Posted by: Bekah | March 23, 2009

The fakers are amazing

Stephanie Ritz- I made Rob Pattinson a US sensation.

Stephanie Ritz- I made Rob Pattinson a US sensation. (actually, I think we have Mr. & Mrs. Pattinson to thank for THIS sensation)

Dear Rob,

You’ve made it- you know why? There are fake versions of you on Twitter. And they’re hilarious. This whole little fake world has been built. There’s a fake you, your manager Nick, agent Stephanie, your sister, your dog, Stephenie Meyer, TomStu, Kristen, Nikki Reed, all the girls you’ve rumored to have been with or impregnated, Paris Hilton… the list goes on and on! Best yet- they’re really good at pretending to do or say or “tweet” what you might actually do/so/tweet in real life. I’ve taken the liberty of jotting down my favorite tweets or convos I’ve seen in the past few weeks:

Quick Twitter lesson for the unfamiliar. You use the “@” followed by the username when you want to reply directly to someone! I’ve taken out the twitter names and used their real names- to make it easier to follow!

Nick Frenkel, Pimpin' and representin' since 2001

Nick Frenkel, Pimpin' and representin' since 2001

a

Starring:
Fake manager- Nick:
Fake Agent- StephanieR
FakeTomStu- Tom Sturridge (Your apparent bff)
Rob- YOU!

Most of these tweets are right before the Oscars and/or during the Oscars!

Nick: I don’t get paid enough for this shit.
Nick: @Rob Practically a week of press without the words “inebriated” “drunk” or “stumbling” has been nice. Just a reminder.
Nick: @Rob Joaquin Phoenix is a self-important douche. I’m buying you a razor. We’ll discuss this later.

StephanieR: @Rob The only girl you need to make happy is ME. Now get a damn razor and shave. The girls love your jaw line. It makes the money.
StephanieR: Seeing this picture [of Rob] reminds me I need to schedule Rob an eyebrow wax before Sunday.

Nick: Have decided to tell Rob that the fans love the beard and he is not allowed to shave, period. That should ensure he shaves it off tomorrow.

StephanieR: Rob will be clean shaven. He cannot wear Prada with a beard. No, seriously, Prada said NO FACIAL HAIR with their tux.
StephanieR: @Nick Last time you said you had it covered, he ran off and got a buzz cut! And try to make sure the new tux is free of stains.

Nick: @TomStu Tom, stop crying. Sorry, you CANNOT walk the red carpet with Rob. And don’t drink and tweet…ever.
Nick: @Rob I’m on the way. I’m bringing a razor. I’ll tie you down if I have to. Prepare yourself.
Nick: @StephanieR Sturridge has been taken care of. You promised him a shot? What were you thinking? You know there’s no such thing as one

StephanieR: Must make sure he [Rob] doesn’t sneak a flask into the limo if he does wind up walking the Red Carpet. Can’t use the mouthwash excuse again.
StephanieR: @Rob Fine, you can have ONE shot bottle of Jack for the ride. That’s it. And please don’t spill any on that tux, it’s a rental!
StephanieR: is proud of Rob. He hasn’t been lying to me like the time he said he was using Invisalign and wasn’t; he really has been working out!
StephanieR: @Rob You are so lucky you are hot, and that teen fangirls have a low expectation of your personal hygiene habits.

The hilarity continues after the jump

Rob and Tom. BFFs? Or Lovers...?

Rob and Tom. BFFs? Or Lovers...?

Fake Tom is upset that Rob did not invite him to the Oscars. He gets drunk and makes us laugh.

StephanieR: @TomStu Tom, I’m worried. I’m not sure how much longer I can use the “He’s not drunk, he’s just British” line when talking about you

TomStu: Considering moving to Spain and changing name to Tomás. Think Spanish rap career could be v. lucrative.
TomStu: @letter2twilight ave wbeen dum[ed fpr fame nd pscars. ifod he lokewd it trhen eh dshould haqve piut a rinfg o it
*my personal favorite (and not just b/c it was a reply to us- I asked what was wrong- he replied. Translation: have been dumped for fame and oscars. if he loved it then he should’ve put a ring on it)

StephanieR: @TomStu Have you been reading “He’s Just Not That Into You?” again Tom????
TomStu: @StephanieR
ye and also “men are fgrom mars womrn are from venus”. trhey’ve shown me th ati i am a valuablr individuel and rob uses me.

TomStu: will make effort to type legi… legebl… good.
TomStu: rob on nezxt. intent to chgug tequila
TomStu: seme to have fallen and canot get up

many tweets later we discover “TomStu” has been taken to the hospital for alcohol poisening

TomStu: manly nurse took my flask and yelled at me. did not cry. may have wept a bit. discharged, caught ride with nice indian man who gave me beer.
TomStu:nice indian man is apparently not-so-nice cabbie. thought he just drove a yellow car. expects fare. do not have any money. bugger.
TomStu: nice homeless man offered to share his box with me. hobo joe has beautiful soul. v. supportive when i blathered about relationship with rob.

Nick: @Kristen I saw several of the hotel staff crying and wondered why. Now I understand. Welcome to Tokyo.

We even got a letter to you from Paris Hilton a few weeks ago!

Dear Rob,

Why haven’t you been taking my calls? I am so sad without you Rob! Nikki (Hilton) keeps telling me that I should let you go but I can’t. You have dazzled me and like Bella I can no longer go on without you. I’m dying Rob please answer my calls! I thought you liked me last month at the Oscars after party? We talked for so long and well you know… How could you forget me so easily??? Didn’t you enjoy your One Night in Paris? I thought you liked it when I said: “That’s hot!” all the time. Who’s this Anika person I keep hearing about? I use Doug as a cover but you know that.

