Posted by: UC | April 8, 2010

Fantasy vs. Reality of Meeting Rob

Can I just say that one of the BEST parts about running LTR is that when I have 12 hour work days like I have this week (TWO days in a row) with ZERO time to be online, we have REALLY good options from letters you guys wrote that we can not only share with everyone but also MAKE US LAUGH! Which is really important after the week I’m having:) PS my favorite part about this letter from snowwhitedrifted is that it came with this subject line: “The creepiest part of this letter is that I thought of it while at the gyno.”

Fantasy Rob vs....

Dear Rob,

While in the waiting room for my, ahem, annual exam (ladies, you know what I mean), I decide to peruse the fabulous selection of magazines: “Parenting” (no), “Better Homes and Gardens” (don’t care anymore), “Forbes” (yeah right), oh, “Entertainment Weekly”. “EW,” that’s my speed, maybe there are some pics of the you that I’ve missed on LTR. Then I started thinking about where I was and thought “what if you, Rob, were an OBGYN????” Um, total ew! Sure, the breast exam would be fun, but the rest? Ugh, no, that is not my best angle, Rob, and you are allergic. So I thought about what would be my fantasy way of our initial meeting (toally normal). It would go something like this:

SETTING: Just before sunset, early fall, Crystal Cove in Laguna Beach, deserted.

YOU: Sitting on the beach with your dog drinking a Heine.
ME: Walking my well behaved Jack Russell Terrier off leash.
SOUNDTRACK
: Just you playing acoustic guitar, the waves crashing on the shore, and an occasional seagull.

SCENARIO: Your dog bolts towards us and my dog’s tail wags furiously. Dogs run together and frolic in the water for a while. Dogs run to you and shake off the water. You smile, shake the sea water out of your disheveled hair and giggle at the hilarity and utter cuteness of your dog’s new friend. I saunter up to the pack of you guys, looking flawless and tan in my hot red bikini. You look at me. Your dog looks at me. Your dog begins to hump my leg. You say, as your eyes meet mine with an impish gaze, “My God, who could blame him”. I smile and….

FADE TO BLACK.

vs.

REALITY

....Reality Rob

SETTING: High noon, hottest day of summer, same cove (which is a long ass walk from the parking lot to the water, including rough terrain, rocks and stairs).

YOU: passed out on the beach, empty bottle of Stoli as a pillow, scruffy, and I think you are a homeless dude and contemplate giving you my sandwich while stealing your dog to give him a better life.
ME
: Slathered in sunscreen, sweat (it’s a looooooong walk-see above, and I am carrying beach chairs, a sunbrella, numerous mom totes and a cooler) wearing an ugly sunhat, embarrassing “Jasper Says Relax” wifebeater, and beach jorts.
SOUNDTRACK
: Barking dogs and a crying child- all which are mine.

SCENARIO: Both my dogs run up too you and jump on your passed out self. You awake with a “WTF?” as my boy dog humps your head and my girl dog bites your puppy (TWSS). I lumber over to you and screach apologies. You are a nice guy and don’t even consider calling animal control. Then my very young daughter runs up to you and says, “You uncle Rob, you pitures are on mommy’s compuuuuder. You bite peeeple.” Then she bites you, hard, on the shoulder. You run to the ER to get a tetanus shot.

FADE TO SAD.

So I wondered how other people have thought of how they would like to meet you. Do their fantasies involve dogs, beaches and guitars too?

Sincerely,
-snowwhitedrifted

Great discussion snowwhitedrifted! My fantasy has been and always will be meeting Rob at a bar where we’re listening to a great band, we share a smoke (I don’t cough and look stupid), have a laugh, occasionally brush against one another innocently until, in a drunken stupor one innocent brush turns into a longer hold and then – ugh- Fade to Black… sorry….. Butttttt in REALITY, I’m in my pajamas, sweating because it’s 90 degrees in April, sitting on my couch, watching CSI while a cat tries to get on my lap to snuggle & make me hotter and I think I just dropped a piece of popcorn in between my boobs. With No Rob!

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Responses

  1. Love it!

    I share your fantasy meeting of Rob, and I try to avoid the reality of the whole situation. Denial is a wonderful thing!

    • Jess, but the “Fantasy-pic” is…….just NO!NOOOOOO! :-)

      • No no, THIS part:
        “My fantasy has been and always will be meeting Rob at a bar where we’re listening to a great band, we share a smoke (I don’t cough and look stupid), have a laugh, occasionally brush against one another innocently until, in a drunken stupor one innocent brush turns into a longer hold and then – ugh- Fade to Black”

        Oh my. That pic at the top.. I can’t even look at.

