Posted by: themoonisdown | June 2, 2009

See you at the pole dance: Robert Pattinson auditions to be a Chippendale’s exotic male dancer

Pour some sugar on meeee in the name of love!

Pour some sugar on meeee in the name of love!


Does it weird you out in the least that there are people out there making images like this of you? I mean your head has been plastered onto the body of a hairy male stripper wearing a red STUFFED banana hammock shimmying like one of those Rock of Love skanks who’s had too many red bull/vodkas. And moreover does it weird you out that there’s someone out there who find’s this sexy?? Cause I sure don’t, in fact I find it creepy as hell. And I’m getting freaked out looking at it for too long.

Please tell your well-intentioned fans to stop being freakazoids and put this creative energy to use… like writing me a fanfic about the true Alice/Jasper backstory. KThanks!

Please make it stop…

PS I found this today while wondering around the web and sent it over to UC because I couldn’t believe my eyes… our convo:

Moon: Rob, I see you put that pole in my house to good use

UC: i bet sam bradley is so embarassed that he just saw that.  we should make a poll in honor of this uh, pole.

So to honor Rob’s… POLE we’ve created another See Ya At the Poll (our new favoritiest thing in the world!)

Wanna see us break down the MTV Awards New Moon trailer like the old days (aka a couple freaks with too much time on their hands)? YES?! Do it!!

Chat it up in the forum?! You going to the Sam Bradley show in LA? I wanna see you, check out the Meet up section of the forum!


  1. Ewwww.



  2. at first i fel terribly 2nd hand embarrassed by the pic.
    and then…gah! it moved! it moved! its a freaky gif!!!

    wow i am so 2nd hand embarrassed by it but i cant stop laughing. weird.

    • it’s like a train wreck! you cant look away even though it’s horrifying!


  4. OMG, WHY?

    • i ask the same thing every day!

  5. That’s disguisting .. Pooor ROOOB ! I had to copy the letter in a WOrd file so that I don’t have to see the GIF ..That’s just .. SICK !

    • hahahaha… way to copy it into word!

    • SMART GIRL!! i had to keep scrolling away last night cause i was getting weirded out!

  6. Come on, admit it. You found this on the forum. It’s getting all kinds of creepy over there! Please don’t make me go back!!! I need my daily dose of Rob as much as the next woman, but ICK!

    • hahaha nah i think his royal highness himself fakerapattz posted it, i cant remeber exactly but he loves looking at himself!

      • that’s why I installed mirrors on my ceiling :O

  7. I voted for Dick. Is it bad that whenever you guys reference him i mentally adjust ‘Richard’ for ‘Hot Bitch’?

    • HAHAHA papa pattinson is a hot piece

  8. No….just, no, no.

    I need to bleach my eyes!

  9. OMG I had to pick my eyeballs up off the desk when I saw that atrocity. And that weird,creepy eyebrow waggle thing…thank God it’s not real.

  10. that pic is WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS…

    PLEASE…. don’t make us look at it!!!!!


  11. I love the Silver Fox that is Dick…so he got my vote!!

    • amen sister! we need a male dance revue of dick and rob! the thunder from the UK!

      • I’m all for the Full Monty…I’d buy a ticket.

  12. Why did you make us look at this… It so wrong. And where can I can a life-size version for my sister’s bachelorette party next weekend?

    • WIN!!!

      this is the new option they give you when you call up the strip people

      construction worker

  13. This is wrong on a thousand different levels. I feel so dirty now!

  14. dammnnn.. that is wrong, esp the puckered up pic right at the end makes me think he ate a sour skittle.

    • or something else happened! ZING ZING!

      • LOL someone grabbed his lil man?! 😛 yeah that was me……….

  15. Please expect the papers next weekend when I serve UC with a suit entailing the intional infliction of emotional distress.

    PS I had to cover that gif with my hand while I was reading the letter. That is how gross it is.

    • F*ck I can’t spell!

    • HAHAHAH UC will take the heat for me posting that monstrosity! HAHAHAHA thanks for looking out for me janet!

