made by the brillant vickyb! (click to enlarge!)
Dear Police Dept. South Barnes, London,
Have you seen this man? Tallish, brownish hair recently cut short, killer laugh, probably wearing the same clothes as this picture. Perhaps wondering the streets of London calling my name, lost. He goes by the name of Robert Pattinson. I suppose he’s what you’d call a movie star and some of us are quite worried about him.
You see kind sirs, he hasn’t been seen since December 22nd when he flew to your fair country and has been rumored to be anywhere from Australia to right back here in the USA. However, none of us (and there are quite a lot of us) have seen him anywhere.
I’m not sure about protocol for these sorts of situations but we beg of you to begin a search, a nation-wide manhunt if you will, to find him. Being the concerned citizens we are we’ve gone ahead and partnered with Milk producers everywhere to create these new cartons, we’ve posted missing signs, deployed our Rob-militia to various spots around the world to hunt him down and of course we’ve left the window open for him in case he happens to find his way home. But whatever you can do to help us is much appreciated.
Sincerely
Themoonisdown and Unintendedchoice
and
concerned citizens everywhere!
PS until this day arrives we’ve created a counter so that we may remain vigilant and NEVER FORGET!
janky counter
(as you can tell the clock is currently not moving because for some reason I can’t get it to embed correctly in wordpress. LAME. if you are a smarty/wordpress whizz and can help us, please email! we will all be forever indebted to you and your kind services)
Letters to Rob 
OMG!
i do hope they find him soon!!! my heart is broken in half because we have not seen or heard from him in so long!!
My darling Rob, please come home, or at least make your presence known… SOON!!!
btw- im at work, and i could not stop gimping when i read this.. tears coming from eyes (of sadness, of course) and im pretty sure my lovely co-workers are a little worried about me! and they should be… our rob hasnt been found!
By: sam on January 16, 2009
at 9:11 pm
I am beginning to think that “Rob” is a figment of my imagination, someone who just came to me in a dream.
Why does that sound familiar?
By: Sass on January 16, 2009
at 9:20 pm
@UIC and Moon: You say brilliant, my husband says psychotic. What the hell does he know anyways. We must find Rob!
By: vickybonnett on January 16, 2009
at 9:22 pm
Oh trust me, hunnie, I’m all with ya on that one!
I wonder if your the girl i was beating off of him the other night?!! lol..
By: sam on January 16, 2009
at 9:22 pm
Oh I do hope he’s spotted soon! I need a fresh Rob fix. How dare he hide away from us? Maybe he is keeping away from the public’s eye because he hates his new hair cut? Hm.
BTW, my husband is out of town tonight. I’m taking the laptop to bed with me and I’m going to watch that “Airman” movie. Or maybe just the bath scene. Or maybe just a bunch of YouTube videos of Rob. Or maybe just listen to Never Think over and over. tee hee
By: Wendy on January 16, 2009
at 9:23 pm
@wendy – i suggest all of the above!!
PLUS The Bad Mothers Handbook! 🙂
By: sam on January 16, 2009
at 9:25 pm
Where can I find that? I need a link!
By: Wendy on January 16, 2009
at 9:26 pm
Its on YouTube! Just type in The Bad Mothers Handbook.. it’ll come up!
By: sam on January 16, 2009
at 9:27 pm
@Wendy…all of the above, lol.
By: Sass on January 16, 2009
at 9:27 pm
@sam, lol, we are sharing a brain tonight!
By: Sass on January 16, 2009
at 9:28 pm
@sass .. i know, its great! maybe we’re both on the FM frequency???
Ha.. totally just threw some Twilight in there… WOW.
By: sam on January 16, 2009
at 9:30 pm
@sam and @sass Thanks for the info! I think I’m going to go to bed early tonight so I have time to watch it all! 🙂
By: Wendy on January 16, 2009
at 9:33 pm
@wendy GOOD IDEA! you’ll be happy you did! 🙂
oh, and your welcome!
By: sam on January 16, 2009
at 9:37 pm
@sam…now if only we could use our shared frequency to tune into where Rob is, problem solved.
By: Sass on January 16, 2009
at 9:40 pm
Have fun Wendy, heh… 😉
By: Sass on January 16, 2009
at 9:40 pm
@sass.. ugh no shit! he must be on AM! damnit..
we’ll work on it! 🙂
By: sam on January 16, 2009
at 9:49 pm
Did you *actually* make that counter? Because I totally want to swipe it and put it on my blog. (With proper credit to you, of course.) And, also, you are the mostest hilarious and brighten my every day. (Short of RP showing up at my doorstep.) (Since there’s nothing about me that could hold RP.) Plus, I’m married and have kids. Damn reality all to hell! ::: sigh :::
By: Leigh on January 16, 2009
at 10:02 pm
Well that’s terrible! But I think the milk carton campaign is brilliant and will definitely be the trick for finding him.
