Posted by: UC | February 9, 2010

Never thought I’d say this: Breaking down Rob’s purchase of underwear, vanity fair style

Dear Rob,

You didn’t think you could go underwear shopping with TomStu and NOT have us post the pics and break them down vanity fair style, did you!? [Oh and you'll notice we have a new feature called "EDUCATIONAL MOMENT" Where we stop and pose a REALLY important question about Britain/UK and life across the big pond. If you'd like to pipe in or one of our readers is from the UK/England/Britain (are they the same place!) please educate us in the comments so that we can learn much more about you!]

The one where they get caught in the porn section

Moon: ok so obviously they’re screwed cause they got caught in the porno section of the video store. Tom was like, “dude Rob come over here and look at this new one! It’s called “New Poon!” And the dude looks like YOU”
UC: Rob’s like “I saw that last night” and he gets royalties every time it’s sold
Moon: Yep! 5 cents every time someone gets off! If we had the same deal on this site we’d be rich!
UC: Then there’s Prince Henry over there.. what do you think he’s looking for?
Moon: The Queen will be SOOO sad
UC: especially cuz he’s renting a porn called “The Queen gets knighted”
Moon: and its a Helen Mirren look alike, so it’s essentially like he’s watching the porno version of The Queen (talk about some nana issues)
UC: Seriously. I mean. They ARE in the porn section. Why ELSE would they have things covered in plastic? There is no other reasonable explanation. Furthermore, they look like VHS tapes which makes sense… Rob being so technologically-incompetent. He probably hasn’t jumped on board with the whole DVD craze yet
Moon: do you think they’re the type of friends who would watch those tapes together?
UC: Yes. I think so.
Moon: in rob’s parents basement? DO they HAVE basements in the UK?
UC: EDUCATIONAL TIME (UK friends- do you have basements? Help us learn more about Rob in the comments!)
UC: I think they have 3 day porn, heineken, hot pocket and no shower binges
Moon: they’ve got a couple of Dick and Clare’s old lay-z-boys down there
UC: Yep. both with grease spots on the top where their head sits
Moon: Poor Clare gave up asking them to shower and wash their hair and instead just puts hand crocheted doilies over the head rest to hide the grease

Read the rest of the break down, after the jump!

Rob likes organic socks!?

Moon: from the next picture we see a WALL of socks, but it also has porno!
UC: they look like some WOOL socks too. Like speciality socks for hiking or maybe some organic socks?
Moon: I mean we can go for the obvious joke here, but what video store/best buy sells socks?
UC: Maybe… this is like Britain’s version of Whole foods? They sell wool, organic and hemp socks, and porn…. since it’s important to jack off regularly to stay healthy?
Moon: is this like a Target or WalMart of the UK? And look how many pairs he has in his hands! Damn. Stocking up for a major session
UC: Well, he noticed the stench during the last 3 day porn/hot pocket/Heineken binge and didn’t want that to happen again so…he just decided to get some new ones. Throw out the old and while he was out he robbed a store back in 1986 and got that jacket
Moon: seriously the jacket is new. must have paid a hobo outside a buck for that
UC: It kinda even looks… clean..
Moon: Rob is really into the striped underwear but doesn’t want to get wedgies from Kellan when they film BD, so he went with black
UC: Right. Black is practical
Moon: even though I secretly hoped he got striped tights. It helps make him LESS hot. and anything that helps make him LESS hot is good in my book
UC: you’re right. Makes it easier to forget that we’re not with him and never will be and have a normal life. Less hot is good (just like green)
and let’s be honest. He’s REALLY rocking the “less hot” look. especially in that jacket. He looks HEAVY…. like heavier than he really is, even with his added poundage for bel ami
Moon: when we have a hot threesome (cause he LOVES hot bloggers) we can act surprised when we see the striped pair make an appearance. the stripes will be our ONLY saving grace
UC: he’ll know….. he knows they’re our fav

The one where people in big jackets aren’t trustworthy

UC: So… it looks like they’re picking up a Wii? In this odd British Walmart/Target Organic Whole Foods? That also sells hemp socks, porn & video games?
Moon: this SO has to be a best buy or Costco where they check your receipt before you leave, since they totally look like shop lifters. I mean that jacket could hold like 5 sets of striped tighties, 10 socks and at least 5 copies of New Poon
UC
: and are those CDs that Rob is browsing by the check out? Like really? Rob has a Disc-Man? that’s a little high-tech.. After only having a VHS to play his porn.. Oh, they totally don’t trust him. Just last week some dude with that EXACT same jacket ripped them off with 3 pair of wool socks plus a copy of “The Queen gets Knighted.” It WAS the same jacket. It was the hobo Rob paid $1 for his jacket
Moon
: I worked retail- you don’t trust people in big weird jackets. The security guard had to shake them down. They don’t care WHO he is
UC: is that Tom? with those skinny legs? cuz his face looks different. maybe it’s because we can basically SEE into his nostril
Moon: did Rob take off his beard from the Haiti telethon and give it to Tom to wear
UC: yes, I think so
Moon: since it was obviously a stick on. he’s into disguises now
UC: yeah- he had Jackson FEDex him his new moon wig. Do you think that guy behind them recognizes him?
Moon: oh for sure his wife/gf/sister has the posters. Plus he checked their receipt just to make sure
UC: he’s like “thats the kid from Pirate radio!”
Moon: and then patted down TomStu just so he could make his gf/wife/sister jealous
UC: “that other guy must be a charity case he’s taken on”
Moon: TomStu is clearly the bigger star. He WAS in Vanity Fair! What red blooded englishman hasnt seen that?!

The one where we’re uber stalkers

UC: What does Tom’s bag say?
Moon: someone said it’s M&S
UC: Googling- Marks & Spencer
Moon: OHHH yea someone said M&S is totally like Khols or Mervyns.
UC: haha OMG- Rob is at the british version of Khols
Moon: Remember when we did that breaking it down for the Pattinson family/house/car pics?? We SAID they were going to KHOLS. We know him so well!!! I  think I might love them even more now!
UC: They’re so normal. Rob & TomStu- THEY’RE JUST LIKE US!