  16. MY EYES!!!!! THEY’RE BURNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST THREW UP A LITTLE IN MY MOUTH!!!! GROSS….EWWW what did we do to desrve this?!?!?!

  17. Oh for jizz sake! LOL!

    Hey, did anyone catch Access Hollywood last night? They were to have New Moon exclusive interviews (so they said) but my recording went wonky and I only got the last 15 minutes of the show. 😦 So did they have anything?

    • No, not really. I don’t remember anything earth shattering that I hadn’t already seen on the web.

      • Ok, whew, cause I was “lit’rally” on the verge of tears. LOL!
        Did they have any interviews with Rob backstage or anything?

    • i was on the wrong channel!!

  18. Make it stop! Make it stop!! I think his face photoshopped on a female stripper would have been better than that. Uggg!

  19. This is 2nd, 3th, 4th hand embarrassed!!! disgusting!!! I wonder if Mrs. Pattinson have seen this? I mean… Nooooo!!
    How can people have time to do such terrible things!!!
    it’s horrible!!!
    my eyes hurt! they hurt!! literally!
    Poor Rob!!! come on!!

    We love him too, we want to see him half naked (or totally) but not like this!! its freaky horrible!!! BIG BIG NO NO!!

    all I can say is: EEEEWWWWWWWW

  20. Yuck, Yuck, Yuck! omg, it was taking a little while for the pic to load, so I was reading and then all the sudden, THERE IT WAS AND OMG IT MOVED!

    It is too early for me to see that. I may have to check back later after cocktail-o-clock….

    Why, why do people channel their creative energy into this shizz? Why, God, why?

    And wtf is that? A cucumber??????????????????


    • beer thirty is needed to view IT again

  21. Oh. My. God.
    So completely disgusting.

    But…if REAL Rob wanted to dance for me in a red banana hammock, well, then that would be just find and dandy.

  22. Wow – that was hilarious! I’m tempted to click on the banana hammock tag and see what happens. I can only imagine..

  23. I think Oregano made it

    • LMAO! SCORE!

    • Yeah ..I’m SURE he did ..LOL

    • SO TRUE!

  24. I feel violated.
    This is by far the most sicknastiest thing ever created. I hope rob never sees this he will immediatly quit acting and go into hiding for the rest of his life. As would I.

  25. Ewwwwww



    My eyes!!

    Yeah, voted the last one, obvi.

  26. wtf?! That pic is so gross!!! Poor rob!!!

  27. I’m taking my glasses off now… My head hurts.
    I need some fresh air.
    You should have warned me!

    NOJENTO! (= gross)

  28. This is the last time i drink or eat something while checking LTR… that was disgusting!
    I almost choked when i saw that gif!!!!
    Geeez! Yuck!!
    Of course I’m sueing!!! hahaha

  29. Bahahahaha…I guess I the outcast cause I burst out laughing as soon as I saw the first shimmy. I’m still giggling. It is so sick. Yet funny. Like laughing hard enough that maybe (not saying it just happened to me or anything) but maybe something came out my nose.

    • it makes me laugh cause its SOOO bad!!!!

  30. ah..this is worse than the prince one. good lord. my eyes.

    I’m so sorry Rob.

    Dearest Rob,
    I am going to go find the new moon set pics to make me feel better. Feel free to come console me in person.
    Love, me xoxo

    • What are the prince ones?

    • seriously!! this is so much worse and its sad somone felt the need to top it!

  31. Totally gross!!!
    Just a quick rant……does anyone else think it’s so sad that when you have this sudden fame {like Rob} that you loose all control over what your face is put on?
    I don’t just mean this type of thing, what about that computer game thing where you get to dress Robward like those old fashioned paper dolls etc and lets be honest there’s an awful lot of toot out there in the name of merchandise.
    Also all this airport stalking has got to stop poor sod can’t even catch a plane without police escort now…..OK rant over going on forum for some happy time and juicy pics love the forum<3

  32. omg, please take this gif off the site. this is so offensive. if I were rob i would be so disappointed at you guys. you are laughing at him.

