Posted by: Bekah | June 26, 2009

Robert Pattinson in The Bad Mother’s Handbook

Dear LTRers,
Yes there’s gossip about Robsten. Yes Rob kissed some stupid blonde at a circus. Yes Rob wore the same outfit twice this week. We don’t care. We want to discuss The Bad Mother’s Handbook.

Do you remember when we confessed to being the worst Rob Pattinson fans ever because we only saw Harry Potter (before we liked him) and Twilight? Well, we’ve been feeling guilty, so we decided to watch all his movies & review them for all our loyal readers. You’re welcome. Enjoy the following conversation we had while watching Rob’s parts in The Bad Mother’s Handbook (or as UC keeps calling it, at first accidentally and then afterwards for fun- cuz it’s hilar: The Bad Mother’s Handjob)

(We watched the whole movie, but this vid shows just Rob’s parts. Watch it and read along, after the jump)

Can I borrow your pencil? I'll give it back...maybe

Can I borrow your pencil? I'll give it back...maybe

Guildford (0:00)
UC: Lemme pull it up (that’s what she said)
: gotta start off a good break down with a that’s what she said
: Okay, he’s from gillford- let’s research that
: 6 form? that’s the grade they’re in
: let’s research that  too. Guildford is in surrey- (which is the dodgy part)
: 6-form can be from ages 16-18
: Weird. why don’t they have normal school
: but dude, from the first scene on he looks SOOOO tall and lanky- he’s tall for an actor but he’s not THAT tall
: why do they make him cover his face?
: is the camera guy short?
: cuz when you don’t see his face, he seems SO dorky and nast. Then you see it and you realize he’s gorgeous
: Is that normal in the UK? You get like a school buddy?
: maybe?
: can you imagine getting rob as a school buddy?! “um yea lemme show you the back alley where we can make out”
: i would borrow his pencil…. all the time (that’s what she said)
: or the closet in the choir room- show him THE LOO

awkwardturtledaniel_galeNo Friends (0:14)
: awkward turtle. Poor Daniel. Having a bad week
: cuz his mom cheated on his dad
: I died when I saw that part the first time- I wanted to hug daniel
: not even the special kind of hug (although I wanted that too) but just give him a hug and be his friend
: parents cheating, made you move to some school, your school buddy’s a slut and knocked up
: and won’t talk to you 😦 He needs to come to America (where we have normal school) I can show him what America has to offer
: who’s the dude he mentions? George foreman?
: george Forman? Jinx
: as in the grills? He loves eliminating the fat from his burgers
: I think its the musician the old ladies end up listening to
: George Formby
: OHHH that explains his air guitar thing later George Formby sr “performed in the EDWARDIAN music halls”
: um coincidence?
: NOPE- nothing ever is

It hurts to bad to get so hard

It hurts too bad to get so hard

The first Kiss (0:34)
: aw! Does he say f*ck it? Or bucket?
: its all intertwined
: he’s red in his cute face
: so dude can you imagine this nerd boy bringing you flowers and chocolate AT SCHOOL!? 1st hand embarrassing
: He says “sexual aroused” then KISS! Oh! his face… He always looks pained when kissing. And he has PERFECT skin! It’s flawless
: and SOOO tall when he walks out
: Why does he always look so pained? Do you think he gets painful erections?
: his Feet ARE HUGE
: yea cause he’s waddling
: The principle videographer is short, clearly. He’s NOT that tall!
: the DOOR thing!
: so daniel- such a daniel thing to do

