Posted by: themoonisdown | October 26, 2009

Subliminal Advertising? Or do Rob’s fans/magazine publishers “get it?”

Dear Rob,

As I was traipsing (yes, I frolic through the interwebs) around my favorite sites and through my emails I couldn’t help but notice some funny stuff. We all know the poor print industry is really feeling it these days, what with the internet stealing their glory and I saw a few things that caught my eye. Us here in the blogging/site world have post title’s where we can create titles to try and lure readers in or hope and pray to God it shows up in an appropriate (or not so much) Google search, but the print folks don’t have that, instead they have headlines and from what I’ve seen it looks like they’re using them for everything they’re worth trying to pique us readers’ interest to pick up the mag and actually buy it. And well from the stuff I’ve seen I definitely think they’re doing that! Sometimes even at your expense and those are the best times (of course)!

First we have the Series City magazine and they’ve titled this the “Hors Series.” I mean we know you’re a man whore Rob, but what about those two sluts behind you? Ashley, well we’ve seen her goodies all over the interwebs after she made the classic “Oh I’ll take nudie pics on my computer for my boyfriend of 3 days and email them so he’ll love me forever even though he’ll probably show them to his gross sweaty friends and then years from now after I dumped him at a Frat party will release them after I’m big and famous” mistake of your youth. As far as Kristen goes, she wears pot leaf bikini’s on boats so I’m just gonna go ahead and say “if the shoe fits, wear it!” Oh Whores Magazine we love you and your subtlety!

Follow the cut to see the rest of the best in funny magazines

As Robsessed pointed out this Russian New Moon poster AND now the Bulgarian New Moon poster just MIGHT be calling Rob and Kristen hobos. Clearly “hobo” is the same in any language and we can call out a couple of hipster homeless kids, no matter what language we speak, when we see them from a mile away even when they’re dressed up as movie characters.

Free!!! Seriously, take them, PLEASE! We have nothing left! Robsten/Nonsten? We don’t know, they don’t know, no one’s telling, no one’s seen them. They’re yours! FREE! (This magazine brought to you by Twilight/Rob bloggers everywhere)

“Choose the right outfit every time!” – Rob and Kristen wrote this article together and the only words under the title are: “Wear Plaid!” Simple, no?

“Simple acts that make him melt” – Kristen wrote this one using tips from her relationship with Rob and the stuff that really makes him melt. The “sweet acts” she came up with were:
– shower every other week
– don’t eat the last Hot Pocket (which is hard since there’s only 2 in a box)

She’s all about simplicity! Rob, this one’s a keeper!

And all Rob’s people said: “AAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEENNN” upon seeing you in this New Moon image. Obviously LTR ladies publish this magazine cause who else would use that kind of word in reference to “His Holy Hottness” as the folks like to call you these days, Rob but we’re not sure we’d call Edward one of the 10 Greatest Movie Nerds. You? A nerd? Most definitely! But Edward, a nerd? Never!

So Rob, when you’re traipsing (cause you frolick too!) through airports do you ever stop at the newstands and pick up these crazy magazines just to see what they’re saying about you? I do cause they crack me up. Now I’m off to look for the best copy of Whores Hors Magazine with you on the cover!

A fellow HOR,

See any good Rob/Twi magazine covers lately? Do you think these are just happy coincidences or do you think magazine publishers “get it?” Spill it, do you ladies write for Hor Series??

Meet some other sluts at The Forum
Laugh it up with some Monday Funnies at LTT

Source: Robsessed and email

*sluts is a term of endearmeant from me! But if you’d like to hate on me by all means TammyO, go for it!*


  1. ROFL! Tis funny.
    And sluts is a term if endearment from me too. Bestie and I say it all the time.

    • hey slut!

    • Skank is my term of endearment.

  2. I can see him on Hors and Hobo magazine covers, but I about spit my coffee out when I saw our poor Rob’s face plastered next to the words, “10 Greatest Movie Nerds”

    I’m having a Kanye moment:

    “Imma let you finish, Rob. But Justin Chon was the best movie nerd of all time!”

