Dear Rob,
During this Rob-Dry Spell (two words that I usually don’t say together) while we wait for you to show your face in VanCity (hopefully sporting a new hat featuring a different crustacean from the sea), I thought I’d go over some FACTs about you, just like I did after ComicCon, that have been on my mind in recent weeks.
1. Why men hate Rob
FACT: This is a FACT, that’s all
2. Rob Pattinson’s sperm can be yours
Merging the science of assisted reproduction with the art of pop culture whoredom, Cryobank allows clients to select sperm from donors who supposedly look like celebrities.
FACT: I want to MAKE a baby with you, not push your look-a-like out my va-jay-jay.
3. Dickipedia
Here are the Dickipedia’s (the wiki of dick) reasons why you’re a dick:
Robert Thomas Pattinson (born May 13, 1986) is a dick actor, model, and musician best known for playing Edward Cullen in the film adaptation of “Twilight,” and very likely the reason your wife or girlfriend has stopped having sex with you.
- Often called the “face” of “Twilight,” Robert Pattinson portrays a character described by the series creator as “devastatingly, inhumanly beautiful.” You try playing that without turning into a total dick.
- On top of that, Pattinson’s character is every woman’s fantasy—a dangerous though non-threatening protector with great hair and a bulletproof jawline, who, instead of getting tanked and groping you for five minutes before passing out, cradles you in his sober arms all night long, listening to you talk for hours on end without saying a word and without ever falling asleep.
- This fictional chastity is especially ironic, considering that in real life Robert Pattinson is one of the biggest p-hounds to emerge from England since Henry VIII. Although none of RPattz’s conquests have been decapitated, at least not that “OK! Magazine” knows about. Pattinson harbors a penchant for bedding then stringing along various barely legal co-stars. Rumor has it he even got it on with Hermione Granger, a coupling that has something for every pervert on the planet.
FACT: This is hilarious and obviously written by a guy who’s girl just recently yelled out “ROB” in the throws of passion. We all know Rob isn’t a dick, he IS Dick. (So is, coincidentally, his father)
4. R Pat is not his name
“Most of the girls are all pretty young so it’s just kind of funny. But then you get the Twilight Moms who love you like moms!” Source
FACT: First, Can I call you R Pat? No one is scared of MILFs. They’re Moms you’d like to Eff. Who’s scared of that? Secondly, some Cougars can be scary. I’m currently afraid of the one my dad is engaged to. And I swear that the minute we get an “letter to Rob” via e-mail signed “Cherbear in Doylestown,” I will shut this blog down so fast it’ll be like it “never existed.” Thirdly, Panthers are like big cats. Purrrr. Lastly, No. The don’t love you like moms. They love you like hot women who wanna ride you hard. FACT.
5. A Rob Abstinence Message
(another two words not normally found together)
Fact: It does not. I first saw this back when my Twi-obsession started. I laminated it and keep it by my bed as my mantra during nightly prayers. The urge has only grown.
FACT: Rob rushes out of VanCity hotel room, pushes past someone (we’re not sure who- he or she has a black mullet) and declares love for someone named UnintendedChoice…
Oops- you caught me day dreaming there,
UnintendedChoice xx
What FACTs are you thinking about Rob lately?
Continue the fun in The Forum
Read something posted that’s not about Robsten on LTT!
Pic #1 Source & LTR Reader: Robamusement
Pic #2- Thanks Katie!
Dikipedia sent to me by Adrienne
SomeECards
“hopefully sporting a new hat featuring a different crustacean from the sea”
i hope it’s a sea bass or maybe a dolphin
By: themoonisdown on August 19, 2009
at 8:54 pm
I’d like Rob to show his support for the Deadliest Catch crew and sport some Alaskan king crab.
By: robsten4life on August 20, 2009
at 8:15 am
FACT: Rob is legally blind. Or at least that’s what I tell myself when wondering what he sees in mullet bella.
AND……… if rob gets a new hat i think it should say something like I love Rednecks and have a pic of billy ray cyrus on it as an homage to his new crimson necked lady love.
By: aquiredtaste on August 20, 2009
at 9:04 pm
Maybe he’ll get one from Scotland and it will have the Loch Ness on it.
What? He’s a crustacean.
By: sassysmart on August 20, 2009
at 9:03 am
crustaceans she said, not fish or mammals from the sea.
Personally, I think he should go for a Sea Horse. They are known for their devotion in relationship which they take so far that males actually carry the young. I bet Edward would have loved that.
Um. Facts about Rob you said?
FACT: Rob is a liar. He said he was into older, curvy women and yet look what he’s tapping. Liar!
By: PG on August 20, 2009
at 8:11 am
FACT: He’s just doing Kristen to get to MomStew.
