Posted by: themoonisdown | June 21, 2009

Happy Fathers Day Dick Pattinson!


Dear Mr. Pattinson –

A while ago we wrote your lovely wife Clare, a little letter that turned out to be one of our most popular (and it wasn’t even a holiday!), welcoming her here to LTR since we know she reads stuff about your son online. Although something tells me you’re probably too busy in your ‘man cave’ or out golfing to be spending much time reading our awesome letters plus Clare fills you in on the highlights over afternoon tea anyway, but on the off chance you’re bored some rainy afternoon and you’ve watched all the “Band of Brothers” and other “Man Movies” in the Pattinson household and you happen to stumble across this little place, we wanted to let you know how much we appreciated you on this Father’s Day! Oh and maybe uh… explain ourselves a bit.

  • When we said we wanted to bang your son and eat goldfish crackers in your pantry in just a shirt what we really meant was we wanted to play Monopoly with the whole Pattinson clan on family board game night and then give Rob a very chaste hug goodnight. Oh and you can be the banker!
  • Ok, so you’re wondering what the h-word that catagory we have called “Rob Porn” is? I swear it’s not naked pics of your beloved son (those are in the private collection) it’s really just him doing ordinary things that drive women wild, like the laundry or putting his socks in the hamper. Oh and Clare told me to tell you to pay SPECIAL attention to that section. You know… for research and stuff. Ahem.
  • Ok we SWEAR we didn’t make THIS, THIS or THIS! We just have a duty as Rob archivists and members of the press to forever document every crazy thing that’s ever been done, said or made in his name. But we did make this! And we think he’d be a lovely addition to the Pattinson family.
  • You know that briefcase you used to have to hold all your spreadsheets and instructions manuals and you have’t been able to find it for some time? Yea, we found it.

dad01So Dick (do you love that as much as we do?), we appreciate you for fathering a super special boy that has caused us to waste away hours obsessing over his every move; Who has caused us to go semi insane and take up fake names and devote our days writing letters to a boy we’ve never met. There really must be something special about him, and I think you have a lot to do with that! And I hope you can see that from just a glimpse at some of these letters and the comments from all the rad folks who are simply mad about him!

Love your face and Happy Father’s Day!
Themoonisdown and Unintendedchoice

PS We won’t blame his questionable fashion sense on you as you look like a normal dad with a dad phone and polo. Nope we think his “fashion” sense is all together his own creation.

PPS Don’t forget to check out LTT and celebrate the other Father’s in the Twi-world!

And for old times sake let’s watch you dance again!


  1. Thank you Mr Richard Pattinson – for bringing up such a spunk!

    We love your son as much as you (ok maybe not AS much as a father would – but it’d be pretty close!)

    And thank you Mrs Clare Pattinson for giving birth to such a handsome man!

    Happy Father’s Day Richard!



    • definitely NOT in the same way a father does 😉

  2. OH!~ and thank you moon, for the beautiful post!



  3. Happy Father’s Day, Richard. Thank you for loving and marrying Clare. And thank you for bringing two beautiful girls and one handsome boy into this world. We are really grateful to you.

    I know you still wondering where is his future girlfriend or wife even when you asked him to join theater so that he can start early on his quest for love. I am really sorry I couldn’t be there yet. But you know Rob and I will meet soon and hopefully you, Clare and his sisters.

    Thank you.

    • awwwwwwwwww

  4. Dear Richard,

    Happiest Father’s Day to you! I don’t know if you even celebrate Father’s Day in England today, but in the U.S. we do. We hope you get a nice day to show off your great grilling skills and have a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer while you lounge in your recliner with your hand comfortably sitting in the top of the waistband of your pants and watch The Office. You deserve such a man’s kinda day for helping to create that handsome son of yours. You can even take the liberty of breaking wind. You get a freebie pass today on that. Maybe Clare won’t even mind…just this once. So sit back, relax and have another Pabst.

    In awe of your ability to re-produce the world’s hottest man,


    P.S. It’s probably best you don’t read anything I write about your son here…or…uhhh… anywhere. I tend to get a teensy bit graphic about him. haha. Seriously. Don’t read it. Ok, bye, Happy Father’s Day, Dick! 😉

  5. Who does Daddy Dick Pattinson look like more? Dustin Hoffman or Robert De Niro?

    • He kind of looks like the dad from Frasier, John Mahoney…hmmmm

    • totes hoffman! AND the dad from fraiser. GOOD call ladies

  6. Thanks Mr. Pattinson for that lovely son of yours!!!!


  7. Feliz Dia dos Pais, Dick!
    Happy Father’s Day!

    And thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you…

  8. Happy Father’s Day, Poppa P!

    Job well done, I’d say.

    Keep dancin’…..


  9. “When we said we wanted to bang your son and eat goldfish crackers in your pantry in just a shirt what we really meant was we wanted to play Monopoly with the whole Pattinson clan….”
    Oh Girls!! I’m sooo disillusioned, now I know you lie…. there’s no way you’d rather play Monopoly than bang Rob, no way on God’s green earth…..

    Dear Dick,
    Happy Father’s Day
    You deserve a good one {Clare’s department I think}
    Just one slight criticism why didn’t you have more Son’s? The world is soooo much better for Robert, you could have probably ruled with a few more…….
    Enjoy your Day
    Love Always xxxxx

    • shhhhhh he doesnt need to know our true intentions!

  10. oye! good post!
    Happy Dad’s day Mr. P.!

    Mr. Pattinson probably thinks we’re all a bunch of obsessed, stalking, freekazoids, which we kinda are, but we’re endearing,obsessed, stalking freekazoids.. if that makes any difference to you Mr. Pattinson.
    ps. your son has your nose, and here we thought he broke it in a bar room fight being a macho guy :((


    • Rob has broken nose:)
      True that

  11. “When we said we wanted to bang your son and eat goldfish crackers in your pantry in just a shirt what we really meant was we wanted to play Monopoly with the whole Pattinson clan on family board game night and then give Rob a very chaste hug goodnight. Oh and you can be the bank!”

