Posted by: Bekah | November 30, 2009

The Cullen Capri’s Lady

Dear Rob,

There comes a time in every vampire blogger’s life when she has EPIC moments. There was the day when Moon & I decided the world needed our take in a blog about you, the time when we put Action Figure Edward in front of Ashley Greene’s face and took a picture and the time when Moon chased down the Pattinson Pants lady in San Diego in hopes she could get an interview! Some moments stick out well above others. Some moments will go down in history as my favorites along with my wedding, the birth of my cats and the time I found a vintage Chanel dress at the Goodwill for $17.00. The email we received last week is one of those moments:

Dear UC & Moon,

Well, the time has come. I’ve retired the Pattinson Pants, as previously discussed. Now, I will give LTR and LTT first shot at the second hand embarrassment comments and jokes as I offer for the New Moon Premiere Night… “Cullen Capris”…let the name-calling, me bashing begin!! I love them…….

The Cullen Capris. Will they be as loved as the Pattinson Pants?

Rob- Moon & I died. This could not REALLY be her, could it!? We jumped up and down. We held hands (no, not through the phone- we got this email when I was still in L.A!) and I immediately wrote her back sounding like a fangirl who just got an email back from your management telling her you agree to teach her how to have pretend movie-sex (I pray for an email response to the one I sent to Nick just like that every day):


Moon & I are fangirling seriously. We yelled out loud when we opened the email.
DO NOT THROW AWAY THE PATTINSON PANTS. We beg you. We love those so much. Ooh– idea…. MAKE JORTS OUT OF THEM!!!! (Or put them in a time capsule!)
I love love LOVE the Cullen Capris.
We looked for you at the premiere- we seriously did. If we met you our lives would be complete!
Hugs & THANKS for making our night! Best Day ever! We’re seeing New Moon tonight- and “meet” the Pattinson Pants lady before we leave!

UC & Moon

We waited patiently by our computers, checking our email every 5 seconds until….

I am indeed the Pattinson Pants Lady but I was NOT at the premiere, I’ve tried to convince everyone I’m not actually a stalker….hahaha…but I’m truly not! I did not throw them away, absofuckinglutely NOT!!!! I just retired them. Happy enough to say that as fat as I still am, I’ve lost a lot of weight, and they’re way too big. The Cullen Capris (had to go with the alliteration, of course) were made for the New Moon opening. I figure there are plenty of women ready to have a go at the second hand embarrased comments….let it ride, I’m ready. As I’ve said before, I don’t go out in these clothes to Target or Wal-Mart! I wear them to specific “Rob” events, and that’s it. Rob saw them at comic con btw…gave me a huge grin and a thumbs up. My husband was devastated, saying he’s making fun of me. I said, “Excellent! If he’s making fun of me, then I exist in his world!!!!” He doesn’t approve of my way of thinking…

So let the games begin….All I know is I love the man, and I have a damn good time making the shit, so I will. People can kiss my fat Pattinson Pants ass if they don’t like it! New Moon the way..


RIP (no.. not the lady- The pants!)

You heard her Rob (and concerned readers on LTR) The Pattinson Pants lady says she will absofuckinglutely NOT throw them away!

I’m grinning as I write this letter, remembering the moment when I opened the email and saw the Cullen Capris for the first time. It was another EPIC moment. On my list of things to do before I die I have written the following: 1. Hug Big Daddy Lautner 2. Befriend the Pattinson Pants lady 3. Sex (preferably real, but I’ll take fake movie sex if I need to) with Rob. I’m only 26 and I have already accomplished one thing on my list! I guess I should be expecting a returned letter from Nick any day letting me know when you’re going to teach me your movie-sex movies (or at least hear back from the PR department at McDonalds in response to my pitch to them about a LTT/Big Daddy Lautner advertising campaign.)


Thanks to the Pattinson Pants turned Cullen Capris lady for emailing us about your new pants! We may make fun of you and would never in a million years wear Pattinson Pants or Cullen Capris ourselves, but we love that you’re a good sport about it! Next time you see Moon chasing you down the streets of San Diego, stop and say hi (stop really fast so that she runs smack into you and falls right onto the picture of Rob as Cedric Diggory) and let her buy you a drink!

Confess: What have you done that we’d make fun of on LTR if we knew about it? If Pattinson Pants/Cullen Capris lady has the guts to send us pics knowing we’ll make fun of it, the least you can do is confess what you’ve done!

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTT, Twitter


  1. Well… The most embarrassing Twi related things that I’ve done are all on twitter. I don’t DO embarrassing in real life.

    You won’t catch me at any premieres screaming my head off or wearing questionable pants in public.

    Or even telling people to fuck off when they make fun of New Moon or the people attending it. I’ll just pull out the old KStew bitch glare and scare them into silence.

    • I tried to use the KStew bitch glare to defend my ego at the midnight showing. But there mere fact that I WAS at the midnight showing undermined the effect of the bitch glare. Dang.

    • oh twitter, glad that what happens on you, stays on you.

      p.s. i ❤ u, Pattinsonpants/Cullencapris lady! what a good sport. work it! (and congrats on losing so much!)