        • Horrible picture…could someone please delete it or something???

        • That’s my favorite fantasy for meeting Rob! Not that I’ve ever… thought about it… at all.

      • Sorry, I should have been more specific. That part was UC’s note I think.

        • haha…no, all dreams are great, but that “pic” is a “p*c” …lol

          • That Rob-channeling-Fabio pic has got to go!

            To think, Cathy H wanted Rob to wear a long weave/wig as Edward.
            *shudders

  2. Fade to sad – thats how any ( completely unlikely )encounter I would have with Rob would probably end ha ha

    Hilarious letter I laughed/snorted and now must get back up my stepladder to finish decorating :-) it’s 1pm in England I am not up at the crack of dawn doing home improvements !!!

  3. “You uncle Rob, you pitures are on mommy’s compuuuuder. You bite peeeple.” Then she bites you, hard, on the shoulder.

    hahahah, that’s so funny! Love your letter, snowwhitedrifted!!!!<3

    Love the "reality" pic…… and where to meet HIM?
    It's always the pub, the music, the drinking….the most "familiar" surrounding for me..and….so…. Rob, just do a call , I don't bite….(Oh my, that joke is sooo lame :-) ), so DON't do it! lol

    • Robgirl: I’ve thought about meeting him in a pub but somehow it always ends with us ‘doin’ it” fully clothed up against a wall in a dark smoky corner…

      • …and DOING him !!!!…I know, I know ….
        :-)

      • WORD!

      • Well said Tupelo!! Oh to be Emilie in remember me and the way she had her fingers in his hair up against a wall!!

        • Oh gosh I had dreams about that, me being Emilie of course! Bwahahaha.

          Now I’m blushing for admitting it.

          • Don’t worry belle, I had dreams about it too so don’t be ashamed to admit it ,if only the dreams could be a reality!
            Oh rob……am I speaking out loud? Lol

  4. My fantasy isn’t really the beachy thing. ‘Cause I’ve done ‘things’ on the beach and it’s nasty! Sand everywhere and I mean everywhere! Not fun.

    I’ve been playing around with writing a novel for years. Haven’t gotten very far. Maybe I’ll actually do it someday. But in my fantasy I’m a famous novelist and Rob and I are both being interviewed on a morning show. We meet backstage and he’s instantly smitten by my hot sexiness and charm…

    • @tupelo, honey i’m literaly crying here
      i luved your fantasy-u made my day
      it’s nice to see i’m not the only one who dreams so carzy thinks

      lol

      • Yeah, that’s my “fantasy” but the reality is that if Rob ever came to Memphis, a bunch of friends and I would probably be celebrating somebody’s divorce by getting totally snockered in a pub on Beale Street. Rob would be minding his own business have a drink at the bar or something and one of my girls (and I can picture exactly which one) would slink up to him and ask him if he wanted to dance, stumble and pour her beer all over him… and another would rush up and try to wipe the beer off his crotch…

        • MEMPHIS!

          In my Memphian fantasy, Rob comes here to meet kids at St Jude Children’s Research Hospital on the same day that I’m there for my regular volunteer stuff. (Since I have several friends who work there, they gave me the heads up.) He’s impressed with my charity and empathy, and in return I give him a map of how to get to Graceland without getting shot. No sexytimes ensue. This is Memphis.

          PS – Rob’s people really need to get him to come to St Jude.

          • A map of how to get to Graceland without getting shot! LOL. Ain’t that the truth! This is Memphis!

            PS- You’re awesome for volunteering at St. Jude. Would love to do that myself but not sure I could handle it. So heartbreaking. I’ve participated in many fundraisers for the hospital tho.

        • hahaha you’re funny! A friend of mine just got a divorce and I guess you could say we were celebrating her divorce too!

          Wiping the beer of his crotch, well I had a dream about that!

          • SB, I’ve got 2 friends with pending divorces. They’ve been planning this divorce party for a while. Can’t imagine what they’ll come up with but I do know they plan to start it at a pub on Beale Street (Home of the Blues). So my little scenario could happen…..

            Robcrotch dreams? Yeah, I’ve had ‘em too!

  5. Snowwhitedrifted<3….sorry, I forgot to mention that…

    I LOVE that you don't care anymore of ….

    "Better Homes and Gardens!" :-)

    • yeah, thanks for the letter and the laugh.

      • And what a laugh it was, hilarious!

