Posted by: themoonisdown | September 9, 2009

Top NINE mistakes Rob Pattinson has made

Dear Rob-

You know that horrible sinking feeling you get when you missed a really big occasion like your moms birthday, the anniversary of KStews mullet, or Christmas?! How about when you remember but you celebrate the wrong age, date, holiday? WAH, WAH WAaaaaaH. Yes, if there was ever a moment for the instant fail button, it is now. Please use it on us repeatedly. So yea, that’s pretty much what we did. And I bet you were laughing your arse off yesterday as we were congratulating ourselves and getting all gushy and thinking we’re cool by creating top ten lists to celebrate our TEN MONTH anniversary of blogging when in fact it is our NINE MONTH anniversary of blogging (hit it again, for good measure!). Yup, we’re clearly math majors and should be teaching children of the world how to count and do simple mathmatics. Oops.

How neither of us caught that until last night as I lay in my bed counting the months as images of sugar plum fairies (Kellan) danced in my head. And I sat straight up having a Bella style nightmare and recounted before sending a frantic text to UC, “um did we miscount?”

Yup, pretty much soooo if you’ll bear with us and to make up for our shenanigans and since we ALL make mistakes here are the Top NINE Mistakes Rob Pattinson has made!

10. Hats
robhats

All of them! But mostly the crappy freebie baseball hats you’ve been sporting since you filmed Remember Me in New York this summer. The crab one, the New York one and now the ugly one with the science beaker on it from the Bobby Long/Vancouver show? Yuck. Just throw them out and start over. You’re not hiding under those so please stop suffocating the locks of lusciousness and let your mane go wild and free. But if you must cover them up for windy days or bad hair day please go with something ULTRA British like a Beefeater (thats what she said) guard hat. I mean no one’s gonna bother you then cause they’ll think you’re on duty. Or just plain batshit crazy.

You'd never know this was Rob on the street if you saw him wearing his Beefeater hat

You'd never know this was Rob on the street if you saw him wearing his Beefeater hat

What other mistakes has Rob made, follow the cut for more fails!

09. Ring of Nibelungs

Mullet or neck warmer?

Mullet or neck warmer?

While this did provide us with hours of laughter. At your expense. You had a mullet and ran around with a tunic on we simply can’t be alright with any sort of party on the back of your neck. Sorry

8.5. Modeling before the age of 16
muimui02
The pictures say it all. We’re still agreeing to agree with never happened, right?

08. Dying in Harry Potter

Seriously, you just should have refused to die in that scene where Cedric’s dad is crying “My boy!!!” You should have sat up and said “Dad, I’m fine I’m totes just playing dead so Harry can win and then later I can kill him off and take over the Harry Potter franchise too!” That would have been amazing and we would have Cedric/Cho rumors now instead of Robsten gossip.

07. Thinking Spunk Ransom was a good nickname
Seriously? No.

06. Choosing the line “spider monkey” from Cathy Hardwickes list of new dialogue for Edward

I know you were a starving actor and just wanted to please ol Cathy but at some point you gotta put your foot down and stand for your artistic integrity and tell that cougar: “NO! I will not utter a line referencing a spider monkey whilst Kristen Stewart hangs from my back and you cannot lure me in with your older feminine whiles! I have a teen on my back and I’m digging her ‘laise blah’ attitude!” Yup, you coulda just said that and she would have given up and drowned her sorrows in another cocktail at the TGIFridays Cougarriffic Happy Hour in Oregan and saved us all a lot of cringing.

05. Not hooking up with Ashley Greene

Are you crazy or just farsighted? Cause I’m beginning to think you can only see stuff that’s like an inch in front of your face because obviously had you recognized her true beauty we’d be talking about Robley right now and not dissecting pictures of you and the mullet at concerts.

04. Licensing your image/likeness for shitty merch like bandaids and candy heart containers
twilight-edward-shirt
I have a sinking feeling you get like NO cut of the merchandising or if you do you have absolutely zero say in what gets produced because I can’t really see you ok-ing a shirt with your face on it that says “What if I’m the bad guy”  or knowing somewhere out there a girl (me) has a sparkly Ken doll that bears a strong resemblance to you but is anatomically incorrect.

03. Raiding your Dad’s closet
robbadclothes
We love Dick (um, that’s what she said?) but any place that gives us the dad-leather jacket, the tweed dumpster coat, the dadcase and probably that blue cable knit sweater should be closed off and marked for demolition.

