Posted by: Bekah | March 13, 2009

Our Itinerary

Urban Cowboy

Urban Cowboy

Dear Rob,

We read your GQ interview interview today and, on average, are 88% certain you have read our site (more to come on that theory later). As a result, we want to extend an offer to you to come stay with us in LA next weekend. Yes, we said US. I (UnintendedChoice) am flying from Philly to LA next Friday night to spend an entire 5 days with Moon. This is quite the miraculous event as it will be only the 2nd time we have seen each other in 6.5 years (We met in 2002 at a semester-away program and said 1 phrase to each other the entire 4 months we lived together- the phrase was “Wanna become real friends in 6 years and start a blog about a boy who is currently 15?”)

It is mere coincidence that we happen to be starting our weekend together the EVENING of the Midnight Release Parties for the Twilight DVD. But we will be taking full advantage of the fact. We’ve been busy planning our itinerary, and if you see any events of interest, remember- this is an open invitation and you are welcome to join!

Here is a quick preview of what we’ll be doing together:

  • Writing extremely smutty fan-fic, cause there’s nothing better than sitting with a close friend and sharing what gets you really hot.
  • Doing our best Nikki Reed & Kristen Stewart “faux lesbians” impressions wearing Doc Martens and skinny jeans, while hand-holding, skipping down Robertson Blvd, sharing a ciggie while the paps “just happen” to be following us
  • Attending a Border’s Midnight Release Party where will WIN all the contests they are holding while elbowing 14 year olds to get our copy of the DVD signed by the #2 gaffer and head plumber from the set
  • Watching the DVD over & over & over again, pausing on all the scenes where you look the hottest while spooning in Moon’s bed (UC’s making her famous popcorn)
  • Dressing UC’s husband and his best friend up like vampires and making them act out our fan fic while we give them direction like “act more vampire-y, MORE EDWARD! Show me UNDEAD!”
  • Acting out the Meadow Scene at Griffith Park (where they ACTUALLY shot part of the scene in the movie! We will find the spot of grass that you touched, Rob, WE WILL!)
  • Writing letters to ourselves ( coming soon to a computer near you)
  • Watching all of your movies on YouTube (we both still havent’ seen The Haunted Airman) & all clips online EVER that mention you
  • Throwing a slumber party with Ashley Green and Rachelle
  • Video chatting with Clare Pattinson and discussing how you need to eat more
  • Plotting world domination one blog at a time!

We know you’re busy getting ready to shoot New Moon, but we wanted to extend an offer for you to visit during the time when we’ll be together. The house will be crowded- UC’s husband will be there and so will his bff, and the boys are taking the couches, but Moon has a big bed and there will be a spot for you in between us, if you’re interested. We do have one little request, if we could. Please be sure that when you come to LA, you’re looking as such:


We will focus on the movie with you looking like this in between us on Moon's bed. We will. We will not be thinking of all the bad things we want to do to you. We Promise.




  1. 30) Go up to really pale people and whisper “Apotampkin”.

    • ROFLOL…THAT’s HIlaRIous!!

    • LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats hilarious!

  2. More HQ- (from Robsessed)

  3. In my sleep deprived stupor, I forgot my phone at home today. Had to call DH to turn it on silent or the email notifications will drive him bat sh*t.

    So I had to walk him through unlocking and silencing the thing, he doesn’t get my Crackberry.

    He says ok, I got it unlocked and your guy is smoking a joint (of course, it’s the GQ one). I said all offended – he’s smoking a ciggie not a joint – baby, please!

  4. I will gladly offer my services as your paparazzo for any of your adventures! Just sayin…

    • oohh… you want to stalk us & rob with your camera??? πŸ™‚

      • I would love to! You guys crack me up! Rob would be icing on the cake after hanging out with you two! hmmm, speaking of icing and Rob…

  5. OMG. You guys are killing me.

    The heiney. The HQ GQ shots. The talks of getting pounded by Rob. The list by Jena.