    • PATTINSON PANTS/CULLEN CAPRIS LADY, YOU ROCCCCKKKKK!!! LONG LIVE YOU!!!! I hope they give you a spot at the prop-making team for Breaking Dawn!! ;D

    • Yup. Me, too. The most embarrassing Twi things I’ve said/seen/shown have all been on Twitter, stone cold sober.

      I’m not gonna pussyfoot around this, Fang – I’m feeling the pash for the Google. 😉

  2. I can’t seriously be the first person to comment, can I?

    I just want to say that I love people like the Pattinson Pants/Cullen Capri Lady (can we abbreviate now? PPCCL?) who can, as Rob would say, take the piss out of themselves. Good for you, PPCCL! Keep rockin’ the capris until you lose more weight. Then I want to see Masen Mini!

    I haven’t really ‘done’ anything embarrassing – other than google Rob or come here every day to read about him. Which is sorta embarrassing. Oh, and I fantasize about him during sex with my husband (sometimes). That’s embarrassing enough, I suppose.

    • Rob would appreciate PPCCL’s ability to take the piss out of herself, if he wasn’t so weirded out by the PP or CC!! 😉 I am second hand embarrassed but I’m also first hand impressed – if you are going to make PP or CC you might as well be a good sport about it! Keep rocking PPCCL!

      • Yes- First Hand Impressed wins over Second Hand Embarrassed!

    • *snorts* Hale, yes! I don’t know if it’s actually embarrassing, considering it’s probably a common phenomenon, but ADMITTING that you fantasize about Rob during sex? Love. It. That you just said it. Out loud, even.

      • I know. After I clicked ‘submit’ I thought, ‘did I actually just admit that?’ Oh well, it’s NORMAL, right?

        • Completely and irrevocably normal.

        • Totally normal! Not that I’m saying I do that or anything, but if I did (which I’m not saying I do) I would think it would be considered normal! I hope.

        • NORMAL!

        • Normal!!! 😉

    • I heard it increases a woman’s fertility. So instead of feeling embarrassed we you can always blame nature, or Summit.

    • Believe me, I try very hard not to fantasize about Rob during sex but I fail miserably….every single time. *Head hangs in shame.*

      Thanks for admitting it, that’s very courageous of you!

  3. my friend and i stole display new moon crowns from burger king. we then put them on and posed in pictures with my little edward doll the night new moon came out. that’s normal???? hahaha

  4. I love how one leg is an ode to old skool Twilight Rob and the other to new skool New Moon Rob 🙂


    • Heaven forbid it be all random and catawampus.

  5. I hope there’s a photo of EC inside the fly of these capris. Don’t make me cobble together my own pair just to see it get done right!

    • You know that photo is there…

      • This is why you rule.

  6. Yes…the lady def. has guts..
    …for making these pants
    …for wearing them
    …for admit to have worn them at Comic Con
    …and at least for writing to LTR…:-)

    Rob gave her a thumb up and the GRIN…so she already had her big profit for having his attention for a moment…(as I can only repeat myself) so much better style than getting naked….
    So Lady with the Capri Cullen…you are a WINNER!

    But…and there is always a but…I would prefer to (die) remain the unknown Girl rather than wearing these pants in front of HHH! Sorry, too ugly! 🙂

    My dreams are different and surely there is no gadget/accessoire with Edward/Cullen WHATEVER in it…

    I’m dreaming about having sex with him (more than once a day…(the dreaming not the quantity of having it)….that’s the only embarassing thing…but..I guess…with Rob…It’s just NORMAL…

    • Perfectly normal! It’s called anticipating the future!

    • Wow you’re so naughty today!

      Hey guess what! I saw New Moon today, finalllllllllllllllly! I loved it!

      • Is that a bad thing? lol

        • No, never and of course you know I ❤ you! Especially when you've got a picture of Rob staring at me!

  7. I’ve never done anything twi-related that is that embarassing. I do pull Bella’s a lot though. My propensity for falling down is unmatched by most.

    And if LTR/LTT made fun of me it would make my life!

    Oh, wait, is this embarassing? I went shopping this weekend (holla Black Friday) and everything I bought can be related to Rob in some way. Pea coat, check, panties (some are PLAID!!!!), check, and How to Be (which I found totally freaking cute and the behind the scene things are precious).

    • I also watched How to Be this weekend – with my husband, who actually laughed at the movie! I almost called him a Unicorn but decided that having to explain it would take too long. Rob actually moved up a peg in my eyes because now I know he can do other stuff than, you know, brooding.

    • “How to be” is my favorite film, I love him so much in this movie…I have to admit…I am actually hating all that white Make up playing Edward…and I am looking forward for Tyler! Rob has such a beautiful face..

      NOTHING has to cover it!

      • I went to see New Moon again yesterday and was waiting with bated breath for the Remember Me trailer….as if I didn’t get home from the midnight premiere and favorite that shit immediately on youtube!