    • Yup. To continue:

      “Rob & Kristen, I know you guys are making some epic social commentary with the plaidness, the unkempt hair, the matching looks of disgust/disillusionment, and Imma let you finish, but Gary Busey is the best RL hobo of ALL TIME!

      • GARY BUSEY!!!

      • Yes! Gary Busey for the win!! No one does crazy hobo like Gary Busey.

  3. okay, since I am almost compelled to purchase every magazine with HHH on the cover. I think they do GET it.

    And I say almost because I cannot, for the life of me, purchase “OK” magazine or any of the tweeny ones. Yet I will “read the article” in the store.

    Rob Pattinson single handedly could save the magazine industry.
    Have him in every advertisement and article.
    cooking tips, home repairs (like this old house) relationship articles (can this marriage be saved? Yes, read FF!!)
    Advice articles (maybe “Ask TammyO” would be better?)
    The options are endless. justsayin’

    • Haha the immediate image of Rob in a cooking magazine is him holding a whisk with a completely baffled expression! It gets tangled in his hair..poor Rob.

      • How about a guest spot on Martha Stewart with him microwaving Hotpockets and carrots?

      • “No, not the hair. Never the hair.”


    • I could totally see Rob doing something with home repairs. All decked out in his plaidness and talking about 5 simple steps to laying your own hardwood flooring.

      • Rob laying hardwood! That’s what she said!

        Sorry, feeling a bit pervy this morning.

        • Totes intended it that way. Embracing the inner perv.

          • Hmmm, Rob laying a hardwood floor dressed in plaid… My drool production has just reached a new all time high.

    • “ask tammyo” all it would be is swear words!

  4. I usually skip past the mags in public, ’cause I’m undercover, but if I see the title of “Interview with a/the Vampire” one more time, I’m going to kick somebody in the teeth. Can we not be more original?

    • “A Brief and Unsatisfying Question and Mumbly Answer Session With an Actor Playing Fictional Abstaining Blood-Drinker of the Night That In No Way Uses the Title of Another Popular But Similar Book/Movie To Draw In a Similar Audience.”

      Hmm maybe if it rhymed?

      • Yes, and then Steph could do a ton of follow up books:

        The Vampire Edward
        They Vampire Carlisle
        Emmett – a Midnight Twilight Vampire Passionate Romance
        Bella – Love at First Bite
        The Vampire Divorcee
        The Vampire Divorcee takes her magical daughter and goes to Dartmouth after all………

        • Oh and of course, the latest one woudl be “Let The Right One In Plaid”

    • Thank you! I was thinking the same thing. At least try to spice it up a bit. Since he’s British they could change it to “A Bloody Interview with a Vampire”.

      • Love the A Bloody Interview w. a Vampire.

  5. “Choose the right outfit every time!” – Rob and Kristen wrote this article together and the only words under the title are: “Wear Plaid!” Simple, no?

    I wore plaid flats yesterday and felt that much closer to HHH.

    PS “- don’t eat the last Hot Pocket (which is hard since there’s only 2 in a box)”
    There are boxes of Hot Pockets with 12 in them. Mega packs, if you will. I know this because Mr. Fang has been known to eat the occasional hot pocket for lunch. I may or may not buy this mega pack for him and think of Rob. Shhhh….

    • “There are boxes of Hot Pockets with 12 in them”

      I think you just found the key to Rob’s heart.

      • Think of the fort you could build with the boxes that size….

      • I wonder is Rob has ever watched this?

        Jim Gaffigan has a truly genius grasp on HHH’s fav food.

        • *sings* Flush pocket!

    • Plaid flats? Cute! I bet they have plaid Converse too for sale somewhere.

      • There sure are! And since plaid is back this season you can find them everywhere.

        I may or may not be wearing a plaid shirt right this moment, and may or may not feel that much closer to HHH because of it.