Moon: can we take 2 seconds to talk about her hair? The weird stringy things in the WHOLE movie? WTF
: i did that in 10th grade
: seriously, it bugged me the entire time. And I thought it was like a british thing cause i’ve seen it on other girls
: maybe- I’m british at heart
: British at hair

thevelvetnumberWith the grannies (2:23)
: Did he bring JAM to her house? Or Salsa? From trader joes? And he dresses UP in that velvet number!
: its totes that chili pepper stuff you put on cream cheese. Daniel AND Rob LOVE velvet
: he sat on the record player! And he asks HOW LATE she is!
: love that he’s staring at her boobs
: Here comes Daniel to save the day-
: ok can we talk about how this is the best? and he went and got her a pregnancy test?
: He’s the best best friend. He’s wearing RED velvet with a PINK sweater! So cute. So Adam Brody (minus the velvet)
: SO Daniel Gale… “I’m not the one who got you pregnant” (but i wish i was!) Actually Daniel’s not stupid he’d use a condom
: seriously. he’s smart. he’s going to university (which should just be called college)
: his dad is a doctor
: his mom is a WASP. A drunk WASP
: and he randomly knows the symptoms of pregnancy
: Doesn’t every one know the symptoms? Sick, Gaining weight. bam- baby. The end. Miserable for 18 years. The End.
: crying, screaming, bitching teenagers. The end
: have fun moms. I’ll take my perky boobs & cats
: i’ll be off shagging rob on a tropical beach while you’re running after 2 yr olds
clearly we do not want children

UC: of course he has a hanky
: i bet it was monogrammed
: you know it was

Hey Slut (4:21)
: HAHAHAH hey loser, HEY SLUT
: i just DIED at slut
: Did he say PUB?
: I guess. How old is drinking age? “I can google it” oh WOW- in England: under 5 years old may be given alcohol on medical order. 5+ can consume at home. 5-18 cannot drink on licensed premises. Under 14 cannot go to a bar without a person over the age of 28. 16+ may purchase drinks with a meal.
: so if you’re 15 and have a 28yr old creeper you can go to the bar?!
: 18 + you can consume in a ‘pub’
: dude whats with america??
: we suck. Decision made- moving to the UK. (or anywhere else- Antarctica- nothing to do there but drink & eff ice fisherman)

UC: let’s go to London when we make our first big blog paycheck….and stalk barnes. South Barnes (you know why)
: totes going to Barnes on our first blogger paycheck. Where else would you want to travel besides the exotic location of barnes?
: nowhere. That’s my ideal vacation spot
: how about GILFORD too?

Moon: love that she drags daniel along to the ultrasound- her personal bitch
: she grabs HIS hand

Visting Daniel’s House (5:19)
: poor daniel. and his bitch mom. Hate her. And Fraiser is his dad
: wheres the crotchety ol dad from Fraiser?
: mom killed him

Gosh darnit you're a stupid pregnant teenager KISS HIM

Gosh darnit you stupid pregnant teenager KISS HIM

UC: i’d be desperate to go back to guilford too.. like his mom
: Me too. I’d drink if i wasn’t in gillford- the only other place i’d be happy is south barnes
: guildford is where it’s at. Or in south Barnes. In the dodgy end
: KISS HER- “sometimes i think you’re the only thing keeping me sane” KISS HIM BACK! The baby won’t slide out!!
: OH MY GOD!!!!!!! COME ON!
: I ❤ dorky rob. So bad.
: NERDWARD. rewind: “sometimes i think youre the only thing thats keeping me sane” Dude! he has two of the best lines of the movie
: seroiusly. Was this movie up for an Oscar? Cuz it should’ve been
: best actor from gillford- Daniel Gale’s handbook
: daniel gale’s handjob


Soft Cheeses (7:16)

Moon: YES the soft cheeses scene- he looks cute here. And I love that he’s looking out for her
: he seems a little cocky- love it. DID You notice? His shirt isn’t buttoned right.
: look at his weird foot as they walk away.
: does he have a cleft foot? A club foot? Is this a movie about a guy from guillford who is weird because of a club foot?
: peg leg like a pirate
: he has a wooden leg. Decided
: “Bad mothers handbook: the story of a nerd from gillford with a club foot who teaches the local girl about his club foot and soft cheeses”

Hurry up! This thermal underwear is hot!

Hurry up! This thermal underwear is hot!