The one where we forget that they don’t accept dollars in the UK

Moon: dude in that next picture of the stripes…are SLIPS brit for underwear?? And are those panties Rob is buying FOUR dollars?!
UC: that’s CHEAP
Moon: he’s buying 4 dollar drawers! He’s SO gonna chaff
UC: haha… SERIOUSLY. There’s no way they’re pure cotton.. Those bad boys are a stiff as a … well, …stiff “slips”

You KNOW you wanna zoom!

Moon: They’re probably the fruit of the loom of the UK. Dude zoom in on that and get a look at the model
UC: OMG! They’re BRIEFS! He’s looking at them… thinking, “can I do this!?”
Moon: he’s really contemplating those tighties. Don’t DO IT ROB!!
UC: Thinking, “wow… Is that Kellan?”
Moon: don’t DO IT!!! and No!!! IT’s TAYLOR. At least Kellan is on Calvin Kleins. Taylor did this for Fruit of the Loom like 2 years ago

Moon: can you imagine someone taking a picture of you while looking at panties at target?!
UC: I’d die cause #1 I don’t get panties at target
Moon: I would SO pick up the granny panties- like the BIGGEST pair and hold them up
UC: yes- I wish he sauntered into the XL woman’s section. I’d inspect the crotch for the camera. Sniff some boxers. Make a face. Buy them anyway.
Moon: I always thought he was more a boxers type of man. Or even boxer briefs. Who still wears briefs??
UC: Right. Or a “nothing” type of man. but I definitely thought boxer briefs
Moon: Rob needs to go to the beach and wear the borat (swimsuit) We’d see way more of his down south grooming habits (or lack thereof) than we ever wanted to know
UC: lack there of FOR SURE
Moon: I have guy friends who are meticulous mans-capers and I feel like Rob doesn’t even know what that word is
UC: EDUCATIONAL MOMENT: Do British guys mans-cape? We mean the straight ones?

The one where Rob is a big spender

Moon: Ok so in this last picture the security guard let them out after he patted them down… he found out he defs wears briefs. Dude- Rob is wearing a NEW jacket, has like 20 packs of new undies and socks. This is like a major shopping spree! He must have spent like at least 25 bucks!
UC: at LEAST
Moon: his bank called cause they were alarmed he spent more than 6 dollars at a clothing store. FRAUD ALERT!!
UC: I mean… he probably got one of those “spent $25 get $5 off your next visit ” coupons. Do you think he opened a Mervyns/Khols/British version of those stores credit card?
Moon: oh for sure he would have gotten 10% of his purchase for the day- making it 22 dollars total
UC: He found out Tuesday is Sr. Citizens day and Dick qualifies so… he’s probably going back today
Moon: get Dick some new underroos!! So now Roband TomStu are off with bags full of underwear, porn,socks and a newspaper- that’s a good weekend right there!
UC: we won’t be seeing them until at least next Monday when they run out of Hot pockets. The freezer only holds so many….
Moon: And that’s when Marks & Spencer has their half off red tag sale- they’ll stock up on undershirts then
UC: Exactly. Rob is hoping to try out the sleeveless kind. He’ll pass his hand me downs to TomStu . He doesn’t have money to fork out $12ish bucks for a few new ones. He’ll be fine with Rob’s hand-me-downs. Even if they do have yellowish pits

Moon: It’s sad day when TomStu is looking hotter than rob
UC: Well, not a sad day for TomStu !
Moon: he usually looks like a homeless 12 yr old boy
UC: that lady behind him is coming over tonight
Moon: she’s a BIG briefs fan
UC: Joke is on her though- he really just wants to make her an offer for her jacket- It’s a valentines gift for Rob

Any chance you need someone to give an opinion on how the new briefs look!? You know where to find us!

Love,
UC & Moon

Have you entered our Valentine’s Day Contest yet!? Don’t forget you have ALL week to send in your ideas and you could win awesome prizes from: Bella Bejeweled, Dwell Deep, Jeweled Ambrosia & Lobotome.

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Responses

  1. [...] LTR ;   LTT ;   RAoR ;   Rmw [...]

  2. HAHAHAH
    thanks for the new pictures girls!
    Happy you have smth to break down vanity fair style again!!!

  3. Amazing. Just.. amazing. This is actually (gasp!) the only site I really come to for my Rob fix, so thanks for keeping me up to date :)

    And this. This was my thought exactly:
    Moon: It’s sad day when TomStu is looking hotter than rob
    UC: Well, not a sad day for TomStu !
    Moon: he usually looks like a homeless 12 yr old boy

    • ****gasp

      What’d you say girl????? Rob looks hot, in his cleaner, hobo way (L)…..TomStu does too (but not hotter).

    • We talked about this with my girls yesterday and we came to the conclusion that he just looks better because of the peacoat… it’s so edwardish you know? hahahhaha
      I am happy I got my dose of drug so I’ll take what I get.

    • *****gasp

      what’d you say girl???? Rob totes looks hotter in his clean-er, hobo-ish way, minus the jean jacket (L), TomStu does too (but not hotter)….

      • I sear I’m not a traitor! I just can’t deal with the jacket. Clean(ish) or not, it’s gotta go.
        If he had TomStu’s peacoat though, like Bella said, that would be an entirely different story..

        • and by ‘sear’ I do mean swear.
          it’s early.

      • Misty, where have you beeneeeeeen?!?!?!

    • I gotta say, BeardRob is way hotter than BeardStu. But if Rob would just borrow TomStu’s peacoat… *thud*

      • That’s exactly my thoughts. I don’t like the jeans jacket at all. I want Rob in some black leather jacket or a pea coat…

  4. Although porn is the more interesting choice, you don’t think they are looking at COMIC BOOKS, do you? Maybe seeing if Rob’s new one is out? I can’t think of what else is wrapped in plastic…we need a UK commenter stat.

    Also, who the hell has a jean jacket with plaid built into the collar? Rob, that’s who.

