Rob does Praise and Worship

Dear Rob,

The Quad had some time today for a little pow-wow to discuss the latest pictures of you out and about in Vancouver. I think it was something about finally chatting together again after almost a week of Quad silence that had us a lil’ rowdy and well, you’ll see…Moon called us “prude girl nasty.” So take that as you will.

Oh, and I got tired of calling our two friends Friend #1 & #2, so I named them EastFriend & WestFriend… cuz… one of them lives East & the other lives West (Just like Moon & I.. aww!)

Just like The Tuck, we have to have a catchy name. So we’ve entitled the following conversation, “The one about The Praise and Worship set”

Love,
UnintendedChoice for The Quad

Letter to Bobby Long
UC: where is MOON!?
WestFriend: she hates us? oh i know…
Moon has joined
WestFriend: she is banging rob
EastFriend: no she’s not. i am.
WestFriend: Moon, were…
UC: …you banging rob?
Moon: DUH! always am. like it’s MY JOB
WestFriend: oh…well it’s like my hobby
EastFriend: it’s my job…’til I meet Bobby Long.
WestFriend: no one has to PAY me to bang him
Moon: girl, thats a full time position
EastFriend: Long. his last name is very telling.
UC:  i want to meet him too. he’s hot.  i will draft him a letter.  asking him to bang you and meet me for dinner
Moon: i bet he has a google alert for himself too [like Sam Bradley]

Painted his lips to keep the crazies away. (Didn't work)

Riding Dirty
WestFriend: dude… I can’t stop looking at Rob. I love that he is wearing the Edward do out and about.
UC: does he have makeup on too?  looks a little paler.  he’s so thin. he really is. are we worried about him? EastFriend, our Quad mama? Are you worried?
Moon: he defs touches up the lip stain before he steps out
EastFriend: i am worried.
WestFriend: he is totally wearing makeup because his face looks so…flawless. i am jealous. i’m sorta hatin’
EastFriend: need to make sure he’s sleeping well (alone) and taking his vitamins.
UC: flawless. so jealous. i wish he’d get a big honkin’ pimple. just once, so i feel better about myself
WestFriend: “I see Rob’s faaace…I’m hatin’…”
Moon: He’s a boy..they defy all odds:  weight, bad skin
EastFriend: WestFriend is singing.
Moon: riding DIRTY, huh?
WestFriend: “patrollin’…I’m trying to to ride Rob dirty”
“try to catch me ridin’ rob dirty…try to catch me ridin’ rob dirty”

Button-Fly:
WestFriend: I only have 20 minutes left 😦
EastFriend: ok.  go. on the pictures. i have 20 min, too…where’s Moon?
WestFriend: banging rob.  she said it was a full time POSITION. bow chicka bow wow. she doesn’t mess around
UC: i wrote some notes. So, it’s official, Rob has an iphone, and not a motorola series 2 from 1997 like I thought
WestFriend: which is banging hot
UC:  at least we know the camera is clear enough to get hot pics of us in bed, when the time comes
Moon: the better to send me pics from
UC: we’ll send them to you guys, of course
EastFriend: he was using the phone as a prop–  cause you KNOW he wasn’t talking to anyone. just shielding himself from the paps.
Here I go with my thoughts: his feet are huge. he wears button-flys (flies?)
UC: what are button-flies?
Moon: instead of zipper. very 1999
EastFriend: buttons–instead of zipper. no–very 1989.
Moon: seriously do they still make those?
WestFriend: i had some limited too button flies
EastFriend: it was the RAGE when I was in middle school
WestFriend: they were…HIP
EastFriend: I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!
Moon: like, i haven’t had a button fly pair in a decade
EastFriend: i never wore them…too hard to get off when you have to pee.
Moon: easier!!  you just pull and let em rip
WestFriend: (WestFriend hides her button fly jeans she is wearing)...yeah…i haven’t worn them in a decade…
EastFriend: I love that Rob was working them.
Moon: they add extra bulk to the package area, JUST SAYING!!
UC: and if one button comes undone, well then, you know…it can slip out. Which is not a bad thing
WestFriend: he is so skinny…do you think that he got them at limited too, like me?
Moon: size 6x
WestFriend: Actually, i think those are MINE… which isn’t surprising because….you know how it is..

You know you want to read the rest. After the jump you’ll find why we named the set, learn about our dumpster dreams, discover who says “fudge” and wait, we might have discovered Rob’s one flaw?