02. Alluding to the fact you crapped your pants on national television

(:34 mark. The rest is just a gift from me to you!)
Um, not really a shining moment in the Rob TV hall of fame. I was embarrassed for not only you but mostly for me cause I wrote a blog about a man who mentions fecal matter in award acceptance speeches. I shutter still.

01. Not playing or creating enough music

Really, do we need to beg? Cause I’ve got like a gaggle of girls who will gladly get on their knees with me (that’s what she said) and commence the begging if you needed to be convinced further. If you could wear out an MP3 I’d say I did it months ago because of how much I’ve listened to your stuff. So I’m rationing out listens to the vinyl version of the soundtrack, cause I don’t need to be shelling out 20 clams every other month for a new album.

See, Rob you’re just like us, mistakes and all! So will you forgive our miscalculations and the fail on behalf of the US public school system and love us anyway?

Happy 9 months/mistakes!
Themoonisdown

PS Oh and UC, you know that stuff I said yesterday about 10 months, just cross the 10 out and sub in a 9 and we’re good! XO

How about we do the same but over at LTT? Yup, sounds good to me!
Celebrate mistakes over at the forum!

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Responses

  1. I wondered if your mathing was correct yesterday….but I had a wicked migraine and thought maybe I was the one who was frigged up.

    So yay! Nine months! Long enough to have a (human) baby! Momentous.

    I happen to enjoy Rob in hats (except for the NY one…goooooooooo Red Sox!) But the beefeater picture is priceless. I think I’ll get it framed.

    oink

    • “So yay! Nine months! Long enough to have a (human) baby! Momentous.”

      omg now that you put it that way!! WOW!

      • And you already surpassed how long it takes to have a half human half vamp baby several months ago… so I’d give yourself a nice little pat on the back and forget this little snaffoo.

    • PERLEASE people – that is NOT, I repeat NOT a Beefeater hat. It is a “Bear Skin” worn by the Royal Guards. Beefeater’s are the guards at The Tower of London and the are completely different. C’mon people get it right please!

  2. I totes agree with number 5! Ashley is gorgeous. I’d become a fake lesbian for her, hell who am I kidding I’d become a real lesbian; if your gunna do it you might as well do it right.

    • I’ve been saying that for months.. Ashley is truly a beauty.. old Hollywood gorgeous… and seems very sweet… I’d totes be up for a little bi exploration if she was involved.. but only if Rob was along too… and he asked nicely 😛

      • Kelly! I love you, girl b/c this means I am tot normal for having that pic of her in the red flannel and black thigh highs as my desk top and then blaming my husband for it when my mom came over and got a glimpse of my computer. (That’s what she said.)
        Seriously, Rob? That girl knows how to wear flannel! And leather and jean cut offs and anything and nothing…
        I digress. Point is, can we take turns?

    • threeesome!

      dude ashley! come on rob!!!!!!!!!

      • Dear Diary,

        JACKPOT!!! 🙂

  3. haha-I realized it was nine months last night -I even went into the archives to check the date. Oh well-happy nine months!

    I laughed at most of Rob’s mistakes-I’m kinda glad he made them, except maybe the one about crapping his pants. No filter, this boy.

  4. I love top 10 (whatever) lists and this one is pure gold! I cringe at most of these – the hair (*cringe*), the VMA comment (*cringe* *shudder*), the dads only thrift store purchases (*etc*), and if I meet him some day and actually am not able to talk him into doing it dumpster style with me, I may just have to ask him WTF about Ashley. Because really? I am about to start a letters to ashley site and become a sometime gaygirl bc she is fah-reak-in hot!

    • letters to ashley for REALS!!! forget this rob shiz

  5. I have a sinking suspicion that the hats (and messy hair) are there to cover up a thin spot. We all saw it in the Night of Praise photos. Stop, Rob, Stop! The hats just make it worse! Invest in some Rogaine now!

    As for #s 2 and 3, well, that’s just part of what makes him so Rob. I’m happy to keep him that way.

    • Wait?! Where? When? Noooo!

    • Check out Dick’s head. That stuff is hereditary.

      And if it’s true-PLEASE start the Rogaine now. Bald Rob= major fail.

      • not to get all science geek on you, but I THINK that male pattern baldness is passed down from the mom’s side… So Dick’s head (oye… difficult to say that) is inconsequential.

        Though I could be wrong… but I’m pretty sure I learned about that in my genetics lessons during 10th grade bio?

        • I rocked Biology, and I believe you are correct.

          hehehe, Dick’s head

          • I have been schooled on make pattern baldness, thanks. I’m not at my sharpest in the morning. Also didn’t care much for Biology.

