From kids, to divorcees, to Twilight moms, we get letters every DAY from delusional freaks (oops, I mean dedicated fans) who find LTR and think it’s a site where all their dreams will come true and you will answer their fan mail in which they PROVE to you they are not a “crazy fan.” We don’t mind getting these emails. They provide us with countless “Cullen Smiles.” In fact, if it weren’t for one of those very letters, we wouldn’t even know what a Cullen Smile was. Thank you, female, 36, from Tampa, FL, who won a spelling bee in the 1st grade and hasn’t spelled a word right since.
Don’t worry. We answer this fan mail for you. It’s basically like we’re your assistants. Or maybe more like your interns. We work for free but there are a few perks. There’s this unwritten rule for interns & their bosses. Ask David Letterman or former President Bill Clinton. We do your dirty work & you thank us for it.
I’ll be waiting,
hey how are you? My name is Elizabeth, but I like to be called liz lol. Um this is my first time writing a fan letter so please say thankyou to your assitant if he or she writes on your behalf
But I just wanted to let you know that you are great actor, in both films I saw you in Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire and now Twilight, you did a great job.
I do have few questions to ask you about your self and also the movie twilight.
1. Is Rosalie on James side, because she rubbed Bella’s jacket on the tree and then James smelt in and realised he was goin the wrong way?
2. Bella wears a bracelt of saints, is she meant to be catholic?
Thank you Rob an I hope to hear from you or your assitant soon lol
Dear Liz lol,
My name is UnintendedChoice but I like to be called “UC” lol. I am what you could call “Rob’s assistant.” I run his site “Letters to Rob” where he provides an open forum for his fans to write letters to himself. Isn’t he so giving?
So you think Rob is a good actor, huh? What did you in? Was it “Hello. My name is Edward Cullen”?
To answer your questions. No- Rosalie wasn’t on James’ side. She moonlights as a stripper and thought that tree looked a lot like her favorite pole at “Buttcrack Santa’s Lounge” and couldn’t help rubbing up against it. And yes. Bella is catholic. Didn’t you know that the entire Twilight saga is just propaganda put out by the Vatican?
Hello there, you don’t know me but I am a 29year old divorced women from Colorado. I think it would be grand to meet you one day, and I know you’ve heard this before from many fans. But I am not some crazed teeny bopper fan, who would tear off your clothes if given the chance. I have had encounters with celebs before, and I know how to hold my composer at least somewhat. I would love to sit down and have a real conversation with you about your acting and your music, which I love by the way. Take care, and much love in the world for you.
-Divorced in Colorado
Did you say you’re a divorced women? As in… multiple women? Did you and a bunch of other 29 year old divorcees get together to write to Rob? That’s pretty cool. Do you have a club or something? “Divorced women in their late 20s in Colorado who have no desire whatsoever to tear off Robert Pattinson’s clothes.”
I’m glad to hear you can hold your composer “at least somewhat” around a celebrity. What composer do you hold? Carter Burwell? Do you hold him hostage? I was a little confused on that part of your letter. OH! You meant “composure.” You sometimes hold your composure of not wanting to tear off Rob Pattinson’s clothes. What is “somewhat?” 80% of the time you can and 20% of the time you can’t? Or is more like 65/35? I think Rob would be really reassured by those odds.
Tell the other gals who don’t want to tear off Rob’s clothes hi for me,
A married women in her late 20s who wouldn’t mind tearing off Rob Pattinson’s clothes
Will there be or will there NOT be more delusional writers after the jump?
this isn’t just a letter from a obsessed fan who wants to have your hair or watch highschool musical 2 with you. i’m seriously a huge fan.! i think we should get married haha, your so talented, i love your song ‘never think’, i listen to it every night, it makes me cry every time, i watch your interveiws alot on youtube, espically the one where you bit tyra banks that made me laugh so for so long, when i first saw it and it still gets me. twilight is my favourite movie and book, mostly because your in it, when i first saw you in harry potter and the goblet of fire, i knew i was IN love with you, i cant wait for your upcoming movies espically new moon, i have atleast 130 posters of you. i’m not a freak or anything i just like waking up every morning to your face… a world without you, would suck.
xx lots of love,
your biggest fan
To Rob’s biggest freak fan,
It’s good to hear you’re not a freak. And you only have 130 posters of Rob? What’s wrong with you? There are at LEAST 439 out on the market & you will not truly prove your normalness as a fan until you own them all. You have some work to do. Ready-set-BUY! (Oh, and you might need to ask Dad for a bigger bedroom… I think you might run out of wall space)
A bigger fan than you because I have 141 posters
This next letter was received on Rob’s birthday
Happy Birthday Rob!! I’m sure you will never see this but it made me feel better just to send it. You are God’s greatest creature to this Earth! Not just because you are handsome but the best part from what I have seen in interviews is that you are humble, thankful, and really appreciate everything that you have been given the opportunity to do.
Would love to meet you like all your fans!
Hugs on your birthday from
a Twilight Mom
Dear “A Twilight Mom,”
100 bucks you have an “I drive like a Cullen” bumper sticker on your car, right? And did you decorate your guest room with an Edward duvet? Thought so
A normal Twilight fan
omg im in love with you rob, you are my idol i would PROUDLY take a bullet for you. me and my friends we call our selves twilight characters like im renesmee and my 2 BFFs are alice and esme and rosealie our dads our carslile and emmett and jasper and edward.after high school im going to go to washington state college
my name is amanda aka renesmee and im a proud twilighter
Dear Amanda aka renesmee,
Wait? Your dads are Carlisle, Emmett & Jasper? Have you ever heard your moms refer to them as “Unicorns?” Let me know!
A girl who is glad I don’t have kids who are writing to “celebrities” on the internet
We all have gifts. gifts that make us unique while connecting us to others. sometimes, we never see our gifts because the fog between us and the mirror is too thick. sometimes, we find our gift after years of misusing and misunderstanding. and sometimes the gift becomes clear and we feel like, okay, now what do i do with it? seeing, knowing, and doing eventually come together. if not in this life, well then, in the next.
i allways belived in everything from a lollie in front of me when it really was’nt to dragans or vampires but the most thing i allways belived in was i knew i was going to meet you one day, so i just need to say im not going to anouying you like the other screaming fans do.if they were really your fans or really cared about you they would not do that to you, i just wish i could meet you one day.
i hope so………………
-Jordan Masen Cullen
Dear uniquely gifted,
Whoa. THIS is a coincidence. Do you know that Edward, from the books the Twilight saga, is named Edward Masen Cullen? Just like your name. If that’s not a sign that you’re going to one day get arrested for stalking Rob meet Rob I don’t know what is.
A screaming fan,
PS: Writing to Rob 4 days in a row is not a unique gift, FYI (but I enjoyed reading your letters)
Have you ever written a crazy letter? To Rob!? Confess
Pictures from, where else? Robsessed