Sing like Robert Pattinson… in your dreams

Dear Rob-

As you might know by now, one of my favorite things about you is your musical talent. I’ve gone on at lengths about it here in a bajillion (real mathematical term) letters and even regularly have mini downward spirals into obsessive listening binges with pals such as Kristin that even inspired the perfect dream world in which when we die your music is playing as we enter heaven (yea, I know just go with it). And well that might be TMI and is probably much funnier in context but seriously ya gotta know, it’s true. I kinda almost wish you were a real (read: recording, touring) musician more than an actor, but I guess this acting thing is panning out for you so don’t fix it if it ain’t broke I suppose. But really I think you’re a pretty awesome musician and that’s saying a lot coming from me cause I’m kinda critical about my music.

So on one of these many obsessive listening binges I happened across videos of people covering you music. And of course I knew I struck gold… 2nd hand embarrassment gold, that is! The idea of covering you in the first place is laughable. You have the weirdest pronunciation that you are so fond of that makes even understanding the lyrics next to impossible. Then couple that with your unorthodox time signatures/rhythms and you’ve got a Youtube cover nightmare/delight waiting to happen! So I will do my best Randy/Paula (now Ellen!)/Simon critique on these folks and hopefully we’ll all have a laugh and remember who you really should be the only one who plays your music.

So “off you go!”
Themoonisdown

Never Think

Um first rule of writing/playing a pop song the intro should NOT be 1.25 long… good lord I almost fell asleep and then you started singing and then I definitely got turned off. Oh and learn the oddball lyrics a little better. Maybe next time, Dawg.

Ok, so this is probably one of the more decent covers I found though he needs to put a little more urgency or rhythm into his playing, it’s a bit plodding and slow. BUT good work in making it more your own and not and exact Rob copy.

Like we all knew: only a girl could pay proper respect to the awesome that is Robert Pattinson! And this gal brings it. Besides having an interesting voice and take on the song I gotta give major props to the decor. Between the chalkboard wall and the liquor store shrine to Rob on the keyboard, she looks like a gal I wanna hang out with. Is that Andre or Boones Farm I see?

And now the song that should never EVER be covered: Let Me Sign. Let the butchering begin!

(Follow the cut to see Shia LeBeuf sing Let me sign)

So I’m confused is this supposed to sound like you’re on the old timey radio hour? Cause if so I’d like to say “Ahhh the lovely Boylen sisters! Who care’s what they’re wearing on main street or Savile road! It’s what you wear from ear to ear and not from head to toe… that maaaaaattters!” If you’re not from the Colgate radio hour and you did this, you just wasted my time.

Pitchy dawg… WAY pitchy! There were points in the last half of the song you were hitting notes never meant for that key. Not in the Dawg Pound tonight Dawg, in fact that performance might get you put down.

One word: FAIL. WHatever you were singing wasn’t even in the same key as what you were playing, nor did the rhythm match. Ghastly.

Dude, is that you Shia LaBeuf? What are you doing singing RPattz songs in a wanna-be Incubus band in  some dudes basement? Nice candle.

So cringworthy? Some decent? Have you ever scoured Youtube for this crap or am I the only one? Please share your faves!

Head over to LTT for good times
Head over to the forum for more video and also check out The Biggest Loser! What’s that? you’ll have to go see!