You know I thought my fans were sort of creepy but now I’m feeling the hate from yours. Some of them are just creepy!

I have stopped sleeping just to prepare myself for when you bite me and turn me into a vampire. I hear vampires only drink blood. Blood isn’t fattening is it?

And just remember I got my eye on you boy, and when I get my eye on something, it’s like search and destroy.

Call me!
Paris
xoxoxo

You’ve made it!
Love,
UC & Moon

Follow US on Twitter! We’re not fake: Letter2Twilight

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Responses

  1. Hahaha. I think I’ll have to start twittering… :p that’s pretty hilarious!

  2. I have to, again, say … you guys are hee-freakin-larious!! I’m sitting here laughing my arse off, wondering why the dog keeps looking at me like I am nutz!! He just does NOT get it!

  3. You’re right, fake or not that shizz is Funny!

  4. So sad I don’t get the whole twitter thing, that seems to be fun!

    • I don’t get it, either! Fear not, you aren’t alone. Amber was giving tutorials a while back, maybe she can help you!

      • I do it, and I hardly get it. Just sign up, find some friends, and jump in. My twitter name is MadameVogue. If you find me, you can see who I “follow” which are a bunch of the girls here, so that’s a start!
        Yeah, Amber has a rocking tutorial, but I don’t have a link…..

        CAN SOMEONE PLEASE POST THE LINK TO AMBER’S TWITTER TUTORIAL?

        THANKS!!!

  5. Dear Tom
    How do I break this to you…… you see, Rob has traded you for ME! There. Now you know. Have a great day!

    xoxo
    FutureMrsP

    • Hey MrsP! You lucky girl! Well, you ARE prettier than Tom!

      I’m pimpin this morning, for those who missed it last night. I put my very first attempt at video making on my blog last night 😀

      Enjoy!

      • yay! going there now!

  6. LMAO

    I thought before it was really them, the FAKE got me on that.bwahahaha..when i realiazed it was not them i rarely visit the site, most of the time am just reading the blogs and its FUNNY though this ppl are good in pretending “THUMBS*

    Love u guys

  7. This post is one example of how faking it can be a good thing! /Martha Stewart

  8. those FAKERS are fucking amazing!! LOLZ

    really very very good and they always made my day, everytime i logged on twitter, am always laughing out loud specially the convo between Rob and Tom…really fun *LMAO*

  9. Great blog topic today!! You ladies are so damn clever!!

    Moon & UC – I have to tip my hat and flash my boobies to ya; you give us something EVERY DAY. That is no small feat!!

    I just started Twittering. Don’t have a lot of time for it (I allot myself a certain amount of “free online time” during worknights and on my days off, and I spend much of it here or reading Twiporn).

    Twitter can be a huge time-sucking black hole like Facebook, if you let it.

    Since finding LTR and the accompanying Rob related sites, I’ve virtually dropped off the face of the earth as far as my other online networking groups go. Like, productive, work related groups that help me network, learn, build my business, update my skills, you know….. “real life” related stuff that is a bit important! LOL!

    Not that LTR and Rob aren’t!

    In the words of Edward Cullen (well, sort of): “Rob, you are my life now.”

    And to quote Gen from last night “Not only can we all obsess and ponder all that is Robert Thomas Pattinson here but think about this- we have in the process of our obsessing met some pretty terrific gals that IMO are becoming like friends.”

    Abso-freakin-lutely! I am so thrilled to be in the company of such a clever, diverse, and might I say, fairly educated group!!

    If only all these media retards knew that Rob’s fan base were much more sophisticated than just screaming tweens!! ARRRRGGH!!!

    • “And to quote Gen from last night “Not only can we all obsess and ponder all that is Robert Thomas Pattinson here but think about this- we have in the process of our obsessing met some pretty terrific gals that IMO are becoming like friends.”

      Abso-freakin-lutely! I am so thrilled to be in the company of such a clever, diverse, and might I say, fairly educated group!!

      If only all these media retards knew that Rob’s fan base were much more sophisticated than just screaming tweens!! ARRRRGGH!!!”

      Couldn’t have said it better!

  10. ROFL…great post ladies! I check in w/ FakerPattz a couple times a day just to see what he’s up to. LOL

    Good morning all! 🙂

  11. I love the FAKERS! They are better than the real deal, they answer your tweets and make you laugh!

    @Vogue looooove the video. You R A Dirty Girl ❤

  12. @vogue – aw, love you too and I too love our group of smart women! Your vid gives me tingles in my special no-no place!

    @futureMrsP- oh yeah 😉 You are a sharer right?

    @Uc and Moon – nothing but love for you guys! I really appreciate your dedication to this. Seriously, even when you are on vacation you make sure us girls are satisfied. We love you forever!

    @sass hahaha…”Its a good thing”…oh martha.

    @JAG – that is what I think too, the fake ones are hilarious.

    @vanessaj – I always check on the fakers too. I loved when Nick had the Walmart logo as his background! LOL

  13. UC/Moon: as clever as ever!!
    This is the bit that made me rock with laughter:

    “Nick: Have decided to tell Rob that the fans love the beard and he is not allowed to shave, period. That should ensure he shaves it off tomorrow.”

    BTW: I had a shitty end-of-workweek on Fri and a shitty week-end pestered with, in good order:
    a) a real “pain in the neck”: got in car crash last Sept and my neck hasnt been the same ever since.
    b) tricky work situation: my professional life might take a GREAT turn very soon. Lots of decisions to make. Will keep you posted.
    c) No internet connection at home till Wed due to local network breakdown, ie NO LTR, No Twiporn!!!

