Posted by: Bekah | October 5, 2009

Monday Funnies: Stuff guys record about Robert Pattinson

Dear Rob,

I wish I could walk around with a recording device & capture random conversations I have with my husband. I won’t even mention you and he’ll say something so brilliant and hilarious about you that it must be shared with the entire LTR world.  For example, the other day we were in my car and I switched on the Twilight soundtrack when he wasn’t paying attention to listen to your songs for old time’s sake. When he realized what I had done, he called you a “Mumbling fool” and went on a 5 minute rant about your mumbling singing-style. I have to admit, he’s kinda right. You do have, as he lovingly coined it, “the mumbles.” While I think it’s endearing, he thinks… well, I’ll let you guess what he thinks about you & your “mumbles.”

I came home from work the other day to find my husband, not surprisingly, in his home recording studio with his headphones on.  I assumed he was working on something for his latest indie dance song craze, but no, I was wrong. VERY wrong.

It turns out he, without the aid or guidance from me whatsoever, tracked you down, interviewed you and premiered a remix of one of your songs on his “radio show.” Or, at least, he thinks it’s you. I have a feeling “Robert Paddleston” might be an impostor.

I now present to you the most Epic Stuff Guys say about Robert Pattinson” EVER:

I love “the Mumbles,”

Listen here on Imeem if the link above did not work (you’ll have to sign up- it’s worth it. Great site!)

I had no part in this interview/song. Seriously. Not showering? The Tuck? The British slang? The stealing of my Twilight soundtrack so he could recreate “Let me sign?” My husband did it all. While I’m extremely proud to call him mine, I’m also a bit concerned. What if his hatred of “Paddleston” is a front? And he secretly has a man-crush?

Discuss Epic things YOUR man has done/said about Twilight on The Forum
and see what Monday Funnies are going on over on LTT
Don’t forget about the Contest we’re running through Wed at 11:59pm ET


  1. This was amazing. I’ve been sick all weekend and this is what I needed to start my lovely day at work. I’m at the stage where I have to fake laugh unless I want to go into a coughing fit. I couldn’t fake laugh, full coughing fit. Everyone at work thought I was dying!

    Thanks UC!

  2. If you can get him drunk enough to agree, i’m imagining story time with DChoice where he reads little snippets of Twilight, does voices and adds his own commentary. Will be pure win.

  3. That English accent! mwahahahahahaha Waiting for the Youtube version…

  4. I am so going to do my morning exercise on that song! let me siiiiiiiiiiiiiiign!

  5. OMG UC! That was some funny shit! Your hubby is so great and so witty! My DH just says “gay” over and over again anytime I bring up Twilight or anything related to it. I love “The Tuck” reference and his nod to Rob’s accent (even though the real thing kills me dead).

  6. Loved this! Can’t wait to hear more from DChoice..a series with interviews from more of the cast would be epic!

  7. I laugh till I cried, the hubby is brilliant. Lucky woman, not married to my BF but have put in 12+ years, so it’s like a marriage. Don’t cry for me Argetina! He is a good guy and he adores me. Until Rob, I totally adored just him. But now I am torn and he is angry. He constantly complains about how I look at the import. Yes, that is his nickname for my British God “the import”. The nerve of him, I love him though, for now. He feels secure that I will never meet Rob but is saving up my bail money in a money market account just in case. He knows me so well.

  8. wonder you keep this man around. Funny stuff.

  9. Um, so this is basically amazing. My fave part is, “Honey, which one are you, choice or moon?”

  10. This is made of epic win!

  11. LMAO!! Oh for the love of all that is holy…my stomach hurts SO bad from laughing!! That is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard! The song was GREAT! My 3 yr. old spend the entirety of it jumping around the room dancing while screaming Edward, Edward, over and over!! Thank you for making me start my Monday with a smile (and almost wet pants!LOL!)

  12. Yeah Mr. Choice!

    This was hilarious and really so cute that he made it for you in a way.