            Dick’s head..I honestly didn’t catch that when I wrote it, hehe.

            I’m just glad that Rob’s keeping his hair.

        • You are correct, it’s passed from the mothers father… we need a look at his maternal grandfather… get on it girls!

        • I agree with HeyyyBrother. Rob CANNOT lose his hair… not just because we say so, but because genes so say, too!

          *whew!*

    • Ooooooooooo I did wonder about that too. Rob without his hair? Oooooooo NO, NO, NO!!!!!!!! Looking on the bright side, he’ll just have to rub his hands through my hair instead…..and I didn’t say which end 🙂

      x

    • Don’t worry girls! Baldness skips a generation and also the gene is carried from the mother’s side. So don’t worry, Rob won’t go bald. Unless of course his grandfather(maternal side) is going bald. Or unless he starts pulling his hair out because of Kristen’s mullet.

    • So what if he does go bald? Lord knows he has plenty of awesome wigs to choose from.

      • BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

        That was awesome.

    • OMG!!!!!!!!! im starting a vigil now… lighting candles, praying, rubbing genie lamps for wishes, ya know the usual

  6. #1 – There is no limit to the amount of time I would spend on my knees. Seriously. Um, for the music of course.

    Haha, Happy 9 months!!

    • always for the music!

    • On the knees….Is that for the music.. or to make him sing… just askin’ 😉

  7. Oh man I’ve had those “OMG!” moments that make you sit bolt-upright in bed – lol!

    And what – Twilight band-aids = no good?! C’mon – having a paper-cut and something entertaining to wrap around it has never been so much fun! (But really – will anyone here EVER get a paper-cut ever again in their whole lives and not immediately think of Twilight???)

    • Hahah! That’s SO true. “Ouch, paper cut.”

    • Yeah, but get a paper cut and hemorrhages on a white carpet… seriously.

    • @snarkier I’ve been meaning to tell you that your cat looks just like my cat!!!! :-). Is it a Russian blue? So pretty!

    • any time i get a papercut from now on im going to yell “PAPER CUT!” a la Bella in the movie and fling the offender across the room as the one blood splat drops to the floor

      • Good plan… and I think you just wrote a SNL skit!

  8. What’s a month between friends? I’m just glad LTR is here at all. Who the hell else could I obsess over HHH with?

    Also, despite Robs bad hats, clothing & whatever, I’d still totally hit that!

  9. Hate the baseball hats but only because they have the wrong symbols on them.

    Rob definetly needs a Transam hat! So that I can make at least one comparison b/w him and my love.

  10. Call me silly, but that fact that he makes these kinds of mistakes is what I like about him. He is so unfiltered in interviews… I love it! After I discovered him in May of ’09 (I know, I know, I was way late and I seriously overdue for a how-I-fell-for-rob letter) I watched YouTube videos of him non-stop. I quickly found that I really like the say-anything, never-wash-the-hair, wear-anything, drive-anything (even without knowing how to drive), and dogmatically-publicly-pursue his boyfriended co-star Rob. Having said all that… I still cringe about the “little bit just came of out my pants” part. The look on Kristen’s face when he says that is priceless. lt will probably be the only simultaneous emotion Kirsten and I will ever share.

  11. Rob saying he’s shitting his pants during accepting an award = CLASSIC can’t watch it enough!!

    • One reason why I love him so! No filter = good times!

  12. Happy 9 month’s!

    I agree with #1, although I have to say when I listen to his music I forget how totally hot he is (which might distract me *slightly* when he’s on screen) and just think it’s beautiful, especially Never Think which kinda breaks my heart every time I hear it. (Mostly because I listen to it and get upset because I’ll never meet him and he’ll never sit in a meadow with me and sing it to me himself.)

    Also, HOW have i never seen Ring of Nibelungs and enjoyed the Rob-mullet??!

  13. Everything you guys have mentioned have seriously been mistakes he’s done…i’m just gonna be a beeotch here and stir the pot a little and say that #5 makes the MOST sense!! Instead of hooking up with the girl next door…he goes for the femullet…just becuz he chooses to dress shitty doesnt mean he has to bang spam!! LMAO 😀

    • He says he likes “girls who are a little bit nuts” (insert accent). Also, he likes girls who are not available. In 2007 Kristen fit the bill to a tee because she had a boyfriend AND she was 16. I think this cause him to fixate like James in Twilight.