    I. Am. Died.

    I can’t even breathe I am laughing so hard. If I could hug each of you right now I would, actually I wouldn’t because I am severely germ infested. LOL, but still. I want to hug you all.

    • Hope you feel better soon Kristin! *hugs back*

  6. Is anyone else having trouble opening I can’t get on….it won’t load. Darn it. I need my fanfic fix.

    • @vanessaj – I can’t open it either. I think their site is down 😦

      Okay…I have to start packing. we leave in a few hours. Ugh.

  7. I love Darkward too!! Thanks to whoever recommended that yesterday.

  8. @jena – I have one for the list!!!!

    “play your own trumpet to keep up sexual tension”

    Okay, NOW I am getting off here! LOL !

    • Added! Get better Kristin! Strep throat bites the big one. 😦

  9. @JBell & Carrie- Any luck on finding THE GQ?

    @Jena- if only we could get Keanu and Rob in a movie together (or together WITH US) our lives would then be complete! LOL!
    ps we could make a Robanu split! LOL!

    • Amen! Speaking of, I haven’t been to Keanu sites in days. Must go check in on that boy.

      • Oh, do you have some links for me?

        • I’ve been going there for years.
          New photos in the gallery of him having lunch yesterday. He’s scruffy
          but still yummy.

          • Thx Jena! You’re great! (said that in a Scottish accent)
            You are right- must not be neglecting Keanu. Can’t have that at all. LOL!

    • My girlfriend was friends with Keanu’s sister Karina at a private school here in Toronto.

      • Hey cool!

  10. I’ve started a TwiPorn hall of fame page…please send me link to your favs to and I’ll add them to the list.
    Also, started RobVideo page…send me any links you want added…of course RobCrotch will be first in line and the GQ vid.

    • Yay JAG- just sent you a bus-load of Rob smokin’ shots!


    Dude, does EVERYONE in the movie smoke now? Someone pull Tay-Tay away from these people! He’s so impressionable at 17.

    • I know- I noticed that yesterday! They are ALL smoking! It so passe! (*note to the actors in NM- find a new hobby like LTR – much more fulfilling!)

    • What, is Tay-Tay standing on a box in picture 20?

  12. On an off topic exciting note, a friend of mine won a meet and greet today with Missy Higgins on Monday in Omaha with a private session. She’s taking me!

    • Congrats! (don’t know who she is though)
      *ducks down*

      • Have you heard “Where I Stood”? That gets current airplay here.
        She’s Australian.

        • Don’t think so- I recently switched over to a modern rock station here in Edm. (trying to stay hip) LOL!

    • who’s missy higgins?

      • Singer/songwriter. She’s big in Australia, but have had some hits here.
        “Scar”, “Where I Stood”. Check her out on itunes, you may have heard
        her and just didn’t realize it.

    • You girls are so hip! I always learn new things from you guys! I’ll have to check her out.

  13. hi love this site! been checkin in for awhile and i am quite the technotard so was’nt sure how to get in on the fun. Rob is absolutly the opposite of the rough, redneck guys I hang with, so my little infatuation is a nice distraction on a daily basis! thanx for all the pix and goodies!

    • beer- me.. first off.. LOVE the name…. and there are no instructions for getting in on the fun- just jump on in.. Everyone say hi to Beer-me!
      rob is the opposite of every guy everywhere.. he is perfection

      wow.. i don’t really believe that. i do. no i don’t… eff it.. he’s hot

      • Welcome beer-me!

        • hi beer-me!

        • Hi beer-me! Good word that- ‘technotard’ yup that would be me LOL!
          (Beer-me, sounds like my DH’s name)

          • yea reminds me of a scene in the movie where charlies cleaning the shotgun with a row of beer cans on the table. click-click, “bring him in”

      • thanx! I love beer! if i have 1 I’ll have 13, then you cant get me off the karioke machine (country song) !

