Posted by: UC | October 7, 2009

Ask WikiAnswers about Robert Pattinson

Dear Rob,

I consider myself a Rob expert. A Robexpert, if you will (not to be confused with a “sexpert” which I also am) Just like any good expert on a topic, I’ve wasted some time answering questions on the very valuable “WikiAnswers” about the topic for which I have expertise.

What does Wiki Answers have to do with YOU you wonder? What DOESN’T it have to do with you? I can ask this site any question I want about you, Rob, and it’s bound to have a brilliant answer penned by a 13 year old fan. I’ll be honest, the legitimacy of the site is skewed when anyone who calls you “Robert Cullen” is involved, so I decided to become an avid participant of the site, scouring it daily (or hourly if I’m honest) for  questions about you and adding my thoughts as WikiAnswers resident Robexpert. Here are a few examples:

(Note: These are actual questions I found followed by actual answers by WikiAnswers users. MY response is in purple below the real answer)

Seriously. Creepy. Who would HAVE this picture?

Seriously. Creepy. Who would HAVE this picture?


Q
Where can you find the pics of Robert Pattinson in his slippers getting his newspaper?

A: That’s really creepy! Why would you even want that picture? yeah thats just plain grosss. does he even get the newspaper everyday? p.s. creepy

Reply from Questioner: yes i’m that obsessed. if you don’t know where i can find those pics (and you’re pretending you’re not as obsessed as i am) then pls don’t bother answering.

Wake up early, make a pot of coffee, wait for your dad to come down the stairs in his bathrobe and sleepers, follow him out to the driveway, watch him pick up the newspaper, quickly snap a shot of him with your camera and print out the picture. Now you don’t even have to find the picture because Rob looked exactly like your dad.

Q Is Robert Pattinson hot?

A: I think he is a very attractive person. Not just on the outside but in the inside he has a beautiful heart and he deserves every comment he gets that is complementing him. He is a great person and im proud to call him a friend…for now… -posted by a very close friend-

Close friend? Sam Bradley? Is that you?

Q What is Robert Pattinson’s religion?

A: Iv’e heard from youtube hes catholic but i could be wrong but thats also a really personal question

Last time I talked to YouTube he said that Rob thinks he doesn’t have a soul and is going to end up in hell. And I agree- that is a personal question. Stick to less intrusive questions like how many times a day Rob jacks off thinking of Sam Bradley’s mom

Q Has Robert Pattinson had sex?

A: Yes but only twice:

  • with him self
  • He did with Kristen. I’ll get pics. l8r

Can I see those pictures when you’re done? Can you crop out Kristen first?

Hat says "Fan of the cyber 69" Trust

Hat says "Fan of the cyber 69" Trust

Q Does Robert Pattinson have an email adress?

A: yes he does. its robertpattison33@yahoo.com.

A: well thats a complete lie cos hes name is not pattison its robert pattinson so thats not hes email is it?????

A: actually its Rob.Pattinson_86@hotmail.com

Did he recently change it? He wrote me recently from tuckerhats69@juno.com (haha I know! Seems like a silly email name, but I sent him a white trucker hat after he asked me to cyber 69 with him last time)

Q How do you know Robert Pattinson has a girlfriend?

A: He is getting back on track with Kristen they just went on a vacation together and he spends a lot of his time at her home.

A: that Robert is dating anyone in particular, including Kristen, is just rumor. Not once have either of them stated they so much as went on a date. Same for they are married, they are engaged, they are living together, they are having sex, he got her pregnant, he got her pregnant and the studio made her get an abortion, the studio knows they are dating and tried to force them to keep it quiet, the studio knows they hate each other and if forcing them to pretend they are in love (and is actually leaking such stories to the tabloids), Robert is actually gay and Summit is making him lie, even in interviews about Little Ashes (and tried to stop him from doing that role) etc.

In the end, the answer to the question is that it is his business if he has a girlfriend and who it might be. But until he says flat out “I am dating X” anything you have heard is rumor and very possibly untrue. including the captions on fuzzy photos uploaded to the internet

OMG! YOU saw our picture!

"Kristin Stewart comes here"

"Kristin Stewart comes here"

Q Is Robert Patterson in love with kristin…. in real life. If they are in love whats the age difference?

A: I think Kristin is dating Jacob. Not for sure though just got a feeling!

Actually I have a feeling she’s effing Solomon Trimble

Q Does robert pattinson like big boobs?

A: no well he likes girls with a great personality.

Gosh I HOPE so. Otherwise this was a very expensive and very painful mistake for me to make…

But then I found THIS know-it-all:

Q Is Robert Pattinson handsome?

