Here are a few of my New Year 2009 “Rob”-Solutions:
- I promise to visit *stalk* you in L.A. more often. It’s only a short drive from Chulajuana… and sitting in a car for 3 ½ hours is not too much to ask of someone you love. I know how much you want to see me, and I promise to make more of an “Effort”. Plus, then you won’t have to waste time with girls like Katy Perry, Camilla Belle, and Nikki Reed. I know you don’t really like them,(helping Nikki move was such a nice thing to do…considering…) but I know how much you prefer my company, so I’ll indulge you. Plus, my cousin lives right up the street from you (ok. not right up the street, it’s like at least 10, or 20 miles away, but close enough that I can use her as my cover. I can’t let my husband find out about us. He wouldn’t understand) (Read more of Mrs. P’s hilarious 2009 Rob-solutions after the cut or the jump or whatever the hell you’d like to call it!)
- I promise to find the nearest In & Out, Burger King, Carl’s JR., Mcdonald’s, Wendy’s, etc to you, so I can have you favorite food on hand at all times cuz I’m an ENABLER!
- PS. I’m not here to judge you, but…. You know eating that much fast food can make you fat…You don’t want to spend months in the gym again like last year! Remember those ABs you were lamenting?? And what if you don’t fit into your Edward Coat Anymore? TRAGEDY!! “The Studio” is going to really get on your case about that, so I will make sure to get you what you want….and maybe, your “Rob-solution” should be to eat less Crappy Fast Food…just a suggestion.
PPS…I’m a really good cook,( just ask my husband..that’s part of the reason he married me..yes I am married…didn’t I mention that? Keep it on the DL. oh yeah you’re British that means- Down Low = It’s a S.E.C.R.E.T)
Anyway…I’ll make you something good and healthy if you like…hmmm…this should be a Robsolution of its own…
- I promise to cook you some really tasty, figure & health conscious meals! There!!…..No.Really. call me!!
- I promise to visit (stalk) the set in March this year. I know this is a sore subject, because last year I had no idea you were even making a movie, let alone what it was all about…BLAH, BLAH, BLAH…but I promise to try harder this year and will definitely make at least 1(0) attempt (s) to come and see you hard at work. I know how you missed me last year, and I don’t want to disappoint you again.(MAN, that means I’m gonna have to buy a coat…so much for my Edward Fleece blanket, wait, maybe I can use that instead of a coat…hmmm…I’ll also have to find good childcare for my toddler, it’s too bad that you can’t just leave kids in the backseat of your car anymore, *Damn C.P.S.*cuz that could have worked out nicely for me)