    • to me in the first pic, they are looking at Xbox video games…I dunno…

      • yeh you can see the little xbox logo on the side of the dvds.
        the fact that he bought briefs is the first and only turn off i’ve had for rob since i first saw twilight!!!!!
        i love how happy he looks tho hanging out with tom stu, love hobo rob now that the bead has been tamed!!

        • beard obviously

      • Totally video games. I agree.

        • perhaps “Super Mario, the original version”!lol

      • Yeah those are definitely XBox 360 games – one actually looks like it might be Grand Theft Auto. Why does it turn me on to think of those two in their Marks & Spencer boxer briefs (which, BTW, Rob bought in size L – uh, ok, SUUUUURRRRRRE Rob ;) ) with Heineken every where going around stealing cars & picking up hookers in GTA?

    • “..who the hell has a jean jacket with plaid built into the collar? Rob, that’s who.”

      That’s our man!!

    • I voted comics too! I guess I was typing my post when yours went up, ’cause I thought I was so clever coming up with that on my own.

  5. I hope they stocked up on the new Hot Pockets-you know, the ones with cheese stuffed crust. ‘Cause there wasn’t enough cheese in regular ones.

    • superhumanmoron youre back!!!

  6. Briefs?! I’m rethinking my Rob love right now.

    And there is NO way he manscapes. Rob is so incredibly hairy. It’s got to be like the Amazon rainforest down there.

    • Even though your are probably 100% right—I’m going to pretend your not.

    • Gross. I just got a Ron Jeremy vision running through my head. Must go poke out my minds eye now, thanks.

    • NO manscapes! :-)

    • I like him hairy :-). I like au naturel.

      • What??? You changed your avi??? I’m thinking Sasquatch for the fur.

    • Yes. Hairy Rob for the win!

    • The Amazon! I’m getting out my little machete right now and going exploring!

      • Ooh, wait, was that a spider monkey?

      • Exotic hard wood? I hope it’s sustainablly farmed.

        • T.O.O.
          I bow to your comment about “exotic hard wood.”

          lion

      • No, it wasn’t hard wood, it was an anaconda.

      • Somebody take my machete and pith helmet away and stop me.

      • Sorry, I missed the thumbs up and fumbled you a thumbs down instead!
        I so cracked up at the thought of you swinging your tiny machete!! :-)

    • I love me some rain forest. The Amazon Basin has amazingly rich biodiversity. Who knows what kind of critters we’d find therein! Sorry–too gross?
      I see T.O.O. has already embarked.
      Save the Amazon!
      That would be a “no” on the manscaping.That would be some f*cked up sh*t.

      • I also “just say no” to manscaping. Real men should be hairy. (Just not back hair, ’cause that makes me gag a little.)

        • Oh, SO agreed!

          • Ummm. Not sure why I’ve got a new avi. Rather like my other one. My comment also had to be moderated. Did I key in something incorrectly? Just checking. No big deal, just didn’t know I was getting a make-over. :)

    • Didn’t we see “down there” with the tuck in L.A. and there was no need for manscaping…or was there?

      • no need ..or no need ???
        Anyway….NO NEED!

  7. I live in the UK and I have a basement. Lots of early 1900s terrace houses have them in industrial towns. Mine is creepy as.

    My ex manscaped. He also chest and eyebrow waxed, fake tanned… there’s a reason why he’s ‘ex’.

    These two UK education points make for a weird comment.

    • Yeah here in UK we do have SOME basements, but they’re not like humungous airy vistas like yours are. Ours are brick lined, small, very cold & full of spiders.

      I didn’t even know what manscape meant – geekmagnet, is your ex gay? Or does he like to be just a little bit fabulous? Most British men would rather lose a limb than manscape…my husband wouldn’t even get the concept. He’s got that authentic crumpled lived-in Brit look.

      M&S is a middle-class reatiler that makes all its own stuff. Amazingly, today, I am not wearing M&S knickers…95% of my knickers come from there. It’s like a religion here. One that no-one mentions. They do fab multi-packs…5 for £8 or whatever, depending on the item.

      I think the Wii stuff is in a record shop…you won’t find that in Marks & Sparks.

      Enough from your British contingent.
      Pip pip.

      • I love your comment about the missing “concept of manscape”! So true!

      • Now putting “buy undies at M&S like Rob” whilst on my trip. I might have to put it in code in case my husband finds the list in our guidebook.

        • Don’t forget lunch at a Nando’s!

        • Do you take your husband to London to distract TomStu?

      • Oh I LOVED M&S whilst I was over in the UK. Best store ever. I, too, have about a million pairs of knickers from there. And socks. Ooh, and an awesome purple umbrella. And these saprkly purple shoes… But I digress.
        Anyway, when they’re lookingat the dvd/xbox games, I’m pretty sure they’re in HMV. At least, it says so on the bottom of the sign.
        Sigh. I love to see Rob shopping at places that I have shopped at. Makes me feel so much closer to him in a stalkerish, alternate reality kinda way.

  8. You know, I just feel in love with him all over again….even after all the money he has made, he still buys his underoos, video games and socks at Wall-Mart….I heart him right fow for keeping his feet on the ground…..*sigh.

    • yeh i totally agree. so cute him goin to marks and sparks for his essentials, there’s no bullshit when it comes to rob, he could have an entire entourage at his beck and call but he’s normal and grounded.

      • Marks and Sparks !!! I bet they’re re-naming the store since his sparkliness shopped there.

        • Marks & Sparks is a common nickname for our dear M&S.

    • i agree! he’s still a cheap bastard after all the millions he makes. I <3 him even more after this little shopping exatravaganza….

      NOTICE: the underwear are actually a 5 PACK!! That means 5 pair for 4 pounds!!

  9. What are the chances that they’re gonna spend Valentine’s Day together?
    I’m thinking pretty good.

    • all that underwear and xbox games shopping was for Valentine’s day.

      • girl…I mean…do you think he brought all the briefs and socks….for “HER”??? omg
        That’s a totally new perspective …. :-)

        • especially the socks

          • Robgirl, bite your tongue (or finger, since you typed).
            I’ve had that thought and refused to acknowledge it since I saw these yesterday.