      • Point taken 🙂 LOL

    • Ok, so I am sure to get shit thrown at me for this but I look at Rob and Ash and think of that line in the Cheyenne Social Club (vintage Henry Fonda and Jimmy Stewart owning a whore house? Must watch!) about how Jenny asks this one guy to take a bath. Jimmy says, “well, did you?” Bad guy: “This territory is full of women you don’t have to smell like a rose to get next to.” Jimmy: “I’ll bet that’s the dying truth.”
      Long story. Anyway, I bet it’s Ashley who nailed the coffin lid on that one. Did you see her at the awards when Kstew and Cathy Cougar and NReed were salivating? She was like, “Meh.”
      She probably told him to take a bath first and he was like, “Wh – wh -what? My charming British accent and unwashed sex hair aren’t enough for you?”
      And Ash was all, “Um, no. Shower, really. And do something about those clothes.”
      And poor Rob was like, “But I’ve never played the Sub before!” And ran away to hit the mullet again.
      Just sayin’.

  14. About “Never Think”… I’ve heard Rob say numerous times say that he is a bad boyfriend. To quote him: “Don’t like me, I am a D!ck” (you heard it too) So when I listen to this song it makes me think of that…specially the “save your soul” part. Ahhhh the sweet Heartbreak.

    • I seem to think the song is about Sam’s ex-girlfriend. But I could quite possibly be wrong. Just remember seeing a video once where Sam said that the girl the song was about called him recently.

  15. Re: #4-I think Rob probably had to sign his life away when he signed on for the movies, much like selling selling your soul to Satan. Summit= Satan.

    I cringe when I see some particularly crappy piece of Twi-merch , thinking “poor Rob. Could he ever have guessed his face would be on a candy wrapper/ pajamas/ crappy jewelry etc.” The funniest part is that on all of these things he’s doing the Edward glare, while shilling for Sweethearts or whatever.

    Is the Edward Ken doll really anatomically correct??

    • @dazzled, let’s go find out! I heard they come out in November, just in time for Christmas! Yeah!

  16. I’m confursed…if these are his nine mistakes…why are there 10.5 of them?

    Do you tutor?

    • hahahahaah

    • I noticed that too!! I see 10.5 but you said “Top NINE mistakes.” I’m a math major who wants to teach and this is pretty upsetting, but hilarious at the same time. Love you ladies anyway! Happy 9 months yesterday!!!

    • YOU WIN the eagle eye reader of the day award!!!!!!!!!! you caught my other “mistake”

      HAHAHAHAHAHA

  17. #9: Rob mentioned everyone hating him and calling him “ugly” when they saw a pic of him when they announced he was to play Edward. Was it from this show? I wouldn’t hate, but he’s not looking his prettiest. Plus, seeing only his head, he kinda looks like a midget/dwarf…

    • you: i know what you are
      josh groban: say it, say it out loud!
      you: a fake opera singer!

      (i kid i kid cause i love!)

  18. Here’s the thing. I’m actually pretty happy with this egregious mistake on the part of LTR. It led me to “if-you’ve-never-seen-it-it’s-new-to-you” pictures of the Rob-let (Mullet-son?) which have just about made my week.

    Seriously, how many mullets are used in movies these days? I can already count two too many.

    I agree with xylem44, as I was beginning my enlightenment (post-awareness of Rob, pre-discovery of LTR) I youtubed the shit out of him, and pretty much loved it all.

    And I love you, Moon, for being able to admit your mistakes, make it hilarious, and use “that’s what she said” oh, about 40 times in one post.

    P.S. A nine month mistake, eh? There is definitely some ‘I want to have Rob’s baby” subliminal messaging, or subconscious thought going on, and I LOVE it!

    • heh heh heh 9 month mistake! surprise everyone im pregnant with robs love child!!!!!!!!!! thats the big announcement!

  19. http://www.robertisbothered.com
    So awesome. 😀

  20. LOL. I laughed for a long time when I saw Rob’s mullet! Why see, if he had that hairstyle right now, he and Kstew would be perfect! JK

    I love these mistakes, makes him more endearing and I love him more for that. He seems so naive and gullible sometimes, makes me just want to grab him and take him home, and you know (ahem) make him chocolate chip cookies and milk. 🙂

    I too have been scratching my head as to why, why why he had to die in Harry Potter! I always skip that scene, I don’t want him to die, :-(. Also, wth Rob, you totally missed Ashley. She’s gorgeous and she seems like a really sweet girl! I mean look at her? Ughhh. I like Katie Leung too, she is very sophisticated.