    Nope, I meant the banging and the goldfish part. And I’d like to add to that strip Monopoly with Rob [I cheat].

    • OHHHH strip monopoly… im gonna have to try that one out!

  12. Aw, what a sweet post for Dick. You ladies rock my world.

    • awww thats so nice! thank you!

  13. happy father’s day,Mr.P!!!! as your future daughter-in-law,i must thank you for that wonderful uber drool worthy future husband of mine *errmm* thank you!thank you!thank you!!

  14. happy fathers’ day Big Poppa!

    plz just smile and nod when us girls tend to go off on about your son.. and THANK YOU haha

    ❤ so sweet ladies for doin this for him!!

  15. Is it ONLY Sweden where fathers’ day is in November? 😀

    • i think so!!!

    • It’s in September in Australia

  16. Happy father’s day Richard! We have you to thank for Robert Pattinson! Of course we must thank Clare too! Your son is so delightful to look at and I can just listen to him sing and talk and act goofy all day long!

  17. Screw Monopoly! Let’s bring over “Twilight: The Game.” I bet we could totally kick his ass at that! Oh wait, it’s Father’s Day. Okay, I’ll let Dick win one, but just this once…

  18. Dear Richard,
    I’m adding my voice to the HFD greetings and I give a BIG thank you for your part in bringing this boychild into the world. You and Clare should be so proud of how he turned out! He is truly a very special man and his respectful, generous and playful nature must surely reflect his upbringing, not to mention the fact that he’s damn beautiful! I hope this Father’s Day brings you everything you deserve.

    With thanks,

    • Hey lady! You still around??

      • Hey FN. I’m here.

        • How was your day?

          • I did get some sleep and I started on that project that I have to do before I leave next week.

          • Wonderful! Sounds like you had a productive day.

          • Yup. What’s happening in your world?

    • btw your letter is super sweet!

      • I just feel sweet towards The Pattinsons. After all, if it weren’t for them, would we be here right now? And would the women of the world have such a fuck-hot man to drool over? Nope.

        • You make a good point EyeC!

          • That’s my new favorite phrase. lol Besides, it’s all private here at LTR, isn’t it?

  19. Do you mean Fuck-hot?? lol Yes, very private.

    Not too much going on in my world. I talked to sister nugget today and she said that herlease would be up next month and that she would be willing to be roommates, which would be AWESOME!! If we could work it out…we agreed that we’d have to at least have 1.5 bathrooms. lol

    • That is a fabulous solution! Yay! Is she in Abilene now? And yes on the bathroom situation! lol

      • No she lives in San Antonio.

        • OK, then it wouldn’t be a big change for her. And you get somebody to split the rent with.

          • Right! That would help soooo much!

  20. So…not that I’m trying to rationalize the actions of psychotic people by any means, but after watching that Ellen video I see where those girls could’ve been confused. They should learn not to take things too literally!

    • I should have had the sound on when I listened to it today! Is that where he says he can’t get a date and is no good in relationships? Silly boy. He is charming when he says those kinds of things, but yeah, never take him lit’rally!

      • Yeah. He also says that he doesn’t feel it when people grab him and Ellen says something to the effect of “hear that girls? you can just grab him” ACK!

        He also says that A DATE would be his idea of a good date. lol He’s so freakin’ adorable! lol

        • Yes he is. He said things like that all through those interviews and I’m sure now he will be much more circumspect about personal information. It was all new to him then and he was just so happy to be getting the recognition. But it was exactly those types of comments that made us love him. Plus, he’s a different person in some ways now that he’s bitten the apple.

  21. Hi.

    • Hiyahi EP!!! How did your SS class go today?

      • Well, I was driven nearly to the point of madness by a very needy little girl. She’s taking advantage and finally, I had to be firm with her. Did not make me feel good. Other than that it was a pretty good day.

        • I know that’s hard to do. At a certain point you just…… At least the rest was good with family and all.

          • Yeah, always good to actually have a good time with your family. I read above that you had a productive day. And I’m jealous that you got to sleep.

          • LOL Didn’t you sleep last night?

          • Nightmares.

          • Oh no.

          • Yeah, always happens when I’m stressed out.

    • Hola! How was your day? Did you find a FD card?

      • My day was ok, I have a new favorite cousin and I found a father’s day card, but the selection was bad.

        • Did the old favorite do something wrong? Or did you just find a cooler one?

          • The old favorite, well she more has to share, since she’s been my best friend since the day I was born. The new favorite said something about fate bringing Rob and I together and that she looked forward to meeting him at Christmas. So obviously, I love her.

            You might be asking yourself how Rob got brought up. My aunt mentioned that I need to find a handsome British man and sister of new favorite cousin suggested Rob.

          • That’s cool. The only cousin that knows about my Robsession is like 12. lol

          • These cousins are 13 and 17. Rob seems to come up in conversation a lot with my family. This was actually somewhat unwittingly, she didn’t know I had an interest. My theory is, when Rob and I shook hands I was branded by some sort of “I ❤ Rob Pattinson, let's talk about it" tattoo.

          • Let’s try this again, lost the first time.

            Cousin stumbled into this unwittingly, she was just naming British people she didn’t know I had an interest. My family seems to bring Rob up a lot, my theory is when Rob and I shook hands I was branded with some sort of “I ❤ Rob Pattinson, let's talk about it" tattoo.

            And these cousins were 13 and 17.

  22. So, Edward is going to be a barbie doll, seems appropriate somehow doesn’t it?

    I mean plenty of girls that want to play dress-ups and kissy kissy with him.

