Posted by: UC | September 27, 2009

How I fell for Robert Pattinson: The Naughty Schoolgirl Edition

Enjoy another edition of “How I fell for Robert Pattinson”

Eat your heart out Edward Cullen

Eat your heart out Edward Cullen

Dear Rob,

I have a confession to make. It all started with a naughty Catholic schoolgirl outfit. Intrigued? Mmmm, yes I know you are.

Flash back to almost one year ago. I was standing in the cheesy Halloween superstore for about the fifth time, completely given up on finding any type of original costume, and ending up torn between the naughty schoolgirl referenced above…and a vampire. Finally, I decided to say eff it, grab some fangs, fake blood, and a cheap vinyl cape, throw it all on with my favorite LBD and spiky heels, and call it a day, Halloween not really being my thing.

Little did I know at the time how the appearance of anything related to vampires could spark that crazed look in a Twihard’s eyes, that my showing up in this outfit would result in another female at the party making a beeline for me and beginning to gush about the Twilight books, insisting that I read them. I uttered the party line we all said at one time or another before we were converted – “I’m not really into the whole vampire thing.”

She gave me that familiar knowing smile that I now offer to pretty much everyone I speak to, saying, “Just trust me. Read them.”

She then continued with the gushing, now moving on to the subject of the soon-to-be released movie, commenting on you specifically. “I’ve been in love with him forever,” she told me, “since Harry Potter, even though I felt like a pedophile. I just kept staring at the screen, thinking who is this beautiful, beautiful boy?”

How could this not DO anything for you?

How could this not DO anything for you?

And then I said it. Brace yourself Rob, because I did in fact say it, even if it pains me greatly to even think the words at this point. “Yeah, I’ve seen the pictures on Perez,” I replied flippantly. “He doesn’t really do anything for me.”

GASP! Will she or Won’t she fall for you!? Find out after the jump!

Dear God, Rob sometimes I wish I could go back to a time when you didn’t “really do anything for me,” because now you do lots of things for me, and none of them are good. But I’ll come back to that…

So I decided to see what all the fuss was about, bought the damn books, and proceeded to fall promptly head over heels in love with Edward Cullen. You? You, I could still take or leave. I studied you at the Twilight premiere and thought you looked like crap. Your pants were too tight, and I thought this alleged Sex Hair just looked like plain ol’ Crazy Person Hair. “He should walk around done up as Edward all the time,” I told my bff. “He looks better that way.” I watched you on Ellen, all for the love of Twilight, mind you, (the name Robert Pattinson meant little to me in comparison to the name Edward Cullen), and squinted hard at the TV, pondering why exactly Summit even allowed you to speak. (Although I must admit, I was a little bit captivated by how amusing you seemed to find yourself when you made that “scream at me in relationships” comment. Then I worried that you were actually going to choke on your own laughter.)

Then…things started to get weird.

That was you? That was you singing those raw, heart-wrenching words that ripped my heart out as Bella hovered between life and death? I mean….I’d heard that was you during mushroom ravioli…but…this too? And you…you played the piano growing up? And the guitar? And sometimes did this most charming thing of showing up at open mic nights?

How many bad outfits do I need to wear to prove I don't really care?

How many bad outfits do I need to wear to prove I don't really care?

And…those grubby clothes…they really weren’t for show, they really weren’t part of your so-called image, but seriously the only three shirts that you owned? Because you sure didn’t seem to be showing up in anything else. You really didn’t care?

You were really still smiling, and seeming happy and gracious about all this, and not showing up out on the town every night with a different hot, young Hollywood thing on your arm?

And you did those interviews? Those irresistible, adorkable interviews outside of ComicCon and with the Variety people where you really thought deeply about not only Edward Cullen but also your underwear? And the last time you cut your toenails?

Shit, Rob…I was starting to waiver.

And then you cut your hair off. It’s not that I loved your new look, mind you, but it did force me to see you in a new light. There was one picture captured of you where you were almost glaring at the camera from behind your RayBans, and all of a sudden it hit me that you Rob, apart from Edward Cullen, could be clean…I mean, hot.