A: Handsome is in the eye of the beholder. To be completely honest, he is more cute than handsome. To be brutally honest, he has a more feminine look (which isn’t a bad thing, lots of girls, especially young ones like guys who look like girls…if that makes sense). So, some people may think that he is good looking (or any difinitive of that =] … see the answers below for an example, I didn’t have the heart to delete them ♥) and some people may completely disagree. And that’s fine too. If we all agreed on everything, the world would be a very boring place!

PS I ask that you please stop removing my answer to write that you think that Robert Pattinson is [insert juvenile adjective here], this is not an opinion site, and I have explained that some people find certain individuals good looking when others don’t see it. I feel that this is an unbiased answer. Please also be informed that if you removed this, I will put it back.

Who do you think you are? Roaming around the wiki answers and acting like a Robexpert? I’m pissed. Although you have a point….Wiki Answers isn’t an opinion site and you DID answer the objective question “Is Robert Pattinson Handsome” without opinion or bias. You took the simple fact that handsomeness is determined by genes and you must be up on your medical news and know that there is a slight possibility that Rob has a mutation on the ABBED section of gene #24 causing him to quite possibly be more “Cute” than “handsome” Damnit! I’ve been outdone!

Love the 2nd best Robexpert,
UnintendedChoice

Have no fear! There are UNANSWERED questions to be found on WikiAnswers! I got us started with the first two, but feel free to respond to them and the ones following in the comments. See if you can beat the 13 year olds!

Q Which is Rob Pattinson Yahoo ID?

He got rid of his Yahoo ID, but I think his ICQ number is 45637

Q What kind of phone does rob pattinson have?

The jitterbug (Don’t be confused if you see hiim with an iphone. He has one of those too but downloaded the “jitterbug” app so that it sounds and acts like a jitterbug

Q Is Robert Pattinson a racist?

Q What kind of girls does Rob Pattinson like?

Q Does Kristen Stewart eat garlic before kissing Rob to wind him up?

Then continue the fun in The Forum
and see what Moon has for us over on LTT
Don’t forget TONIGHT is the deadline to enter the “Imma” contest to win AWESOME prizes from Bella Bejeweled! Get your entries into us via e-mail or twitter by 11:59pm ET

Thank you to WikiAnswers Robert Pattinson tag for all the good times

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Responses

  1. Oh. My. God.
    I cannot believe people actually ask these questions.
    My friends need to read this before they deem me nuts!

    • ABOUT HIS ”RACIST” OPINION,LOL!hmm..i am not american AND ENGLISH IS NOT MY NATIVE LANGUAGE ,but i see nowadays white americans cannot say anything without being seen as racists…especially as (mega)stars…poor rob is mockened and insulted on many websites(like utube ) on this mistake by”afroamericans”and white ppl don t even dare to respond in his defence…love him even he is racist:)

      and btw….white ppl of america …waaaaaaake up ! u are insulted day by day these black ppl and don t have the right to answer back!wtf?!?!?!?!?

  2. Q Where can you find the pics of Robert Pattinson in his slippers getting his newspaper?

    A Probably at the same Old man store he got that ugly collared shirt.

    (And he reads the newspaper??)

    ———-
    Q Does robert pattinson like big boobs?

    A Obviously not, he hooked up with Kstew.
    ———–
    Q Does Kristen Stewart eat garlic before kissing Rob to wind him up?

    A Yes. But its not to get him wound up… its to hide the smell of cheap booze and cigarettes
    ———–
    Q What kind of girls does Rob Pattinson like?

    A Minivan Moms and Mullet wearing whiners.

    (Sorry… I don’t like Kstew :) )

    • Hooray for minivan moms!!!

      KStew doesn’t have to actually EAT the garlic…she just naturally smells that way.

      And yes, Rob’s email IS truckerhat69@juno.com – I know because I got an email from that very address instructing me to drive to the Teen Choice Awards and wait in my minivan :)

    • i don’t know about the big boobs thing. he also allegedly hooked up with nikki reed.

      and, i don’t like kstew all that much either. she’s a loud breather and she blinks too much. (probably the drugs)

      • OMG you mean i’m not the only one who noticed that whenver she TRIES to act out and emotion she freakin goes into shcok and does blinkers goes crazy. so glad to know im not the only one that it totally pisses off. it ruins every good moment for me when she does.

    • I don’t like skanK-stew either! Minivan Moms or bust!! =)

  3. I have a feeling you meant to say truckerhat69@juno.com, but tuckerhat69 sounds way more yucky and conjures up an image of The Tuck, except now in my mind he’s wearing a trucker hat while posing The Tuck.

    PS – “Kristen comes here” made me BWAHAHAHAHAA

    • My mind immediately went to The Tuck as well. Coupled with the Cyber 69 bit, my brain exploded.

      • Me too! I thought it was just subconscious thinking from UC.