        • I went out the other night with my non-Robsessed friends and I kept making mental notes of all of the girls dressed in plaid. It was pretty much every other girl. I thought to myself “I KNOW your dirty little secret!” When I finally mentioned the striking frequncy of the “plaidemic”, my friends were like “And?” I bowed my head and kept my Robsession internal.

          • Hey Krystal, I KNOW, that I have infected some of my ladyfriends with my Robaddiction, but They DON’T admit….sometimes it’s so funny, I can see it in their faces…hahaha

        • I have a few plaid items bought by my husband. He loves plaid, he thinks it’s sexy.

  6. I don’t know about magazine covers…but I just really want someone media savvy gal to make a You Tube video of him…set to Janet Jackson’s “You Want This.”


    Hey JENA–get on it!!!!! 🙂

    • I’d like to see him in a dance rendition of Janet’s “If”…you know he’s good on his knees.

      • @ Leigh Anne, now you’ve got my brain juices flowing!

    • i want it…

      yea know just sayin’

  7. The magazines are doing something right. I mean, I’m giving my babysitter extra cash some weekends to go buy them for me. I figure a 27 yr. Old squeeing and purchasing at Border’s is way more ridiculous than a 13 yr. old. I am so far into the closet it’s insane.

    • Why didn’t I think of THAT?! You are genius sparklecakes! I just privately yearn to have the courage to walk over in the stores and pick up the magazines for a look-see. Instead, I keep walking but constantly divert my eyes in the direction of THE EYES. I probably look like way more of a weirdo with my methods than if I just got over myself and picked up the magazine. My way, I end up walking back and forth aimlessly trying to grope Him with my eyes.

      Oh Rob! You have left this 27 year old with no dignity. Bless you!

  8. The first cover with ‘tentation’ on it reminded me of all the ‘pitching of tents’ in FF!

    • Whahaha. Especially considering the location of that line. Subtle much?

      • The placement is correct! I bet that was on purpose by the copy editor (who is a fan, of course!).

    • pitching a tent hmmmmmm yea lemme add that to the post! i missed that one!

  9. Yesterday, US Weekly came and Rob was on the cover. It said: Our Love Affair with Vampires. It had the same picture like the one on the Star Amen magazine you posted! 🙂

  10. I like the Candy mag! It said it has New Moon stickers, ooh I want some Edward stickers! 🙂

  11. Aaaaaaaaaamen!

    And yes, proud to be a Robho.

    • RobHo, sign me up, too!

    • you already are a ho pros! 😉 rob will gladly accept you into his harem!

    • Um . . . I’m feeling ya on the “Do Rob” train (aside: I believe I just managed three squicky innuendos in one sentence), but let me make one caveat:

      A ho gets paid. I would gladly offer my services pro boner, I mean bono. Technically, I would probably pay for it myself, were I single and hugging a baguette. But that’s not legal, even in Georgia. Except for maybe that cat house place in Nevada, and I can’t picture anyone but Kellan in Vegas unless there’s an all-you-can eat Hot Pocket buffet.

  12. I definitely attempted to accuse my dad of hiding part of the Sunday paper yesterday. I was half asleep and couldn’t find the USA Weekend. He was about to get an ear full before I found it. Since I was giving him the stink eye while searching, I had to explain why. Then he laughed at me and said he should have done that. Dad’s a nice man, yes?

    • Im in New England for the weekend and I checked the NY Times, Boston Globe and three other papers for the USA Today insert -yesterday.


      Maybe I will find the treasure in the airport this afternoon on my travels?

      • So normal. And please eat a Boston Cream donut for me. And the biggest French Vanilla coffee with extra cream and sugar…if that’s your taste. I’m trying to live vicariously here…

  13. I must go to the lamest stores on the planet. My checkout lines tend to have the O magazine and Southern Living. And IF there is a tabloid sort of magazine it’s People.

    I need better shopping options.

    • no US? no life and style? no nation ENQUIRER!!! what are you doing with your alien and 2 headed baby news??!

