Posted by: Bekah | August 26, 2009

We interrupt your Rob-time for an important message

To our amazing LTR gals,

I know we don’t do this often- stray from the topic of our site- but I came across this important health message that we really felt like we had to take the time to share. We’ve gotten to know so many of you and feel like we have a certain influence over your lives, so we thought we’d share this vital announcement- because there’s nothing more important than our health. Without our health, how could we wait patiently behind a dumpster amidst all those germs for as long as needed without getting terribly sick? You see the importance, I know you do.

Just looking out for ya,
UC & Moon

~ Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
~ Do you suffer from shyness?
~ Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
~ Do you wish you spend all your time online?
~ Do you desire to long for someone you want so bad but will never have?
~ Do you have an affinity for British accents and dandruff?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Robert Pattinson.

bekah

Click for good times

Robert Pattinson is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Robert Pattinson can help ease you out of your shyness pants and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything (with him). Robert Pattinson will teach you the best ways to produce handfuls of your very own dandruff. You will notice the benefits of Robert Pattinson almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses (ahem) you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live that Kristen Stewart is potentially currently living (minus the mullet and the attitude.) Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had: binge drinking, drunk tweeting/chatting/texting, karaoke singing, video making, etc.

Stop hiding and start living, with Robert Pattinson.

Robert Pattinson may not be right for everyone. Women who do not wish to become pregnant should not have Robert Pattinson. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try Robert Pattinson. Robert Pattinson may not be suitable for you if you do not approve of borrowing clothes, plaid, Dutch beers, hot pockets or lack of personal hygiene.

Side effects may include:

– Dizziness
– Nausea
– Vomiting
– Erotic lustfulness
– Loss of motor control
– Desire to remove clothing
– Loss of virginity
– Loss of fan fic virginity
– Smoking habit
– Addiction to Twitter
– Sudden urges to find a dumpster
– Table dancing
– Obsessive scouring of the internet for news related to Robert Pattinson
– Hatred of women with mullets
– Headache
– Drinking an obscene amount of liquids.
– Sex hair addiction
– Willingness to drive, fly or travel anywhere in the world to meet with fellow sufferers

WARNINGS:

~ Robert Pattinson can make you think smoking is sexy.
~ Robert Pattinson may result in the loss of your marriage
~ Robert Pattinson will cause you to lose your real life friends & family
~ Becoming involved with Robert Pattinson could potentially give your sex life a major boost, until the moment when Robert Pattinson causes you yell out “Thank you Robert Pattinson” during a moment of passion with someone other than Robert Pattinson.

Please share this with other women who may need Robert Pattinson.

Discuss YOUR symptoms over at The Forum
Read Moon go all Carrie Bradshaw on us over on LTT

Thanks to Kristin who first sent me this women’s health message (although it was about Margaritas) & for helping with the changes. As well as Moon. Cuz you rule. And for my new package of Singulair, for the inspiration with the Rob Rx picture.

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Responses

  1. I’m pretty sure this is covered by my insurance. Yay!

    Hilarious ladies.

    oink

  2. Where can I get Robert Pattinson? Is it currently available in the U.S. or do I have to go to Canada?

    I’m willing to risk the side effects-this sounds like just what I need. I’m even willing to be a guinea pig, if this isn’t FDA-approved. Dandruff, a chain-smoking habit, plaid-if this will cure my ills NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.

    Hialrious post UC-more proof that Rob inspiration can be found anywhere, even on a box of asthma medication.

    • that’s hilarious.I can spell but I can’t type.

    • watch out- there’s a generic out there (i think it’s called Xavier Samuels) and it’s NOT the same thing….

      • LMAO!

      • But it will sure tide you over until you get the real thing.

        I wouldn’t mind a sample of Xavier.

        Gimme a hit!

        😛

        • we’re the dealers of said drug… come around to the back door and i’ll slip you a prescription.

          @uc generic!! I DIED!

          • I’m RUNNING to the back door right now!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • BURN!!!

    • Do you think my doctor would be worried if I brought in that photo and said, “I need this.”