    So…I really missed you all and I totally second Gen’s and Vogue’s view above:
    “And to quote Gen from last night “Not only can we all obsess and ponder all that is Robert Thomas Pattinson here but think about this- we have in the process of our obsessing met some pretty terrific gals that IMO are becoming like friends.”

    Back to you…and let me say to the US gals: I envy you like crazy for ALL your DVDs!!!!

    re GQ: out on your newsstands yet? I need to unleash by Boston contact…

    • Monica, you’re in England right?? I have some extra GQ’s that I bought for my LTR friends who might not be able to get one.

      Regarding your post:

      I hear you on the neck. I was in a car accident when I was 16, got BAD BAD whiplash, and have been in chronic pain ever since. I’ve had traction, meds, nerve block shots, adjustments, massage, etc… it sucks, but it’s how we live. I get pain up and down my back, muscle spasms, etc…. IT SUCKS. I’m actually on my way to my weekly massage after I write this reply. I’m so lucky to have a friend who I do trades with so I don’t have to pay $$ (I give her waxing and facials, she massages me). I’d be so screwed without her. Never mind some other physical probs I have. Long story. Will share that one another time.

      GOOD LUCK on the job front!! I’ll send you some positive energy today for that!! Cross your fingers for Monica everybody!

      OMG, NO INTERNET???!!! Honestly, what’s worse? Losing your wallet, or no internet? Its a toss up. (no credit cards in wallet, just cash).

      • @Vogue: (((vogue))) Thanks, so sweet of you….This effing whiplash has been knocking me week end in week end out since Sept. When it’s windy and the weather changes, I cant go without pain meds. I have a friend who massages me, it helps, but there’s another part of my skeleton down the drain….after the swimming probs, after the volleyball probs…I’d say sport is definitely bad for your health!!

        re GQ: soo sweet of you to think of me, I’m in Italy but I’ve unleashed a friend in Boston who has promised to buy a bunch of GQ’s for me after taking a joke or two at my expense…(she’s nigh on 75 and is my mom’s former boss’s wife – my mom was PA to a US expat executive in her heyday, ie before I walked this earth…)

        re Job front: thanks again!!! I am now in a Magic Circle Law firm and might move to another alongside my boss…Wont’ say more till I know more…ie tomorrow!!!

        re NO NET: worse than the wallet…would be losing my iPhone now stocked with over 240 RobPics…

        • Are you having muscle spasms? what’s happening in your neck? warm packs to loosen, alternating with cold packs for swelling, and hopefully you’ve got some stretches from your therapist. I’ve been nearly paralyzed at times from pain, seriously. We’ll talk more later.

          are you a lawyer?

          • Wow, thanks for neck-advice. What I actually feel is more like a general “stiffening” and if I move too fast at times, I feel a pang of electricity (Sorry Rob, you’re not the only one to cause me electricity pangs at times).
            Sometimes there’s no reason or rhyme to this, but sitting at a PC for 9 hrs a day doesnt’ help. Plus the writing at home doesnt’ help…

            I’m not a lawyer but close enough. I am a legal personal assistant, which means I have uncanny skills in taking care of my 4 bosses (2 senior lawyers, 2 partners) and keeping track of their whereabouts at all times of day. I am also my boss’s ghost writer…
            Which leads me to say: Rob, if you need an assistant, I can move to London tomorrow!!!

  14. @Kristin…I am assuming that special ‘no-no’ place becomes a yes-please-and-hurry’ place when Rob is involved?

    • exactly. LOL

      • Ahhhh…..the secret no-no spot. I like the way you think, Sass!!

        We really should call it the yes-yes spot!!

        Kristin, I’m loving your avatar, by the way! Your pic reminds me of…..Pink. Hope you can see that’s a compliment, because I think she’s so cute (and pretty) and I love her sassy energy.

        • @Vogue

          We really should call it the yes-yes spot!!

          LMFAO!!!

          And what’s with yours and Kristin’s avatars??? Esp. yours Vogue? You got Monster face goin’ on…where’s your pretty little visage?

          Just trying to fake lesbian romance you…LOL!

          • Awwww, SpunkME! bend over so I can kiss you on the lips. Ha! ha!

            I can see my avatar! That’s weird!

            I gotta run, but will be back laterz!!

  15. Great post- I’ve checked in on the fakers on Twitter and had a good laugh.

    What is even funnier, however, are the people who don’t know that the fake twitters are actually fake!

  16. @junsikat
    @Steph

    So sad I don’t get the whole twitter thing, that seems to be fun!

    @Vogue

    Twitter can be a huge time-sucking black hole like Facebook, if you let it.

    I just can’t add more to my overflowing Robsession! I’ll depend on you RobTwitter gals to keep me posted here.

    @UC and Moon
    It was fun to read the post today though! Cracked up!

    @JAG –Gettin’ your dirty fix of Twiporn so early this morning?! I like it!! Join you soon! We can be fake lesbians together to turn Rob on!

    @Vogue Wanna make it a foursome? Yes? Well then get on it –like lickety!

    • “@Vogue Wanna make it a foursome? Yes? Well then get on it –like lickety!”

      Not sure I’m following you on the foursome?? I’m still a bit slow this morning. Who else is involved?? LOL!

      I like that you said “lickety”. It reminds me of Rob doing lickey-lickey-lickey-lickey with that demonic tongue of his in my vid!!! AAAAHHHH!!!!

      To Rob’s tongue – “Yess…. no, no, stop, I can’t take anymore…..oh, yeeessssss, yes! no! no! yes! no! head thrashing back and forth….my brain is mush, I can’t make up my mind!! “

      • @Vogue

        You, me, JAG and Rob!

