Posted by: themoonisdown | January 22, 2010

Rob on the Haiti Telethon

2 time, world's sexiest man alive

Dear Rob,

In the wake of the Haiti earthquake disaster everyone including celebs have been rushing to spread the word, donate and figure out how they can help in any way. And we’re glad (and a bit proud) to say you’re no exception. Your new boyfriend George Clooney (2 time People’s Sexiest Man) has put together a huge celebrities give back telethon bonanza to take place this Friday on MTV and about every other channel. And it’s no surprise he called up you (GQ’s Best Dressed Man) to help host the UK portion of the event. Smart thinking Georgie, SMART THINKING. Not that we wouldn’t all be tuning any regardless but now we’ll be Tivo-ing and probably making at least 100 calls in hopes of talking to Rob himself on the phone. So of course that got us to thinking about you answering phones at the telethon and what (in our perfect, twisted world) that would sound like… soooooo why not?

*We’re quick to say this is all in good fun that we aren’t making light of a natural disaster that’s rocked so many people, but instead want to cause a few smiles because if we couldn’t laugh than we’d be forced to tears*

George Clooney: Welcome to the Celebrities Give Back to Haiti Telethon. I’m your host, 2 time People’s Sexiest Man Alive: George Clooney!! Who’s ready to lend a helping hand?! With me tonight we’ve got the biggest names in the show biz: my other boyfriends and Oceans 11 costars Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and special lady friend and beard groomer St. Angie Jolie! We’ve also got Julia Roberts, Adam Brody (hey, this is how I see it! pipe down!) and that girl I dated in Italy. I’m pleased to announce our special UK correspondent for tonight: GQ’s Best Dressed Man and one man savior to the Hot Pocket industry: Mr Robert Pattinson. *Touches ear piece*  Welcome him!

*Wild applause, phones ringing*

What? I have to answer the phones?

Rob Pattinson: Helllllloooooo United Kingdom! I’ll be your host for the evening, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t crapping my pants a little bit right now. This is a lot of pressure for a man with no experience in this sort of thing to go through. Plus I had to get my hair and beard trimmed, unibrow waxed and find some clean clothes in my dad’s closet, so needless to say, I’m already exhausted. But it’s all for the cause! Speaking of the cause, let’s get this thing started *Cue Rob’s choice of kick off music “Let’s get Ready to Rumble”*

Rob Pattinson: I’m going to start by calling up a mate of mine *gets out phone and dials* Hello Marcus!? I’m here on National television- oh you can see me! Sure. I’ll wave hi *faces cameras* Hi Mrs. Foster *blows a kiss* Anyway, pal, I don’t have a lot of time, but I wanted to see if you could donate to the people in Haiti- wha- what? Really!? Oh mate! You’re going to make some Haitian boy so happy *wipes a tear from his eye, looks at camera* Marcus is donating a plaid shirt!

*switch to George in L.A.*

George Clooney: Plaid… what? Wait- Rob… Rob? Can you hear me?

Rob Pattinson: Oh hey there George! How is it going on your side of the–

George Clooney: Rob we’re looking for monetary donations only.

Uh, oh! Will Rob get fired from a charity event? Find out after the jump!

*30 minutes later. Camera pans the room in England and Rob is seated at a table with all the other operators, waiting for the phone to ring*

*ring, ring*

Rob Pattinson: Hello! Thank you for calling the donation line. This is Robert Pattinson. How much would you like to pledge today?

Robsten Girl: OMG IT’S ROB!!! IT’s ROBERT THOMAS PATTINSON. OMG ROB IS SHE THERE? IS SHE WITH YOU NOW? IS SHE UNDER THE TABLE GIVING YOU A YOU-KNOW WHAT?

*girl sitting next to Rob hangs up on her phone call where she was in the middle of taking down a pledge for $3500 and grabs the phone from Rob*

Nonsten Girl: You are a crazy delusional freak imparting your own insecurities about being alone forever onto this poor innocent, very attractive telephone operator. And ANYWAY, my guys friends and I always give each other beej’s at charity telethons. That’s proves nothing NOTHING *slams phone down*

*Rob is front and center, in front of the cameras once again*

Rob Pattinson: Ladies and Gentlemen, I have a special treat for you tonight. Let me introduce: Kellan Lutz and Taylor Lautner

*The guys walk out and the crowd goes wild. Actually just one gay guy running sound goes wild. The rest aren’t exactly sure who these two guys are*

Taylor Lautner: Thank you, kind people of the United Kingdom, for having us on your telethon tonight

Kellan Lutz: Thanks to GC, my favorite doc of all time (don’t tell Facinelli!) for putting this together. But watch your back man- I’m after your title. Hahahahahah *slaps his knee*

*switches to George in the US*

George Clooney: Who the f*ck is that kid?

*back across the pond*

Donate. Now!

Rob Pattinson: Taylor and Kellan agreed to appear here tonight to encourage everyone to call in. Plus as an ADDED bonus- every time we hit $10,000, the guys are going to bench-press me! Yes, you heard that right. Are you ready guys?

*Taylor and Kellan rip off their shirts in one fluid movement and freeze in the most ‘macho man’ position possible*

*Rob is back at his phone, covering his mouth to keep his conversation quiet. The following is heard*

Rob Pattinson: …you said if I ever needed a favor…..helped keep you in business….would be great if you could….oh really?…..well, George said moneta-…..a year?…..hmm…..*licks his lips* okay i think that will work…… thanks”

*one hour later, Taylor and Kellan’s faces have turned purple in their “macho-man” positions and Rob seems increasingly frustrated. His cell phone rings*

Rob Pattinson: Hey George. I know. I told you I probably wasn’t the best for this job. Okay. Any ideas? Just get out there? Encourage them? Give anything? Okay. Thanks

*Rob faces the cameras, for one last plea*

Rob Pattinson: Ladies and gentle— Ladies of the United Kingdom. I know times are tough. The economy is in shambles. Money is tight. You all saw New Moon so many times you dipped into your budget for charity giving. But please- we’ll take anything. It doesn’t need to be much. Anything helps. I know what it’s like to be broke. But I also know what it’s like to feel good about giving anything I could. So dig around in your couch. Go out to your car and look under the mats. Look in your pants pockets and in your spouses pants pockets. If all you come up with is $2.00- great! That’s $2.00 more than we had before. Call in today!

