Posted by: UC | May 12, 2010

Do’s & Don’ts around Rob Pattinson Take 2

Long long ago we informed you all about the Do’s and Don’ts when meeting Rob Pattinson. Today we hand over the reigns to Sparklepants to update the list so that none of YOU end up the butt of a joke as many who have come before us all…

Dear Rob’s Fans,

Yes, I’m talking to you. Not sure if you’re really a “fan”? If you’re here reading this, you my friend, are a fan. But this is really more of a public service announcement than a letter. Actually it’s a plea. (Well, not the fans of LTR cause we’re normal). Well Rob is also normal. A normal, freakishly handsome, adorkably funny, smart, talented guy who could serenade you as you fall asleep. But for argument’s sake, let’s just say normal.

Over the past year I’ve seen a lot of disturbing images floating around the interwebs of the crazy that ensues when people are in the presence of HHH. And I thought it’s time someone offered some much needed advice to the clueless.

So I’ve compiled this handy dandy list of Do’s and Don’ts should you have the pleasure (hehehe…she said pleaseure) of meeting Edwa…er, I mean Rob.

Don’ts

Do not, I repeat, do not attack Rob.
I know it sounds obvious. But it frightens Rob. If you’re not sure what constitutes attacking, please review Exhibits A – C below.

Exhibit A: A bodyguard has to physically pry Rob loose from your kung-fu deathgrip.

Exhibit B: People are pointing and laughing at you.


Exhibit C: Rob looks like this. If he does, you should take your knitted beret and your Nikon Coolpix a few feet back cause you is crazy.

Don’t ask him to sign your Team Jacob schwag.
Actually, “do“, cause Rob has openly admitted he’s Team Jacob. Go wolves!


Don’t get down on your knees. (Editor’s Note: At least not in public.)
Otherwise you’re gonna be caught by the paps looking like Rob just found you on the corner of Hollywood and Vine. Doesn’t matter if you dropped your lucky penny or Rob’s Samba’s are untied (which they usually are). Keep your knees off the pavement. Capish?

Don’t ask Rob to sign your NC17 FanFic about Rob as a homeless man who is rescued by Bella, a young shoe saleswoman.

Don’t forget to spellcheck your fanart.
Rob’s smart. He reads books with authors names I can’t pronounce. Give the dude some credit and ask your tutor or remedial English teacher to proofread your work. Seriesly.

Don’t harsh Rob’s buzz.
If you’re out getting shit-housed, playing hour of power at your local pub and you see Rob chillaxing in the corner with a Heiny, be civil. No need to hook ‘em horns or whatever hand gesture signifies that you are intoxicated.

Don’t wear this outfit.
Like ever. Even if you are his agent a big fan.

Don’t worship wax Rob.
It’s totally cool if you have friends from out of town and you head on over to Madame T’s for some shits n’ giggles, but please, please don’t bring fan schwag. Maybe if actually resembled Rob and not a cross between Stephen Moyer and Luke Perry. But no.

Bu-bu-buuutttt what CAN I do? Good question.. find out after the jump!

Do’s

Do meet Rob by a dumpster.
He feels very comfortable here.


Do wear your Adidas Samba’s.
Sure I haven’t seen them on anyone else since Billy Crisafulli asked me to the winter formal, but I can see the appeal. Rob’s not really a fashion monger so he’ll appreciate your fashion sense.

Do let Rob check out your rack. (Jessica Stanley style baby, I know right?).
Let Rob get a little sneakadoodledoo (lord knows KStew ain’t got much to show).

Do wear plaid.


Do leave love notes (or post-its, scribbled on gum wrappers)
Especially on his car door handle proclaiming your love. Just be sure to leave a way for him to get in touch with you cause he’s totes gonna call (especially if you’re Taylor’s number one fan).

I can think of a coupla more of Do’s for Rob, but I’ll save that for the Cinemax version. If I can help save at least one person from being forcefully removed by security, or worse being posted on LTR, then my work here is done.

Yours in Sane Stalking,
Sparklepants

HAHA! Saving the fans from public humiliation on LTR- I like that. Speaking of people we’ve made fun of on LTR, I MISS PATTINSON PANTS LADY!!!