The Birth (7:50)

Moon: he looks like he’s in thermal underwear
: love him in his thermal underwear- Hold her hand daniel! A wet flannel!? TRY Daniel!!! TRY TO HAVE Sex with her!
: RIGHT NOW- have sex with her
: did he PEE himsself!?
: she squeezed the wet flannel on his crotch


Kiss him! Even though he looks like a dorky version of Cedric Diggory. Who just went to the beach. and bought his dad a Tommy Bahama... and decided to keep it for himself...

The Kiss (9:35)

Moon: KISS HIM!!
: love how he closes the door behind them
: watching that again
: are you sure?! daniel gale asks if she’s sure
: do you think they get it in the bathtub? Is there daniel gale fan fic? I bet there is. I will find it.
: i would read that
: Me too. Nerdward getting it on.

We love this little flick. But we love Daniel Gale more. But because Daniel Gale’s scenes only amount to about 10-15 minutes of the entire movie, we will give this movie….


3 out of 5 Heineken bottles! But we do highly suggest this little movie. It’s Nerdward at his best. And you know how we love Nerdy Rob.

UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown

PS: Please don’t email us today- we’ll be busy reading Daniel Gale Fan Fic

Screenshots source

Don’t forget! Tonight at crunk time 8pm ET/ 5pm PT, we will close the votes for our Porn-off poll! GO VOTE NOW!


DO IT! Happy Friday. LOVES xo


  1. I ❤ you both for the breakdown – I think Daniel Gale is my new favorite Rob character!!! I heart him BAD…

    And for being awesome women on the non baby-bearing bandwagon. Sometimes (and I mean every time I meet someone new or attend family functions) it feels like I am the only married woman in the world who doesn't want kids!

    I can hear Aunt Ida gasping and grabbing her heart even now that I've admitted it for LTR and all the world to read

    • I hated baby pressure with a passion! We waited quite awhile (on purpose.) It used to drive his family insane, and I secretly enjoyed this. (Heh) 😉 No one should feel pressured to breed! I say, enjoy your life, whatever you decide! xo

    • i don’t want kids either! i love finding other gals who feel the same =)

  2. The beginnings of rob stealing set clothes…is it me or is the velvet jacket from this movie the SAME ONE from the velvet jacket/blak leather pants combo we’ve all seen…

    • I thought so too.

    • yep- good point. clearly the beginning of the set stealing. and dont’ we all WISH we’ve never seen that outfit you described?

    • check the forum, the gals had this discussion and it was hilarious… ended up debunking it which means rob has TWO red velvey jackets!


  3. For a nerd he wears some mighty tight pants-they’re practically leggings. Nerdy Rob, I think I love you more than GQ Rob, maybe even more than Rob as Edward. The glasses, the scary outfits, the awkward hunch-underneath it all is one fine, skinny nerd.

    • tight pants….hmmmmmm

      WHAT! Oh, sorry…..ya, what?

  4. Ok you two are soooo funny!! I LOVED this movie…saw it ages ago, but I thought Rob was so adorable and yes…his skin is so perfect it makes me want to cry. Please…if you find fan fic on this let us all know : )

    Can’t wait to see what you make of Ring of the Nibelungs because that was truly cinematic prose, full of cheesy goodness!!

    • i CANNOT wait to make fun of that either!

    • my daniel gale fanfic would mostly be about gillford. and his doing cross word puzzles

      • OOhh…as long as it’s bed…on sunday morning wearing nothing but that fantastic scarf!

  5. “UC: Why does he always look so pained? Do you think he gets painful erections?
    UC: his Feet ARE HUGE”
    loved that! omg…
    i also love that you use bottles of heineken as a rating, mwaha!

  6. LOL .. Daniel Gayel’s Handjob .. that’s perfect ..
    LOVE NERDY ROb .. ❤

  7. If there were a real commentary to this movie, this blog post would be it! ;p And no in the UK we don’t usually give newbies a partner for the day to show them around, at least not in my school. And sixth form is part of the rest of the school, its just upper part of school! This movie always makes me wonder whether Rob was actually that nerdy in school, I so wish I had my own nerdy gimp like Daniel hanging onto my arm. I think everyone should have one at some point in their lives. 🙂

    Thanks for another brilliant post ladies! xx

    • haha.. THANKS for the clarifications on the UK 🙂 we google a ton of things… crazy how different things are! maybe they’ll ask us to do a commentary for the DVD!