    • we’re laughing at the fake him. actually the guy who’s body this is should be offended!

  33. I think you crossed the line.. its just so disrespectful!

  34. I don’t know what the big deal is. I kinda like it

    • I’m sorry. That wasn’t me. That was my gay male alter ego

      • Sure it was UC…we know how you roll. And shimmy. And drop it like it’s hawt.

      • Hehehe, blame your alter ego for ‘crossing the line’. Did not know such a line existed here!

    • you MADE this!! in your ‘how to make creepy gifs of celebrities’ photoshop class

  35. this is so many different ways of wrong….

    too funny…

    I would say thanks for the laugh today… but I cant…

    • cant stop laughing now…

  36. cant stop laughing now

    • LOOK AWAY!! LOOK AWAY!!!!!!!!

  37. Which is worse? This or The Tuck?

    • Now that’s a profound question to ponder…

      I go with this, personally. Feel free to disagree.

    • I’m going with this, because at least the Tuck made sense, in context and all. (and the rest of the body was Real Rob, so WIN there)

  38. All sorts of wrong. WRONG WRONG!

  39. why?

  40. Ahh, I can’t even scroll back up I am so freaked out by that. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

    But you know when i conjure up the image in my brain, I start to laugh. Shoot, make it go away!

  41. Train wreck. So true!

  42. that is beyond WRONG!

  43. Moon and UC – did you see Sam’s tweet today about pour some sugar on me? Do you think that was a coincidence? I don’t! He TOTALLY read your blog today which is just freakin’ hilarious.

    I tried to tweet you buy you don’t follow me so you didn’t see it. Follow me! @jlpsu

    K, thanks!

    • @cm

      Hey long time no see!

      Where have you been, girl?

      Miss you!

      • I”ve been in the forum a bit (on the Robsten thread yesterday) and then mostly on Twitter. I stopped commenting here for the most part after the forum got up and running. But I miss it here!

        I’m sure you were happy yesterday, but we will not discuss here, lol!

  44. That was soooo EWWWW! Sick.

    “red stuffed banana hammock” LMFAO!!!!!!

  45. Who the heck writes this crap????

    (Don’t know if I did this correctly, cut and paste perhaps? But what a mess of an article.)

  46. Sam sooo read your post today. His tweet

    “samueltwitt1 Need a shower to wash the sin of rock off of my folky bones. Pour some sugar on me!”

  47. And crazy people who make GIFs like this is why I STAY in the Twilight closet.

    Christ Chex! Between this and some pap asking him if he was a vampire? I’m not embarassed…I’m stupified because of it.

    • I know, right? I had to tweet about the vampire pap question TWICE cuz I couldn’t believe how stupid it was. Really pap? Really? Are you a vampire in real life? You couldn’t have thought of a better annoying question than that one? How about “are you dating Kirsten” AGAIN or “are you dating Christine” or “Are you dating your coworker”. (yes, I mispelled the name on purpose – the paps can’t seem to get it right why should I). I’m slowly beginning to “get” why celebs often go postal on paps. I don’t think I could keep my chin down and stay calm the way he does. I think I would’ve lost it about, oh, um, 6 months ago.

      • He’s a SAINT. I swear to God I would SCREAM at them. I totally get Britney Spears and Lohan now. I would be like MOVE MFers!!!!! Not to mention most of those paps are ex-cons and they talk shit and say nasty things to egg them on. When he DOES flip out, I’ll love him even more.

  48. You girls and your eighties/early nineties references…

    “Pour some sugar on me?!”

    The facial expression is kinda funny… is that Blue Steel?

  49. what the hell was stuffed into the red hammock to make it look so ginormous???? and why do people have so much time on their hands to make stuff like this??

  50. WOW!!

    hmm …that gif is ALL KINDS OF WRONG!!!!

    yet sadly, I admit, I have been here already 3 times to look at it …why is that??

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