        I thought How To Be was really good. I honestly wasn’t expecting much and was pleasantly surprised. But my whole family was like WTF is up with his hair. I had to explain that the director wanted to ugly him up a little. But it couldn’t be done suckers!!!!

      • RobGirl86~
        Thanks for mentioning the white make up. I hate it so much. It ruins all my fantasy potential. Who is the freaking makeup person for NM? Afraid Eclipse will be more of the same… Can’t wait to see Tyler, too, and UNbound Captives and Bel Ami and anything else Rob does for the rest of my life.

    • There is one behind-the-scenes with Rob in How to Be where he is totally stoned and explaining to the interviewer how his character wants to be depressed, and the sexy smirk he gives the camera is hands-down the best Rob moment I’ve ever seen.

      • No…he was NOT stoned…he was just HAPPY! 🙂
        Love that part….too!

        • How can you tell the difference?

        • He was so “happy” 🙂 Loved it!

          Dear Rob,
          When will you understand that’s what the people want? We want real life Rob, we want to drink and share a blunt with you! No, I didn’t say anything about hot sex anytime anywhere. Do you think you can read minds or what?
          Get away from all these people who tell you to behave, they’re very bad influence for you.

          Me aka the dreamy girl still hoping tu bump into you in a pub somewhere in Europe.

          • Vraiment, Minuit Passe’

        • yeah. I thought he looked stoned too! It was a very cute Rob moment though. I wouldn’t care if he toked it up everyday!!

      • He gives quite a few sexy smirks in those things. I totally heart him even more now!

        He also asks “what the fuck was that?” while watching his dailies. Oy to the vey!

    • I just received How to Be from my Blockbuster queu the other day. Watching it tonight! Thanks for the heads up on all the smexy times!

    • PinkDolphin~
      Yes, thanks for bringing up “How to Be.” I loved watching Rob behind the scenes. Nothing embarrassing about that…

  8. Ya know, I don’t think i’d be oppossed to a GQ Rob G String…if anyone can come up with a vanity fair Rob anything I’ll be a proud mama.

    • If the G string comes to fruition, we will need photographic evidence.

  9. Oh, PPCCLady, how I admire your chutzpah. If I am ever chasing Moon down the street while she is chasing you down the street, I will totally kick in to buy you a drink. I am not brave enough to wear my Roblove on my pants, but I support such kooky behavior whole-heartedly.

    Keep Rockin the Pants, girl!

    And congrats on the weight loss! That is the best reason to retire the pants I can think of! But I am so glad you are absofuckinlutely NOT throwing them away.


  10. I first want to tell Cullen Capri lady CONGRATS!!!!

    If you lost weight and now the Pattinson Pants don’t fit…there in NOTHING second hand embarrassing about that!!! Great job!

    And now, I can’t hate on anyone that can put TWO pictures of Rob at a Piano on clothing. Nope, just can’t.

    I haven’t done anything for the cause but by Eclipse premier I might. I got almost 8 months and I’ll be drinking at it so the odds are pretty high SOMETHING will happen.

    • Just chant “discression and shame is for chumps” and you can write a book on your evening for us.

  11. OH, the most embarrassing thing I did was go to the NM midnight showing, and get there 3 hours early.

    That’s all I can think of….and if I didn’t actually see anyone I know there, can I really be embarrassed?

    • 6 hours…

      • You WIN!!

        What did you bring to do for 6 hours? Maybe we could have a nerd-off.

        (crossword puzzle)

    • I had lackies wait in line for me. I got to the theater at 10:55 (they were seating at 11:00) and walked right in. Work smarter…not harder!

      • Genius!! I would like to subscribe to your newsletter….

    • hour..
      and there were already tons of wacky girls..
      chattering for that “Robbie Patterson”
      I felt sooo embarrassed…no words!

    • I was late and didn’t stand in line at all. I THEN made the usher find seats for me and my friend. Turns out, we got pretty good ones! There was hate, though, OH the HATE. I heard 3 different groups make comments about how people shouldn’t be late and expect to get seats.

      1. I paid for the seats. I should get the seats. Duh.
      2. I’m a SURGEON! I was late because I was performing a triple-bypass! EXCUUUUUUSE ME for saving a life instead of standing in line!*

      * I am not a surgeon.

      • I’m totally going to use that line next time someone gives me the “bitch” face for walking in late to a movie.

  12. I love the Pattinson Pants lady! She is def a winner and I would proudly stand by her the next premiere so I could also get a “wink and a thumbs up” from our One and Only. I only hope the Capri’s have the same power as the pants! *crosses fingers*

  13. Yay! Congrats on the weight loss! Haven’t done anything really crazy, but as I sit hear reading about the PPCCL, I wonder would it be creepy to glue a pic of Rob upside down on a coke bottle? Then every time I drink from the neck of the bottle…well, you get the picture.*

    *Sarcasm: Never in a million years would I actually do this, but damn my mind has started getting whacked from these sites.

    • Perv.

  14. I love you Pattinson Pants Lady!! You have balls of steel and I love it!! The only reason I don’t have any pants of my own is that my hubs would freak the frik out! I love that you have fun with this robsession and the fact that you exist in Rob’s world!