    • oh yeah so is bella but who cares about that

      • I sure don’t! lol

        How r u Lizzy?

        • it’s monday but i am martyring on

          • oh and making new words up too i think

          • Wahatever workds! lol

          • (that’s seriously what I typed and I just decided not to edit lol)

          • i went with it, it workds.

    • That’s an odd way of thinking about it. But, ooookkk.

      Hi Lizzie.

      • Hi EP, don’t know why but it has just totally tickled my fancy that edward is a barbie, amuses me no end.

        • I find it creepy myself, but Ken dolls in general are creepy to me. To each his own I guess.

          • mattel is going to make a fortune from twimoms.

          • Marketing genius.

          • How is Barbie Edward different from PE???

          • i suspect not different at all, mattel were just slow off the blocks i think.

          • I wonder how many people that already own PEs will buy a Barbie Edward just because. Probably a lot.

          • Doesn’t Barbie-Edward have real hair? Or real/synthetic hair.

          • I am sure it will be special made in China “synthetic” real hair. Aftre all this is Edwards we are talking about.

          • Hmm….maybe….maybe he’ll have a button to push that says things like “You ARE my life now” “Since I’m going to Hell” “You should put YOUR seatbelt on!” “You don’t know ANYTHING!” and my personal favorite “Hi. I’m Edward Cullen.” lol

          • Talking Edward doll would be super creepy.

          • I wonder if they will do little rayban accessories?

          • I’d like to make an Edward doll that said FF quotes…EyeC? Lizzie? What do you think??

          • I’d love one rogue programmer to do just a couple with special ff quotes and unleash them on an unsuspecting public.

          • That would be SO awesome!

  23. Random Thoughts:

    I’ve tried to respond to FN twice and WP has lost it both times.

    In my response, I talked about a theory I have about Rob coming up in a lot of my conversations. I feel that I have been branded with some sort of “I heart Rob Pattinson, lets talk about it” tattoo. I blame touching Rob.

    Co-favorite cousin and long time BFF, got my dog a new toy. It’s a stuffed dog dressed as a palace guard.

    It’s been a very British day.

    • Wp sends me to its homepage on random occasions, weird.

      the touch just made the Robfection stronger.

      co-fav cousin and BFF are bucking to visit you in London.

      better have a pint then luv.

      • So frustrating.

        This could also be true.

        She’d love to come, but I don’t think she will.

        About to make some tea actually.

        • yep


          manifest it and it shall be so

          ok that works too.

          • Yeah, has to be tea. It was a Russian afternoon, had a little bit of vodka before I went to family time.

          • ah vodka family time, the best way to enjoy it!

          • I suspect my uncle was also of that opinion.

    • That kept happening to me the other night. WP can be a jerk sometimes! It’s REALLY frustrating, isn’t it?

      Maybe it’s because there’s some kind of cosmic link between the two of you…


      How so? Wait, b/c of the dog toy and the prediction…lol

      • Yes, yes it is.

        This was new favorite cousin’s theory. Between her fangirl squees.

        It’s really cute.

        That would be it. 🙂

    • Maddening.

      Makes as much sense as anything. He DOES dazzle.

      Funny! Maybe Shiloh will keep it close while you’re gone just to remind him.


      • You got that right.

        I thought so.

        If she doesn’t chew it into tiny pieces first, I asked where BFF got the toy in case I need to get another one.

        British days are fun.

  24. Tea sounds good right now.

    • I was thinking the same thing! I think I need some.

    • Done.

    • I personally am leaning more toward Russia day and the vodka idea, well it is monday, i need somehtng to help me get through.

      • Cheers.

        • prost! actually i think that is german, oh whatever

  25. cause i haven’t done them in a while, have some random thoughts:

    I want chocolate and i want it very badly, if i disappear for a moment you will know why.

    i wonder if edward barbie will be anamotically correct?

    today i actually completely resent being work busy.

    i have actually had to start writing down ewhere i am up to in all the ff i have too many currently on the go.

    • I have Godiva chocolate literally feet from me.

      That wouldn’t be in tradition of a Barbie.

      Work busy sucks.

      I’m surprised you all don’t keep some sort of list.

      • sure go on rub it in

        how disappointing, i was going to volunteer to do the measuring.

        i am a martyr.

        I don’t think i really wanted to admit it was getting out of hand.

    • OK. We’ll understand.

      I was also wondering–hope it’s better than KEN!

      Don’t blame you.

      Me too. The waiting for updates is too hard for me so I keep starting a new one.

      • i will try and resist, but i don’t like my chances.

        there will so be letters if Ken is used as a guide, I mean Ken talk about a loser.

        I shouldn’t whinge, but let’s face it it’s what i do.

        and there are so many to choose from, each time i go this is the last, till the next day!

    • Someone ate the Rocky Road ice cream I had left 😦 That sounds SO good.

      Like a sparklepeen??

      I’m sorry to hear that.

      I think I would lose my list. Or forget to update it.

      • hunt them down immediately, they don’t deserve to live. did i mention i am craving chocolate in any form?

        Good idea – we should send mattel our suggestions.

        i excell at whiny

        i will too

        • I think it was my mom. Seeing how she gave me life and all I suppose I can find it in my heart to fogive her…MAYBE…

          Let’s start a list!

          Me too! It’s too bad that isn’t a major.

          At least you’re making the effort to make a list right? That has to count for something!

      • Damn them!

        Exactly! LOL “Get your very own sparklepeen now!”

        • seriously we have to get this to mattel asap, i want in on the royalties when talking sparkling peen Edward hits the shelves, this is our money tree ladies!

          • WOOT! WOOT! lol

  26. Alright, don’t fall over but I’ve got some random thoughts!

    Life is much happier when there’s money coming in.