Happy Birthday to a very special LTR gal:  Southernbelle today!!! May you always be just 1 day older than Rob xoxo

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Responses

  1. I do go down my knees in front of Rob and expect him to go all MOTU behind the dumster on me (ehm)

    • “Keep your knees off the pavement. Capish?” sparklepants said

      we might an ecception! :-)

      • add just…”do”…and “there”……hahah

    • Comment no. 1 to the blog post FTW!!! :D

      I’d happily break every one of the cardinal rules above (oh my lord I nearly pissed my pants at the picture of Rob none-to-subtley looking down at that chick’s assets!) if Rob would go all MOTU on my ass…or anywhere else for that matter.

      Husband, what husband?! Free card all the way baby :)

      • :D :D :D

        • Mel – :)

          • JULES……… :D love you!!!

      • HI !!!! :-)

        • Love u too

  2. I love the misspelled sign – they have tried to squeeze an E in ha ha

    • At what point would you just scratch the first poster, and start all over again. Maybe I am just a spelling/grammar/neatness snob. Especially, if you are front and center to meet Rob.

    • I’d like to squeeze some E in … what?

      • your avi sets me on fire…. :)

        • I “thumbs up” allryans every time just for the avi.

          • *smirk*

  3. The girl in exhibit B looks like she’s trying to steal him.
    How selfish. Has she no shame?

    God, some of these remind me why I don’t like the Twihard label, and why even if saw him in RL I would probably stay far away.
    These people are batshit crazy. I’m normal.

    • right, I just wondered if these crazies afterwards had to change life, city and identity….lol

      • It’s doubtful.

        They seem like the kind of crazy that would go away from an encounter like that and be all, OMG you guys, Rob’s bodyguard just kneed me in the crotch and they’ve slapped me with a restraining order, TOTALLY WORTH IT!!

        • hahah, perhaps they might write a book about it……ah…no….wait…..they cannot write! damn!

        • You have given me the giggles! Thank you!

        • LMFAO!! Robjunkie, I literally just drooled laughing so hard! I love how your avi looks like a cocktail olive representation of said crazy fangirls. TOTAL WIN!!!

          • Gee thanks. That crazy potatoehead is growing on me.

  4. Sparkelpant, your funnee. sorie, i haz no spelchek.

  5. Don’t : Scream “he’s so hot !” when he’s standing next to you in your house next to your kids and husband who look like they’d totally do him too, you know in an awkward moment for him, all that on a TV show seen by a bazillion people. Or maybe do it, cause that was embarassingly fun to watch.

    • omg…I almost felt bad…hahahah

    • Oh god, that was so awkward. Oprah will be very 2nd hand embarrassing. And funny.

      • I haven’t watched the previews. I just saw the gifs and I’m already second-hand embarrassed.

      • Will be a hard one to watch till the end through the cringing but imma try to be brave. Imagine how he felt, I would have died i think! Also i saw pics with Steam always close :) in da house!!!

        • Thank GOD they “didn’t get around to” letting the fans ask questions, that’s almost unbearable to watch under “normal” tv show circumstances, but with an audience filled with nothing but the most extreme of twihards the secondhand embarrassment could have reached lethal levels. *shudder*

        • snooooooooooooooooze I’ll be thinking of you

          • Misty I think it’s Oprah herself who read your comment and downthumbed you :-)

            snooze sample:
            Oprah: So do you think Rob is hot?
            Dakota: Kristen, Rob and Taylor are all so talented.
            Rob: I knew about Kristen, but you also slept with Taylor?
            O. Don’t worry, this will be edited out. Dakota?
            D. I’m happy to be a part of this movie, I’m such a big fan of the book.

          • No, I downthumbed you without realizing it, cause now I see I could fix it. Nevermind.

    • @MP – hahhahahahahahaaaa

      Don’t : Scream “he’s so hot !” when he’s standing next to you in your house next to your kids and husband who look like they’d totally do him too, you know in an awkward moment for him, all that on a TV show seen by a bazillion people. Or maybe do it, cause that was embarassingly fun to watch.

