Posted by: themoonisdown | July 31, 2009

Robert Pattinson Pick Up Lines

Got a light?

Got a light?

Dear Rob,

I just got back from making a deposit at the bank and of course what should be a normal every day thing got me thinking about you. Cause you see to get to the front door of the bank I had to walk by a line of constructions workers and of course they all used their best manners and whistled and yelled their best lines at me. And of course being the big mouth I am yelled back at them “Really, that’s your best line? That’s how you’re gonna come at me, with that? Pick up any women that way?” Such class acts. So of course it made me think about what kind of pick up lines you would use and what kind of lines would work best on you.

Since we all pretty much think you have ZERO game and rely on friends and ef buddies to toot your horn we’ve come up with a few lines we think might work best for you. And since the likelihood of you using them is like.00005% I wanted to share some of the lines we thought would best work on you!

Feel free to print these out and laminate them and tuck them in between the pages of Independent People or your latest script. Great prop by the way. Your pick up lines:

  • Hi, I’m Robert Pattinson
  • Yea, I played that dude Edward Cullen in Twilight
  • Wanna see my painted on abs?
  • My Dad’s name is Dick wanna see mine?
  • Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a BJ? No? Ya wanna go to In-N-Out?
  • Wanna see my hot pocket?
  • I’m a homeless hobo, wanna take me home with you? No, really I don’t have a house.

Lines UC and I might use on you… My RPattz pick up lines:

  • Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Buttcrack Santa exactly what I want for Christma
  • Do you know what’d look good on you? Me.
  • Ef Me!
  • Twilight? No.. haven’t heard of it
  • Hey.. .aren’;t you that guy from The Summer House?
  • “Can i microwave your carrot?’
  • Hey, are you Tom Sturridge?
You come here often?

You come here often?

Recently some followers and friends on Twitter and our 1st Single Ladies Panel exchanged their very own RPattz pick up lines. I’ve pulled some of the best ones…

  • “Interested in seeing my “o” face?” – Brooke
  • “You’re an actor? really? Well is that a script in your pocket or are u just happy to see me?” Marta
  • “Twilight? never heard of it…so, um, let’s fuck” – Brooke
  • I’d buy a bottle of whiskey… the whole damned thing… from the bar ( I refuse to meet him anywhere but a bar) and hand it over to him and say “dude, i’ve seen what they do to you. YOU NEED THIS” then walk away – Calli
  • “I read that book. It’s not the author’s finest work.” – Freya
  • Hey, do you have a light? – janetrigs
  • “I won’t judge your skills in bed, by any video of you running or playing sports” – Brooke

So Rob dear, do you think any of these would work on you? and if we ever meet you and you say “Are those astronaut pants? Cause your butt is outta this world!” We’ll know you’ve been reading us!

What’s your sign?

Follow the cut to see a very special video and let us know what pick up like you’d use on Rob!

Thanks to the beautiful and always awesome Biel for dedicating this lovely and HOT video to us and pals Gozde at Robsessed and JAG at RAOR! We LOVE you BIEL!!! You make the BEST BEST BEST videos and we couldn’t be more happy to post them!

Did you see we were mentioned on the MTV movie blog? Go read and leave a comment!


  1. You left out the best pick-up line for Rob:

    “You got a little English in you? Would you like some?”

    I can see him using that and thinking it’s very clever.

    • For some reason, I imagine he sounds exactly like Austin Powers when he’s flirting too.

      • Rob: “Do I make you horny?”

        Me: “Um, yeah. Yeah, you do.”

      • austin powers!!! WIN! I love secret agent Rob. I would love to see him in a bond flick, and then my line would be like ” hey my name Ivanna, Ivanna blowyabehindadumpster.”

        • lololol “Ivanna blowyoubehindadumpster” !!! freakin classy !!!

          • priceless

    • ha ha my favorite :
      ” Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a BJ? No? Ya wanna go to In-N-Out”

      LMAO.. ,.. I’ll never be able to grab a burger at In-N-Out again without laughing like a giggling silly girly.


    • LOL… that was actually one of my dad’s pick-up lines!

      “Hey, do you have any Mexican in you? No? Would you like one?”

      Yeah… sounds cheesy, but it actually worked! And, don’t ask why I know this stuff. But, my dad was kind of a charming player… too bad it didn’t rub off on me.

  2. JSYK, LTR/LTT is part of my daily fix. I work hard and rarely get to party (sob!) so I have to get my funnies online sometimes. Thanks lovely ladies.

    This post made me LOL once again. And congrats on being referenced in the MTV blog, I am not surprised. As I said to you yesterday Moon, I thought your letter regarding the Victoria situation was extremely well done and captured most of the fans’ sentiments.

  3. My best lines are outrageous lies, like “I invented Twitter.” I think he’d like that, since he’s attracted to crazy women. Maybe I’d ask him to demo the TUCK for me.