By: tiffanized on August 20, 2009
at 8:16 am
HAHA!
By: southernbelle on August 20, 2009
at 9:33 am
Haha, MomStew – Eww. Tho MomStew seems to be a hobo-lifestyle loving individual. Have you seen her pick up truck? I’ve got serious redneck envy over that truck.
By: PG on August 20, 2009
at 10:02 am
Haha…I saw the big ol’ mamastew truck. Was it a Ford F-150?
By: southernbelle on August 20, 2009
at 10:38 am
❤ you tiffanized, as usual you've 'nailed it'……
By: Rubytuesday on August 20, 2009
at 12:19 pm
I still need to read the actual post, yet I’m already lolling over crustacean. Fancy words always make me giggle. -> take note Rob.
By: Alice - Not an Addikt on August 20, 2009
at 8:31 am
PG,
KStew makes sense if you think about the bromance side of things.
She resemebles a 13 yr old guy like TomStu..
By: hermes on August 20, 2009
at 5:24 pm
I have thought about that Hermes, but have a look at the photos from Italy. The one where she has thrown herself at Edward to cover his sparkliness?
Don’t kill me, but I’m thinking even I would tap that.
KStew is luvly, I likes her. Also, if this thing with them works out for a while that means that Rob’s and mine astrological incompatibility may not be such a stumbling block after all.
Me? Always looking for the positives. hah
By: PG on August 20, 2009
at 8:11 pm
“I laminated it and keep it by my bed as my mantra during nightly prayers.” : I printed mine out to use as a bookmark in my Kellan-autographed copy of “The Purpose Driven Life”.
While I’m feeling repentant, let me say that until today, I didn’t know (or wonder about) Rob’s middle name. I have no idea how this can be, but it be.
By: tiffanized on August 20, 2009
at 8:14 am
FACT: He taught me how to miss someone I never even met.
That’s normal, right?
By: BB on August 20, 2009
at 8:18 am
A-FRIGGEN-MEN!
And it’s absolutely normal!
By: Kelly on August 20, 2009
at 9:32 am
😦 Awwww. I know, sad isn’t it?
By: southernbelle on August 20, 2009
at 9:34 am
That’s Normal.
By: Katie S on August 20, 2009
at 9:45 am
Nailed it.
Now I’m slightly depressed… hahaha
By: HeyyyBrother on August 20, 2009
at 10:01 am
normal, normal, normal… *sigh*
By: Libby on August 20, 2009
at 10:05 am
We’re all NORMAL….slightly hormonal but normal as is.
By: southernbelle on August 20, 2009
at 10:40 am
Yep, hormonal AND normal, I agree.
By: Lynda from philly on August 20, 2009
at 6:40 pm
Well, now I’m just … fucking depressed.
FACT: It’s effing disturbing to realize you MISS daily pics and videos of Rob walking the eff around. So much so, that I want to use the F word, alot. So, for eff’s sake … walk down the street in a black tee or something, Rob, please! (No mullet present, however, that just ruins it).
By: allryans on August 20, 2009
at 2:41 pm
@ BB how fricking profound.
“FACT: He taught me how to miss someone I never even met.”
I hear a song coming on!!
prost to you!
-H
By: hermes on August 20, 2009
at 11:57 pm
That picture with the sperm fact is creeping me out. It looks like there’s a huge paint can full of it with a giant stick to stir it all up.
By: JodieO on August 20, 2009
at 8:27 am
“Robert Pattinson: the guy you become when your girlfriend, make that wife, closes her eyes during sex”
FACT: Guilty your honour!
X
By: Cazza on August 20, 2009
at 8:30 am
As long as you don’t yell “Rob!”. I’m always careful to bite my lip.
By: dazzledtodeath on August 20, 2009
at 8:35 am
Lip biting is always good…..
By: Cazza on August 20, 2009
at 9:56 am
When Rob does it.
By: Katie S on August 20, 2009
at 10:32 am
or if his name does slip out change it to something like…
“Rob….bing me of my of thought your so good honey”
or
“Rob….in… Rockin Robin….tweet tweet tweet”
Or maybe
“ROB……..ERT E Lee.. the south is rising again!”
Just a few options!
By: Kelly on August 20, 2009
at 9:39 am
LOL at the “Rob…bing me of my thought your so good honey”
Excellent!
By: Cazza on August 20, 2009
at 9:58 am
Oh, man, so guilty as charged!
By: JennB33 on August 20, 2009
at 9:55 am
thank god, we are not the only ones ; )
By: Cazza on August 20, 2009
at 9:59 am
Me, too. But that husband gets it much more often now, so I’m not sure he would care (not that he will ever find out!).