        • LMAO @ JodieO! Bril!

          • p.s. someone needs to manip that hat on the tuck photo!

    • I thought a “Tucker Hat” was one of those Urban Dictionary sex acts and I wasn’t about to look it up.

      • Me too! But I was going to have to wait until after work. They already know my Twi obsession, don’t want to have to explain what a Tucker Hat is to the boss!

      • OK being a brit I’ve never heard of ‘Tucker Hat’ so anyone care to share?

        • It’s not anything. Well, it’s a trucker hat, but poor UC left out the “r” so we’re all speculating what filthy definition we can create for “tucker hat”.

          • I can be so slow sometimes…must be my advanced cougarishness, I think I just invented a word!!!

    • hahaha I said Tuckerhat? whoops! totes keeping it that way!

  4. I am too 2ndhand embareced to post…..

  5. the fact people actually ASK these questions is highly disturbing. Garlic? Seriously? He’s not an effing Vampire…AND if he were, it wouldn’t be a turn on….Bill asked Sookie to refrain from garlic, so I think Rob would ask Kristen the same…

    oops sorry I totally just mixed my vampire sagas together

  6. “Sam Bradley? Is that you?”

    Haaahahaa!

  7. I can’t believe people ask these questions. Although… Alice and I once asked a promotional foam dice whether Robert Pattinson was hot. The answer that came up was the company logo. Informative indeed.

  8. “Last time I talked to YouTube he said that Rob thinks he doesn’t have a soul and is going to end up in hell. And I agree- that is a personal question. Stick to less intrusive questions like how many times a day Rob jacks off thinking of Sam Bradley’s mom”

    Loved every word!

  9. UC, great answer to “Is Rob Pattinson handsome?” And I can’t believe some of those questions on Wiki – SO second hand embarrassing.

  10. OME I can’t believe you posted my question!!! I just had to know if Rob was actually hot or if it was just my perception!

    ….And I wanted a definitive yes or no dammit!!

    oink

    • Definitive Yes.

  11. get a life.

    • Okay!

      • I heard they’re having a sale on them at Sears.

        • yep, two lives for the price of one – known as BOGOF here in London!

          • We just call it BOGO here. We leave the F off. Geddit?? I said “F off”! I’m so witty.

        • I thought those were the hater ones?
          Sometimes you just have to go for quality and pay that little extra. I recommend Saks.

    • As you are reading a LTR blog, I dare say that you also need to “get a life.”

      Just saying.

    • Done!

    • Is someone having a bad day? Turn that frown upside down!

    • We are the Rob….

    • oh dear TammyO you changed your nickname to nina??

  12. the jitterbug. cracks me up every single time. now he only needs one of those life allert bracelets.

    • And a hoveround power chair!

      • “i’m free to see the world!”

  13. I just spit out my coffee reading this…Stick to less intrusive questions like how many times a day Rob jacks off thinking of Sam Bradley’s mom.

    And I love how that first questioner was all defensive in her question. I’m glad wikianswers is giving her an appropriate forum since she obviously has to rationalize to not be second hand embarassed.

    thanks for giving me a pick me up this AM :)

  14. Should say, “Kristen cums here.”

    The Q-&-A are as funny as the pathetic letters those poor lil tweeners write to Rob on the LTR home page. When I need a good chuckle they never fail to deliver.

    • i know. but that word grosses me out so much so I decided to stick with a less gross form of come.
      ew

      • Me too!!! I feel dirty when I read it. Kinda like the other c word that I hate.

        • *Shudders* Don’t say it . . . don’t say it OUT LOUD.

        • C U Next Tuesday? I love that word. It’s one of my favorites. I got to see the Vagania Monologues and was fortunate enough to see Glenn Close on her knees screaming that word over and over again. That was worth the price of admission right there.

  15. Awww… poor disillusioned children (& twi-moms) going to Wikianswers for these serious questions.

    Everyone knows that Rob is a devil worshipper right? I mean, he does play a vampire. Sheesh!

    Yes, he is turned on by garlic. Isn’t everyone?

    Rob obviously likes girls that are twitchy & skinny. Who forget to bathe, but when they do bathe, they are amazingly gorgeous. Kinda like him. : )

    • “Rob obviously likes girls that are twitchy & skinny. Who forget to bathe, but when they do bathe, they are amazingly gorgeous. Kinda like him”

      brilliant!!

    • FB06 – since you are a future librarian, I assume you scorn all things WIki and are using scholarly databases to gather your Robformation, correct? I know I do ;) Welcome to the profession by the way!

      • I must admit that I love to look up useless crap on wikipedia but I would never, ever cite it in a paper.

        I actually rarely look up anything Rob bc reading this blog, FB & Twitter take up enough time. Sad Face.