*the calls start flooding in. Relief rushes to Kellan and Taylor’s now blue faces and Rob walks away proud*

*1 hour later*

George Clooney: And this wraps up our night! Let’s give a big round of applause to all our hardworking, rich and famous celebrities who had to forgo an evening with a VIP room for once. And to all of YOU! Our wonderful pledgers. Let’s check in and see how we did. In NY- they raised 10 million dollars. Not to be out-beaten, LA brought in a whopping $12 million big ones. And how about down in Haiti with Andersen Cooper? What!? Really? They raised a gazillion dollars. Now, I know what everyone has been waiting for. Let’s see how the UK did with George Clooney wanna-be- haha just kidding you not really– Robert Pattinson. Oh. Uh. Um.. Well, it looks like Rob pulled in $17.57, a plaid shirt and a year’s worth of pepperoni hot pockets for one lucky Haitian. Thank you to everyone who participated and remind me never to ask Rob for a favor again.

*pan to the UK*

Rob Pattinson: Wait! I will personally match the next donation that comes through and Kellan and Taylor will bench-press me, no matter what amount it is!

*phone rings*

Random British person: We got $20!!

Rob Pattinson: All-right! Guys, Let’s get ready to rumble!

*Kellan and Taylor immediately begin to turn a more attractive color as they lay on the crown next to each other and simultaneously lift Rob Pattinson into the air*

Fade to Black..

Love,
UC & Moon

In all seriousness, what all these celebs are doing tonight is wonderful and sure to raise a record number of donations!!! Almost every major network in the US is airing the “Hope for Haiti” special and Robsesssed has a post with places you can see the event oversees. If you can’t call in during the “Hope for Haiti” special, check out our post on Haiti from last week for ideas on where to give. Together we can all make a difference!!!

Looking forward to FINALLY seeing Rob tonight!?

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTT, Twitter

Oh yeah, new Rob EW outtakes from Robsessed. YUM

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Responses

  1. unibrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • The unibrow:))) Careful, Madonna might have a copyright for that term, remember Lourdes?

    • My first thought exactly!

    • the unibrow…..lol…..WE call it “mono-brow”here…and the copyright has BERT from the sesam street too….

      • I think we should christen Rob’s eyebrows Bert & Ernie in their honour.

        • yes!

        • I second that!

        • YEAH…Ernie & Bert…or Erniebert……depends in which stadium they will be….lol

        • I third that!

  2. […] called all my friends and celebrity pals to join us! Rob may be part of that other snooty telethon but I’ve got the REAL star power here at Happy Hour for Haiti! Cameras, can you pan over to […]

  3. Rob can donate one of his plaid shirts to me any day. I’d prefer him to come with it.

    Great stuff guys. Telethons annoy the piss out of me sometimes, but for something like this, it is definitely a worthy cause.

    Don’t forget to donate!!! You may get lucky and get to talk to Rob 😉

  4. Rob,
    I will give you my money for the unfortunate people and I will give you… my body…. for you… and me.
    Now will you please answer the phone when I call you,
    See you,
    Me

    • you’re so generous!

      • “give and you will recieve”
        I’m thinking karma here (or smth).
        Or show me yours I’ll show you mine.

    • haha minuit…
      that was MY idea as well…so now we are TWO generous girls…
      All for Rob and charity…..<3

    • Me too Minuit!!!

    • There are so many generous women!!!!

      • Hahaha, you’re guys are just saints, sacrificing yourself like that…;-)

        • you guys I mean, already making typos, that’s how nervous I am for Rob…;-)

  5. HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAAHAH

  6. No words.
    Amazing.

    You can bet that I will be calling!

  7. Although I haven’t slept more than 10 hrs this week (don’t ask. Or ask if you want to be flooded by an unstoppable shower of complaints straight from the depths of my inner rant-zilla) I will definitely stay up until 2 a.m. to watch this.

    It will be worth it after this unbearable drought.(rejoice Robville, the wait is over!) Not to mention the good cause.

  8. anyone read the blog

    http://pattinspired.blogspot.com/

    on Rob manning the phones. V. funny!

    • That was really funny!

    • Lmao!!

    • Hilarious!! The sad thing is that it’s probably pretty accurate as to what he’ll be dealing with tonight!

      • I’m sure you’re right, it does seem rather a ‘disaster waiting to happen’ having rob man the phones.

        I’d rather he just did the presenting, if he’s manning phones we wont get to see him much and I’ve missed him. Have had to survive on old photos and youtube vids. Need new stuff to fuel the fire/addiction/crazyness/insanity.

    • LOL! That is so hilarious!!!!

    • bwahahahahaha!

  9. *gets up*

    *runs to car*

    *drives to bank*

    *withdraws all of my life savings* (which isn’t much)

    *borrows four cell phones*

    *adds international calling plans to cell phones*

    *waits for telethon to begin*

    Tonight is the night. I shall talk to Rob. Or not. But it’s a nice dream that I really don’t want to come true. How awkward would that be?

    Ummm… Maybe I will just donate. I hate talking on the phone.

  10. I’ve given money several times over the past several days. I’ll give again tonight. However, if Robert actually answers a (US-based) phone call and I’m on the other end, I’ll be living in a fort of boxes in an alley because I’ll give him ANYTHING he’d like.