        Others are welcome! We will share with fellow LTR gals!

        Oh and yes that Tongue that vid is officially added to the session after Rob prayer time!

  17. Speaking of Rob, it is time for my mid-morning snack. I am having a banana.

  18. I’m getting really tired of wordpress signing me out….the little monster is back again…ggrrr

    Hey did you ladies see that Rob might have been hurt on set?!?! I have read it 2 places now! That he got hit in the head with a heavy metal sign that got taken off by a gust of wind! Poor baby!

    Dear Rob,
    I have some ideas on how you can forget about how bad your head on your shoulders hurts. We’ll just focus on the lower one, mmkay? I will even be your naughty nurse and make your boo-boo all better.
    Love, Kristin

    • @Kristin: I saw that too and got instantly worried. Though for a second I had an inkling it could be directed at Sour Puss and Rob got in the way of destiny….

      Am I wicked?

    • @Kristin

      HOLY SH*T!

      My heart totally dropped into my stomach! I am so glad he is ok! When did that happen? Poor baby!

      We definitely need to kiss both his heads and make them feel soooo much better!

      That just goes back to our posts the other night about feeling so worried that something so bad could happen to him!

      Attention please Attention please! All Rob followers should report to the Den of Sin (aka Rob’s bedroom for all new initiates) immediately for prayers to be made to God that he protect our Cult Leader, Rob from any and all dangers. Prayer time will be immediately followed by a few short vid clips –NIN and BnG on JAG’s site and finished with a session of Robasterbation–hopefully Rob will be overseeing this and help out where needed. That is all.

      • SERIOUSLY!! Start the prayer circle/prayer chain!!

        Don’t mock or scoff, you nonbelievers!! Read “The Intention Experiment” by Lynne McTaggart.
        They are proving with quantum physics that we CAN affect matter and change history with our thoughts!!!

        Read Dr. Emoto’s book on the Messages In Water, or something like that. And if you’ve never seen the movie aka documentary “What the Bleep do We Know?”, GET IT.

        Our thoughts are very powerful. FOR REALZ.

        This shit is mindblowing!!!

        (Sending Rob loving, healing thoughts. Not being selfish, no sex, no lusting. Just this once).

    • omg..if thats true he needs to be watched 24/7, look what just happened to poor natasha richardson..head injuries are freakin scary..

  19. @Sass, speaking of snacks, I saw one this morning on Robsessed:

    Could do as a good RobCrotch pic…and wow, I love the man’s legs on this one…

    • I f*cking love that picture!!

      • @Sass

        You brought a snack.

        I hope you thoroughly enjoyed your breakfast!

        • I did, it was, um, very filling.

          • @Sass I’m sure Rob is pleased you swallowed all he gave you!

    • I HAVE enjoyed my breakfast actually….and here goes my afternoon snack (b/c on the old continent, we’re through with lunch already):

    • OMG! I love that picture. I am laughing so hard right now though…
      My 3 year old is sitting in my lap and I opened the picture and she goes “Is that my daddy?”…I was like “I WISH!” and she goes “me too, he is nice”. LMAO.

      My poor hubby. Don’t worry I redeemed him by telling her that her daddy was pretty great and we love him too..LOL

      • @Kristin: your 3yr old rocks!!!

        BTW, did you read that our DH’s and significant ones have been dubbed “TWilight widowers”??? ours would be more aptly named RobDowers… (other RobIsm)

        • ROBOWERS! yes, that is totally my poor hubby,

          OKAY REALLY LEAVING NOW! LOL!

          • And mine as well….since I’m widowing him for a whole week end to go to Montepulciano… ahahaha

          • LOL….how bout Robvorcees …after our hubbies divorce us for one too many slip ups…”No Rob , I mean JOHN I haven’t paid the mortgage.”

      • haha! You are going to be in trouble when she’s older. She sounds like she’s going to take after you!

    • Thanks Monica. It has been added to RobCrotch 2 file. 🙂

  20. Ya’ll are genius! Pure genius.

    Thanks for this post….let me tell you, trying to choke back the coffee from coming out of my nose is very difficult & disgusting!<–TMI?….k…sorry.

    You make me want to follow the fakers now…for a good laugh!

  21. Summon The FBR

    Is this Rob? Is that his crotch?

    Get out the forensics stat!

    http://tinyurl.com/c4r8tm

    • @JAG

      Nice detective work!

      That place in between my legs is screaming “YES!”

      Keep detecting! You are on the verge of paydirt!

      If that is him, he is lookin’ fine in that blue shirt and dark pants/jeans!!!

      • THis is at Sam Bradleys concert Friday in Robcouver. We need pix of Robs belt buckles to see if we find a match.

        @Gen where r u?

        • @JAG

          Robcouver

          LOL!!

          And the third list of Robisms are off and running!!!!!!!

          Robcouver for some reason makes me think it sounds like Rob beaver which makes me think of Vogue’s vid with the lickety tongue!

          Anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, just click on Vogue’s name to link to her site and watch her new video! It’s Robgasmic!

        • After watching the vids again, he is definitely standing on that side of the stage where the guy is in the photo b/c that’s where Sam keeps walking off to.

    • No way, No way!!! Not HHW in any way!!!!

      • Look in the background…not the guy with the guitar…I had to look twice…had the same first reaction–thought JAG had lost her mind!

        • You had me….right there!!!
          Blimey, that woman (JAG) rocks!!!

          One question: at what unimaginable level of depravity have we all got to, that we can pick this man’s “anatomy” everywhere? In any clothes (wish it was without those…) ? In any conditions? OMFG….