      That comment is probably one of my most favorite, ever.

      • Thumbs up…puma!!!

        @MP……..you said it all girl!!! Epitomy of a comment!!!! And yesterday too…btw… just saying!!!

      • Thanks but I didn’t do anything. The credit for this goes to the family with a special prize for the author of “He’s so hot”!

  6. ha! that was hilarious!
    “Rob is awsome” omg, I’m always amazed about his fandom……….

    What to do with Rob?
    What NOT to do with Rob?

    My ideas on the subject (read…. on Rob) are all X-rated and I hope I spelled it right! :-)

    P.S. Happy birthday SB..KISSES honi, have a nice day!

    • Again? I thought it was yesterday. OK. Happy week birthday SB!

      • She does it for a whole week….smart LTRgirl!!!

        • Happy Birthday SB!!!

    • Happy Birthday SB.xxx.

    • Happy Birthday to you, SB, you lucky girl, getting to almost share Rob’s B-day!

  7. Don’t: cry like you’re meeting Justin Bieber. No. Just don’t.

    • same for Z.Efron!

      • same for……Henry Cavill??? just asking……..

  8. I laughed so hard at the chick pointing and laughing that my DS came over and said “Mommy, everytime you laugh like that I have to go potty.”. Um……ooooookay.

    • And I laughed so hard at THAT that the cat came over and patted my face with her paw. Pity her claws were halfway out…

      • Ouch!

    • ROFL oh my goodness your kid is so amusing.

      I laughed so hard too at the woman laughing and pointing! My DD just asked what’s wrong with me.

      • Hey SB,
        Happy Birthday for yesterday, today and tomorrow.

        Next year I’ll remind you of the correct date….ahahahahaha

        love,
        me

        • @ML ~ LOLOL that comment really deserves a “spladow!” at the end.

          SB – don’t worry, I forgot how old I was for the first half of last year. Seriously. When my sister corrected me I was so shocked I felt like I had been in a coma and missed 6 months of my life. Yeeeeeeeeep.

          Kids, don’t let a misspent youth happen to you.

          • That’s so funny, my sis corrected me too. And my mom was confused too! Hahah what is wrong with this picture? Haha. She said my real b’day is today.

          • aahahahahahahahahahahahaha

            love ya,
            me

        • I know haha, you can blame my mother for messed up dates on my birth certificate. LOL.

  9. about Stephanie’s fashion faux pax…
    it’s really hard to win in a pic with him; I’d hide myself under a blanket…. :-)

    • So true….RG…

  10. wax-Rob still freaks me out….dudeeeeee!!!!

    I was so cryptically avoiding MmeT in London..

    • I know!!! Are we sisters or something…are you a gemini????
      I was thinking I was the only one….it’s soooo weird…I would NEVER stand next to that thing, let alone “pose” for a pic with or without a fansign…weirdos man. weirds.

      • but I did pose for my avi next to his cardboard cut out for Remember Me in the movie theatre…NORMAL!

  11. @Southerbelle happy birthday!
    Man, you’re one lucky girl to have your bday a day before Rob’s. And here I was showing off to my girlfriends that my bday was only 17 days after Rob’s.

    Haha @sparklepants (I totes ROFL-ed at your name) these are brilliant. I’m so jealous of Stephanie, his agent. If I were spending all of my days with HHH, I’d definitely dress better. Or atleast wear some plaid to make sure he notices.. ;)

    My oh my where on EARTH did you find that pic of that classy lady on her knees just as Rob happens to be near her? And boy those fans look like they’re about to do some bodily harm to The Pretty.

  12. These are excellent points of advice. But . . . they assume a certain amount of higher brain function that may not be present when actually found face to face with HHH.

    So, you know how you can have a totally rational plan in your head for something and then when the event actually happens you go all lizard brain and you just act? Yeah, that’s what happens to many of us when we actually see Rob.