      Maybe I should bring it to my gyno…

  3. It that a parrot on his shoulder? Please tell me you did NOT put a parrot on his shoulder. Sneaky marketeer!

    • i googled “Colorful bird” and place it upon his shoulder, yes

    • I don’t get the reference….is this Rob-related or something that is totally going over my head?

      • no it’s completely random. he’s kinda skipping through a meadow.. so i though it was appropriate!

        • Rob with a parrot on his shoulder reminds me of the guy I passed in the street last week that also had a parrot on his shoulder and that whispered to me “hello, beautiful” as I passed him, in a totally creepy way. (For a full account of the encounter, see http://notanaddikt.blogspot.com/2009/08/sometimes-weird-random-stuff-happens.html) Now if that ever happens again, that’ll make me think of Rob! And so I have found yet another way of linking stuff around me to Rob. Thanks UC & Moon!

        • Good to know. I worried it was a reference to some random interview where he answered a question with “hmm, oh, I dunno, hmm, wow, I dunno…a parrot on my shoulder?”

          Then, after yesterday’s LTT totally awesome comments debacle, I got concerned that you were being a bitch again about Kristen, and I wasn’t going to let that sneak by all your newbie “fans”.

          *points two fingers at own eyes, then points them at UC’s eyes*

          I’m watching you.

          Lol….that last part doesnt really fit, but I’ve always wanted to do that.

          Again, totally in lurve with this post, y’all, and of course, Rob-ulair!!

      • Happy people always have colorful birds. It’s this thingy…

    • dude the parrots the best part!!! i was dying. looks like he’s tripping on acid (or robert pattinson) in a field with a parrot

      • Yes, The bird killed me too! He still does…hahaha

  4. I have been following LTT and LTR..well not long after you girls started and I must say..I think this may be your finest blog/letter to date.

    So having said that……

    Can I please just have a trial size Robert Pattenson..
    Just a weekends worth and I shall be happy!

    Brummie

    • trial size robbie!!!! great idea. we need to make friends w/ a rep from the Rx company that sells Robert Pattinson. Maybe she can hook us all up with free samples…

      • so is the trial size pocket edward, or creepy zygote rob from the creepy fashion ads?

      • yes, just a trial-sized sample for a one-night stand. LOL

  5. Warning:

    Your husband may find your secret stash of robporn on the computer and kindly rename the folder for you as “Stupid Robshit”……but at least he had the sense not to delete it and I know why.

    Great posting gals.

    x

    • Hahaha. Was the folder originally titled Robporn? Mine is called “PMS survival tips”. That keeps them out.

      • HAHA HA!! I call my folder the order of the sparkle peen! he has no idea what itis and because it says peen he acts lik eif he looks in it he might be admitting he’s gay. Loved it girls!

    • omg your husband is so cool, I have to delete everything before he gets home from work…he has had ENOUGH of my Robsession…the other day I bought a magazine for $9.95, he asked me about it….I lied and said it was a recipie magazine, but it was Robporn…

      Moon + UC:
      Rob has a twitter account?!? Are you following him? How can we make sure that it’s not some poser and if you know his twitter account, I want it too 🙂 Also if I find stuff on the web and I want to send it to you, can you please send me your email so I can forward it to you. I know I ask stupid questions, and for my age I should know more about computers….but I don’t. call the cops.

      • no rob doesn’t have twitter!
        our email is letterstotwilight@gmail.com

        • thanks
          x
          misty

      • My husband is at the end of his rope too. The other day he asked our 4 yr old who my BF was and she said “Edward, of course daddy.” He then told her that I loved Edward more then him ans she said “yeah, I know.” OMFG

        Between my Robsession and my insatiable appetite for fanfic I think he’s about to smash my laptop and call an attorney =X

        • Just remember, “you are not alone”

          x

      • Misty

        My husband realises that if he ever wants a good time again “ifyouknowwhatimsayin”, it is best to leave any “robshit” on the computer……

        x

  6. Do you have anything to cure a KStew infestation?

    • yes its called Breaking Dawn…

      just fyi..I lurv Robsten lol but have no grand illusions of happily ever after for them sadly after filiming wraps.