    I’ve got a hell of a lot to do in the next week.

    Fan fic has taken over my life and I’m no longer in control.

    I’m sort of worried about meeting up with Carter next Wednesday for L. A.

    • Amen to that.

      You WILL get it done

      I am thinking of starting up a 12 step programme for FFholics.

      Anything you want to talk about, of just worried about the prosepct of spontaneously combusting at th sight of the tuck?

      • Yes.

        Ready or not, there I go!

        Not quite ready to join yet. There’s just one more ff…….

        Internet is one thing, RL another. Plus, I don’t know her very well.

        • I know what you mean. I kinda feel like EP meeting me in RL will be a big disappointment (for her not me). Like I’m not as cool in person or something. (of course I know I really am though, lol)

          • I’m pretty sure that you won’t be disappointing.

          • I might be disappointing though…

          • Aww…but just in case you should be prepared for my lameness…lol

          • Oh darlin’ I’m the queen of lame.

          • There. You got the gist of it. I think/am hoping that at least we know each other well enough.

          • ah but wait till you meet me!

          • I think we all have a fair idea of what we’re getting into.

          • Can we co-rule Lameland together?? lol

            I’m glad that’s what you meant b/c I was gonna feel silly making that confessin E!

          • yeah I am pretty fantastic

          • well at least one of you could have agreed with me about being fantastic! LMAO

          • I would have, but you agreed that I was a psycho killer! lol

            I DO think your fantastic though! (too late???)

          • yep way too late, i don’t want some pity fantastic, but thanks anyway!

    • This is true.

      Funny, I feel the same way.

      I still haven’t finished WA.


      • *sigh*

        I can imagine.

        I know, but that’s OK. We have a list of the best waiting for you.

        See above. Oh well. I will NOT miss out on RobDali!

        • Leads me to wonder if you feel the same about Jenny and me. Cause I swear I’m not a psycho killer and I’m pretty sure she isn’t either.

          Now, I should probably wonder about FN…

          • LOL I promise I’m not either!

            I remember EP, NO Hugs!

            Plus, I’ll bring cake.

          • Hey, whoa! What did I do?? LOL

            It was all those dirty FF quotes, wasn’t it?? I KNEW that might come off as a little weird…..dammit!

          • Hugs are ok, just the random touching is weird, and I’m weird about having my hair touched, but that’s not usually a concern.

            So looking forward to cake.

          • You didn’t do anything FN. Thought the quotes are a little odd……;-)

          • Though*

          • You just think that b/c you don’t really understand where they’re coming from yet. You’ll find out soon enough…lol

          • EP, I don’t do ‘random touching’!

          • We should be fine then EyeC

          • Good. lol

          • Guess I’m out luck and will be a huge disappointment if we ever meet, casue the only thing i wanted to do was play hairdressers with you all.

          • If we ever get together in the same place we will have to have a slumber party and play hairdresser, Lizzie. We’ll put EP in charge of the games or movies or something so she won’t have to suffer through it.

          • Can I be in charge of food or something?? I’m weird about the touching thing too!

            (also, since (apparently) I’m a psychopath killer this would provide the prime opportunity to spike the punch w/ some sort of toxic powder)

          • just so you know that if i ever meet you i am going to totally have to ruffle your hair now, aided by the fact you are all midgets (although I think E may have some height).

          • I TOWER over those two elfkins at 5’3 1/2″!!!

            And I was going to say yes on the food FN, but now I’mm really a bit worried…..

          • Only my hands are allowed in my hair, there are few exceptions to this rule.

          • Those *three*.

          • Dang it! I’m gonna have to get better at this psycho killer thing….

            *note to self* don’t tell people your plan to spike the punch when you offer to be in charge of food.

          • Actually E, Jenny and I are 5’2″ 1/2.

          • You too, J-m and EP, those halfs make all the difference huh!

          • Just trying to be accurate, Lizzie.

        • don’t foget the half there E, very important!

    • Yep yep!

      You can do it!

      You were never REALLY in control anyway! lol

      Oh no, why?

      • Yep….

        I’ll have to.

        LOL Not since my very first one!

        See above. Que sera sera!

        • All those “yeps” make me think of this. I ❤ Sesame Street!!

          • Sesame* EP cannot spell tonight.

          • “Sunny days singing the clouds a-way, on-my-way to where the air is swwwweeeeeeetttttt. Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Semsame Streeet?

            I don’t know if that’s really the lyrics, but I just did that from memory.

          • I believe those are the lyrics. Also, note how your edit is now above your original post….WP was doing that to me the other day too! WTF is up w/ WP??

          • On the upside, it makes me look psychic like I predicted I would screw up. And if I’m psychic then it might run in the family, so new favorite cousin might be psychic too. WIN!

          • Actually, that makes much more sense than what I said! What do I know anyway?? lol

          • That is precious! Yep yep yepyepyepyep~!!

  27. E, you will so be fine, as mentioned by EP just don’t go the random grope in the movuie theatre and I am sure you will have a great night!

    Agree i’d watch out for FN though she does have disappointing psycho killer written all over her. ❤ u babe!

    • LMAO Lizzie! I tell you I don’t randomly grope either!!! But who knows what will happen when we see that TUCK??? We both seem to be intrigued with a couple scenes. Hmmmmm.

      • better sit on your hands just in case. am jealous you will be seeing it on the big screen, the only thing better (apart from in person) would be seeing it in 3D imax!

        • That might be a bit….much.

          • yeah sitting on your hands might be too much on second thoughts.

          • Good point, but not exactly what I was talking about.

          • Too much.

          • *winks*

        • Oh wow! The Tuck in 3D??? I’m not so sure about that….

  28. Oooo! Oooo! My turn for randome thoughts!

    I kinda like very slightly burnt popcorn. (just a few pieces though)

    Shaving was the Devil’s idea, I just know it was.