  14. Awww, so cute to see Jasper and Alice out and about together

    I’M SUPPOSE TO BE WORKING!!! LOL! I have no discipline whatsoever, it’s a miracle I even got a degree, LOL!

  15. @Ayden, you were looking for some soothing music the other night. Missy Higgins would be excellent for that!

  16. If we’re on the subject of music-
    This would be an excellent addition to the NM soundtrack (I think)-

    ‘Help I’m Alive’ by Metric
    ‘Warning Sign’ by Coldplay

    • oh i LOVE metric! they are my new obsession

      • Never heard of Metric but that’s one of my fave Coldplay songs!

  17. I thought wolfboy wasn’t suppose to have locks in the next film. Or maybe this is “pre-cut”. I seem to remember Jacob cutting his hair in the second one or maybe I was smoking something.

    • No, Jacob does cut his hair … I think they are doing costume and makeup shots or something which is why in some photos he has long hair and in some he has short hair.

    • Hahaha! smokin’ s/t! Now you’ve got me thinking- Did he cut his hair in NM or Eclipse? Have to get back to you on that one!
      It’s one of my favorite Coldplay songs too! Going to see them in June! Yay!
      You should give a listen to that Metric song (it’s so appropriate) for Bella’s character. Just sayin’

      • New Moon

        • You’re so darn smart & talented!

  18. Ok, I’m not sure if my post was lost in cyberspace or what, but this was on SocialiteLife yesterday, which originally got me into twilight:

    And I was just like “WTF? Does everyone in the cast smoke now?” Someone needs to get Tay-Tay away from them… he might pick up the habit being an impressionable 17 year old.

    (No offense to any smokers, of course.)

    Also, sorry if this ends up being on the boards twice.

  19. This is hilarious…Real TwiPorn!

  20. Please make sure the fanfic is both “hardcore” and “extremely well-written.”

    That is all. Well…that…and 329 texts, of course. Thankyouverymuch.

    • @LeighAnne, was that the disclaimer on Because I feel like whenever I read something there, there’s like 128497135893 typos/grammatical errors/spelling mistakes and it drives me UP THE FREAKING WALL. I’m not sure if it’s just me being super anal-retentive or if anyone else notices.

    • we could never write fanfic without your expertise. we’ll make it 330 texts

  21. I am checking in way late here today – I have a few more suggestions for UC & Moon:

    * Have another fake contest so we get a chance to win the fake prize of going to LA to be BFF’s with you both for five days.

    * Go to a garage sale and purchase a dad case.

    * Then go to Target and buy a messenger bag for Rob, stuff it full of pics of yourself, and mail it to Vancouver (along with some gloves for Rob, size XXXXL)

    * Draw moles on yourselves with eyeliner.

    * Tell your husbands to make out ala Dali style.

    • LOL Wendy! Lovin’ it! All of it!

    • My FAV
      **Tell your husbands to make out ala Dali style**

      • Ditto “Tell your husbands to make out ala Dali style” my new fav. Please take pics.

  22. LMAO at the garage sale! These have been added to the list. We’re up to 37 now.

  23. OK, so I’ve been doing some extensive research on this GQ cover and his eyes, Oh his eyes! I use to think they were green, but now I think he’s got those eyes that I wish I had, that change color pertaining to light and what you’re wearing. That suit brings out the gorgeous ice grey in his eyes. I’ve seen photos where they are just the most gorgeous shade of bright green, but here they look greyish with a sparkle. THUD! He’s so perrty I wonder if he glows in the dark?

    • my fave pic of him ever is possibly the gq cover..and yeah, he def glows in the dark

      • My fave is the black and white one where it’s just his face, a bit of the v-neck
        and his hair is reaching for the stars!

    • I was just thinking about that yesterday. I think he does have green eyes. Which makes me insanely giddy, because I TOO, have green eyes. I imagine we’ll be able to make all sorts of green eye magic together.