      • HAHAHAHAHa the cure is breaking dawn! todays comments are SO win!

        another cure might be a shower and a loofah

      • FOR. THE. WIN!!!!!! Breaking Dawn…..hahahahahaha! I am dying!!!

    • I just snorted coffee out of my nose….

      And it was very hot…

  7. Brill! I work for a pharma company and I wish this was in our pipeline. I would totes be in the trial!

    • LOL, I work for a pharma company too and I will definitely be looking into our pipeline to see if this is in the works!

    • By they way, I wonder what the dosage for Robert Pattinson would be… 3 times daily for the rest of your existence? I could handle that

      • It’s QHS, as needed!

  8. You forgot one very important side effect:

    May cause vaginal wetness.

    • WILL cause vaginal wetness. In not, see your doctor immediately.

      • Yeah, to increase the dosage! HAHA!

    • Hahahahah! WIN! For everyone!

    • @ Vag wetness.
      ohhhh.. yuck.. and I was noshing on a bit of left over lunch..
      puuuke..

      • Yeah, I learned my lesson – never eat while reading this site.

  9. “Robert Pattinson can make you think smoking is sexy.”

    I shared this link in the flat yesterday, but there is effective treatment for this. Whenever you start enjoying the smoking a bit too much, refer to the photos provided by the Twilight Widower: http://twilightwidower.blogspot.com/2009/05/knowing-when-to-step-in.html

    • Personally, I’ve always found men smoking to be sexy. Check my avatar…sexiest photo in the history of photography. I may or may not have ripped it out of GQ and hung it near my bed. It could possibly be the bad boy thing.

      It’s also funny that the twi-widower only gave Rob 4 years before he looks like Keith Richards.

      • I may or may not have had it printed up professionally, only to find out that I’m not allowed to have pictures of people smoking on my desk at work. So it’s at home now.

        • what the crap kind of work rule is THAT?!! obviously they need a higher dose of RP

        • What the hell kind of rule is that? The only way that makes sense to me is if you work for some sort of anti-smoking organization. Or if your boss is trying to quit after a 30-year 4-pack-a-day habit and any little thing will set him/her off.

        • Maybe she’s an elementary school teacher.

      • I agree – I have always found guys smoking incredibly sexy. Sometimes I don’t like myself for it, but I can’t fight who I am.

        BTW I may or may not have the pic as my desktop background at work right now…

      • What is it that makes it so damn – hot? My husband, who smoked a cigar about once every couple months, now does at least weekly. He figured out how turned on I get when he pulls out the Swisher Sweets or even a Marlboro. It’s bad. I don’t want him or RP to die early, but it’s just.so.hot.

      • Totally!! This is an absolutely beautiful photograph, period. LOVE it.

    • Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it doesn’t LOOK sexy. Hell, Rob could probably make vomiting look sexy, I’m just saying the Keith Richards photo tends to pull me back to earth.

      Oink, I find the Rob to Keith timeline to be the biggest the funniest part. =)

  10. OMG this is so what I needed this morning…Thanks for the laugh girls!

  11. You must remember when asking your doctor for this presecription to inform him/her that no substitutions or generics are allowed!

    We don’t want a generic Robert Pattinson prescription, you could end up with Zac Efron, Chase Crawford or Xavier Samuel. (While I would gladly take any of these prescriptions, ok maybe not Zefron, they are still no substitute for Rob!)

    • hahha, no generics please! We want the real thing! I’ll pay big bucks for it! LOL

  12. OME.
    That is effing HILAR!
    LOL!

    xox

  13. This is so good!!!! Wow, give me some of that!

    “side effect:-Sudden urges to find a dumpster”

    Haha, thanks to y’all now everytime I see a dumpster, I thinf of Rob!