      • I try my best to inform the world about the real nitty gritty details about our education system here. haha, btw the reason we use the word ‘University’ is because ‘College’ for us is a different type of school. College is for ages 16+ who have left compulsory schooling (Upto 16 yrs) and are choosing to do their A levels or other practical courses, ie Hairdressing courses elsewhere from their previous school (Or you can choose to stay in the same school and attend Sixth Form like Nerd gimp Daniel Gale and complete your A levels there instead!) Once the course is finished, only then can you choose to go to even higher education – University (Where you get all the degrees and shizz) So basically, we’re not not trying to make ourselves sound pompous by using different words for the same thing, we’re actually referring to two different things!! I bet your system is waaaaaaaay more straight forward than this, we British do tend to overcomplicate things for no reason 🙂

        Also, I finished reading ‘The Script’ last night, it will blow your socks off. Seriously, i’m a pretty harsh film critic; but this was one hell of a script with one beast of a twist…I give you 7 days before you have a meltdown UC. Good luck. 😉

        • DUDE… and FIVE year olds can drink at home!? WTF!

          i can’t believe i haven’t read it yet…

          • dude will you be our UK consultant?! we need one on staff for just such times.

            also HOLD STRONG UC! 😉

  8. Haven’t seen this yet…but, I’m in love….er, again, uh…even more than Edward…GASP! Is it wrong that I hope he is like this in RL? Anyone have a link online to watch?

    And this…

    UC: KISS HER- “sometimes i think you’re the only thing keeping me sane” KISS HIM BACK! The baby won’t slide out!!
    Moon: OH MY GOD!!!!!!! COME ON!

    This ^^^^^…is why I love you.

    And this…

    UC: Doesn’t every one know the symptoms? Sick, Gaining weight. bam- baby. The end. Miserable for 18 years. The End.
    Moon: crying, screaming, bitching teenagers. The end
    UC: have fun moms. I’ll take my perky boobs & cats
    Moon: i’ll be off shagging rob on a tropical beach while you’re running after 2 yr olds
    clearly we do not want children

    This^^^^^is partially true (especially the perky boobs part, oh…and the cats.) 😮 Buuuuuut, it’s a good thing Claire wanted kids…justsayin! 😉 xo

    • The whole movie is on YouTube, broken into about 10 parts.

      • Ohhh, thanks Holly. You can have your masseuse position back. 😉

    • I am gald Claire wanted to have three kids. And I don’t even want to think about what the world would be without the kid no. 3. Because if he exist, I wouldn’t too.

      • *err I meant to say *didn’t exist…* Really sorry I had to rewrite it.


      • Is it normal that I opened that in a new window so I could stay on LTR while watching the movie immediately?

        • Yes. Completely normal.

        • Yup…normal.

      • Thanks JBR! xo

      • Thanks JellyBeanR! xo

        • Helllllllllooo…my posts are mulitplying??? 🙂

          • the whole movie is available too.. i think if you google it- it’s a yahoo link?

    • this is true.. thank goodness for claire.

      poor you and no cats 😦

    • also on google video in it’s entirety.

      and it’s my (not so) secret dream that rob is really daniel gale in real life

  9. i love and adore Rob’s character here and this movie…funny, sad, annoying, moving, etc.

    They should’ve put more Daniel in the movie…

    lol. you guys are so funny. keep it up!

  10. lol what a quirky little movie that was…I love nerdward…

  11. “I’ll take my perky boobs and cats.” This killed. I have two kids, and I sooo miss my perky boobs (and sleep). Enjoy yours.

    And bad fans, indeed, girls! I can’t believe you just now got around to watching the yummy dorkiness that is Daniel Gale!