By: Bellasnemisis on August 20, 2009
at 9:59 am
if only THEY knew ; )
By: Cazza on August 20, 2009
at 12:26 pm
Since Rob is pretty much always in my thoughts,here are a few things I’ve been thinking about him:
I can’t wait for New Moon. Although it ‘s my least fave of the books, the trailer looks promising. Thinking about that shirtless scene has got me in a perpetual state of ,shall we say, need.
I miss the daily news & pics of Rob. It got kinda old when he was in NY, but don’t ya know-I miss seeing his face (minus the mullet).
Rob’s mullet -loving ways haven’t changed my feelings about him. I’m willing to chalk it up to a one-time lapse in taste and sanity.
So Rob, show your gorgeous face a little more, ditch the mullet and I’ll be happy, counting down the days until NM.
By: dazzledtodeath on August 20, 2009
at 8:32 am
“A one-time lapse in taste and sanity….”Yeah, we’ll allow him this one lapse, but after that’s over with, NO MORE, ROB…we won’t put up with mullet-lovers.
By: Lynda from philly on August 20, 2009
at 6:45 pm
“This fictional chastity is especially ironic, considering that in real life Robert Pattinson is one of the biggest p-hounds to emerge from England since Henry VIII. ”
Outside of every word that Dude who pens Kristen Stewart Wants It has posted, that is probably the best sentence I’ve ever read in my life.
“P-hound,” and “Henry VIII.” That’s incredible!!! And it made me think of The Tudors, which then made me think of my beloved Henry Cavill.
Yep…it’s already a good morning. Thanks, y’all!
By: Leigh Anne (or Lula!) on August 20, 2009
at 8:35 am
Fact: I love Henry Cavill, I don’t think he would have made a good Edward but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s hot!
By: robsten4life on August 20, 2009
at 9:32 am
I actually would’ve loved Henry as Edward. Good Lord that man is sexy! Now, I need to get caught up on the Tudors. No Rob news leaves me more time to watch the show. *sigh* I started watching it for Jonathan Rhys Meyers, but Henry has totally captured my hormones. Thx for the reminder!
By: leeeleee on August 20, 2009
at 2:34 pm
“FACT: I want to MAKE a baby with you, not push your look-a-like out my va-jay-jay.”
True. and True.
Ohh and they totally misspelled “Pattinson”. Never trust dyslectic sperm ladies.
By: Alice - Not an Addikt on August 20, 2009
at 8:45 am
Fact #3 had me snorting out my juice! He’s a “p-hound!” Hilarious! If he really is a “p-hound,” he’s the best actor in the friggin’ universe. He should win an Oscar just for livin’ his life.
By: Cullenista on August 20, 2009
at 8:51 am
FACT: he’s the exception to the rule…
(the rule being that I would never lust this much after anyone but my own HB. Or after anyone of his age. Or any man period.)
Wish I could make him the rule and all others the exception…
By: alexandraleaving on August 20, 2009
at 8:55 am
“FACT: he’s the exception to the rule…”
So true.
By: Katie S on August 20, 2009
at 9:48 am
So friggin’ true! Until him I was only attracted to older men…….my fiance is 12 years my senior (just as an example).
That said, the older he gets, the HOTTER he gets.
By: blackrose on August 21, 2009
at 12:49 am
‘FACT: I want to MAKE a baby with you, not push your look-a-like out my va-jay-jay.’
AMEN TO THAT!
By: achc on August 20, 2009
at 8:59 am
I know I’m replying to myself but I felt it was important to add:
Despite my above agreement, Rob is the ONLY man who has ever walked and who will ever walk this earth who is making me reconsider my ‘no baby EVER’ policy. I would totally give birth for him (that sounds so wrong)
By: achc on August 20, 2009
at 9:01 am
that’s normal.
By: Holly on August 20, 2009
at 10:31 am
FACT: Anything that makes fun of Rob makes me laugh especially hard.
That might sound mean but it’s true. Cause he is just as depricating as those ‘haters’…and that’s one of the wonderful things about the boy.
By: sassysmart on August 20, 2009
at 9:07 am
Thanks for clearing up the MILFy Rob love, UC! Bc I def don’t love him like a mom would love him. Ew!!
You took the words right out of my mouth: They love you like hot women who wanna ride you hard. FACT.
By: SaritaPagita on August 20, 2009
at 9:08 am
I do love him like a hot woman who wants to ride him hard. But that doesn’t mean I don’t also want to throw his jeans in the wash while we’re schtupping.
Does that make me a scary Twi-mom (even tho I’m not a mom)?
By: f_ingdelicious on August 20, 2009
at 10:35 am
Haha! Do you think Rob understands yiddish?