        I do have mounds of HW to do.

        But thanks for the welcome!

        • By scholarly databases, I was of course referring to LTT/LTR/RObsessed etc. :)

          Signed,
          the librarian who hasn’t read a “real book” since June 2009.

  16. These are so funny! Is Robert Pattinson handsome? Duh. I agree with feminine face. He’s kind of like Leonardo di Caprio. However when Leo was 23(Titanic), he looked like he was a high-schooler and I totally loved him. Rob looks older than 23, especially when he has facial stubble, which I absolutely adore and is so sexy. Okay, I’m rambling. :-)

    • He looks like Hugh Jackman as Wolverine when he doesn’t shave.

      • My God! You are right!

      • Bwahahaha, a little! :-)

    • It’s called GrizzlyRob. And the GrizzlyRob makes me ::flood::

      M

      • Someone please post some pics of Grizzly Rob!

        Stubble Rob = dreamy and sexy

        • http://twitpic.com/kmb4o

          enjoy!

        • and the famous Rob Grizzly Adams http://twitpic.com/kmbob

          • Man he is hot! Thanks for this! You made my day!!

            Beardward is my absolute fav!

          • Oh my….never seen this… I think I am officially hot for the Rob Grizzly Adams… That’s damn hawt.

          • He looks like Russell Crowe here.

            But better..

          • @Jellybeanrainbow -thanks! I like the 2nd one better! That’s already a beard, I’d like just stubble but he still looks definitely hot there!

          • Actually I was thinking more like this kind of stubble:

            http://www.robertpattinsonau.com/2009/06/29/cap-tion-this/

            Hope y’all like this.

  17. To:Know It All who philosophized on whether Rob is handsome-sorry, I’m the one who keeps removing your answer. Because it’s wrong-there IS a definite answer to this question, and it’s YES-Rob is handsome, and if you don’t think so you’re either A. blind or B. a lesbian. I don’t know which of these yo fall into but from now on stick to topics you know.

    • Even the lesbians think he’s hot. I think we have a couple on here.

      • Guys think he’s hot too. So the know it all must be blind then.

  18. Is Robert Pattinson racist?

    Can’t say yes or no exactly, but he doesn’t have an aversion to the Deep South. The girl he is supposedly with has a mullet.

    • I happen to know that he isn’t racist as he makes an appearance in some of my daydreams. He likes to flirt & as my father is black, making me half-black, he cannot be racist.

      The end.

      • Thank you for settling this once and for all. Isn’t there more pressing discrimination we should be worried about, though?

        Is Robert Pattinson AGEIST?

        I am pushing 30, and I just have to wonder if, provided he and I were stranded on a deserted island with no chance of rescue, and I received a message in a bottle from my husband, advising that I “CARPE THE PATTINSON,” would sir be put off by my seven years of previous life experience? Or would he just give me a sultry look and ask that I give him a crash course in sexonomics?

        • Not ageist. He specifically said he likes older women and he said he needs to avoid women born after 1988! So you’d be fine with him on a desert island as long as you have a pulse (and maybe for a while thereafter).

        • “CARPE THE PATTINSON”= epic WIN.

    • “he doesn’t have an aversion to the Deep South” …. he does things to my Deep South every time I look at him. hey-o!!

      M

      • @myria101 Thanks for not letting me down. I was just waiting for someone to take that Deep South comment to the next level!

        • The. Next. Level.

          Muh hahahahaha

  19. Wow.

    I don’t remember being that delusional at 13.

    • I know. I waited until I was 32 to become delusional.

      • Like me you are simply a late bloomer.

      • 45 for me…… StotheP 30 is nothing so don’t worry and the way I see it is all any of us are going to get {in reality} is Rob in our heads… Soooooooo age, colour, size, martial status, ability, whereabouts in the world we are and who Rob is really dating or anything else that is against us does not matter a flying fu**…..he’s STILL gonna come get me tonight, tomorrow night, and in the queue at the supermarket when ever I want……yep it’s great being a 45 year old cougar with an addiction to fanfic!!!!!! I LOVE delusional….

        • WOOHOO! I hope you don’t mind sharing! We can all have a piece!

          Huhuh. “Piece.” Mmmm. Finger-lickin’ good. Melts in your mouth (not in your hands). Once you pop you can’t stop it.

          OME, did I just type that out loud? *Blushes*

          I’m delusional. That’s normal, right?

          • Ixnay on the last “it.”

      • Ok, that was funny!

        • I lurve your name hhhmmmnnnn Rob’s got a lovely ChinNubbin….

          StotheP You made me lol I <3 you girls sooo much…

  20. I sure hope Rob doesn’t check on his Wikipedia ???s. It really gives us “mature” admirers a bad name. I am so glad that I rely on LTR for my information. At least, UC & Moon can write grammatically correct sentences w/ accurate spelling. I am not counting the confusion between “tuck” and “trucker” a misspelling – it is simply a Freudian slip.

