Posted by: Bekah | July 7, 2009

I would do Rob anywhere

Dear LTR-readers,

We must apologize. So often we forget that a large number of our readership are mothers.  Because we don’t have children, we often forget about the struggles a mother can face with entertaining her children.  When we received the latest letter from long-time LTR fan Zephyersky, we knew this was the perfect solution to balance motherhood & the entertainment of children with a potentially unhealthy obsession with Robert Pattinson.  Zephyersky was inspired to write a sort-of children’s book by a LTR post from last week entitled: “Do you want to DO Rob.” We present this to you, the mothers of LTR who we love so very dearly, as a gift for you & your children to share. In the beautiful form of the great Dr. Suess, we present, thanks to Zephyersky, I would Do Rob anywhere.

You’re welcome,

UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown

I would do Rob anywhere

1 boat

2 running3 rain4 dark5 plane6 car7 tree8 so hot9 box10 fox11 house12 spouse13 here14 there15 anywhereThanks Zephyersky!

See if UC likes vampires over on LTT

What’s shakin’ in The Forum today!?


  1. “I have permission from my spouse”


    F*cking classic.

    • Yeah I thought that was Perfect !! LOL A total Classic! Wow LTR MOMS are so Creative!

    • Perfect line, glad I don’t have a spouse to ask 😛 ha!


    *Can’t form sentences* Bwahahahahahahahahahaha, I agree with lovebeingme, f*cking classic.

    Rob, Anywhere. Anytime.

  3. Clever and fantastic. My kids are going to love this! 😉

    • It is perfect reading material for children everywhere!

  4. Thanks so much! I’m a mom and I’m gonna show this to my DH who is jealous of Rob. My DD is only 22 months old and seems to be showing Robsession too! She has a nickname for him and she goes berserk when she sees a photo of him. She wants to kiss it and hold onto it! Now, ok I didn’t teach her that but she has seen me going online looking at pictures of him….that’s it :-).

    Love the photo of him lounging inside the car! Sexy!

  5. That was effin’ fantastic! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Can’t stop giggling!

    • ditto

  6. hahah love it!!

  7. This will be my cure for a long day working with children. Whenever I feel a little overwhelmed or if am wondering why this one children refuses to follow directions. I will simply think about all the places I would do rob.

    Another great post!

  8. I’m always on the lookout for new and interesting reading materials for students.I plan on suggesting the Rob Suessical Readers for the KG and GR 1 reading programs at my school-really b/c of the lovely pictures-very important in children’s lit.:)

    Oh and I’d put a copy in the grown-up ladies toilet too.
    We have really bad magazines in there and I’ve been contemplating sticking some Rob porn in there-just to see how many others I can infect with acute fondness.

  9. Thanks for thinking of us Moms! Should make it interesting when I have to red “one fish, two fish” to my son later today! I will be secretly thinking of this post.

    Love you guys!

    • Or… just READ him this post! will he really know!? 🙂

  10. Well, I’ve just shared this book with 2 of my 3 sons.
    Matthew {18 with girlfriend} has rolled his eyes and walked out saying “I’m not bringing any of my mates around anymore”….
    and Chris {19 and gay} has said “Hhhmmm, I’m begining to see what you like in him Mum…..”
    Rob’s appeal goes accross genders folks….
    Thanks for the booklet will enjoy with as many children as possible……..<3 it, ❤ it, ❤ it.

    • Exceptional taste like his Mama! xo

    • NICE!

  11. Bwahahahahahahahah!




  12. Just like I quote Green Eggs & Ham all the time I can now quote this and not get looked at like I am mom-crazy.

    Thank you Zephyer, I do like Rob, the man, I do.

  13. I’d buy that book!

  14. That first picture makes me thing of the Andy Samberg/T-Pain SNL short: “I’m on a boat motherf*cker take a look at me”

    I would do Rob in all of those places, though in the tree would be tricky business.

    • Tricky but sooo goooood!!!!!!