By: milfy goodness on August 20, 2009
at 2:16 pm
Schtupping is the universal language. I’m sure I’d be able to make my meaning clear. 😉
By: f_ingdelicious on August 20, 2009
at 2:24 pm
This comment has WIN! all over it. And I hate doing laundry.
You do a load before Rob blows one…
P.S. Going to ask my mother in law how to say “Meet me behind the dumpster” in Yiddish
By: Sarah S on August 20, 2009
at 3:17 pm
FACT: I can’t believe i just wrote that. (re: loads) oh…the things Rob has done to my brain
By: Sarah S on August 20, 2009
at 3:17 pm
What I want to know is how you’re going to explain to your DH if your M-I-L tells him what you asked!!!
By: f_ingdelicious on August 20, 2009
at 6:00 pm
I concur. This coming from “an older woman who wants to ride him hard.” Nuff said.
By: Lynda from philly on August 20, 2009
at 6:48 pm
“Rob isn’t a dick, he IS Dick” – perfect!
(i love how when you click on my name in the post it goes to an article about MLF’s that scare Rob!)
By: adrienne on August 20, 2009
at 9:15 am
FACT: Diki got this wrong … Rob’s “very likely the reason your wife or girlfriend has stopped having sex with you.” Um, NO. He’s the reason she’s having a lot MORE, a lot hotter, a lot dirtier sex with you. And the reason she lets you walk out of the house now looking hobolicious. Thank him, not hate him.
By: allryans on August 20, 2009
at 9:15 am
Word!!!
That is what I oput in the forum yesterday 🙂
Fanfic-tastic!!!
By: summergirl on August 20, 2009
at 9:17 am
True dat!
By: Kelly on August 20, 2009
at 9:45 am
Very true! I keep telling my man he should be writing letters to the ff girls and Steph Meyer to thank them. I leave ROb out of it though… no need to bruise egos with the dirty truth.
By: Katie S on August 20, 2009
at 9:50 am
Yup! If only DH knew.
By: southernbelle on August 20, 2009
at 10:42 am
FACT: after Rob, no one will be ever good enough for us.
After baby boom generation of the 50’s there will be baby doom generation in next 30 yrs.
By: JellybeanRainbow on August 20, 2009
at 9:20 am
“Robert Pattinson: the guy you become when your girlfriend, make that wife, closes her eyes during sex.”
Guilty as charged!
It’s hard not to! I try so hard but I can’t get out of my mind. I’m bombard w/ information and pictures of him everyday, it’s bound to affect my life. At least I don’t say “Oh Rob!”
By: southernbelle on August 20, 2009
at 9:25 am
Sorry I meant “bombarded” in my above post. I’m not really awake yet!
By: southernbelle on August 20, 2009
at 9:26 am
“instead of getting tanked and groping you for five minutes before passing out, cradles you in his sober arms all night long, listening to you talk for hours on end without saying a word and without ever falling asleep.”
Le sigh…..
“so is, coincidentally, his father”
LOL!
btw, was watching last night’s TMZ and they announced that the word for a male cougar is “dingo”. LOL! Alrighty then!
By: Jena on August 20, 2009
at 9:36 am
LMAO “dingo” seems fitting
By: robsten4life on August 20, 2009
at 9:43 am
Dingo – hahah, that’s like a dog-looking animal in Australia LOL! I guess that’s a good term for men because they can be dogs right? :-).
By: southernbelle on August 20, 2009
at 10:00 am
Brings “the dingo ate my baby” into a whole different light!
By: Jena on August 20, 2009
at 10:04 am
oh dear god. LMAO, Jena!
By: Holly on August 20, 2009
at 10:34 am
seriously fuckin hilarious comment Jena
By: milfy goodness on August 20, 2009
at 2:17 pm
truly fuckin hilarous comment Jena!
By: milfy goodness on August 20, 2009
at 4:30 pm
Oops – thought it didn’t post first time. Well, now you can see how funny I really thought it was
By: milfy goodness on August 20, 2009
at 4:31 pm
A dingo is a scavanger..
fitting discription all around I’d say.
By: hermes on August 20, 2009
at 5:31 pm
Dingo? I call them Silver Foxes.