Then you disappeared, taking my heart with you when you went. I think you were hiding away in the hotness bat cave or something, just waiting for the transformation to be complete. And then proceeded to step out on the Oscars’ red carpet looking like classy, walking sex, yet still your normal humble self. You said hi to your frickin’ mum. You flew off to Japan to make some Prada panty-melting stuff happen.

And by this point, Rob, I was done. I have no idea what happened to the guy who “didn’t really do anything for me,” but in his place had emerged what I now simply refer to as Sex on Fire. And on fire I was.

Can I pinpoint the exact date that I officially fell for you? Well, no I cannot, but I know it’s sometime around that point. And as Christians divide their historical calendar, I now divide mine into two distinct segments: B.R. and A.R. – Before Rob and After Rob.

Give me your panties "Okay"

"Have an orgasm now"

In the years B.R., I was what I believe to be a normal, well-adjusted woman in her twenties. I went to work and believe I actually focused on my job, sometimes even seeking out projects proactively to make good use of my time. I came home and went to the gym. I did SOMETHING to fill my hours at night, although now it’s a bit hard to remember what exactly that was. I may have read, I may have interacted with friends from the RW, I may have tried new recipes or something.

In the almost year A.R., I’m an addict. Work is what I do in between the times I’m checking the blogs for the latest updates on your whereabouts or orgasm-inducing photo shoot. Work is the place where I pray to God no one in any position of authority is actually pulling up my i-net browser history, because it would be a hell of a stretch trying to explain how hunterhunting’s blog educating the public on some very interesting piercings is relevant to my job. I do still go to the gym, but that’s only out of the necessity that I’m in tip top shape for the moment you actually choose to grace my life with your presence. Oh, and I do still read…but books? What the hell are they? No, my reading happens via the computer screen these days, where in my head I superimpose your face onto the bastard boss who’s bending his assistant over his desk or going down on her in a stairwell. (I’m depraved…I know.) These days, there’s a distinct line between the time devoted to my friends who don’t know of your greatness and those who do. Hell, I have to battle to find it in me to care about a Twi-virgin’s latest devastating break-up if a fellow Robsessor has just emailed me to let me know a photo has been released where I can kinda maybe sorta see a half inch of your boxers. And cooking? Forget about it. I’ll take Lean Cuisine any day of the week and twice on Sundays if it means that’s twenty more minutes I have to chat with people I’ve never met, but feel like my closest friends in the Twiliverse. I find myself using the word porTENtious. Sometimes I slip “lit’rally,” complete with the British pronunciation, into work presentations without realizing it, and am just waiting for someone to ask WTF that came from.

Most of the time, I believe myself to be a functional addict. I believe I’m still juggling the daily responsibilities of my day to day, not missing any mortgage payments, and sparing half an hour for my sig other now and again. And then sometimes, I know I’m just kidding myself, that I’m in way over my head, and there’s no cure in sight. Like May 25th for example, when I was rendered entirely effing useless, just sitting at my computer for hours on end hitting the refresh button like some kind of trained monkey. Recently I’ve been thinking that any moment the bad case of Mullet Goggles you’ve seem to have developed is going to shake me out of my stupor and remind me that you’re just a normal 23-year-old guy getting a piece where he can, but it doesn’t seem to be working, and I seem to remain utterly devoted to you even if you have moved on.

So nearly one year after I made the comment that now mocks me, claiming that you “didn’t really do anything for me,” I felt the need to sit back and reflect on how we got to this point. I may not know exactly WHEN it was, I may not know exactly WHAT it was (although biel’s videos always seem to do an amazing job honing in on it)…but I know that the damage is done. And that apparently it’s irreversible. You own me now, and I confess…I really wouldn’t have it any other way.

