Posted by: themoonisdown | August 17, 2009

Robert Pattinson’s Fiance Speaks Out!

Wow, those jalepenos on your nachos were really strong, I can totally smell them all the way over here

Wow, those jalepenos on your nachos were really strong, I can totally smell your breath all the way over here

Dear Rob,

Saturday, I woke up to the best news ever… It was reported that you were engaged and I was elated because after four years you finally decided to tell everyone about our relationship. Yes folks, Robert Pattinson and I have been together for 4 years and yes, we finally decided to make it official! I would no longer have to stay in LA slaving away as if I was a normal gal with a regular life and no mysterious long distance boyfriend who only came around occasionally and left me to blog about vampires with all my spare time. We could finally be together, no shame, no secrets, no lies. We were engaged and you spilled the beans to Allie Wired of all places! Joy filled my heart to say the least. 

But then Sunday I woke up to the saddest sound I’ve ever heard.  What’s that sound I heard? Yup, it was the sound of a million hearts breaking in unison and the sound of my own finally deciding to call you on your shit! You’re cheating on me, your finace! In public with your costar at a Kings of Leon concert of all places! How will I ever listen to Soft again now?

I won’t even tell you about how sad Clare and Dick are… they called me together this morning upset and wanting to know what they could do. You know how they get on two receievers in seperate rooms and talk over each other? Yea, thanks for putting me through that this morning at 7am. I can’t bear it when Dick gets upset and sobs. What a wreck.

Shhhh if I hid in this shadow my fiance will NEVER see these pictures of us at a KOL concert!

Shhhh if I hid in this shadow my fiance will NEVER see these pictures of us at a KOL concert!

And even though I’m not 100% convinced you were kissing in that picture, because from the angle of it you would have had to have an owl neck to make that work, and honey we ALL know you’re not that flexible NOR coordinated. Nevertheless your behavior tells me that not only are you cheating on ME, you’re cheating on US and what we have, and what we have is special! Who else writes fake letters to you everyday?! Ok, besides UC. WHO?! Who else combs the internet looking for awkward pictures of you and videos of you and TomStu set to Clay Aiken songs? Ok maybe some other people. But tell me who has only watched half the movies you’ve ever made but still writes a blog about you? Yea ME! And when you’re ready to admit that you know where you can find me ( ironing Bobby‘s plaid shirts) but until then I’m moving on to greener pastures. And by pastures, obviously I mean Xavier‘s hotel room.

The other woman,
Themoonisdown

*for the truly stupid. DUH I am not Rob Pattinson’s Fiance. Just his girlfriend*

Follow the cut to see the ‘cheated on but I’m alright’ playlist I’ve come up with to get me through this time


Seriously, Rob am I alone in this relationship?


I wanna hear everyone sing this with me! And GO!


This will be your theme song Rob, trust me.


Heartless = you


my original boyfriend sang it best…

-Go laugh at some Monday Funnies with UC at LetterstoTwilight
-Cry yourself a river over at the forum

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Responses

  1. Hm. I don’t know. I still don’t buy it. And heartbreak is a bitch indeed. Sing Celine, sing!

    • Love you for not believing! She could be picking lint off his beanie. That picture is too grainy to make me crumple up on the floor in a sobbing heap.

      • I love the implication that you would totally be crumpled up on the floor in a sobbing heap if the picture taker had a better camera.

        • haha. I need clear, hard evidence.

          • that’s what she said

          • Why they don’t just come out of the friggin’ hotel room, confirm the bad news, break our hearts, and allow us to move on??? “I don’t like double standards” c.o.l.– as in crying out loud…;)

          • it’s obvious that K was just whispering something to him. look at rob. freakin paps, one of these days they’ll get me a heart attack.

            awww, i love rob’s pink cheeks, btw!!! so cute!

        • OH GOD. The floor is the next level,the one that is an upgrade from now. Right now I feel betrayed, I’m going around town spray painting ROBSTEN SUCKS on every dumpster as an inside statement of heart break between me and Rob. The dumpster part being of real significance here. I hope tomorrow new pictures will come out where he is right in her face screaming that he hates her and that her mullet makes her look like a trailer park bella. That’s what happened, it’s okay, it’s okay. He would never hook up with her( reassuring myself, patting myself on the back soothingly).

    • taking the devils advocate point of view..