        • hey jellybean. me been stalking your twitter. You’re back? happy for your robheaven.

          • Why stalking, why not following so I can follow back???
            Very happy, I’ve seen him again today, entering the building on Egyetem ter, where they have been for the last two days. Unfortunately, they have been shooting inside, so I didn’t get to see him all the time.
            I just came back, 30 minutes ago, and first thing I do is check my “mother ship”, what else.

          • Jellybean, I was stalking and living vicariously through you on twitter, too. I’m glad you got to see DuRob.

          • Jellybean, lol about the “mother ship”…and seemed you had a GOOD time<3

          • It was great, but I’m still high on seeing Rob, so tomorrow I might return back to “what are you thinking” “how old are you” or “get your life together, get married and start procreating like most of your friends”, but hopefully not, haha
            @MP, are you sure you weren’t in Budapest? I talked to this french girl who claimed to be living there (Erasmus exchange), and she was just passing by, didn’t know what was happening …. and then waited for me for two hours until Rob appeared.

          • @JellyBean
            hahahaha, that sounds like me. “Rob who? Oh I’m just keeping you company for a while.” But it wasn’t me. I would have popped the “are you JellyBean” question once you told me where you’re from.
            Also NOT wanting to get married (what’s the point?) or having kids, it’s soo normal. Go for the pretty, it’s more fun. And save some for London.
            I was thinking of having a super secret Rob twitter account, but there’s not much RL life time to cut on from.

  6. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. The “fantasy” (actually the joke) involves a dumpster (just for the set) and (a whole lot of) drinks with friendly arty word vomiting Rob. Like Rob saying (I’ve read he said that to a fan at Marcus’ gig) “Looks like I’ve wet myself” (how priceless was that for starting a conversation). Me “Why, because you saw me or is TomStu around?”

    OK, after the cheesy, the reality.
    Drinking with my friends and saying to myself (not out loud, still a bit sane here) that I’m cooler than this guy and I don’t really care about him.

    The ending. I’m here every day. Though that might just be another sweet addiction.

    • The ending. I’m here every day. Though that might just be another sweet addiction.

      +1

    • honi, I LOVE that you are here every day!
      What about being cool + (artywordvomit)Rob
      Incompatibly? I don’t think so…. <3

  8. Hilarious letter, snowwhitedrifted! I couldn’t contain my laughter at ” You awake with a “WTF?” as my boy dog humps your head and my girl dog bites your puppy (TWSS). I lumber over to you and screach apologies.” Oh man. That visual killed me. Yes, I’m mentally 12.

    I must confess that yesterday I had a whole conversation with Rob (I mean, myself in the mirror – in my head, in case you were getting worried) about beer. Yep, if I ever meet you Rob, I’m totally going to lure you in with my expansive knowledge of fine beers.

    Aaaand… that’s all I’ve got. You can stop laughing now.

    • not laughing at all…..IMPRESSED, I love girls with an expansive knowledge of (fine) beers!!! Cheers!

  9. Great letter (and name) snowwhitedrifted!

    My basic fantasy always involves meeting him in a bar where a cool band is playing and I pretend that I don’t know who he is & we share a few beers, go outside for a smoke (which I manage to carry off even though I don’t smoke), leave to grab a burger at a greasy spoon, wind up back at his hotel room and . . . fade to black.

    But a la yesterday’s post, now I often add TomStu to the mix and I convince them to play for my team for a few hours (I’m so hot that I can turn a gay guy straight in my fantasies. It’s my fantasy – I can do anything I want).

    In my reality, I see Rob at a movie premiere and I try to trample the girls in front of me so I can touch him and I’m so excited that I can’t remember how to make my camera work and it is over in less than 30 seconds and I lovingly discuss it with my girlfriend for DAYS afterward.

    • I have the same fantasy!! I totally pretend I don’t know who he is and we have such chemistry and witty banter back and forth, I would start smoking again, just for you Rob…

      • Nooooooooooooo to the smoking! Hope it’s a joke. Uber tweed: if not think of me & my Mama at her chemo appointment on Monday…just 2 years after her younger singer/songwriter brother died of the same disease….he only found out when the tumour was so big it pressed on a nerve & he kept dropping the plectrum on stage. Want this for the Pretty?

        • Thanks for that dose of reality, EMJ, and sorry to hear about your family.

    • Ha ha ha
      “But a la yesterday’s post, now I often add TomStu to the mix and I convince them to play for my team for a few hours (I’m so hot that I can turn a gay guy straight in my fantasies. It’s my fantasy – I can do anything I want).”