  14. Confession: I’ve never purchased a magazine with Rob on it. Ever. *gasp* More evidence that I’m a bad fangirl. What am I even doing here? I might need to be kicked out of this club…

    • Me neither! I don’t see the point, really. I just stare at my desktop and all the worthy gossip (that’s to say the OPPOSITE of bullshite), I get from you lovely ladies.

      I say, down with Rob magazines! Sure, he’ll save the publishing industry, but he’s killing TREES!

      • I should say that while I may not buy them, that doesn’t stop me from staring longingly at them while in the checkout lane. But I do that to the candy bars, too.

    • I haven’t either. Although, I do keep all the Twilight themed Entertainment Weekly’s that come with my subscription. Those are the only ones I keep.

    • Neither do I! I have Moon & UC and all you hot pieces to direct me to the weekly greatest hits online!

      Plus, I’m not a collector. Entirely too OCD for such packratting. Not to mention that I don’t need the reminder of my fangirliness when I’m eighty and eating my Hot Pockets through a straw.

    • NEVER?!! not even respectable stuff like vanity fair or gq?!

      • Nope, nothing. To be fair, the GQ and VF shoots were done before I was into Twi/Rob… so back when I still had my sanity/life in order. I maaayyyy have cracked for GQ.

        • HB, I haven’t bought one either, that GQ came directly to my house. However I do scour them at the store with my daughter, using her as an excuse because I don’t buy her magazines either, and she needs to catch up on her Miranda Cosgrove/Selena Gomez news.

        • Exactly! I wasn’t into this whole crazy thing back then either! Which is why I long for some respectable photo shoots to buy instead of these nasty teen magazines that are a dime a dozen….bring it on, Vanity fair!

          I’m thinking of my old age, see, when I won’t have a computer anymore, and will be forced to sneak out my old, old copies of Vanity fair from under my elevated bed, to hold them close under my nose and in my cracked voice sigh over HHH and the good old days…

      • I do not own the Rob GQ. Do you think it is possible to order a back issue? This is something I feel I NEED to own. The way a fat kid needs cake.

  15. Oh…I have a good one. Kiss Magazine of Ireland had the Vanity Fair shoot photo on the cover…then in the sideline it said that it’s articles were “What to do with the hair down there” and “Why irish girls shoplift”…I thought I would steal myself a copy, and read why they thought I did it…LOL


    And where can I get a subscription to hors magazine? That sounds like good times, there.

    Oh, to answer the actual question, oh they get it, yes, they do. They MUST, right?

    • i try to remember that most mag editors are probably a but older but who knows… i would think so!!

      • It may be true…. but I am, ahem, a ‘bit’ older, and I would know, but I am a ‘special’ case, lol. Hors, takes one to know one?

  17. Love the one with the man whore and the two sluts.

    What about the other Twi-hors? why aren’t they on the cover too?

    Totally off topic but I just got back from dropping my daughter at school, I go upstairs with tea in hand, open the bedroom door..and almost pee myself.I see a man’s silhouette-after a moment of panic I realize it’s cardboard Edward. Surprise!
    I called my husband to let him know I almost wet my pants. He found this hilarious.

    • Your. Husband. Is. Awesome. I hope he gets “special treats” from you tonight.

    • Your DH is so sweet!!!! Awww, he scored some major points, tell him that!!!

  18. I love hors! Esp the Yeasty Bitches kind.

    • the ONLY kind!!

  19. My fave cover of the ones posted here is AMEN. I mean, the picture choice is dynamite and even the articles seem interesting. And, isn’t Robism a new religion…?? You know, you hardly shower, wear plaid and converse and have shitious fashion sense, all for the love of one man? I thought many of us were fervent worshippers.


  20. No.. There is not a mag called AMEN. Brilliant. I bet bobbygee reads it.

    Duh, I call all my fav people sluts


    • slut

  21. Look at where the little cresent moon is placed on the “Hors Serie” one!!!
    Just draws your eye right to Rob’s crotch.