    • I can’t look at a boat anymore without thinking of that song. Cracks me up everytime.

      Tux photos are just a bonus.

  15. Bwaahahahaha!

    I might have to print his and bind it. HARDcover.

    • good idea! Maybe we can sell it at urban outfitters….

  16. freakin awesome!!!!!!

    ❤ the part about the hubby!! haha

    man o man do i want to do this guy! ❤

    • I Never Felt So In Love Before
      Promise Baby, You’ll Love Me Forevermore
      I Swear I’m Keepin’ You Satisfied
      ‘Cause You’re The One For Me . . .
      -michael jackson (RIP)

      this song’s in my head.. we can apply it to rob, non?


      • That made me think of when I was reminiscing to some vintage Michael Jackson in the showing this morning…. was SINGING to ‘Pretty Young Thing’ but DREAMING of Rob…
        “I want to love you,
        Pretty young thing,
        You need some lovin’
        Tender lovin’ care..”

        LOL Well, he’s kinda young to me (9 yrs younger?) but he sure is pretty and by pretty I mean HOT

  17. freakin awesome!!!!!!

    ❤ the part about the hubby!! haha

    so ive been listenin to a lot of michael jackson lately (RIP) and thought of my fav song to sing to rob (the guy's version of course)

    I Feel Your Fever From Miles Around
    I'll Pick You Up In My Car And We'll Paint The Town
    Just Kiss Me Baby And Tell Me Twice
    That You're The One For Me

  18. This definitely made my morning!!

    “And even if Kellan says he runs like a goat”

    Fucking priceless…

  19. “and even if Kellen says he runs like a goat” LMAO! Priceless!

  20. White tee shirt
    Button Fly (gah!)
    Black tee shirt

    The End.

    Not really (course not)…
    In the shorts pic…he and my husband have the same legs. Exactly. My husband is 6’2, and lanky and these are his legs. Pale, hairy and all. Not sure how I feel about this.

    Oh, and yes…annnnnnywhere!

  21. That is THE BEST!! When is it being published? 😉

    Thanks for the great laugh!

  22. OMG! I love, love LOVE this!! On so many levels – as Mum, teacher, Rob-lover (boat pic=yum!)

    Though… will probably not read it to Mr 3 yr old nor show to spouse (disapproving clicking tongue and rolling eyes too annoying) LOL

    That’s just too funny – off to read it again!

  23. Love it!

  24. I absolutely ♥ this.
    Nice work Zephyersky! 🙂

  25. OMG. I love this! Brilliant! Great job Zephyersky!

  26. Once again, a warning to put away all liquids before reading would be nice. 😉

    That was hilarious. I’m printing this out, copying and pasting as well, and sharing with as many people as I can.

    • Thanks. I was happy to share it with all of you.

  27. EXACTLY!!!

  28. Absolutely pure GENIUS!!!!! LMAO I don’t have children but this would definitely be something I don’t think I’d be able to share with them if I did…once again thanks for a great post!! 😀

  29. Hey!
    Have you girls heard about this Aussie magazine thing?
    The one about kristen Stewart? I’m shocked that they’d actually write about that .. I mean Kristen is definitely NOT going to be quiet about it ..Can you feel a lawsuit on the way? Yay sounds interesting .. I really wanna hear what Kristen is gonna say about this .. or her publicists

  30. That was so funny! And the um hot, hot pic is interesting! NoIDidNotLookThere! YesIDid!!!!

  31. I love the random pic of the spouse! Good to hear you got permission. Me too!!

    • yes, the spouse pic was a perfect addition!

  32. It is my responsibility as a teacher to encourage children to read. Normally getting parents involved in their children’s education is difficult, but this book may just be what I need to get my moms motivated to read to their kids. Thank you @Zephyersky and LTR for reaching out to America’s youth…one hot Rob pic at a time!

    • Just doing what I can for the youth of the world

    • you are welcome

  33. you are the best….