    I went to the premiere of Remember Me in NYC. We all stood in our little human pen to keep us contained. And despite numerous admonitions by the security to keep our cool & not attack him AND despite me making about 1000 jokes about the idea that any of us would try to attack him, the second he stepped up to the front of the barrier, we all went all Cro Magnon and just tried to grab him. There was this crazy surge forward and I totally stepped on some girl in front of me and I didn’t care because I just had to touch him. And I couldn’t think straight enough to operate a camera and I just lost my shit and screamed in his face.

    So, judge not lest ye be judged yourself. Just sayin.

    ps – love the pic of the girl on her knees.

    • I hear ya girlfriend (how 80s of me). No judging. I totally lose my shit while just ogling pics of him on the interwebs, so I can’t say in all honesty that I would not go batshit crazy if I saw him in real life. Okay, I probably would cause I’m a control freak, and I hate embarrasing myself, but it would be hard (twss), like it would take a superhuman effort on my part to keep it together.

      • Crap, I meant I wouldn’t, wouldn’t go batshit crazy. probably. maybe.

        • I think I’d stare, drool and monkey clap.
          He’d think I was “special” feel sorry for me and give me some tounge a hug and a pep talk out of pity.

    • It’s impossible to keep your cool. I gave UC strict orders not to let me squeal like a fangirl when we went to see Jimmy Fallon. Yeah, I didn’t even wait for him to step onto the stage. I went apeshit during Rob is Bothered along with everyone else. I like to tell myself that I just got caught up in the energy of the crowd.. yup.. it wasn’t me, it was mob mentality…

      • It was “rob mentality”

        • You win.

          • Fuckin A. What’s my prize?

            Pleasepleaseplease let it be a surpise visit from Pattinson Pants Lady.

            Oh PPL, did you ever know that you’re my hero? You’re everything I wish I could be. I could fly higher than an eagle, with you as the wind beneath my wings.

    • Funny post!!

      I agree with the NYC girls…..at both NM Fan Event and RM premier, it started off really calm, eerily so……and then suddenly he appears and the chaos begins.

      And it is hard not to get caught up in it all.

      But it is BRILLIANT fun too.

      But there are times when you just have to keep calm, and not squee OR squeal and not even stare!!

      http://twitpic.com/1fjl5d

      • Your experience in that theatre is an example to us all: Like a rare, endangered animal, one must wait quietly and stay still and calm, and maybe you’ll be rewarded by a Rob sighting of more than a few seconds of earsplitting craziness!

        • How kind, and thanks, TOO, it all feels like a bit of a dream now :)

          But those that went to Fallon or Ellen or or Oprah or Kimmel (yes, I am looking at you UC and Moon) could not scream and holla (all the time) either, I bet we could all be restrained if we had to be.

          Fact is, in an ideal world, we would just rather be on our knees behind the dumpster with RP……

          That’s Normal!
          :)

  13. Sooo Jel of that lucky lady in the dumpster picture. Rob looks…*floats of to daydream*.

    • Totes agree with you, GGGP!!!

  14. Rob’s apparently gone green, and isn’t posing in front of dumpsters anymore. Now he’s in front of recycling bins.
    Dumpsters are so 2009…..

    • He is also into graffiti art as well, it looks as if he has been drawing a pair of *boobies* on the wall as well, “See Kristen, I like them this size”.

    • Jaime, that’s really funny.

  15. Love especially the Don’ts……except……Ehhh we greeks like to fall on our knees a lot……just saying!!!!

    Happy birthday……again……..SB honey!!!!

  16. Fab post !!!!!!!!!! If we cant hump waxwork Rob, can we at least hump cardboard cutout Edward? I have a ‘friend’ who may be interested! Hahahah!

    • your ” friend’ – has very big Birthday plans for humping cardboard Edward! & WaxRob..

  17. I can only hope that if I am ever fortunate enough to meet Rob that I will be able to maintain the shred of dignity I have left and follow the rules. Somehow, however, I think I would completely lose my shit.

  18. “…..should you have the pleasure (hehehe…she said pleaseure) of meeting Edwa…er, I mean Rob”

    Cause he is Edward in RL isn’t he? :)

    x

  19. Well there went my dream about him signing Edward/Jasper slash fic for me.

    I’m crushed.