    The only embarrassing thing I have done so far is say “sparklepeen” at my non-twilight Bunco group. Needless to say that my friends gave me a very strange look!

    • Yay on the Bunco group and on the sparklepeen comment! What did they say? I bet they jaws dropped when you explained it!

  15. Wow PPL has a husband – what a guy. Felt sure it was just her and the 40 cats !!!!

    *Just rushing off to the drawing board to perfect design of Tyler Tank Top*

    • I’ll take one of those Taylor Tank Tops, but not until Feb. 11th.

      Don’t ask me how I know that date. (“Just a lucky guess, officer.”)

  16. Dear PPCCL,
    Keep up the weight loss effort! By the time it’s summer, you’ll have such a stunning bod, that you can make your very own Edward Bikini. Please send pics, or it didn’t happen.

  17. So, uhm, PPL would be embarrases to wear her CCs to Walmart and Target, but not feel a tinge of self consciousness about meeting Rob in them? That’s mormal!

    Rob, she loves you more than I do and that saddens me. 

    • Mmmmhhmm…I don’t know it that was LOVE or BLACK DESPAIR…sorry PPCC

    • Yes, there’s something backwards in that logic. She won’t be humiliated in front of mere strangers, but lets it all hang out in front of HHH. Huh.

      • Touche’!

    • She definitely loves him more than us, egocentric people. That may or may not be unconditionally loving the other more than loving yourself.

      So Rob,

      Even if I still didn’t see your performance in New Moon, I can already tell you that you got it all wrong. You should have met the Pants Lady before the shooting, for inspiration.

      Dear PPL,
      Are you the one who got naked in front of Rob because you were losing the old Pattinson Pants? Congrats on you weight loss.

      • Surely her unconditional love is not as sexually driven as mine…
        it’s def. the platonic version…
        I am so NOT jealous this time…lol

        • That’s because you’re a perv, I already told you

          going to watch AGAIN some Remeber Me porn Rob.

          • Do that that…THAT’S unconditional sex love and I AM jealous <3, I am going to see NEW MOON for the third time, that's all I can get from Rob…..TODAY…lol

          • I think I’m finally giving in and going to see it this evening probably at 7, if I get there in time.
            embarassing girly teen moment: Can we just quietly scream since it’ll be like watching it together?

          • YES, as we are in the same time zone, I will do it…for you <3, 7.30h!

    • @minuit passé: Bad fan girl for just now going to see the HHH in NM. Also, the time is 7:54 PM by my estimation you should be in nearing Taycob coma if you went to see the 7 PM show like you said (read promised). I am green with envy ’cause I am still at work. booo!

      @minuit passé: I think its sweet of you to congratulate PPL on her resent weight loss. Although I have my suspicions that it wasn’t really weight she lost, but perhaps something more related to self-preservation.

      @robgirl86: Someone once sent me a this visual <====3 to demonstrate a sparklepeen… so now every time I see this ❤ I just see a shorter version of said sparklepeen. So stop putting miniature sparklepeens on my mind. Wait scratch that! Ok, bad choice of words. Make it stop!

      @dazzletodeath: "but lets it all hang out in front of HHH." Bow chicka bow BARF!

      • Actually here it’s 2.40 AM and while you’re still at work I should be in bed. Guess I’ll have to continue my beauty sleep tomorrow at work. And it’s not easy, sometimes they expect me to attend and even speak during meetings. Seen the taycob but not impressed, not my style AT ALL. But I like you a lot if it helps,the jokes and the avatar.

        • Hey there! Hope you catch up on your beauty sleep! Have u seen NM yet?

        • Awww. I made a new ltt friend…. Now if I can just figure out how to type your name without all the cutting and pasting. heee hee. My crush is really on Jacob, Taylor is just his host. If he was recast, I would totes follow him…. Jacob, that is.

          I am equal opportunity with my monsters…err fantastical creatures.

          Coincidentally, your avi appears to donning a sparklepeen… 🙂 just saying. But that’s normal.

  18. I can’t believe you guys made contact with the one and only PPL! AMAZEBALLS! So glad I’m coming back to good news after a five day hiatus spent with family who do not “get it.” It was the most boring five days in the real world of my life.

    Dear Pattinson Pants Lady a.k.a. Cullen Capris Lady,

    I am so happy that you exist in Rob’s world, even if it was just to give him a little chuckle. But Lord knows, if I ever meet him I hope to give him a lot more than a little chuckle ifyouknowwhatimsayin. But seriously, I totally admire your cahones and the fact that you have an awesome sense of humor. Keep on keepin’ on, PPCCL!

    Dude, I Fursploded

    • Love your little letter…but
      Ladies, let’s be honest…PPCC Lady had NO CHANCE in hell to get more than a little chuckle…:-)

      • I wasn’t trying to get any more than that…a beautiful smile and a thumbs up, that’s it. Now, do I dream of sex with him constantly??? ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY!!! As soon as he decides he wants an old, fat, married, mom of 2…I’m first in line. Until then, I’m happy to exist as the “fat chick in the scary jeans” done and done.