    As far as the merchandise….well I have a Twilight blanket, I don’t mind that his face is on there.

    • He had to die in Harry Potter because Ms. Rowling needed someone sort of close to Harry to die to prepare readers for all the coming deaths. It had been bubblegum and love (not really but compare it to the end) until that point.

      Sad.

      • Thanks for explaining. I only saw this one movie basically to see him so I haven’t really been following the HP series. Now I understand :-).

        But Cedric was just too handsome to be killed off! Oh well…

      • Not that this site is for HP discussions- but I also think Cedric was killed off because he was everything that Harry wanted to be- but couldn’t. I mean that in that he had Cho, he was “normal”, had a father who was alive and loved him, and he wasn’t facing evil every other week. When Cedric died it was like all of the hope that Harry had for having a normal life died too and suddenly his fate was absolutely clear. Voldemort was attacking innocence and only someone with as dark a past as Harry could face him. End rant.

        • Wow, that’s a good explanation. I had to turn it over the other day though because I couldn’t watch him die!!

        • Good explanation.

          I need to find somewhere to discuss HP.

          It is my first true love.

          Rob is beautiful though.

          : )

        • That’s a good explanation…sad though. Thank you so much. I can’t believe I missed Rob all this time. I had no idea he even existed til Twilight. 😦

        • That’s such a great explanation. I had never thought of it like that before but it makes complete sense. Thank you.

  21. His mullet should meet KStew’s mullet, they could totally be twinners now! (I say this with sarcasm)

    This has got to be the ultimate best “that’s what she said” reference ever:
    “We love Dick (um, that’s what she said?)”

  22. Darn clothes. Well what I wouldn’t give to be able to dress him up. I hate those clothes that he’s wearing, especially the one from this weekend, I think he and Kris went to a concert. I want him to look GOOD, not that he isn’t good-looking but the icing needs to sorta match the cake! But I know underneath it’s him so that’s what I focus on. Still, he needs better clothes, shoes and accesories. I think I can do a good job. I’m the one who buys my husband’s clothes and my brother asks me for fashion advice all the time (he ain’t gay btw). Maybe I should apply to be his personal assistant or his stylist!

    • Wow, I’m so unpopular today. All my posts got a thumbs down. LOL

      • Robert just doesn’t like the idea of a stylist, that’s all ;). Stop being a wuss Rob! A real man accepts help when he needs it.

        • preach!!

  23. So when I go shopping recently, it looks as if plaid flannel threw up in the mall.

    Is it just me, or does anyone else think that maybe, just maybe, Rob singlehandedly had something to do with this trend?

    Let’s ponder…

  24. 10 months, 9 months, whatever! Happy Anniversary and here’s to many more months.

    The aforementioned award acceptance speech makes me CRINGE!

    I wholeheartedly agree with #1. I am here ready, willing and able to beg for more Rob music.

    Can someone tell me, is it 100% certain he will not have a song on the New Moon soundtrack?

    • i think its been confirmed he’s not on the NM soundtrack. it’s also been confirmed there is no god.

      • *sobs* I was afraid of that. 😦

  25. So many “that’s what she said’s” today – you may have made my morning.

    As much as I love his wild mane, there’s something hot about seeing him in that beat up Yankees hat… Could be cause I’m a Jersey girl though 😉

    Also, that pic of him with the beefeater hat on? That facial expression cracks me up every. single. time. Seriously – what is he looking at like that?! Maybe it was his first sighting of Pattinson Pants…

    • dude i was writing and i kept going “thats what she said” hahahah so dirtay!

      also that nascar/beefeater pic cracks me up like no other. its like clare caught him looking at a playboy or something. and yes, i plan to just continue adding things to that pic!

      • Ha! I love that Nascar one. I should print and blow it up for DH. Actually I showed it to him. I tricked him, I said: “See honey, you and Rob have something in common! ” He was like: “Oh, that is photoshopped isn’t it?” LOL!!!

      • “its like clare caught him looking at a playboy or something”

        HAHAHAHA DEAD. ON. And then asked him (in front of his friends, no less) to stop blowing his nose in his socks because it’s difficult to get out in the laundry.

        (seriously, I laughed way too loud at that… my work hates me)

  26. Robley!!!

    • TammyO must be lurking today! LOL

      • Damnit, I hate when she lurks. Or it’s Summit giving me thumbs down.

      • TammyO is definitely lurking… there are so many thumbs-downs (especially whenever someone mentions Kristen or her terrible mullet).