At the end of this, Rob, if you find that you’re fixating on the idea of that naughty schoolgirl costume and not listening to anything else I’ve said, perhaps I can make a suggestion? How ’bout this year I track down that mofo, you play the priest, and come on by to hear these aforementioned confessions in person? We can do this thing proper…I’m even willing to get down on my knees to beg for forgiveness…or other things. Most churches in the area seem to have a dumpster or two out back…

Tired of fighting the devil, so I’ve signed,

Naughty Schoolgirl

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Responses

  1. B.R. & A.R. . . Love it! I too stumbled upon Twilight. Swore – I would not convert to the mainstream! I easily skimmed over his pics on Perez, searching eagerly for Brangelina drama. Oscars (only watched to see possible cat fight between Jolie and Aniston) were still B.R. and B.T (Twilight) for me. I thought he seemed aloof, with this, “I have better things to do than this. . .” attitude. And then I started reading Twilight. . .

    Why or how can a perfectly normal (I use this term lightly) 30-something with 4 wonderful chillens and a great baby daddy go goo-goo for an awkward, but extremely seksi young 23 year-old who probably still enjoys getting sh*t faced drunk and passing out behind dumpsters? Plus, to still enjoy him when all the “he smells bad” rumors were spreading. I know better, I have an advanced degree, and a very clean husband.

    I feel like my A.R. life is similar to the SNL skit mentioned on a previous post of LTR, “REALLY?”

    And I too, am really jealous of my Twi-Virgin friends. Ohhh to experience that again!

    Thanks for a great laugh UC!

  2. Y’know… I also was once like you… oblivious to the sturm and drang of all things “Twilight”. My conversion came in March of this year. It was not pretty. I became a 40-something quivering, angsty mess. Every time I saw a pic of Mr. Pattinson I gasped like a fish out of water. I devoured him with my eyes every chance I got and it was maddening.

    Now… 6 months later… I’m doing much better. I still think he’s a good looking person… although I sadly suspect that in RL he is a weeny boy (in more ways than one) and that things “would never work out well for us” (LOL)! See? I even have a sense of humor about my former Robsession- there IS HOPE, ladies!

    Now if I can just get my TB fantasiesm under control! Forget Team Bill or Team Eric… I want Team “Both”!

    • TE all the way.

    • Oh Giddy, we are lost sisters. While I’m a 20 something I feel your pain. I was new to the game myself, it all hit me in December of 08, a friend turned me on( that’s what she said) to the books and I read them all in like 5 days. 5 long, sleepless, hate filled days. And then I realized that the movie was out and so I went to see it. There he was in all his sparklepeen glory…. hot in a not really kinda way that made me sooooo sad about my RL hubby who, in fact, did not sparkle.

      I have moved on… I found a way to live in this world without Robward, I even threw a handful of glitter at my honey one morning when he was coming out of the shower so that we could get dumpstery with it again. Sidebar, he was not amused. Yes Giddy, I ubderstand your pain, I too have felt the pang of loss and the thrill of discovery.

      TEAM ERIC!!!!!!

      http://aquiredtaste.wordpress.com/

    • @ giddyagain -
      TOTALLY AGREE – I am working on the Robsession thing as well and am making very good progress me thinks….
      However, deep down inside, I’ve always preferred his BFF TomStu.

      Lets see how it all goes once New Moon is released this Nov. and the whole PR stuff starts up again. I don’t think we will get as much Rob as we did first time around. I believe Summit will get the whole cast more involved in PR work, so we won’t get as much Rob porn as we are used too and that will help.

      And if that fails… their’s always (V & V) = vicodine and vodka to help numb you up.

      cheers,
      Dr. Hermes.

      • Dear Dr. Hermes,
        What do you suggest for someone who has absolutely no desire whatsoever for her Robsession to go away? And in fact does everything possible to feed it??

        I’m hoping for a major infusion of Rob this fall-interviews, covers, maybe SNL (fingers crossed). Less Rob makes my Robsession worse.