By: JourneytoFamily on January 16, 2009
at 10:24 pm
Love the milk carton, and I too need a fresh dose of Rob. I’d like to see if his hair has started growing out.
By: Valerie on January 16, 2009
at 11:20 pm
OKAY… so completely and totally off topic…
but have any of the rest of you seen the interview where kristen says that Rob got her a guitar for her birthday!?!! A GUITAR?! really?!
god damn… how bad i wish i was in her shoes… its not even fair…. she totally had a chance with him and then she BLEW IT for that loser Michael Ang-a-whatever-his last name is!
UGH!
By: sam on January 17, 2009
at 1:47 am
this is crazy! you people are crazy! haha
leave the poor man alone. everyone knows that he’s definitely not IN LOVE with the paps and being famous.
he’s probably just having a break with his family in london. a break from all of this!
By: sierra on January 17, 2009
at 2:16 am
You haven’t even seen crazies(the ones who can’t type even if their lives depended on it and think Edward is ‘fur realz’).
By: roslynselene on August 28, 2010
at 8:57 pm
Wish I could help! I use the self-hosted version of WP, I could try seeing if I can get it to work on my site….not sure if I could fix it or not, but if no one else steps up, I’ll try to see what I can do.
By: Devilish Southern Belle on January 17, 2009
at 2:45 am
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
I don’t think we need to worry though. I can really relate to Rob’s anxiety. I hate crowds. I hate being pawed at. And if I were him I’d be staying home, with friends and family, as long as humanly possible before starting the rigors of another shoot and then another round of publicity.
By: christapie on January 17, 2009
at 3:44 am
I think we need to split up into groups (mobs). This has to be a coordinated effort (female frenzy) and we must remain viligant (obsessed)!! This will not be easy (illegal) and some of us may die (of heartbreak).
We. Must. Find. Rob. (can’t… breathe…).
By: Laura on January 17, 2009
at 9:08 am
Were this missing person ad on a case of Heineken he’d be discovered in no time. He’d then drink the Heiney with whomever found him, ’cause that’s just the way Rob is.
By: Leigh Anne on January 17, 2009
at 9:33 am
@EVERYONE: I still love you all, I promise. I’m away for a ‘wedding weekend!” I’m the MOH in my cousin’s weddingand I just got an interenet connection working quickly before my appt. at the salon- I think I had 10 new letters in our e-mail account plus SO MANY new comments and commenters- you guys are amazing! and remind me never to go away again:) Mr. D isn’t gonna like the hours I have to put it tomorrow when we get home to catch up! Seriously.. if Rob is found this weekend, while I’m gone…well, sorry to my favorite cousin – i’m leaving the reception 🙂
By: unintendedchoice on January 17, 2009
at 10:23 am
Moon- love the counter (ps there’s an email in the account with someone willing to help!)
@sierra we’re, um, kidding… that isn’t REALLY a letter to the police dept south barnes, london
ROB COME BACK TO THE US (preferably the hotel dupont, wilmington DE) ASAP (but not from teh hours of 10-2 on 1/17 b/c Obama and Biden are here and they’ve shut down I-95) xo
By: unintendedchoice on January 17, 2009
at 10:28 am
Oh how you amuse me! Nothing like waking up at 10, having a hot cup of tea and reading (and fully getting) the fear in your heart for our missing soul.
We really need an in, someone who has no restraining orders in place and who is medicated enough to maintain a relatively calm sane posture. This person would be such an asset to the LTR. Maybe we could post an ad on workopolis or hire a headhunter to fill the role? I would offer to help but no amount of meds are gonna keep me from wrapping myself around his legs while sobbing in joy. This would clearly be bad for my marriage and I can’t afford the therapy my 3 kids would need from all this.
I do love you guys!!! Its like we share one soul 🙂
By: Natasha on January 17, 2009
at 11:08 am
@Laura…your plan of attack is brilliant! Let me know if you need me to command any divisions, it would be both a pleasure and an honor!
By: Sass on January 17, 2009
at 11:37 am
@Leigh Anne, I think you’re on to something there!
@ Laura, I like the way you think, I’d totally be willing to take one for the group *and by one I mean Rob*
So, to up our efforts I have made a new poster
By: vickybonnett on January 17, 2009
at 1:12 pm
That’s awesome, Vicky! We’ll either find Rob or get drunk trying! Love it!
By: Laura on January 17, 2009
at 1:56 pm
LMAO. You guys are hilarious. Love the site.