    Little sister nugget (sister #3) has been getting on my nerves lately. Damn the teenager mindset!

    I think Sesame Street is the secret to my success.

    • Gross.

      The Devil has the worst idea.

      I hate teenagers and undergrads.

      It might be mine too. I haven’t watched it in years, like 20+

    • ick, see i knew you had psycho killer written all over you

      wax i tell you, wax.

      send her to her room until she is 21.

      is it still on?

      • 😦

        I do! But I hate waiting for the hair to get long enough to wax!

        I wish!

        Yeah, but it’s not the same.

        • Is it just me or was Grover a bigger deal than Elmo when we were kids? And when did they come up with this Abby Cadabby business I see them advertising?

          • Yeah, I never got the whole Elmo thing. I mean, sure he’s cute and all, but sheesh! I haven’t heard of this Abby Cadabby thing. I’m kinda upset that the Cookie Monster doesn’t eat cookies anymore! WTF??

          • How does someone named cookie monster not eat cookies? And Abby Cadabby is that purple fairy thing. I think she grants wishes, I may need an Abby Cadabby. I don’t know how I know about this.

          • I think he only eats them in moderation or some crap like that. He also calculates how many calories are in a serving size of everything he eats. (OK, not REALLY, but I can see it getting to that point!)

            I have seen the purple fairy thing. She’s kinda cute.

          • Speeking of muppets, has anyone ever noticed how Rob kind of looks a little like Beaker?

          • This Beaker?

            Or this Beaker?


          • The second one when the fangirls are about.

          • Hey FN what do you think you are doing posting my picture so everyone knows what i look like?

          • Only when he had the sex hair.

          • I liked the second one better too.

            *sigh* sex hair….

          • well you all know how partial i am to the free roamin sex hair, works for me everytime.

    • Weird. Everybody has their quirks.

      Very true. With just one nick you’re bleeding all over.

      Teenagers. Their brains aren’t fully develpoed yet, poor things.

      A testimonial if I ever heard one!

      • Yes.

        It sucks.

        I feel bad for them.


  29. I LOVE it. love, love, LOVE it.
    thanks so much!

  30. Ok ladies, way way WAY past my bedtime. Long week. Good night all and sweet dreams.

    • Good Night EP. Sweet dreams coming your way.

    • Nighty Night, I’ll send Rob to watch you sleep and brush your hair off your forehead and to fight off any more nighmares.

    • Night EP!! Good luck this week!

    • Oh, I get it—Marcus!

      • the way way WAY? lol

  31. OK, i am out of here too, going to try for an early bus, it is monday aftreall don’t want to burn out too early in the working week!

    3D dreams to you!

    • Bye L! Hope you catch that bus.

    • Night Lizzie! 3D dreams to you as well! (that sounds much better than the 3D tuck)

  32. Are you reading FN?

    • I JUST pulled up the APD link. lol

      • LOL OK.

        • It’s growing on me. I had my doubts at first. The word-order of some of the sentences was bothering me at first, but it seems to have gotten better.

          • I understand. It must have improved because I didn’t notice it as I went along. I’m still thinking about some of the art work. That comes later—we can discuss then. It can be disconcerting on some of the ffs when they consistently misspell and misuse words. My brain is nit-picky that way.

          • I saw those “This isn’t an invitation to rape me” posters. Is that what you were talking about?

          • Magritte paintings.

          • Hmm…

            I like that the chapters are pretty short.

          • Yes. It goes faster.

          • that seemed really randome, let me try again:

            Hmm…you were right, I’m not there yet.

            One thing I like about this story is that the chapters are pretty short.

            MUCH better!

          • I love Edward.

          • Haha. Me too, EyeC, me too.

  33. Is anyone still around?
    God you lot have been chatty!

    • Yeah, we talked up a storm tonight. How are you Nat?

      • Grand, girls. Grand.
        Putting the finishing touches on a video that I’ll think you’ll enjoy, with a few FF references that should get you laughing, and holy mother of God, the hottest photo of HHH that I’ve ever seen. When I look at this photo, I just think… what a spam, how did your eyes not see this earlier?

        • I can’t WAIT to see it! It sounds very intriguing. Ray Bans?

          • Yes, it’s about the Ray Bans… and other stuff.
            It’s better than the first one, I think. And yes, some not-so-subtle FF references that I think you’ll like…

          • Goody goody!

        • Ooo!Ooo!Ooo! I can’t wait! FF references?? I’m excited!

    • Hey lady! We’re still here.

  34. So what is news with you two?

    • I started on a project I’ve needed to do today. I have a week before I head back to Iowa with my sister to visit a girlfriend I haven’t seen in years. Lots to do.

      • Iowa? Isn’t that your home state?
        How long are you heading back to the …. corn state? for?

        • Just Monday through Sunday, June29-July5.

          • A mini-break.
            That’ll be nice. Will it take you long to get there?

          • I think about 11 hours but we’ll stop once going out and coming back. Planning a visit to see a favorite aunt on the way–it’s bean spraying time on the farm so we’re hoping it will work out to see the cousins too.

          • Are you driving, then? That sounds like quite a long trip.

            Bean spraying? It sounds like a rural ideal. How lovely.

          • I love roadtrips. It takes us about 8 hrs to go to NM and visit my uncle and his family. It’s good bonding time.

            I don’t believe I’ve every heard of bean spraying.

          • *ever* lol

          • Where is NM?

          • New Mexico.

          • Ah…
            I don’t know a lot about New Mexico.

          • I like it a lot. I wanted to live there for the longest time. I’ve heard the people there aren’t very friendly, but I never really noticed when I was there. I used to spend every summer w/ my aunt and uncle. I also didn’t get out much. It was just nice to be away.