  20. DO wear catholic school girl plaid. It never fails. Trust. Holla, SB!!!! And happy birthday :)

    • Definitely wear Catholic school girl plaid uniform! I have a few of those from HS.

      It will not will not fail you! And don’t forget to put your hair in fuzzy pigtails!

  21. If I were to EVER run into Rob, I would

    a. Lose my shiz and run across the street because I hate big crowds. Because I can’t pay attention while running in a panic, I would not look both ways while crossing the street, thus getting hit by a car (not Rob style). That’s how I would get noticed by Rob.

    b. Be mean to him. Just like I did with my grade-school crush. Everytime he opened his mouth and said something to me, I snapped back with some snarky comment. Needless to say, we never dated.

    c. When Rob would approach me to ask about the super-intelligent book I was pretending to read, I would act nonchalant, as if I didn’t know who he was. Then my 10 year-old daughter would return to her seat and say – “OMG – aren’t you that Edward Pattington guy from Twilight. My mom is SO in love with you.”

    All 3 scenarios = FAIL

    • hahahhahahhahhahhahhahah, you’re sooo funny….<3

    • I’m not nearly as prepared as you, I wouldn’t have anything intelligent/appropriate on my person
      … I wonder if he’d sign my mail?

    • @Boomin’ Granny

      “All 3 scenarios = FAIL”

      But very very funny :)

  22. DON’T call him Edward.
    DO call him Tom Sturridge.
    DO ask him to be setup with Tom Sturridge.

  23. Don’t get on your knees…at least not in public!! I haven’t laughed that hard since seeing Bleriana’s post on TheColdShower.com yesterday morning!!!! That was funny! I know I’ve been MIA sorry. THings are a bit crazy here in TN. Weather doesn’t like us apparently & we keep getting rain we do NOT need. Last week it flooded like hale & this week it’s raining some more. Hopefully soon the rain will move out & things will go back to ‘normal’ for the southeast USA!!! Anyway, thanks for a great post! As always, it was wonderful & made me laugh!! Have a great day!!

    ps…happy late birthday Moon. I did post something yesterday on your bday post, but I wasn’t sure if anyone would see it so I thought I’d say it again today!! Sorry I’m a couple days late but hey, better late than never…it’s the thought that counts..etc etc right?! Sorry!! Happy birthday, I hope it was great!!

    • Hey Melinda, I wondered about you and other ltr ladies here in the south. You’re right, things are crazy in TN right now. My area was especially hard hit by the flood but atleast everyone survived. Glad to know you’re ok.

  24. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOUTHERNBELLE!!

    Wish I could smear Rob with pink frosting and send him to you for your b-day!!

    Hope you have a wonderful day!

    • Oh dear I would really, really love that. Can you add a cherry on top too please? :-)

      XO

      • Sure! Frostin’ him up for you would be fun but I’d probably end up licking it all off and starting over again. May take a while to get him to you…

        • tupelo…I will let you know my birthday when it’s time….I want Rob with pink frosting… seriously………..I NEED ROB with a pink frosting……or without… :D

          • Mel: you NEED Rob with pink frosting… LOL. I think I do too! My birthday’s in December so maybe we could add a Santa hat. Be really cute…

        • Oh gahhhh, ok if you will be like that, I’ll just drive to your house and we can lick him together.

          I hope Rob’s not lurking today….women are hormonal and ovulating here. :-)

          • SB, you are one NAUGHTY little girl! But… licking him together… sure I’m game if you are… lol.

          • Oh…no………there is three of us!!! For the licking….it’s such a big cake!!!
            You absolutely can’t do it by yourselves….so I’m comming!!!!

          • Such a big cake… LOL. (Can’t argue with you there!)

            …so I’m coming!!! (That’s what she said!!!!)

          • tupelo….honey……muaaahhhh…….XOXOXO…….

          • mel, you’re “coming?” LOL

            Woot!

          • I am coming…….over…to lick…..on the cake…..tststs….girls…get it together!!!
            you died me…….just died me!!! LMFAO!!!