      Yes, it’s all possible in Fantasyland. Gay men YEARN to change teams and I can pull of a bikini.

      And because of yesterday’s post, and that awesome article you comment -linked, I have renewed esteem for RobStu. Love those Hetereoflexibles!

      • You know those RobStu interviews/articles were made up–like in Seinfeld–Fake! Fake! Fake! Great post today, and I love your word “heteroflexible”!

        • yeah, but a girl can dream. I’m a california girl, I’m good with fake. ;)

        • TomStu!!!
          Where art thou my little morsel of sweet goodness?
          Hath thee run from our amoral passions for thee into the arms of his Lord Sparkle Peen?

          We should do a Shakespear themed blog one day..
          heh. ;)
          xH

  10. I love how your mind works, snowwhitedrifted!

    For over six months now I make scenarios of how I would meet Rob and what I would tell him…and every single time I end up just staring at him with an open mouth and mumbling some stupid excuses for how I’m sorry to bother him!

    Yeah…so I’m reconciled with my reality of being here with you on LTR and writting letters to him AS IF he actually reads them…

    I love you for providing me my daily dose of Robphantasy!

    • well…”staring with an open mouth”…is at least something you have at in common with HIM!!!! :-)
      I LOVE that!

      • OMG…I do???I have???He does???
        Did I tell ya I love ya today??? I LOVE YOU!!!

        • hopefully works, otherwise it’s me staring with an open mouth….lol

          • It worked…and you died me!!!

          • I always think he looks possessed in this pic. Something with the eyes. But he’s still damn fine.

          • I love that picture!!!! Yeah he does looks really driven, he’s gonna do something bad to me.

  11. If I saw Rob on the beach in the Plain Gravy tee shirt, I would be the one humping him not my dog. You can’t let your dog get a step ahead when it comes to Rob!

    • Wise words!!!

    • I forgot my fantasy of meeting Rob. It involves floggers, spreaders, and anal beads. Don’t ask.

      • reading a bit too much MOTU and/or The Training?

      • The butt drawer is at the top of your Christmas list, I see.

        • Yes I asked Mr. Strand a few questions last night and he was NOT impressed. Told me to come back in 10 months or so and ask again if I was truly interested. Sigh.

  12. Fantasy:

    I’m sitting enjoying a cider on a scorching hot day, in a beer garden overlooking a cricket green. Group of lads come and sit on the same table as me, we get chatting, they are hilarious. They keep telling me their friend would love me. ‘They’ are the Britpack, and that ‘friend’ is Rob, he turns up, they’re right….

    Reality:
    I’m too drunk to remember.

    • LMFAO!!!<3

  13. Aah, hilarious letter, snowwhitedrifted! <3

    So, you're saying there's a reality Rob? That's ridiculous.

  14. Huh, my fantasy involves being stranded on an island (after a plane crash with Rob & I the only survivors)and a waterfall where fun times ensue.

    Picture me impressing Rob with my survival skills among my OTHER impressive skills……le sigh~ Of course, by the time we are rescued and taken back to civilization it is only a matter of time before he realizes he can no longer stand to be without me in his life and searches for me until he finds me.

    Isn’t there something I should be doing right now, besides dreaming up this totally NONcreative drivel? You would think…..

    • hahaha that remimded me that movie called “love wecked”or something
      i can cheat him for long time(like forever) as we are on an island, middle of nowhere :)

  15. my fanstasy involves all members of the britpack. in one hot english/heineken/plaid mess.

    • all, together?

      • :-)

        • All…together…and the LTR girls!!! Learn to share girls, learn to share!!!

          • Ummm…

    • This sounds amazing

    • No words.

  16. My actual fantasies are private, sorry. Maybe some day I’ll write a fanfic. But the way I imagine meeting Rob is somewhere very normal, lowkey, a bar, etc. and we start casually talking and he’s instantly smitten with my charm, wit and grace.

    Unlike the reality where, no matter where it is, I’d blush, stare, perhaps stammer a bit, then a) pass out or b) run away.

    Oh, and if you’d like to imagine Rob (ok, Edward ) as a gyno read The Naked Guy Upstairs. You’ll really have something to think about the next time you go for a pap smear.

  17. don’t forget to vote for Rob as much as possible ;)
    http://www.mtv.com/ontv/movieawards/2010/best-kiss/
    and:
    /www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1972075_1976159,00.html

    • Hello Just me

      Now there are two of us!