Just like Dick…he’s my favorite Silver Fox. prrrrrrrrr
By: sassysmart on August 20, 2009
at 10:02 am
I’d play with that ‘dingos’ ding-a-ling anytime……I’m allowed as I’m a cougar..rwar…
By: Rubytuesday on August 20, 2009
at 11:58 am
OK so… I’m feeling a little bit of knockin on the cougars here.. 😦 come one… Cougars need Roblovin too… jeesh! We’re not all freaky twi-moms you know 😦
By: Kelly on August 20, 2009
at 9:42 am
who’s knocking the cougars!?
i just knocked on the phone engaged to my dad
By: unintendedchoice on August 20, 2009
at 10:49 am
also I’m not gonna change that i said “phone engaged to my dad”
cuz she is… a phone
By: unintendedchoice on August 20, 2009
at 10:50 am
OH.. see I misinterpreted.. my bad… forgive me?? Sometimes I get so worked up reading your posts I miss words… I read “Secondly, Cougars can be scary” instead of what you wrote “Secondly, some Cougars can be scary” Sorry 😦
By: Kelly on August 20, 2009
at 11:02 am
Oh UC, it’s like you know me.
Hey Rob, now that UC has cleared up the misconceptions relating to MILFs, I can only think of one thing to say…
‘Come to Mama!’
No, but srsly, I would take it on a case by case basis. Not all Twi-Moms are MILFs. Not all MILFs are gonna turn Rob’s crank. And not all MILFs that say, ‘turn Rob’s crank’ will get that fine opportunity.
Here’s the deal…
KStew…if you’re doin him, ya better be doin him WELL…cause I would NOT want to be the one eff up that favorable circumstance! Justsayin. Kthxbai.
By: Prpselyte3 on August 20, 2009
at 9:53 am
And how awesome is it that I spelled my own moniker incorrectly this morning.
I think it had something to do with UC mentioned Rob’s appendages, or…..not.
By: Proselyte3 on August 20, 2009
at 9:56 am
I love this post so much. And I love it when you do FACTS. Fact.
FACT: I want to bang Rob even when he looks like this – https://letterstorob.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/robfarts.jpg
Hard.
By: Katie S on August 20, 2009
at 9:56 am
FACT: Robert Pattinson is an instant smile…his presence is smile inducing….if your girlfriend/wife is smiling for no apparent reason she has either, just seen a movie or video or picture with Robert Pattinson in it OR something has happened that made her think of him.
http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=95deef80e544c89c078cad&skin_id=701&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url
By: Kelly on August 20, 2009
at 9:56 am
Aww thanks Kelly! He’s so beautiful. I truly wonder if I’ll ever get over him! LOL
By: southernbelle on August 20, 2009
at 10:37 am
I’ve stopped trying…..hell I’ve even accepted Robsten….I’m just goin’ ta enjoy the Robride {that’swhatshesaid} and barring horrific headlines I’m going with the fantsay half-life I’ve been living for the last 9 months… it’s a wonderful place to be…
By: Rubytuesday on August 20, 2009
at 11:53 am
As I have said many times in the last few days and weeks..the new mantra needs to be
“Keep it UNREAL”
If your fantasy is bumming you out.. it’s time to get a new fantasy
I just amend my Rob fantasy as the need arises…. 😀
By: Kelly on August 20, 2009
at 12:00 pm
Best 3:24 minutes of my day, Kelly!
By: JellybeanRainbow on August 20, 2009
at 12:56 pm
I’ve actually watched it 4 times today.. it makes me happy.. takes me to my happy place 😛
By: Kelly on August 20, 2009
at 4:32 pm
Wow, great video thanks. He also makes me laugh when I hear and see him laugh. It’s so infectious. LOL
By: Brandi on August 20, 2009
at 11:47 pm
I just took a look at the video that you posted, and thought that it was amazing!! It brought tears to my eyes… Good way to start the day… Right up there with a video that I saw on his birthday in May.
I just hope that if he is spending his extra time with KStew, that she appreciates it. He has been chasing her for so long, that he could easily get bored with her. She better be “milking it” for all its worth, if you know what I mean… He could very easily hurt her.
I mean, she’s underage, so she can’t go out drinking with him, one of his favorite things to do. She doesn’t have that much experience, she’s nineteen, and had only one boyfriend. Sounds like boring sex to me…
Someone posted a couple of days ago, that maybe he’s doing her, because his a “method” actor. Maybe they were spending so much time together, to get reacquainted, from being a part for the summer??? You know that she had to of “hooked up” with him in Italy. How could she not??
Thanks for posting that video of smiles!!
By: Kathi on August 21, 2009
at 8:00 am
FACT: Rob is a very lucky bastard to have so many awesome ladies here at LTR blogging and commenting about him.
FACT: Rob is a very unlucky bastard to have so many batshit crazies chasing after him a la Pattinson Pants Lady.
By: HeyyyBrother on August 20, 2009
at 9:59 am
FACT: I have spent way too many hours + money on anything ROBLATED (book, movies, magazines, music,) but in the end it’s all worth it to me.