  25. Very funny post, Sparklepants.

  26. Hopefully, when we meet we are near a Bar and we can go in and start with Body shots.
    He can “sneakadoodledoo” (That word cracked me up) all he wants with my rack or honestly anything else. justsayin’

    Boomin Granny. My 10 year old would Out me too! Its bad enough she points out all the stuff in the store. LOUDLY. “Look Mommy, a Robert Pattinson Calendar!!!”

    Happy Birthday SB

    • “Its bad enough she points out all the stuff in the store. LOUDLY. “Look Mommy, a Robert Pattinson Calendar!!!””

      My DH does that as well. Last time we went to buy some books and i was queueing to pay he shouted from the other end of the till: “Look – it’s a New Moon boardgame! Should i buy this for you?”

      My thoughts focused on one word… “KILL.”

      Aloud i just said that if he wants to play it he can buy it.

      • My DH has taken to calling me “cougar” since I have developed an “acute fondness” for a young, English Actor that have been working in Wizard/Slacker/Dali/Vampire movies.

    • My children have no boundaries. It doesn’t matter where we are, if Twilight is mentioned, they have to out me ;oP

      NL – my husband LOVES to make fun of me. He calls Rob, Edward Pattinson – I don’t dare correct him.

  27. “Don’t worship wax Rob”.

    I cringed when I saw the pics if all the fans kissing the waxwork Rob.

    With my infectious disease background (darn it Rob, you still haven’t called me for a discussion about odd diseases), all I could like of was, eeewwwwwwwwwwww.

    Wow, a wax work figure that actually looks like the person!!!

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/8674650.stm

    • @drsaka – hahaaha love your link! LOLOL

    • The one of Helen Mirren- not the Fergy one!!!!

      • @drsaka ~

        Oh well that makes more sense… but the idea of it being Fergie really made me laugh. :D

  28. Do let Rob check out your rack.

    YESS! I did something right! :D
    (see profile pic) hahaha

    • DAMN! You lucky girl. He’s checkin’ you out. I would have that pic enlarged and professionally framed. Plus, what a great Christmas card.

      • LOL. oh, it totally is enlarged and framed and up on my bedroom wall. I have no shame :D

  29. “No need to hook ‘em horns or whatever hand gesture signifies that you are intoxicated.”

    Well, you must be intoxicated if you are throwing up a hook ‘em horns.

  30. Sheer brilliance. I am printing this so I can study as I hang out in airports. Sooner or later our paths must surely cross?

    @lovelynessa412 I am so jealous!!!!

  31. If you happen to meet Rob at a bar:

    DO – buy him a Heineken.

    DON’T – deep throat the bottle when it’s empty. (do that AFTER you sneak it home in your bag.)

    DO – take a smoke break with him.

    DON’T – attempt to inhale all of his second-hand smoke.(You might pass out & then someone else will move in on him!)

    DO – ask him to dance.

    DON’T – ask if you can give him a lap dance. (He doesn’t need to be asked.)

    DO – offer to give him a ride home.

    DON’T – tell him ‘home’ is the dumpster out back. (let him find out when he wakes up.)

    Happy Birthday, SouthernBelle & JAG of RAoR!

    • Is it sad that your list is pretty much my RobFantasy?

      • Nope. That’s NORMAL.

        See, we have, uh, more REALISTIC (snort) sexpectations of what could possibly (in a very optimistic, he’s-too-drunk-to-see/care-but-everything-else-still-functions-like-a-horny-24-year-old way) occur in an encounter with HHH.

        Screamy fangirls can’t get beyond seeing him & breathing the same air – forget touching him. We, on the other hand, though it might be only a hawt hump in a hall by the restroom, MIGHT be graced with a sighting of the Holy SparklePeen. I don’t know about you, but that is one vision that would last me a lifetime (that and stock in Duracell.)

        • Exactly. I’m glad we’re all ont he same page.

          Honestly, Rob. I don’t want your autograph. I could even skip the photo op. Just meet me behind the bar in 5 min. Give me 30. Ok, let’s make it an hour.

          • Another OG used to say around LTR, “Rob can autograph my uterus with his sperm.”