  34. Oh geez! This was hilarious! Absolutely love the creativity…and hugs to your very understanding spouse, too!

  35. Om my Holy HELLLLLLLLLLL, that was funny.

    Yes, yes indeed, I would do Rob anywhere. I have permission from my spouse as well, though he is holding fast to his belief that Rob is gay.

    • My son is now with your husband {re my post above}
      just for completely different reasons!!!!!!!!!!

      • @Ruby—-Hahaha!! My gay BFF is having none of it, though he did go to Little Ashes with me and loved it, he says Rob does nothing for him–can you even comprehend that? My friend is also 54, so he may have said something like “little boy? I need a man!” LOL.

        • Well my Chris {20 in Sept} is the right age bracket, more than me cry, cry, cry, but is still not sold on Rob? Duh!!!! I can’t understand it at all…but he is a very good enabler and has watched a good few interviews with me and says that the gaydar bell rings loudly….. I close my ears and carry on lusting Chris is young he makes mistakes….not often, but he makes mistakes…..

          • I actually went to Little Ashes with 4 gay guys and I could only get ONE of them to say they would not kick him out of bed for eating crackers…….

            They are all in their 40s and 50s, but, like I said, not into how young he is…so who knows.

  36. This is gold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMFAO!!!! My four year old DD will tell anyone who cares to listen that mummy’s boyfriend is Robert Pattinson and she is so proud of the fact! She is gonna LOVE this (almost asmuch as me but not quite!)

  37. Loved it!!!

  38. We are raising a whole new generation of Rob lovers! This just reminded me of a Whitney Houston song “I believe the children are our future, Teach them well and let them lead the way, Show them all the beauty Rob has inside, Give them a sense of pride about ROB, Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be” Love the post!

  39. No kids, but I do have a five-year-old goddaughter who is into Dr. Seuss.

    I think her mother would approve if I were to share this.

  40. That is so funny. I wrote it in the car on our way to our family outing on the 4th and I tolld the kids I was saying “I like Rob in….” My 5 year old Daughter suggested I say “I would kiss Rob…” My DH rolled his eyes and said “not her too.”

    • Priceless ZepherSky!

      I had to gag myself to prevent my maniacal laughter from disturbing my teenagers ….

  41. Zephyersky – just brilliant! I LOL’ed so many times. You’ve clearly read Green Eggs and Ham as many times as I have.

    But I’m just sorry you couldn’t think of a rhyme for dumpster. Maybe, “I would do you by the dumpster. You see, you’re the one I want to hump, sir.”? Not quite in the right cadence for Seuss.

    Anyway, fabulous work. And so true! I would do him here or there or anywhere. And I also have permission!!!!

    • I’d do you by the dumpster.
      It’s YOU I want to hump,sir.

  42. Hahaha genius!! This is the LTR that I love 😉

  43. I love this so much! I’m in work doing that open mouth silent laugh thing and rocking back and forth.

    I think I’ll go and read it again. Here’s hoping I don’t snort though … that’s just too hard to tie to a work related reason.

  44. Oh my gosh! I loved this so much. So very true.

  45. I’ve got two kids myself. Me likey this book.

  46. I’m Sorry I posted it once I swear ! But my PC was in such a mess ! I’m Really Sorry Moon & UC for messing up the comments section that was a total PC glitch

  47. This post should include a warning not to avoid drinking anything (or orange huince in particular because dang, that stings) while reading. Actually it might just be a disclaimer for the entire site…anyhow that was one of the most hilarious posts in a while! Love Zephyrsky’s brillance and love UC and Moon for letting us all bask in it!

    • There should be a disclaimer in the banner for this site, “Do not ever read with liquid in your mouth!! You will ruin your keyboard!! You have been warned!!!”

  48. Yep, that about sums it up. Well done!

  49. OMG I would sooooo do him in a car!!

  50. That last photo always makes me think dirty thoughts… about size… and stuff.

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