          • “One question: at what unimaginable level of depravity have we all got to, that we can pick this man’s “anatomy” everywhere?”

            I just spit Diet Coke on my desk! My boss is looking at me. Opps! LOL

          • @VanessaJ: glad you enjoyed that one. I feel pretty pathetic myself…when I didnt’ recognize the light blue shirt in the pic posted below…the investigation one… 😉

        • humm..its possible but i don’t see him wearing a belt accept for photo shoots…..humm…we need further photographic evidence. If only we could see the other leg of those jeans. If it had the tear…well we know we are in business 😉

          Okay off to the gym ladies! Gotta be ready for any possible Bump n’ Grind action with you girls and/or Rob! LOL!

    • I’ve never seen a picture where he wears a light blue shirt like this…Hmm, I don’t think it’s him unless he was out shopping for new shirts in Robcouver 😉

      • A new shirt? One we don’t know? Is that even possible? Gone shopping without our supervision?? 😉

        • LOL Monica- I missed you (was just thinking about you yesterday)! Glad to see you again!

          • Gen!!!! My luurrrve!!! Glad to see you again too!!! Missed you so much!

            I hope you dont’ mind me stealing your role with posting the pics earlier…I am looking fwd to yours today !

          • @Monica- post away! Always glad to see Rob in any way shape or form! Did you see the pics I posted from yesterday? It’s worth it- especially the water Rob! I’ll see what I can do for you today! LOL!

    • I don’t think so. That guy is dressed to mice and has a belt on. Rob doesn’t wear belts or tuck shirt in.

  22. Were these posted last night?

    I haven’t had time to check??

    Posting for all who haven’t seen…

    Well, here is Rob’s buddy Sam singing…he is looking off stage a lot and laughing–we believe at Rob

  23. Keep up the detective work, get Gen on the case. I have to go into the real world now *sigh* I’ll check back around lunch.

    • @JAG

      miss you!

  24. i cant tell you how many times that a fake kristen tweet would pop up on my phone and i would LOL whereever i was at the time..haha..so hillarious.

  25. Did Rpatznewss post the video on twitter?

  26. Top of the Morning to you lovely LTR gals-

    @UC & Moon- Love this post! Had me cracking up (as usual). I particularily liked this one ‘Have decided to tell Rob that the fans love the beard and he is not allowed to shave, period. That will ensure that he shaves it off tommorrow’ LMAO!
    Damn good way to start the morning! R u girls having fun!

    @Vogue – Thx for the ‘shoutout’ this morning. You are a loverly girl! *smooch*

    @JAG- Here I am- feeling a bit shiteous today but I’m hanging in there. *smooch*

    • @Gen: we loved the SAME bit of the post!!! Now…Great Robminds think alike…if this isnt’ love my dear… 🙂

      • @Monica- I know I read your post after I wrote that but I thought what the hey! I guess we’re TWINNERS! ❤ ya my ‘bella ragazza’!

        • LOL!!! Ciao Tesoro! You rock!

  27. The fakers are AWESOME!! I have my own group for them on Tweet Deck so I can follow all their crazy convos. They make Twittering so much fun.

    I remember when I got the email that @fakerpattz was following me and the subject line just read “Rob Pattinson is now following you on Twitter”.

    All I could think was, “That’s right…who’s the stalker NOW, bitch?!?”

    • @Amber: who’s the stalker…LOL!!!

    • @Amber- Just reading that line ‘Rob Pattinson is now following you’ almost made me pass out! LOL! We can dream right?

      • definitely…

      • Me too. Even though I know its the faker, I kinda saved that email. Pathetic, I know…

        BTW – If any of you ladies are following me and I’m not following you back, let me know. Since usernames change, it’s hard to tell who is from LTR and who is just following me for other random reasons.

  28. @Gen re pics: not all of them!!! I need catching up badly!!! and I must work *sigh* so I can’t spend the day blogging as much as I wish to… 😦
    But I am sure they were AWESOME…

  29. Hello LTR ladies,
    MAn oh man have I been stressed out without access to my fav site! Still no computer though, frigging thing is screwed and back in the shop again 😦 My life without Rob and the internet is so meaningless…… Oh wait that may offend my husband and kids!

  30. On a separate matter, ladies.
    I am not (yet) into the Twitter abyss – I guess it would dramatically shorten my working day…
    But I am already knee-deep in the Facebook abyss.
    Anyone care to add me? I am registered with my “legal” name there: Monica Manunta (only one in italy with that name…)

    • Your name sounds beautiful when you speak it out loud…I love the Italian pronounciation. Unfortunately I couldn’t take lessons at the university b/c I’ve been so busy with my studies 😦

      • @junsikat: thanks ! btw, in italian it’s actually quite tricky to say…and I always need to spell this…twice!!! 😀

  31. OK Monica- Here’s a little s/t to perk up your day! hee hee!

    http://www.robertpattinsonsource.org/gallery/displayimage.php?pid=8030&fullsize=1

    • ooooooohhhhhhhhhhh………myyyyyyy…..freaaaaaaakiiiinnnngggg……goooooddddd!!!!

      1st pic: you can really count every blackhead there!!! And I guess it was in the 6th no-hair-wash weeks from the looks of it…

      2nd pic: no words…Rob, wet, naked, helpless…..I.AM.DIED.

  32. Oh, forgot to tell you all…

    DH watched the movie with me Saturday and he LIKED it! So much so, that he watched the version with the commentary last night and really enjoyed that as well. He thought Rob was pretty hilarious!

    AND he said Rob definitely moved to 3 or 4 on his man crush list!! How cool is my DH now?