      Just me

  18. http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1972075_1976159,00.html

    • just glanced thru that list. Snooki is 76. Supreme Court Justice Sotomayor is 101. Ah, the internet. What can’t you do?

  19. It always involves a bar or drinking of some sort. And books. And me being way smarter and wittier and cleverer than I really am. Oh, and with shinnier hair, smaller pores and biggers boobs.

    Of course, I’m wearing a very understated, cool outfit, like I didn’t even try at all. And I look fab with no makeup.

    In my fantasy I don’t have to work out to stay in shape and I can eat whatever I want.

    Actually, I think that was fantasy “me”, not “fantasy” Rob…this game is fun!

    ps – awsome post, but slightly disturbed that this all happened waiting for the gyno?

    • “Oh, and with shinnier hair, smaller pores and biggers boobs. ”

      I love this part. <3

      My fantasy is always similar. In reality, Rob would end up calling for Steve (or whatever his name is) and yelling, "you want to do WHAT to me?! You are SICK!"

    • …disturbed me too! That’s why I had to send it in.

      • You did good, SWD. Thanks for sharing.

  20. “FADE TO SAD.”

    ROTFLMAO!

    I wanna meet reality Rob, in the gravy shirt, giggling hard, running fingers through hair, scratching his nose nervously like he does, just so I can share with him some hobnobs. Maybe we could go look for his beat up BMW that he can’t remember where he put and shop for M & S undahpants and sew stoli shirts. That would give us enough time to fall in love.

    • “just so I can share with him some hobnobs.” Ha! Amazing. Although, I’m not sure I’d be willing to eat something that sounds like it should be one of the puppets in Labyrinth.

      • LOL!

  21. Totally unrelated, but after reading some articles about his Budapestshoot…mayors…governments should pay him to go and shoot in their cities/countries…he is an absolut tourist…ehhh…fanattraction…geeezzz…it is so crazy around him…

    Hang in there Rob!!!

    • I totally agree! He’s boosting tourism and local businesses everywhere he goes.

  22. I try not to have detailed fantasies about Rob (cause reality bites!) but then my subconscious mind fucks me over, and he shows up in my dreams anyway.
    Then I’m left filled with want.

    • Jules,
      YOur subconscious mindf*cks you over?

      I’m sorry….

      xoxoxox
      lion

      • Yeah, it does, because there is NEVER any sexytimes in my dreams, like never, ever. What’s the point in that?
        Subconscious FAIL!

        • I actuallly had a dream like that the other night, Jules. In my dream, Rob was somewhere close by, and how did I know that–because Steve/Dean was there, blocking my way, and telling me I couldn’t meet Rob. My own subconscious cockblocking me with a perfect image of Rob’s bodyguard! I have to laugh at myself.

          • It’s pathetic, isn’t it? Can’t have him in real life OR in your dreams, or anywhere! (except in our little shared fantasy world here).

          • In the only Rob dream I had, I completely snobbed him. We were in a tent in Africa (huge tent with lots of beds, like a improvised calamity thing) and I just walked away, like “yeah, that’s Rob, who cares”. What’s wrong with me? My subconscious just got the wrong msg. Boo!

          • Min, your subconscious hates you too? Gah!

            In reality you wouldn’t have cared if mosquitoes bit you on the butt in that tent, you’d get some of The Rob.

        • lol…..<3

          • Oh, TOO – you do understand. In my dreams I’m often like Jeff Murdoch (from Coupling). Sad, my subconscious hates me.

        • Yeah what’s up with the cockblocking?

          • Yeah, SB and MP, why does our subconscious hate us?

          • we have to start a petition…or a therapy!

          • *sigh
            I try not to fantasise while I’m awake, I mean, what if my fantasies are so good that I refuse to return to reality? We’re talking Rob here.
            I’m practically insane with the rest of my Robsession as is, I can’t add fantasex.

  23. “while stealing your dog to give him a better life”
    Bahahaha. Loved this letter!

  24. Snowwhitedrifted, I love your letter!

    I do have an annual scheduled for next week and I know I am going to be thinking of Rob and this letter, so thanks for that! (Insert sarcasm button).

    My Rob fantasy does not have a particular time or place, just that I am a few years younger and have no kids. I usually meet Rob in my bed and sadly when the fantasy is over a husband appears!

    • Ha ha ha, that was my goal, to eff up everyone’s future gyno visits.

      • my gyno is a woman, it’s not quite the same. And frankly having a hot gyno would freak me out.