      • Wendy I have green eyes too light green and they look blue or green depending on what I’m wearing. I like the idea of Green eyed magic!

        • & Green eyed ‘wee ones’! You could ask Rob- Rob will you make ‘our’ green-eyed babies? LOL!

        • Oooo then you and I can get together and go at Rob as a team! He can’t resist us and our green eyes.

        • Lmao
          I like the team idea, I’m open to that!
          You guys can have the RobBabies I’ll just take the RobGasms!

          • I thought they went together (Hand-in-hand) *wink*
            (in Rob’s case- ‘you can’t have one without the other’!)

          • Ha ha that was funny! I’ll have both, please. The RobGasms AND the RobBabies.

    • Oh yes, I agree wholeheartedly! (he’s almost got the ‘David Bowie’ eye thing going on) I commented on the same subject yesterday saying that his eyes change color with his clothes choice (eg. Sex Drive photos-grey shirt-seemingly grey eyes) I bet they do (glow in the dark) DAMN! I just went there! *SIGHS*

      • Okay seriously need to see the sexdrive pics. Stat!

        • My sexual fantasy involves those gold contacts and that brown
          jacket. Yes I love the brown jacket, I just can’t help myself.
          And when he wears a v-neck…OOOhhhh shizzle!

  24. 38) Dress up like braid girl Miss Morris and go interview people at midnight dvd release parties. Whenever you see someone in an Edward t-shirt walk up to it and start fake crying.

    • LMAO Jena! (crying or screaming)

      • Oh man…You girls are killing me, I just scared my daughter I laughed so loud!!

  25. is my gravatar pocket edward in a cup of beer or pocket edward with a bloody mary? i tried to change it but i still see upside down ed..

    • think it’s still the beer one Melissa.

  26. @Ayden- looking for a soothing tune?
    ‘All I Need’ by Air

  27. This just kind of hurts my heart –
    “Items not yet shipped:
    Delivery estimate: Mar 26, 2009 – Mar 30, 2009”

    That’s my TwiDVD from Target. I’m wondering if I should cancel the order and just take a chance at going to the store on Saturday to get it… we’ve got 3 Target stores within 15 miles of each other. I think I’ve got a good chance… yes?

    Also wondering –
    Do I want to order Catherine’s book? I can’t decide…

    • Aren’t these limited editions though? I’d keep your online order.

    • JBell, don’t cancel! That way if you don’t get one at the store you can rely on your one in the mail. I have the same thing. Don’t forget that you can return the one you get in the mail to your local Target!

  28. This is amusing (look at Taylor) LOL!

    • Look at the pipes on him…compared to Rob’s pipe cleaner arms hee hee

      • We don’t need (Rob’s) arms for what we have in mind! Heh heh!

        • Oh yes we do! His hands are attached to them. And do you not want those hands involved in what you (and everyone of us) has in mind?

      • You PattinPerv! I love it!

  29. Alright, I’m off to lunch, have to stop at the store and pick up ingredients for nachos and stop at Hastings to get movies (I’m having movie and nachos night at a friend’s house tonight). I wonder if the GQ is there? Doubt it.

  30. Back from the gym and now my belly hurts even worse from all the crunches and the laughing you ladies are producing. How did you get so funny?

    I posted this back in a reply but will do it again here.

    Since I turned a few of you on to Wide Awake, I thought I would give you the manip picture of what Darkward looks like.

    I’m a little embarassed but I think it’s an excellent story. I hope the author changes the names and tries to get it published. It’s really not Twilight related at all.

  31. @JAG- ‘Sex Drive’ as requested-

    • Damn you, G! I need a new pair of panties… and I’m at work! Crap

      (jk on the “damn you” you know I heart you)


  33. Voila-

    • I never knew where these pic were from…numnumnum!