      Not that Robbies hookups matter, (except TomStu), but Robsten should get a Golden Globe nomination for the best “Faux couple” of the year award
      as Robstene continues to bring free publicity to the Twilight franchise for Summit. Hope this particular strategy does not back fire on them and the fangirls go elsewhere, which maybe what Robbie wants possibly?
      Just a thought.
      What a PR strategy if it is the case.

      • The plot thickens…

        • heh heh .. ok, so I’m a conspiracy theorists as well as a marketing hick. I can’t help it. I love to look at things from different angles.

          Like.. if I were in charge of PR for a movie that had two previous unknown actors, and a cheap studio that wouldnt cut buck$$ for a decent campaign (and we know how Summit loves to spend money, the cheapos)… this sort of stuff is worth gold in free publicity.

          But alas, our hearts do not think in terms of business, but in how broken it feels… but we’ll get over it.

          So Moon/UC what’s next?
          ps. congrats on getting Stef Meyers shout out from her web site.

          • I agree, I think it’s entirely possible that it’s all a PR stunt. I’m sure tammyO would beg to differ.lol.

  2. OMG NOOOO!!!!! Ok just know that my heart is truly BROKEN when I saw those pics…what a shitty way to start the week!! :(

  3. Thanks Moon and good morning everyone! I saw those pics but like you I feel that they weren’t kissing but pretty close though. The photos were all very intimate. The people around them don’t act like they care though LOL.

    Your playlist is perfect! I’m ok, I moved on…I will survive, ha!

  4. I’m gonna be the biatch that kills the drama here but… has anyone ever been able to say something to someone at a concert at a greater distance than Rob and Kristen’s faces are? I think not. These pictures are just proof that Rob and Kristen have normal human hearing.

    • You know I like your logic and response better than mine…I guess i’m just melodramatic!!! LOL Thats totes normal for me!!! :)

    • Me too!

    • Thank you, I was just about to write the same thing. Anyone who’s ever been to a concert knows you have to get right in someone’s face and practically scream to be heard.

      • Why did THEY have to seat next to each other? I would prefer Rob and Taylor have a conversation like that. Or Jackson, or Kellan
        Really: why her?

        • I know-WHAT is the attraction? Doesn’t he have anything to talk about with the guys?

        • Roger that…but he falls for every girl he works with…when all the twilight movies are completed I’ll be surprised that their relationship last 6 months after…here’s to hoping (*gulp of a shot of tequila so I can make it through the heartache)

          • hey can anyone tell me how to change the monster pic for a different one…I can’t figure it out?!? thanks + luv u guys buunches, (*sniffle)

            Misty I can’t reply but I can edit your comment (This is UC) sign up for a wordpress.com account (you don’t have to start a blog) OR a gravatar.com account!)

          • thanks uc, I set one up, “mistydreams” it’s called…now what?!? soooo computer ill.,

          • i think there’s a place to edit your account? Edit profile? Then you can upload a pic! it takes a few times to show the picture though!

          • Should have made it a double!..Gulp..Gulp!

        • Maaaaybe, she is actually really fun to hang out with…

          Naaaaah who am I kiddin’, she totally lets Rob grope her in the restroom.

          • Love it!

    • I totally agree. I don’t see any lip lock here. When I see it, I’ll believe it!

      • Re: Kissing on screen.

        well now.. if they really are a “couple” as everyone is purporting them to be, lets look out for some real kissing on screen, you know WITH TONGUE, yeah, that type of kissing, not the faux/false kissing that they do, where they grip each other upper lip and press.. (ever see that, now days actors never really give each other a real kiss.

        So if there a real couple, I wanna see some tonuge passed around up their on the big screen.. What do you all say?

    • A-friggen-men

    • Um…ok, I’m not saying they’re together because
      A) I could care less.
      B) I’m not deluded.
      C) I have a life.
      D) Whatever.

      But here’s the deal…everyone keeps going on and on about how they have to be in each other’s faces so that they can hear over the deliciousness that is Caleb Followill’s voice singing “I’m passed out in your garden, I’m in, I can’t get off…so….soft…” Ok. I see that logic.

      Tell me then, why are the rest of the cast, present along with Robert & Kristen, not in each other’s faces? Why are they not sitting thigh to thigh, faces centimeters from each other? Surely there was discussion amongst the ranks….friendly banter…fun playfullness. You know Kellan & Jackson were telling dirty jokes and macking on hottie wannabes throughout the evening. I mean, a group of good friends would had to have had a few laughs during this performance. Right? But were the other cast members sharing these laughs almost cheek to cheek? No. No, they were not.