        • BUSTED! Madonna REALLY have GUTS…and I am feeling bad…a bit…lol…but…as you said…you already got your ROBSMILE!
          So, don’t hate me… but …honestly…NOT my STYLE!

          P.S. I guess now you are a skinny chick in the scary jeans….and THAT is a great WIN too!

        • Are you sure he was just giving you a thumbs up and he really wasn’t meaning “My room is upstairs, let’s see what our pants look like all over the floor”?

          • Okay, that is possibly the happiest thought I’ve ever had. Thank you. 🙂

        • I’m an old, fat, married mom of 2 also. I might fight you for first place in line. I’ll get to work on some pants of my own. 😉

  19. My husband got me a BK crown, two placemats and a table card. They wouldn’t let him buy the cards without purchasing a meal, and he didn’t want their crappy food, so no cards :(. Yes, I make my husband do all the embarrassing things.

    What kind of strange creature gets a kick out of being humiliated in front of Rob?? She’s happy that Rob saw the crazy that is the Pattinson Pants? Whatever floats your boat I guess. Are you sure that’s really her?

    • I gotta agree with you here. I wonder what was really going on in Rob’s head when he saw The Pants. I bet the thumbs up really meant “I am praying she doesn’t have a roll of duct tape and some cholroform in those pants….”.

      • LMAO!
        …and he is really NOT the guy to give thumbs down to sb.!

      • I think it was a signal to Steve/Dean.

    • It’s really me. I didn’t chase Rob down to show him or anything. It was actually a guy standing by me who said, “Rob, check out her pants!” That prompted the smile.

      • Well, more power to you, I guess. You certainly have a good sense of humor about it all.

        • She has! I would so not be able to read/listen to all that comments/critics today!
          Now I need a Heineken….or two, PROST!

      • Hey, the most embarrassing thing I ever did was take a photo of the fish fry in the grocery store for the forum girls. And I didn’t even get a nod from Harry Clearwater, so you are already ahead of the game! Good job!

      • I love you, PPCCL! PPCCL for President!

  20. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Maryann Bjordal, beangela romero. beangela romero said: RT @twilightus: Perfect! RT @letter2twilight Something truly EPIC happened to us: Yes- the Pattinson Pants Lad … […]

  21. Ummm… I’m way too excited about you hearing from Pattinson Pants Lady. Like this isn’t natural.

    I love that she has a sense of humor about it. She knows she’s crazy but she doesn’t care. Hello and welcome to the club.

    • Srsly-I saw this post and squeeled with joy…
      Who knew I could get so excited about PPCCL?
      BTW PPCCL-you REALLY ARE such a good sport about this!

  22. My friends and I made t-shirts for New Moon opening night. They were pretty freaking sweet! I wish I got a picture of the 3 of us in them. That’s probably the most embarrassing thing I’ve done. Besides sleep on the mall floor to meet Kellan Lutz =)

    • Oh and Cullen Capris Lady, you are a brave soul to don those pants!

  23. Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by letter2twilight: Something truly EPIC happened to us: Yes- the Pattinson Pants Lady made CONTACT!…

  24. This is my first LTR comment, but I couldn’t not comment today. I’m crying. This is marvelous. ::tries to breathe::

    • I KNEW you’ve been lurking around here this whole time! Welcome, welcome, to the freak show that never ends. Come, sit by me. Would you like to help with my knitting? It’s a Billy Burke Burka, just for you.

      • S-pizzle: Too much! But no, I saw the tweet about pattinson pants lady and couldn’t resist. It was simply too much. ::falls over::
        I’m down with the burka…once I’m all famous I’ll need it. Burka and my K-Mart avatars, FTW.

  25. I have a Rob soap dispenser. It’s in my powder (bath)room. I had someone make it for me for a Twilight DVD party that I held last spring, where the powder room was decorated all Rob with red Christmas lights. The pic of him is from the Sex Drive / Summit movie premiere, with the really giant crazy greasy hair. LOL

    • Can we see a picture?

    • A picture, or it didn’t happen!

  26. When I was at the Twilight event at the movie theater in San Diego, I saw the stars at the front of the theater and got so excited I walked into the street! A cop put his arm out and stopped me right before I got hit by a car – put his arm out and was screaming “You’re going to get hit by a car! You need to get back up on the sidewalk!” But I was all “OMG! IT’S MIKE NEWTON!” and then “OMG! IT’S RPATTZ!” and I TOTALLY ignored the cop and just stood there screaming and sighing like an insane person.

    I’m a 44-year-old woman and acted like a 6-year-old. I still can’t believe the idiocy that still lives within me and is awakened by Twilight.

    • I love your name…double ROB plus “Mama” ?
      Hey girl come on… what are you talking about???lol

    • Imma do a slow clap for that one. To lose one’s instinct for self-preservation? That’s obsession.

  27. I remember the first time j saw pattinson pants. I was sitting in my world religions class (obviously taking great notes on Hinduism) when I saw them. Oh memories!!

