“Robbie Baby”

*Hey friends, it’s Christmas week and to get us into the spirit of the season we’re going to be reworking some classic Christmas songs. Today’s is brought to us by the lovely, funny, witty, rad Calli. Just try not to blush, I dare you!*

Robbie Baby has got some mistletoe and a "package" he'd like to give you for being naughty

(aka “The Time Calli Wrote a Song and Got Uncomfortable”**)

(To the Tune of “Santa Baby”)

Buh-bum.. buh-bum…
Robbie Baby, just slip yourself under the tree, for me
Promise I won’t fangirl
Robbie baby, so make your way to see me tonight

Robbie baby, wear a mismatched button down too, light blue,
I’ll be waiting right here,
Robbie baby, come hide from papz at my place tonight

Kristen might be a little pissed,
but Rob your jawline’s begging to be kissed
one little peck and then i’ll be good
Just let me check you off my Christmas list

Robbie baby, give me watcha got cuz your oh, so hot
Been lovin you for a year
robbie baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Ho, Ho, Vodka

robbie honey, so maybe one more thing i need, the deed
want to have you as mine,
robbie baby, so climb on into my bed tonight

robbie cutie, and fill my evening with tastes of your neck and pecks,
on you I’d like to dine
robbie cutie, come get your kicks with me tonight

Come and trim my chirstmas tree,
With some crocked smiles meant for only me

Fine, I admit I obsesses over you,
‘just think that we are meant to be

Robbie baby, forgot to mention one little thing, I wanna Scream,
I don’t mean for the Team,
Robbie baby, so climb up in my chimney tonight

climb up in my chimney tonight
Climb, tonight.
c
Now sing along…

Follow the cut to see a note from Calli to Rob…

Calli Disclaimer:

Callie feels about as weird as the person who made this SHOULD feel!

Dear Rob,

If you happen to read this, I would like you to know that it was extremely awkward writing a song about wanting to do you… and have you climb up into places. Not saying I oppose the notion, but… I just want to let you know that just like I’m sure reading this got awkward for you the further it progressed… writing it got awkward for me too. So, you know, we’ve got that in common. Let’s talk about it. Call me.

Okay, and one other thing. It sorta felt like fanfiction… and I had a lightbulb moment and was like… whoa… wait a second… Rob reads fanfiction… sometimes, about himself. That’s REALLY, REALLY awkward man. Like, really awkward. You MUST be kinky… because, let’s be honest… you’re not reading it because you’re searching for the next Pulitzer Prize winner. What would Clare say Rob? I bet she’s asked you about it. How’d you explain that one away… you kinky sex freak…. I mean… haha… where was I? Oh yes… Call me. We can discuss the awkwardness that was me writing/you reading this song.

Hearts,
Calli

Oh Calli… welcome to the club! This reminds me of that one time UC bet me and I had to write a one shot fan fiction about that stupid tabloid Robsten story. Let’s be 2nd hand embarrassed together. XO- Moon

So what’d you think of Robbie/Santa Baby? Do you want to trim his Christmas Tree (duh!), will this be stuck in your head forever now? (yes!), what other Christmas songs do you want to be Rob-icised? Are you following Calliopeblabs? Well you SHOULD BE! Tell her how awesome Santa baby is!

Santa Baby graphic courtesy of the crazy fun Jen at MyRobertPattinson. Booze Santa courtesy of me!

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTT, Twitter

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