    • and we havne’t seen taht mullet movie either

      • Shame! I made my hubs watch Ring of the NibMullets with me, and we laughed our asses off. I honestly think that Rob is one of the most talented actors, but there was nothing he could do with that script. The mullet just made it all the more comical.

  12. I haven’t seen this movie but was it sort of the British Juno?

    And were y’all drinking while watching?

    • I was totes wondering the same thing…

    • hahahahah british juno. LOVE THAT.

      we were actually sober…. we should soo drunk break it down though…. when i visit her next.. we will

  13. I heart dorkrob, so much! The book though really pissed me off. At least with the movie they made it seem like they all live happily ever after, but the book he just up and disappears while she goes off to college leaving the kid with her mom…. LAME. I do love the part in the book where he gives her first orgasm… so dorkalicious! 🙂

    • When did that happen in the book? (Haven’t read it, just wondering if it was before the baby was born or after.)

      • He gives her the orgasm at her birthday party in the book… really appropriate time 🙂 After the baby is born.

    • wait.. it’s a BOOK!????

    • wait a bad mother handjob BOOK?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      where can i order?

      • heehee, you girls are too funny! I think every movie Rob’s done was a book… right? But yep, I got my copy at amazon… prepared to be disappointed though, not nearly enough Daniel but way more than the movie. Way more dorkalicious moments for sure. I found myself skipping through all the mom/grandma drama when I was reading it. And you will be pissed about the end…. but when you read it, come back and explain why it ended like it did, ok? 🙂

  14. *sigh* I love nerdy Rob.

  15. Only Rob can make the school nerd hot. Without a nerd to hottie movie makeover, anyway. Aside from the horrible flower shirt and the rainbow sweater an thermal underwear, he makes nerd clothes look pretty good. The red velvet jacket and salmon sweater combo (and I so love that he wore that for a date with a girl and her grandma) wouldn’t be my favorite outfit, but I could still see him wearing it in some photo shoot.

    Oddly enough I was just thinking last night that I should twitter you and ask if you liked the movie, which just goes to show that great minds think alike! Or that I think about LTR too much. Or Rob. Or handjobs.

  16. “Moon: who’s the dude he mentions? George foreman?
    UC: george Forman? Jinx
    Moon: as in the grills? He loves eliminating the fat from his burgers
    Moon: I think its the musician the old ladies end up listening to
    UC: George Formby”

    “UC: KISS HER- “sometimes i think you’re the only thing keeping me sane” KISS HIM BACK! The baby won’t slide out!!”

    ROTFLMAO at all of it! I ❤ Daniel. I'd do him!
    I'd give him a good ol dumpster of a good time!

    Did he say "wet flannel?" There's a lot of dialogue in this movie that I have to rewind a lot because I can't figure out what they're saying, LOL! I wonder if he still calls a washcloth a "wet flannel"? Remind me to ask him at the premiere. Better yet, I'll just offer him one.

    Wonder where that chic is at now? Bet she's kickin herself she didn't ask Rob out. Gotta admit it, they'd make a cute couple!

    • She’d have been a rocking Bella IMO

    • I have to watch all British movies with closed captioning on, mostly because of the accents and partly because they use words that we just don’t have in America. I spent the last half of Bridget Jones’ Diary completely baffled as to why Daniel Cleaver was talking about Curtis Blow, when it turns out he was talking about a ‘Kurdish bloke’. There are large portions of “The Bad Mother’s Handjob” and “The Haunted Airman” that I just don’t understand because I can’t tell what they are saying.

    • my thought process during the “the baby won’t slide out’ remark was b/c i had just talked to a preggers friend about dilating.. and how weird that is…. SO weird.. ew.. crossing my legs thinking about it… and thinking how maybe that girl was semi-dilating.. and worried the baby would slide out if she, ugh, enjoyed the kiss a little too much..

      seriously.. that’s what i was thinking… that’s why I yelled/typed that

  17. I wanted to rip those glasses off Clark Kent style. Love the breakdown, ladies.

    • The glasses kill me in BMH. I love nerd Rob. Even better would be drunk nerd Rob.