    I blogged about it, I was so happy!! http://joebendesigns.wordpress.com/2009/03/22/my-hubby-watched-twilight-and-he-liked-it-score/

    • Wow! He goes on our LTR Cool Guys list alongside Mr Soccermom!!!

  33. Did anyone read the two new chapters of the office? I read them last night… I couldn’t fall asleep afterwards. That story is all win!

    • @Carterhr

      You know I’m a Twiporn slut!

      yeah, I read it too!

      That last chpt..Guess who’s coming to dinner? was so hot!!!

      I want more!

      • Me tooooo I’m going to write the most slammin’ review for the authors later tonight. I love love LOVE those girls. The Beautiful Bastard has totally infiltrated all of my fantasies as of late…

        • Oh yes, Love me some Beautiful Bastard! He is sooooo hot!

          LOVED also the scene in chpt 4, the La Perla dressing room! Smokin’–burnin’ through my panties hot! Such a naughty Rob is lookin’ back at me in that mirror! ifyaknowwhatimsayinandithinkyado

          Tell them to post next chpts ASAP!!!

          NEED IT.

    • @carter: By the way thanks for the tutorial on how to reach I Love LA. Will read that one as soon as my connection at home revives… 😦
      Could you be one awesome lady and update me on the Office? I am not into that one yet (now I’m onto the Dark side of the Moon – after I swallowed in one go Midnight Desire – great – and Wide Awake – all time fave, I love Darkward madly)…

    • Monica –

      I’m serious, read The Office as soon as you get your computer back up and running! You will not be disappointed.

      Here’s the plot on the Office – Edward is Bella’s boss at an advertising agency. Bella is crazy smart and a great assistant, but Edward is a total jackass towards her at all times. Bella and her friends call Edward “Beautiful Bastard” as a joke. One night the two of them are having a meeting in the conference room, and Edward puts his hand on Bella’s ass… and then it all spirals out of control. There isn’t much to say other than it’s totally HOT. The lemons are amazing and so well written. I totally heart the two authors, and I’m always checking to see if they have updated it!

      Seriously… get on it Monica!!! =)

      • Wow!!!! This gives me food for thought…I’m an assistant too!! Wish Edward was my boss!!

        HOW.DO.I.FIND.THIS???? Fanfiction?

        • Yeah it’s on fan fiction and twilighted… But it would be faster to hit http://www.pervpackssmutshack.com (site is NOT safe for work btw) and they had a post on it (it’s not on the first page but if you browse down to the bottom of the page and click “older posts” i think it’s on the 2nd or 3rd pages of older posts). it’s on both fan fiction and twilighted, but i had trouble finding it once when i went to fanfiction because there are a lot of stories with similar names.

          • Will get on it as soon as the net comes back to me!!!
            thanks

          • Here’s the fanfic link direct to chpt one…

            http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4871819/1/The_Office

          • Thanks ladies – could not get my fix of LTR last night b/c of crappy connection at home. I managed to read but not to post back.. S**T…!
            Now I am printing the office…so that can have something worthwhile to read tonight when I commute back home…:D

  34. Good almost afternoon.

    I hope you all had a wonderful weekend in the Twilight bubble. I know I did.

    I got my DH to watch the commentary version with me. I think Rob grew on him a little. He’s never liked him (jealous) but he thought it was cool that Rob was picking on himself. Baby steps.

    I had a very strange thing happen this weekend. As I was watching all of the Twilight stuff I realized that Edward just wasn’t that hot to me anymore. *Ducks to avoid all the hate*

    I know that it’s Rob, but it’s not really the Rob that I “know” and love. Does that make sense? I’ve fallen for adorkable, hairy, shy Rob. Not made-up, clean shaven, brow plucked Robward.

    Don’t get me wrong, Robward is still hot but he ain’t got nuthin’ on the real Mr. Pattinson. (yes, I know it’s poor grammar. Lol!)

    Please don’t hate on me too badly.

    Vogue, Gen, Spunkme, JAG, Sass, Kristin, and many others: You gals crack me up.
    One day, I hope to grow up to be just as funny as y’all. I can dream right?

    • ooomg that so happened to me too! I absolutely prefer Rob and not Edward. I still love me some Edward, but it just doesnt compare to the humble, sweet, dirty Rob.

      • oh thank you! I’m so glad I’m not alone. I almost feel like I’m being disloyal to our leader, His Holy Wetness.

    • How could anyone hate on you at all? I totally get what you mean and it’s the same way for me. When I first saw pictures of Rob after watching the movie I thought “Oh my, he didn’t look this dirty in the film. Great work of the stylists!” But meanwhile I also think Edward is too clean, and Rob can’t be dirty enough…

      • Why not both ways?

        My dirty thoughts are at work.

        But I am so with you on that. LOVE Robward lots, but dirty Rob is so naughty! I like it

        a lot!

        • And by ‘a lot’ you mean ‘more than anything else in the world’, right!?
          😉

          • @junsikat

            Yep.

    • @TRR(P)- It makes complete sense to me! I feel the same. Still think Edward is hot but it is ROB that has captured me! He is afterall, HIS HOLY HOTNESS! Don’t hate u- ❤ you! TRRP you crack me up and I think you have a wicked sense of humor!

      • @TRR: of course we don’t hate you…and actually…I feel the same too… 😉
        Edward is a perfect, incredible, fascinating fictional character. Personally ranks third alongside Mr Rochester and Mr Darcy.
        But definitely too perfect.
        Whilst Rob….down to earth, unkempt, sometimes shy, silly, ironic, dirrrrty, hilarious, talented…is REAL…(well, not to attainable, but again…more attainable than Edward..)