    Anyway I think you should add shortness of breath/difficulty breathing and heart palpitations to the side effects! Because Robert Pattinson gives me those side effects! 🙂

  14. I can live with any side effects without any problems. I’m more concerned that the disease continues to grows and get worst without this good, proper, perfect medicine.

    I have some questions about the medicine:

    – Where can I buy online?
    – there is a special rate for shipments outside the U.S.?
    – can I get some form of promotion like 2×1?
    – Some special package that includes either TomStu, Bobby, Jackson or someone? (except women with mullets)

    Again, awesome post !!!!! hilarious!

    Girls!!! you rock!

    • Yes, for ladies impervious to the sound of only one British accent, and for ladies who are already from the British Isles, there is now new and improved, double strength edition:

      It comes with special coating for ease of ingestion.

      (sorry, photoshop is on the old puter which I couldn’t be bothered with so this was done on a crappy McPowerPoint)

      • Oh crap, the image didn’t post! Here’s the link anyway.. (what a downer)

    • Ooo, I’ll take the Rob/Bobby package, please…

  15. Win. Total win.

    <— Still laughing.

  16. STAY STRONG! NO FAN-FIC. Or, as I call it, “Faux-Fic.” It’s lame. It’s Le Ghey. It’s a side-effect you can avoid, totally.

    BE PURE!

    *Like y’all, I strayed from the topic at hand. I just feel strongly about the fan-fic. If y’all were REAL fans of the Twilight Saga, it would be enough for you. Fill in the Isle Esme “fade to black” with your own imaginations. Seriously.

    • Wasn’t there an LTR post about REAL Rob fans?

    • proceed directly over to LTT to read the definition of ‘real fan’

      ps: we BOTH are occasional dabblers in fan fic

      now go sun bathe

    • :-O Lula!

      There’s no need to be mean about the Fan Fic. Yes, please proceed over to LTT to read about Fans.

      To each their own.

      🙂

    • Leigh Anne, this was sooooo out of left field. I think some of the fan fic authors are some of the biggest fans. Loving the characters so much, imagining new destinies, obstacles, hardships, love.

      I’m really disappointed to see you make such a close-minded comment.

      However, I still ❤ you, even if you just lost some major fan points. 😉

      No flying first class on AirROB for you! 🙂

    • Stephenie, is that you?

      • lol, my sides hurt!!!

  17. UC! Yay! It turned out really well!

    LOVE the dandruff lines. Still laughing. Just what I needed today, at home with a sick kid and rain clouds so dark it looks like night..sigh…

    I love UC and Moon ALMOST as much as I love Rob. ❤

    • It is all kinds of pitch black in Fremont!

    • almost!

  18. I’ve been reading y’all since January and I must say this is, by far, the BESTEST post ever!!!

    I wish I could find the manip of Rob that says something like; “Robert Pattinson: Who you turn into when your wife/girlfriend closes her eyes”

    That should be a warning so men don’t take this product. What would we do if they all turned ghey for Rob? We would have no stand-in peen!

    • ‘I wish I could find the manip of Rob that says something like; “Robert Pattinson: Who you turn into when your wife/girlfriend closes her eyes”’: It was on LTR a few days ago: https://letterstorob.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/becomerob.jpg

      • Thanks Darls! I couldn’t remember where I saw it and of course, I should have known it was here> *Rob’s voice* DUH!

  19. I just wanted to add that I think Robert Pattinson might still be in clinical trials…..the FDA should decide soon if it is safe for the masses…..just kidding couldn’t resist! I do have a few other side effects to add:

    1. You will have an overwhelming desire to find and wear a Members Only jacket….or any other brand of “Dad Jacket”.
    2. You will have to run out and trade your iphone in for a hip and cool Jitterbug phone…..only the best for Mr. Pattinson
    3. Put away those veggies…..it will only be hot pockets and beer from here on out. The healthy stuff will cause adverse effects that should not be discussed.
    4. You will have a very strong desire to cut your hair into a greasy mullet…..DON’T do it…..resist the urge…..trust me he will thank you in the end.

    Robert Pattinson is the cure all for pretty much anything…..so use it responsibly and ENJOY!!