  28. I so respect PPCCL for owning her obsession. I can’t go there myself, I’m totally in the closet–I keep my GQ and Vanity Fair mags hidden, switch screens on my computer from watching Rob interviews back to the spreadsheet I’m supposed to be working on if someone comes in the room. Ordered How to Be and the Haunted Airman from Amazon in plain brown wrappers and watched when no one was home. I have empathy now for addicts of other drugs/obsessions.

    The most embarrassing fangirl thing I’ve done is send Rob a book in the mail that I thought he would like to read, even knowing fan mail probably ends up in a big trash can in Stephanie’s office.

    I’m pitiful. Sigh.

    • I have to ask: what book did you send him? Go ahead and answer…we’re all normal here.

      • Why do I feel like I’m at an AA meeting and about to admit my problem for the first time? OK. It was A Confederacy of Dunces. I think Rob should play the character of Ignatius J. Reilly. The plaid, the bad hygiene, the dirty sheets, the interest in classical literature. It would be casting against type, but it might be the only way the movie would finally get made. And Edi Gathegi as Burma Jones. I know, say it, I have a severe problem.

        • The Old One~
          Great idea about “Confederacy of Dunces.”

          I tried to donate money on his behalf to a Humane Society in London…for his dog Patti, but never could get it to work out. Wrote him a postcard, but tore it up.

          Anyone have a hidden “Rob-type” tat?

        • A friend gave me that book recently and despite her rave reviews its been sitting on a shelf. But after your post I’m strangely motivated to read it 😀
          That’s normal right?

          • I liked the book and that “The Old One” sent it to Rob, but don’t know about Rob in the part. I love the book because it’s a classic and because I’m from New Orleans and enjoyed hearing about places I used to go. The book might just be quirky enough to intrigue Rob.

    • I love that I’m not the first pervy curious. So here it is:
      It depends on the context : did you lick every page before, did you included some very charming (read naked) pictures of yourself, did you at least put your real name on?

      • Believe me, naked pictures of myself would not be charming! I’m The Old One. But my real name was on there.


    This blog post just totally made my day.

  30. Is anybody else starting to feel the Rob drought?? 😦

    • I could reply something very pervy like – I didn’t feel it yesterday while reading fanfic- but I’m not gonna do that.

    • Me…me..I feel a deep Rob drought, ….before..during..and…after reading fanfiction…and the whole rest of the day!

    • I won’t even say the word cause it scares me. And New Moon or fanfic just don’t do it for me. I’ll buy my first Twilight goodie when they’ll release the anti-drought meds. But I’m hoping the Rob Pattinson sex toys line will come out really soon. OK, I think I might need some sleep.

  31. A few weeks ago a coworker gave me a piece of shiny gold Werthers candy, and I said, “Wow, that’s serious like tweed!” Which earned me a crazy look, naturally, and I did NOT try to explain. The candy is still in the pocket of my hoodie, and everytime my hand finds it, I smile and think Robward thoughts.

    Not very embarrassing, until I tried to relay this story to the hubs, who was unimpressed.

  32. “the Pattinson Pants Lady made CONTACT”
    When I read this tweet I envisioned her floating in the atmosphere in a Cullen Capsule protected by an army of Twilight Troopers in the Saga Spaceship. But that aside…

    Dear PPCCL,
    Yes I laugh at your pants. But I also laugh at the little wolfboy’s abs, Ashleys not so private photo collection, the approaching death of Kristen’s cat and Rob’s wardrobe choices. You’re in some mighty good company I’d say. 😉

    • Love your mind. Close encounters of the 2-hand embarrassing kind. Too funny, with the cat and the “private” photos.

      Thanks for the Monday morning chuckles. They were needed.

  33. Stepping into a Hot Topic one time was embarrassing. I don’t think I can do that again. I get weirded out walking by now.

    I’m having pre-embarrassement anxiety about having to buy my own FSE (full-sized Edward). But I won’t have any embarrassment putting him in my passenger seat.

    • I’ve always wondered about you, friend. WHAT, pray tell, are you exactly required to do to fulfill your role as Rob’s Bitch? Do you have to make sure the plaid does not get ironed? Are you responsible for removing the condom wrappers from the Hot Pocket fort? Or, and please, please, please, let this be the case . . . are you the custodian of the sparklepeen?


  34. This is just funny/slightly embarrassing. Last night my bf was flipping through channels and went by Chris Hansen doing his thing and I was “CHRIS HANSEN!!!!!!!!” and started laughing. My bf was like “wtf? do you want him or something?” Then I had to explain how he is Taylor Lautner’s protector….he didn’t seem as entertained by the idea as he should be. I think when anything becomes Twilight related, he just tunes out. 😦

  35. I saw Hot Pockets in the supermarket (in Wales) for the first time ever this weekend and I nearly bought them, just ‘cos Rob likes them. I’ve seen NM 7 times. My name’s Julie and I’m a Robaholic.
    That’s the limit of my public madness; privately – ah well that’s another thing totally – but normal!!