        • jus’ sayin’

          http://tinyurl.com/yeyq3rf

          • mmm,I love George.But couldn’t he by a hot eye doctor? If there’s a hot guy in between my legs, I don’t want him wearing gloves.

          • LOL D2D!!! LOL!

    • I love your fantasy too!!! No kids and definitely younger!

  25. “fade to sad” = mos def sad

  26. Actual fantasy meeting of Rob: as equals. Meaning, I’m not just a fan to his awesomeness, but instead someone who has a legitimate claim to say hello. Maybe he saw me perform somewhere and came to say “nice job” or I wrote a book and the production company he’s BOUND to start within the next ten years wants to meet with me to discuss the rights. ETC.

  27. Coming out of lurkerdom to tell snowwhitedrifted that I’m taking my kids to Crystal Cove today and I will keep an eye out for her :-)

    • Sadly no heine drinking hobos, but an extremely hot lifeguard sorta made up for it :)

  28. Snow White, that was hillariO’s (like CheeriO’s)!!! Thanks for the laughs :D
    And you’re right, the creepiest part is that you thought of it while at the gyno. Something else we can now add to the “Things That Remind me of Twilight/Rob” list: cold metal speculums and rubber gloves. Whoever would have thought.

  29. “FADE TO SAD” —- LMAO!!
    That about describes my encounters with celebrities.
    Many years ago I met a rather famous singer (can’t tell which one, promissed a friend I wouldn’t) and it was the most embarassing thing of all time. A friend surprised me, I managed to mumble and stumble something very embarassing, my face was red the whole time and I spilled juice on him.
    You DO NOT want a surprise encounter with a celebrity you admire, trust me.

    I also spilled ice-cream once on expensive shoes of a rather famous model and then spent 10 mins apologizing profusely. Very embarassing.

    And I talked about poop and gas for 10mins with a mayoral candidate once.

    I think my mugshot is circulating among celebrities, person to avoid at all costs :D

    btw, this site ROCKS!! I wasted hours and hours the last few days reading posts! Freakin’ awsome site!
    Hello to everyone!

    • hi Laura.p!

    • I think you’re right about ACTUALLY meeting a celebrity. Scary. Welcome, laura.p!

  30. Is this The Universe paying me back for not being able to comment yesterday’s letter (wi-fi in hotel stopped working the second I tried to reply)???
    Because in my fantasy he and TomStu are together and out of the closet, and we meet on a dancefloor (it’s a fantasy, don’t laugh at rob dancing!!! he’s good at it) and as all gay guys they both are crazy about me, they like my ‘ho outfit and they adore my drag queen makeup (don’t laugh, again, it happened in RL theme party weeks ago when I first met one of my guy friends’ new boyfriend ) so we dance together and we hug and we kiss and we became BFF …

    No, I don’t think he’s gay in RL, but a girl can dream. I just told that my friend last week, my best shot to get up close & personal with Rob would be this scenario.

    • We totally need to hang out more.

  31. My fantasy involve beard Rob, wedding and my mom screaming “NO”. She does not approve kaukasian man .
    fade to sad .
    even in my fantasy. yeah, i’m lame like that

  32. Ugh, your letter reminds me that I need to schedule my annual appointment. *cries* do I really have to go every year?!!?! Too bad Rob isn’t the receptionist … might be more motivating.

    • Or humiliating. Too bad he’s not the doctor down the hall… The one who is always happens to be in the hallway on your way in the building… The one who’s penetrating gaze you can feel on your back as you walk away.

      …What were you saying?

  33. Hmmm that’s funny- in my fantasy, Rob and I don’t actually meet. My fantasy STARTS at Fade to Black!

  34. Fantasy meeting hmmm.. I’ll write the screenplay for it.. here we go. –

    FADE IN:
    I’ve just had my screenplay produced and I’m in LA for a production meeting about the script (they need to consult the writer so I go).

    LA is HOT (92 in the shade). I am slightly perspiring, a little drop falls between my cleveage which is slightly exposed because its damn hot. I’m wearing my business lady suit (with a slightly snug pencil skirt, fitted jacket and manshirt , and my black pointy toe 2 1/2 in stiletto heels. I’m a brunette, and I wear my hair up, but today its a bit disheveled because of the heat.

    I rush in the hotel elevator, its stuffy , I don’t look up, but I see a pair of dirty black sneakers, and tell them 6th floor please. The elevator moves up.

    I feel the sneaker boy staring at me, I take off my sunglasses and finally look up and see HIM in all his glorious hoboness.