    When I woke this morning, my first thought was DROUGHT OVER! That normal?

    • Totally normal. 😉

    • I had the same thought in the exact same terminology…..Drought OVER!! YES!
      Then my next string of thoughts went something like this…”tonight may be the night of my life…i’m gonna try like hell to talk to Rob Effing Pattinson! Would it be rude to call and donate $1 one thousand times to increase my chances? If I got to talk with him, what would i say? would I fangirl out? would my world fade to black as i pass out right then and there on the phone and instead of smelling salts my husband would have to hold a hotpocket under my nose to wake me up?”

  11. I hope that all our donations will help the people of Haiti. Thanks to all who have/are/will participate.

    And bonus Rob time, you can do better than that!

    • yikes, I meant: And bonus Rob time, you CAN’T do better than that!

      note to self
      *must read comment before submitting*

  12. At this time of the morning…all I have is this…

    Brill! It will play out exactly like that, no doubt.

    And Rob can make a donation to MY cause anytime he wants, as long as he doesn’t phone it in.

    ;-P

    • Speaking of “phoning it in,” can you imagine the phone calls Rob might get tonight?

      Fangirl: I loved you in Twilight
      Rob: Thanks
      Fangirl: I find you very attractive, will you go to bed with me.
      Rob: Um, this is a fundraiser for suffering people
      Fangirl: I’ll donate $100, but will you give me your cell #?
      Rob: *hangsup*

      Next call:
      Fangirl: I can’t wait to see you in Remember Me
      Rob: Thanks
      Fangirl: I’ll go down on my knees for you.
      Rob: *hangsup*

      • HILARIOUS!!!

        • question!
          How many girls will call him “Edward”?

          • So true, Robgirl!

            Poor Rob.

      • haha
        the thing is the “I will go down on my knees for you’ and “I’ll donate $100, but will you give me your cell” speech is smth that we”re all dying to say not only an embarassing twihard.

        • Yes, I didn’t want to use our names in place of “fangirl,” but I was totes talking about us.

          • lion…that was OBVIOUS!!!!lol

      • LMAO!

        Well if he comes on the phone, it’s gonna be really hard(thatswhatshesaid) not to utter those words!

        Just know tonight, each time Rob answers the phone and he starts blushing, you already know what the person(girl) on the other line is saying!!!! 🙂

        • Its a ‘look for the blush’ game!!!!!

          • The callers will probably try to keep him on the phone for as long as possible and I envision him having a hard time hanging up! LOL. You know, him being all polite and sweet. 🙂

          • So ..I’m realizing that it would be better if Rob would just repeat the “Edward-I’ll-kill-myself-going-into-the-sunlight-with-no-shirt-scene” again………..the phone thing will be just a huge failure….

          • I was thinking about that yesterday, the practicallity of ‘the call in to Rob thing’…I mean, who’d hang up when they get connected to Rob??? But maybe he’ll only get calls from sweet grannies. Something like this:

            Rob:’Hello, Robert Pattinson speaking.’

            Granny:’Well hello dear. My,my, you DO sound a lot like my grandson.’

            Rob: (realising this IS his actual Gran) Uhm Gran, it’s me Rob, I AM your grandson.

            Granny: ‘Well, well, dear, I have to admit you do sound alike, but it’s not very nice of you to make fun of an old lady like me.’

            Rob:’ No, really…’

            Granny:’ No dear, your parents should have taught you better, you can’t possibly my dear little grandson, he’s a famous actor these days, you know…He’s on TV right now, collecting money for these poor dears in Haiti.’

            Rob:’But Gran, it IS me, your little Robbiekins. (blushes) Look, I’ll wave at you right now.’ (waves)

            Granny: ‘Oh, and now he waves at me, isn’t that funny dear, just like you said you’d do…’

            Rob: (gives up) ‘Ok, what do you said you’re name was and which amount would you like to donate?’

            Granny: ‘Good, good dear, glad to hear you’re not making fun of an old woman anymore, my name is Mrs Pattinson, and I’d like to 20 pound dear. I’d just sold the cardboard stand up of my grandson’s lady friend he gave me for Christmas. The neighbour girl was very happy with it.’

            Rob:*Bangs head on table…*

            Granny: ‘Hello dear?’

            (*Poor granny Rob, she IS a little bit confused. Please forgive her though, she was knitting a new blue sweater for Rob…So she was a little pre-occupied…)

  13. Dear Rob,
    I sooo wanna see you…that actually I would do MUCH more than stay awake THIS night…
    love you
    me

    Dear UC and Moon
    “your” nonstengirl sounds kinda like Kristen…lol
    just sayin
    love you
    me

  14. is he really going to be answering phones??? My husband will have NO choice but to let me scream at the TV all night long…..omg, omg, omg…intializing fangirl mode, phase 1!

    *takes deep breaths

    Wow, if he answered the phone I don’t know what to say to him…what is everyone else planning on saying to him????

    • Maybe I’ll ask him if he could perm. stay out from under his rock….. And remind him that a little bit of sun won’t hurt…he’s not a REAL vampire ya-know!

    • Me: “Hi Rob”
      Rob: “Hi”
      Me: “WHERE are you?”
      Rob:”????”

      so…it’ll be better for me….NOT to talk to him…
      I would be ALL confused…and DAZZLED
      even through the receiver…..

      • Haha! Yeah right.

      • Robgirl, maybe you can just text him…Lots of possibillities there…;-)

  15. The UK portion should just be a Rob auction… like they did in Cannes, a hug from Rob, a kiss from Rob, the chance to tweaze the unibrow, the chance to sew up more of his tattered clothes, the last heineken bottle his lips touched, etc.

    I have a feeling those would bring in some major money.

    Glad the drought is ending but sad that it is under such circumstances.