    Such an amazing post!

    🙂

    • oh and dont forget:

      5. you will have a strong urge to wear crappy shoes, please talk to your doctor if you have any these symptoms as this may lead to life altering affects

      • crappy shoes!!! Hahaha! Yes, you will fo sho want to wear black orthopedic wonders!!! 🙂

  20. This killed me. You are amazing.
    That is all.

  21. this is solid gold.

  22. He is a panacea, with plenty of off label uses. We just have to await FDA approval. There may be too black box warnings though (sudden cardiac death, mass hysteria, etc).

    Having some Robert Pattinson would benefit my patients greatly, or at the very least decrease my census so my morning twilight blog fix can be pursued uninterrupted. Maybe I could even get some kickbacks (a flannel shirt or dirty baseball cap) for prescribing from the drug reps.

  23. My insurance just got changed and unfortunately name brand prescriptions are like $60 for a month supply. Since we are in a recession I was wondering if there was a generic.

    Maybe a Kellan Lutz that I can get for $10?

    • Awww..come on now..you know Kellan would be at least in the middle tier program (if you have the kind of insurance I have)…He’s at least $30..did you see those pics of him running!! That MAN has a set of ba… and pe… (Ups..I mean “he has a nice physique”). I think I’m in luuuuuvvve LOL not really.

      He’s nice to look at and all but has such a baby face and doesn’t drip with sexuality and manliness like our Rob does. Did I just say “our” Rob?

    • Oooooo…..I would TOTALLY take me some Kellan Lutz…..mmmmm! 😉 Although he comes with some side effects too:

      1. You might only want to wear “white wife beater tank tops” and jeans.

      2. You WILL want to spend HOURS and HOURS in the gym. ugh. BUT, Kellan Lutz will be your lunge buddy, so who the hell cares!

      3. You will have to share him with all the twi-fans because he will be attending every single twilight function known to man on planet earth.

      4. Lastly, you will have to attend Bible study. nuff said.

      See…..this could be a GREAT generic alternative…..but still not the same!

      🙂

      • Agreed!! I can take the side effects from both!!

      • Ok…maybe he would be the middle tier at $30 and we probably do have the same insurance!

        As for the side effect of the gym…that one also comes with stretching.

        Yeah, I’m ok with that.

        • Hell Yeah!!! Stretching..Epic win!!

  24. “Robert Pattinson may not be right for everyone. Women who do not wish to become pregnant should not have Robert Pattinson. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try Robert Pattinson. Robert Pattinson may not be suitable for you if you do not approve of borrowing clothes, plaid, Dutch beers, hot pockets or lack of personal hygiene.”

    First drug where I don’t mind the side effects! LOL!

    This is all kinds of epic win! I think this is my favorite post next to “Dear Claire” and all the photos of Rob looking dead, drunk, etc….

    What happens if we overdose? Wrist sucking in a ballet studio?

    • Clinical trials indicate that you can not have too much Robert Pattinson.

  25. Hilarious post today, ladies!!

    Additional warnings:

    May cause panty explosion.
    May cause spontaneous orgasms (yes, please!)

  26. The warnings are my favorite part. Total win UC.

  27. Yes, I will be posting this on my facebook now and then printing that picture. Multiple copies.

    Heart you hard.

  28. I WANT A ROBERT PATTINSON!!!!..
    i just booked my appointment with my DOC…i have all the syptoms and i have been diagnosed ….

    LMAO..u guys are great 8)

  29. Robert Pattinson may not be right for everyone. Women who do not wish to become pregnant should not have Robert Pattinson. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try Robert Pattinson.

    I cannot stop laughing! Good Times!

  30. Ok Girls…I’ve been busting at the seams here (in more ways than one) HA HA. I really think I need a prescription of Robert Pattinson…STAT!!!

    I won’t go into the boring details of my job since I’ve been known to ramble on tenaciously about it but I will say that several times a year we go to trade shows usually around the US. We have one coming up the first of September and I’ve been asked to go…..Can any of you guess where this trade show is being held….anyone??????

