Kissing Rob Pattinson

Dear Rob,

I was having a friendly little chat with our friend @KStew411 about the craziness in the Twidom as of late & the subject of the feud between your Remember Me kiss vs your New Moon kiss came up. See, I didn’t know there was an actual feud, but apparently the voting started for the nominations for MTV Movie awards, and both of your kisses are up for a potential slot . Instead of saying “Both kisses please” like any normal person, it’s getting serious between those rooting for your New Moon kiss with Kristen & those on “Team Remember Me kiss turning-into-sex against the wall.” KStew411 made a distinction between the fans voting for your NM kiss versus the fans voting for your RM kiss and I thought it pretty accurate. So today I decide to delve deep into all the different kisses you’ve had and make up completely figure out what it means about the fans that like one kiss over another.

If your favorite kiss is from….

Twilight

You are a traditionalist that doesn’t like to try new things. Most likely THIS was your first experience with the beautiful lips of Rob Pattinson. But being a traditionalist is not necessarily a bad thing, because in this first choice of RobKiss, we have passion unlike any other. The passion shown here in this kiss is SO powerful it causes a grown man to be THROWN from the arms of his love and leaves us panting, wanting more (and will keep us wanting more for a few more years). You like the chase. You like the fade to black. You like the wait & and the angst & the tension. Basically you like giving a guy blue balls.

Or you’re a hardcore Robsten shipper. One of the two.

Little Ashes

You’re a little freaky & into a little man-on-man action from time to time. You, unlike most women out there, don’t groan when your man asks you to join him at the bar to watch a UFC fight. And you don’t just go “because they have good wings.” You get a little excited when Georges St. Pierre, in his tight short shorts, wrestles whichever guy he’s about to destroy to the ground and humps him in the name of a sport. You also write 3-way slash fan fiction about Bobby Long, Marcus Foster & Rob Pattinson. And sometimes TomStu.

New Moon

Taylor Lautner for "Almost 12"

If THIS is your favorite kiss- the one without any tongue- you’re probably between the ages of 12-15 and may possibly not have gotten your period yet. What you know of sex is from that book given to you by your mom called “Almost 12,” which teaches you that sex is the worst sin of all and features a drawing of a child coming out of a woman’s never-before-been-groomed hoo-ha and shows you a “typical 12 year old boy” who looks remarkably like Taylor Lautner.

OR the screen went out in your movie theater during the first kiss like it did for me, and you realized how pornographic the kiss sounded without the images. And you liked it:

Bad Mother’s Handbook

Nerds, Geeks, Dorks and Dweebs have always turned you on. It may not be the hottest kiss to look at, but it lights your fire like no other. You appreciate a man who looks out for you- whether it’s warning you about live cultures in frozen yogurt or spinning records at your grandma’s red hat society Saturday parties. So even if you’re still sore from having a baby and not waiting the Doctor-recommended 6 weeks to get busy, you’re willing to get down and dirty against a British bathtub with a guy in a Tommy Bahama shirt any day!

Remember Me

(First of all, let’s shower @lovelynessa on twitter with love today for THAT clip right there!)

If you love the kiss(es) from Remember Me, then you most likely spend your days dreaming up new and interesting ways that you will never have sex with Rob Pattinson. Your father may be a lunatic, but you know a man with anger issues and it turns you on. There’s also a possibility you have a food fetish- more specifically you fantasize about being taken in a big pot of pasta. Throw in a few meatballs and we have at LEAST a double orgasm night.

I myself prefer a little food action (preferably something sweet), while wearing a pair of dorky glasses & a ironic tshirt with a little tension and reserve, ending up in a shower scene with a soundtrack similiar to the sound bite from New Moon above!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What about you!? Vote on your favorite kiss below! (Yes, I just let you pick one. I’m so cruel)

What kisses did I miss? Like the kissing in The Summer House (Does he date rape her!?)

Don’t forget about The Biggest Loser in the Forum: Start losing April 5th!!

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