          • Yes we’re driving. My sister is meeting up with her bff from hs who now lives in Chicago so we’ll go our separate ways and meet up in the small town we grew up in on the 3rd. Another gf is planning a party at her house for that night. Looking forward to seeing old friends.

            Oh yes, the bean spraying is very Iowan–heart of farm country. My Grandpa was a farmer and his Dad before him on a century farm. All but one of their four children left the farm. The weather channel is very important.

          • Eye C, you and me have a bit more in common than I realised.
            I grew up on a wheat farm, about 4 hours from Melbourne.
            My dad’s family had been there for over 80 years.
            It was a big decision when they decided to sell – but it is a tough life, the life of a farmer. Not at all easy.

            It sounds like you are going to have quite the adventure.

    • Not much new. I think I may have the apt situation ALMOST worked out! (keeping my fingers crossed)

      • Yay, yay, yay!
        You must be relieved! When will you know for sure?

        • I am (kinda, b/c I don’t want to jinx anything. lol). My sister was going to ask the people at her apt complex what it would take for her to upgrade when her lease is up. Hopefully she’ll call me tomorrow.

          • That’s a starting point.
            Renting is BS… not fun… but necessary evil.

          • UGH! I hate it already!

          • Yeah, well… it’s better than being homeless.
            Have you lived away from home before?
            It’s really…freeing when you move out the first time.
            That initial independence.

          • Very good point. If this doesn’t work out that may be my last option.

            Not really, I lived w/ my BF and his mom for a little while my senior year of HS (kinda complicated story, but she is an awesome woman as are my parents, but like I said, complicated story :))

            I’m looking forward to it. Although, I pretty much do what I want now anyway. My parents are good about letting me have my independence. They know I’m responsible and that they can trust me. I’m a good kid.

          • You can tell that you’re a good kid.
            Even if you *do* have an unhealthy obsession for FF.

            But living on your own, paying your own bills, being self reliant – it’s where confidence comes from, responsibility. It makes you more appreciative of who you are and how lucky you have been in your life to have what you have, because you appreciate things a lot more.

            And then there is the *nesting*. Yay. Buying stuff for your ‘place’. Yay. Love a bit of nesting!

          • Haha. Thanks. It’s nice to know SOMEONE doesn’t think I’m a psycho killer (refer to above posts). My FF obsession is perfectly NORMAL! Right EyeC?? lol

            I take care of my own bills pretty much anyway (car, car insurance, phone, etc) as well as helping out w/ stuff we need around here. I know what you mean about being appreciative though. I think too many kids nowadays don’t realize how good they have it.

            Oh yes! I’ve bought a lot of stuff I’ll need. I was a little mad when I thought I might have to live in the dorm b/c all of the stuff I’ve bought is pretty much useless there!

          • You should probably think of everyone you meet online as psychopathic nutsoids, until they prove themselves to be otherwise.

          • Yeah, you’re right. lol

          • Of course, NORMAL, FN. As we all are!

          • I love that.
            It’s normal.
            So used to justify everything not normal that a LTR girl does on a daily basis.

  35. Did you know that there is a website that you can use to put unicorns on everything?

    Very helpful…weird, strange, and really bizarre, but funny in context of what I was doing today.

    • Who knew? lol Sounds like a WA influence there.

    • Strangely, I’m not surprised…lol

      • Umm… you’ll have to see it.

        One of them is so much funnier than the other… I hope. I mean, I find it funny. But that might not say much.

        • I trust you. When are we going to get to see it?? Anytime soon? (the suspense is killing me!)

          • I just finished it.
            It’s uploading right now.
            About 5 minutes should do it.
            You have to let me know what you think and be honest.
            It’s meant to be fun, though, so I don’t really care, but maybe I do!

          • You’re brave. Why would you trust me?!

          • You know, I’m not sure. I think it has something to do w/ that sweet smile your gravatar has (and the little, webbed chicken feet). What’s not to trust?? lol

          • Can’t put photo up because of the kiddies.

            Would be mortified beyond belief if they found out I was more obsessed than they are.

            The avi does bear a striking resemblance – I too am red-cheeked!

            Ha ha ha ha.

          • Haha. I understand. Not sure how I would feel if my mom was on here too.

            Do you also have tiny, webbed chicken feet?? They are SO adorable!

          • I wish I had chicken leg feet.
            More heifer than chicken, me thinks…

            Actually, would be mortified beyond belief if anyone I knew knew that I did this every day. Not sure why. Perhaps should just *own* the obsession and live with it?

          • Yeah, I’ve got some pretty good sized thighs myself. lol But w/out them I would have no shape.

            I’ve learned to ignore my family’s comments about my obsession. lol It’s easier than you would think. I believe it has something to do w/ them still having to put up w/ me b/c we’re family. lol

          • Oh, I embrace the curves.

            I’d rather be able to eat chocolate every day than give a shit about cellulite.

            Body image is not one of my many issues! ha.

            My family *don’t know* about my obsession. Nobody does, except you guys on here. I’m still not entirely convinced most of the time… then I saw the hot photo today… geezuz.

          • AMEN!

            I want to see this hot pic! (as if this is the only hot pic of him! lol)

          • No, its like… a completely hot photo of him.

            Like BEEJEZUZ hot.

            He’s not wearing the RB’s in it, but I had to put it in there anyway because of the sheer PORN quality of the image.

            It’s nearly uploaded. Just checked.

          • Oh man! I CAN’T WAIT!!!

            Is it done now?

            How about now?

            And….NOW???? GAH!

  36. Gah!

    I can’t remember my you-tube account name or password!

    Back in a sec while I sort this out…

    • Haha! You sound like me! I am always so hesitant to sign-up for new accounts b/c I always forget the rules for the passwords and stuff. Good luck figuring it out!