    DONATE DONATE DONATE!

    • A chance to tweeze the unibrow!

      If he auctioned off his clothing collection, I’d cash in my IRA for the shiteous Nikes, or take out a second mortgage for the Stoli shirt. All for a good cause, of course.

    • How about Rob singing “NEVER THINK” LIVE if the total donations reach $500M or above?

      George Clooney needs us. We have the best ideas.

  16. “Taylor and Kellan rip off their shirts in one fluid movement and freeze in the most ‘macho man’ position possible” <– Hahahaha! I'm crying.

  17. If they want to raise money, just have him strip!!

    I know I’d donate A LOT to see that!!

    • Ditto- A little of Rob porn would bring in “loads and loads” of money.
      I’m planning to donate anyway but (looks around and whispers) I’d sell a pet, nephew, kidney for the chance to see some skin!

  18. Hilarious, and quite convincing post! This is probably EXACTLY what we will see happening tonight – you must be psychic like Alice…

    I don’t see George’s problem with plaid shirts, though: if Rob would donate a couple of plaid shirts they could probably auction them off for gazillion dollars, and Rob could save the money he would (not) have spent on dry cleaning them… A win/win situation!

  19. I had the exact same thought this morning: The drought is over!

    I’ve encouraged my husband to go out with his buddies tonight:
    Me: Honey, you’ve had a tough week, why don’t you and ___ go drink a few beers play a little pool…
    My DH: Why? You got a hot date tonight?
    Me: *tries not to look guilty* Of course not!

    I just don’t want him to be here to hear me saying “God, he’s beautiful, God, he’s beautiful!”

    Totes Normal, right?

    • haha…totes normal…and very TRICKY!!!
      So the bars tonite will be CROWDED with guys hanging around ……….

    • I guess I’m sort of lucky. My hubby works nights. However my DD is here and the show starts close to her getting ready for bed. So I may miss a few here and there, that’s too much!

      But I’m glad my husband won’t be home because I can’t let him see me in my current mental state when Rob comes on TV!

      • When he comes on TV? Haiti is going to be the richest nation in the world after the donations to see that!

        • you’re such a perv TOO. and I love you.

          • Why, thank you, yes I am. And I heart you.

        • Rob coming on tv? Oh Gawd….

        • LOL. You know I had to read your comment like 3x before I figured it out!

          Did I really say that? LOL. Oh my. I wasn’t even thinking of that, seriously! Bwahahah!

          • Sure you weren’t.

  20. Holy shiite! If Rob answered the phone I’d probably donate a year’s pay and promise my first-born [sorry, Linds]!

  21. Dear Rob,

    I’ve already donated but I can and I will again.

    I’ll give you whatever you want, whatever you need!

    XO

    Btw I was just thinking about this yesterday. What if I called and Rob answered the phone? Holy cow, I wonder if I’ll recognize his voice? Will I be able to speak? Will I faint? Will I scream? Will I be able to restrain the fangirl inside of me?

    I bet there’s gonna be a lot of people calling.

    And I’m so happy they are all doing this for Haiti. Kudos to them. If we all come together, we can all make a difference.

    • “whatever you need”….lol…SURE!!! ❤

      • I was gonna type “firstborn” but I was too embarrassed!

        Anyway, yes Rob whatever you want!

        • a “firstborn” by calling…….wow …how does it work? I mean I know about sexytalk by phone but getting pregnant???
          Anyway…what he NEEDS WE will just give HIM!
          lol

          • Sexy talk? LOL Oh boy you are so naughty today! I’m just an innocent southern girl trying to help a cause.

            You’re saying I can get pregnant just by talking to him on the phone? Ayayay!

          • If Rob can impregnate with a look, then why not with his supper attractive voice over the phone???

          • I meant super attractive, of course!

          • Drsaka –

            Sign me up then! I’ll donate my body too!

  22. Great post, I’ll be watching and dialing, now if we can just get Rob to say….”fir slook” that could really open my coffers!

  23. “Hello, This is The Precious” Would you care to donate to the Hati Relief Fund?”

    “OMG! It’s The Precious!!” “I will donate $25 everytime you giggle and $50 if I can make you blush.”

    Making him blush, “I want to make you come Luv”, “Come with me.”

    I think he would faint on national tv!!!!

  24. UC and Moon, thanks for posting that pic of Rob(the 1st one)!!!! I can’t stop looking at it!

    He’s so dreamy. Omg. Will he look like this tonight? Haha!

    • I bet on…shaved….lol

      • Hey girl that works for me!!! More jawporn! Squeee!

        *thud*

  25. Is it just me or George Clooney DOES NOT look sooo good these days???….he looks years older than he is…….I guess he won’t win the title for the third time……….sorry…it’s NOT that I don’t like him…..
    Better for Rob…..lol

    • Nah, you’re not alone in this dear. I agree. He’s a good actor though.

    • No one looks good in comparison.

  26. I’ll be watching. But my 2nd hand embarrassment will be just under the surface, ready to bubble up at any word-vomit.

    KStew’s at Sundance, right?

    Love George Clooney for organizing this. What a man. I might be gay for his girlfriend though. She’s hot.

    • TLG….of George…the girlfriend….I mean…DID he changed it? lol
      It’s Elisabetta Canalis…an italian showgirl …known for …NOTHING!
      Anyway a nice man he is….

      • His last girlfriend was a cocktail waitress, right?

        I didn’t know her before he started dating her, but does it matter? She’s hot. I love how he’s so “in love” right now. In 6 months, she’ll be hosting the Italian Grammies and he’ll have moved on. But you can’t deny she’s hot.

        • haha..no…she is hot…BUT she looks exactly the same as his other GF….I thought his biggest love was “Max” that was kinda cute as well

    • I was thinking the same thing TLG. I’m so nervous for him. Let’s pray he has a good teleprompter, because if he has to “wing it”, he’s screwed.
      Now would be a good time to make sure the brain filter is functioning properly.

