I’ve been thinking a lot about going back to school lately and really going deep and studying something I’m interested in, I naturally excel at AND see a future in… but alas they don’t have a degree in YOU: Robert Pattinson. This week however, I happened to be cruising “the sites” and happened across this interesting post on Twicrack about Robert Pattinson School in England. Yea, for serious there is a school with YOUR name. Unfortunately it seems to be a grade school for younger kids and so my application for acceptance was rejected along with a note that said “That’s not legal ANYWHERE, let alone Georgia!” Don’t they know I just want to spend more time studying YOU? There’s so much in almost eleven months that we still don’t know! And what about those of us who are new to the fold? How will they ever learn? So in the spirit of Robert Pattinson School, I’ve put together my own curriculum and course descriptions for the all new Letters to Rob University where you can work on your BS (heavy on the BS) in Robert Thomas Pattinson!
Rob 101 – Intro to Robert Thomas Pattinson (3hrs)
A gateway course for students in the Division of Robert Pattinson Studies, those interested in exploring the history, life, interests, gossip, future projects and practical application of such knowledge regarding the universities namesake. This course will introduce students to both the methods and practices of these disciplines, locating ways in which to share your acute fondness and new found knowledge in practical and “normal” ways.
Rob 102 Survey of Pattinson’s Works (3 hours)
A study of the major film works, musical recordings and interviews (recorded and written) from Mr. Pattinson’s career which spawned an intense and rabid following. Readings will include works from Vanity Fair, GQ, Seventeen, Tiger Beat and Bop. Musical performances will include selections from the Twilight soundtrack, bootleg recordings, and influential material (Van Morrison, John Lee Hooker and DeAngelo). Character studies of Edward Cullen, Daniel Gale and Cedric Diggory, Interviews to include selections from the Twilight Press junket and the Ellen Degeneres Show. Films will include Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Bad Mother’s Handbook and Rings of Nibelungs. Prerequisites: unlimited harddrive space, access to Netflix and Youtube.
Rob 103 Photoshoot Appreciation (2hrs)
Lectures to stimulate visual, emotional and intellectual awareness of Robert Pattinson’s humanity and beauty through the printed image. Covers historically significant photoshoots from Miu Miu to GQ. With special emphasis on and guest lectures by Photographer Peggy Spirota from the famed Vanity Fair Fall 2008 photoshoot. Prerequisite: ability to control or dispose of drool.
Follow the cut to read Intermediate, Advanced and Elective Course descriptions and ENROLL!
Rob 201 – Utilization of Snark and Sarcasm (lifelong enrollment)
A course designed to emphasize comment and writing improvement, usage of, and the techniques related to effective snark and sarcasm development. Recommended for students who wish to improve basic humor skills. Lab required. Graded Pass/Fail.
Cases and examples to be discussed: TammyO, Robsten/Nonsten, Twimoms
Required Reading: How to Tell
Prerequisites: Sense of humor, ability to laugh at oneself
Rob 202 – Strategies in Stalking (1hrs)
Teachings to cover stalking in both the online and real world applications. Online methods to include lectures on Google search methods, Google Alerts and Twitter Account Maintenance. Real World methods to include befriending paparazzi, set stalkers, receptionists, lonely security guards and Pattinson family members 5 times removed.
Requirements: mobile phone with Internet and Twitter capabilities, bail money.
Rob 303 Digital Imaging Shenanigans and Fanmade Video Production (3hrs)
Focus on desktop/Iphone wallpaper creation, digital manipulation and photoshop shenanigans of photographic images. 2nd half of class will focus on digital video editing to achieve the maximum level of desired emotion (happiness, saddness, hottness). Use of computers, Adobe Photoshop and video editing software will be explored and used. Projects focus on Robsten Manipulations, site tag removal, and various shenanigans using Jorts, Nascar Shirts, Tom Sturridge photos and mullets. Video editing projects focus on Rob’s photoshoots, RobStu, Robsten and the inclusion of songs other than Evanescence and Kings of Leon.
Review of legal issues related to digital imagery, stealing clips, copyrighted material, cease and desist documents and Youtube.
Guest lectures from: PetitBiel
Prerequisites: Rob 102 Survey of Pattinson’s Works and Rob 103 Photoshoot Appreciation
Rob 304 – Roblosophy (3hrs)
The philosophy of Robert Pattinson. Survey and study of the meaning of Rob, the relation of the hottness and beauty of Rob, the nature and validity of the fan experience, the arguments for the existence of this kind of obsession and fandom, the nature of good and evil within the Rob fandom. A class to tackle the questions students cannot seem to answer or understand. Attention given to the usage of “That’s Normal.”
BP 101 – Introduction to the Brit Pack (1hrs)
The course is designed to allow students to gain knowledge of the roots of these popular musicians, their connections to Robert Pattinson and an appreciation for their musical recordings, manbangs and famewhoring. The course seeks to chronicle the beginnings, evolution and styles of Sam Bradley, Bobby Long and Marcus Foster through discussion, listening and Google stalking. It allows students to become acquainted with the important personalities, fans and musicians themselves. Recordings covered include: Soho Whores, that one song that is supposedly the same as Never Think, Tumble Down and Anything that comes out of Bobby Long’s mouth. Special topics to include: mumbling, Land of Dreamers and pyramid schemes.
Guest Lecturers: Ascot Phil and that Merch Girl
Prerequisites: Interest in Rob, copies of Britpack recordings
FF 101 – Survey of FanFiction (hrs innumerable)
An overview of significant authors, works of literature, and literary forms and trends from the FanFiction world. Attention given to the historical background of each work including plagarism, drama and hiatuses. Students will study the creation and employment of major FanFictional archetypes including: Darkward, Domward, Blissward and Beautiful Bastard. Also covered will be the styles of the major FanFiction writers. Works to include: Wide Awake, The Office, A Life Extraordinary and The Dom/sub
Guest lecturers: AngstGoddess, TBY789, LolaShoes, Tara Sue Me and round table (Skype) discussions led by fellow students
May be repeated with different subject matter
All courses and electives culminate into the final:
Rob 401 – Practicum (1hrs)
Students will venture into the world taking a trip to either film locations, Forks, Washington or the concert of a Britpack member to put into use their new found breadth of knowledge in all things Robert Pattinson. Students will meet up with other students from around the world to discuss course topics, personal experiences studying Robert Pattinson and of course their mutual love for the subject matter. Practicum will end with a project culminating the student’s experience in the area of Robert Pattinson. To be formulated on a personal blog, Facebook or email using images, video and personal stories. The project will demonstrate a synthesis of skills and knowledge developed through the core coursework in Robert Pattinson.
Applications to be reviewed by Deans UC and Moon and acceptance based on past experience, level of interest and ability to excel!
We’re excited to begin enrollment for the Spring semester of 2010 and expect full classes! So see Rob, maybe there SHOULD be a school devoted to studying you. I think a know a couple of folks who might be interested!
Co-Dean of Studies,
So who’s ready to enroll? What classes do you think there should be at LTR University? Who should teach or guest lecture what class?