    • Gen, are you trying to kill me!? These are by far my faves of luscious Robert. Thank you, thank you, thanky, tanx, thanx, spanx, danka shain (sp), gracias…I saved every one of them:)

  34. Ah Gen (F) – you are my favorite dirty little pic hoe. Thank you, thank you!

    • *bitte*

    • or *ho. Which ever you prefer. Loves ya! *Smoochie Boochie’s*

      • TRR(P)- I think a ‘hoe’ is a garden tool! LOL!

        • Well, I guess maybe it’s better to be a hoe than a ho. Unless Rob is involved and then we will all unleash our inner whore!

  35. @Gen: I AM DIED! How am I supposed to get any work done now? I’ll have to make some sickness up and go home early.

    @TRR: Thank you – it was you with the Wide Awake link. The robsessed pic you posted above of Darkward is so damn hot. I love that f*ck is in every sentence he utters. *swoon* She should try to publish it – its nowhere near twilight at all.

    • It’s good isn’t it? It was the first fanfic I ever read. I felt all dirty and stupid for needing to read something else Twilight related. Then I started on that and wow, she set the bar high. Now I can’t read any other fanfic because it’s sooooo stupid. However, I am liking I love L.A. It’s very cute.

      • I couldn’t get into “I Love LA” I think the whole Grace thing weirded me out, but once I’m done with Wide Awake, I think I’ll give it another try. I’ve heard good things about it.

    • @Ceri- New disease ‘Robcitis’- Highly contagious (coughcough) Must go home at once and find a cure (on the computer of course)! LOL!

    • Do you have the link for this ‘Darkward’ story? Please and thanks!! πŸ™‚

  36. This is funny.

    “Although, now that Taylor’s back in that horrifying wig, he’s probably considered too flammable to smoke. “

  37. “…Although, now that Taylor’s back in that horrifying wig, he’s probably considered too flammable to smoke.” LOL!

    Let the “you’re not being a good role-model if you smoke!” articles begin. –

    • This person’s comment cracks me up. She gets up on that soap box really quickly, but down just as fast. ADD anyone?
      ” I hate this photo. These people are not successfully being the role models all of them know they are. I love the way Taylor’s booty looks very tone and muscular. That boy really does work out EVERY PART OF HIS BODY! Even though he looks like a girl here he is doing us all a favor by not giving into peer pressure.”

  38. LMAO @JAG – great minds!

    • I laughed out loud when I read that line about Taylor!

  39. Twins!

    • Or as Lauren (from LaurensBite) says “Twinners!”

  40. Girls- I’m very very sad to report that I must leave you (temporarily). Must do the ‘dreaded’ groceries. Will resume communications in the near future. Cheers.

  41. “…And to say that the photogenic former model looks sexy in the snaps would be an understatement. I’m not fully on the Robert bandwagon, but even I have to admit, daaaaaaaaaamn.”

    Wanna-be/Tryna-be Unicorn/Unicorn in the making!

    Dear Jarret Weiselman,
    You say you’re ‘not FULLY on the Robert bandwagon’ huh? Give it a couple more weeks and you’ll be driving the damn thing, along with 3 million other guys and gals.
    See ya on the crazy train,

    • F*ck you are killin’ me today. DH is going to wonder what the hell I’m doin in my office laughin all the time.

  42. I must admit I don’t really like people who smoke. Don’t get me wrong, with Rob it’s hot, of course…But the rest of the cast, especially the girls!? The article’s not that wrong, they are all supposed to be role models and all these smoking pics…It’s not really cool at all but the Twilight fans may get the wrong impression.

    • I feel you. I agree it’s their life, but it makes all the girls (and even Rob, just TINY TINY BIT) seem more unattractive than attractive.

      Then you couple the smoking with Nikki Reed’s awful wig, and I think I’m going to puke.

  43. NO New GQ. Went to B&N and Walgreen’s. Called Borders.

  44. Btw, don’t no one internet-punch me for saying that Rob is a smidge less attractive with the smoking.

    I still want him. Dont’ get me wrong!