      That’s all I’m sayin’.

      Let go, y’all. Just let go. And let God. And be happy. Regardless.
      XOXO

      • Oh you and your well thought out argument full of logic and reasoning…

        • Wow. Are you being mean? ‘Cause I wasn’t being mean at all. I’m all about the love and fellowship of LTR people. We’re one big, happy, dysfunctional family.

          Amen.

          • I’m not. Sorry. Sarcasm fail on my part. I find you totally hilarious. And I had just finished posting a comment that your totally logical and level-headed comment contradicted…. I was having a laugh at myself over it and now, looking back, my comment sounds horrible. Yikes. Look what Monday has done to me!

          • LA HeyyyyBrother is our new soulmate. and you need to love her now.

            HeyyyyElder

          • @UC: hahahaha — <3 you, and just for you: Heyyyy Blogger.

            And @Leigh Anne — really am sorry for that confusion. For those that don't know me at all, my sarcasm doesn't always translate through the interwebs. I regularly forget this. Maybe I need to use more emoticons? Anyway, let's be bff's? Or, to start, let's just make peace and settle for being fellow commenters who worship the likes of UC and Moon in perfect Rob-loving harmony. Huzzah!

            Wow, I'm really getting no work done today. I've left like 413 comments.

          • haha.. use more emoticons!

      • I personally think they are that close together cause he buys her beer.. you gotta stuck up to the “of age” guy who’s willin to be your supplier…. KIDDING!!! RELAX KIDS!

        • I’d totally agree with that, too. If 19 wasn’t legal drinking age in Canada. 50 bucks says SHE bought those beers for HIM.

          • AH… see I did not know that.. ok well if she did buy the beer I hope she took advantage of him afterward.. cause I sure would! :)

          • @ Kelly, your right. she probably bought him the brews.. cuz we all know, drunk Rob is the best Rob!

      • Because Jackson is actually enjoying the concert and Kellan is texting someone that “Yo, KStew and RPattz are totes making out right in front of me….check it, bro *click & send*”

        M

        PS – bwahahahaha!!!! Just jokes, bruddah!!

    • <3 you for being a fascilitater, so trying to keep it the way I want it……

    • I said the same thing on twitter!! This is like “who was the second gunman on the grassy knoll” like investigative reporting. Have you seen the insane blog break downs with the arrows pointing out where their hands are and ears and all that stuff? It’s completely ridiculous.

      M

      • Goodness this whole Robsten has gotten more intense than usual. The drama!
        I always wondered why it matters that they are “together”?
        Can anyone say?
        Cuz curious minds wanna know :)

        • Same here! It’s very likely that if/when we figure out they’re together, they might not be any more, and then what?!?! Will this endless speculation drag on for years, until RP is 30 and decides to get hitched, move back to UK, and have babies?? *sigh*

          • @ Liz:
            By the time he’s 30, Rob and TomStu will have a wedding in San Francisco and adopt. I’ll be maid of honor of course, and surrograte for their babies (the natural way of course)! ;)
            xH

          • @hermes I <3 your love for RobStu.
            I could live with this idea of them being married and having kids (though I'll be the one having their babies, no offense)

          • This makes me think of the convo I had w/ my hubby the other day.
            I finally broke down and admitted that I think they are prob f*cking at least.
            His reply: NO they’re not!
            me: what??? you never cared before when I was talking about Rob. What makes you think they aren’t f*cking?
            him: Because he’s gay!!!
            me: Shutup…he’s not gay…damn you…every man I think is attractive besides you, you automatically think is gay.
            *irritated glare at husband*

            So there it is (my hubby says it, so it must be true LOL)
            there is no Robsten, it’s all about the Robstu!!!

    • My sentiments exactly.

  5. It’ll be ok, Moon. We’re headed your way with pints of ice cream and Bridget Jones DVDs. We’ll get you through this!

    • LOL, I was totally thinking Bridget Jones with the Celine song, I love that part in the movie!!

  6. Ok, so I’m a little confused here, how could you have been his fiancee when he proposed to ME? He always told me I was the only one…

    I guess I’ll just have to listen to that amazing playlist on repeat until I get over you Rob, which will take all of 2 hours :)

    As for the pics, I don’t think they’re kissing, but they do look like they’re *ahem* having a good time and are in their own little world. I think robsessed said it best – Robsten: A Hobolicious Love Story

    • your avi monster looks like a Pac-Man ghost after you eat the power bubble dealy.