    Let me give you some hints (like you need it?)

    1. Not in U.S. this time but very close
    2. I’m FREAKING out

    • Vancity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you beeeoch….you better be a set stalker for us and take loads of pics!!!!! or at least visit rob at his hotel!!!! lucky girl!!!

    • All I have to say is you will not be stalking…..you will be a pro in “keen observation”!! Good luck on your mission…..send pics and reports!! WoooHooo! See, you will have to go to Canada to get your prescription of Robert Pattinson….maybe it will be cheaper! Win. Win.

    • YES…that’s right!!! Vancity here I come. Unfortunately I don’t know a damn thing about “observing” stars. I know I’m staying at The Sutton which is not where they are I believe but on the same street. They are staying at The Sheraton…me thinks. I get there Friday evening (Sept 4th) and leave on Sept 11th..yes I know I have to fly back into the US on Sept 11th…I’m a brave girl..Yeah right. I’m on the Southeast Coast of the US..damn flight will be an all day adventure but at least I pick up 3 hours.

      Ok girls..need help with schooling me on how to sta..observe stars. I have my doubts about seeing Rob since he’s all up in Kristen’s sh*t and both are scared to leave the room with good reason.

      Don’t worry..I’m not crazy and not a screamer (well not in that situation..hehe). I will probably try to be all tough and act like their sh*t stinks just like ours but I really want some pics!!!

      • Oh..one last thing…My company is PAYING for it..Yeah I’ll have to do some work but it’s all good and worth it.

        • Ok….when I met him this summer in NYC I was following (yes, I am pathetic) the onlocationvacations.com website…..I also find that rpattzgps on twitter is pretty good. They give updates daily as to where they are filming the next day…..the rpattzgps usually gives good tips as to where they are “after hours”…..the last tip is to just follow the screaming tweens…..then hang with the cougars in the back….they usually rule and know all! 😉 Good luck!

          PS. I swear I am not crazy…..had to say it! Hahahaha! I am also realizing that I am one step away from “Pattinson Pants”….wow.

          Have fun!

          • Thanks obird, I added Rpattzgps, clever name….

        • Ok, so I tried to respond once and it didn’t work….here is try #2….if this is a repeat….sorry! :0) When I met Mr. Pattinson here in NYC this summer I was following (I am a loser) onlocationvacations.com….just type in Vancity and it should give you updates on what is filming there and where. Also, I follow rpattzgps….I know hilarious right?….on twitter….they are usually good on the 411 for “after hours” fun…..bars, restaurants…the like. I met him at the set and he was super nice, but I had to wait a long time until all the kiddos left. When all else fails just follow the screaming tweens….you will want to die, but there are usually cool cougars hanging in the back and they know all! Good Luck and report back!!!

          I just checked my twitter and here is what olv says today:

          Update: Eclipse may be filming today at WC Blair Pool and Recreation Center 22200 Fraser Highway Langley, BC

          Ps. I totally reread my entry and I want to die a little…..I am one step away from “Pattinson Pants”…..hahahaha!

          • dang….sorry for the double entry….I don’t know what happened 😦

          • Thanks for the tips Obird…I’ll be sure the follow RPattzgps. I’ve seen the OLV one. I know NYC was a much more open shoot that Eclipse is. I’m a cougar so I’ll fit right in with them and make sure to wear ear plugs for the Teentwits. I may want to slap one of them. Now that my daughter is grown (I told you I was a cougar..but to be fair I started early hehe) I don’t tolerate teens very well…HAHA…look what I’m trying to do..its funny.

          • Well I am not a tween or teen, I am married, no kids but at what age is a “cougar”….just wondering for future references of myself…is 30 a cougar???

          • Misty – Nikola Six commented on this Robsessed post that “the 30 somethings are pumas and the 40 somethings are cougars and the 50 somethings are jaguars”. Hope this answered your question. Here’s the link to the entire blog post http://www.robsessedpattinson.com/2009/08/ew-top-25-hotties.html

          • I wanted to be cougar…..damn. Im NOT joking. oh well, 10 more years.

