Posted by: Bekah | January 16, 2009

The (disturbing) dirt

Dear Rob,
I woke up this morning all excited to see what the news and blogosphere had to tell me today about you. Would we get a Rob sighting today!? Or maybe at least some more outtake photos from the Twilight promo days (preferable sans KStew) Well, there was some new news.. but I’ll be honest… I’m not sure I like any of it…

  • For 3 seconds I believed this and my heart was heavy (aka I almost killed myself) until I realized I’m just an idiot and should look at the name of the sites I enter. 
  • Rob, I have no words. I mean, if you really wanted to take a bath, couldn’t you have just come over and let me help you, instead of letting that dude help?
  • People have a lot of time on their hands to keep photoshoppping your head on ugly modeling photos. Stop it people!
  • So, this isn’t disturbing at all but I had to end on a high note. I got so gooey inside when you looked at Kristen at the end of this vid and all I could think was: I could never be an actress, at least not around you, I literally would, well, jizz in my pants when you looked at me…


Happy Friday! Loves xo


  1. I have never wanted to be a washcloth more in my life.

  2. Oh No! .I am speechless.. I am gonna kill myself T-T

  3. Ooops! i did not look at the name of the site 😀

  4. I don’t think that was a dude in the bath photos, it’s his nurse in Haunted Airman! But I’m sure I’m not telling you anything you didn’t already know. He still should have let YOU help instead of her 🙂

  5. Ok so I ended up here based on a comment someplace else. I love this!! Prehaps our husbands could run a support group for all the sad little men wondering why we moan Edward in our sleep 🙂 I believe that it is totally healthy to obsess, I mean love, a man I have never met. It worked for all the stupid Disney princesses right? I’m for equality even if I dislike cinderella.
    Great wit ladies, I will return daily for a laugh and a smile………

    • @Natasha WELCOME and I think a support group for our husbands/boyfriends would be PERFECT b/c if my husband doesn’t get in one pronto… I fear I may not have a husband for much longer.. although, that would solve my “how do i maintain a marriage with Mr. D and relationship with Rob without breaking my vows” conundrum

  6. Indeed, that is his nurse in The Haunted Airman, making sure he cleans behind his ears. She also gives him a couple of rubdowns while completely maintaining her composure. Deep down I’m certain she was squeeeeeeeeeing.

    p.s. Have y’all seen HA? One word: Horns.

    • @Leigh Anne- you are like a book of Rob-knowledge. I hadn’t even heard of the movie until i saw this pic this am. i think i just might have to check it out… um, like REAL rubdowns!?

  7. Oh my this is too funny. I about choked on the jiz in my pants comment.

    • @Deconstructing Jen ha! jiz in my pants… choke… 🙂

  8. I highly recommend the Haunted Airman…especially if you want a close up of Rob’s feet. The nurse washes them in that bathtub scene and tells him “Musn’t forget in between the toesies.” lol

    • @Sass okay– must watch asap! and, i know.. Dayum is right:)

  9. @UC
    Totally with you on that “look” he gives ole what’s her name. Dayum.

  10. Okay, I just spent the last two hours reading this blog, from the start to this post, clicking all the links and watching all the videos like some uber stalker. And I’m at WORK, haha! (had to shut my office door so I could love on Rob uninterupted) You are hilarious! I love this. I’m adding you to my blogroll. Don’t stop!

    • @Wendy THANKS for reading from start-to-finish b/c some of the funniest entries are all the way at the beginning! Don’t get fired over us!

  11. Wendy — I am a paralegal. This means I am supposed to “bill my hours” (i.e., show what I’ve been doing all day). I am not quite sure how I haven’t been fired since I’ve been Pattinized. Now with this blog, I might just go live in a cardboard box that has wireless internet.

    I know Rob had some cardboard boxes recently… maybe he can help me move.

  12. Once again UIC and MIS I think this is awesome! I’ve been following you for a while but I don’t comment often. I’m a bit shy.

    I’ve been trying to rent Haunted Airmen but I don’t think have it at Blockbuster:(

    I was eating breakfast when I read the news article I almost brought it up and then I realized it was a spoof. That was not funny….

    Rob’s smile lights up my world, thanks for the vid:)

    • @Rhonika sorry to upset your breakfast.. but i’m glad you’re our friend. I’ll let you know if and when I find Haunted Airmen!

  13. @Rhonika, I am not sure it is available on video here in the States…you need to watch it on youtube, they have it up in several parts…well worth your time!

  14. @Rhonika and UIC… I was going to advise the same thing… I watched Haunted Airman on YouTube… very, very good!!! It shows off Rob’s acting talent in a whole other light. He is absolutely AMAZING in it.. but again, when is he not?!

  15. I believe this might be the movie in its entirety:

  16. You Tube!!! Yes! I think the Spunk Ransom Website has it in their video gallery as well. Must see Haunted Airman.

    @Laura way at the top, I wouldn’t mind being that washcloth or one of those many cigarettes he su…smokes!

  17. Your blog is hilarious!

    Yep, Haunted Airman is on YouTube in 8 parts. I recommend watching it from Totally Vamptastic. Probably the best quality.

  18. @EVERYONE!!! – god being on the west coast im already behind in all the comments and dirt posts!! dang it. but a big welcome to newbie commenters!

    and now apparently i need to get on this haunted airman thing.

    those washcloth pictures are not right! don’t do that to me when i just get to work! that’s gonna make the day that much longer!