FACT: in my head, we live a happy life together and I never knew my husband existed
FACT: I love Rob NOT Edward Cullen…I love his hair, his jaw, his eyes, his akward quirkiness, his voice, his music (especially the piano), and his way of making me melt.
By: misty on August 20, 2009
at 10:03 am
“No one is scared of MILFs. They’re Moms you’d like to Eff. Who’s scared of that?”
Amen and amen.
By: Bellasnemisis on August 20, 2009
at 10:05 am
and why not throw in a hallelujah as well…..
By: Cazza on August 20, 2009
at 12:34 pm
FACT: I have spent way too many hours + money on anything ROBLATED (book, movies, magazines, music,) but in the end it’s all worth it to me.
FACT: in my head, we live a happy life together and I never knew my husband existed
FACT: I love Rob NOT Edward Cullen…I love his hair, his jaw, his eyes, his akward quirkiness, his voice, his music (especially the piano), and his way of making me melt.
By: misty on August 20, 2009
at 10:09 am
FACT: The mere sight of Robert Pattinson causes instant and sustained ovulation in pre and post menopausal women. That’s why his movies and pictures have replaced the sticky and worn copies of Playboy, Hustler and Penthouse in fertility clinics around the world.
By: Christa64c on August 20, 2009
at 10:13 am
This was HILARIOUS, UC! Btw congrats to you and Moon on the Smeyer shout-out. I hope that when Rob finally admits publicly that he reads your letters, it will also be via somewhere legit (like his VF cover interview) and not trash (like the Daily Mirror lol)
By: twihigh on August 20, 2009
at 10:17 am
thanks:)
By: unintendedchoice on August 20, 2009
at 10:52 am
I bet Rob does read Letters to Rob and he LOVES IT, he probably needs to read it everyday because he loves all our hot and pervy comments and he can’t get enough. It gives him inspiration for when he finally admits that he needs to meet all of us here!!!!
By: Lynda from philly on August 20, 2009
at 7:06 pm
[…] This post was Twitted by letter2twilight […]
By: Twitted by letter2twilight on August 20, 2009
at 10:49 am
Like I said, to Moonie, Love you, Mean it!
Off to look for TayTay. A girl can dream he’s in GA while it’s legal, right?
PS #kristenstewartwantsit
By: Janetrigs on August 20, 2009
at 10:54 am
Throws a bucket of cold H20 @ Jantrigs.
Did you check this out?
“Cougar strips down for Taylor Lautner”… Lautner was horrified when a middle-aged female fan tried to take off her panties in front of him….
LMAO
http://www.dailyfill.com/Cougar-Strips-Down-For-Taylor-Lautner-32464/
By: hermes on August 20, 2009
at 7:00 pm
FACT: I’ve never gotten less work done at work in my entire life, thanks to my obsessional need to look for pictures of the sex hair.
By: dancing_echoes on August 20, 2009
at 11:01 am
WORD. That’s an indisputable fact for me… My job has been reduced to part-time work thanks to all things Rob (LTR playing a major role in it).
By: HeyyyBrother on August 20, 2009
at 2:07 pm
So True! I am only doing part-time at my job too and this is a problem because I am a SAHM! My kids eat a lot of cereal and hot pockets;)
By: Jaybird on August 20, 2009
at 2:11 pm
HA HA HA HA – Fact!
By: Marie on August 20, 2009
at 3:22 pm
FACT: This pic of Rob has gotten my husband laid more times than every time he brought home flowers, took me out for a fancy dinner, took me on surprise weekend getaway or cleaned the toilet combined.
http://mswiley2508.wordpress.com/2009/03/15/song-of-the-week-robert-pattinson/
By: Holly on August 20, 2009
at 11:06 am
Hahaha
And here I thought nothing was gonna beat a toilet-cleaning-BF. But then again, Rob beats anything…
By: Alice - Not an Addikt on August 20, 2009
at 11:51 am
I say my nightly prayers about Rob too! Too bad it only leads to dreams about Rob. Last night he was a robot, weird, I know, but he was one HAWT robot!!
Fact: Rob can even make a robot HAWT!
I am going to be singing “Whose afraid of the Big Bad MILF” all day long!!
I *heart* you long time! Great Post!!
By: Jaybird on August 20, 2009
at 11:09 am
FACT: Rob, when you finally decide you want all of your fantasies fulfilled….I am promising you 19 ain’t gonna cut it. Trust me. Cougar and Puma land is loads of fun and we don’t need instruction manuals. When you are ready presh, we will be here to welcome you with open arms and legs….cough….what….I didn’t say anything.