      M

    • Didn’t he admit to proposing to LOTS of girls back when they were filming Twilight? LOL. Btw, my name’s “Veronica”…or is it “Caroline?”

    • he proposed to YOU too?!!!

      he’s such a man slut!

      • You bet he did! I like the term man-whore. it has a nice ring to it.

        • Man-whore is one of my favorite terms, i have a guy friend that i call a man-whore all the time, it’s a term of endearment

  7. I was a little disappointed when I saw those pics last night. Thanks for forever ruining KoL for me, Rob.
    I’m not overly concerned, though. It was dark, you were drunk (given), and you probably thought it was TomStu you were “canoodling” with. Whatever that means.
    Did you vomit a little when you realized it was Kstew? Or, ever the gentleman, give her a little peck to salvage her feelings? Whatever, just don’t let it happen again, OK? Please.

    • dazzledtodeath you are cracking me up! LOL.

      • Wahh I try and be funny and I get a thumbs down.

    • @ Dazzled.. <3
      "canoodling with TomStu"

      Oh TomStu, my little broken hearted cupcake must be crying a river… (sniff sniff). Unless he knows Robbies a slut.. and therefore he'll welcome that douchetard, fuktwit, HeWhore back with open arms.

      oh the inhumanity of it all.. (sob sob).
      ;)

  8. First, Soft = Best KOL song ever. Okay, maybe there are closer to 10 of them that are my absolute favorites. But you get the point, right?

    And I don’t think they are kissing in that picture either. I’ll try to believe the hobolicious when there’s an unobstructed view

    • Re: SOFT.

      Soft is about a guy having a flacid penis/peni.
      My fav.KOL song if I’m going to invision Kstew and Robbie together.
      hee hee :P

  9. Your heartbreak playlist looks a lot like mine. Let’s add Queens of the Stone Age’s “Another Love Song” and Anna David’s “F*ck You”.

    You just wait it out, Moon. Do you think Kristen’s going to put up with his crap? Sew Vodka Shirt back together for him? Make midnight runs to 7-11 for Heineken, Camels and Hot Pockets? Spend their anniversary at Arby’s? No, I think it takes a special level commitment to ride the Rob train for long, and she’s not woman enough to handle it.

    • i alway’s add a little sinead o’Connor – nothing compares, Tony Braxton – Unbreak my heart and REM – everybody Hurts in to the mix myself..

      • Anyone adding NIN’s “Something I can Never Have”? Too angsty? Impossible!

      • REM!!!! so perfect for the list!

        • REM is one of my favorite bands ever… but, I absolutely HATE that song! It might even be number 1 on my “change the radio quick before I bore my ears out with a power drill” song list. I’ve never been able to figure out why it’s so popular…

          That being said, it absolutely belongs on the heartbreak playlist…

    • Love that she included Nazareth hilarious.

      The whole list really cracked me up.

      I’d add in Ani Difranco’s Untouchable Face. Seems a good one for this situation.

  10. Today is when we need the “Drama Button”. Hit it!!

  11. This has got to be the funniest reaction to the “intimate pics @ KOL concert” I’ve read! Love how you tied in the “fiancee” rumor. Another great letter, Moon! :)

    • no problem! just doing what any other scored fiance would do! take to the internets!

  12. Moon, we’re gonna have to fight over JT because he is so totally MY original boyfriend. I’ve had dibs on him since the New Mickey Mouse Club!

    Anyhoo, even if Rob and Kristen are actually together (please god no!), I don’t think it will last too long. They’re young, and he’ll find out soon enough that she’s dull and come looking for me. At which point I’ll tell him that his junk must be thoroughly cleaned before we get down to business because he used to tap someone with a mullet. And that makes him unclean.

    • Love it-thoroughly clean his junk.(raises hand) I can do that. Actually I think he’ll need full-body disinfecting. Who knows what’s in that mullet.

      • @ dazzled… better watch out.. that mullet has teeth I hear, and bites (be careful cuz it doesnt have its shots).

        • Not to worry, I’ll be in a hazmat suit . And I’ll get a tetanus shot.

  13. I’ve been going back and forth on these picture since last night. At first I was like, woah, they’re totally kissing or doing something akin to that, come on. And my heart sank. But then I was like, waiiiiiiiiit a minute, 1) you can’t see anything 2)they’re at a concert, they HAVE to be so close to talk to each other and 3) in that picture you can kinda see Rob’s ear which means his other ear is what’s next to Kristen’s face, not his mouth. So until I see an actual non-blurry picture of them kissing, I won’t believe it. And then I rejoyed. But then again I go like, they’re so intimate, they can’t not be at least fucking. I don’t need no damn picture to tell me that. And so on and on.