    • haha.. thank you for not holding that against me!

      • I’m sure Rob will hold it against you…

        ::mumbles to self about a dumpster::

  21. You just mentioned Juno and ICQ… HOLY 1998 FLASHBACKS.

    Hi, let me introduce myself: I’m a nerd. And I <3 you.

    Ok, enough geek speak. What is wrong with people? I swear I wasn't that crazy at 13. Or any other age for that matter. Love your answers… I'm semi-tempted to get on there and make some ridiculous responses myself. Because I really need another distraction from my work.

    • moon & i had some good laughs about old school computer things. she remembers her families FIRST aol email account. it was some number…

      • I’ve got her beat (sadly). I totally remember my ICQ number. I can’t remember to pay my cable bill on time, but I can remember a membership number for an instant messenger application that I haven’t used in 11 years. Fail.

        • Haha, I still have my ICQ number memorized too!!

          And as I was reading this post I thought to myself, there’s no WAY Rob had 5-digit ICQ number, because they assigned those consecutively and I refuse to believe he would have gotten his before me… in my little universe of nerdiness…

  22. Q Is Robert Pattinson a racist?

    A.No. You see him with that little indian boy that turns into a fox all the time.

    (Who’s husband said that? It cracks me up everytime I think about it)

    Q What kind of girls does Rob Pattinson like?

    A. He’s a man. This answer is so clear- One’s with a pulse.– And for those of you who can’t quite wrap their brains around the reality that Rob is not really a vampire, this answer works on two levels.

    Q Does Kristen Stewart eat garlic before kissing Rob to wind him up?
    A. yes

    • Rob’s not a vampire???!?!?!?

      I am shocked!!!!!!

      • Nooooo. He’s a METROpire – we already knew this from one of youz guys’ posts weeks ago.

        Sexy metropiro!

  23. “Last time I talked to Youtube”…

    omg I love you…

    What kind of girls does RP like?

    Well, mostly 42 year old married with children types. Pref. brunettes. You know, people who want to make him sandwiches and do his laundry and keep him ‘entertained’ all afternoon. Duh.

    • Well I hope you’re happy LBP, now I’ve got “Afternoon Delight” playing over and over in my head…..

      • Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight…

        Great, it’s in mine now too.

      • My work here is done.

  24. “Stick to less intrusive questions like how many times a day Rob jacks off thinking of Sam Bradley’s mom”

    I sincerely hope this is TRUE…it gives us cougars so much more to hope and dream about. Rob likes mature women {just not now as he seems to have a thing for the skinny girl with a mullet}.

    Excellant post, nearly choked to death laughing I sooo <3 you U.C and Moon…..

  25. “Last time I talked to YouTube he said that Rob thinks he doesn’t have a soul and is going to end up in hell. And I agree- that is a personal question. Stick to less intrusive questions like how many times a day Rob jacks off thinking of Sam Bradley’s mom.”

    ROTFLMAO!

    “Gosh I HOPE so. Otherwise this was a very expensive and very painful mistake for me to make…”

    WIN!

    btw, *media alert. Death Cab for a Cutie’s video for their song that’s on the New Moon soundtrack is being premiered on MTV tonight at 8pm Eastern.

  26. Does anyone remember IRC? OMG I think about that now and can just see the rooms.

    Cougars for Rob
    Hot for Rob
    Red Hot Cathold Love for Rob
    Big Boobs for Rob

    Loved this blog

  27. Dayum

    MIRC

    Catholic

    • Yes! I remember MIRC too! Does anyone still use that?

  28. I am still confused as why someone would want to know if Rob is handsome or not….

    Handsome doesn’t even come close to what he is, most days. Some days he’s hot, some days he’s adorable, some days he’s gorgeous, some days he’s mouth watering, and on a odd day, he’s just plain handsome. Cute is not word that I would use to describe Rob, on any day…

    • AGREED.

    • @katiebird -handsome is an understatement!

  29. [...] Ask WikiAnswers about Robert Pattinson « Letters to Rob letterstorob.wordpress.com/2009/10/07/ – view page – cached I consider myself a Rob expert. A Robexpert, if you will (not to be confused with a “sexpert” which I also am) Just like any good expert on a topic, I’ve wasted some time answering questions on… (Read more)I consider myself a Rob expert. A Robexpert, if you will (not to be confused with a “sexpert” which I also am) Just like any good expert on a topic, I’ve wasted some time answering questions on the very valuable “WikiAnswers” about the topic for which I have expertise. (Read less) — From the page [...]

  30. Q Does Kristen Stewart eat garlic before kissing Rob to wind him up?

    Wow!