UC….another great one.
ps. Mom Love….gross.
xo
obird
By: obird on August 20, 2009
at 11:21 am
obird… A-MEN,…
🙂
By: Kelly on August 20, 2009
at 11:37 am
Amen sistah!
By: southernbelle on August 20, 2009
at 4:58 pm
Amen and Halleluaghla (I can’t spell it, sorry)…you know what I mean.
By: Lynda from philly on August 20, 2009
at 6:57 pm
Ha-ha. I don’t even wanna keep you for long. I just wanna make you walk funny(er).
By: Brandi on August 21, 2009
at 12:03 am
“Thirdly, Panthers are like big cats. Purrrr. Lastly, No. The don’t love you like moms. They love you like hot women who wanna ride you hard. FACT.”
Tooo right us cougars do not have a motherly feeling in our body when it comes to Rob…we’re all woman all the way, any way and every way…..and we feel dirty, very dirty….
Love the post, love you gals…
By: Rubytuesday on August 20, 2009
at 11:44 am
ditto on everything you said!
By: Cazza on August 20, 2009
at 12:38 pm
We feel like its dirty…..but DON’T feel like its wrong!!!!
By: Lynda from philly on August 20, 2009
at 7:00 pm
FACT: we are all normal. this is all normal. So normal in fact that I can’t think about anything else and I will find a way to relate everything to Rob and or Twilight. You all are my life now.
See? normal.
By: Kristin on August 20, 2009
at 1:12 pm
FACT: I can’t remember what websites I used to visit before Rob came in to my life.
FACT: I can’t remember what topics I found funny before LTR came into my life.
FACT: My 10 month old daughter woke up with Rob hair this morning.
FACT: A few months ago, I would have just called it unkempt.
FACT: I’m turning 25 next week and my husband told me last night he almost bought me a pair of Rob’s boxers off ebay, but chose not to because there was no certificate of authenticity. Joking, obviously, but then he said that he seriously considered getting me a Rob doll.
FACT: I somehow got my husband to fuel the fire.
FACT: He and I both know that he should thank Rob (see allryan’s comment above)
FACT: I am TOTES normal
By: Sarah S on August 20, 2009
at 2:01 pm
“FACT: My 10 month old daughter woke up with Rob hair this morning.”
Amazing.
By: obird on August 20, 2009
at 2:28 pm
THAT’S MY RPATTZ LOL AT THE TOP!!! I FEEL SO SPECIAL!!! =D
By: Chimaera2009 on August 20, 2009
at 2:21 pm
yay! i love it!!!
By: unintendedchoice on August 20, 2009
at 2:56 pm
FACT: this post had me at ‘we want to MAKE a baby with you, not push a look a like out of our va-jay-jays!’
You guys are just too hilarious!
And the whole MILF thing needed to be addressed to. No one is afraid of the big bad cougar.
By: milfy goodness on August 20, 2009
at 2:28 pm
never a dull moment with you guys!!!
By: LunaStarz on August 20, 2009
at 2:30 pm
LMAO!!! I am just wondering what wardrobe malfunction he’ll show up with next.
Gotta Love ROB! (And ITA the dickipedia guy probably did lose his girl to the Pattz.)
By: RPfangirlDC on August 20, 2009
at 3:09 pm
FACT: Ron can dance well.
PROOF: http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/vbSSsLGFqbXnpe8a
Check out the vid of Rob and a random chick dancing with him…LOL!!!!
By: Floridian_Angel on August 20, 2009
at 3:18 pm
Hahahahh, I spelled RON!
By: Floridian_Angel on August 20, 2009
at 6:03 pm
F_A, this has me wondering if Rob CAN dance, or is he a terribly unco-ordinated clutz. Do you suppose he dances like a goat or a palsied chicken? I wish I wasn’t thinking about this, cuz I loves me some dancin and dance-floor-fore-play is HOT.
By: Rosie on August 20, 2009
at 8:08 pm
Fact: (love the facts)
*I run hot and cold over our boy Robbie.
*That I can’t shake the feeling Robstene is BS.
*That I visit a site (LTR) dedicated to him simply for the snarkcasm and comments by Moon/UC and you all.
*That laughter IS the best medicine.
ps-
The biggest Punk of all would be if Rob was everything opposit of what we all fantasized.
(snarkcasm= taking sarcasm to a whole different level)
By: hermes on August 20, 2009
at 6:02 pm
[…] Facts about Rob Pattinson during the Rob Dry-spell « Letters to Rob letterstorob.wordpress.com/2009/08/20/facts-about-rob-pattinson-during-the-rob-dry-spell – view page – cached #Letters to Rob RSS Feed Letters to Rob » Facts about Rob Pattinson during the Rob Dry-spell Comments Feed Letters to Rob Vanity Fair Outtakes… All the Robert Pattinson news fit to print — From the page […]
By: Twitter Trackbacks for Facts about Rob Pattinson during the Rob Dry-spell « Letters to Rob [letterstorob.wordpress.com] on Topsy.com on August 20, 2009
at 6:47 pm
hahahahaahahahahahaha *falls of chair*
….