    But really, my poor heart can’t take this anymore. And I’m (almost not) kidding. Just come out with it, ok, either way? Just so I can go on (this time I am kidding). But I do mean just so we can focus on other things. Like how fucking hot Xavier is.

    PS. I desperately need a hobby/a man (or both). Any suggestions?

    • How old is Xavier? He is sorta hot too in a very sterile kind of way.

      Ach -I’d say go for both. That way if one fails, you still got the other one to keep you sane KWIM? I know I need a hobby (aside from lollygagging on LTR :-).

      • “very sterile kind of way”

        LOL. Rob has ruined us with all of his dirty.

        • Yeah I know and I am usually grossed out by dirty(reminds me of my brother) but Rob is different. Lemme go check out this Xavier dude…or maybe I’ll start crushing on Jared Padalecki again.

        • Exactly.

          Don’t get me wrong… I’d totally do Xavier. But, he doesn’t do it for me like Rob does. ‘Tis a pity…

      • we’re told he is 25!!!!!!!!!! and that made us happy!

        • 25! Yeah that makes me happy! :-).

          • i like how 25 is now considered “older”….only in this dirty little twilight world

          • Ummm… that still makes me a total perv.

          • oooo a dude my own age instead of slightly younger… DIBS!

  14. Wow. If these are even remotely true (like he actually allowed the sparklepeen to be defiled like that) he is completely dead to me. And I am officially grossed out.

    They both look really dirty and sweaty and not in the good kind of way.

    Hobolicious is for certain…and honestly, only TomStu can make that sexy.

    • TomStu!!! (waahh) I miss the hobolicous bromance.

  15. You will survive Moon. Love No Sunshine!
    So sorry you had to get Dick sobbing on the phone…

    I guess I have a good reason to go back to my real life and the people who love and need me…Sigh! It was good though to feel young again :-))

  16. I think “You Oughta Know” should be added to the playlist….cause you know she’d go down on him in a (loud, sweaty, dirty, KOL playin) theatre.

    • and just to be clear, so would i

      • um, i’m not a skank, but so would i.
        in the most skanky way possible.

    • Yesss! My favorite breakup song!

  17. I think I’m the only one who actually doesn’t mind if Robsten is together. In fact, I squeed a little when I saw the photos. If he’s happy then I’m happy. However, he’s got some explaining to do because this morning he was still laying in my bed.

    • No you’re not the only one. I want him to be happy too(whoever it is that makes him happy)…I guess I was just sayin. I mean who wouldn’t want Robert Pattinson you know? Even if it was just in our dreams.

    • I want him to be happy.. I just don’t see it… it’s all good.. as long as he’s smiling cause we all love the smile … but I don’t see it that’s all

    • nope not the only one…

    • Me too, Jena.

    • Jena! I totally added you on facebook and thanks for adding me back! I’m such a dork. I saw your name and was like “that’s a Twifriend!” Lame, I know. But thanks for the add. ;)

      • YAY! You’re welcome! I didn’t know that was you but I do now!

    • Jena you know I <3 you and I truely want Rob happy….. if only she would smile, I could handle it……

    • Kristen deserves to be happy too :)

    • I also don’t care who does who and why. I just like to be informed about the when :p.

      So let’s all go to our happy place.

  18. Moon, love this! Oh but it makes me LOL that you have to put the disclaimer at the bottom. Seriously people really believe what y’all say! lol

    • I didn’t mean that as a bad thing, just that ppl don’t realize when your joking! lol

    • the crrazies believe we’re for real… crazy! hahaa

  19. They. Are. Doin’. It.

    Nuff said.

    Happy Monday!!!

    ps….passing out hot pockets to the broken hearted. :)

    • I’m gonna need two please.

      • screw the hot pockets, give me a bottle of jacks.

    • Im gonna have to give that a tumbs down but I agree 100% they definitely are doing it… hello body language!!

      Moon you need to add: How to Mend a Broken Heart by Al Green to your cheated on but I’m alright playlist! Cheer up Chicken Im sure Rob will get sick of Kstew eventually :P

    • How about a pepperoni pizza? I need something stronger..