        Where is the love people?! Freedom of speech all the way! Down with the mullet(s) and up with the Robley!

  27. “I don’t want to grow up. I’m a Toys-r-us kid.” The true sign of maturity? Admitting when you make a mistake! [Take it back quick!] But on the bright side, next month you can dust yesterday’s entry off and post it again! We’ll think we’re experiencing deja vu and everybody digs that, right?

  28. Ok, so the hats are totally being worn due to sympathy pains…..you know it ain’t good when your hair looks better than your girlfriends…..I am guessing it is like when the wifey/girlfriend is preggo…..same sitch. I am now voting team Robley all the way. Ummmm, sometimes I have to admit I think his bad fashion is kind of adorable….I mean he is definitely in need of a good scrub down…..I totally volunteer….the line starts behind me ladies. 🙂 Lastly, I agree I am dying for more music….I am such a music nerd anyway…..being a music major will do it to you everytime….I will totally sign up for groveling time…..don’t worry I will bring the knee pads ladies.

    ps…..did anyone see those pics of him leaving the Bobby Long concert from the other night…..ummmm, are they even FEEDING him….he looks like he lost like 25 pounds….it made me really sad….mullet obviously does NOT do the body good. 😦

    • one more thing…..please…..I BEG OF YOU….no more child modeling pictures…..that thing makes me want poke my eyes out! sicknast.

      • I second that obird. where’s the brain bleach?

    • I noticed the weight loss too! That made me so sad, thinking of what he’s eating and how no one’s taking care of him :-(. He looked a lot healthier when he was filming Remember Me. He also looks sad in the new pictures I’ve seen. Poor baby!

      Rob what the heck is going on? Please take care of yourself. I’ll bring you homecooked meals and cookies and cakes if I could.

      • I think Robbie needs a care package from the LTR/LTT crowd…..what do ya think….I will take one for the team and hand deliver it! Seriously….he looked so much healthier and happy in the summer and that is not saying much because he was supposedly miserable while in NYC….poor guy. 😦

        • Obird, yeah let’s have a care package. I have his agent’s address in CA. Not sure how soon he’ll get it though. Hand delivering it would be great if that’s possible.

          I want Rob to look healthy and happy again! Makes me wonder what else is going on in Vancity.

        • Well my comment dissapeared…so I’m back.

          @Obird yeah I’d love to send a care package. Remember how I sent him a shirt before? I mentioned it here a while back. Anyway, I agree, hand delivering would be the best way to do it :-). I just want Rob to look healthy and happy again u know? Makes me wonder what the heck is going on there in Vancity. It’s just so weird that so many women swoon over him and yet he looks so pale and unhealthy lately, uncared for poor Rob. He needs help.

          Sorry my wifey and motherly instincts are taking over. However Rob is still a hot tamale to me.

          • @Southernbelle…..Ok, so it is decided that we will together hand deliver said care package! He just needs some lovin’ in addition to hot pockets, cigarettes, and beer. I am from the south as well, so we will just bring him some “southern comfort”….hehehe. I hope they take care of him up there….sheesh. 🙂

          • @Obird where are you from? I’m in Kentucky. “Southern comfort” are we thinking of the same thing? Are we still talking of food here? LOL.

            Hey we got lots of fatty food here in our area(you know how we like everything deep-fried)…so between you and me we can sure fatten Rob up! Haha!

          • @southernbelle…..I am now in NYC, but I moved here last year from Nashville…aka Nashyvegas! Went to Univ. of Alabama for undergrad….ROLL TIDE….so I am southern through and through!!

            Oh, yes…..for sure talking about food….wink, wink….obird leaves to go get knee pads…..uh, what??? just kidding…..no not really.

            🙂

          • @Obird -wow what a big difference isn’t it? Nashville to NYC? My daughter’s godmother is from there, been to NYC a few times.

            You are southern through and through!

            Knee pads? Ah now you’re talking down and dirty! LOL. Gititdone!

  29. That’s a Bearskin worn by regiments of the Queen’s Grenadiers and Guards.
    A Beefeater is a Yeoman Warder and their hats look like this-

    By the way, who is Rob Pattinson?

    • i believe i love you John

      • Thanks unintendedchoice…um…the feeling’s mutual…[tiptoes out]…

        • “Thanks unintendedchoice…um…the feeling’s mutual…[tiptoes out]… ”

          Oh John,

          You come in here, clearly by accident, and yet, you bring the funny. You are always welcome here!

          You may or may not know this, but your post just now…that’s chock full O’ WIN!