          • who’s HER?? i thought she meant TomStu. DUH

  10. That was hilarious, once again!

    But i hate to burst your bubble – they were looking at xbox games, not porn. maybe they were buying the twilight scene it game. or does that only come on wii?

  11. HILAR! You two crack me up something chronic!

    Rob & TomStu do seem really normal. I nearly died when I saw these pics, I’m just about to go to M&S msyelf to grab some lunch (they do posh food!), and I’m in London, why couldn’t I have run into him yesterday?! SO UNFAIR.

    I think he got his undies from M&S, which is SO SWEET as it’s the type of place your Mum bulk buys your underwear for your when you’re a kid or coming home from Uni and she thinks you’ll probably need new kecks. The CD shop is a different shop, HMV.

    I’m here for your education needs.

    Re: Man-scaping – I have not ever seen any evidence of this myself!
    Re: basements – some older places in London have them, if you have a townhouse there is probably a basement, mostly I think people use them for storage, they are not that common I don’t think.

    What the hell was Prince Harry doing in HMV?

    • OMG you’re in London!!! Could say the same : so unfair! Now go stalking! Goooooooo! And watch out at M&S, you never know how Rob lost his keys or smth and is looking for them on the floor between the socks and the underwear.
      P.S. You know Harry was there to educate them in the art of buying coloured underpants, right?

    • Why can I never just bump into HHH whilst I’m popping into get some Miso soup of a lunchtime??? Sure saw some progidy member a couple of weeks ago but big woops!?
      Plus major depression set in this wknd as I was having dinner/drinks 1 street away from the groucho on Friday. I think I preferred it when he was in lala land.

      • I’ve only been close to the Rob for like 24 h and it was mentally exhausting. Can’t imagine months and months. But that didn’t prevent me from really considering a job offer in London payed less than the one I have in a cheaper Europen city. Finally came to my senses. But hey, he’s still here for a while, so…everything is possible.

        • 2.5 hrs on eurostar! That’s all I’m sayin.

          • And that’s all I’m thinking of.

        • MP-‘been close to the Rob for like 24 h’ what are you saying???? telltell

          • When he was in Paris for NM.
            Of course he was here for Twilight as well, and may I say KStewless, but at the time I just thought he was some stupid Zack guy. Turned out I was the stupid in the story.

          • just not yet under his spell.

      • I hear you!

        I think we need a support group!

        “Women Who Are In The Same Vicinity As HHH And Still Have Not Seen Him In The Flesh.”

        Seriously – the simple fact that he was wandering around town yesterday and so was I is almost nauseating!

        • I can feel your pain……and ME is in the support group as well!!

        • Let’s do it! Let’s just do it!
          P.S. I love it how you have stuff to do frequently in London, Barnes…

    • I LOVE London! …for several reasons :-) <3

  12. omg what a ditz I am….I just realized I spelled my email wrong now my comments are “awaiting moderation”….this is my punishment for being AWOL the last 4 days I guess…

  13. Rob,

    I know a guy who goes to London just to buy underwear because he doesn’t want to be seen buying it in France and he’s not even half as famous as you are.
    I love you for going shopping in “RobStu formula” and buying (crappy) comfortable underwear in probably one of the cheapest store in the middle of London. And all of the sudden, the shiteous underwear is all I want to see. Dunno if it’s hot but don’t even care, it’s just hilarious.
    Would you please let us know all the good jokes you’re doing now about the pics?

    Love, really,
    Me

    • I also thought he was a boxers or nothing kinda guy, and I refuse to think of any other possibility!!!

      And I’m relieved he buys his underwear himself and doesn’t let Clare handle the shopping. But he had Tom for any advice.

      Rob, you know you could have called me. I can be there in 2 hours.

      Also ever since that Laura Culppepper interview I was frustrated with one thing: why didn’t she ask details about him getting underpants. Now my life is complete.

      • “And I’m relieved he buys his underwear himself and doesn’t let Clare handle the shopping”
        YES – that’s the part that really threw me! I had him figured out as a “my mom buys my underwear” type of guy for sure.. ;-)

        • They went to Nando’s to celebrate first time buying underwear.

          • lol

    • I LOVE your addition of ” Komma …really”!
      muah…a kiss!

      • muah back, just not with the tongue, OK?

        • Rob,
          the end of our faker love story (for today)
          I’ll gonna kiss a girl (without tongue)
          great Rob, really great!
          thanks to you and your socks-story!
          me

          P.S. 2.15 h!!! :-)

  14. I freakin’ love a Vanity Fair break down…it makes my whole day better.

    “ok so obviously they’re screwed cause they got caught in the porno section of the video store. Tom was like, “dude Rob come over here and look at this new one! It’s called “New Poon!” And the dude looks like YOU”—Brilliant!

    Love the new Educational section….can’t wait to hear what our British lovies have to say!!!

  15. you girls are just too funny! I can’t even decide which lines to quote. I am going to reread after I post so I can LOL to myself at my kitchen table.

    Here’s my question for the Educational Moment: is underwear (translation in British: undahpahnts) shopping with another guy “that’s normal” in the UK? Cause that is kinda a no-no in the US, as far as I know. My husband just rolled his eyes when I asked him and said, “MG, (well, he calls me by my real name) this just in. Your boyfriend is gay.”

    And I have to admit, shopping for new skivvies is an odd activity to do with your “friend” unless they are a “very special kind of friend.” Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I don’t care which team he prefers. I’d just tell him, sweety, close your eyes and think of whomever you want, just like the rest of us do ;-)

    And my guess for the plastic wrapped stuff in the first picture – the BFFs are buying comic books. The porn mags come in paper bags. Its the collectible comics that come in plastic. Maybe they are getting the issue of Batman & Robin they missed last year when they were both working so that they could do a little “role play” when they get back to the basement.

    • Sweety, close your eyes and think of whomever you want, like the rest of us do…

      TRUTH!

      • And we know who “whomever” is, don’t we?