  18. Happy Birthday to Calliope! ❤ ur face!

    • Happy Birthday Calliope!!!

  19. I tink my comments are in limbo. *Insert Twilight Zone music here.*

  20. This movie actually looks good. I’m going to try and find it now. I was laughing soo hard at what you guys were commenting! He totally is sooo awkward and I love awkward Rob!!!

  21. Can’t. Stop. Laughing. hahahahahahahaha!

    “Bad mothers handbook: the story of a nerd from gillford with a club foot who teaches the local girl about his club foot and soft cheeses”


    And yes, DanielRob has been my favorite Rob since I saw this movie. Okay, second favorite. Only because white-tank-top-smoking-on-the-floor-Rob is my absolute fave.

  22. Love love LOVE Bad Mother’s Handbook!! DorkyRob is awesome, so adorable.

    I always giggle (totally immaturely) at the part where he gets her the pregnancy test and tells her to “wee on the stick” for some reason, that line cracks me up!

    Dear Rob,

    Next time you come over for smexytime, please bring the rainbow sweater and glasses.

    Thank you,

    • The ‘wee on a stick’ line sent me into the awkward giggles too. “Rob said ‘wee’.” LOLz

  23. The soft cheese scene… that was were I saw Rob really shine through! I LOVE me some nerdy Rob! It makes you wonder what nerds you may have missed out on in high school…

    • “I know, right?!”

      • i recently saw a nerd from high school & he was smoking hot.
        acne cleared up too..


    That’s it, I’m moving to Antarctica to drink and eff fisherman.

    • heart you

    • it was a joke! you know im trying to revirginize myself!

  25. I think my comments are stuck in limbo so I’ll try this again:

    “Moon: who’s the dude he mentions? George foreman?
    UC: george Forman? Jinx
    Moon: as in the grills? He loves eliminating the fat from his burgers
    Moon: I think its the musician the old ladies end up listening to
    UC: George Formby”

    “UC: KISS HER- “sometimes i think you’re the only thing keeping me sane” KISS HIM BACK! The baby won’t slide out!!”

    ROTFLMAO at all of it!

    I ❤ Daniel Gale. I'd do him! I'd give him an ol dumpster of a good time!

    Does he say "wet flannel"? There is a lot of dialogue in this film that I had to rewind a lot because I couldn't understand them, LOL!
    I wonder if he still calls a washcloth a "wet flannel"? I'll ask him at the premiere. Better yet, I'll just offer him one! LOL!

  26. “We watched the whole movie, but this vid shows just Rob’s parts. Watch it and read along, after the jump”
    When I first read this I thought “Oh my my my, Rob’s parts. I’ve seen this movie before, I don’t remember seeing any of ‘Rob’s parts’ in it. I better rewatch this” Then I realized you just meant Rob’s parts from the movie. I was a little sad at first that I was wrong. We all would have LOVED to see Rob’s parts 🙂

    • hahahahaah… wouldn’t everyone like to see rob’s parts?

      • Yes, please.

        • Yes. The Marble Member!!!

          • MARBLE MEMBER! i snorted

  27. I’m glad you finally saw this. I was disappointed, because I had hoped with the title that there would be some hot Rob-on-mom action.

    Q: “why do they make him cover his face?”
    A: Because if you can see his face you’d never believe for an instant that he was a loner virgin loser who would fall in love with a pregnant chick. I can only imagine sleep lost by the stylists who had to figure out a way to make him look less fuckable.

    Stylist 1: Maybe we can put a bag on his head?
    Stylist 2: No, that would be too obvious. Say, do you think he could wear a turtleneck that covered his lower face in every scene?
    S1: All we’ve got is this rainbow sweater. Perhaps it will distract the audience from his gorgeous mouth.
    S2: Yes! That, and about twelve scarves. Then we’ll give him a pageboy haircut and horn rimmed glasses.
    S1: If he hunches over, looks at the floor and mumbles, no one will notice that they totally want to throw him down and love him raw!
    S2: God, it’s hopeless. Hey, where’s that red velvet jacket? I haven’t seen it since we filmed the old lady party scene . . .