    • @TRR

      I got my DH to watch the commentary version with me. I think Rob grew on him a little. He’s never liked him (jealous) but he thought it was cool that Rob was picking on himself. Baby steps.

      That’s so cool! You and Amber both getting DH to watch! Mine wants nothing to do with it! One minute he supports my habit and the next he’s complaining I spend too much time on Rob and LTR. Today started out rough, but he is good at th

      Interupt for Twilight commercial just came on tv–breath catches! SQUEEEE!!

      Geez you’d think I didn’t have the DVD already! Rob has that affect on me no matter what I guess.

      back to where I was…he is good at the momment.

      Were you asking on an earlier post who lives in Charlotte,NC? Cause thaz me!

      • Yes, I was asking. I’m right down the road in South Cackalackee. We need to do a meet up.

        • Fo Sho!

          I’m in Matthews. You know it?

          What city for you?

          • Yes, of course I know Matthews. My sister lived there for several years. I’m around Greenville, Sc

    • Robzilla. I don’t think we can be besties anymore. You are dead to me. Not liking so Robward. Are u crazy.

      BTW u know I am joking. ;-)’

      • Well, does that mean we can’t go to the KOL concert together now? I can’t be dead and and a concert at the same time.

        • NO SH*T Are KOL coming anywhere near here???!!! I WANT to go!

          • Um, yeah! How about CHARLOTTE! 4/30/09.

          • @TRR

            Do you and CHR have tix already?

            Crap Crap Crap!

        • Alright I guess you can be back to be alive to me. 🙂

    • Poppin in to agree. I f*ckin love DirtyRob!

      Rob as Edward is okay when I need to picture the character in the book, but that’s all. They are totally 2 different people to me.

      In fact, when I look at Edward I sometimes have trouble seeing my DirtyRob.

    • I felt the same way, the more I see of Rob the less Ilike Edward…HA HA…that’s why it is so funny to me when he says, that all the fans like Edward and not him, because he made me fall for him, and NOT Edward!!

  35. @SpunkMe- Hi SM, how are ya today? OK I saw the pic yesterday (black sweater Rob) and I think you may be right- about Rome Rob. I will try to find s/t for you today!

    • Re Rome Rob? That’s my territory…!! Can someone sum it up for me? pleeeeaaaseeee… 🙂

      • @Monica- as far as I can tell there is Rob in Rome during the Rome film festival premiere and black sweater Rob is in Rome (Photocall).

        http://www.robertpattinsonsource.org/gallery/displayimage.php?pid=4290&fullsize=1

        • @Genevieve

          INSTANT ROBGASM!

          Still in afterglow…flushed face!

          AGAIN, please!

        • Haa the Gay Sweater!

          • No GAY!

            Rip it off!

            RAAWWWRRR!!!

    • @Genevieve

      Hey girl! I wasn’t sure, but I thought it was Italy b/c he was wearing that in the interview conspiracy theory video I posted with the stethescope thingy translator. That look is naughty Robalicious! So if you find a real sexy one and blow it up! I’ll bow down to you again today.

      Already loved the ones you posted earlier! HOT!!

      • @SpunkMe re RobGate (aka interview conspiracy theory, Oregano etc..):
        I watched the video again to check the bits in Italian for everyone’s benefit.
        It’s just the interviewer saying “Rob is arriving, Kris is arriving” and that sort of thing, so nothing relevant really… 😦

        • @Monica

          Thanks! Good to know that the Italians don’t know anymore about it than us. I was having a case of Robnoia!

          Now do you read lips as well? Cause I need some back up!

          Has anyone seen ANY pix of Oregano since December?

          • @SpunkMe: no probs dear, but frankly my lip reading skills really suck!
            It all seemed pretty quick to me in the video but the youtube quality wasnt’ spic-and-span…
            Anyway, the lack of picks of Oregano sounds suspicious…

  36. Great post today–freakin hilarious! Not a Twitterer here but I hope anything earth-shaking will be reported on LTR.

    Dear themoonisdown and UC,
    Thank you so much for all the time and effort you put into LTR and LTT. I appreciate you so much! This site is a soft place to fall and has the most fabulous women sharing all this RobLust. Makes me warm all over.

    Love you both.
    EyeC

  37. Dear Rob,

    I will NEVER make the assumption that you are EDWARD. You are so much MORE!

    Love G

    ps Did any one catch that Elvis Duran interview where he called Rob ‘Edward’ about 2 times at the end? What an absolute no-no!

  38. Monica – did you see my “office recap” above? Hopefully it draws you in… you need your internet connection back, STAT!

    • Yep! No connection is very bad for Twiporn sluts like me…:(

  39. More Rome Rob (photocall)-

    http://www.robertpattinsonsource.org/gallery/displayimage.php?pid=4294&fullsize=1

    http://www.robertpattinsonsource.org/gallery/displayimage.php?pid=4507&fullsize=1

    • @ Genevieve

      http://www.robertpattinsonsource.org/gallery/displayimage.php?pid=4294&fullsize=1

      Can you say ROBCROTCH?!

      “Oh, Mr. Pant-inson, I mean Pattinson, your shoelace is in need of some tying.” *gets down on knees* “And oh, while I’m right here, let me just take care of this business in front of me for you as well.” *unzipping*…..ahhhhh.

      • ROBJOB!

        • *klunk* *falls off chair*
          LOL LOL LOL

          • @ Monica

            LMFAO at your response!!!

        • Yes! Love this!!!! ROBJOB!!!!! Can I please deliver the very first ROBJOB? I’ve never wanted to go down on a man so badly.

          • @TRR

            ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

            HOLY F*CK!!!!

            What is this man doing to me??!!!!