    • I was wondering about this whole scenario. So Rob and TomStu are sitting around in Clare’s basement, drinking their Heines, and getting a little bored and restless. Tom says, “Things are getting too dull–I haven’t seen a paparazzi in days.” Rob says, ” I know, let’s go to Marks & Spencer and shop for tighty whities, maybe we could even hold hands, and then let’s run back here and time how long it takes to reach the internet.” They giggle as they put on their matching beanies, and fight over who gets to wear the jean jacket with plaid collar, and then Tom says, “ready, set, go!”

      • LOL TOO. I could see them totally doing that…

      • plus they just wanted to have some fun on LTR.

        • although TomStu might have strongly suggest it, he had enough of Rob wearing his boxers. Life is tough when you do nekkid photshoots, impossible to get free underwear.

          But really thinking of it, I wouldn’t be surprised if the stock of suitable appropriate black boxer briefs aren’t especially bought for Bel-Ami. He didn’t want to be in bed with Uma with his old fav. boxers with the Simpsons.

          • LOL MP, The Simpsons. O.M.G.!

          • I wonder where he left/lost all his underwear…I picture a mountain of lost Edward/Tyler/TomStu underwear somewhere in the hotels all over the world….

    • I’m not sure Rob gets to go out shopping on his own these days…I’m sure TomStu is getting body guard fees. Didn’t they used to be flatmates? I’m sure he’s seen Rob’s dirty pants all the place..shopping for new ones just wouldn’t seem that bad. Besides, M&S has a curiously neutralising effect when you’re in there…

    • THANK YOU!!! My thoughts exactly. My gay guy friends would have no problem shopping for underwear together. But straight guys? I asked my two teenage sons if they’d shop for underwear with their guy friends and they both gave me the stink eye, LMAO!

      And LOL about buying them for Uma. You’re probably right!

  16. what are organic socks? Are thes the kind you can eat. Are they grown in natural poop? Porn hot pockets now that is kind iof a new product.

    http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/

    • Organic socks are a 100 % bio-degradable, they need never be washed, they just naturally ferment on your feet and disappear into the air as tiny water drops, taking all bad odour with them. Perfect for a guy who doesn’t know how to use a laundry basket! :-)

  17. Harvey Nichols Rob ? nah M&S I LOVE him for that.

    Basements not common at all mainly old houses you woudn’t sit in it for pleasure just store junk.

    Manscaping no not as a rule – But some places do offer a back, sack and crack wax yes just sit back and think about the areas being waxed it makes my eyes water and I am a girl !!!

    • back, sack and crack – that is awful! I think the US was using that at Gitmo before Obama got elected.

      • You made me laugh very hard.

  18. I think Rob’s jean jacket is cute! Sort of.

    You gotta admit it’s better than some he wears…

    • Yes it’s kind of cute. Everything looks good on him.

    • Exactly! Namely, the green pleather varsity jacket he wore for NM junket to Tokyo.

      • NOT.

  19. Shopping at Marks&Spencer will be a whole new experience from now on! We had that chain here in Belgium for a while, but apparently sales never took off so they were closed down. Guess Belgians are snobby like French people about their underwear. Who else thinks it’s totally adorable they shop for underwear together? I do.

    • Totally adorable!!! And Fr. people (gals) are snobbish about underwear. But now I’m determined to go to H&M or Monoprix and buy organic panties even though you can wear them once since they go from xs to xl in like 5 seconds.

      • haha…so true…from xs to xl in like 5 seconds….after washing them for 2 times….same for t-shirts!

    • I am quite the snob, but you CANNOT beat marks and sparks for undies, I’d be lost without them, and their sticky buns from the food hall. (Twss)

  20. I see London
    I see France
    I see Robert’s underpants!!!!

    As soon as I saw these pics yesterday, I knew we were in for a treat on LTR!!

    I’ll bet, Rob and Tom were like,
    “Dude, Let’s buy undies out in public and see how Moon and UC break it down!”
    “They’re HILAR!”
    “Totes! I’ll call and tip off the paps.”
    “This. Is. Gonna. Be. GREAT!”

    • Now we can ALL say we’ve seen Rob’s pants!! AWESOME.

      • yes!!!!!!!!! it’s a historical moment! I might shed a tear, that’s how moved I am right now.

    • well said heine gal ; )

    • yeh he must have known how that would whip the paps and the fandom into a frenzy him buying his smalls!!

  21. New Poon? I have never giggled so hard!

    And I can’t believe you zoomed in on the underwear! Eeeeeew! I don’t want to picture Rob wearing black & purple striped briefs! I’ll picture boxers, thanks.

    I thought the guy behind them when they’re looking at video games was his body guard (Dean/Steve’s UK equivalent?).

    I dunno. I’m gonna disagree with you. Beanie hobo denim jacket Rob looks good to me. Happy and relaxed. TomStu must be good for him. TomStu in peacoat=win.

    I just spent the last 4 days reading Bel Ami. I’m so rooting for Rob on this. What a lit if pressure on him. Go, Rob!

    • Meant “bit of pressure” iPhone fail.

    • Yay! I’m reading Bel Ami too, can’t wait to see Rob as Georges and all that sex, just hope it’s not as subtle as in the book! Next on my list is Water for Elephants – if the rumours are true.

      • excited to see rob as Georges, but am praying he does Water for Elephants!! He’ll make a PERFECT Jacob…fantastic story…it’ll be a great test of his acting skills :) I cant picture anyone but him in that role.

      • Hi JulieP~

        In the Bel Ami screen play, the sex does not seem subtle. Just sayin.

        lion

        • ML, can you pm me with a link to the screenplay? I’d love to read it now that I’ve read the book.

          • TLG,
            I’d love to, but I’m at work and I don’t have it here…can someone please send youngerthanuma the B.A. screenplay.

            Thanks,
            lion

    • I order Bel Ami on my Kindle last night and Amazon shows you what else people bought who bought Bel Ami. It was Twilight, and Water for Elephants. I definitley felt connected to the fandom at that moment. Rob could rival Oprah in a book club compettition. If I were an author, I’d just get him to carry my book around.