  27. My luck?

    I’ll call, get a guy on the phone with a gorgeous accent which HAS to be Rob right? I’ll keep my cool, control my inner fangirl, tell him I can donate WAY more than I financially can, actually give him my cell number instead of my credit card number (while *fist bumping* my 5yr old daughter sitting next to me) and then find out…it was Bono

    In all seriousness, I don’t care who answers the phone, I will be donating. And I’m glad Robs doing this. I mean, he’s the sexiest man to walk the earth, he’s funny, smart, well read, adorkable…and now lets just go ahead and add humanitarian to the ever growing list.

    *sigh*

    • Bono’s IRISH….hmm, now I’ve typed that I feel like a total biatch & didn’t mean to. Him & Rob sound different is all I mean. Quite a lot different. Practise with Youtube first & you’ll see what I mean.
      Bono sounds like my Granny (also from Dublin), Rob sounds like me & everyone else round here…tee hee. Send money to Haiti, ring ME & I can say lots of filthy things in a lovely British accent…which you can record, slow down & voila, RobFilth!

      I also dare someone from LTR to ask Rob if they can disrespect him nice & slow if they get through to him on the phone.

      • I love that dare!!! I am capable of pretty much anything to get him (ahem, on the phone). Including alluding whoever I get on the phone first to disrespect him/her if he passes Rob on.

    • Major LOL when you wrote …” It was Bono…”
      too funny.

    • Uhm sorry, by being very unloyal to Rob, but it’s really good news for you guys, more Rob for you…

      But I am quite torn; it would NOT be a disappointment to me if I’d had BONO (Bono!!!) on the phone…Oh no, sorry Rob…It’s almost a tie…And anyway, I’d just take my chance and after a little talk with him ask B to connect me trough to Rob. (Well, a girl can try, can’t she?)

  28. OMG…I was bursting out laughing at all of this! Donating a plaid shirt–that was hilarious!

    kellan saying GC is his fav doc! HA!!!!

    OH Gosh that pic of him!!! If only mags like EW and VF were smart enough to publish their next mags with the darn ROB outtakes and donate the proceeds to the Haiti relief!!!

  29. I don’t know if I can wake up at 02:00 and watch Robathon. Le sigh Rob…..the things I do for you LMAO. Hahahahah loving the post today!

  30. If anyone gets Rob tonight (TWSS) I’d be curious to know if he reads LTT! After all, there have been a few suspicious comments in the past…

    Then again I would totally not blame anyone for simply asking if they can disrespect him nice and slow (as per beakerj’s comment above) or if they “can come”. When it’s Rob, it’s every woman for herself. 😉

    Also it might be nice to offer to send him a hot pocket as a reward after all of his hard work tonight.

    • lol……..or ME in a hot pocket!!!
      sorry…..<3

    • God, anyone who’d remember to ask about LTR when they have the Rob on the line, would be a STAR and have balls…haha…Classic!

      I’m quite sad that I missed those suspicious comments! I love a conspiracy or two. And I wouldn’t put it past Rob as well…This is such a funny, not so scary, intelligent site…With lovely fans, the not scary kind….

      But do tell a little more about those suspicious comments…(now you’ve done it though, I’m beginning to find your comment a little bit suspicious as well…I’m starting to get paranoid here. But you ARE asking for a hot pocket after all, that’s a little bit suspicious…;-))

      I’ll send Rob a Heine though…If I get him on the phone, I’ll invite him over (and all you ladies can come as well, I can share!)

      Dear Rob,

      May you read this, please reserve a special line tonight for all the LTR ladies, thank you! (and send Bono my love)

      X Cath

      • I am now wondering though if Rob will actually host London, ’cause I’ve read somewhere on the CNN-site that he’ll only be on the phone…And on CNN and such they’re only mentioning Clooney, Wyclef Jean and Anderson Coopers as official presenters…

        I wouldn’t be surprised, ’cause Rob’s not that much of a host…But maybe he will announce the musical acts in London…That’s more up his alley. I am sooo curious! Just’d like to see Rob. It’s really a shame that he’s not singing himself if you think about it, although I’m sure he wouldn’t find the idea very appealing of people all over the world seeing his musical live tv debut, haha…It’s just that my country yesterday had a telethon (160 million!) and a famous Dutch actress was singing live with a famous band here on the show…Rob, Jay-Z and Bono/The Edge…

        Bring it on! (I know it’s not going to happen…)

      • If I get him on the line, I’ll invite him over… and you ladies can come as well… (That’s what she said!!!)

        • Yeah Tupelo, you’d all be special guests, I’m not selfish…There’s enough Rob to go round, and I’ve already came to the conclusion that there are ladies here who love Rob more than I do.
          So who’d I be to stand in the way of true Roblove? Can’t help it, I’m just a romantic…;-)

          • Aww Cath, you’re so sweet!

      • There was one weird comment that comes to mind around Christmas, when someone wrote something asking if the woman (who had written that day’s letter) leave her husband if “I” showed up? It looked pretty fake though, it’s just amusing to imagine him reading all of the letters and comments on here.

        I see from below commenting is pretty much over for the day…hope you all enjoyed the appearance and hoping someone got through! 😉

    • OK Rob I’ll come dressed as a Hotpocket!

      • He’ll surely love that, SB! Although he now should be quite careful with the Hot Pockets…crumbs and beard=ew…

        • Cath I’ll dress as a Hotpocket and he can….*blushes* never mind ;-).

          I don’t mind the beard and the moustache. I know it’s him under there. Hello, Rob! Yohoo!!!! I know you’re there!

          • That’s quite a beard he has going!!! Though we know he wouldn’t have the head of hair and the eyelashes he does if he wasn’t able to grow all that hair, really fast!