    • I think they are doing it too. Pass me some hotpockets please LOL. Oh and like MariaCecilia said, yeah pizza sounds great too. Throw in some Guiness in there too, or maybe a Mimosa!

    • ef the hot pockets, where’s the stoli??

      • Eff the stoli…gimme Patron…and keep the salt.

  20. You gals never cease to amaze me! I love starting my day off reading what you have to say – and wishing that I could be half that damned witty and entertaining! Ya’ll Rock! With that said, my emotions are conflicted – Rob looks very happy, so I’m happy. But I’m also depressed. A little too invested methinks. Oh well – this fantasy world is so much better than the real thing – so what the hell! :) Keep up the good work chickees!

  21. OK first and foremost.. Moon.. you are quickly becoming one of my heros… your originality never ceases to amaze me.. and the laugh factor.. I swear I need to listen to myself and not check your blog when I am at work because I always LAUGH OUT LOUD and people look at me wondering what I’m not doing :).. but then… I can’t not check it, because I need to laugh! You make me smile almost as much as “he” does.. although, today you probably made me smile more! LOVE IT! Totally Girl crushing on you right now!

    OK… now on to the topic at hand.. I really thought more of Rob then to do something like this to “us”. I guess he is just a guy and he can only control his hormones for so long… and I have nothing against kstew… hey I give her props.. you gotta wonder though… what do you think about when you are gettin down to business with “The Sexiest Man in the World” I mean come on.. wanted by millions… adored, protected, desired, admired, topic of dreams, notes, letters, blogs, fanfic and fantasies that would certainly make his parents blush.. (their poor baby boy!) And there she is… tappin that.. goodness gracious… I’d be watching my back… cause you just know that some crazy fan is gonna come by and drag her out by that mullet of hers. She seems tough though.. I think she can take whatever comes along.. I think she could handle business and still be home in time for dinner and the evening doobie… (did I just say that out loud?)

    As for my admiration for Rob,… listen fun to look at is fun to look at.. The man is hot.. he’s just human… does it take away from the appeal… I’m not sure..If I knew for sure he was “takin” (by someone other than you Moon).. If I knew this was real, this “robsten” thing, it might bring him to a more manageable level for me…

    I don’t see it though.. I mean, I just don’t see them together… I see a friendship connection… but I don’t see romance… I didn’t see a romantic connection in “Twilight” between them (PLEASE CALM DOWN! I’M NOT SAYING IT WASN’T THERE I’M JUST SAYING I PERSONALLY DIDN’T SEE IT)
    Hey whatever… he’s a grown up… he can do what he likes… you need to make mistakes in life to learn from them…

    And Moon.. I’m sorry for your “broken heart”.. but remember this advice that my Nana gave me when I had my heart broken.. “He’s just a boy.. and boys… well, they are all pretty stupid” :)

    • One other thing.. I personally get a HUGE Giggle out of the fact the Kellan is just texting away behind them! I think we should all take a lesson from Kellan and ignore it :)

      • I totally agree!!! I think the genius of these pictures is the rest of the cast in the background…..they all seem so OVER IT!! Hahahaha!

      • I loved reading the tweets from darling Calli regarding #textsfromkellan including: #textsfromkellan “tay, i’ll give you the #s of 20 starlets who put out if u switch seats w/me NOW. R&K are making me depressed. sadface. :(“

        I think we should all figure out what Kellan was texting and to whom tho Calli did an amazing job! :)

    • THANK YOU, Kelly!

      I’m also one who is completely confuzzled over this obsession that these two ACTORS are sleeping together. Their relationship always seemed to ….familial to me. Perhaps it’s b/c she is so butch (even before the mullet)- I never saw the sex sparks between them. In the movie, she always looked at him with the eyes of someone who tested high on the functioning autistic scale.

      Another problem I have is, I was kinda crushing on Rob for awhile. I thought he was different from the rest of the sheep in entertainment- charming, soulful, interesting. Now he might be just some stupid actor prick, shagging his teenage costar. And that’s not special. He’s now just the same as those other idiots in Hollywood. And with HER? Ugh. Talk about convenient. How unimaginitive. And I had thought more of him than that. Oh, Nana was correct!

      And she’s an *actress*- she’d get her ass handed to her in a nanosecond if there ever was trouble. I never saw her as “tough”. Rude, self-absorbed, and stoned, yes. But not tough.

