Posted by: Bekah | October 18, 2009

How I fell for Robert Pattinson: You owe me a beer

Another Sunday, another fan submission of “How I fell for Rob”

Why Rob owes me some drinks.

You didn't know who I was?

You didn't know me? I was an extraordinary young lad!

Dear Rob –

I want start this letter off by fully admitting I had no clue in the world who you were until I saw Twilight. I do not have some cool story about how I saw you in The Bad Mothers Handbook or Little Ashes before you became super famous. I had not seen the wizard movies (of course) and I am pretty sure that if I had seen pictures of you in magazines by chance I clearly don’t remember them. I stumbled upon the Twilight movie when my big brother was visiting me and he was being a douche-bag, so I ditched him and went to order a pay per view. I had seen the trailers for Twilight last fall, but it did not interest me much to tell you the truth. But on that day it was better that then the Benjamin Button movie or anything else I saw on the list so I ordered it. And I loved it. I really really loved it. So much so that I needed to watch it again just after I finished it. At the time, my brother was yelling at me that he wanted to go out to the bars, but I lied and told him I was too tired. So then he borrowed $20 and left me alone with you. This is reason #1 why you owe me some beers. I missed a Saturday night out with friends so I could watch secret..alone. Something was horribly wrong.

"Can't get this song or Rob out of my head"

"Can't get this song or Rob out of my head"

Little did I know that this was just the beginning of my long spiral down the fandom tornado that is Robward. The next morning, I ditched my friends and brother on a river trip and went to buy New Moon at the book store. The next 3 weeks were pretty much a blur and again, I did not have anytime to drink or party because I had my nose in those damn books! Reason # 2 why you owe me some beers. I did not sign up to lose 3 weeks of my life when I saw Twilight. This craziness is all your fault. Anyhoo, I stayed up all night long that week until I closed Breaking Dawn. First I cried because the books were over, but then I realized something. You were still there lingering..and I loved it. I could not get you out of my head…kind of like the Kylie Minogue song but a thousand times better. It was not just Edward at all, it was you..and Kristen a bit too but mostly you. I wanted to see every movie you were in and hear every song you could sing. CRAZYNESS. NOT MY M.O I almost resigned myself to therapy until I found that you have the funniest fans in the world. I can’t really back this statement up with any first hand knowledge because I have never been a fan of anyone before. I like moves but never loved them. I love music like I love breathing but have never followed any band in particular and m taste is all over the place. Then you showed up and now not only do I have a secret to keep because my close friends would all think I am effing mad and laugh me out of the pub. Reason #3 why you own me beers. Get a couple pilsners in me and I am gushing about how awesome I think you are. And then everyone leaves. And then I am by myself at the bar with no boys to buy me drinks. Thanks Rob. Thanks a lot.

You- on my therapy couch. NOW

You- on my therapy couch. NOW

Now, all I want is to see snippets of your fine self all over the place. I now skip breakfast entirely to spend sometime in the mornings catching up on all things Rob. To say the least, I am considering therapy. Mostly because my circle of friends will laugh at me if they knew how I felt and a therapist is getting paid not to laugh at people like me. Possible reason #4, if I have to spend money on therapy so I can talk about you, you owe me beers. Since I have found others online that feel similar, I am testing out the online crack before I admit myself to rehab. The 5th and final reason why you owe me beers it that your little Britt pack has got me hooked too. In fact, your amigo Bobby Long is getting close to inching you out of my sexiest voices faces ever. Thank god he is not in movies and does not have a fandom or else he would be getting this letter and he then would owe me beers.

Now, to summarize myself, I have gone out to buy the movies, the books, the album and your buddies albums. Again, all your fault. Your employers should all give you a giant raise for getting me hooked on you, on Twilight. They have made a lot of money off of me – and you should make them use that money to buy all your devoted fans some beers…cause we have been put through the ringer and we deserve a drink.

Just sayin’

Love it- Rob you’re like a Kylie Minogue song, but BETTER!
Have you submitted your “How I fell for Rob” story for consideration? Email it to us!

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  1. All I want in life is to sup one beer with Rob.

  2. I feel exactly the same!
    Never been a fan of anyone before Twilight. And I also love music like breathing but my taste is also all over the place.

    Good thing we have this blog to be open about our craziness 🙂

  3. Yep, a Twi-apist could make a fortune ’round here…

  4. “I had not seen the wizard movies (of course)”

    What is that supposed to mean? Ehhhh???

    But I suppose I will forgive you for writing:

    “I now skip breakfast entirely to spend sometime in the mornings catching up on all things Rob. To say the least, I am considering therapy.”

    I have not seen a bowl of cereal in over a month. Makes me want to cry & I probably need a therapist also. 😉

    • Sorry about the “wizard” reference…I wrote this so long ago..right when I first started reading LTR and I had not read or seen any of the Harry Potter series. I know now how many LTR readers are HP fans and so they are next on my reading list for sure! Hope I did not offend, I am sure I will love them as much as everyone else..if LTT/LTR gals love them then I need to get on the HP bus ASAP…I am easily pressured by my peers.

      • No worries. 🙂 If I were easily offended, I would have left this blog long ago. Harry Potter is just my first love. Started reading it when I was 11. Loved your letter!

  5. Don’t skip breakfast-it’s the most important meal of the day! Eat it in front of the computer, like I do.

    And certainly don’t pay for therapy. Just come here.:)

    • Where the best psychoanalysts will say, “Oh, that’s normal.”

      • Just my luck mine would try to get me to go the “cold turkey” rout. I can’t even imagine it! Who would be my background?? Brad Pitt? No thank you!

