Dear Police Dept. South Barnes, London,
Have you seen this man? Tallish, brownish hair recently cut short, killer laugh, probably wearing the same clothes as this picture. Perhaps wondering the streets of London calling my name, lost. He goes by the name of Robert Pattinson. I suppose he’s what you’d call a movie star and some of us are quite worried about him.
You see kind sirs, he hasn’t been seen since December 22nd when he flew to your fair country and has been rumored to be anywhere from Australia to right back here in the USA. However, none of us (and there are quite a lot of us) have seen him anywhere.
I’m not sure about protocol for these sorts of situations but we beg of you to begin a search, a nation-wide manhunt if you will, to find him. Being the concerned citizens we are we’ve gone ahead and partnered with Milk producers everywhere to create these new cartons, we’ve posted missing signs, deployed our Rob-militia to various spots around the world to hunt him down and of course we’ve left the window open for him in case he happens to find his way home. But whatever you can do to help us is much appreciated.
Themoonisdown and Unintendedchoice
concerned citizens everywhere!
PS until this day arrives we’ve created a counter so that we may remain vigilant and NEVER FORGET!
(as you can tell the clock is currently not moving because for some reason I can’t get it to embed correctly in wordpress. LAME. if you are a smarty/wordpress whizz and can help us, please email! we will all be forever indebted to you and your kind services)