      • It won’t upload straight from the Apple.
        This one looks better because I used i-movie and not Windows MovieMaker.
        It’s much much better looking.
        The photo quality is better, too.

        But yes… remembering passwords is not my forte.

        What are your dates for Bobby again?

        • FN, is it August2nd for you in Austin?

          For us it’s August 12th in Denver and in Vancouver for Jenny and EP it’s August 11th.

        • Yep yep. August 2nd for Bobby/Marcus and the 3rd for Sam. I’m SOOO excited!

          • FN, is Sam in Austin too or Dallas? I haven’t got it straight.

          • Hmmm. Still can’t be there in time.

          • Yes, Sam will be in Austin too. There was a link on Twitter today to Sam’s music page saying that all three of them were going to do a show together after TwiCon on the 1st or something. It’s like a Midnight-4 show and you have to be over 18 (or 21?) to attend. Wouldn’t that be AMAZING?? No teeny-bopper fangirls??? I was kinda scared at first b/c I thought the Austin show was supposed to be on the 1st and I was like “WHAT?! Did they cancel the other one??” I was gonna hafta get all sad panda and whatnot.

          • What? You’re all seeing all of them? No fair.

            Not that I know any of their music or anything. And that should be the real reason to see a band.

          • That midnight to 4:00 AM show would be soooo great! You know those three boys together are going to be one fun time! But at least you’ll see Sam! Will you stay over in Austin?

          • Twilight fans give me the irritates.

            They have the books up there on some kind of pedestal, and they are completely rabid and weird.

            Present company excluded, naturally.

            I would find it so… tres embarrassment to own anything other than the books. Although, I am thinking of buying a Little Ed and taking him around the US/Kanadia with me in September, doing a ‘Where’s Wally’ thing.

          • Nat, you should give their music a listen. Just google each one and go to their MySpace page and there are free-streaming songs playing continually. All very good, all unique.


            Nat, I’ll get to see them all, just not all at once.

            EyeC, I’m not sure yet. I talked to EP about it a little, but I’m thinking staying in Austin might be more practical. We still have to work out the details.

          • I’ve been listening to Sam a bit. Well just the one song, really.

          • I was just wondering. It seems like a lot of traveling if you don’t have to.

          • Twicon. I don’t know that I could think of anything humanely worse to experience in my life time. Shudders. Grimaces. Groans.

          • Bobby is my favorite, but they’re all good. I have a “Team Edward” keychain. It’s my subtle way of expressing my Robsession. It’s my dirty little secret that’s right there in front of their faces! Mwahahahaha!!

            Nat, you should totally get a PE and take him on some adventures!

          • I know what you mean EyeC.


          • Yes, Twicon.

            I mean – if I wanted burst ear drums I can get it doing a lot more fun things than listen to girls scream for a few days.

          • Nuggety, a keychain isn’t a t-shirt or a canvas bag or pants that you made yourself that scream LOSER.

          • You’re right! Those pattinpants are just on a whole new level of crazy!

          • The Keds Eclipse shoes. I can never bring myself to get past them because I find them HILARIOUSLY wrong…

  37. EyeC, I have a feeling that by the time I’m done w/ all this FF my “sex-list” is going to be something I can REALLY be proud of. LOL

    • ROFLMAO!!! What an education we’re getting, no?

      • Oh, the FF is VERY educational.

      • Oh yes…I’m certainly learning a lot!

        • Every little bit helps! Or whatever…….

          • I’m sure it will come in… useful… when the moment presents itself.

          • LMAO! Yes…that’s why it’s important to find a guy who is open to the idea of reading FF. I’ve decided that if I can find one even willing to try, it would be a good find. I don’t think I will explain the smutty part of FF. I’ll just tell them it’s this story online that I REALLY like. lol

          • That would be their reward for keeping an open mind.

          • You never know when you’ll find yourself in the change room of La Perla… at least you now have ideas about how to use the chaise.

            Have decided that FF is for girls what porn is for guys.

          • LMAO! A surprise inside!

          • Yes Nat. Soft porn with a story!

          • Actually, I looked at LaPerla online and I won’t be able to afford like anything there for quite a while….one day though….one day.

            Yes, FF is like porn. EyeC and I talked about this a while back. We decided that men could get a lot more from us if they just knew how to ask for it. Right???

          • I’m not sure about soft porn… The Office is… well, it’s pretty heavy for my chaste thoughts, anyway.

            Nuggety, I like the way you’ve thought out how to introduce your boyfriend to be to your FF obsession… casually, with how he benefits from it.

          • Also, I know that the LaPerla comment was not to be taken literally, I just thought I’d throw that in there b/c seriously, they’re effin’ expensive! That BB has some nerve to go tearing that shizz up! lol

          • I don’t know about the asking bit – sometimes you need to show.
            It depends if the man in question is an emotional gulfwit or not.

            La Perla…chuckle. I agree with Bella in The Office… expensive lingerie is something you should wear for yourself, as much as another person. It certainly gives you confidence when you wear it.

          • Well, yes, I guess some of it is like Rob says, “pretty hard core”. There’s some of everything at whatever level that interests you. But the story is so important.

          • Yes, the story. Story is vital. You need to care about the characters that are shagging if you’re going to reap maximum benefits from the reading experience.

          • LMAO Nat!

  38. I’m very thoughtful when it comes to BFs. lol

    It would depend on the guy. He just needs to pick up a few pointers from the Edwards. I don’t care which one as long as he learns something!

    • I’ll give the PE idea some thought, Nuggety.
      I’ve done the same thing with a Paddington Bear around London.
      He even got his own camera and luggage for the photos. Outside of Harrods, outside of the Monet exhibition, at The Tower… Paddington was very spoilt.

      Little Ed might be easier to transport.

      • Cute idea!

        • I’ll find some pics and show you.