      • I know, I totally felt like a loser buying the book in the bookstore. Like, “Um, hi, I don’t read 19th century French literature unless a really hot 23yo British guy is playing the character in a movie.”

      • Heidi; you’re so right!
        The Rob Pattinson Book Club. This HAS to happen. Also quite sure Rob would be quite into that idea. Well, maybe. He could start his own site for it ;-)

  22. [...] LTR ;   LTT ;   RAoR ;   Rmw [...]

  23. BUUUUUUUUUUAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHA

    Amazing as usual… the BD of the pics is so hilarious!

    I really dont think he manscape… tho I never thought that I will see him buying underwear and socks… anything can happen… and it seems like he bought enough for a month so Clare doesnt have to worry about his laundry…

    And I have to say that I love the blue shoelaces on TomStu shoes!

  24. Ew, no briefs please… but his eyelashes in that picture… swoon. I would prefer the peacoat in lieu of the jean jacket, but at least he looks clean and, more importantly, HAPPY. Yay Rob! You got a break from The Stew and got to hang out with your friend… Sorry that we’re all ga-ga over these intrusive pictures, we miss you and are so glad that you’re happy and having fun and living an almost-normal life. I mean, buying socks & underwear? What could be more pedestrian?

    • What JennB33 said.

  25. Uhh, UC? Who’s Prince Henry?

    • Thank you!!! I was wondering when someone was gonna say something! HAHA!!

    • UC! Stop thumbs-downing me! I’m just joshin’ ya!

    • OK, nerd award of the day: Harry is a nickname for the prince. Actual name: Henry Charles Albert David. Age 25 and really cute.

      • Really? I’ll be dipped.

      • Cute? Really?

  26. Where is the beard??I kinda miss it.

    I love Rob a little more for shopping at Marks & Spencer. I’ d think less of him if he bought expensive, frou frou underwear, or worse, had a lackey go out and buy him expensive, frou frou underwear. Not our Rob-he takes TomStu and goes out in full view of the paps to buy his undies. And I don’t think he wears briefs-if he bought them, there will be pics tomorrow of him returning them. Obviously a mistake.

    I’m just glad to see Rob reunited with his one true love. T.S. + R.P 4ever.

    • What dazzeled said.
      Love him even more for that!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love him even more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Minuit…it’s just me or are you feeling “especially-in-love” today??? You sound so “happy”…lol

        • Remember all I’ve said about “Rob, i don’t really care anymore, i don’t want to care, it’s pathetic” well…forget it. Today I feel 14.

          • Here it’s the opposite….I care PLUS me is feeling like 114!

          • Well this posting does do strange things on my laptop…the world is against me today…I guess…..so minuit…what I really wanted to say…..is….. :-)

  27. Hey girls!
    I have to share this. Some Robporn right at the end of the post… Detail-magazine inspired manip but it’s great!!

    http://thecoldshower.wordpress.com/2010/02/09/robs-baaack/

    • Wow. OMG! Have no words!!!!!!

    • i hate manips but the last one…….

  28. I’m coming out of lurking just this once for educational purpose…

    As Sleeeigh said already the DVD/game photos are from HMV and yes, it is common practice in UK to wrap them in plastic and attach a black security tag to prevent stealing. I guess another way would be to keep empty covers on the shelf and sell the product from behind-the-counter?

    Awww, Rob. M&S is for food, not for clothes. You should know this! I’d shop online at BeCheeky ;)

    Basements… Some town-houses have them but they are not that common.

    Going back to lurking…

    • I feel very educated. thank you :)

    • up north (england) they are called ‘cellars’ and quite a few of the old terrace house have them. They are not used for recreational purposes, but were once for storing coal, there would be a shoot from the outside that would send the coal down into the cellar (separate part of cellar). Rest of cellar generally used to scare the hell out of the kids if misbehaving…though really for storing any old crap that you couldn’t part with or wouldn’t fit in the loft.

  29. Am I the only sad person who googled Duke of York pubs in London to try and figure out just where they were shopping?!?
    I thought I was starting to get over my Robsession. Haven’t commented for a while now. Just scanned the posts, still v. funny. Then you top it all with this. Love that Rob is so normal
    I was in London last week, in Hammersmith, just a spit away from Barnes. I had to force myself not to take a detour.
    They’ve all been answered but my tuppence: yes we have basements in older houses; man-scaping I’ve never seen on a straight guy.
    England is part of Great Britain along with Wales and Scotland; add in Northern Ireland and you’ve got the United Kingdom.

  30. I love when y’all break it down.

    Where the HELL does Rob even BUY those jackets? Dude loves him some denim. Maybe he is testing out the clothes for Wrangler cause they want him to be the new spokesperson…I mean, apparently Dale Earnhart, Jr and Brett Favre aren’t working.

    • Wrangler! Win!

  31. I love you guys but…
    1. You know it’s spelled ‘kohl’s’ right? And yes, m&s is kind of more like target…
    2. Those are xbox games, not porn.
    I like your wishful thinking, though.

    • have you never read a breaking it down VF style before Marah? We don’t care about minut details like correct facts & spelling! And thankfully i DON’T know how to spell kohls. khols. klohs.. :)

      • porn all the way, he was looking for fanfic adaptations. TomStu may or may not audition for further adaptations.

  32. I love how in that last picture Rob is holding that m&s carrier just like my hubster! Why can blokes just not hold the handles at the top of the bag??

  33. Marks and Spencer’s (known also as M&S, Markies, Sparkies) is the best for underwear, it really is. I stock pile when I return home and it is cotton all the way. Gotta say, it is better than Target etc for underwear/tights and trust me, I love Target. Their food hall is also fabulous, I highly recommend their classic egg ‘n’ cress sarnie for lunch!

    In terms of the 4 pounds, that’s approx $7 and still a good deal. M&S floundered a few years ago by alienating their traditional shoppers (think older ladies in cardigans) and re-launched themselves to compete with the likes of Next, H&M, Zara, etc in terms of price.