    Also, I’m thinking I’ll ask you ladies, seeing as you’re the Robexperts I trust. Anyway, does lusting for Rob make you a lesbian? I mean, since he’s so feminine and all. :P

    I totally disagree he looks femme! What woman grows that much stubble!? What woman has that JAW?! Nikki Reed, did you answer the handsome question… Don’t be bitter he chose Kristen over you… *shakes head*

    P.S. I actually like Nikki. It’s just she said this in an interview. *rolls eyes*

    • According to the forum I’m a fake lesbian so in a way my Robsession has turn me…at least for a while…

      • The things Rob does to us all… The effects are never-ending. <3

        Hey, seeing as you're a fake lesbian at the 'mo, could it be that Rob was ALSO the reason why Kristen and Nikki were fake-lesbians…? I must look this up pronto.

  31. OMG!! This caption “Kristin Stewart comes here”
    with the pic of Solomon and his parted lips KILLED ME, UC!!! lmao!!

    M

    PS – Those questions are insane. I can’t believe anyone would post any of them publicly. Plus, we all know that Rob’s twitter is @BertPatterson, ri? hehe!!

    • it’s lame to explain my own jokes.. but does everyone know i’m saying that b/c he’s the one who said “the cullen’s don’t come here?”

      sometimes i don’t think my jokes are obvious…..

      • I’m crying and had to take off my hoodie because I’m laughing so hard!! I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t catch that witty little way you made that joke. I suck though and it’s even more hilarious even though you had to explain it to me. I just laughed because I’m a perv and that’s all I noticed first time around. OMG, I’m still dying. You’re brilliant, my friend.

        M

      • I got it. He delivered his one line so beautifully how could I forget it? I assumed you were making a double entendre with that caption.

      • Bahahahaha! I thought you were just being dirty, UC. Little did I realise you were being dirty *and* witty. FTW!

  32. You are beyond Brills for this. I love it! I need to see what Wikki says about HotAlex seeing as how I suck at blogging. But we all already knew that.

    PS Bacon Infused Vodka in less than 72 hours.

  33. Everything about this is win. I’m seriously going to start answering wiki questions when I’m bored (re: never) just for fun.

    I’ll answer one now though:
    What kind of girls does Rob like?

    Well, first of all, he doesn’t like girls…they are only good for licking his hair into place (anyone? anyone?) he likes women. Older women. But just a few years older. Say…a 26 year old with brown hair, good teeth and ocassionally funny, but always witty. He says he doesnt’ like children but if he happened to meet an 8 and 3 year old little girl he would fall in love with them, just as he did with their mother. He likes women who analyze him on blogs and write songs about him. Women who completely lose their shit when he has scruff….

    Wait..I think I might have just described myself! WHO KNEW?!
    :) Happy Hump Day everyone!

    • “Well, first of all, he doesn’t like girls…they are only good for licking his hair into place (anyone? anyone?)”

      I GET IT! I GET IT! Virgins make his hair that way. I think. Right? Why do I second guess myself? Ugh. I think I’m right.

      M

    • noticed that the question says: “Is Robert Pattinson in love with Kristin… in real life” … they are totally asking about you! they already know about you and Rob! Hide from the papz!

  34. Sorry, had to change my name! Jaybird has died, or rather someone else wanted to be Jaybird, not sure why, but …

    I am loving this post. I will consult wikianswers from now on for my most important questions and now I am off to talk to youtube!

    By the way, I think your answers are more Magenta than purple, but oh well! Purple’s cool.

  35. Oh wikki, I thought it was for entertainment purposes only. And today I am entertained.

    Pictures of Rob in his bathrobe and slippers, if you want one you can come by my house around 6AM on Monday mornings!*a girl can dream*

    But I hear that he is at UC’s or Moon’s on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

    If loving Robert makes you a Lesbian I’m going to by a rainbow bracelet or something. Cause I just realized I’m apparently gay!
    Need to get on the Prop 8 bandwagon then because eventually I am going to want to get married.

    Hear that Rob your life partner wants a committment ceremony!

  36. you know what i love? that you think it’s “creepy” to have that slippers picture. since you obviously must have it yourself to repost it here.

    creep. ;)

    p.s. great post. these questions are ridiculous.
    and can i just say how tired i am of seeing rob in that HAT? it’s so fug, i think if i ever got the chance to meet him i’d waste it because i’d be too busy snatching that shit off his head & burning it. DON’T COVER UP THE SEX HAIR, ROB! (please?)

    • God that’s scuh a great picture, avatar thingy!

  37. Seriously??
    Isn’t anyone going to make the “I wikied that shit” reference?
    I’m just sayin’…

    • Any time I say “fucking delicious” I immediately follow it up with “shiny fucking curls” because I’m angstgoddess’ bitch. True story.