  6. you are completly normal, don’t need no stinkin therapist. Rob gets into our hearts, and stays forever. He is so special, one in a million. just enjoy your insane addition to him, and the books.

    • Thanks – if loving Rob is wrong then I don’t want to be right!

      • Amen!!! lol

      • Just wanted to tell ya I completely agree that BOBBY LONG is rivaling Rob’s hotness!!! He is my second fav from the Brit pack behind Rob. Love him!

        Also, the GQ Rob pic “You- on my therapy couch. NOW” was extremely hot. 🙂

  7. I don’t skip breakfast anymore…I bring my bowl of fruit loops to the computer with me! LOL! 😉

  8. I don’t skip breakfast anymore just my
    Real Life!!!!!
    But I’m happy and That’s Normal!!!!

    Oh and if you think Twiobsession is bad do not enter the world of Fan-fic…….it’s hot!!!

    • Ruby is right! Do not enter the world of Fan-fic unless you have a desire to never read an actual book again and abandon television altogether!

  9. Hello, I’m new here, love this site so much since I found it.

  10. It has been at least a couple of months, that I have not spent my mornings reading about Rob or looking at photos of him. Makes me happy to start my day that way, instead of watching the news.

    I just started reading I Love LA, because Grace makes me laugh, and imaging Rob “shirtless, shoeless, in jeans hanging low on his hips”, looking for a mug in my kitchen, for his coffee, makes me all warm inside, on cold mornings. *Sigh*

    He is so hot…

  11. We need to get Rob…and make him all buy us a round of beer at the nearest pub. Trending topic, anyone? hahaha. #drinkwithrob

  12. My favorite part of this letter: “your little Brit pack” like it’s some devilish scheme Rob came up with to drive us all crazy! Well, it’s working. Like Moon has said, it’s unreal that this circle of friends can be so talented (and adorable) and be such old souls, all of them. Oh, and if anyone would like to hook me up with a copy of Bobby’s Dirty Pond Songs, I will love you forever!! 🙂

    • Sorry, I’m NOT giving away my copy – it’s all I have of Bobby, although I did meet Phil. (and if you know who Phil is, you’re as crazy as I am!)

  13. It’s my story today, never have been a fan of anyone in ma entire life and I’m really not a teenager…then a few months ago came along that British intelligent beauty and now..I’m completely lost.

    I’m so glad that I found this blog, where obviously very lovely women are texting, so I could feel more normal or even crazier, I do not know.
    Please forgive mistakes, I’m german….

    • Welcome! I know this place makes me feel normal and has me laughing constantly. Your English is great. Better than some who speak it as their first and only language…lol

  14. “and you should make them use that money to buy all your devoted fans some beers…cause we have been put through the ringer and we deserve a drink.”

    Amen! Everybody to the pub! Drinks on Summit!

    Loved your letter, I agree with the other girls though, don’t skip breakfast! Just eat in front of the computer, I’m doing it right now! Totally works.

  15. Wow. This letter could have been written by me. Except for the fact that it wouldn’t have been half as funny, or well written.

    Love it. Thanks!

  16. Funniest fans in the world–you got that right! 🙂

    And do read and watch HP, they are fantastic! (hugefan)

  17. WTF? Bobby Long doesn’t have a fandom? Hullo! I think a bizillion drooling chicks would disagree. He’s nummy.

    • Love me some Bobby!

  18. Forget a beer…Rob owes me many, many body shots of Tequila. We can take turns licking the salt off each other. MMMMMM.

  19. He owes me beers too!! I was out with my crazy cousins last night and ALL I could think of was that I had not watched Twilight today and I need to go home and reread some kissing scenes from the book! WTF is wrong with me???/

  20. Just sayin’, I ❤ you!
    "Now, to summarize myself, I have gone out to buy the movies, the books, the album and your buddies albums. Again, all your fault. Your employers should all give you a giant raise for getting me hooked on you, on Twilight."

    Seriously! I had not bought a magazine since I was sixteen and reading 'Seventeen' and 'Lucky'! Now I have quite the collection of Rob/twilight magazines, which I keep nestled on my book shelf with my *actual* literature collection.
    And I love Bobby Long! Finally going to see him live next week. sigh.

  21. I became a hermit when I was in the process of reading all the Twilight saga books. 🙂 So I can relate a little.

    Anyway, I don’t drink beer but for Rob I’ll do it!!! Especially if he buys it for me.

  22. I remember hearing about the hoopla surrounding Twilight but I was able to ignore it. I did not se the movie and changed the channel whenever they talked about it. My friend was all over me to read these books and I was like “about teenage vampires in love, I don’t think so..” I am not into that kind of stuff.

    I was able to resist the Twivirus until I was stuck in a small airport for 5 hours. The one store in the airport had 5 books. Kid you not 5 books, one was Twilight. I gave in. That was in May of this year. It was all downhill from there.

    I read all 4 books within 3 weeks, found this way cool blog, fell madly in love with Rob (more so than Edward) and then his buddies.

    I have since bought mags with Rob (like I am going to hang the pics up??), bought the soundtracks, and am trying to end a business trip in San Diego 3 days early so I can fly back to see Sam Bradley. I am also a twiporn addict.

    All because of a crappy little airport.

    • I’m warning you – even if you are over 18, which I’m sure you are, STAY AWAY FROM THE ROBPORN! After reading one particularly bizarre story, I almost lost my attraction to RPatz!!! If it can happen to me, it could happen to anyone. Just don’t go there!

  23. Amen! Beers for everyone! xD

  24. he is very smart and gentle……….

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