      • Chris.. take heart.. as I read somewhere… there always a break up to look forward to… I DID NOT ORIGINALLY SAY THAT ROBSTENS SO BACK OFF! :)

        I don’t dislike Kristen.. I just don’t get her… and it could be that she is a closed off person… and closed off people tend to give me the heebie jeebies… There is a difference between being closed off and being private… I wonder if it’s the challenge.. the “I can reach you” for him… maybe it’s the shared condition that this SAGA is bringing… I don’t know.. I think it’s fine… his life… her life… I see her as having a lot of growing up to do… but she’s 19… so she should have a lot of growing up to do.. Hell… I’m well past 19 and I still have a lot of growing up to do!

        I still adore him.. as I said.. fun to look at is fun to look at.. and as long as he is happy I’m good with it… unless he’s rolling over in my bed.. I really don’t care who’s bed he’s rolling over in.

        • I met my husband-to-be at the tender age of 19. Grew up for two years, married him at 21 and we’ve been together now for 29 years.

          It’s possible…I’m just sayin’…

          Cheers to one and all!

      • @ChrisG: ‘she always looked at him with the eyes of someone who tested high on the functioning autistic scale’—

        girl, i don’t know you but i sure wish i did—that description is brilliant—add the eye flutter & you have her nailed—<3

    • awww girl crush?! fake lesbian lover alert!! high five!

      • Well girl crush as in….. if-we-were-at-a-concert-and-you-slouched-in-your-seat-and-I-leaned-over-in-front-of-you-I-would-totally-not-kiss-you-even-if-it-looked-like-I-did–it-in-photos …..kind of way.. know what I mean :)

    • I ♥ your Nana…

  22. All I know is beer makes me happy & touchy-feely… and I totally don’t see them kissing, but it could be because I’m old and my MacGyver skills are totally in the shop this week.

  23. What!? I leave the computer for 2 days and this happens! Never again!! What a way to start Monday!

    P.S. Thanks for the laughs though!

  24. Dear Moon,

    Your Xavier/Bobby sandwich is a visual image I’ll cherish all day. I fully support this union, regardless of which one you end up with. Because I’ll walk down the aisle with the castoff…at your wedding. I’m happy with either Xavier or Bobby. Both float my boat.

    Love,
    Me
    xoxo

    p.s. Oh, how I love me some Bill Withers.
    “And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know……………”

    • i picture rob wandering aimlessly around vancouver with bill withers playing in his earbuds and me off dancing in a grassy meadow with bobby/xavier

      CRY ROB! CRY!!!!!!!!

  25. To amend what I said earlier:

    Yes, I am still grossed out HOWEVER I wouldn’t be TOTALLY against this coupling if she acted even the slightest bit into him and not like he is the brother she tolerates just because they are related.

    If they are the new Brangelina then by sweet baby Jesus act like you like the dude! FFS

    • “I wouldn’t be TOTALLY against this coupling if she acted even the slightest bit into him and not like he is the brother she tolerates just because they are related.”

      #preach

  26. I bet Kellan was that guy who was twittering:
    “OMG my friend is at KOL concert and just saw KStew and RPattz making out and kissing”

    I never trusted him. You can’t trust that much beef.

    Anyhow, I have a solution for you lovely ladies. What happened was, that guy at the concert, that wasn’t Rob, it was this lookalike kid the management hired to delude the public. And, well, he Is cute, being a Rob lookalike and all, and KStew couldn’t help herself and all that, but it will all work out – you know, like when Keira Knightley couldn’t bag Orlando Bloom so had to start going out with Rupert Friend?

    So, you see, all is good. The REAL Rob is still single, and this public Rob is just a place holder.

    • “You can’t trust that much beef.”

      DIED

      • ROTFLMAO!

  27. All I know is that our beloved Rob had no chance against the WANT OF IT. Who could possibly compete with that level of want? No one, I say no one.

    • PS I love your playlist and your face!

    • Did you know that Kristen Stewart Wants It?

      p.s. Did you know that I want it? And by “it,” I clearly mean OUR Alex.

      • How could she not want it…WE ALL DO!!!!

        I’d be happy if she smiled…….sometimes….sigh

      • She does, even with the swell of media attn, unfortunate hair dos, and work load…her want does not lesson…it gathers momentum, it pulls others into the gravitational force of it’s want. The want never fails.

    • oh KStew most def wants it in those KOL pics… but when does she not want it? case and point… her wanting it makes me want it… and clearly her want has crashed through the rob pattinson’s reasoning skills… he’s shagging a girl who has a mullet a sicknasty mullet… dude… she needs to use her want for the good… like solving world hunger, or curing aids… someone cure aids! KStew REALLY wants the cure!