          • SB, knowwhatyamean…haha…
            And drsaka, you make a great point…And oh, those lashes…That’s a great detail, love such long lashes on men!

          • His eyelashes are crazy long and full. Not fair on a guy!

          • Cath – teheheeheh :-).

            About the lashes, they are great for butterfly kisses.

            Drsaka -good point.

  31. “Nonsten Girl: You are a crazy delusional freak imparting your own insecurities about being alone forever . . . And ANYWAY, my guy friends and I always give each other beej’s at charity telethons. That’s proves nothing NOTHING *slams phone down*”

    Dying. Hilarious!

  32. I hope someone out there records their call with Rob so we can hear it.
    I can’t help but picture him taking a call live on air and it’s some breathless fangirl or a guy who doesn’t even know who he is.

    Glad the drought is over. The paparazzi have not been doing their job.

  33. LMAO at the post today, ladies!

    I’m thinking that Rob wouldn’t even have to appear tonight if they just took that last photo from today’s post with “Donate. Now.” underneath it. Flash that up on the screen and after 15 minutes they’d have so many donations they could shut down the telethon.

  34. OMGoodness UC & Moon, I seriously want to print this out and post it on the fridge. You so brought it …again! I heart you big time!

    PS I hope you’re feeling better UC.

  35. I just recently discovered Robert Pattinson. And found you girls/guys today. I have snapped and all I do is search for anything about him. You girls are hilarious. I thought I had it bad. I won’t be calling UK but I can’t wait to see what you guys have to say about this telethon Sat.

    • Hi Snapped!!!
      Welcome.
      lion

      • Thanks. What are everyone’s thoughts on the beard and deer in headlights look? Poor soul looked like he cudda used another half Valium.

        • I thought he looked great, but I’m crazy, so not your best source for a reality check on how Rob looked.

        • Welcome snapped! I think he looks like a woodchopper, a handsome one though…

    • Welcome, this is a fun place!

    • Welcome. You should know, for the record, it’s girls/guy. One guy, Bobbygee. A rare and mysterious creature known for his mystical (some say unintelligible) musings.

  36. Has anyone seen this yet?

    http://www.popsugar.com/7135322

    omg..no words

    • better pics-
      http://www.robsessedpattinson.com/

      is he growing a beard for Bel Ami?? I have the script but haven’t read it yet.

      • d2d, I’m reading the book right now and in it Duroy has a mustasche but not a beard. You have the script? Will you send it to me?

        • sure-pm me your email.

          • d2d, I posted it but it looks like it didn’t go thru so I’ll try again. crazygurl20n8@aol.com

          • tupelohoney and dazzledtodeath check ur email (the email you use for your wordpress account) b/c i don’t want to approve the comment with tupelo’s email here for fear of stalkers!

          • Thanks, UC for fearing stalkers for me! But this isn’t my “real” email. Just one I’ve used a couple times here. I’m probably gonna delete it.

          • I’d like it too, please at:
            kmountainlion@yahoo.com
            Thanks, D2D.

          • Tupelo,
            How do you like Bel Ami, so far?
            I’m reading it, too.

          • ML, I’ve only read about 25 pages so far. I like it. I can definitely see Rob as Duroy!

          • What do you think, ML? Do you like it?

          • Ack, D2D I just looked at your 2nd link and I have to say I changed my mind. I really don’t like it! 😦 He looks like he aged about 20 yrs!

            If he’s gonna look like this I don’t know how I’m gonna be able to watch Bel Ami? He’s supposed to be a young journalist there and with this beard and stashe he looks much older. I’m shallow, forgive me Rob if you read this.

          • Tupelo,
            Each chapter gets better and better, but I’m wondering if I would have gotten more *ahem* “pleasure” from just reading the screen play. Overall, it’s well written and I know he’s gonna make a great Duroy. So, no regrets…

        • Anyone of you planning to read Water For Elephants already? I’ve read a review of the book and it seems like a book I’d love…Sounds like a great movie as well…My sentiment was not that original though, Robsessed had already order links up for the book.

          Reading all these Rob related books, UC and Moon could start a LTR-bookclub. That’d be fun. LTR-bookclub meetings would not feature tea with scones, but rather Heine and ofcourse…Hot Pockets…(although I also like scones…sorry…)

          • I loved it. I was so excited to see that Rob is probably going to be in the film version. I’ll have to reread it and picture Rob as Jacob. It’s really an amazing book and Jacob is very different from any any part Rob has played. I think it’s a great film for him.

          • Are they making a movie of Water for Elephants? Did Rob sign on for it?

            I read it for book club and all the ladies in my book club loved it, but I wasn’t totally over the moon for it. It was OK, but I didn’t love it. Maybe I’m the odd one, though.

          • Hi guys,

            Thanks so much for your feedback! So one big thumbs up and one sort of thumbs down so far. I’ve ordered it, am curious what I’ll think of it!

            And yeah, TLG, it appears that Rob signed on, also starring Reese Witherspoon and Sean Penn as her husband.

          • I’ll def read it.

    • D2d He looks so different!!! I think he’s doing this for his role in Bel Ami.

      • I love scruff, but am not so crazy about a full beard. Of course, Rob is hotter than Hale any which way. But his face is too pretty to hide under a beard.

        • I agree, much too pretty to hide under a beard…

        • D2d definitely too pretty to hide under a beard and it makes him look older. I don’t mind it but I’m sort of missing the jawporn.

      • Wow, have to get used to Robeard…

        Uhm, did he also get the memo that a beard is the new black??? Because Pitt is wearing one, and some other Hollywood dudes…I hope that he’s not going to braid it like Brad…*shiver*

        Who knew that Rob could grow such a full beard? I’m quite impressed…
        It brings out his eyes though…But it also ages him…Hmmm…

        I do think (and hope) that this is for his role, in the 19th century beards were a lot more popular…It’s his George beard…

        • He looks different doesn’t he? It’s like a new person.