            My throat would be an okay substitute!

          • KittTatt, I’m so glad you went there. I <3 you more now.

  32. Laughed so much at this I had to read it again!
    “you should take your knitted beret and your Nikon Coolpix a few feet back cause you is crazy” – so funny!!

  33. Happy Birthday, Southernbelle! And Happy belated Birthday, Moon! I’ve missed so much in the glorious Rob bubble. Real life has been kicking my ass. Never been so busy before in my life. So grateful for this little break that happens to coincide with Rob stepping out of cars looking f*ckhawt in all his REO speedwagon t-shirt glory!!
    Great letter, sparklepants!

    • REO has never looked or sounded better.

      • Totally agree! Now I want a shirt like that! I may have one in fact. The shirt looks to be circa 1984 or so. And I think there’s a box of my old highschool clothes in my mom’s attic. Rob would be in Goodwill heaven if he could have those…

  34. All of those photos mortified me. I hate crazy. Those lunatics are why he hides in hotel rooms and eats an entire room service menu worth of meals while cowering in a corner.

    I gotta say, KittTatt, your list was A+++ Big thumbs up for that!!

    • Thanks! Just trying to balance out ‘the crazies’ with some NORMAL!

      • @KittTatt ~ There is just so much crazy. They make anyone that is actually NOT crazy look crazy by default! Not cool, psycho fangirls… NOT COOL.

        • totally not cool, it makes us (normal fans) look very bad! :-)

  35. Happy birthday, SouthernBelle!
    Post pics of your sparklepeen cake, please!

    Luckily (or not), when I get nervous I get very, very tired. So if I was ever lucky enough to meet Rob in real life, I’d prolly get all narcoleptic on his ass and fall asleep at his feet.

    • Haha, trust me I wanted a sparklepeen but I asked DH to make me a cake and well, he is not so skilled. LOL. So no cake, fine I’ll make my own cake today.

      I have no clue how to post a pic here. I do have a Fangbanger shirt courtesy of an awesome friend! Wearing it proud today!

  36. Great post! Did anyone else notice the note on the door handle “Dear Rob I Love You . . . so cute . . . our date . . . #1 Fan” is signed TAYLOR?

  37. Hey girls, thanks for the birthday wishes! I love you all!

    More later! :-)

  38. Sparklepants that was GREAT! Loved it loved it loved it! I like the drunk Rons of course. Thanks for sharing your funny.

    PS HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Southernbelle!

  39. Great post Sparklepants!

    I often wonder how I’d react if I saw Rob in public. I just hope I won’t be like those girls, that’s a bit much. Talk about in your face! I saw that last yr, even the video was awful. LOL. And the woman pointing and laughing is just so hilarious! Rob is funny? LOL

    Awww Rob, I want to meet you by the dumptster too. You look so cute in that picture!

  40. AHAHAHHA. Loved this letter! thumbs up sparklepants!!

    I will print this out and stick it in my pocket when I go to the eclipse premiere. I fear this mob mentality will take over!!

    Jules, SB, Puma, RG…please keep me in line if I start spewing crazies all over twitter on that day!

    • Applepie- hehehe nah it’s ok, as long as we keep it this way, and not in front of the Rob! When we meet him we will act normal(well we are gonna try really hard, twss).

  41. Plaid and boobs, that’s our Rob!
    * dusting off plaid bustier from 1992, …just in case*

    That uber high waisted shiny jean skirt doubles as a super push up bra! Maybe a smart wardrobe choice for a Rob meet and greet.

    • Would this be okay?

      http://www.scotweb.co.uk/sr_swhdr_cmt_IMG_8347

      • NOOOOOOOOOOO drsaka……..please don’t…omg!!!! :D

      • Dude, YES!
        Hey, I could see it with some Doc MArtins

      • ROFL, no, oh gosh no.

        But if you do, make sure to get a matching purse.

        • I’m getting it for you for your birthday!

          Happy Birthday SB!

          • Gee thanks! Haha.

        • happy Bday southern’BELLE’

          • Cheeeee???? Hi……….how are you sista??? Who is that…on your avi??? I can’t tell…..