    He tells me in his best british boy accent:
    “you have the greenest eyes I’ve ever seen”.. while he stares at my clevage… I blink and reply: –”its the fluorescent lighting”.

    The elevator door dings and I exit. leaving him wanting more with his mouth gaping open.

    Fade to Black.
    End.

    heh.
    xH

    • yay this was good

      –”its the fluorescent lighting”.
      hahaha

    • Um, wow, I think I have fake-lesbian girl crush on Fantasy you now. That or I just want your shoes.
      Awesome “it’s the flourescents” reference!

    • I have green eyes too, and fantasize about Rob commenting on them..something like “Your eyes are such amazing shade of green-they match the plaid in my shirt..” or maybe Heineken bottles.

      I bet you wouldn’t leave TomStu hanging in that elevator.

      • Plaid contacts!

      • @Dazzle..
        Of course if TomStu was there I’d grab him and make a quick exit out the elevator. –Leaving Rob with a bottle of Heniken as a trade off. –Do you think he’d sell TomStu for a beer??

        *****
        My most dearest TomStu..
        Where art thou my little morsel of sweet goodness?
        Hath thee run from our amoral passions for thee into the arms of Lord Sparkle Peen?
        Le sigh. ..
        (no new pics of TomStu..has me so bummed out and writing in Shakespearian verse). If anyone has any new pics let me know at:
        hermes2501@yahoo.com

  35. Great letter!!! love the “fade to sad” that would be my such luck to run into to Rob while dealing with my four heathens..

    me(yelling of course): @ 15 yr old – can you act like youre 15!!! @ 11 yr old – please get your brother off the floor!! @ 5 yr old – little girls don’t speak that way!! @ 3 yr old – get off the friggin floor!!!

    Rob (mubbling under his breath): THIS is why im alergic to vaginas.

    yeah he probably wont be running away with me…

    • @Melanie: you never know sweetie..
      He may be into heavy punishment.. Those British guys are kinky….
      He may want you to spank him too and put him in a diaper and feed him mush…. who knows.

      ok..nevermind get that last bit out of your mind quick.

      • ohhh ohhh or maybe he likes to breastfeed. i stopped nursing awhile ago but id relactate for him in a heartbeat ;)

  36. I think everyone’s meeting Rob fantasies should include a Non-Disclosure Agreement. Then he would be more relaxed but hopefully still as adorkable.

    • Do you think he actually has NDAs that he has people sign? Or his lawyers make him have people sign? Is this why we don’t hear more kiss-and-tell stories from former friends/girlfriends? This is my practical mind speaking to me about what the reality of being Rob must be like.

      • I dunno for other people but I don’t think it’s the case for girlfriends. I think he just doesn’t hang out with girls who would tell. The only mystery is the early Twi period when he went out with people he didn’t really know in LA.

        • Glad to know others besides me are thinking about these details!

          • Normal, of course :)

          • I wonder about the Twi period too, Min.
            TOO- I never thought about NDAs until I read MoTU.

  37. Oh and that copy of “Entertainment Weekly” DID have a pic of Rob in it.

    I have never felt creepier than oogling a Rob pic whilst wearing the paper gown.

    • Oh honey don’t feel bad, I had that same appointment late last year and there were a ton of mags there with Rob in it! I wanted to steal one but I had a teeny-tiny purse so I couldn’t, LOL. Won’t fit.

    • You are brilliant. Someone should put ‘fade to sad’ on a t-shirt. HINT.

  38. Snowhite, I like your fantasy much better than your reality!!!! So please keep your fantasy together girl!

    Speaking of fantasies, well I got a ton of them. I have a very active fantasy life, even when I don’t think of him(when is that?), he still shows up in my dreams. Anyway I’d like to meet him at Starbucks or Heine brothers…ok let’s make it Heine brothers because Starbucks I heard is not fairtrade and I’m a health nut so gotta go with the other one. Heine bros is a great coffeeshop, want to “bump” into him there, strike a conversation. I could “litrally” listen to him talk for hours. Sigh. I want to know what he’s thinking about, what his dreams are, everything. OK now that sounds scary right? Haha.

    A library or a bookstore would be great too(can you tell I’m kind of like a nerd?). Maybe him and I will reach for the same book at the same time….squeeeeee. And you know, hopefully we get to know each other. I might just pretend I don’t know LTR and Twilight :-). Sorry Moon and UC!

  39. BTW I think I’ll have a hard time going to the gyno if Rob was the doctor! A little too close for comfort, hahaha. And you’re right, he’s allergic to vagina anyway, it ain’t gonna work.