    They are a British institution, a bit like fish ‘n’chips ;) Without that store, you may as well remove the *Great* from Great Britain (yes, as peeps have pointed out already that is Scotland, England, Wales & Northern Ireland, the United Kingdom of Great Britain)

    Have I really written all this about M&S?! Oh and they also have a plentiful supply of tweed in the gents department :)

    x

    • I didn’t know about the panties but their food hall is great!

    • Apparently you an Rob have the stockpiling underwear in common. That’s just so cute Cazza girl!

      I guess going to a new film shoot is like going on vacation. You always buy new underpants before you go.

      Makes packing so much easier.

      • Word!

  34. You’ll be delighted to know that the paparazzi grabbed shots that fortunately prove that Rob is not a briefs man.

    He purchased boxer-briefs. In black. Like tons of them. He’ll never have to do laundry again.

    They even zoomed in on the photo so we can be totally creepy.

    I, for one, am pleased that Rio-style striped briefs aren’t on that tushy. Phew.

    http://bauergriffinonline.com/2010/02/robert-pattinsons-underpants-f.php

    • OMG. You just pointed out to me that Rob wears EXACTLY the same underwear as my husband! The same underwear that I have peeled off him a zillion times & lovingly chucked across the room before…well, you get it.
      I am going to laugh all the way to work now.

      Q. Do I tell my husband this?

      • Same here girlfriend!

        • Hey – now we’ll have something in common with Kristen ;)

  35. Great post!

    Rest assured Rob IS a “Boxer Briefs” man!! (there were other pics)

    • O. M. G. !!! Are there any others??? I think I love you for all that intimate detail I’ve been dying to know, although I’ll pretend he bought this for the premiere and other suit occasion. He doesn’t want the Oscars’ accident to happen again. BUt in my mind, casual Rob wears boxers!!! I wouldn’t go with “he wears nothing” considering he has 2 pairs of trousers.

      • Min, 2 questions: what happened at the Oscars? And do you have a link to the pics???

        • apparently he went totally commando….but no link.. sorry

          • Gaaaaah Really?
            Well here is a link for both of you. It’s been pimped around a bit, but just incase you missed it. Zoom, baby, zoom!

            http://twitpic.com/su1tr

          • Jules Oh. My. Gawwd!!! LMAO!!!
            I think I didn’t learn so much important things in loooong loong years at university as I did today here!!!
            can’t find the Oscars pic, sorry, there was a video on you tube at one point, but this one is bigger ew, better!!! Thanks.

    • Oh thank God. Really. I was having a big problem with the briefs. Boxer briefs are good. I can live with that!

    • Thesabstar1,

      Thanks!

      I think Rob is eyeing some pretty bad shoes in this photo. Don’t do it, Rob.

      BlackboxerRob or commandoRob works…either way.

      Sorry to invade your privacy, Rob.

      • “Sorry to invade your privacy, Rob.”

        I feel the same way. I just looked at the photos on the other site, and the one of him biting into his food? I mean, c’mon. I felt too pervy and had to close out. As much as I love dissecting his activities, part of me thinks it would really suck for people to take pictures of you buying your undies and eating. No one looks good eating. But it was nice finger porn.

        • “But it was nice finger porn?”

          I <3 you for this, TLG.

        • So true-no one looks good eating, especially men. Men do not generally have dainty eating habits. The one thing that can turn me off a guy? Watching him eat. Thankfully this did not happen with you, Rob, but then again the shots were grainy and I only glanced quickly with one eye closed. EAT AT HOME, please.

        • no way, am i so odd?i think people can look good eating and especially men.(of cource not all of them)i quite(a lot) like watching him (the man on the subject-not necessary to be Rob:)eating i think it can be hot and he has not to be so polite just naturel-not animal
          to me eating is one of the sexiest thing a man can do beside playing piano and tennis

          • You *may* have a point. Depending on the man and what he’s eating.

          • TLG-I think you’re talking about an entirely different subject.
            And I don’t think Rob was trying to be sexy eating fast food with Tomstu. Now if he was hand-feeding him figs and licking his fingers in between, that would be sexy.

  36. You are missing the picture where he eats at Nando’s – now we don’t have Nando’s in the US so perhaps it is time for another educational moment. Though from what I can tell it looks like a delicious fancy version of KFC – is that right?

    • Kinda yes, I love that he would still go to nandos! The chicken comes grilled and nice and spicy! Free soft drink refills, Portuguese beer- the best! Plus bottomless frozen yoghurt which you dispense yourself, gotta love him. Quality! I wonder if he has the loyalty card!!?

      • Haha I’m one stamp away from a free chicken

    • Nando’s is amazing – chicken with peri peri hot sauce. In the UK they’re pretty much a sit-down portugese theme restaurant.

      Tho in Australia they are like a fancy KFC, couldn’t have described it better myself HJ!

      • This place sounds amazing! I have major jealousy, I want some nando’s!

    • After spending a totally normal amount of time looking at the Nando’s website I am wondering if there is anyway they deliver to Los Angeles.

    • shut the front door!!! rob is at the el pollo loco of the UK after manty shopping?! he kills me. i love it.

  37. Rob wears boxer you can see it clearly at the bauergriffin site

  38. uc&moon you are just so funny.Vf style is always the best. thank u so much

    and when it comes to shopping; one of the picture sources says he bought video games and boxerbriefs -black.
    i prefer to belive that(which there is pic he holds them -as a proof,so brief haters can relief)

    http://bauergriffinonline.com/2010/02/robert-pattinsons-underpants-f.php

    i’m a total stalker that i had to find the place where he did shopping at google earth and yes i found

    • I LOVE that the website has the specifics: “boxer briefs. Black. Cotton stretch. Size Large.” NEED TO KNOW INFORMATION!!

      I think I’m taking my pervyness to the extremes today…

      • not just you belive me not just you .it’d got my attention when i first saw it too

      • I don’t believe the large – unless they’re boys undies. My hubs is 6’2″ & 14 stone & wears medium. Maybe they’re a present for Dick?