By: NatalieCastle on January 17, 2009
at 2:26 pm
I have a new recruit — My 6 1/2 year old daughter just saw your banner and said “Mama he’s a cute boy!” She makes me SO proud!!!
By: Laura on January 17, 2009
at 2:51 pm
@ leigh – you are totally free to take it… it’s the crappiest thing ive ever made but the only semi decent counter builder thingy i could find and now off to see if we can get it embedded on WP.
wheeeee.
By: themoonisdown on January 17, 2009
at 2:52 pm
Atta girl Laura…you have to train them young!
My almost 8 year old daughter saw the banner last night and asked if I was really writing a letter to Rob, lol. I told her “no”, I didn’t want her reporting to all of her friends that “My mom writes letters to Edward from Twilight”…
By: Sass on January 17, 2009
at 2:56 pm
@vickybonnett & everyone else (hi, everyone else!)–I’m for certain that beer is the key to luring him out. If we throw in a carton of smokes then the deal is all but done.
Then we commence with hooking him up with Moon. Good times.
By: Leigh Anne on January 17, 2009
at 3:38 pm
@Leigh Anne…when you say “we commence with hooking him up with Moon.”, you do mean after we have had our way with him, right?
By: Sass on January 17, 2009
at 3:41 pm
@leigh anne/vickyb/sass-
on my way to coscto buy case (or flat) of beer and carton of ciggies for this test. i will then drive it to weho/sunset/hollywood wherever god awful places he’s been taken to here in LA and toss it in the middle of the street. i believe i’ll have about 4 seconds from the time the case hits the ground until i catch him in my net and throw him in the car and bring him back so we can all ravage him.
sound like a plan?
better than bashing my head against a wall over this counter nonsense. WORDPRESS!!! stop sucking and allow some embed code.
By: themoonisdown on January 17, 2009
at 4:20 pm
@moon…works for me!
By: Sass on January 17, 2009
at 4:40 pm
@moon…he’s not the only person who would be lured by such a ‘catch’! What do you plan on doing with the wrong ones?
By: Devilish Southern Belle on January 17, 2009
at 5:34 pm
@moon…good plan! But in case that doesn’t work we can contact this national franchise:
What??? They don’t have these in London??? Crap!
By: vickybonnett on January 17, 2009
at 5:55 pm
i am loving the plan.. but if we HAVE to hook him up with Moon (sorryy, but i am single too! hahaha).. then i definitely agree that we all should get our way with him first! 🙂
By: sam on January 17, 2009
at 7:31 pm
Question: What if Summit kidnapped him?
Do the math … we have not seen hot sexy hide or hair from him since just days after cutting his hair. It is possible that he is being kept against his will somewhere being injected with near-lethal doses of Rogaine and Vitamin A in a hair-brained scheme to regrow his hair.
By: Laura on January 17, 2009
at 7:31 pm
@Laura OMG… you’re right! i love that!
By: unintendedchoice on January 18, 2009
at 1:11 pm
Oh no Laura! Too much Rogain will certainly stunt his sperm count and deprive the world of having little rpattz running around for future generations to adore. We MUST do something now!
By: vickybonnett on January 17, 2009
at 7:38 pm
@ Devlish,
I know what to do with all the “EXTRAS” we hold on to them, and use them as ballistics—we can throw them at the inevitable hordes of screaming fangirlies that will swarm our “compound” when they finally figure out where we are Hiding *Holding* and loving *ravaging* Rob!
We can also use*sacrifice* any who resemble Rob, as decoys to lure away the less brighter ones!
What do you think? Sound like a plan?
By: Mrs. P. on January 17, 2009
at 9:16 pm
@Mrs. P….that DOES sound like a plan! Why didn’t I think of something similar myself!
Speaking of resemblance (and a bit OT), didn’t Rob once say his stunt double in Twilight looked just like him? I want to see what that guy looks like now!
By: Devilish Southern Belle on January 17, 2009
at 9:21 pm
@devilish….ME TOO LADY!! (although he can’t possibly be the same talented yet self-deprecatingly charming man rob is, at least I could look at him and PRETEND!! ( I know…I’m a horrible person and headed to :
:
:
V
By: Mrs. P. on January 17, 2009
at 9:57 pm
wow, my parentheses were all wrong in that post..oh well!!
By: Mrs. P. on January 17, 2009
at 9:58 pm
@Mrs. P. …I was just curious, because I’ve never seen anyone that looks like him!
By: Devilish Southern Belle on January 17, 2009
at 10:02 pm
“just curious”….you’re way nicer than me…wow!!…way nicer than me 😉
By: Mrs. P. on January 17, 2009
at 10:14 pm
@Mrs. P. ….how so?
By: Devilish Southern Belle on January 17, 2009
at 10:21 pm