  3. “And then sometimes, I know I’m just kidding myself, that I’m in way over my head, and there’s no cure in sight. Like May 25th for example, when I was rendered entirely effing useless, just sitting at my computer for hours on end hitting the refresh button like some kind of trained monkey”

    I remember that day so fondly, even more fondly than when my children took their first steps or said their first words. It was also the day that I realized that my career advisor at school was crap and that she should have suggested “air brushing” to me instead of marketing :)

    x

  4. I must have separated from you at birth GiddyAgain. Ditto on the TwiTragic 40-something. And the only recent thing that is starting to shake the foundation of my TwiObsession is the Eric drool. And just love those YouTube Eric vs Edward efforts.

  5. I have a recurring nightmare of our tech guy walking over to my desk and saying one word – ‘hunterhunting’. Seriously, gives me chills just thinking about it but still can’t resist it…

    Feeling oddly exposed that naughty schoolgirl seems to have described my life so accurately, what the heck did all actually we do B.R?! x

    • My little fascination with Mr. Pattinson has waned as well because he was replaced by…..FANFICTION….I cannot get enough. I have to say I like the more mature versions of the Edward’s (I feel like there is a little army of them) out there in FF world and boy do I like them and all their lemony goodness! I actually feel sorry for young Rob…..can you imagine reading all that and feeling like you have to somehow live up to those expectations!!?? (Or they could be a training manual…….not a bad idea!!)

  6. That’s an awesome letter and I have to say it’s very similar to my story.

    Last yr when I saw the previews to Twilight, I believe the word I used was “hideous” in reference to Rob. I know, I know, blasphemy right? I haven’t read the books yet at that point and I’ve never heard of Rob until I saw the previews. I remember saying I’ll never watch that movie. Oh wow, how I ate those words.

    So fast forward to March and I did see Twilight when it came out on DVD. Hubby rented it and I watched it. Well then that was the beginning of my love affair with Rob. Well I guess I can’t call it a love affair because it’s not mutual :-(. I started to unveil at that point and then I found out he sings and plays guitar and piano. That was another huge step for me. I always fall for musicians! Then I started looking up his interviews on youtube, looking for pictures and blogs (this one). I read the whole series in a week. So all of this got me to where I am today and there’s no going back for me. I don’t know if I’ll ever get tired of him. He “does” it for me, although in the beginning it didn’t.

    I am now hooked for life and frankly I wouldn’t have it any other way. I know my husband would wish otherwise. :-)

    • Last year when I happened to see the Twilight trailer in the movies, unknowing what the hell it was, I said to my friend sitting next to me, “Hey, this movie looks good, its about vampires and I’m into anything vampires.’ And then i said,hey the guy that’s playing that vampire guy doesn’t look too bad either.” And I left it at that. Then, about two weeks later, I received EW magazine in the mail, and was looking through it, and saw a pic of Robert Pattinson as Edward, and I read the article and looked at the picture where it was just Rob as Rob and said his name. I stared at it for quite some time, and that was it, I WAS ROBsessed!! Started looking up everything on the internet about him, reading, drooling, lady-parts going nuts, but when I found out that I had just missed by ONE WEEK his appearance at a mall near me, i died!! I was SO MAD at myself for not knowing about this event and missing it.

      Of course, now my RobRadar is in full effect and I will NOT miss anything remotely in my area with Rob appearing at it So, here I am, one year later, even MORE ROBsessed than ever, and I’m quite satisfied with it, and very proud to say, “Hey, my name is Lynda and I’m a PattinSlut and completely ROBsessed, and I’m proud of it.”

  7. I love this letter, because it all sounds so horrifyingly familiar. The only difference is that I sometimes (stress the sometimes), wish I was in my B.R. years. Things made more sense back then, I don’t like being driven by inexplainable forces. But going cold turkey? Not a million years.

  8. Kill me if I ever wear anything even remotely resembling the first photo.

  9. LMAO!!! Todays letter is hilarious, because nearly every comment could be my own. It looks like I am not alone in reading Hunterhunting and googling what a ‘Prince Albert’ and a ‘vertical hood’ are. I fell in love in January after the goofy interviews and listening to him sing. God, that voice!!!!! I am not coming down from that high anytime soon. I’m just glad I’m in good company!!