      M

      • OH, myria101, thank you for giving me a moment.

        Don’t be creeped out. It was a very special moment. I will treasure it for two hours.

    • I thank (hate) poochimama for directing me towards WA… It became my new crack when I thought I had nothing else to get addicted to..

      Thanks girlie!!

      Oh and.. I LOVE UNICORNS ;)

  38. And people wonder if our education system is competitive worldwide . . .

  39. This is off topic but I had to share. I was just at JC Penny and found this shirt (on clearance) that says:

    “I love guys that sparkle”

    I totally thought it was Twilight-related so I bought it! It even had sparkley stuff on it! :-)

    • If that WASN’T Twilight-related, I’m assuming there are actually guys out there that sparkle. If so, I would love to organize an expedition in search of the elusive, endangered sparklepeen. Who’s with me?

      • Sign me up! I live in AZ, so it is always sunny here. I will be on the look out.

      • Me too, I’m game!

  40. UC, no one else has noticed your total brilliance thus far, so I will:

    Purple (text) is cool!

    Haha!

    Also, you rock my world. Keep up this important public service – it’s you against the interwebs!

  41. ARE YOU SERIOUS?! ppl actually ask these?!?!?? GAH! that is sooooo irritating!
    as a twi-fan, i must say that i am slightly ashamed to hear ppl ask these.. (not that im defending kristin’s lack of appreciation for her fans) but i can kinda see why she’s so fed up. ugh.
    i heart rob’s face (and body, and sparkle peen) but to ask these kinds of questions./.!?!

    hahah.. great post as usual.. you guys always cheer me up :D

  42. Wow, that’s a bit uhm…creepy? People ask the strangest things. Anyways…enough of the “trying” to give an actually intelligent opinion…

    Watch this vid..it’s entertaining, and I’m sure some questions pertaining to “rob’s junk” will show up on wikipedia now..I just needed an outlet to watch this over and over again. I lol’ed.

    EMBED-Robert Pattinson Flashes Tweens – Watch more free videos

  43. I enjoyed this post.. very much.. and don`t really know what to say.. cause i`m still in shock..

    Teeny boppers are crrazy

  44. @southernbelle

    Um…
    yes we’all LUV that picture

    THANK YOU!

    For anyone that missed it; do yourself a fave:

    http://www.robertpattinsonau.com/2009/06/29/cap-tion-this/

  45. too funny! “Can I see those pictures when you’re done? Can you crop out Kristen first?” ha!

  46. LOTN?

    • Hi Jenny. How is the packing going???

      • Terrible! I’m the worst. Honestly. I have like… 4 things packed. At this rate I’ll be up all night.

        How are you?

        • At least you’d sleep during your flight that way! You’re going to have to get on the stick, girl!

          I’m doing OK. I talked to my sister for an hour and a half tonight. We kind of got behind on our catching up. I like your emails because they’re so long and you answer my questions! lol I’ll be getting back to you but it looks like there’s no hurry since you’ll be gone….

          • I’m terrible at sleeping on planes. I can sleep anytime, anywhere… except planes. I’ll be sleeping anyway, but it won’t be very restful.

            Awwe, that sounds nice. What did you guys catch up on? Anything juicy? ;) Yeah, sorry about the length of my emails… I swear I write a novel every time. I’ll have time to check it over there though, I’ll use Erin’s internet, and I may have free wireless in my hotel room.

          • With my sis–she’s newly engaged and they are in the process of reworking her house so that is a great way to get to know your future husband’s quirks and expectations! lol Her oldest son just made sargeant in the Marines. She’s reconnecting with lots of old friends through Facebook since our trip (which I forced her to go on) back to Iowa. Her crazy ex-housemate–male–she thinks stole her cat. (I worry about her because of some of the stunts he has pulled. He isn’t stable.) She just exchanged email addresses with her future step daughter who has started law school this fall to be a law librarian. She’s very excited about that because we’ve only had boys in the family and we need a girl! Is that juicy enough?

            I’ll plan to write back then, since you will be able to read it.

  47. Awe, congrats to her! That’s awesome. And I can see how remodeling a house would be a good way to get to know someone. It sounds dangerous! Haha Wow, sergeant! That’s intense. Is he the one with tattoos? Have you mentioned him before? Are you on Facebook, is that why you got her to sign up? The unstable ex-housemate sounds scary. Unstable people are never fun to be around. Law librarian automatically reminded me of Bella. And yes, it was juicy! Thank you!

    Good, I’ll need something to read while I’m over there.

  48. LOL! Yes, he’s the one with the tatts. Despite those two tattoos I talked about he is still a sweet guy with a beautiful face. Of course the Marines have toughened him but when he’s with family we still know his soul. I think he’s counting the days till release now.

