You know when you go away for a work conference and you sit in boring meetings all day and then at 5:15pm they give out awards but you’re busy texting friends to get through the boredom then suddenly everyone is clapping because you won an award and you missed it because you were texting friends and you were like “Wtf!? How did I win an award? I blogged about vampires all year!” But you walk on the stage anyway, accidentally bringing your phone with that’s currently buzzing with text replies and you try to laugh it off when the VP of marketing says “I saw you texting instead of paying attention” then you go to cocktail hour to celebrate and then afterwards @janetrigs picks you up to take you out for more drinks and by the time you get home it’s 12:30 am and you’re many drinks in and have just NOTHING to write to Rob? Yeah… this is one of those days…Thank GOD for all of you who write amazing letters….. enjoy this one from “The Old One.” She just saved my ass :)
We’ve long passed that feeding frenzy that lead up to the New Moon premiere, and I’m starting to feel a vibe from you and the rest of the cast—enough already–and there’s still two (maybe three?) films to go in the “franchise,” as you call it. It’s got to be getting so old. Let’s pull out (!) for a longer shot and look at what I personally am getting really excited about, and I’m sure you are too: your future in films! Enough of the PG-13 teen heartthrob angst! Let’s get to the juicy stuff- the MATURE audience stuff. I can’t wait! You’ve got this on the horizon (from Screendaily.com via Robsessed): “Bel Ami, the film of Guy De Maupassant’s erotically charged story of ambition, power and seduction. . . about a young man’s rise to the top of Parisian high society in the 1890s, via the beds of the city’s most glamorous and influential women. . . . In a world where politics and media jostle for influence, where sex is power and celebrity an obsession, the film has, say the producers, a contemporary relevance which should resonate with audiences worldwide.” I’ll say. That’s resonating with me, right here. Swoon.
And then you have your other upcoming film, Unbound Captives, where you’re going to learn Comanche and ride bareback (!) For God’s sake, Rob, I don’t think I can take it. You’re going to give the Wolfpack a run for their Native American money. You’ll have to grow your hair way out or get extensions (we know how you feel about those, and remember those photoshopped pictures Moon and UC did a while back?) Will you have to wear a loincloth and dash around with buffalo? That’s so manly, OMG. Will you try to get a tan? That’s Oscar material right there!!
You’ve said you want to keep yourself so busy working on the sets of these various projects for a year or two that hopefully the furor will have died down a bit and you can have a real life again. Well I for one want you to keep on working until you get your wish and your hair recedes like Jack Nicholson’s. Then you can get your Lifetime Achievement Award in Best Hair.
No really, I have all kinds of ideas for the “vehicles” that would let your light shine. How about playing a pouty, sexy 60’s rock star that’s chased by screaming groupies, a la Mick Jagger? You’ve got the musical chops AND the pout. And there would be a LOT of sex and drugs and rock and roll. Or you could totally be the next James Bond- The remake of “Octopussy”! You could wear the same suit and bowtie you wore to the Oscars. Let’s see… how about Suburban Dog Millionaire, the story of a lowly teen model from the shabby outskirts of London whose karma leads him to fortune and to get back the mullet-haired love of his youth? It is written! Okay, I’d better stop, but I’m sure others can come up with more ideas.
With eyes on the future and much affection,
The Old One
What do you think Rob should do next? What are you hopes for him outside of the Twilight saga?
Wondering why I chose to post all pics of Drunk Rob today? Well, get to know @janetrigs and you’ll know why. XOXO thanks for showing me around DC girl!!!!