  19. Thanks Laura!!!

  20. I cannot even TELL YOU how much I love your site! And the fact that you referenced “Jizz in my Pants.” Have you heard about Over there, we’re doing Twillight-related crafts and we might be as insane about Rob as you are…

    Seriously — FANTASTIC site — I can’t wait to see your next entries!

    • @Julie- Stars Fall I was just on twilight tuesday today! i looks awesome! Thanks for visiting us!!

  21. @themoonisdown – i know what you mean.. kinda.. i dont check the site for like.. what, 10 minutes, and there are already a ton of new comments! hard to keep up!

    and the movie is so good, you’ll love it.. just brace yourself when it comes to his nurse rubbing her hands all over that wonderful back.. and of course the bath…

    and then theres the whole fact with his aunt grabbing him in his special place! EEK! i guess i’ll let you watch now and stop giving stuff away! ugh! 🙂

  22. @julie- so does this mean the scrapbook page i made about rob should be shown to the public (besides UC) now?! AHAH

    thanks for commenting and welcome!

  23. @sam- you know the part where the nurse rubs her thumbs ever so gently across his scar? Screw the thumbs, I just want to press my lips against it.

  24. themoonisdown and unintended choice — Thank you so much for the welcome! But it is I who should be thanking you — I LOVE THIS BLOG! Seriously — the mix of Rob-obsession and humor makes this place AWESOME! And, yes, we WOULD like to see that scrapbook page, themoonisdown. (Wink.)

  25. Yikes! I’ll read this when I get home from work. Now I can’t read LTR at work or before bed.

  26. @sass and sam OMG you guys are killing me with the descriptions alone… im off to check netflix and see if i can enjoy off the computer.

    @julie – ill have to see about how to submit it… im ALL about the crafts and the arts and the rob/twilight

  27. @sass… oh god, i know what you mean.. it like.. makes my mouth water!
    also, the part where hes making out with his aunt… cant you just see yourself in her position… only there is so much more i would do to him!

    @themoonisdown – i hope your able to find and enjoy! and then soon you will be making these dreamy descriptions with us! 🙂

  28. @sam…I am sure it comes as no shock that I have frequently pictured myself in that (and many other) position(s). 🙂

    @moon…yes, you will enjoy…once again, Rob looks so young and clean shaven and innocent. And did I mention young?

    *going to hell*

  29. Or if you want to skip Haunted Airman (which is worth viewing I think) and go straight to the bath scene…

  30. I agree, I couldn’t be an actress near him at all.
    I loved Haunted Airman. Also Bad Mothers Handbook. Well, I just love Rob!

  31. @sass… and im sure it also comes to no shock to you that i have probably imagined myself in those same positions as you plus more! 🙂 hahaha.
    ugh.. cant think about that now!!!

    @everyone.. valerie is right, if you havent seen Bad Mothers Handbook, definitely check it out! Rob is the HOTTEST NERD everrrrr!!!!

    @valerie.. we ALL LOVE ROB! 🙂 you are not alone!

  32. @Valerie…agreed…Bad Mother’s Handbook is a very good movie, I thought it was a very cute story.

    @ sam…Rob is indeed the hottest nerd ever!! I loved his long scarf and his skinny jeans!

  33. @sass.. omg i know! and his humungous glasses!! YUMMY! he definitely knows how to pull off ANYTHING!

  34. @ Sass (hope I’m doing this right!)….loved Haunted Airman, but regarding Bad Mother’s Handbook: why couldn’t nerds have been that hot when I was in high school? Or now, even?

  35. @Devilish…I know!!! The nerds in my high school, you know, many, many years ago (cries), were just, um, nerds!

    And no matter what role Rob plays, no matter how geekily or dorkily(are those words?) you dress him, questionable hair styles and all, his natural hawtness just burns through, poor guy, he just can’t help it.

  36. Sass – I totally agree. I think it’s his jawline. No amount of bad dressing or bad hair would ever hide that unbelievable jawline of his.

    themoonisdown – come over to when you have some time, and please feel free get in touch if you do need any help in navigating around!

  37. Oh Julie, gawd, the jawline, yes, he has THE best jawline I have ever seen.

    Exhibit 1:

  38. Exhibit 2:

  39. Exhibit 3:

  40. @Sass…Okay, okay I believe you. Now stop torturing me. I am going to have to go try and pay attention to my husband at some point tonight, poor guy doesn’t stand a chance even when Rob is sporting the mullet!!

  41. Exhibit 4:

    Well, this has nothing to do with his jawline, but I kind of liked the thought of being pulled into a dark castle hallway crevice by Rob:

  42. Oh what the hell, one more, because I really like the above mentioned fantasy:

  43. @vickybonnett…Mullet Rob frequently trumps my RL hubby.

  44. Okay, I clearly have no life. You want jawline? And nerd? Check this out:

  45. I think Sass is trying to send us all into a mass, epic swoon.

    Thanks for posting!

  46. @devilish… i think your right! my heart just went into overdrive…i think i might pass out! really sass… how many pictures is that now that youve posted that i want to kill you for posting?! hahaa.
    not good… mmmmmm

  47. Okay Sass, I bow at your feet…you have given us unconditional and irrevocable proof that there are “sexy nerds”. Now all togther….*swoon*

  48. @Sass – thank you. And yes, it’s the jaw line.

  49. I saw the Ring of Nibelung but those scenes look unfamiliar. Were the cut from the movie???

  50. Rhonika, I don’t think so, I watched it last month when they showed it on the SciFi channel…I definitely remember those scenes!

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