  10. “…pondering why exactly Summit even allowed you to speak.”

    I still wonder why Summit allows thim to speak in public. Or why they haven’t drilled him in media training yet. Taycob may be a bit much, but something in between must be possible, right?

    • They did try. But I have read that they reported back to the studio that he “resisted media training”. I guess you can’t bleach the adorkable out of Rob…

      Not only does he have lovely long hands and fingers, he also has big feet, and knows exactly where to put them. (Yes, that’s right. In his mouth.) ;-)

  11. Long-time reader . . . first-time commenter :)
    Your blog is my guilty pleasure. I feel like you are the Simon Cowell of Rob blogs. Like Simon, some of the things you say make me uncomfortable, but I am usually in agreement, which then makes me feel like I’m committing Roblasphemy.

    So why am I exposing myself as a reader today? Because other than the Halloween costume/party, your journey to Robsanity mirrors mine exactly, right down to your description of the Ellen episode. I record her show every day. I remember watching that episode and thinking that I didn’t get what all the hype was about.

    This also gives me the opportunity to tell you what a great writer you are and what a clever concept Letters to Rob is.

    I am a 40+ mother of two college-aged children who had a normal life B.R. My sister keeps telling me I need to grow up (in truth, she’s been telling me that for years!), but I keep telling her that growing up is overrated. I don’t mind staying 17 forever ;)

    Lisa

    • thanks for the first comment, Lisa! I love the Simon Cowell comparison….hilarious! i always wanted to be like an old, single, angry british guy (not to be mistaken with the short, single, angry british guy we talked about on LTT yesterday!)

      hugs

  12. “but I know that the damage is done. And that apparently it’s irreversible. You own me now, and I confess…I really wouldn’t have it any other way.”

    I don’t know exactly when it happened for me either, but I do feel damaged or at least altered beyond repair…like some chip has been implanted in my brain that causes me to be on the internet every day searching…and if I don’t, then there is angst and want. I have never been owned this way by any other book/movie/actor (although I think the internet has a lot to do with this).

    Sometimes I feel like an idiot, but then realize that this is an escape for me from the reality of life… Which I think is a good thing for my sanity and of course these posts with there healthy dose of wit and sarcasm always lighten my day. I mean, how can one not appreciate what LTT has done for the people in the Twilight bubble. REALLY!!

    • “…like some chip has been implanted in my brain that causes me to be on the internet every day searching..”

      Hm, you don’t think Rob could possibly be something Microsoft conjured up to help get women addicted to their computers, women who were previously interested in completely different things, but now they have to get a new, personal computer to be able to browse at ease without anyone at home noticing? Have computer sales gone up since Twilight came out?

      Bill Gates, I am on to you! If you make another copy of “Rob” and drop him off at my place, I won’t tell the world about your dastardly plans…

  13. Yeah, I could’ve written this letter. Except for the fan fic – still staying away from that. I need to keep some sort of semblance of a real life.

  14. Just wanted to chime in here and say I, too, am a Rob Addict. Life changed completely for me last November when I first had the pleasure of laying eyes on him. My heart fell out of my chest the moment “Edward” walked into the cafeteria. I picked it up off the floor and placed it back in my chest, but, much to my dismay, it hasn’t functioned properly since. The force that propelled it flying out to the floor still does it to me today. Like, almost an entire year later. I see one new pic of him and there she flies. How can one man be so charming yet dorky, sexy yet cute, talented yet humble? Everything about him “draws me in”. Ick, now I’m using Twilight phrases. Really, girls, I only own the movie, the books, keychain, and a couple Edward shirts. Oh, and a magazine with Rob’s picture on every page. See, I’m almost sane. Right? Aww, piss, life is so bittersweet now! Bitter in that Rob’s not mine, but sweet because at least he exists and there is such a thing as the internet! Oh Rob, how I love you damnit!