    I would definitely not cop to having seen “Twilight” more than once. Of course, my cover will be blown if he happens to see my car with the “Drives Like A Cullen” bumper sticker on.

    • I’d try to play it like I wasn’t a fan. Then my Twilight key chain would fall out of my purse and my cover would be blown.

      …And then Rob would be blown.

    • DEMO THE TUCK! brill

  4. Calli wins. Hands down. So awesome.

  5. ALL of these lines are amazing. And I’ve considered using at least two of them on Rob myself. For when we meet in a bar.

    Anyone remember that interview with Rob (don’t feel like looking for it) where he claimed that his only pick up line was to propose to women? That would also work.

    But here’s my favorite, modified from the Law of Chuck Norris (of course!):

    Robert Pattinson doesn’t need to ask a woman out. He simply points to her and says, “Now.”

  6. me: “can i give you an australian kiss?”
    rob: “what’s an australian kiss?”
    me: “its like a french kiss, but down under.”

    or just

    “i do not like twilight”

    • LOL….naughty girl!!! 🙂 That’s a good one.

    • @ Vi;
      I think rOBBIE said the same thing about “Portugese kissing”, or kissing “Portuguese” style..
      must be some special kinda lip lock…

  7. a line for rob: “are you a vegetarian? no? so you wont mind me sticking a piece of meat in you?”

  8. “Can i microwave your carrot?’ LOVE IT! LOL!

    I would say:
    “Hi, I just wanna try one thing.”

    • Ooo Jena I love that one. But Id like to try about 20 things…over and over.
      heehee 😉

    • Jena wins. We all go home.

  9. “I’ll show you my Pocket Eddie, if you show me yours”.

    LMFAO at all of this posting! A great way to start the weekend……

    • See you in 5!! : )

      • Dallas here I come…..

  10. Love this post, you forgot
    “I just got out of prison”

    • How about… “I just got out of Comic Con.”

      Instant pity for Rob.

  11. Brilliant Moon. Since I cannot, I will fast & pray that YOU can one day ask Rob one or all of these things

  12. For crazy bunny boilers after Rob, I think this pick up line seems appropriate – ‘Does this cloth smell of chloroform to you?’

    Theres another pick up line i’d use on Rob, courtesy of Jimmy Carr – ‘Did it hurt when you landed from heaven?…’ (If that works than all is dandy, but if he looks disinterested, it would continue into…) ‘…’cos it looks like you landed on your FACE.’

    Love the post today ladies!

  13. You know, I’m not buying it that our boy has no game. He can tell us all he wants that he can’t get a date, but I’m skeptical.

    I think if he just uses the non-verbal approach he’s good to go.

    If I got hit with the sex eyes from across the room, I’d be humping his leg within seconds. No need for words.

    • I really believe he has no game. I’ve seen too many interviews where he just blurts out whatever is on his mind. Even his co-stars think he’s awkward and somewhat goofy.

      I find it endearing. I agree with you that the non-verbal approach would work best.

      • I have to agree with Toooldforthis. He’s smolders when he just stands there, but then he opens his mouth and giggles like a school girl. Don’t get me wrong – I love it when he talks and giggles, but it’s sexy in a whole other way. It is very endearing.

        How about… “Rob, I would never call you ‘Edward’.” (I totally would… by mistake.)

    • f_ingdelicious

      “If I got hit with the sex eyes from across the room, I’d be humping his leg within seconds. No need for words.”

      I don’t think he realizes he makes women sex-crazed Robaholics when he does simple things like stand there with his feet pointing in 2 different directions, licks his lip *THUD*, constantly touches his mouth, runs his long fingers through his hair, gives the sex eyes, smokes (oh those lucky, lucky ciggies!), struts his stuff around (think RomeRob)……..Gah. I don’t remember what my point was ?????

      Oh, right, I was agreeing with your comment. 😉 If Rob ever hit me with the sex eyes, I’d pounce on him and be dragin’ him behind the nearest available dumpster!

      • Exactly, addictedtorob!

        The word vomit and adorkable physical quirks are part of his charm – he just needs to work it.

        All he’d have to do is trip over his own feet and 20 of us would come running to help him up and kiss his…ummm…boo-boos.

        • His adorkablness is like the “Axe Effect”.

  14. We need VickyB to log on from TwiCon and give us her best lines. She’s got them…perhaps she’s using them on the cast as we speak!

  15. I would just hope if I ran into him in a dimly light bar I would already be alittle drunk so I can speak on any level.

  16. Hey, random hot guy, your clothes look dirty, why don’t we go to my house and put them in washing machine …. and just hang out … while you’re there all naked…… let’s just see what happens

  17. “Can i microwave your carrot?” BRILLIANT!!!

