Before we get on to the “serious” posts by grown-up Rob lovers, we thought we’d share a fun letter “Rob” received that we filed away into the “crazies” folder. Enjoy!
I know it’s nonesense to write to you , but i at least will be tried. So I want to contact Kristen Stewart. Well i don’t know why. I think i’m completele insane ;D But i think that if i will be written to you, i will be much more calm. So here’s my story: I was normal until i whatched film ,,Twilight” which have changed my life. I can’t get sleep till i look at picture of Kristen. I don’t know what’s happening 🙂 I think i get in love. You might are laughing now, but i don’t care about that. I’ve google’ed and searched all the internet, because i wanted to find any adress of Kristen. I know that she’s older than me but i don’t care. By the way I’m 17( and a half :D). So I’ve found this e-mail, so i want to try my luck…
Of course i would like to see her, but i know it wont happen. So the 1 thing i want in this large world is that i what to chat with Kris. Don’t laugh, i’m serious. It would be my dream come true. If you could show this tiny letter, to her i would be the luckiest man* in the world. 🙂
Have a good day,
Biggest fan of Kristen
*until he said “luckiest man in the world” I thought this was from a girl…!
Now onto the “serious” stuff. And by “serious stuff” I mean a letter gushing of love to Moon & I:
Dear UC & Moon,
I can’t remember how I found your blog yesterday…I’m sure I searched something ridiculous along the lines of “Poodle Wig” or “Banana Hammock” and got directed to your site. LOVING it so far. Anywho, I was checking out the archives and saw something about “The Tuck”- I didn’t need to go any farther, I knew what it was. I’d seen it…more times than I care to admit, but not unlike a car accident, I had to look.
So here I sat, at work, on my ca.1997 Compaq POS computer and clicked on “The Tuck”. I should have known better…Murphy’s Law ALWAYS applies to me and the crap I do…ALWAYS. So wouldn’t you know that at the moment “The Tuck” pops up (well not so much popped up but you know what I mean) the damn ‘puter froze up. Yep…right there for everyone to see was a picture of my Future Ex Husband, and his junk is missing. No matter how much clicking on X or BACK I did…there he stood looking like a a serial killer with a fat girl in his basement. I finally just had to pull the plug.
I spent the rest of the day explaining to my already concerned co-workers that it was from a movie about Dali (like that really makes it any better) and that YES I’m sure he has a peen…although I’ve never actually seen it (I’m fairly sure it’s long and narrow like the rest of him…dammit) and NO I didn’t think he was gay in real life, and no I don’t find “The Tuck” sexy.
So that, ladies, was my first experience with your Blog. It is now saved to my favorites!
Read a “Letter to Rob” (cause that is the name of this blog, although we’d rather it be “Letters to UC & Moon”) after the jump!
Remember that great post that UC and Moon post a couple of months ago, the “Hose ’em down” one?
Well, it happens that this afternoon I was about to watering my lawn while thinking of how damn fine you looked in May on the red carpet for that auction you did in Cannes; seriously, you should definitely start wearing that tux more often. So anyway, I was dreaming about the day when I’ll become your plus-one to those events, and to be honest, I wasn’t paying too much attention to the hose that was starting to spray the water, when it started to move like a snake- the kind of snake that comes out from a wicker basket with an old guy playing the flute. So, the hose was moving like that and the water flow was getting more and more intense, when all of the sudden, the hose was in a vertical position and spinning and I couldn’t move to catch it because it’s fall here (in Chile), it’s very chilly and I was soaking wet, from head to toe.
And then it hit me. There I was, standing in my backyard completely wet, when somehow, some mysterious divine force managed to hose me down, removing any thought of lust naivete towards you, Rob.
Obviously, I rushed inside the house, looked for warm towels and dry clothes and had a cup of hot lemonade, b/c my immune system is very weak.
But I’m warning you Rob my dear, if by any chance, I get to pay a visit to the doc, I’ll be sending you the bill.
Kisses (And if it goes well, maybe it’ll turn into something a bit more…[name that quote!]),
You love us you really do!! Well and Kristen too…
UC and Moon