    No, I’m not on Facebook. I forced her to take that trip with me.

    I’ll be OK if you want to work on your packing. What time is your flight?

    • He sounds like an Edward. That could work as a story line as well. EyeC, I think I found your next project…

      Oohh I see what you meant. You forced her to take the Iowa trip. I bet she’s glad that she did now!

      I’m almost done packing for tonight. I packed all my clothes, and I’ve made a list of the other stuff I have to pack tomorrow. I’m just going to write down all the addresses for postcards in my journal, and then fiddle with my ipod. So I’ll still be here. Oh, yeah, I may or may not read a bit of Letters to Gramercy too.

      My flight is at 4 pm, so I’ll probably leave here around 1 to get to the airport for 2. They tell you to show up 3 hours early, but since it’s a Thursday afternoon I think I’ll be fine.

  49. 4 pm is good. Three hours early? Yeah, I think 2 is enough.

    I’ll email you my address right now.

    I really liked Letters to Gramercy. The letter format has always been a favorite of mine. You know with all these stories it’s often either Bella or Edward with the emotional problems. They go back and forth and we can believe it either way. I think if we were to really know most people we would realize there are cracks inside. Yes, some are a whole lot worse than others but everybody lives with some kind of scars. Maybe that’s what intrigues me about all the fanfic. Each author brings pieces of themselves to the story and we learn from them.

    • Yeah, I think 2 hours is good enough too. I still have so much to do tomorrow morning, ugh.

      Got the address, thanks. Already added it to my journal.

      I really like Letters to Gramercy too, I’m glad you recommended it. There were a few others you mentioned in your email the other day that I’m anxious to read too. This one won’t take long to finish though, so I’ll be in the clear soon.

      • I just started Bella and the Billionaire and I think I’m going to like it. It has 32 chapters and is complete. Edward is socially inept but a sweetheart as Jasper, his college roommate, now buiness partner, brings Bella to his house/office as a possible personal assistant.

        I’m still in the middle of two other stories but needed a break. lol The Screamers has long chapters and the personalities are sort of intense. The other one has short chapters and all the good stuff has happened so it’s getting predictable.

        I remember that Lizzie said she whould give you Poughkeepsie when you meet up in London.

  50. Bella and the Billionaire? I like the sound of that already! Haha

    The Screamers sounds intense, just by the title.

    Lizzie said that? Haha Oh man, is she going to bring a stack of FF papers with her?!

    • B&B has Edward offering to double her salary to $100,000 in his first few sentences to her! LOL He’s so cute. He was one of these kids who started college at 14 and got his PhD 6 years later. Jasper is the business manager and just about choked. Next chapter, Bella has a little boy named Charlie and she’s living in a one room apartment. Yeah, I’m gonna like this one.

      The Screamers refers to the teenies who follow rock star Edward everywhere and he can’t deal with them. Sound familiar??? As the story moves along I would say that Bella and Edward themselves become screamers. *wink,wink*

      Yes, Lizzie was planning to take some stories with her to read on the plane. lol

      • Awwe, I love socially inept Edward, so cute! You’ll have to tell me how much you like it once you really get into it. I’m unsure of stories that put Bella or Edward with kids beforehand. The only one I ever read like that was The Red Line, and I wasn’t too keen on Edward having a daughter.

        Oohh rockstar Edward. Hot. And yeah, that does sound familiar. Haha Poor Rob, he’s such a sad panda.

        Lizzie’s hilarious. I hope she mumbles to herself when she reads – “cliff hucking floozy!” – and then the person she’s sitting next to starts talking to her about Twilight and fanfic.

        • LMAO! Lizzie just might do that, too. You wonder how many fanfic readers there are out there–must be in the millions!

          You’re right. Rob is a sad panda. I’m getting tired of being sad for him. I want so much for him to love life again. We’ll probably have a clue about where he is emotionally when/if he does the PR for NM.

          I find that when I read stories with one/both of them having kids that I’m smiling as I read. Maybe it’s our age difference. Not that I don’t love them being single and finding each other–I most certainly do! But when there are kids involved it always turns out with them as a happy family. Holding Out For You had them both with kids and it was an absorbing story. Those stories add variety.

          • Yeah. And leave it up to Lizzie to find a fellow FF lover on a plane!

            I imagine Rob will have to do PR for New Moon. Must be getting close to that time. That level of fame is so gross, poor guy. I would never want that in a million years. So awkward.

            It does add variety, I agree. I’ve never read one where Bella had a child, only when Edward did… so I have no idea about the two families merging.

          • I would guess that Rob never expected that level of fame either–at least not so fast! It’s a dilemma. Gotta take the bad with the good.


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