    But you know… he does not need any line, all he have to do is smile and stare at me, and I smile back and then I know that he knows that I know what he knows I want him to do… with me… to me… on top of me… wait… i got lost after the smile and the stare…

    although I think I might add: “I think I’ve seen a cool dumpster behind this bar”

    • Hahaha!

      You win. The end.

  18. Brilliant! Rob is so animated with his hands(and face) when he talks, I love it!

    I’m so lame I can’t really think of any pick up lines. I’ve never picked up men before, LOL.

    I guess for me I’ll just act cute and pretend I had no idea who he was. I heard he likes southern accent so I’ll talk in a long southern drawl. 🙂

  19. I don’t think Rob needs to say much. When he smiles and puts his hand in his hair that’s a fine pick up line for me.

    I would tell him something lame like: “are you for real?” because I am still trying to process the fact that someone like Rob exists…

  20. “Are you Tom Sturrige?”

    That one is the best. You just know he would be too flustered to run away and you would totally be in.

    I would probably use my old standby that I mentioned in the flat yesterday. Offering a man a drink, then dumping it down my cleavage. Believe it or not, it works. Though I’d suggest fishing the ice out of your cocktail first.

  21. He defs could get away with this old goodie:

    “That dress is very becoming on you, but if I were that close to your body, I’d be coming too.”

    Rob, if you’re reading this: Don’t use it (except on me – I think it would work).

  22. My pick up lights sounds so dumb now, but I was trying to be realistic…..cause I think I would atleast get to talk to him. But I would except said light for my ciggy from Nick or Steph, just as long as I got to be near HHH.

    I hope I hear him one day say, “My Dad’s name is Dick, wanna see mine?” That killed.

    • Pick up line about needing a light (insert correction above)…dammit I need more coffee

    • OH MY GOD, I wrote except instead of accept, where are the corrective BOTS. I need to learn to self edit before I hit submit!

  23. LMAO … his first line “Hi. I’m Robert Pattinson.” LMAO.

    I’d use the ol’ reverse psychology (awesome tool btw according to Michael Scott):

    Me:I don’t know what all these tweens and cougars see in you. I don’t find you fuckable at all.
    Rob: ORLY?

    • Good one! You’ll have him setting out to prove to you how hot he is!! Lucky you!

    • Michael Scott is a genius.

      I can totally see this line working. It would set off some ridiculous flirting (the kind that makes your face flush and your panties wet) and the night would culminate in the most awesome “I’ll show you just how fuckable I am” sex EVER.

  24. i loved this one:

    “I won’t judge your skills in bed, by any video of you running or playing sports” – Brooke

    this set me in a laff attack!:

    “if we ever meet you and you say ‘Are those astronaut pants? Cause your butt is outta this world!’ We’ll know you’ve been reading us!”

  25. OMG! I have no words. Only side splitting laughter!

    Game-less Rob makes my knees weak, but these pick up lines were beyond funny! Maybe the hint of truth makes them so irresistible!

    Thanks for the laughs…I’ll be back later with my contributions. 😉

  26. Because I love you guys I’m going to share the best successful pickup line I’ve ever used.

    “It’s my birthday and all I want is for you to come home with me tonight.”

    It actually was my birthday the night that worked but feel free to lie. Of course, I’ll only be turning 25 when I use that on Rob.

  27. ROB: Hello
    Me: Oh, Rob, you had me at “Hello”!

  28. Hmmm not so subtle pick up lines, ok I’m there…

    Taking a page out of Dirty Harry;

    Hey baby, come on and “make my day, “.. evening, night and morning too”

    or… whisper in his ear as I lean across to pick up my drink:
    “ohhh baby your so fine you blow my mind.. how about we go somewhere where I can blow …yours”.. (ahem).

  29. I gotta confess all these pick up lines are making me a little horny…and wistful for my days as a single gal. If only I’d had as much game as some of you seem to have. I would have gotten laid a lot more!

  30. Hilarious post! “Hi, I’m Robert Pattinson”
    I’m not sure whether Rob would have any game, but like it matters, just look at him, he doesn’t need to talk.

    As for hitting on him..
    “I noticed a dumpster in the back alley.. Rendez-vous in five?”
    hahah.. how could he resist

    • @ Leah
      Dumpster dive bonging!! YES!
      Gives a whole different meaning to “dirty, nasty sex” .. biblically speaking.

      Another entery for the “Urban Dictionary”…

  31. Since UC is married, these are Rob’s pickup lines to you, Moon:

    ~”I love your blog- can I show you MINE?”

    ~”Wanna see what’s really in my dadcase?”

    ~”I wrote you a letter”

    ~”Christmas comes early this year”

    ~”I’ll show YOU how to break it down Vanity-Fair-Style”

    ~”What’s a special hug?”