            To quote Robward: I have never wanted it so bad in my whole life!!!!!!

            LOL!!!!

        • @ JAG

          ROBJOB

          That’s two

          for Robisms 3

          The list will grow quickly I’m sure!

          • RobJob is on Robisms 2 ;P

      • @Gen: you need to warn people before you post things like these…!!!
        *changes panties*

        and on a separate matter: Rob, what are we doing with SHINY clean DocMartens? Are we sick? Did we get Clare to clean them?

        • @Monica- LOL! ‘did we get Clare to clean them’? Ah, me love some ‘shit kickers’! Haha!
          Me also have to go do s/t here in ‘da house’ but I’m having too much fun!

          • @Gen re Clare: yes, that’s the desperate housewife that sometimes resurfaces…

  40. I have to say the Rome pictures and the Sex Drive premier pictures are my absolute FAVORITE of Him. Well…and the Robscars.

    Gen – I love you so much for all of your pictures.

    HI Everyone else, back from the gym..sweaty and stinky, so off to do a shower and get the munchkin lunch! I’ll be in and out!

  41. Rob news (from you know who)-

    http://www.laineygossip.com/Taylor_Lautner_Kristen_Stewart_and_Robert_Pattinson_run_lines_in_preparation_for_New_Moon_shoot.aspx?CatID=0&CelID=0

    ps @Kristin *smooch* ❤ ya!
    @Carrie thx for posting that interview! You rock!

    • I know that TayTer has really buffed up, but compare his to Alex in the pics. He still looks a little shrimpy. Is this Alex fella just that hunky? I certainly hope so. I need something to get me through New Moon until rob comes back.

    • ps ‘loser twi-hards?’! Lainey you are A rock hard BYOTCH! Just sayin’
      Twilight rules and people who love Twilight even better because at least they have taste which is more than I can say for you (Lainey)! Take that and shove it!

    • @Genevieve

      I think Rob is staying in to read all our posts on LTR!

      I can see him now with his laptop on the bed strokin’ his Robnana as he reads all our dirty thoughts about him!

      Cream of Cullen coming right up!

      • Now now SpunkMe- Don’t want to scare him off with that kinda talk. Gotta approach our ‘Rob’ with ‘Lust/Caution’! Haha! He scares easily! We must be subtle in our admiration! LOL!

    • Tay Tay is so CUTE!! 🙂

    • You are welcome! 🙂

  42. RobJob – what you are going to give Rob when you reach the end of his Happy Trail, rhymes with Go-Bob & yes you’ll be bobbin alot and then comes the Cream of Cullen.

    …and the line starts to the left!

    • @JAG

      Oops my bad!

      I’ll have to keep your list open in next window for reference from now on because i don’t think DH would appreciate me printing them off and taping them to my laptop!

      LOL!

  43. Robert Pattinson was running lines on Sunday too for a few hours. He has however for the most part shut himself in when not working out, apparently hasn’t ventured out much, prefers to be alone, politely declines invitations to go out, either getting into character or perhaps frightened by the loser twi-hards who’ve descended upon Vancouver to hunt him down? Twilight is boosting tourism!

    Ya know he is trolling the internet fan sites.
    *Waves* Hi Rob

    • * Waves* at Rob too!

      Dear Rob,

      You are a Bloody talented good-looking bloke! Just sayin’

      Love G

    • @JAG

      dirty minds think alike

      see my above post…

  44. Are we TwiHards or RobHards?

    • Both!

    • ROBHARDS!! LMAO

      Dear Rob,
      If i was in Vancouver and saw you i would pretend to not know who you were just for your sanity. but just know i would totally be all fangirl on the inside! so keep that in mind! lol!!
      Love T!
      JAG im behind you in line!!

  45. LMAO i love the FAKE twitters! they are hystercial! TOM: Do not drink and twitter! LOL

    JAG– ROBJOB… BAHAHAHAHA! love it!

    • twitter needs a breathalizer… get in that stephanieR

  46. “Have decided to tell Rob that the fans love the beard and he is not allowed to shave, period. That should ensure he shaves it off tomorrow.”

    Oh man…I just died.

  47. this is hilarious. i can’t stop laughing. honestly.
    this is too much for a sick imagination like mine’s.
    uhmmm… and… *hi rob* [waves]

    • thanks A.C.! Rob waves hi back (he’s currently on the bed w/ Moon & I)

      • AH BURN!
        Can we come join!!

  48. Getting back to the crotch picture from the Sam Bradley show in Robcouver…remember in Twilight Rob wore a blue shirt in his bedroom & the tree & during the piano scenes.

    Maybe he took it, along with all the other clothes he took from the movie.

    • Definatley a posibility!

    • JAG it is possible. I will do more research before I making my final ruling. I am the RobCrotch expert after all. 😉 LOL!!!

    • @JAG: knowing him, that’s very likely.
      Wondering why Kstew didnt do the same….she’d still be dressed better… 😉

  49. Here’s a pic of the blue shirt-

    http://www.robertpattinsonsource.org/gallery/displayimage.php?pid=9044&fullsize=1

    • hmm i have never seen such a good looking blue shirt!

  50. @Carrie

    I officially have a fake lesbian crush on you now!

    1st the whole Office fanfic wavelength.

    2nd and part shout out Genevieve for bringin’ it up…but that Elvis Duran interview was soooo…yummy!

    I could seriously listen to him talk all day and never tire of it! I volunteer to snuggle with him after all our “activities”. And I love that he is into us Robcats! Glad to hear someone officially tell him…OUT LOUD….that the Robcats “want to DO him”…..I bet that gave him some very dirty thoughts!


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