Posted by: themoonisdown | October 22, 2009

Letters to Rob University, Now accepting applications!

The real Robert Pattinson School

The real Robert Pattinson School

Dear Rob,

I’ve been thinking a lot about going back to school lately and really going deep and studying something I’m interested in, I naturally excel at AND see a future in… but alas they don’t have a degree in YOU: Robert Pattinson. This week however, I happened to be cruising “the sites” and happened across this interesting post on Twicrack about Robert Pattinson School in England. Yea, for serious there is a school with YOUR name. Unfortunately it seems to be a grade school for younger kids and so my application for acceptance was rejected along with a note that said “That’s not legal ANYWHERE, let alone Georgia!” Don’t they know I just want to spend more time studying YOU? There’s so much in almost eleven months that we still don’t know! And what about those of us who are new to the fold? How will they ever learn? So in the spirit of Robert Pattinson School, I’ve put together my own curriculum and course descriptions for the all new Letters to Rob University where you can work on your BS (heavy on the BS) in Robert Thomas Pattinson!

Reading, Writing and Rob

Reading, Writing and Rob

Rob 101 – Intro to Robert Thomas Pattinson (3hrs)
A gateway course for students in the Division of Robert Pattinson Studies, those interested in exploring the history, life, interests, gossip, future projects and practical application of such knowledge regarding the universities namesake. This course will introduce students to both the methods and practices of these disciplines, locating ways in which to share your acute fondness and new found knowledge in practical and “normal” ways.

Rob 102 Survey of Pattinson’s Works (3 hours)
A study of the major film works, musical recordings and interviews (recorded and written) from Mr. Pattinson’s career which spawned an intense and rabid following. Readings will include works from Vanity Fair, GQ, Seventeen, Tiger Beat and Bop. Musical performances will include selections from the Twilight soundtrack, bootleg recordings, and influential material (Van Morrison, John Lee Hooker and DeAngelo). Character studies of Edward Cullen, Daniel Gale and Cedric Diggory, Interviews to include selections from the Twilight Press junket and the Ellen Degeneres Show. Films will include Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Bad Mother’s Handbook and Rings of Nibelungs. Prerequisites: unlimited harddrive space, access to Netflix and Youtube.

Rob 103 Photoshoot Appreciation (2hrs)
Lectures to stimulate visual, emotional and intellectual awareness of Robert Pattinson’s humanity and beauty through the printed image. Covers historically significant photoshoots from Miu Miu to GQ. With special emphasis on and guest lectures by Photographer Peggy Spirota from the famed Vanity Fair Fall 2008 photoshoot. Prerequisite: ability to control or dispose of drool.

Follow the cut to read Intermediate, Advanced and Elective Course descriptions and ENROLL!

See, it's that easy!

See, it's that easy!

Intermediate Courses

Rob 201 – Utilization of Snark and Sarcasm (lifelong enrollment)
A course designed to emphasize comment and writing improvement, usage of, and the techniques related to effective snark and sarcasm development. Recommended for students who wish to improve basic humor skills. Lab required. Graded Pass/Fail.
Cases and examples to be discussed: TammyO, Robsten/Nonsten, Twimoms
Required Reading: How to Tell
Prerequisites: Sense of humor, ability to laugh at oneself

Rob 202 – Strategies in Stalking (1hrs)
Teachings to cover stalking in both the online and real world applications. Online methods to include lectures on Google search methods, Google Alerts and Twitter Account Maintenance. Real World methods to include befriending paparazzi, set stalkers, receptionists, lonely security guards and Pattinson family members 5 times removed.
Requirements: mobile phone with Internet and Twitter capabilities, bail money.

Advanced Courses

Sample project

Sample project

Rob 303 Digital Imaging Shenanigans and Fanmade Video Production (3hrs)
Focus on desktop/Iphone wallpaper creation, digital manipulation and photoshop shenanigans of photographic images. 2nd half of class will focus on digital video editing to achieve the maximum level of desired emotion (happiness, saddness, hottness). Use of computers, Adobe Photoshop and video editing software will be explored and used. Projects focus on Robsten Manipulations, site tag removal, and various shenanigans using Jorts, Nascar Shirts, Tom Sturridge photos and mullets. Video editing projects focus on Rob’s photoshoots, RobStu, Robsten and the inclusion of songs other than Evanescence and Kings of Leon.
Review of legal issues related to digital imagery, stealing clips, copyrighted material, cease and desist documents and Youtube.
Guest lectures from: PetitBiel
Prerequisites: Rob 102 Survey of Pattinson’s Works and Rob 103 Photoshoot Appreciation

Rob 304 – Roblosophy (3hrs)
The philosophy of Robert Pattinson. Survey and study of the meaning of Rob, the relation of the hottness and beauty of Rob, the nature and validity of the fan experience, the arguments for the existence of this kind of obsession and fandom, the nature of good and evil within the Rob fandom. A class to tackle the questions students cannot seem to answer or understand. Attention given to the usage of “That’s Normal.”


Homework includes essays on manbangs and sharing clothes

Homework includes essays on manbangs and sharing clothes

BP 101 – Introduction to the Brit Pack (1hrs)
The course is designed to allow students to gain knowledge of the roots of these popular musicians, their connections to Robert Pattinson and an appreciation for their musical recordings, manbangs and famewhoring. The course seeks to chronicle the beginnings, evolution and styles of Sam Bradley, Bobby Long and Marcus Foster through discussion, listening and Google stalking. It allows students to become acquainted with the important personalities, fans and musicians themselves. Recordings covered include: Soho Whores, that one song that is supposedly the same as Never Think, Tumble Down and Anything that comes out of Bobby Long’s mouth. Special topics to include: mumbling, Land of Dreamers and pyramid schemes.
Guest Lecturers: Ascot Phil and that Merch Girl
Prerequisites: Interest in Rob, copies of Britpack recordings

FF 101 – Survey of FanFiction (hrs innumerable)
An overview of significant authors, works of literature, and literary forms and trends from the FanFiction world. Attention given to the historical background of each work including plagarism, drama and hiatuses. Students will study the creation and employment of major FanFictional archetypes including: Darkward, Domward, Blissward and Beautiful Bastard. Also covered will be the styles of the major FanFiction writers. Works to include: Wide Awake, The Office, A Life Extraordinary and The Dom/sub
Guest lecturers: AngstGoddess, TBY789, LolaShoes, Tara Sue Me and round table (Skype) discussions led by fellow students
May be repeated with different subject matter

All courses and electives culminate into the final:

Practicum SUCCESS!

Practicum SUCCESS!

Rob 401 – Practicum (1hrs)
Students will venture into the world taking a trip to either film locations, Forks, Washington or the concert of a Britpack member to put into use their new found breadth of knowledge in all things Robert Pattinson. Students will meet up with other students from around the world to discuss course topics, personal experiences studying Robert Pattinson and of course their mutual love for the subject matter. Practicum will end with a project culminating the student’s experience in the area of Robert Pattinson. To be formulated on a personal blog, Facebook or email using images, video and personal stories. The project will demonstrate a synthesis of skills and knowledge developed through the core coursework in Robert Pattinson.

Applications to be reviewed by Deans UC and Moon and acceptance based on past experience, level of interest and ability to excel!

We’re excited to begin enrollment for the Spring semester of 2010 and expect full classes! So see Rob, maybe there SHOULD be a school devoted to studying you. I think a know a couple of folks who might be interested!

Co-Dean of Studies,
Professor Moon

So who’s ready to enroll? What classes do you think there should be at LTR University? Who should teach or guest lecture what class?

Meet other students at The Forum
Prof. UC makes us laugh at LTT


  1. I’m applying!

    Is there an elective on Rob’s musical works, with special attention to mumbling?

  2. Genius! Again!

    I propose other courses. Robfashion: clothing choice and shopping locations. Don’t forget the valuble things to be learned in studying his favorite foods and cuisine- this could be a lab with foodstuff preperation! How about an Immersion course that covers everything? Hmmm, immersion in Robworld….

    • Ah yes, Immersion is the fastest way to learn! I want to be fluent in the Mumbles in 6 weeks!

  3. I think you need to include “Fan Mail 101”

    Judging from the letters you’ve recieved, you have many potential professors.

    Topics include:

    – How to blur the line between fantasy and reality
    – Why punctuation is optional
    – Why only having a 3rd grade education is not an obstacle for writing Rob a letter
    – Tips on letting your inner crazy bitch out

    • love it

    • Beautiful.

  4. Dear Moon,
    My check is in the mail for my deposit.

    Obviously, people such as myself would need graduate work. (Ding)

    you forgot a course in learning to accept the stew (ding)

    Perhaps I can teach a course in fanfic appreciation, how to stay up all night reading.

    Love it!!!

    • I’ll be your first student. Habitual sleep fails = A+!

    • Up till three this morning baby!

    • I read til 9 am this morning! *hangs head in shame*

  5. I’d like to apply for the position of Professor of Survey of Fan Fiction. I currently have 104 stories favorited on Twilighted and am working my way through FanFiction. I am considering writing my own fan fiction.

    I look forward to hearing from you.
    *Let me know well in advance of classes starting-I’ll have to prepare in between fics.Thanks.

  6. Will there be a graduate program? A doctorate? My thesis will be “Hot Pockets and Heineken: Fueling the Love Machine”.

    • haha You read my mind and said it a million times better!

    • That. Is. Brilliant! I was thinking about writing mine on “Why Flannel Is (suddenly) Sexy”

    • Mine would be “Hygiene: Pros & Cons”

      • i tried to thumbs up you more than once for your course, but wordpress is on to me

    • I’m starting my thesis today.

      “Less-than-Intimate Concert Venues, Heavily Safeguarded Hotels, and Dumpsters: Comparative Analysis of Public Displays of Affection/Intercourse”

      Who am I kidding? I’m not starting right now. Leader of Procrastination Nation.

      Plus, if I wait ’til the last minute, maybe Rob will help me cram. We could pull an all-nighter.

      • Yeah, I’d like for Rob to cram it with me all night, too

  7. Hahaha Brilliant! Freaking out about JortsRob all over again.
    I’d love a workshop as well though, preferable hosted by Robert himself. Did TomStu already apply? Can we be roommates?

  8. As much as I’d love to attend I’m afraid I’d fail… I wouldn’t be able to form coherent thoughts when looking and studying Rob so in depth.

    • Dear, you HAVE to concentrate, it’s all for him….hahaha

    • That’s what Adderall is for.

    • I dunno. I think you’d excel since you’ve probably already got a good foundation of Rob knowledge. All this stuff would just, y’know, help land you a job as his personal shopper or, y’know, stalker. 😉

  9. Is there a Dumpster Diving course? Just so we know which ones are the best ones to pick, what to wear during said time, moves that work best against said dumpster etc.


    • mandatory physical education credit.

    • or, since yesterday, some forts course…hiding, drinking, sleeping,eating, making sexy things….????

    • we’re considering it for 2011

  10. Haha you could offer Recyclewear with Rob in addition to the new chemistry class, where students will learn all the various smells that go into “Parfum De Rob”.. you’ll be able to smell a hot pocket from a mile away

  11. I’m ready to sign up! But only if I can do nonsten manips in Digital Shenanigans since the Robsten ones are just much too creepy. And if I can skip the fanfic course due to, err, religious reasons.

  12. Great idea, I would like to study Rob-Biology and I’m sure I will make my doctorate …

    Thinking about Rob-maths, but no…bad idea…only good for 5jears old (4+3=4, think,5,think,6,think ehhh yeah!!! 7 !)

    I’m interested also in hairthings, but…..I remain to BIOLOGY!!!

    • SEVEN!!!!!

  13. hmmmm…i was going to get offended that you keep making fun of Georgia in your LTR…but then I remembered that it all works for me. Less jail time.

    I would also like a class called “how not to freak out when you see a celebrity in line for the bathroom and make them run away”.

    • who did you make run away? Rob??

  14. I just very nearly peed myself with the jorts/robmullet picture! Effing hysterical!

  15. Yeah! Sign me up! That school sounds way more fun and useful than my current degree-nursing. Would i be able to get a job after, though?

  16. I forgot…a superspecial Rob course of learning to do NOTHING SPECIAL in free time….think about it , it’ HIS special talent, we all have to subscribe….lol

  17. […] Letters to Rob University, Now accepting applications! « Letters to Rob – view page – cached I’ve been thinking a lot about going back to school lately and really going deep and studying something I’m interested in, I naturally excel at AND see a future in… but alas they don’t have a… (Read more)I’ve been thinking a lot about going back to school lately and really going deep and studying something I’m interested in, I naturally excel at AND see a future in… but alas they don’t have a degree in YOU: Robert Pattinson. (Read less) — From the page […]

  18. Yes! Yes! Yes! Sign me up. Any photo sessions will need to be located near to the medical centre – just to ensure medication is on hand for serious cases of catatonic staring at gorgeous Rob pics for long periods of time. OMG it would be sooooooo great to spend all day legitimately ogling and discussing MHD (my heart’s desire) (and by heart I mean nether regions).

    • ‘and by heart I mean nether regions’


  19. Take it from someone who is always dreaming of ways to quit her day job and pursue something I love – you should charge $2000 for this and do it virtually. You KNOW that the same people that write letters to you thinking that they will get to Rob will apply. How hard would it be for you to throw the teaching together? NOT AT ALL as you’ve already freakin’ outlined the course below. Bam! You’re a millionaire (and maybe have reached a new level in fan girl-i-ness, which may or may not be scary). Also? I may or may not apply (read: def would).

  20. I’m totally there. I’m a closet dork that loves school and this is right up my alley (that’s what she said). However, is it possible to test out of Snark and Sarcasm? I’ve already got a PhD in that shit.

  21. Dear Professor Moon,

    I am thrilled at your course curriculum and I plan to apply for the spring semester. I was curious if you give scholarships? I am eager and willing (that’s what she said)! I will have some courses that might transfer…..Dumpsters 101, Fortmaking 201, The History of the Hot Pocket 316, and Music Mumbling 110. I look forward to your response. Hehehe.



  22. Sounds so much more fun that being in grad school. I’ll need a course on studying every detail of Rob’s anatomy. He’ll need to give a guest lecture, preferably naked.

  23. …and suddenly I am no longer interested and/or excited about starting school again in spring.

    Moon! Did you read my blog yesterday!? Causeeee… school is cool! 😉

  24. I am assuming that not only is smoking allowable in class, but it is to be considered “cool” and verrry “sexy.”

    • Ooooooo Heine gal, lessons in the art of sticking ciggie in mouth and blowing – perfect class in my eyes 🙂


  25. Is there financial aid? 🙂

    • scholarships are handed out based on your skill level at creating RobPorn

  26. I do believe I have completed most of this course work prior to enrollment. Independent study, if you will. Do you give credit for work previously completed? Ah hell, forget it. I’ll just do it all again.

    I would definitely like a course in Rob biology as well as several art classes, drawing, painting, sculpture, photography, all with Rob as the model. In person. Nude, of course.

  27. Anyway so how do I apply? 🙂 To increase my chance of being accepted, I can bring you my portfolio filled with Robporn, Rob quotes, music lyrics, fanfiction and other random stuff! LOL

  28. I think that there needs to be a class focused on Anatomy. With labs studying various parts.

    – Jaw appreciation: Lickablity factor
    – Hand Porn: On Me
    – Lips: Yes, please
    – Eyebrows: How to Tame the Beasts
    – Sparklepeen (this will take at least half the semester)

    And we should be required to take this course EVERY semester.

    • Bwahahahahahahaha
      Yes please!

    • *drools*

      Okay… This would be most favouritest class.
      Especially since, I assume, Rob would be the prof and it’d be a very hands-on course.

  29. I’m dropping my masters in international marketing and communication and signing op for Rob-school!

    • This just shows that you appreciate perfection. No one could hold that against you.

  30. Dear Professor Moon:

    Since I am a foreign student, I wonder if the courses can be done virtually, at least the first materials.
    If so, how can I apply and what are the requirements to enter subjects that will definitely not be done virtually.

    if I have enough experience in areas such as FF
    -knowledge, high hours reading, twitter devotion-it helps me to be accepted?

    Is there a scholarship program? home for students?

    Expecting a favorable response for admission to this prestigious school.

    the crazy foreign robnerd student

  31. How about From Goodwill to Gorgeous:Robert Pattinson and the Rebirth of Plaid. A course in understanding the impact of Rob on fashion.

    • Hahahaha! Love it!

    • haha-thumbs down for making fun of Rob’s style.Oh well.

      • that’s so odd who could thumbs-down you? the president of the Goodwill organization?

      • Another thumbs up. You did use the words “gorgeous” and “plaid” in the same sentence.

  32. I love that the Survey of FanFiction course has innumerable hours. Truth. I think I’d go into shock if I ever found out just how much of my life I’ve spent on fanfic…

    • I’m pretty sure my husband could give me an estimate:

      Time saved by offering sandwiches for dinner: 1.5 hours three times a week.

      Time spent reading laptop in bed: approximately 2 hours daily for a four-week stretch

      Time squeezed into guilt-free weekends where the only requirement for “quality time” is proximity to one another: the length one college and one professional football game

  33. I think there should be a fine arts course…

    workshop one – making your own pattinson pants

    and then we go onto Rob shrines, bags and of course
    (thanks to Tiffanized) ass-less chaps for the bike rides…
    Can I be the wierd foreign exchange student???

    • yes. we always need that one weird foreign exchange student who lives in the dorm with the homeschool kids

      • hahahahha…..yay
        oooooh i hope get a makover from the cool kids halfway through the semester so that they can prove something…. take the glasses off…fluff the hair…vavavoom?

  34. FYI – I would not be opposed to sleeping with the professor just to get an A.

    • that would go over especially well in the “how Rob inspires fake lesbianism” seminar

  35. “Practicum” [I can’t believe it but] that’s what she said! Could I apply for an internship? And do you offer career placement for graduates? And does RPU qualify for FAFSA? Would I have to move east or is there an online syllabus?

  36. SIGN ME UP.

  37. The best part about the Robert Pattinson School website? Their proclamation that “Head’s Welcome”. I’m sure it is – I just had no idea that Rob would advertise for it so blatantly. Is there a sign-up sheet? I hope the line isn’t long, because that would just be gross.

    • They give out disinfectant wipes in line. Get there early to be first.

      • I’m sorry, but I had to thumbs down you for that

        • hey, hygiene is important.

    • OME, I noticed that too! 

  38. I vote that a dress code is also put in place. Mandatory plaid shirts, wrinkled jeans and hoodies. Fully submerse the students the native dress. Plus, I’m partial to the Doc bitchkickers and I can slut ANYTHING up. Just in case, um, we have ‘visitors’.

    And can we also have a “How to deal with Twicrazies and other fangirls.” course?

    -What to do when you see a tattoo of Robward, the Cullen Crest or anything like it
    -What can be bedazzled? What is acceptable and what is deemed ridonkulous.
    -How to approach Twitards. Back away slowly as not to spook them? Like a frightened wild animal? Or run for your life, consequences be damned!
    Maybe even a little role play dramaz with a special ‘guest speaker’. Just to ensure people are safe upon venturing out into the world.

    I’ll teach it…for free. It’s vital information I feel everyone should know.

  39. Dear Moonie:

    Could I please, please, please, have a job? I want to make it my career! Not just some 6 year degree.

    I would do lots of extra things, free of charge of course.
    I could head up Freshman Orientation.
    I could be in charge of Rob’s personal safety. I can be his “personal” body guard when he comes on campus for Anatomy and Art lessons.
    And I could also do extra projects to help with PR. I mean, we need to make sure we stay on the cutting edge of the educational system. It’s a jungle out there.

    AND, I could be the campus enforcer. You know, make sure everyone has the proper supplies. RPattz and or Twilight notebooks, trapper keepers, lap top decals, and of course, the dorm rooms must meet standards. Must be equipped with either Twi/Rob pillows, blankets, and or posters. Seniors can get by with purple bedding, tho, cuz purple’s cool.

    Let me know when to start!!


  40. I’ve already sent in my application. I can’t wait to start!

    Though, I think I could benefit from one more class. “The Art of Wooing Rob”. Guest lecturers include rumoured lover Kristen Stewart, and former ex-girlfriends. Oh, and “Rob and Obscure Reads”, which would be taught by TomStu. ❤ This would be my favourite class, I think.

    Is there a chance of taking graduate studies in Rob, too? I think I'd want my masters at least. 😉

  41. Sign me up!

    Ngl, some of these courses were quite interesting & useful (like the Internet tricks, photo editing, video making, etc).

    How about an elective on THE WOMEN:
    Royal Family (Queen Clare, Princesses Victoria & Lizzy, the Honorable Patty)
    Kristen Stewart
    Cougar Alert (Stephenie, Stephanie, CathyH, Melissa)
    Exes (Nina, etc)
    Buds (Shannon, Miquita)
    Rumor Mill (Nikki, Megan, Camilla, Katie)
    Etc (Ashley, Emma, Rachelle, etc)

    Awesome post!

  42. Sign me in ! no no no LET me sign ..LOL

  43. This was a brilliant post and inspired some award winning comments. I am so impressed by the responses!

    I think I am going straight to applying for a teaching job – I’ve already completed almost all of the classes. Here’s a very incomplete list of my qualifications:
    (1) I’ve immersed myself in the rob fandom to the point that even I think I’m nuts
    (2) Been to a Bobby Long concert & purchased one of his songs on itunes (and have a pic of me with him on my iphone)
    (3) Joined myspace just so I could listened to Sam Bradley’s music
    (4) Signed up for Twitter just to get fakerpattz updates – then wound up getting sucked into that massive time waster in general
    (5) Stalked the Remember Me set & submitted photos here
    (6) Read Wide Awake, The Office, The List, Sub/Dom, Emancip Pro, etc.
    (7) Pay-per-viewed How to Be (which I did not like but watched twice anyway)
    (8) Purchased a cardboard Edward & took obscene pictures with him

    I would like to be a professor of Robsession Defense: a class on successfully concealing your Robsession from others and when caught, justifying your ridiculous behavior to your friends, family, husband, and/or children

    • Just yesterday, I made a comment about Rob asking if we wanted to learn things about him, like that he has sex with guests in his Hot Pockets fort. It is like I could see the future….

      I would love to take a class on Robsession Defense. I think I do a pretty good job, but could use help with the hubby…

      I hope to test out of Rob 101.

      As for Rob 102, I think that I could definitely contribute to the workload with my new copy of The Haunted Airman. Could I get extra credit for having a copy of Vanity Fair?

      How many times can you take Rob 103?

      I think I should just to straight to the Intermediate courses.

      Do you need more teacher’s assistants for FanFiction 101?

  44. Done! I was thinking where to go after getting my undergraduate in Economics next May…and now I have the answer…Thank you for enlightening my future!!!

  45. Dear Dean Moonie Pie,

    I am sending in my app along with this personal thank you note. I thoroughly enjoyed your list of courses and can’t wait to see what new courses will be offered in the spring. I am forever hoping that the University grows ever larger in size and scope (that’s what she said). Perhaps one day a law school could be established that could teach courses in Twitter Bashing, Public Forums vs. Private Forums, Copyrighting, and Intellectual Property.

    Looking forward to attending in the New Year.

    Jane Trigs

  46. Wow, Moon, this reads exactly like a course catalog at a liberal arts college…except for the random insertions of Robert Pattinson, Fan fiction, Photoshop…

    Did you go to liberal arts college???

    PS. I wish the Robert Pattinson School had sweatshirts or tee shirts or something. That would be priceless.

  47. Will Rob come in some of the classes so we can watch his every move? Will he be able to answer questions? 🙂

    If Rob was there I would just daydream and not learn anything. But I’d still want him to be there. Maybe he could give us a pep talk!

    • He’ll be coming in to do a microwave cooking demo. Bring your own Hot Pockets and carrots.

  48. you can purchase your uniform here:

    • Haha, that’s great! I want that on everything I own!

  49. Will there be a Greek system? I could imagine some pretty good theme parties. Redneck ball, cougars and boys, moon and heine…

    • It’s Wanna Tappa Vampa, right?

      • That’s right…major fail, forgot all about that. I’m a terrible fangirl, but I’ll still wear those letters proudly.

  50. Love this! Sign me up for the first semester!!

    (I am lovin’ that you made it sound so legit. Please do a future letter on all the “real” applications you get from “real” fans. Those would be fun!)

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