  15. Today’s letter is the perfect example of why I love this blog and naughty girls who write it. I was at a party this weekend and they served me mushroom ravioli. I tried so hard to bite my tongue and not give myself away as a complete twiloser by yelling, ” this is what Bella ate on their first date!!!” And I did keep that comment to myself until my boyfriend asked me how my ravioli was – then I said it. Then the looks of confusion, pity and, disgust came. Needless to say, referencing Bella and Edward’s first date is not socially acceptable among non-Twifans. I was chagrinned. For real.

    P.s.- The HH reference was gold. I’m going to go read her update now.

    • Katie,

      This is so funny! The mushroom ravioli thing had me LMAO. I know just what you are saying. I just can’t believe you waited so long to say it. I would have just blurted it out with a case of word diarrhea. I put that background on my lap top of the green trees and the misty fog, you know because it reminds me of Forks. I told my husband I “just think it’s pretty” when he asked why I put “that” on my background.

      I think we should start a comment thread that begins with:

      Hi. My name is Loveme, and I am a Twi-addict. I show my addiction by:

      and just take it from there. Priceless at best, I am sure.

      Thanks for the laughs ladies, these posts are always WIN

      xo,
      me

      • Hahaha, thanks lovesme! I had a woodsy scene as a background on my work computer. My new coworker came into my office and said, “That looks like Forks!” We were friends ever since. All together- “Awwww!”

        We totally need an embarrassing Twi-moment letter. Or another one?

  16. Somewhere [in Vancouver] a girl with short black hair is crying in her Red Bull…

  17. I love this!

    I love this because I can relate, I remember way back when, seeing Goblet of Fire for the first time, so excited to see my literary crush Cedric Diggory on screen… and then being kind of disappointed at the actor they chose! He didn’t do anything for me back then. Then somewhere along the way all that changed. Now I watch GOF and my heart beats a little faster whenever Cedric comes on screen.

    I also loves this because it reminds me of all the reasons why I came to love Rob myself. The lack of pics and news lately has made me forget a little bit. Thanks for bringing me back!!

    • Speaking of Goblet of Fire. Just watched it again for the first time in years (yes, it was just to see Rob) and remembered why Rob wasn’t that memorable… he has literally like 3 lines the entire film!

      But seeing him in a tux, twirling around… I’ll let him lift me up anyday:)

  18. Oh my fellow robsters again I feel “normal” in this A.R world of mine. I am you and you are me-this letter and all your comments is so my history with rob and it makes me smile to know I am not alone or the crazy woman everyone I know thinks I am. You all solidify the fact that it is THEM who is crazy for not recognizing the beauty, hawtness, adorkableness and talent that is OUR rob-I pity them really.

  19. Love this letter! I never get to read the posts from the weekends until Monday, so this is a great treat! Today is my b-day and the hubs is wrapping presents with the kiddos, so he said to “get in the study and read my letters to Edward”! Thanks for making my day Naughty schoolgirl!

    • Happy Birthday!!

  20. Thank you! It’s great to come here and feel relatively normal for a short period of time, before going back to the non-Robsessed world I live in.

    Seeing Rob as Edward in Twilight was an epiphany (yes, I did use that word BT, actually) – not only was he the most perfect Edward, I had never dreamed that this Cedric-person had it in him, being that awkward, red-cheeked mama’s boy in HP. Respect!

    Then seeing him in interviews made me weak in the knees, charmed and embarrassed at the same time, and before I knew it, I, like you, was lost – there is no going back, even if I sometimes wish I could.

    For escapism, nothing beats this, well, maybe a really good book/concert and a bottle of champagne? Bring on the Rob!

  21. I love these Sunday “How I fell for RPattz” posts! Such a great idea. I heart your blog so much. Thanks for the laughs!

    2sistersblog.com

    • oh good!!! Thanks for telling us you like them! I love posting them- all the submissions are SO well written!