    You notice that for the kiss scene at the end, they took of his glasses and brushed his hair back a little. It’s like those teen movies where they take a girl’s glasses off and put on some mascara and she’s suddenly the prom queen.

    • love your analysis of the stylists’ problems! It is kind of a joke that he gets cast as these losers who can’t get a girl, when we all know that he is literally attacked on the streets by women.

      And I loved your guess about the story – hot Rob on mom action! That’s my personal fantasy (I’m the mom of course)

    • You are very funny. I love your humor. Why haven’t met you before? Who knows…. RL sucks

    • This slayed me. I kept waiting for the stylists were going to decide which one was going to give him the dumpster treatment…

      • Maybe I could word that more awkwardly….

        I was WAITING for the stylists to decide which one was going to give him the dumpster treatment…

        Coffee, stat.


    • Tiffanized! I love it!!!

    • OOps……..sorry .. a newbie… I mean what you wrote..not your name..(cool too though..)

  28. I’ve never even heard of this movie! Where have I been hiding! Underneath all the shaggy hair and glasses I can see the gorgeous Rob! He’s so tall and lanky! I’ve got to see this movie, will remind it to his parts only!

    I’m jealous! The kissed, well he kissed her and then later on she kisses him! 😦 Why oh why????? LOL.

  29. Your comments on this movie were fabulous. And thank you for isolating the 10 minutes of Rob. Saved me the trouble of having to watch the whole thing. What a silly movie – to have Rob in your cast and only commit 10 minutes of screen time to him!

    So, everything you wrote was great, but the best was def:
    “Doesn’t every one know the symptoms? Sick, Gaining weight. bam- baby. The end. Miserable for 18 years. The End.”

    So true!!! UC & Moon – you will most likely give in at some point to the primal urge to preserve your DNA in offspring – I did, twice – but it is good if you go in with your eyes open. Of course, being Rob’s baby mama would be a diff thing entirely.

    • thats what im holding out for milfy (you dont mind if i call you milfy) that’s what im holding out for.

      some day i will write letters me my and robs love child

  30. this was the BEST BREAKDOWN EVER! I freaking love The Bad Mother’s Handbook…yay for nerdy rob ❤

  31. ❤ ❤ ❤ this movie!! hahaha i saw it back in august..! def laughed my ass off! hahha

    THERMAL UNDERWEAR! i thought the same thing too!!
    tho nothing can beat the rainbow sweater 😀


  32. “he’s going to university (which should just be called college)”


    I love you.

  33. I love the fact that you have a ton of different spellings for “Guildford” here.

    Also, I heart Nerds. Especially when underneath they’re smokin’ hot Robert Pattinson.

  34. You guys literally had me laughing to hard I was crying. I need to see this movie now! hahaha

    You guys are the best…

  35. excellent commentary you guys…
    the only thing that would have made this movie better (okay two things) is if:
    1. the girl was actually pretty.
    2. if their was a scene in the movie which Daniel went on an episode of Ricki Lake and went from Geek to Chic…

    and that would have made this movie oscar worthy!

  36. LOL. I love this movie. He is such a nerd… god!! I love nerdy Rob!!

    Annnddd… Next year I graduate college, and my parents are buying me a plane ticket to London… And no, NOT London, Ontario. London England. I’ma going to go scope out the area. Hopefully Rob will be visiting his parents and I can stalk him… I mean… Go and find myself a cute brit boy!! 🙂

  37. Hey thanks for the Breakdown.. and knowing that you gave it 3 Heinekens (hahahaha), I think it is worth a view AND you had me at Nerdy Rob.

  38. I love how dorky he looks… lovable… jejejeje

  39. I am head over heels in love with Daniel Gale… how can you not love him.. such a huge heart and just so adorkable… I’ve watched this movie several times… love it.. love him.. still too old for this crap!

