Askmen.com recently voted you one of their top 49 most influential men of 2009. That’s exciting, right? I mean just knowing you’re thought of as an influential person… that what you say REALLY matters. I mean they MUST know you’re a serious dude who demands to be on top (that’s what she said). So, wanna know where you landed among these 49 other supposedly stellar dudes? Number 44. Yup, 5 from the bottom.
This got me to thinking (surprise) if you’re number 44 then who are the other guys who made it, especially the 5 below you, how were they not more influential then the dude who plays Edward Cullen, the vampire? So I took a look and here’s what I found…
#49. Lance Armstrong – Won like a bazillion Tour de France championships. Oh and he battled cancer and came out victorious though one ball less. AND all while boinking Sheryl Crow, Kate Hudson and an Olsen twin! This guy lost to you?!
#48. Jenson Button – Who? Besides the cute name who is this dude? Apparently he’s a Formula One driver which Askmen.com says “is like NASCAR without the chewing tobacco and mullets.” Ah, what an illustrious career option. So unless you consider banging a lingerie model influential, I can’t quite figure out why he’s even on this list. He looks like Andy Samberg meets someone blonder and way lamer.
#47. Santiago Calatrava – Some old architect dude. He’s designed a bunch of impressive shiz and will be designing he new World Trade Center transportation hub and something in Chicago. *Snnnzzz* Sorry, I lost you there for a second. You can tell MEN chose this list. Of course they’d pick some dude like Santigo cause guys like Brad Pitt, Donald Trump and yuppie middle men advertisers get off on stuff like architecture.
#46. Mario Batalli – Freaking awesome hot ginge chef! This is the guy who could teach you to make a killer homemade hot pocket but with stuff like leeks and raw eggs and crap inside of pepperoni. I’ve been to his pizza place, Mozza, many times and sorry to say it Rob, but Mario should be at least top 10 or at least higher than you cause his food will influence you to get reservations months in advance.
#45. Italo Zucchelli – Head Designer for Calvin Klein. Um, I think you know how we feel about your wardrobe choices. While the constant parade of flannel and plaid is endearing we gotta call you on your choice of Awards Show attire. Obviously Taylor is well acquainted with the works of Mr. Zucchelli, I’m gonna suggest you do the same.
Follow the cut to read the rest…
#44 You! Robert Pattinson (read their break down and the ensuing 35+ comments. most comments out of all of them) How you’re number 44 most influential I’ll never know. I mean you single handedly revived a Dutch beer company, a microwavable sandwich, made flannel and plaid a fashion DO, had every woman aged 0 to 100 swooning over your discussions of “wipey things” and things coming out of your pants, reading obscure literature, lining up to see arthouse films about Salvador Dali and a guy named Art, you plucked 3 musician buddies out of total musical obscurity only to tour the US to sold out shows, tested the police protection of major cities including New York City, LA and Vancouver, and of course you took Twilight which was a literary success and turned it into a cultural phenomenon. So, influential? Yea, maybe just a touch.
#43 & 42 – Basketball dudes. It would probably help if I knew more about professional sports in general to make some type of statement about how influential they are and why more than you. But then again I’m too busy blogging about YOU to figure it out.
#19 – Ryan Seacrest – Really, Askmen.com, Ryan SEACREST is #19? REALLY?!
#16 – Conan O’Brien – DUH! he should be #1. He should also be my lovah
#14 – Jack Dorsey – Creator of Twitter. I’m sure a lot of you owe him your everlasting love and gratitude. He is also a foxy nerd.
and as much as I love Don Draper (#1) how in the HALE did he, a fictional TV character win out over Barack Obama (#3!!), leader of the free world. WTF?
And while we’re at it Askmen.com, may I ASK why 49?! Why not 50? Why not 48? Answer me that.
It’s surprising you even made it on this list Rob, since it was voted on by men and men are notoriously Rob-blockers (thx Vickyb!) which is worse than a cock block. So maybe it really is a miracle you even made the list though I think you were a pretty influential person in 2009… but maybe I’m just biased. But then again, I gotta question a MEN’S site that votes RYAN SEACREST into any sort of list.
You’ll always be #1 in my book! Well at least top ten…
So what do you think about this list? IS Rob an influential person? Is he influential compared to other dudes on the list?