        • Rob has no idea about sizes and stuff. he just thought “Hey I put on some weight so it has to be an L” or he didn’t even think of sizes, thought they were all the same.
          See Rob, i told you you should have called me.

          • so true again…normal M…but with 2 pounds more he thinks he needs L, so as they are cotton thingys…6 hours worn… and he will loose them…so next week …more M&S pics!!!

          • Oh I think you’ll find I’m an hour and a half closer than you are! hee hee

  39. nando ….it’s a mexican chain.

    • Mine,
      How is work?
      xoxo
      lion

      • Everything ok, thanks for asking, my lovely IT man put InPrivate on the old comp which apparently stops the computer from saving webpages, historys, temp internet files etc. It stops internet explorer from saving info about your browsing session!!!! :) I think I can now surf safely…….though he knows my secret!!!

  40. he was shopping on oxford st @ m&s’ hmv and game

    • no cardinal walk near victoria st

      • I bow to your superior knowlege…..:) I haven’t a clue, but M&S is opposite HMV and Game and Nandos is up the side street on Game side of the road (looks like oxford street), Cardinal Walk is round by Westminster Abbey, not somewhere I usually shop due to lack of shops. Are you sure?
        Also, I refuse to believe that Rob is purchasing briefs, I don’t believe it, and I don’t care what the photographic evidence shows, someone’s tampered with this picture….he is not buying briefs…..NOOOOOOOO!

        MP – have jumped onto someones comp to post as realised that previous posts are in the wrong place this is due to using fecking phone which a) kept deleting me; b) may have posted my comments on wrong blog…christ either that or I’ve posted things to my MD by mistake and c) misspelling worse than every. Had to give up and do a bit of stealth posting from various locations around the building.

        Watch Withnail & I you’ll love it!

        Comp back tomorrow, IT man loves me and he’s said nothing re. rob stalking and bug, though swear he was surpressing a laugh when he spoke to me earlier….grrrr!

        • Ooh, Withnail & I is one of my favorites of all time.

        • i’m pretty sure cuz i’m a creepy stalker who had found his home by street pics.and if u look at the pics u will see the street signboard writes cradinal walk which there is a marks&spencer shop plus they walk in front of Prezzo restaurant at some other pics and u can check that from google earth too.it’s near there.
          and ok don’t freak out i’m stalker but it’s not just about Rob cuz i’m a huge london fan(ages before Rob) and even though i haven’t been there ,i know some places

        • Mine!
          try not to be traumatised by the boxer briefs, think it’s only for suit occasions. Shall we send him some boxers?
          don’t forget about my very appropriate advice on the porn present for you colleague, it’s important to think of people.

  41. I am refusing to believe that the briefs are for Rob. I mean it’s great that he bought new underwear and isn’t borrowing Marcus’ dirty boxers too, but briefs? There are two other very acceptable choices and briefs is not one of them. ESP colored briefs! I’m going to pretend that it’s Dicks bday today and since he’s a guy who’s got it all, Rob decided to get dear ol’ dad some new underroos. Won’t he be pissed when he finds out he could’ve gotten the discount?

  42. “New Poon” ROTFLMAO!

    I hope he bought the purple striped undies cause I heart the purple!

    He did buy the boxer briefs, in another photo he’s got his arms full with them. And every pair is black.

  43. “that lady behind him is coming over tonight”

    ROTFLMAO!

  44. See, he is a boxerbriefs guy, he did buy the boxerbriefs! :-)

    • Baahahaa, sorry, I need to read comments before I post, it’s been linked already.

    • Thank you for that. I was going to have a hard time thinking dirty thoughts about him anymore if I truly thought he wore the briefs.

      • I second that, Sarita…but he never disappoints does he?

        • Go to the home page of Robessed and there is a pic of Rob without his shirt on and his arms are over his head. He has very hairy pits and I believe black CK undies.. I could give a crap less if they are briefs or boxer briefs.. The following pic is a close up of him during the NM scene in Italy. Great viewing.

          • Loved the large NM photo. Thanks, Snapped.

            Love his arms in this photo and hands and hair and squint and mouth.

  45. This was straight up brilliant. Yesterday, I was just shaking my head when Twitter blew up over these pics. Because, seriously… who cares. But this? This is gold. You’re both certifiably insane, and I love you for it.

  46. “his bank called cause they were alarmed he spent more than 6 dollars at a clothing store. FRAUD ALERT!!” and “he probably got one of those “spent $25 get $5 off your next visit ” = LMAO.

    i also love how they dont care that they look like total dorks in their matching beanies with beards.

  47. The only thing that keeps running through my head is the justification that his package is um..large…and um…its uncomfortable to have that swinging around all day so he keeps things all nestled right where they belong….ahem.
    Also, I think that his jeans are far too tight to let the goods just hang out usually. I like to think he saves that for special moments like the Oscars….

    PS – you are both hilarious. Dick and Clare’s old LAzy Boys…New Poon…BRILLIANCE.

  48. I just figured it out.

    Rob didn’t like all the attention Kellan was getting for posing in his underwear on the blogs and interwebs.

    And knowing that Calvin Klein wont be asking Rob with his lanky, hobo bod to be a spokes model anytime soon. He did the next best thing.

    Let the ladies use their imagination.

    And of course we rose to the challenge.

    You’re welcome, Rob.

    • congratulations Donna. i loved your idea, i think u’r right and to me the winner is ROB, this was better than kellan’s shoots

    • I’d rather see Rob in his cheap size L boxer black boxer briefs than Kellan in his Calvins any day. He’s way too beefy for my taste.

      • again what dazzeled said.

        • actually i can’t believe ck asked kellan to model for them. didn’t they used to be cool?

          • ck is sooo last millenium…lol

          • at the end of the millenium they were really bad…could only get better from that point. and they did

  49. Aww. I think TY Inc. needs to come out with a Beanie Buddies Hobo line now… Collect the whole Brit Pack. One hat/jacket/shirt fits all.

  50. There’s smth on mtv about robbie williams and everytime they say ‘Rob’ I snap around… Is that normal?!

    • Yes, totally. Ha!


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