  22. So funny, yet accurate. Sometimes I’m afraid that I’m purposely trying to get fired by spending most of my day reading LTT and LTR archives. What if I’m exposed by IT? Well, then the whole work thing won’t be in the way of my obsession. At home, I do use my personal laptop that was purchased for work purposes and no one else can touch to shamelessly search for any Rob related tidbit knowing that I will not be discovered. Though I think my husband is becoming suspicious of how often I slam it shut when he comes to see why I’ve been in the bedroom with the door shut for so long. Oh it’s difficult to live a secret double life. I too go to the gym to keep fit for that inevitable fateful meeting. And sadly, yes, I too find myself slipping in an occasional British accent at innoportune moments. Have even started slipping a little and quoting Twilight to my husband. I think he’s becoming concerned. Although he may not complain because he is reaping the benefits of my unrequited (obsession) fondness for Rob.

  23. So glad I’m not the only one afraid that one day the techs in IT will peruse the websites visited on the server and find my Hunterhunting blog reads! I feel so guilty reading it at work but it’s the only time I have to read it.

    I too am nearly a year AR in my life and I often find myself wondering where I found any pleasure in my life BR. I mean I remember liking things and puttering along just fine but now I’m all giddy again like a schoolgirl with a crush….and I wouldn’t change it for the world!

    DG

    • no, no. You are NOT alone there. I’ve got my finger on the minimize button like it’s a trigger, just in case anyone walks by to find me not working but rather reading LTT/LTR. My boss already thinks I’m insane. His nickname for me is “Sparkles,” and anything on my screen remotely Twilight-related gets me plenty of grief.

      That’s the price of being “out” at work, although they only know the tip of the iceberg… Watching Little Ashes twice in one week at the arthouse theater, just so that I can watch Rob’s hands and eyes and lips (and some rather incredible acting)…yeah, they don’t need to know that. =)

  24. P.S. Robbie, don’t worry about my husband reaping benefits that clearly belong to you. He’s just keeping me warm for you.

    Kisses.

  25. You know, this was my EXACT same story.

    I fell for him when I watched Twilight in the theatre…and then I saw it over and over and over again!

    I really fell for him though when I heard him SING.

    *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*

    Oh Rob. Life will never be the same.

    MWAH.
    Ash

  26. Long time reader, first time commenter……I agree with all of you. I am a 43 year old Grandmother, and obsessed. I saw a co worker reading the book, and I didn’t have any books I was currently reading, so asked for it after he was done, stayed up all night reading it, ran out to the store and bought the other 3 immediately. Read them all, and became obsessed. When he was cast as Cedric Diggory, I couldn’t believe it, I even told my daughter, I thought Cedric was supposed to be gorgeous. Now I regret those words. I have thousands of pics of him saved to my computer, when my daughter was giving birth, I was trying to talk her into naming her daughter Bella, my daughter still hasn’t read the books, but I guess having a baby interferes with her free time. I have a Bella bracelet, which I wear all the time, I have about 10 Twilight t-shirts, and since I am taking a vacation to San Diego in a couple of weeks, I have decided to drive up to Seattle to see my sister.Yeah, right the real reason is I AM GOING TO FORKS!!!! Yes I am driving 18 hours while on vacation to go to a town where a fictional story took place. I am not normally like this. I never spend money on myself, until Twilight. I even bought an ipod touch because there is a Twilight application, and my old ipod didn’t fit all 4 audio books. But what fun, so glad I found this site.

    • Sally – love your comments. . . I too have thought about a quick jaunt to Forks, maybe a day trip to Vancouver – if filming. And when I say quick jaunt, I mean 30 hour drive from the Midwest to Washington, with 4 kids and a nonsparkly husband. WOW – crazy. . .

      I see you also have a love for Twilight clothes. Please read LTR’s archives about the PPL (Pattinson Pant Lady). You will need professional help if you pair your Twilight attire with the Pattinson Pants. You don’t want your grand-daughter to have nightmares.

      Love the idea of naming your grand-daughter, Bella. I get it. . . We almost named our 4th child, Robert (after my father-in-law), plus my nonsparkle husband is named, Edward. I don’t think my 10 year-old daughter would mind a name change (Bella or Alice). That would be normal right?