  40. Okay, here is a dream I had one night.
    I am on a weekend trip to LA with friends and we decided to splurge and stay in a really fancy hotel where it is a possibilty we could run into a Hollywood star. I volunteer to go to the ice machine which is down several floors from where the 6 of us are all sharing a room. While I am in the elevator, it stops on a floor and guess who walks in…okay, duh, Rob does. At first, he doesn’t want to get in the elevator with me, but he is heading somewhere so he has to get in. I am totally in control and when our eyes meet. I give him a smile and he asks me “You do know who I am.” I tell him definately but I swore I would treat any star I meet with respect and not get all crazy fan girl on him. He laughs, runs his finger through his hair and I all but melt in front of him. He looks at me again and asks “So you want to go fan girl crazy but you are in control? That is very sexy”. *flat lined* I smile and manage a head shake. The elevator stops and it is his floor to get out on. He stops and turns back to me smiles and asks how long I will be in town for. I tell him I’m here for a long weekend with friends. Again he smiles and says he appreciates me not going fan girl crazy. It looks like he wants to ask me something more….this was when my daughters decided it was time for me to get up. Fade back to reality. *sigh* Well it was a very sweet dream and one that I have come up with many different endings to. ;)

    • that was a sweet dream and I like how you’re able to behave in your dreams. :-)

    • Oh, haha, see I wake up too because of my DD, I hear “mama” on the baby monitor! Every single time too….my dream gets interrupted because of my darling child, gotta love her :-).

  41. My fantasy meeting with Rob would be something where I would be so funny and charming that he’d decide to give chubby chasing a try. Or maybe one of his floppy-haired friends would.

    Reality meeting with Rob would probably be more like that scene in Sixteen Candles when Sam works up the nerve to talk to Jake Ryan, but when he smiles at her she chickens out and runs away.

  42. Where is drsaka….I miss her!

    • I think she’s very busy at work :-(.

      • Work?! Doesn’t she have PRIORITIES?? I’m telling you. Some people. <3

  43. Here’s a visual:

    • oh, that is sooo creepy. I saved it though.

    • @ Snow..
      Re: That pic of Dr. Sparklepeen….
      HOLY SMOKIN’ SHIZZ… !! hahahaha.
      you got me good on that one!!!!wasnt expecting that.

      He looks like he wants to say “open wide”…
      (ps. where do you think he wants to put that Thermometer, in the mouth or some other oriface? ) ouch.

      good one though!

  44. I haven’t been here all day so I’ll just stop by and say some things:

    Fantasy vs. Reality is always disappointing… Fantasy is always better than reality imo. Just because you can take it into every direction (twss)

    The picture of Rob as my gyno is kind of creeping me out. Srsly. Yeah I know doc and nurse roleplay may be hot but I would rather have him as my normal doc. Not someone who checks my V***.
    Plus I don’t want him to get allergic and swell and have to rub himself on smth. Oh wait I actually want him to do the last part…

    In all this frenzy I miss my girl Melinda. Mel where are you? :(

    Melronin you still haven’t send me an e-mail with your contact info. I’ll be waiting ;-)

    Last but not least: UC I can feel your pain. I have 12 hour workdays always! And it’s freaking driving me nuts! Srsly. One needs some free time too!

    http://wp.me/pM4fl-lX

  45. wtf? FabioRob..pls don’t do that ever, ever again. remove image now! please!

  46. Sorry i’ve been a lurker, I found this site like a week ago on a fluke, my niece is a regular reader I guess…

    Anyway this letter sound so much like something my 3yr old daughter woul say I litterally was left in tears laughing so hard. Just today while in Target my daughter started what I thought was barking and she then demaned I turn and look at the display of clearance Easter candy featuring the Twilight men, she was meaning Taylor (Jacob) and I have come to find my reading and movie watching has rubbed off on her, she’s impressed Taylor can turn into a Wolf..

    …In later years I pray her good sense comes into play and she has inherited MY good taste and just thinks Rob is a dream…but i’m too old, she’s too young and he’s most likely Gay as my mom thinks..

    Ah I think i’m hooked on the LTR site, I need a good laugh in my life!

    Thank you!

  47. ahhh.. my TomStu fix for the day.. at the NYC premier of Waiting.. FINALLY!

  48. [...] came after SnowWhiteDrifted wrote a letter to Rob. "Today I will explain the procedure I'll be performing. First we'll have a rousing [...]


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