  22. Thanks Moon! You and Rob make my Mondays!

    • rob says you’re welcome!!

  23. So the Irish Daily Star has a special edition entitled AMEN just for Sundays? That’s the only explanation. I’m sure on Wednesdays its the Irish Daily Star HUMP and on Fridays it’s the Irish Daily Star CRUNK and on Mondays it’s the Irish Daily Star COFFEE. I’d like to see that Wednesday edition with Rob on the cover, kthx.

    • amazing! ireland sounds like my kind of place

  24. Tentation.Rob!Candy.Rob!!Free.Rob!!!Amen.Rob!!!!

  25. Um… I don’t get the hors séries one. Rob-ref fail (on my part). Someone fill me in please? To me hors séries just means “special issue”…

    I kinda want that russian poster. The russian would make it justifiably cool enough for my intellectual-snob friends. And the hidden hobo makes me giggle.

    • hors – whores???

      sounds the same diff spelling

      • Ooooh, now I get it! I read it as ‘horse’. It made me think of Horses & Hounds, which made me think of Hugh Grant, which made me realize that that was probably a little too far fetched to be funny.

  26. I just think it’s hilarious to see “hobo” across Edward, Jacob and Bella. LOL!

  27. I love that all the new Rob covers are part of the “New Moon” marketing scheme and none of them have Taycob on the cover. Seriously, Edward is supposed to be in 1/4 of the movie, tops. They know what sells: RobHors.

    • You are so right, I have notices this too…. Taylor is a child, Rob is a MAN, he even looks older than 23! I have to say that 100 times a day…just because I AM OLDER!

      …and Taylor is good for DISNEY, Rob is good for me!

  28. “Hors Serie” made me think of “Horse and Hound.” True story.

  29. I haven’t posted in like forever, for personal reasons, but I read your blog/comments as often as I can. You’re so wickedly funny, love it! Thanks for keeping me sane.

    Off topic, but important, because the guys are amazing, funny, lovely:
    English alternative pop band Athlete is playing a live gig in New York on Nov 3, 2009, 7:00 p.m., Bowery Ballroom.
    Please show them some LTR-unique love!

    You can check out their music at:

    Their hit single Wires recounts a fraught dash by front man Joel Pott when he discovered his newborn daughter, Myla, had been rushed into intensive care. Live version:

    New single – superhuman touch:

    Hope everyone is doing fine, despite the Rob drought. We’ll sit it out!

  30. “You? A nerd? Most definitely! But Edward, a nerd? Never!” What? Of course Edward was a nerd… he had his nights free, remember? 😉

    Incidentally, I just learned that I can still read Russian. LTR is educational!

  31. We used to describe the Prince and Princess of Wales as “Lady Diana and some bloke she married”.

    Kinda feels the same with Rob now – “Robert Pattinson’s Twilight Saga New Moon and some kids who act the other parts”.

    • Love love love it!!!

      Rob and the other-mostly-still-unknown-people!

  32. I just want to say that I love how the second tag on this is “Amen” and the last is “whore.”


  33. I can aford mags…i usually take home the ones that are outdated and have no covers from work….

    “slutty hobos donate free plaid…aaaaaammmeeeennn”

  34. On the top of the “Hors serie” magazine one thing it advertises, aside from “scoops” and “interviews” are “special files.” I wonder what kind of special files they have on the whores?

  35. LMAFO!!!!!!!!! “don’t eat the last Hot Pocket (which is hard since there’s only 2 in a box)”

  36. You are so freaken hilarious!!!! I’m laughing so hard I’m crying.

  37. LMAO, you Ladies rule as always! Your interpretation of HOBOs in Russian and Bulgarian is so funny, I’d never try to read it that way 🙂 but actually, that’s how we write “novo” which means new :-))

  38. […] Subliminal Advertising? Or do Rob’s fans/magazine publishers “get it?” Dear Rob, As I was traipsing (yes, I frolic through the interwebs) around my favorite sites and through my emails I […] […]

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