          • thanks, che who’s on your avi?

          • hi gals
            it’s Frank Lampard from CHElsea fc.as u know(well maybe u don’t :) ) the blues became the champion this season at English premier league

            and i’m still calllin’ ROB to change his team and join to me

            xo,chears

      • That is the perfect “meeting Rob” clothing item. Too bad it’s $258. Do you think I can find one in a thrift store?

        • Srsly- I think there was a L.A.M.B. version a few years ago.

  42. Thanks for the thumbs up guys! Honestly, if I really did see Rob in person I’d lose my shiz. Hard. I’ve decided I’ll say something COMPLETELY inappropriate…like mention my name is SparklePants on a website where we post pictures of your crotch alot. Or something random and weird…like “Your mom is so hot”. But I’d never physically attack him. So not cool.

  43. Happy Birthday SouthernBelle
    :)

  44. I haven’t laughed so hard in like what? over a month now.

    How I have missed LTR, LTT and Rob. Yes, was on hiatus.

    Thanks for the tips, will try to keep those in mind should I ever be so fortunate to get close enough to Rob. I have no doubt I would go apeshit and embarrass my kids.

    • Hey KB! Missed you girl!
      I think the key to meeting Rob is alcohol. You, him, it doesn’t matter! Although I do get handsy and I love EVERYONE when I drink….

  45. I love that pic where Rob’s checking out the girl’s chest area. LOL. I wish you’d check me out, sadly I don’t have much to show for in that department!

    • That’s such a great pic. Also, the way it’s cropped at the bottom where you don’t see her clothes, makes it look like she has no top on at all. No wonder he’s ogling.

  46. Oh yeah.. the Pattinson Pantz lady… whatever happen to her and the woman who makes undies with Robbies face on the crotch?

    ps.
    The pic of the ” boob/rack” check out is priceless! You can almost picture what he is saying. Wish there were more of them.
    Perhaps one day a least a dozen of us should contrive to stalk /meet up with him all wearing low cut dresses and get a pic snapped of his expression.

    Truely, that would be a Kodak moment.

  47. happy birthday SB!!! :D

    xxxx
    owl

    • Owlie,
      Did you see Bobby Long yet? How was it? Tell me…I’m seeing him tonight.

      Can’t wait.

      lion

      • Hey dudetts–

        Did you catch Bobby Longs LIVE podcast interview yesterday? http://www.fearlessradio.com see it below (out of Chicago). He says he loves OBAMA. He talked politics and a lot of other stuff you may be interested in hearing. Bobby said he moved to NYC a few weeks ago (late April).. So he’s now officially based out of the USA!!!!–Which means more tours.. more Bobby “the” Long. –Also, heard TomStu (my little cupcake) is suppose to be bringing his “Punk Rock” play to NYC broadway this fall 2010.. (story needs to be confirmed).

        • BTW, the kid Bobby’s talking about belongs to Bandmum, one of the LTR OG’s. Damn awesome shout out!

      • Have too much fun tonight, ML!

        • He’s so brill…Loved the podcast, Hermes. Thanks for posting!!!!

          Keisha and Owlie…Thanks….I love you!!!!! I’ll let you know….

          Love the dog (pugh) on the chair behind Bobby…love all dogs.

          love,
          lion
          p.s. Bobby, did you really have to get a haircut? No worries…love your voice, Babe.

          • if his hair kept going the way it was, he’d be running into walls… but damn those bangs were all sorts of foxy

            will. not. jump. him. in. Athens.

            hehehe

      • you get to see him before me then! let me know how it is.. I see him next thursday.. I am already squeeeeee happy.. my bobby crush is equal to my rob crush at this point.. hehehe

  48. Jumping ahead, but in honor of Birthdays-
    looking forward to tomorrow’s creative use of party hats.

  49. OMG love the ” Fan Fic signing ” pic, his look is priceless~!

  50. […] Do’s & Don’ts around Rob Pattinson Take 2 Long long ago we informed you all about the Do’s and Don’ts when meeting Rob Pattinson. Today we hand over t […] […]


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