          This is what I love about LTR. I don’t just get schooled on Rob, I learn about the world, and more specifically, the millinery habits of British Royal Guards.

        • Ladies:
          Lets all give John some luv….
          (kissies to you babe for joining us all in the mosh pit of robbiness).

          -xH

      • I hope John comes back to visit every day!! 🙂 hehe!

    • HAHAHA. Best. Comment. Ever. I think you have found a new entry for “How You Found Us.”

    • whoa.

    • John, If you need an education.. you’ve come to the right place…You’ll get the answer to more then just WHO? Grap a seat my friend.. the entertainment’s just beginning

      • Right Kelly…um…I think I understand… it’s just that the fascination[?] of a blog based on a series of imaginary letters to an imaginary character/obscure actor is slightly beyond my powers of comprehension – actually slightly beyond my powers of imagination…

    • Who doesn’t love a Beefeater? 😉

      • Amen…

      • Hmmm.. where’s the BEEF!

    • HAHAHAHAHA well john tell that to google image search they have it labeled wrong, the jerks!

      and besides a beefeater makes for a better joke than say a “Bearskin worn by regiments of the Queen’s Grenadiers and Guards”

      doesnt quite work with a “thats what she said” zinger.

      oh well we love you anyway!

      • Bearskin = Bare Skin = That’s What She Said

      • Ahem…likewise.

        P.S. is this blog for real?

        • Oh it is very real. Ten, I mean 9 months of being real, and being normal.

        • It depends on what you mean by “for real”…

          If you’re asking “is this blog as awesome and hilarious as I THINK it is?” Then yes, yes it is for real. Welcome to the party.

          ❤ you "John"

        • It’s very real and completely NORMAL! ;D

  30. Love this post – thanks and happy 9th!

  31. Moon i love you for saying ‘that’s what she said’ a million times. And for saying top nine things and included 10.5 I think that’s a mistake. Maybe it’s not. but we’ll just roll with it.

    LOVES

    • the whole post was a big thats what she said moment NEEDING to happen

      and why yes i was NOT a math major in college. i wrote down my ideas and then forgot to whittle it down to 9. i was distracted by “the precious”

  32. Oh Math, there you go, being all tricky again….(anyone else remember the talking Barbie that said ‘Math is hard.’? We quote her a lot around here)

    Any way, Happy howevermany month anniversary, and I totally agree with your list, though I sort of like the dad clothes, I think they are hilarious. Maybe it is because I am a bit of a fogey……

    Still heart you all lots,
    xoxo

    • I only remember the “Math is hard” from the girl that was taking Grace’s blood on that one episode of Will & Grace…or it is some variation of it.

      But funny nonetheless.

    • Thanks to the Barbie comment, I can now feel like I belong! I’m too damn young to be a cougar…

  33. Would you be willing to create the Top 10 (or Top 100… whatever) RobPorn? I’d help sift through all of them. It’d be a tough job, but I’d be willing to sacrifice.

    • Way to take one for the team.

      • I’m a giver. But Rob knows that already.

        • Haha! Well played.

        • TOUCHE!!!!!!!!!!!

          (thats like 10 thumbs up for that)

      • If there are 100’s isn’t that like taking 100’s for the team and in turn… well that would make you…

        TEAM CAPTAIN!

        HEHE 😀

        • Yesssssss! I will make you all proud!

  34. I hate to admit it, but I’m currently in a WTF-Rob-Mode.

    Those pictures taken of him with that white baseball cap. His face seems paler and thinner with that thing on. Accept for scolding him for wearing that stupid thing, I just want to feed him…

    That line “hold on tight spider monkey” is the reason I have to keep my finger on the fast-forward button so I can skip it when that moment nears. And I quote:
    “You. Really.Shouldn’t. Have. Said. That.”

  35. Well, well, well…
    If you girls read our comments you wouldn’t make that mistake. Just saying.

    https://letterstorob.wordpress.com/2009/09/07/happy-labor-day-rob-and-ltr/

    • i went back after i figured it out to see if anyone guessed and thats now i found out! so i did read the comments!

  36. I love you and your “Fuzzy” math!

    Keep doing these lists! They are hilarious 🙂 Tomorrow’s top 9 list, disguised as 10.5 should be the top 9 things Rob has done Right, if you know what I’m sayin’!

    Congrats on 9 months anyway!

