Dear Rob, day after day, week after week for ALMOST an entire year now, we have written about you, talked about you and read letters our readers wrote TO you! We’re jealous. Where’s the love for us- the actual girls reading & writing day after day, week after week? So when we got a letter for US this week, we couldn’t help but want to post it (even though it does mention you a bit). So deal with it this Sunday, ok? I’ll see you tomorrow. Love, UC
Confession: How I developed an acute fondness for all things ROB
Dear UC & Moon,
Just sitting around a couple of months ago, feeling sorry for myself cuz I just got laid off, my son came home from college for the weekend and promptly assumed his usual horizontal position on the couch and began reading a book. To my extreme surprise it was not a textbook but a regular work of fiction that he said his girlfriend was making him read. Making him read? I haven’t been able to make him do anything since he was a baby and I could physically move him from one place to another.
As the weekend was coming to an end he plopped the book on my coffee table and declared “That was really good. Definitely a chick book but still a real page turner”.
I had a little extra time on my hands, being unemployed and all, so I borrowed the book telling him I would return it to his girlfriend the next week. I sat down that very evening after he left and began….it was like an alcoholic who takes their first drink or a teenager who smokes their first cigarette or and meth head who…you know what I mean. I woke up the next morning, still fully dressed in my big chair with drool on my cheek and the book across my boobs. What the f&%$#k?
I got up, put on a pot of coffee and returned to my big chair to finish the book. Exactly 10 seconds after I read the last page I called my son and sweetly asked, “WHAT THE HELL? IS THERE ANOTHER FRICKING BOOK? THIS CAN’T BE ALL”.
“Mom”, he said in a calm but condescending voice, “There are 4 books, you read the second one”. He then explained through his laughter that I should rent the movie for the first one. He could not possibly fathom why anyone would want to read a book instead of just watching the movie. So, I did as I was told and trotted my happy ass to the local Blockbuster and rented Twilight, watched it, oh……I’d say 6 times. Huummmppppp…..it was ok I guess but who the hell is this kid playing Edward Cullen? “Too young…too young…too young”, come on say it with me!
Over the course of the next 2 weeks I had purchased all 4 books plus the DVD of Twilight. I read each book too many times to count and then of course the DVD played on my decrepit player each and every night. I noticed the magazine section at the grocery store and saw his face staring at me, calling my name, and I am positive he winked at me.
OK…that is when I really started to get worried. He’s 4 years older than my son for god sake! I couldn’t stop. I began surfing the net for hours at a time, finding robsessedpattinson.com. It was sent from Heaven just for me. Something was really not right with my head, what was wrong with me? Bathing and eating were an after- thought. That’s normal, right? I decided that maybe I was depressed stemming from the unemployment thing. I have never been a depressed person though and believe me I have had my reasons to be. I definitely needed to make a doctor’s appointment and get on some of those happy pills I’ve heard so much about.
But then, just in time, I found LETTERS TO ROB. You ladies saved my life and a $20.00 co-pay. Oh my God, there are others. I read the letters, the comments, everything from you and your brilliant family of ROB lovers. The wrist-holding post this week was particularly great (wrist holding) and I guffawed my loudest most un-ladylike laugh. The dog jumped 4 feet in the air and stared at me as if I had lost my mind. The great thing is though because of you, I know I have not. Thank you-thank you-thank you! You are geniuses.
I imagine the progression into the wonderful world of all things ROB was a similar progression for many of us. Yes, I get to be an us. Please keep up the great work.
With love and adoration,
After the jump, it’s business time
With the premiere on Monday and movie releasing Friday, our inboxes are STUFFED with crap we gotta chat about. So put on your business socks- It’s business time.
FIRST: Will you be in LA next week? Wanna meet us? Email us because we’re doing something somewhere at sometime Tuesday night 🙂
SECOND: Have you heard about The Fandom Gives Back? Some awesome fanfic writers have partnered with TONS of Twi-sites (including us!) to raise money for Alex’s Lemonade Stand. Donate here OR participate in the auction that starts TODAY at 10 am EST.
THIRD: Alex’s Lemonade stand is actually giving away a NEW MOON SCREENING FOR 50 people! from now until Monday. Win this. And invite me. I’ll bring cupcakes. Read details here
FOURTH: Cathy the Cougar opened her big mouth for a second and instead of taking a big gulp of a TGIFriday’s margarita special, she outted Robsten. And THEN told MTV she’d let them have the Rob & K audition tape. So Monday (the 16th) starting at 10pm EST on MTV, there will be TWO New Moon specials… and at some point the audition tape we have all dreamed about (and replaced Kristen Stewart’s face with our own) will be shown!
FIFTH: Wanna win New Moon tickets? Gather.com is giving them away. Read about it here
I love Business Time: