Another Sunday, another fan submission of “How I fell for Rob”
Why Rob owes me some drinks.
Dear Rob –
I want start this letter off by fully admitting I had no clue in the world who you were until I saw Twilight. I do not have some cool story about how I saw you in The Bad Mothers Handbook or Little Ashes before you became super famous. I had not seen the wizard movies (of course) and I am pretty sure that if I had seen pictures of you in magazines by chance I clearly don’t remember them. I stumbled upon the Twilight movie when my big brother was visiting me and he was being a douche-bag, so I ditched him and went to order a pay per view. I had seen the trailers for Twilight last fall, but it did not interest me much to tell you the truth. But on that day it was better that then the Benjamin Button movie or anything else I saw on the list so I ordered it. And I loved it. I really really loved it. So much so that I needed to watch it again just after I finished it. At the time, my brother was yelling at me that he wanted to go out to the bars, but I lied and told him I was too tired. So then he borrowed $20 and left me alone with you. This is reason #1 why you owe me some beers. I missed a Saturday night out with friends so I could watch Twilight..in secret..alone. Something was horribly wrong.
Little did I know that this was just the beginning of my long spiral down the fandom tornado that is Robward. The next morning, I ditched my friends and brother on a river trip and went to buy New Moon at the book store. The next 3 weeks were pretty much a blur and again, I did not have anytime to drink or party because I had my nose in those damn books! Reason # 2 why you owe me some beers. I did not sign up to lose 3 weeks of my life when I saw Twilight. This craziness is all your fault. Anyhoo, I stayed up all night long that week until I closed Breaking Dawn. First I cried because the books were over, but then I realized something. You were still there lingering..and I loved it. I could not get you out of my head…kind of like the Kylie Minogue song but a thousand times better. It was not just Edward at all, it was you..and Kristen a bit too but mostly you. I wanted to see every movie you were in and hear every song you could sing. CRAZYNESS. NOT MY M.O I almost resigned myself to therapy until I found that you have the funniest fans in the world. I can’t really back this statement up with any first hand knowledge because I have never been a fan of anyone before. I like moves but never loved them. I love music like I love breathing but have never followed any band in particular and m taste is all over the place. Then you showed up and now not only do I have a secret to keep because my close friends would all think I am effing mad and laugh me out of the pub. Reason #3 why you own me beers. Get a couple pilsners in me and I am gushing about how awesome I think you are. And then everyone leaves. And then I am by myself at the bar with no boys to buy me drinks. Thanks Rob. Thanks a lot.
Now, all I want is to see snippets of your fine self all over the place. I now skip breakfast entirely to spend sometime in the mornings catching up on all things Rob. To say the least, I am considering therapy. Mostly because my circle of friends will laugh at me if they knew how I felt and a therapist is getting paid not to laugh at people like me. Possible reason #4, if I have to spend money on therapy so I can talk about you, you owe me beers. Since I have found others online that feel similar, I am testing out the online crack before I admit myself to rehab. The 5th and final reason why you owe me beers it that your little Britt pack has got me hooked too. In fact, your amigo Bobby Long is getting close to inching you out of my sexiest voices faces ever. Thank god he is not in movies and does not have a fandom or else he would be getting this letter and he then would owe me beers.
Now, to summarize myself, I have gone out to buy the movies, the books, the album and your buddies albums. Again, all your fault. Your employers should all give you a giant raise for getting me hooked on you, on Twilight. They have made a lot of money off of me – and you should make them use that money to buy all your devoted fans some beers…cause we have been put through the ringer and we deserve a drink.
Love it- Rob you’re like a Kylie Minogue song, but BETTER!
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