    • “Fuzzy” math

      You might want to have a doctor look at that… maybe a cream or ointment is needed 🙂

      • Rob is now the cure for “fuzzy” math too! Get me that ointment! (That’s what she said)

  37. Brilliance. This needs to be tweeted to all the Real Twitter accounts when I get wasted on Friday. It just does.

  38. “Please go with something ULTRA British like a Beefeater (thats what she said) guard hat. I mean no one’s gonna bother you then cause they’ll think you’re on duty. Or just plain batshit crazy.”

    Thanks guys. My monitor almost got a coffee bath.

    I think we all can forgive you your math skills. At least I can, I was home-schooled after all. Loves:)

  39. If you’ve only been around for nine months instead of ten, then I have been reading since you were only two weeks old. Yay. I have to count up the months on my fingers to remember how old my daughter is, so…yeah…’math is hard.’

    Most of Rob’s mistakes only make him hotter. Except that modeling pic. Yech! Oh and I think you forgot one…THE TUCK! How could you guys leave that one off the list? C’MON, ladies!

    Still ❤ you.

  40. The beefeater hat??? LMAO!!!

    I think Robley would be adorable! (And KStew nicknamed “The Mullet” classic!)

    There are a lot of RobBooBoos… the misbuttoning of his shirt, his pants not folded correctly, you have just hit the tip of the iceberg with this post.

    But, in reality, we all know it doesn’t matter what boo-boos Rob does, it makes him all the more endearing to us.

    • ARe you from Washington, DC? I am…..or am I missing something?

  41. Love the post today.. and hey.. no worries being able to count effectively is highly overrated!

  42. OMG! I love that you have the Beefeater in this post! That’s all I’ve read so far and it is already GOLD! It amazes me that someone else has wiki’d that shit. The things we do when bored.

  43. Does this means that we’ll have a whole lot more top 10’s next month? *hint* *hint* 🙂

    xoxo

  44. Because it has to be said (and I quote movies A LOT!)

    ‘Excuse me Dick.. I mean Rich.. do you know that Rob is raiding your wardrobe?’

  45. This was hilarious! Celebrating Rob’s mistakes is the best way to start a new day!

    I love Rob’s imperfections… they just make him more perfect in my eyes! His verbal diarrhea, his messy hair, his lack of fashion… He’s real and not a poster boy.

    I have a sneaking suspicion you all feel the same. 🙂

  46. lmao, that spider-monkey vid was awesome

    and don’t worry ladies! everyone makes mistakes! my boyfriend forgot the alphabet the other day.. he’s 20.. it was great lol

  47. Ten months, nine months, whatevs. You guys are still awesome, bad maths and all. ❤ yous.

  48. 9, 10 months who cares as long as we get many more months to come!
    As mistakes go, I don’t feel that Rob has made any that he can’t bounce back from (except in GOF. Cedric was good but he ain’t that good)

    The hats work for me. It makes him a little less beautiful. I can actually stop looking at him and get something constructive done.

    I absolutely agree with obird regarding his weight. At his current weight most of the things I want to do to, and with him could seriously cause him damage unless he gets his strength up. Rob, for cripes sake, eat a sandwich!!!

    As to his music, put me down to beg, borrow, steal, pole dance, ANYTHING to get more of it!!!

  49. Rob’s 9 mistakes? In not doing any of the following with me:

    1) Against the tree by the meadow

    2) Feel his full weight on top of me

    3) French kiss

    4) See him naked

    5) Shower together

    6) Against the cold tiles in the shower

    7) In his car

    8) On our lab table

    9) On his leather couch

    x

    • I love that your number 8 came out as a smiley with shades on, like doing on the labe table is the coolest way to do it.

      • Labe??! LAB.

    • OMG!! My favorite Fan Fiction Edward is from “The List”. My personal favorite thing on the list, role playing “Vampire”. Loved that scene…Up against his bedroom door…OME

    • Aaaahhhhh. The list!!
      Good fan fic!

  50. OK. I have a confession to make here. I kinda like the black leather jacket. I do not like it lined up next to the brown crayon-seller (as we so nicely describe a flasher in Dutch) coat. Apart from that, I love you.

    • I like the black leather jacket too! He’s cute when he wears it, too. Like a little boy imitating his idols (black leather jacket + beanie = jack nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, brown coat = marlon brando in Last Tango in Paris)

      • OMG. You’re so right! He’s such a sneaky fanboy, following the complete get-the-Jack-look.

    • HAHAHAHA a “brown crayon seller” OMG!!!

    • Uhmm, why’d you make it a crayon-seller? I thought it was a pencil-seller?
      Ah, whatevs. Crayon-seller sounds cool!


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