      Keep up the comments. It’s nice to let it all out.

      • I promise, no Pattinson Pants, maybe Pattinson Pajama Pants, but not in public, lol

      • I love the references to your non-sparkly husband.
        Alas, mine does not sparkle, either.

        xo,
        me

  27. I was never into Harry Potter, but I saw Goblet of Fire and Cedric’s tragic end. And I remember thinking that if Cedric has been the lead I might have actually gotten into it. Now there was no need to watch any more. And that was before Twilight was a gleam…

    I was one of those who resisted reading the books even after I saw the movie the first time. I thought the movie was okay, but kind of confusing. It had just enough good bits in it though that I bought the dvd when it came out. And the second viewing was better. And the third better still and then I had to get the books. Which then made me understand the movie so much better…which made me have to read the books again …it was a vicious cycle. LOL

    This was in April and the official start of AR. I can totally relate to almost all of the symptoms of the addiction except I’m pretty lucky that I have one of the few husbands who actually likes Twilight as much as I do, albeit for maybe different reasons. *g* We have many long discussions about the Twilight saga and he even lets me talk a little about Rob. What a guy! Of course that’s just a little. I lurk around the web to get my daily Rob fixes. Thank god there are so many pushers out there willing to feed my addiction.

    LTR is one of the best. I enjoy the hell out of them. And you listening to you all really helps me not feel quite so freakish. Quite…

  28. Mullet goggles..hilarious.

    I never thought Rob was unattractive-but it wasn’t until I’d seen some of his interviews that I knew all was lost.

  29. I can’t help remembering those letters from earlier in the summer from some women who wrote and said how their obsession with Rob helped them loose like 100 lb. My mind is still reeling over that.

    In anycase… lets see how the PR stuff goes. like i mentioned before I don’t think we will get as much Rob porn appearences this time around for New Moon, simply because they will have other cast members do more of the PR work instead of just Robb and Kstewie.

    BECAUSE….

    It was way too much for Robbie last time to handle all of it. He was unraveling before our eyes.

  30. @Sally, did you say “he” when referring to your coworker? A unicorn in your midst?!

    • Yes, he, but unfortunately, he didn’t even finish the first book, was just reading it because he wanted to impress a girl, needless to say, he didn’t impress her. But I did buy and send copies of all of the books to an old boyfriend, and he read them, and loved them. So yeah, I know a unicorn, and he will even discuss them with me. Also we have a guy staying where I work, at a hotel, he has been here on and off since April, they do some local roofing, and I feel free to discuss my obsession with him, introduced him to the movie, then loaned him Twilight, and now he is reading New Moon, this morning he came down to breakfast and informed me that the pack is openly phasing in front of Bella now. He is tons of fun to hang with. We are both Robsessed!!

  31. What happened on May 25th?

    • Ya what happened on may 25th? I remember acting that way when rob ended up driving down the road in his dad car after supposedly leaving kristens house but I don’t think that was on may 25th

  32. OMG, UC. That’s it. You and I are the same person. You’ve hit the nail right on the head (that’s what she said).

    I need say no more.

  33. Love this letter. Thanks for putting it all out there as I would never have the words or bravery to do. I love that I have a place to go where I can laugh at..I mean with..Rob. I also relish in the idea that I am not a complete loss with my love for all things Rob because there are others out there that are as enlightened as I am.

  34. [...] How I fell for Robert Pattinson: The Naughty Schoolgirl Edition Enjoy another edition of “How I fell for Robert Pattinson” Dear Rob, I have a confession to make. It all [...] [...]

  35. I can’t believe what I’m saying but, thanks to LTR, I freakin love Sundays!!! “How I fell for Robert Pattinson” is one of the most wonderful ideas you’ve ever had, girls !!!!!!

    “I now divide mine into two distinct segments: B.R. and A.R.” o.O_________totally agree, this is my new mantra!!

    Thank YOU so much!!!!!


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