    • Exactly! There’s always something to learn. I just found a Best First Date Edward. Melting. A guy needs to be open to new experiences.

      • I think you may be onto something here….we should start cataloging our favorite Edwards for certain situations…for example “Favorite Edward to bang on the stairs” or “Favorite Edward to bang in a bathroom” etc.

        • Just favourite way to bang works.

      • FN, my new ff for hte day—Library Rendezvous. It was mentioned in the forum but hadn’t gone up on the list as of yesterday. What a wonderful, thoughtful, hot hot hot, sweet Edward! And it has lemons. YAY!

        • Muchas Gracias Almighty FF Aupplier!

          • *Supplier! lol

        • Beautiful.
          Perfect way to end the evening.
          Thanks, Eye C.

    • Okay, so if I HAD to choose, I think I’d go w/ Wordward b/c he really does love women! lol

      • Yup. He’s pretty fantastic. Word, words, words……

      • Who is Wordward and will I hate myself for asking this?

  39. oooh. The video has uploaded.
    Now it is processing. Whatever the fuck that means.

    • It means soon….very, very soon….(at least that’s what I’m telling myself. I really have no idea)

  40. So, it’s 6:49 in NYC. I wonder what Rob’s doing right now?

    • Sleeping, if he’s smart.
      Putting on his Ray Bans and his hoodie and trying to avoid cabs may be smarter.

      • I suppose. That hoodie in NYC doesn’t seem practical. It was just one of JBell’s Fleeting Thoughts.

    • He’s laying in bed thinking of the day when I can be laying there next to him. LOL

      OR he’s bored and reading our comments and thinking I’m crazy!

      *waves* Hi ROB! I promise I’ve never decopaged/iron-on’d/painted your face onto any item of my clothing!

      • And I don’t make random videos of you…! 😉

        • **Note the wink in her comment that is indicitave of the sarcasm of HER statement, NOT MINE!! I would NeverEverEverEver put a pic your face on my clothes! Pinky Swear!! LOL

          • Highly sarcastic.
            At least making a video is productive.
            It’s teaching me highly beneficial editing skills which I may or may not need in the future.
            And it’s given me a wider appreciation of the appeal of the Ray Ban.

      • And I don’t write random letters to him or on his behalf in the wee hours of the morning!

  41. Fuck.

    My video was live and I didn’t know it!
    It’s even had one comment already!

    • I LOVE it, LOVE it LOVE it, Nat!!! Perfect! He is so damn hot in those Ray Bans! You got all the recent action. Perfect song. Caught the unicorn–must see it again! NOW!

    • ARGH!!! I’ve tried watching it multiple times and my computer sucks and is making it all choppy!! FML!! After all that! From what I did see it looks good! I’ll have to try later.

      • Don’t worry, Nuggety. I’m taking that one down and putting the ‘directors cut’ up instead because I fucked up. It’ll be there tomorrow.

        • Okay, good.

          • It’ll be there in an hour or so if I can be bothered staying up late now.

            I’m so *glad* that you liked it Eye C, that means a lot.

  42. It’s the fucking wrong version, too.
    I’m going to have to take it down and put the newer better one up.

  43. Thanks, Eye C.

    I’m about to take it down, though, and put the right version up.

    Yeah, I’m glad I went with the that song – it’s very funny when you listen to the lyrics.

    Unicorn made me laugh – found it on google and thought it was soooo appropriate.

  44. I’ve fucked up.
    28 people have seen that video already and it’s THE WRONG VERSION.
    Should I take it down or leave it?

    • Tough call. The word spreads fast. Wow.

      • You are still wowing?
        that’s a good sign.
        But yes, word travels fast.
        Took it down, new one uploading now.
        Shouldn’t take long.

  45. What do the Twi-hards do… hang around on you-tube waiting for new Patto clips?

    • That’s some serious twi-hard dedication!! (I promise only like 3 of those views are from me lol)

      • It is serious dedication…

        Anyway, the newer one – I did some editing to it.

        Did you see the French ‘tattoo’, Eye C?

        That’s for you gals.

        • I can’t wait to see it!

          *sigh* the French…I made a new avatar to put in my signature on the forum. It has that “Ju suis a toi” (sp?) phrase on it. I like the way it turned out.

 thought of us! How sweet! *hugs*

          • Of course.
            I gave Edward a fucking tattoo! ha ha ha!

          • Oh man! I need to see it! Too bad my computer sucks balls! (the fucking balls of a goat to be exact lol)

          • I’ve never understood that Sam Bradley quote…

          • I really don’t either, but it’s just fun to say!

            Also, JBell gave me another good, randome expletive….Fuck the turtles! lol

        • LOL! Love the tattoo!

          • Yeah, that was for you girls.
            I thought you’d find it funny.
            Couldn’t resist, really.

          • So many people are going to get it! Lots of us ff readers out there.

          • You’re right EyeC, there is a growing appreciation for smutty fiction!

            For real now, I’m out! Night! (or morning, whatever!)

          • Good. If I bring random smiles to strangers over the next few days, my mission in making the video is complete.

  46. Alright ladies, I need to call it a night (or morning, whatever). I don’t want to have to explain to my mudder why I’m still awake…even though she knows. It’s one of those don’t ask/don’t tell things. lol Have a good day!

    • You have a good day/night, too, Nuggety.
      Sleep well.

    • Good night/morning FN. Have a good day.

  47. Actually, I might call it a night, too.
    Night Eye C, night Nuggety, see you tomorrow.

    Thanks for being your awesomest selves tonight.

    • Bye Nat. Great video. I’ll be watching for the dc.

  48. […] love with us. Well…. we did write a note to your mom and we think your dad really liked our Dad’s day greeting…so that should get us good in the the parents.. hmmm oh yeah, your bud Sam left us a comment […]

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