

            You don’t get that kind of news every day! Felt like sharing. 🙂

            Thanks for the chicken soup btw!

          • Cath congrats to your friend! That’s great news! Hope you feel better, sorry. How’s the weather there in the Netherlands? My BIL is from there btw. Today’s weather here have been snow, freezing rain, then regular rain and then the sun can’t decide whether it wants to come out or not.

            Anyway, sending big hugs to you from down south. XO

  29. In the ‘Haunted Airman’ he looked like he had some good kissing skillzz. In the Twilight Saga he can’t kiss Bella properly because of the bloodlust thing. (can’t wait for Breaking Dawn) To be honest I have witnessed enough of his kissing skillzz to judge rather or not he is a good kisser. I just hope he is.

  30. Drunk Rob with the Tomstu. Awesomesauce

  31. FTR any scene where Rob is kissing someone is a win with me. But hey my opinion probably don’t count because I am so blind and rules don’t apply to Rob in my world :-).

    My fave Rob kissing scene so far(I haven’t seen RM, I think that will top of anything), is the Twilight bedroom kiss. It is so erotic, all this longing and frustration. So frantic, and rushed, like they were about the DTD in a public place. The glory of the unknown, the first time. Forbiddne love. It’s so sexy. I love how Kristen’s shirt rode up when he put his hand her waist before he pushed her back on the bed and her legs were parted.

    Can you tell I’ve seen that seen a little way too much?

    • Nooooo…..normal that!The Twilight kiss in the bedroom WAS hot! I remember every move, they kissed 6 times…just sayin……

    • I think your retelling of it is just as hot as watching the scene! Nice work, SB!

    • Hahahah Ok see what I mean, sorry for the typos again girls. You get the drift.

      I meant to say “forbidden love” and in the last sentence, I meant to say “scene”. Sorry, I’m really drugged up right now from my dental procedure this morning.

    • I think I need a cigarette.

      • TLG – What, is that your after sex snack? 😉

        • OMG did I say that? Sorry! *blushes*

          I’ll shut up now.

  32. A lot of times when I think about Robsten (I’m still clutching my Nonsten card, although I may soon drop it in favor of Don’t Give a Crapsten) I think about that Friends episode when Chandler is worried that his girlfriend is cheating on him with the guy she’s acting with and Joey tells him that you can tell if they’re sleeping together by their chemistry on stage. If they have no chemistry on stage, they’re definitely doing it, and vice versa. I wonder if they difference in chemistry between Twilight and New Moon tells us anything? Cause damn that Twilight kiss was so effing hot and then you have the reunite kiss which we’ve all mentioned is a fail. I dunno, just a theory (still remaining Nonsten though!). Rob looks like a damn fine kisser to me though, and either way I don’t think that would be a dealbreaker for me!

    • Elise,
      Thanks for bringing up the Friends episode. I was thinking the exact same about the Rob and Kristen chemistry thing, but was too lazy to type it all up.

      • Ha you’re welcome! I love that you can relate any situation in life to a Friends episode.

    • Ladies, speaking about Kristen…The following picture annoys the *** out of me whenever I see it, can’t help it…

      I mean, I really thought I didn’t mind her…But WHY does she has to dress like Rob??? I mean, they even wear the same Adidas…I know, I know, she’s still so young, but really…TomStu is more feminine than her. (I know, I’m not being nice here…)

      (Sorry, just had to vent…)

  33. Re: Rob’s kissing. I can say that in my imagination it’s really quite nice. I’m just going to trust my gut on this one.

    Also, I loves ya KStew even if no one else does! I understand disliking the girl, but the body snarking always upsets me on some Feminist/Ya Ya Sisterhood level. But the mullet? It’s open season.

    • I actually like her too for the most part but I was seriously hating on her that day bc I would definitely rather Rob bang Kstew over Megan Fox. I like the fact that he’s not shallow and is or may be into a “normal” girl. It’s all just humor dear.

      • Oh, don’t get me wrong, I thought it was funny! It’s just every now and then I feel the need to defend KStew’s honor. And by honor I mean boobies.

  34. Dear Rob,

    you don’t need a new (bad) dose of TomStu’s lessons. Just read some fanfic. I thought you said you already read some? Then you obviously read the wrong ones. Expect a letter of recommendations in your mailbag, honey. And for eff’s sake, ditch the Stew, she obviously doesn’t know what she’s doing. It’s really a waste to have a fuckhot guy and no skills.

    Sincerely looking out for your tongue skills,


    p.s. I recently started an M rated fic and got 20 chapters into it to find out that the writer didn’t have any *cough* experience *cough* and was dreading to write a kissing scene. Talk about a waste of time.

    • Now we’re talking!!! That is a good idea srsly. We should get him to read fanfic… Because overanalyzing his kissingskillz won’t help really….

      And it really sucks to read a story that is… well M-rated but there is nothing rated M about it… I am happy I only read fanfic by recommondation…

  35. I am totally making a TwiMILF bumpersticker for my car (I have a cafepress shop)

    debating if I’m brave enough to actually put one on my car though.. hehehe

    • We dare you to and even triple dog dare you!

  36. […] Rob’s Mailbag: An indecent proposal and a bad kisser? Dear Rob, We here at Letters to Rob were cleaning our your mailbag this weekend (it’s getting kinda low, shhh […] […]

  37. the kisses…I def wish they had all been as well lit as the prom scene kiss–I like watching his jawline move while he kisses (it’s fascinating). I give CH props for that and the unforgettable bedroom kiss.

    NM actual kisses a little more forgettable, I think. Such a shame!

    A kiss by the truck in total darkness? Really CW? Well thankfully you had Rob to salvage that as best he could with his moaning.

    I don’t hold out much hope for Eclipse either. Maybe a woman needs to direct BD.

  38. I don’t know if someone had asked this before but I just really need to know… Did DILF CW appear in Mr. and Mrs. Smith? I watched it (again) after an eon and noticed that one of the couple’s neighbors look like CW. Like, a dead ringer guys. He had one, two or three short scenes with Brad and Angelina… Did he? Did he? Come on guys, please. remember?

    • I’m suffering that bad from insomnia that I just looked it up on imdb and yes, he was in Mr. and Mrs. Smith. He played Martin Coleman. Ha! Awesome. Rob’s connection to Ang is now that much closer.

      • hahahaha! love it!! thanks for answering TLG. I can move on now…

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