"He touched me. Oh, He touched me. Oh, the joy that floods my soul..."

The one where were name the set:
Moon: Rob is standing in front of a sign that says “A Night of Praise.” PRAISE SERVICE
EastFriend:  PRAISE JESUS!
Moon: i couldn’t have planned that better myself
EastFriend: how ’bout the “push here to open” button covering his bootay?
WestFriend: Rob is POSING…
EastFriend: he is SO posing.
WestFriend: he just standing there
EastFriend: he knows the cameras are snapping.
Moon: in front of a church. its his secret sign to us
WestFriend: pretending to talk on the phone
UC: he’s like.. hell NO you don’t need a praise service when i’m around.
It is our secret sign. he knows we love talking sunday school
WestFriend: UC wins
UC: do you think he was whistling “come now is the time to worship?”
Moon: YES
UC: and texting kellan the lyrics?
Moon: he’s trying to convince me to be HIS accountability partner instead of kellan’s. i know his tricks
EastFriend: well, he has a lot to explain about this weekend…  and be held accountable for…”Uh–I tapped Nikki’s ass…”
Moon: HAHAHAHA. amen.  our “meetings” will just devolve into making out.  over a copy of ‘the purpose driven life’
UC: on top of it
EastFriend: my purpose is his life.

Ashely is never not hot

Dumpster Dreams:
EastFriend: i’ve decided i’d rather not know about all these fan encounters. cause they enable my rage.
UC: they’re ruining it for us normal ppl who just want to blow him behind a dumpster
Moon: i’ve decided i may stop looking at set pics.  i feel like im seeing TOO much
UC: Need to insert Non-Rob talk: i want to take off Ashley’s shirt and make her my girfriend
EastFriend: love the black bra
Moon: shes hot
UC: it’s my hand
WestFriend: i found my husband looking at pictures of her over the weekend, and i was ok with it
UC:  haha. okay good cuz..  well, ya know..  you talk about tappin’ that w/ rob

"he touched me... Oh, he touched me... oh the joy that floods my soul..."

Fudge & Proof:
EastFriend: um….this…
UC: PROOF
EastFriend: look at how she’s looking at him.
UC: she loves him
EastFriend: EXACTLY.
UC: “because she loves me”
EastFriend: she’s all, “can we just go get it on now?”
UC: fudge he looks hot. i don’t blame her
Moon: his other ONE outfit
UC: i say fudge now, btw
WestFriend: “you.me.bangin.now…PS…bring a bong”
EastFriend: BONG! WestFriend WINS!!!!!!  she is totally eye-effing him.
Moon: i heard a dude say “fudge” the other day, and i was like ‘ya know how i know you’re gay?’

A new shirt:
EastFriend: (do we LOVE knowing that rob and sam will read this? cause they WILL and want to be our friends.). i’ll make them t-shirt…. They’ll buy it
Moon: cause WE’RE NORMAL
UC: THAT’S NORMAL
EastFriend: “I love The Quad” (with a heart instead of love)
UC: It needs to be tight
Moon: It’ll be Rob’s ONLY new shirt purchase in decades

Too much time on your back, babe

The thin spot:
UC: um i have another note
WestFriend: i think rob would want to bang us
UC: that LAST pic w/ rob’s skinny ass? did you see the back of his head? i’ve noticed this before. I fear.. that he will go bald in that spot. Just there
Moon: oh noooooooooooooooooooooo
UC: it’s prob b/c of being on his back so much
WestFriend: he WILL go bald
UC: when i’m riding him
EastFriend: i’ve said it before–but it’s cause he’s got his hands in his hair so darn much.
WestFriend: but in bed…we wont see
UC: Right, we won’t see in bed
WestFriend: ask him to turn off the lights…it ain’t no thang
EastFriend: oh no–lights ON with him.  so i can see his O face, when it’s 2 inches from mine.
WestFriend: ok…tell him to keep the beanie on
UC: Um, I have a birthday party to attend. and by birthday party i mean i have to sing happy bday in an office then come back to my desk

The End:
UC: can we discuss that he got a new shirt? clearly?  he now has 2.
Moon: the plaid one?  thats old
UC: no. a new T, I think. I just saw it recently…
WestFriend: rob…kills me. In a good way
UC: He hit up the canadian version of wal-mart- canuck-mart?
WestFriend has left
Moon: love that random last thought, WestFriend

Let’s say it all day “because she loves me.” (It’s been in my head since we discussed it.. grrr damn adorable Rob)