    You should feel very lucky.

  13. Hahahahahahaha. Oh how I just fell in love Robert Paddleston and your husband alike.
    That was a definite WIN! Too funny to even try to describe how funny it was.

  14. I’ve been reading LTT/LTR for ages and this is the post that got me out of lurkdom because I must thank u girls for being so funny! Not sure how I’d get through Mondays (or any week day, for that matter) without you!

  15. This is the funniest thing I have heard. Ever.

  16. This was absolutely hilarious and that accent was classic, what a great husband!

    I have a confession, I have only told my friends about this but thought you ladies may appreciate it.

    I saw Him last week in Vancouver at my hotel, where I was checking out pre-Olympics sites. He ran by me and I had about 5 seconds to process who he was while he was about a foot away from me. He looked like he had just gotten out of the shower, bc his hair looked wet. He was just as handsome in person, and the jaw and cheekbones are amazing, and he had no hat or sunglasses on. I was on a computer in the business center and truly was shocked at the sighting as I was not expecting it at 1pm on a Monday. My life may be slightly complete. Just wanted to share. I didn’t stop him or follow him or tweet about it. I just smiled at him as he ran by and our eyes met for about 2 seconds. I was able to keep my inner fangirl in check, barely.
    PS – he does run a little bit like a chicken. : )

    • OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • I knew only this site would truly appreciate my run-in with Him. My friends truly just don’t understand. The coworker that I was with only saw the back of him bc I quietly pointed him out to her and she couldn’t understand why I was pretty much hyperventilating. And as I looked around, after he was gone, to the other people totally unaware of what had just happened, I sort of felt a little special although he is totally unaware of it. Aw, the magic of RPattz. I love this site for making me laugh and for making me feel like there are others out there who understand that magic. Thank you ladies!

        • Ah! Good for you for containing your inner fangirl! I would have had trouble as well. How exciting!

        • good job. I’m proud of you:):)

    • ” My life may be slightly complete. Just wanted to share. I didn’t stop him or follow him or tweet about it. I just smiled at him as he ran by and our eyes met for about 2 seconds.”

      ..and I forgot what I was about to comment…

      magic indeed

  17. HAHAHAHA! I love how he just mumbles through the whole thing and goes “Let Me Sign”. He’s hilarious. All I ever get it “say it, out loud” in the kitchen when I’m making pancakes or some shit. I laugh, but only because I’m desperately trying to get him to at least acknowledge my Twilight/Rob love, and not look at me like a freak when he finds my girl porn laying around (a.k.a. The Office fanfiction).

  18. That was hillarious. I was at work laughing at the changing Brit accents the most!

  19. Bahahah! Your husband is great. Definitely the worst British accent ever… But great. 🙂

    • Yes, that accent was horrific – as bad as the Jimmy Fallon one! But it also reminded me of my husband, who is a huge Robsession enabler and has a great sense of humor. When Mr. MG is “talking like Rob” he does this awful cockney thing that generally starts with “ello gov’ner” and degenerates immediately.

      But more than Rob accent, Mr. G says all sorts of dopey Edward crap to me to make me laugh. His favorite at the moment is the New Moon “before you, my life was like . . . but instead of moonless night, he often subs other kinds of darkness, like a porta potty with no skylight or a walk-in closet with no bare bulb, or whatever.

      • “Before you, my life was like a port a potty with no skylite”… that’s too hilarious!

  20. hee hee. Rob Paddleston!!
    love the radio interview! Your husband sounds like he needs a pint to deal with Rob!

    Cheesy homosexual song.. . WIN!
    giving lady Gaga competition??Gay Rob song, …. sounds like Robbie’s got a bit of constipation.. rhurmph.. ughh. mumble..

    anyway… we knew rob was probably believing a bit too much in his own publicity (and probably his acting abilities as well) ouch.. but lets be truthful now. who goes to see twilight for Rob’s acting abilities??

    Rob baby take the 30 mill from Twilight.. and run baby!