    • So normal…I saw NM actually 3 times, one for me, one with a friend, one with the teens of my class…tomorrow I am gonna see it for the last (!) time…in english! And that will be the best one, dubbing Rob with that german creepy voice was PAINFUL! PAINFUL! They dropped the moaning in german!That was cockblocking pur!

      The best part? Half-nekkid Rob and kissing Rob! 🙂

      • Hey I thought about you today while I was watching! I watched NM all by myself. The moan…wow, it was fantastic.

        • I am posting it twice I guess:
          I think I love you ❤ Can YOU marry me? lol

          • Aww, is it Rob in your avatar the one asking me to marry? If so, yes I’ll marry you over and over again! 🙂

      • Robgirl, did you just admit to finding a reason to watch NM during work? And publicly expose yourself in front of some horny teens? You have all my respect and deep admiration. What subjects did you discuss after, a certain sparkling effect? Did you choose the German version because you were afraid of your reaction to the moaning?

    • Last week I wrote here I was a Robaholic but I’d like to apologize and take it back cause I could never compete with your 7 times New Moon. Plus I’m starting with a serious handicap, just lost my New Moon virginity tonight.
      But we have one thing in common, I also discovered last week they had Hot Pockets in France and hesitated buying one but then got distracted by the Saint-Jacques take away thing.
      Some other time Rob, some other time. When you’ll help me to choose one.

      • Yeah so you saw New Moon today! Me too!!!! Let’s do a happy dance! We’re a little late in seeing it but who cares? 🙂 I’m going again on Monday! Woot! Do you know I was so excited but couldn’t scream at the theatre…so what did I do? The minute I walked home I screamed for like 10 minutes! My husband was home and he was laughing so hard at me! He was like “wow that good huh?”

        RE: hotpockets, you know I’ve never had them. Are they good? I’m gluten-free and they aren’t. I’ve always been curious.

      • I know. I’m sad. I have to get a life. Wait…. I have one – it just happens to be totally centred around HHH!!

  36. That. Was. Epic.

  37. Thankfully my most embarrassing moments have been limited to repeating some of the stuff on here to friends and family.
    It’s easy to forget that not everyone is familiar with Cathy the Cougar, Big Daddy Lautner, and the sparklepeen, or recognizes the significance of a dumpster…

    • True story. You mention something, then realize that everyone on LTT/LTR would have thought it was funny, then it ends up not being funny because no one gets it and it takes waaaaaay to long to explain.

  38. All of my most embarrassing moments happened on Nov 18th. First, I made shirts for my girlfriend & I that had a pic of edward & Bella hugging, but I photoshopped in our faces over kstew. And I wrote “before you, my life was like a moonless night” below the pic. Then I went to the movie with my CBE (cardboard edward) and we all (I met 4 more crazy friends there) poseorgor pictures with Edward at the concession stand, and in the lobby and by our seats. And then when New Moon ended, we got in the car & drove to another theater & saw it again (with CBE).

    PPCCL – I am tremendously impressed by your ability to laugh at yourself. That may be the key to long term happiness. Congrats on needing to make new pants b/c the others were too big! And congrats on the thumbs up from RPattz – I’m sure he did it because he was amused by your dedication. Or maybe b/c he wanted to take you upstairs 🙂

  39. I think most of my embarrassing stuff is private…oh there was one thing which I’m too scared to share, especially since you can see my face on my avatar!

    I do have a Twilight blanket(don’t ask me why I always fold it in a certain why so it’s just Rob’s face showing), a homemade pillowcase with Rob’s face on it (big) and a huge robporn collection which I’m desperately hiding from hubby. Oh and a months ago I got this picture of Rob from the Oscars and I actually put it in a frame. My DD started saying that’s her papa so my hubby took it and hid it and now I can’t find it at all!!!!

    • Ho honey… so here we are…

      1) I saw the pillow…and it’s great! Best pic ever!
      2) Twilight blankets are very “en vogue” since the MTV interview!
      3) A hidden Robporn collection is a “must”, we ALL have! Some porn is so hidden, I even can’t find it by myself!
      4) The problem is the Oscar-Rob-frame! You have to find it!!!…actually man aren’ t very skillful of hiding things…
      so..I guess..a) his wardrobe behind the socks…2) the garage..3) behind some whiskey bottle…or …4)..last idea, he put it in YOUR wardrobe…lol

      With the avatar you are right: I CAN SEEEEE YOU! lol

      • Hey I like this pic in my avatar because it makes me look tan! 🙂

        You’re right, I absolutely need to find that frame with Oscar Rob. He was not happy that his child thought Rob was her papa! They sort of have similar features but of course no one is like Rob!

        Big hugs to you darling!

    • Hey southernbelle.

      Love your official and home made Rob goodies (I think the word never fitted better the objects it designates).
      Does it make me a BAD fangril if I don’t have any of that, or can my twisted mind compensate?
      The photo story is hilarious. And kids are so smart nowadays, your 2 year old understood things you probably didn’t even say.

      • Minuit passe – no you’re not a bad fangirl! I think I’m just crazy, that’s all!