          • hahaha! No, I get it. Cougar sounds sexy!

            Rob’s lucky to have so many ladies (of all ages!) after him! I wish I was in Vancouver and not lame Edmonton. Maybe I’ll make my way over… It’s only a 12-hour drive haha!

  31. Now I know what is happening to me …Thank you…calling my Doctor immediately!

    I least I can feel I am NOT Alone…:o

  32. Ok, I need to make an appt with my dr to get a script! Very funny!

  33. Brilliant. Seriously genius.

  34. This has to be the funniest post you guys have ever done! Bravo ladies! Bravo!

  35. I can’t believe the FDA approved this. You know the street value of Robert Pattinson is going to be outrageous.

    • Yeah, the street value of Robert Pattinson will be outrageous…this will cause the crime rate for females to rise WAY UP…LOL

  36. HA HA HA HA.lmao. This was Brilliant, Most Def. needs to be a TV COMMERCIAL!

  37. Hahaha! This is great! Definetly true! Robert Pattinson is a menace for every man in the whole world hahaha

  38. The humor of this post was completely amplified by the coincidental combination of an actual drug commercial playing on the TV at the same time that I read it!

    LOL!

  39. Epic funny…. I cannot stop laughing long enough to add anything witty myself.

  40. So what would the rehab be since we are all so clearly addicted?

    • plenty of sex with rob, would “relax” any symptoms or negative side effects…

  41. Finally, the medical profession has recognized this as a true medical condition. How soon will Robert Pattinson be available to the general public? Is this a first come first serve scenario or do those of us who have it really BAD get to jump the line?

    I would add a few more symptoms:
    -The sudden affinity for plaid.
    – The NEED to slap every squealing fangirl until their retainers fall out
    -The desire to watch old interviews of HHH over and over again JUST to hear the “giggle”
    -The unabashed hanging of Robporn in ones office
    -The obsession for a man younger than yourself who, by all acounts would rush past you on his way to a night of drunken debauchery with a mullet wearing, sullen faced gnome.

    • Hehehehehe…she said “Gnome”..Now that’s funny!!

  42. I just realized how freaking funny this would be as a SNL skit.

  43. LOL! This is an awesome post!

    Unfortunately my insurance only covers generics…

  44. 10 bucks says they use this on SNL whenever it is that they get Rob to host (please please please please). It is SO WIN!

    Indications:
    MAY be taken with alcohol

    Will have more, but I need to recover from the laugh-induced headache from which I am suffering

  45. Ya know, I have had that problem with JackBone…screaming his name out while I am currently…uhh..”enjoying” my husband. He doesn’t like it, but hell, he doesn’t stop either. Ha!

    • JackBone. Hehehe.

      Is there a welcoming committee for new “Jackbone” lovers? He may or may not be my narcotics of choice now.

      • I always welcome JackBone lovers. They are rare but oh-so-needed.

  46. I love the pic! What exactly is he swinging on? Tire swing of some kind? The bird just puts it over the top. I knew he was into birds (see my name)!

  47. I am willing to volunteer for a patient study…

    I sleep over..and get large doses of RPATZ…
    and then someone can draw my blood work or whatevs..

    48 hours just to make sure there is enough RPatz in my system to get a true reading. lol

    Brummie

  48. YES!!!! OMG, yes!

    Love it…fav new post! xo LOL, ALL TRUE.

  49. Thanks for the warning…. we now resume our regular programming

    I’m over-dosing!

    • great vid!! lots of fingerporn and wayfarers….yummy!!!

    • yummmmmmmmy yum-yum.

    • Whew, thanks for sharing! Just the screen shot before you hit play was a mild overdose… Delicious.

  50. oh yes and a big shout out to Too_Far_Gone’s (Carter) mom for sending the original email about margs to her, who sent it to me. Carter and her mother clearly rule!

    • Huh? Marg’s? What’s that?

      PS I ❤ you and your music…can you make me a playlist?


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