  22. I loved that DChoice! Now i want to record mr. MG’s super awesome sing a long version of Never Think. The first time he “sang” along w/ Rob, I was driving and I almost crashed the car b/c I was laughing so hard. He does a combo of mumbling, muttering and whale sounds, plus an occasional high pitched wailing noise (we call that “the cat w/ it’s paw in the socket” – rob makes that noise a few times in Never Think)

    UC – u r a lucky chica to have such a funny hubby. My hub is also the funniest person I know. Most important characteristic IMHO. Their hair eventually falls out (on the top of the head anyway – back hair is forever), but the funny is forever.

    • hahaa ‘back hair is forever’ ew! and WHY is that!?

      • Gravity. The stuff furthest from the earth feels the most pull.

  23. couldn’t listen at work, so I just hit play…and now I’m having to explain to the hubs why I’m laughing so hard that I’m crying!! absolutely hysterical!
    mad props on the dance remix. I was expecting something generic and pre-made…but the chords were right, and that made me smile!

  24. Oh my. While listening to this, it’s like I saw some kind of future vision of my husband’s breakdown due to my obsession.

    I really don’t want to put him through something like this. I better…

    divorce him now…

  25. UC

    I’m totally in lust with your husband.. just saying..

    That was, without a doubt the best laugh Ihave had in… months…

    Thanks for sharing!!

  26. Oh God, I don’t even know where to start! That was amazing! I love laughing til I have uncontrollable shakes! Thanks for sharing UC!

    I’m glad my boyfriend isn’t here atm, cause that would have caused some sort of argument… him getting mad at me for spending all my time looking at twi-related stuff, me calling him a tosser, him not getting the joke and getting even more mad… bad times all around

    I thought I was getting close to converting him, but the other day when I was telling him he was coming w. me to see New Moon, he got mad and I had to explain to him that it is more “guy-friendly”. When I informed him that Edward gets his ass kicked, his response was “Good”… I think converting him is completely out of the question…


  27. OMG !!! I’m laughing soooo hard right now !!! The song’s just too funny … lol !

  28. Hey girls (and unicorns), and of course, UC and Moon – as usual, you ladies ROCK MY WORLD! D Choice is awe-some! Thankfully (or not, depending on your view) my hubby hasn’t yet thought of using his recording software to make fun of me.
    I must update my report for you all, though, that he’s currently reading New Moon, and has even gone so far as to declare that once he finishes we will go out to dinner and discuss the book (as we did when he finished Twilight). I have found him reading the book while he’s waiting for me to get ready before we go out, or before we left the house on Friday for a weekend at friend’s. Squee!
    Hey, he may not ever clean up after himself or buy me flowers “just because,” but I’ll take my unicorn-in-training any day!
    Love to you all!

  29. So, do you make hubby use that faux British voice in the bedroom? Inquiring minds want to know!!! lmao

  30. will your husband be my best friend? please? 🙂
    and YESSS he should TOTALLY interview the fake lesbians.

  31. Genius…love it!! You are so very lucky…all I get is the eye roll or (when I post Twi news as my FB status) mocking replies from my hub.

    And, does he ever sound like Kevin Smith! Wow!!

  32. Not sure that you even see posts that are days past your posting something, but I have had to wait 2 days to finally be alone (at work and/or at home) to be able to finally listen to D-Choice.

    THAT WAS AMAZING (that’s what she said) – your hubby is totes hilarious! I have to commend him for tolerating all of this…. and then participating in it all – he’s definitely a “keeper”!

  33. Oh GOD. Your husband is the best EVER!!!!
    You better hold on tight!


  34. […] sound so good in writing. I’ll sing it next time I’m on D Choice’s show “Interviews with people before they’re irrelevant.” Or maybe I’ll mumble it. That might be better. here come the mumbles Anyway, on to […]

  35. “Blut-ee ‘ell” I rewound it and played that part 6 times! That might be the best worst English accent ever.

    Your husband rocks!

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