          Gosh no, no beard braiding please.

          • Not enjoying the beard. At all. Scruffy I can do. The beard makes me itchy looking at it.

          • It’s sure different, SB…

            You know what image just popped in my mind???
            Of a woodchopper…If he’d only been wearing a plaid shirt in the photo’s, and then imagine him holding an axe…(although, Rob and an axe, that’s not safe)

            Maybe we should start calling him Robchopper as long as he’s wearing that beard? 😉

            Dear Robchopper,

            Please shave when the beard’s not for Bel Ami.
            We miss the jawporn…
            Preferably before you appear on the telethon tonight.

            Thanks sweety!

            Cath

          • TLG – it does look itchy.

            Cath – Here we call them lumberjacks, something like that! I thought about the same thing. I can imagine him holding an axe or an electric saw.

            Are you staying up to watch Hope for Haiti?

      • Oh yes, I was searching my mind for that word, lumberjack! Thanks, I came up with the British version, haha…Sometimes English can be confusing…

        And Rob with an electric saw, that somehow sounds creepy…and dangerous…:-)

        And yeah, I’m staying up, but it’s okay, tomorrow’s Saturday and I tend to be a bit of a nightowl…And at the moment I’ve got myself all hyper on chocolate…So I’m gonna be wide awake! Can’t wait, you?

        • Rob with an electric saw- no no no. That sounds way too dangerous!

        • Cath -yup like I said, lumberjack!!! Hon if he looked like this and I passed him by, I don’t think I’m even gonna recognize him.

          Yes I’m gonna watch, can’t wait, I’m also taping it. My DD is gonna still be awake at that time and I want to be able to watch whatever I miss.

          Chocolate sounds about good right now. I should go run to Walgreens and stock up on nuts and chocolate! I’m also a night owl, some nights I don’t go to bed til 3 AM. Enjoy! I will squee with you and all the other girls!

          • SB, Enjoy the chocolate, nuts and ofcourse The Rob! (same goes for all you guys!)

  37. I love that you can joke about beej’s and support Haiti all in one post! I knew there was a reason I loved you guys! You truly have a gift!

  38. I just hope Rob doesn’t mention anything about leaving piss in cups in hotel rooms or making out or “more” with the daughters of people who call in to donate..or about sex toys or about his mother birthing him from her &*& or any of those things that he usually says…..

    …..oh Rob….you are totally going to second-hand embarass us aren’t you??

    • What??? When did he make a comment about a sex toy and what exactly did he say???LOL I’m new to the this entire gasmic thing about Rob and LTR.

      • Oh yes he did! Go to youtube, all the lovely videos of word vomit are all there. Rob is so adorkable!

      • Enjoy the sex toy comment, Snapped

        Loved “look at you, you big freaking movie star.”

        Interview is adorable, too.

        • Yes, the T4 interview, one of my favs. I might have posted this before:
          Topics covered: digestive problems, adult movies, non-working sex toys, he probably leaves toilets with the seat up (a a question of cleanliness there) and he maybe peed in a cup and left it in a hotel room. Awesome!

          • dr, you are right, all the topics are covered!!

    • I’m a little worried too about the word vomit!

      • Really? He’s not Kanye West, afterall. I’ll bet this is going to be 100% scripted, and he’ll do an amazing job. We’ll have a great time talking it all through tomorrow, right?

        • I think it will be scripted too, but you never know with Rob! It will be fun to talk about tomorrow, you’re right!

        • And I think he’s far too polite to pull a Kanye-type thing!

          • Autocue will be Rob’s best friend this night…

  39. I have 3 questions. Just got home and I dunno anything.

    1. How do I call and donate if I don’t want Rob to know my name? Yeah OK you can laugh, there’s like 0 chance I have him (on the phone) but still. i am very well without a restraining order thank you.

    2. does anyone know where I can watch it in France since in my huge Tv pack with 1000000 tv channels I actually don’t have f. MTV?

    3. What’s the story, did he TAPE everything this morning? So no live?

    And the question of the questions, is he answering the phone?

    Thanks, I dunno if anyone reads the blog at this hour.

    • Hey Minuit! Don’t know answers to the others but your best bet for watching in France may be through the live broadcast on Youtube. That’s where I’m heading for, over here in the UK. MTV seems to have disappeared from my tv recently.

      Hope this helps.

      P.S. Why aren’t you sleeping this week?

      • Thanks. I finally found it on the site of MTV.

        P.S. I try to copy Edward. And not sleep.

      • Night owl here as well, MP! Piece of cake, staying awake, have to see Rob in motion!

        • Love you two for staying up…and being night owls. I’m in great company with you all.

    • minuit,
      On Robsessed said that the UK portions were taped.

      And I think if you call to pledge an operator takes the pledge and then passes you on to a celeb. I read that somewhere, not sure if it’s accurate.

      Check Robsessed for a list of websites that will show it.

      hope this helps-d2d

      • Thanks dtod.

        I think that if you’re outside the US you can’t call, otherwise they woudn’t direct people to the website. So does anybody gets Rob? I can’t believe they didn’t put a Rob line at least in the UK since it’s tha same language blabla.

        I love that Pretenders song.
        OMG Wycleaf Jean’s speech.

        • He was great, as was the man who was native to Haiti and tried to bring clean water to them pre-earthquake.

          • The guy who just talked.
            I think they speak live in the States.