  40. Hilarious as always girls! I loved him as Daniel Gale!

  41. This is why we love him! Who else can wear the thermal underwear sweater and look so hot! I know I want him in the delivery room with that outfit on! Love your post, makes my day happier, even if I have saggy boobs and screaming children!

  42. LOVE IT and LOVE YOU.

    I laughed so hard about
    “does he have a cleft foot? A club foot? Is this a movie about a guy from guillford who is weird because of a club foot?
    Moon: peg leg like a pirate
    UC: he has a wooden leg. Decided”

    ,,,my daughter had to come and check on me! I watched this online in the beginning of my Robsession, and the whole time I was like, “I have to read this book and figure out Why the Hecks he walks with his foot like that!” I went to Barnes and Noble, they don’t stock it.

    That scene at the end with the bathroom kiss, I could DIE looking at his eyes!!! sigh.

    Thanks for the laughs today, needed ’em…

    • (Thanks for the laughs today, needed ‘em…)

      Gotta ask…are you doing alright? Sucky day?


      • oh, no worries, just all the news yesterday was really starting to bum me out! Needed good laughs! As always, LTR and LTT deliver, naturally….And really, any time I need cheering up, I’m going to cue up 10 minutes of solid Daniel Gale, that is def the cure-all!

        Thanks for the hug!


  43. This is my favourite adorkable Rob movie – except he’s not in it nearly enough! Jeez if there were geeks about like him, we’d be dragging them in off the streets! His shoulders are so damn broad when she pulls him into the bathroom – I am fascinated by it.

    I like the way Daniel mutters under his breath at the girl when she’s being a hormonal teenage mothertobefucker.

  44. Fantastic post, ladies – this totally made my morning. You are both totally welcome to watch and snark on a movie at my house anytime. I can’t believe he was in this movie for only ten minutes. WTF?!

    Rob is clearly one smokin’ hot floppy-haired, glasses-wearing dork. He was totally working the Clark Kent vibe. Loves it!

  45. I had to watch the clips again because this morning my toddler kept yammering and I couldn’t hear the dialogue! Have y’ all noticed how Rob’s accent is so much stronger in this movie? I think when he’s in England his accent is stronger :-). Sexy:-).

    When did this film come out? Did you all noticed how he was doing that “hair thing” too, you know, raking his fingers thru his hair! *swoon* The man is just oozing with sex appeal, don’t care what he’s wearing, for all I care, he can just take all his clothes off. Sorry I’m being really kinky today!

  46. Total effin


    I can’t wait for How To Be and The Haunted Airman!


  47. This is seriously one of the funniest things I have EVER read! The whole the baby won’t slide out thing actually made me wee myself a bit…”wee on the stick”..yes, Daniel…wee on the stick!!!

  48. Dear Daniel Gale,

    If we had gone to school together, we would have been best friends. And I would have been secretly in love with you. It would have been a secret until I made you feel like the man you are anyway.


  49. Hi – lar – i – ous ! UC and Moon ….it’s so funny to hear the “Brit” things you struggled with. Love your break-down.

    Can you all appreciate now how for Rob some of those interview questions using amerianisms were confusing a year ago when he did all the Twi promotion?

    We speak the same language … except we don’t.


    and I have to admit I got a little bit hot under the collar hearing Daniel (and therefore Rob also) explaining about pregnancy symptons and how to wee on the stick and getting all “in charge” with the girl (grrrrrrrr Rob in control – yummy). I think I went off into a little daydream about Rob in 10 years time with a cute blonde toddler bouncing on his knee (who looked nothing like KStew btw) and being all sensitive and manly and daddylike all in one go …..

    Then I fell off my chair again and woke up …

    • and when I woke up I realised I spelt americanisms wrong …. but you get the picture!

  50. First, tiffanized, I sincerely love you for that stylist comment. If I could, I would bow to you!!! SO funny. Also, in the beginning when she and her boyfriend are having sex, I almost died trying not to laugh. He is such a moron

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