  45. On the smoking bit, I have to say that I’d rather them smoke than take any serious drugs. Sometimes the ciggie is good for just relaxing and I’m sure after some intense scenes the actors can use something to chill. So I’m good with the ciggies, plus I used to social smoke, so it would make me hypocritical to say anything bad about it.

    • Oh, ok, when you think of drugs in stead I’m all cool with the smoking!

    • Except for the occasional 1/4 of a valium πŸ™‚ lol

      • “Occasional” is the keyword πŸ™‚

        • of course.

  46. Just called B&N (lol Carrie, we are SO dedicated to this) and this is the conversation –

    Girl: “Thank you for calling B&N, can I help you?”

    Me: “Umm, hi! I have a question and I’m hoping that you’ll humor me for a second… do you know if you guys got the April GQ yet?”

    *really long pause, I can tell the girl is annoyed. She kind of sighs a sigh that says ‘I can’t believe you called and asked this stupid ass question and now I have to actually go LOOK for this effing thing.’*

    Girl: “Uhhh, do you know who’s on the cover?”

    *At this point I thought she was asking as in, “Oh em gee! Do you know who’s on the cover!?” but she wasn’t*

    Me: *laugh* “Yeahhhh…”

    *long pause, she’s waiting for me to say who it is, because she obviously DOESN’T know*

    Me: “Robert Pattinson.”

    Girl: “Oh, I don’t know who that is… I guess I’ll go check for you. Hold on.”

    *While waiting I’m wishing I could jump through the phone because she just aggravated me with her teenager attitude*

    Girl: “No, we don’t have it. We should get it closer to the end of the month.”

    Me: *being condescending* “Oh, so you’re saying you haven’t gotten the April GQ in with Robert Pattinson on the cover and you should be getting it closer to the end of the month?”

    Girl: “Yes.”

    Me: “Okay! Thanks! I really appreciate the whole 2 minutes of your time it took to go look! And Robert Pattinson is the guy from Twilight, just by the way.”

    …and I hung up. Stupid teeny girl. SERIOUSLY. You work at B&N and you have no idea who Robert Pattinson/Twilight is!? I mean REALLY.

    • I called Books-A-Million a second ago and the guy that answered was really nice. When he couldn’t find it, he came back to the phone to let me know he was getting someone to help him find it, if I didn’t mind waiting. They didn’t have it 😦

    • We rule!!!!! πŸ™‚

      • LMAO JBell! LOL! Don’t you hate that when they act bothered to go look,
        it’s like, uhhhh, isn’t that your job?!

  47. Dammit. I did it again… longest comment eveR. Sorry!

  48. OK, I was afraid of this. I went to Hastings, they didn’t have the GQ, but the cashier didn’t even have to ask me which one I wanted, LOL!
    I asked her if anyone there was in charge of magazines and if so could I speak to them so I could have them call me when a magazine I was looking for came in. And the cashier looked at me with a smerk and said “GQ?” I said “Yep!” and she said “I knew it! Everyone has been calling about that one.” And she told me that they don’t have it in yet but because it’s so high on demand they’re only going to let one mag sold per person. WHAT?!
    I’m glad I bought one on ebay because I’m afraid of not getting my hands on one, they’re gonna sell fast people! But I can’t believe they’re gonna put a restriction on it. I want 2 more. I’m a mag collector so I always buy 2. The one coming from ebay is fine but in the mail you never know how “mint in condition” it’s gonna be.
    I think Rob is breaking GQ history! This is amazing!

  49. cue the violins…
    In Canada, we always get things at least a week later than the US. We won’t see the GQ until sometime next week.

    We’re like the forgotten child of a first marriage.

  50. Haha so I didn’t realize how hot his spread in GQ was going to be. Now I’m going to stalk the Barnes & Noble near my house, too. They already know me there so perhaps they’ll be nice to me too!

    @JAG At least you actually HAVE rob in canada!

    • Yeah the otherside of Canada waaaaaaah.

      Oh another gone but not forgotten AssCandy shot.


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