Suddenly overwhelmed by the amount of Rob news, pictures and gossip floating around on the interwebs? Don’t know how to prioritize which stories to read, which magazines to buy and which pictures to blow up as 8 x 10s, crop out that “girl,” laminate and hang in your shower? I feel ya. So as I did yesterday on LTT, I took one for the team and spent the evening ignoring the cries of agony of the Philadelphia Phillies fans around me and caught up on all the Rob news anyone would ever want to know ever. Seriously, I watched like 23 fan videos of Rob in Japan including the one entitled, “Rob Pattinson kissing me in Japan” which turned out to be a 18 minute play between some young Japanese girl’s Hello Kitty keychain figurine & Pocket Edward (Who does a little more than kiss that poor kitty cat).
- Rob finds out that there’s a thrift store next door to his hotel in Toyko and walks in and says (through his translator) “Give me the highest Japanese fashion you’ve got” And the translator makes a mistake and says to the store owner, “Robert would like a varsity jacket from the 60s that a 10 year old boy could fit into.” He was in luck! The store had one.
- No seriously, Rob actually did go to Japan, but I only got through :35 of the first video before deciding I don’t care what he has to say about New Moon because I’m going to see it in TWO WEEKS from tonight! But if you care (or if you, like me, like to screenshot the D.I.L.F. every chance you can get) Watch all the vids here
- It’s possible Rob IS reading something other than porn inside those pretentious books of his! He makes a political joke about being the guy who wrote a health care bill for Obama (#5) Also, we learn “Things we didn’t know about Rob” that we did already know (Get some new stories Rob! You can’t drive- got it. You blossomed at age 12 (I’d beg to differ) You’re cheap (see bullet point #1). You don’t wash your clothes got it. Tell us something NEW!
- Rob lands in L.A., Moon makes a joke about needing to “Run over to LAX” for something and I haven’t heard from her in like…12 hours. You don’t think….. No…. maybe??
- New pics emerge of Rob as a child and he looks so much like my ex-boyfriend when he was younger that I’m half-tempted to call him up and attempt to rekindle the romance just in case he turned out to look like Rob in the past 8 years.
Even though last time he called me he didn’t say anything and instead held the phone receiver up to his radio that was blasting Puddle of Mud’s song “She F*cking Hates me”. That’s Normal… right?
stupid spacing issues
- Rob washes his hair for the first time with a hair cleaning product and it doesn’t know what to do. So it does this fluffy “Yay I’m clean” hair-dance and ends up look like this, which can only be described as exactly how a newborn baby’s hair looks after it’s first bath.
- Michael K. gives an opinion on Robsten: He doesn’t believe in their magicness. He thinks Rob is too busy pondering over things like corn than to be bothered with trivial things like banging hot chicks. If this guy wasn’t super flaming, Moon would’ve married him 5 times by now. Here are more of his thoughts on Robsten
- Ever wondered what the real story was behind Rob almost getting smashed to smithereens this summer by a cab in NYC? Our fav Rob video makers are back. So now we know:
How’s that for a quick newsflash? Feel informed? Good! Me too!
Happy to help. Love,
Psst. I love Moon