    ~”TomStu’s got nothing on you” (haha, it rhymes)

    ~”I’ll show you somewhere your Edward action figure HASN’T been…. *yet”

    • hahaha these are really good!

  32. “Bet I can make the peen sparkle.”


    “Let’s go watch Last Tango in Paris and be productive.”

    • @superhumanmoron –

      hahah.. there’s that word again… “PEEN”… sparkle!!!! LMAO.. Good one!

  33. PS: love that Rob vid. and the music…Beil is the master! (mistress)

    The ending though left me with an odd… vibe/feeling, that funny lost look he had on his face… reminds me of one of those old John Cassavettes movies …

    Well, maybe it was just a bad vibe. I need a 3rd cup o’coffee.
    x H

  34. I would totally use these two (I am in no way a creative person so these aren’t really meant to be funny):

    “I can think of a non-musical use for those long fingers of yours” (no but seriously girls, I can only think very, very VERY dirty things when looking at his beautifully long fingers……………….)

    “I want you to make me walk funny in the morning”

    Now, how am I supposed to do any work this afternoon after this?

    • “I want you to make me walk funny in the morning”


  35. ‘i want to microwave your carrot’ has real class, Moon [& then she added sub voce ‘untill it explodes’]—great post! ❤

  36. I’m going back to reading the “hose em down article”… after reading postings from this lot…I need it.



  37. OK so whilst watching this devine viedo from Biel, I mindlessly devoured like 57 strawberries without even noticing it until it was over, my ‘berry basket was empty.
    WTF GIRLS! I never get tired of this man’s face…

    • Just to prove I’ve got an extremely dirty mind, when you said “my berry basket was empty”, my mind went straight to the gutter. I totally thought of something else. Oh yes I did. And you know exactly what I was referring to.

      What’s happening to me?

      • I know! TRUST – I am thniking the same thing everyday that I log on here and read this site daily – “what is happening to me? what IS WRONG WITH ME?” I wonder if the show on A&E will have an INTERVENTION episode about someone addicted to ROB.

        • My gay husband/BFF constantly threatens to volunteer me for that show.

    • Well then, there’s your line for when you meet Rob: “Hey, baby, why don’t you come over here and fill up my berry basket.”

    • @ sanpatriciosspirit- :))
      You need to go back and read the “hose me down” stuff from yesterday to cool down your .. berry hot self.

      I sometimes wonder if he’s feeling overwhelmed by all the sex Karma we send his way.. its gotta be overwhelming. Poor boy’s gonna explode. I know I would.

  38. Or how about: “You look like an orgasm.”

  39. Don’t forget the classic “your pants would look great…on my bedroom floor.” Or something to that effect.

    • “That outfit looks great on you, but it would look better on my bedroom floor.”

      I like it.

  40. I’m gonna go with…..

    “Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven’t we met before?”

  41. and my pick up line would be…

    ”Mind if I get drunk with you?”

  42. or…
    ”I appreciate this whole seduction thing you’ve got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I’m a sure thing.”

  43. “My Dad’s name is vagina, do you want to see mine?” * **


    Just a little guide;)

  44. Since I think Rob would like the jokes, I’m also going with:

    If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.

    Are you an astronaut? Because you’re out of this world.

    Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can really see myself in them.

    I’ve gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.

    Let’s have breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

    Is your name Pepsi? Cause’ I’ve gotta have it.

    Do you know what winks and is the lay of a lifetime? *wink*

    And now you know why I’m single…

  45. I like “Twilight? never heard of it…so, um, let’s fuck”
    I’d say that to Rob!
    And for him to use “Hi, I’m Robert Pattinson” 🙂

  46. “I’ve seen Twilight many times, bought the Soundtrack and all the merchandise stuff,
    now I think it’s time you paid for a beer.”

  47. PPL: “You should go here (*points at Pattinson*)…the pants have spoken!”

    PPL: “Wanna get cozy in my pants?”

    Rob: “I could dress up like Edward …”

    Rob: “I’m an actor…I rock role playing…just ‘sayin’ ”

    Rob:”Do you like Ray-Ban’s?”

    Rob:”If only you’d have worn those damn sexy Pattinson Pants…”

    Rob:”I stole the pea coat.”

    Rob:”My volvo is outside…and you can drive…”

  48. “I’d buy a bottle of whiskey… the whole damned thing… from the bar ( I refuse to meet him anywhere but a bar) and hand it over to him and say “dude, i’ve seen what they do to you. YOU NEED THIS” then walk away – Calli”

    This one’s my favorite for some reason…

  49. […] Robert Pattinson Pick Up Lines Dear Rob, I just got back from making a deposit at the bank and of course what should be a normal every day thing got […] […]

  50. “I’d walk a million miles for one of your smiles…and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.”

    • On my knees, over broken glass…

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