        The pillow was made by my brother. Oh I have a shirt too, forgot to mention that. It says “I love boys that sparkle!” Yes I’ve worn it quite a bit and people looked! Whatevs!

        Hey I did good, I corrected my daughter, I told her NO, that’s not your daddy!

  40. Ugggh I’m full of excitement so please excuse all my errors! I’m basking in my New Moon afterglow today!

    • Hahaha…it’s normal that I cannot find errors in your post?
      Although my english is soooo bad, I’m typing every day like a great dump….
      that’s the ROBSESSION! lol

  41. Yay for PPCCL! Rob knows how to drive us all to do crazy, second hand embarassing things. I teach high school students, and they are all aware of my Twilight Love. I have a small picture of Rob hanging on my board behind my desk, and when students ask I refer to him as my boyfriend. My bathroom hall passes are also Twilight inspired, the boys pass has a picture of the Edward Barbie, and the girl pass has the Bella Barbie. I am considering making a Jacob pass as well.

    So, most of my embarassing moments are seen and heard by my students. But I do it on purpose so they can learn not to take themselves (and life) too seriously.

  42. Friday nights, causing 1st hand embarassing moments fueled with liquor and my bad spelling….but BRING IT! I don’t care….

    PS Let’s do this!

  43. I actually went to Forks….hangs head in shame

    • No.. no, that’s GREAT! So much better than the pants…upps sorry PPCC..LOL!

  44. i admit to “borrowing” the life size cut out of rob that they have at the entrance of Nordstroms. . . . and its in my room by my bed. . . . thats normal?

    • So very normal.

  45. Most everything embarrassing I do is second-hand. I live vicariously through my BFF PPCCL, because I have no cojones myself. But…..I’ve been in the actual physical presence of the original PPs…I know your jealousy is painful now! I also suggested a “certain” picture for a special spot inside the CCs (Xylem’s avatar, in fact), and personally provided the Cedric pic for the originals (I love me some Cedric). So now everyone can make fun of me instead, for being lame enough to think of these things and talk my dear friend into actually doing them. OK, admittedly, it doesn’t take much persuasion….thank GOD for her!!!

    Oh, and that line for when Rob decides he wants a fat, middle aged, mother-of-two? I’ve been camping in it with PPCCL for a year now.

  46. So ladies, good night, b/c of my Roblove I am goona sleep 5 hours all in a hurry…and that’s REALLY embarrassing!

    • Forgot…Good night Robert! 🙂

  47. I have seen NM 2 times. first midnight showing. got there late (i was pissed) and had to sit in the front row. went to it again last saturday night. it was an 8pm show. got there in plenty of time and it was fucking packed out. front row again!!dammit!
    as far as embarrassing twilight moments. well i don’t know but when i am in barnes and noble i really really want to look at all the rob/twilight books or mags but i feel everyone is looking at me. why? why am i ashamed of my love for Rob?
    we possibly need a therapy session. if anyone knows of one let me know!!!!

    • I’m guessing the one who comes up with a therapy would become a very rich person. Taking advantage of emotionally weak people who lost their minds.
      As for the shame it depends: if you officially don’t have anything to do in Barnes but hang out there, well, you can buy magazines with Rob cause it can’t be worst than what you’re doing. Lol.
      But I suppose you live there (you are lucky, you know that?), I can completely understand why you can’t risk second hand embarrassment either. Cause small town, small talk, and one day you’ll find yourself in a posh dinner (is it a posh neighbourhood?) with someone who knows someone who knows Rob, and someone else will say: “Are you the girl who was drooling on Rob’s photo from OK Magazine?”.
      And here’s my moment of second hand embarrassment: please tell me things on Barnes, anything that could be Rob related, even by far.

    • Hahah, nah don’t be ashamed! You know some clerk at Borders laughed at me when I asked for the Vanity Fair magazine? She was like “oh that one!” Pfft. Don’t be embarrassed. I look/stare (no drooling involved) at the magazines that have Rob on the cover, which is pretty much everything! Most people when they see me think I’m in high school so they immediately assume that’s why I’m looking.

      You know every now and then when my robsession hits an all-time high, I do think of getting therapy! Haha! “Hi I’m SB, SAHM and I’m a robaholic.”

    • Reading LTR is a therapy session for me!

  48. um…i don’t really do embarrassing things…i don’t think.

    For the New Moon premiere, I made a tshirt that said “Edward was a Hufflepuff”. Where I got all artsy and wrote the “Edward” part in his handwriting. And the “Hufflepuff” part in Harry Potter writing. I ended up not even wearing it. It is still fantastic.

  49. “stop really fast so that she runs smack into you and falls right onto the picture of Rob as Cedric Diggory”
    Today was “presentation day” (in my Int’l Mktg class) and one of those presentations was 39 slides long, so I was reading this amazing letter in my BB and when I read that sentence…i just couldn’t stop myself…my professor almost kick me out of class….
    CCL…you totes rock my Twilight World!!!!

  50. Dammit! I am just checking the blog at 12:30 am on Tues morning, first time since Sat, and I have missed this epic moment! Unbelievable! I have no words……..yeah, I have no words, LOL!

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