          • OMG, Nicole Kidman looked human, much better, not so frozen. With her hair loose, she should keep that look. More warmth, less icequeen…

            That Reese Witherspoon phonecall sounded very tense…I dunno know, even Oscar winning actors can get nervous…She didn’t have to do the donation bit though. In the Dutch telethon the local celebrities did though, so they have it easy over there…They only have to talk, then they go back to an operator…

    • Looks like, instead of presenting the entire London bit, Rob taped a short plea, like DiCaprio, asking people to donate…It’s a different concept than we thought.
      Hope he comes on before Bono, I’d like that.

      Don’t know if he’s answering any phones, could be…At this point I’m clueless…
      But it’s all for a well deserved and needed cause. That’s the most important.

      (P.S. George’s wearing a beard as well, it’s all the rage)

      • They are going to save the best for last, also to keep people watching…Mark my words…U2 and Rob will be on towards the end I think.

        Rob’s only going to present a short plea…

        • Agree, Cath.

        • I’m sure. Rob better come out naked and doing cartwheels for making me watch all this tragedy. I can’t handle it. A and I’m not being flippant, I really don’t usually watch these kinds of things because I end up in tears.

          • It is really sad, but I feel like I need to be reminded of how good I have it.

      • I dunno why, I feel sad, i just wish people would remember more often that others are starving, not only when tragedies happen.

        On another note, back in business :
        this won’t be at all as fun as we imagined : no word vomit, no mistakes plus no “Rob I’ll go down for you’.
        And why did they flew in Steve, so he can watch on Rob taping a 1 min. speech?

        • Agree with you on the first point, but that’s the way of the world…How many people are starving now in Africa? May sound like a cliché, but that doesn’t make it any less true or relevant.

          Suffering…It can be found all over the world. But this earthquake is so heartwrenching because Haiti can’t seem to catch a break…Like…Never…

          Steve: probably because he’s filming Bel Ami now, MP.

          And no, no word vomit…:-(

          • It’s great that people are getting together for Haiti and it’s true they’ve been so unfortunate. It’s the least you can do now. But maybe if they had more help before, the catastrophe wouldn’t have been that big.

            OK I’m going back to study Rob’s “performance” now.

        • I had the crazy thought that wouldn’t it be effing amazing if Rob SANG?? Omg I would fall off the sofa in a puddle of drool.

          He won’t though 😦

        • I know, it’s so sad.

          Btw still no sign of Rob. I’m on yahoo by the way, if u feel like chatting.

  40. 33 minutes in and NO sign of Rob yet!

    • I love it, watching it with all you pervies out there.

      • Yes, this is amazing to watch with people in France, A-dam, Kentucky, Colorado, Germany….

        I’m grateful!

        • And you too, twimilf…down south..

          Wow, Christine Aguilera sure is grown up and gorgeous.

      • But after watching the Haiti images, my previous comment is soo stupid.

        • Minuit, SB wants to talk to you on Yahoo chat.

        • Yes we’re making silly comments and waiting for Rob, but it’s ok. We’re watching and donating too.

        • OMG i was reading your comments and lost Rob’s debut.
          But he was GREAT!!! Really!!! I was curious of how he’ll do!!! And he sure put on some weight.

          • Mama Pattz’ cooking did some good. I hope he didn’t lose that beautiful physique. I like to sees some ribs.

            Wow, he really looks so different.

          • mamma pattz or tomstu’s microwave

      • Rob!

    • Def prerecorded and he looked depressed! Well spoken though. Wonder how many takes that took? Either way, glad to see his face, which I agree is WAY too pretty to be hiding under that beard.

      • He did look depressed. He looks so different.

  41. That was awesome, but really short. Rob is awesome!

  42. did you see HHH?

    • Yeah, didn’t he look like a nervous schoolboy??? LOL, Rob talking about Twitter AND technology…That’s ironic…;-) He looks much younger, despite beard, on screen, funny, no?

  43. There he was, I almost bloody missed him!!! He was nervous as hell, reading autocue…awwww…
    I was wrong though, they DIDN’T save the best for last…And now Sting, well, still waiting for Bono now!

  44. AAAAAAAAAH! “Hope for Hay-tee dot Ahhhg.
    He sure didn’t bother to dress up , huh?

    • That was cute.

  45. Agree, Cath. His voice shook with nerves, but he did a great job, as usual.

  46. Rob just showed! What do y’all think girlies?

    • So cute, his nervousness, I AM repeating myself…
      Those nerves, it makes me like him even more, the same with you ladies?

    • He looked and sounded very nervous, but he did a great job.

      These stories are heart rending.

    • need to see that again since i’ve missed the beginning. did I mention I thought he was great? 🙂 better than I would have exected. way better.

      I don’t like Steve, reminds me that he’s a famous actor and that if Steve’s around there’s no behind the dumpster.

      • Yes, Minuit…I don’t like Steve around either. I don’t need to be reminded of Rob’s greatness. I get it.

      • yeah, Steve seems permanently attached.

        • let’s do a petition against Steve. We can all take turns and be Rob’s bodyguards.

  47. I hope they will collects loads of money!

    Sweet, sweet Robdreams everyone, still waiting for Bono, but I’m signing off here, can’t think straight anymore!

    • Good night, Cath. Nice hanging with you.

      Sweet Rob dreams to you!!
      lion

  48. D2D,
    I love your spelling of:

    “Hope for Hay-tee dot Ahhhg”

    Sweet!

    lion

  49. OMG Madonna has major problems with her voice … and ears.

    • Minuit, Isn’t it 2:30 am in your time zone? Middle of the night and you still bring the snark.

      luv ya,
      lion

      • lion …it’s 3.27am

      • I’m always in great shape at night. You never know ! Cannot say the same thing about mornings plus business lunches. Dying.

    • YES!
      no voice at all

    • I think she’s got problems with her crotch too. The camera cut away at least a couple of times after she grabbed it.

  50. Looks like everyone is signing off..goodnight, and sweet Rob dreams.

    • Sweet robdreams, girls.


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