*gets back on chair*
ahem.
FACT: Lost humans walk in circles (it’s true!)
but LTR fans lost in the wilderness without Rob-news will turn to endless speculation on what the next Rob-ppearance will be like:
Will the mullet be banished?
Will the femulleted co-star be shunned? (And will she still want it to a physics-defying degree?)
Will the Stoli shirt make another hobolicious appearance?
What of the beanie, what?!?! For the love of god tell me!!!
These are all important questions requiring much deliberation. Way more important that, like, work and stuff.
And that is a fact.
By: cledbo on August 20, 2009
at 9:06 pm
Just came across this quote and had to share with you – so appropriate for today’s post:
Homer Simpson: Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!
By: milfy goodness on August 20, 2009
at 9:55 pm
Rob are you listening to us?
Are you out their in cyber land reading our drivel?
Answer me dammit!!
By: hermes on August 21, 2009
at 12:00 am
My favorite pics of Rob
By: Brandi on August 21, 2009
at 12:44 am
LOTN?
By: Jenny-meiss on August 21, 2009
at 12:52 am
Hey Jenny. Looks like we’ve been on hiatus for a while. How are you doing?
By: EyeC on August 21, 2009
at 1:03 am
Hey EyeC! I know, haven’t we? Thought I’d pop by for a few and see if anyone would show up.
I’m doing okay, just really tired tonight. It’s only 11, and I’ve been ready for bed for an hour! How are you doing??
Also, I read the TOV update today. I think she’s going to end it soon! Wah.
By: Jenny-meiss on August 21, 2009
at 1:06 am
I’m OK. I continue to read new stories and just finished Deconstructing Dracula yesterday so my head’s still in London. I loved Wild Swan–put that on your list. It’s sad/hopeful and she started a Bella blog to accompany it. Clever. Now I’m reading Lizzie’s rec called When Fiction Becomes Reality.
I haven’t heard from FN yet. She said she would have to get hooked up after she moved.
Did you get down to Colorado Springs?
Yes, I read the TOV update today. I will hate to see that one end. It’s really a special story. Hope she continues to write.
I just started writing another girlfriend from high school and that’s always fun to reconnect after years.
By: EyeC on August 21, 2009
at 1:14 am
I think I’ll start that Clipped Wings one tomorrow, that you recommended. You know, the one you were nagging me about in Denver? 😉 Can’t wait for the tattoos! I need to go back and find that list your made me, with all the links. It’ll be in the comments somewhere. I saved it somewhere on my computer but now I can’t find it. So I’ll just search past comments. I’ll have to remember Wild Swan now. How was the Deconstructing Dracula? My head is always in London, regardless!
I was messaging FN, and she told me that she might be online tomorrow – hopefully. They’ve been having trouble setting things up. Apparently all they can get out there is dial-up!
We did make it Colorado Springs! It was a blast. I wrote a little thing (and by little, a mean a NOVEL) for Lizzie, so I’ll send that your way so you can get all the details in private.
Yeah, sad for TOV to leave, but the story does seem to be winding down. For me, anyway.
Awwe, I love reconnecting with old friends! Where does she live?
By: Jenny-meiss on August 21, 2009
at 1:22 am
Hey EyeC!
By: ErPattz on August 21, 2009
at 1:07 am
Hi EP! Good to hear from you. What have you been doing for the past week?
By: EyeC on August 21, 2009
at 1:15 am
Been good! Only here for a few minutes though, have to be at an elementary school at 8am. I’m creeping on a teacher for a few days. We’re “observing” the set up of the classroom and first day of school.
By: ErPattz on August 21, 2009
at 1:17 am
That sounds like it will be good experience for you. Everything you can do will help to prepare you. London is coming up so soon!
By: EyeC on August 21, 2009
at 1:20 am
I’m nervous about it to be honest. And London is very soon, I got my housing and intern site the other day. Very exciting!
By: ErPattz on August 21, 2009
at 1:24 am
Observing shouldn’t be bad. She won’t expect you to take over the class will she?
By: EyeC on August 21, 2009
at 1:29 am
Not at all, I’m supposed to help set up and such, but mostly I’m just there to watch.
By: ErPattz on August 21, 2009
at 1:32 am
You said you would have 3 other flatmates? Is there any additional information about your particular school where you will intern?
By: EyeC on August 21, 2009
at 1:39 am