  28. It’s getting harder and harder to delude myself these days… but I will continue to live by the motto of “ignorance is bliss” until I see a picture of them blatantly PDA’ing. I’m going to chalk this one up to being at a loud concert, not having vampire-like hearing, and a few too many Heineken’s…

    Btw Robert… I too love KoL. I too would love to go to a concert with you while your studly christian friend sits behind us. I too wouldn’t mind a sweaty little snuggle. But get this – I don’t have a mullet and act like I hate the world. I promise to swoon and giggle over you. Oh, and I also have boobs. BOOBS, ROBERT. Boobs.

  29. Ignorance IS bliss. I’m good at finding ways to keep reality at bay. Maybe he was looking for kstew’s boobs? They’re kinda hard to see. especially in the dark..that’s it, he was probably peering at her chest, trying to locate those bee stings.

    Honestly I just cannot see it. I see the so-called “evidence” but I can’t believe it. Rob-with HER?? My brain just refuses to accept it. As others have said if it is true it won’t be for long.

  30. I totally dont’ care if they’re a couple or if they are f*ck buddies or if they are “just friends” (who f*cked at least once). Honestly, I don’t.

    So why do I feel like I just got dumped? (Sings “All By Myself” along with Oregano)

    • If your singing it with Oregano… shouldn’t you pick another song?

      Sorry had to go for the cheap joke :)

      • Nooo, because Oregano understands lonliness! He sympathizes with me!

        That makes sense…. right? ;)

        • I guess.. in a weird twisted way.. but then this whole thing has become weird and twisted :)

  31. Poor Moon! Love your playlist. And Xavier looks like a great rebound! He is yummy.
    Though I’m not convinced they were kissing, but I really don’t care.

  32. Ohh Moon, Moon, Moon ……
    I’m nearly home girl, hold on…. I’ll be there at the end of the interweb for you to cry on while UC is otherwise engaged now that you are not……

    Love love love this post……. “You know how they get on two receievers in seperate rooms and talk over each other? Yea, thanks for putting me through that this morning at 7am. I can’t bear it when Dick gets upset and sobs.”
    I know exactly how they feel, they want Rob with a girl who can smile just like we do………

  33. I love that anytime Robsten is mentioned it gets heated in the comments. And by heated I mean people start to get “thumbs down”

    And I especially love that the point of this post was not in any way robsten. it was moon’s broken heart & the songs that help her through it.

    now let’s guess what kind of ice cream she passed out eating last night….

    • i gave myself a thumbs down. just for the hell of it

      • OMG I already hit the reply button when I saw your thumb down and then you added this…
        I snorted laughing, for real hahahahahha
        Do you want me to give you a thumb down too just for the heck of it?
        I could, not that I wanna…

        If I was moon at this point I’d prolly drown myself in a tub full of B&J’s…just imagining REALLY being his gf and having to watch those pics (whatever happened I don’t know and I don’t really care at this point) would simply kill me…

        so I guess I can be happy not to be his fiancee??? wait…ermmm….sigh…

        • Read your comment too fast…thought you said “drown myself in a tub full of BJ’s” and I thought….

          “dying… giving someone I love (Rob) a beej… seems like a good way to go.”

          M

      • LOL.

      • I just gave you a thumbs down for thumbs downing yourself, UC.

        M

    • Ben and Jerry’s Halfed Baked…..that’s my new consolation ice cream go for it Moon……
      The playlist had me lol….am I glad that my middle aged chunk loves me and I don’t need this playlist….hmmm never say never I know….

    • And I gave you a thumbs up. Because Rob WOULD marry this.

    • I love what this has turned into and that the original meaning of the post is completely lost.. it shows me that I do too in fact have a life! And it’s productive :)

      I give you a thumbs up.. just cause.. and I raise you Ben & Jerry’s Cinnamon Buns.. cause you can’t not eat at least half the thing in one sitting! It has to be Ben & Jerry’s something cause when one guy dumps you.. you gotta have two more in the wings :)

    • 1. I gave you a thumbs up. For the hell of it.

      2. Kudos to me for getting the POINT of this post–which is why I commented about Moon’s Xavier/Bobby sandwich and being a bridesmaid in her beach wedding, where none of the men in attendance will wear Jesus sandals. You will be a bridesmaid, too. Duh.

      3. Oh, this Robsten shiz. Can we have some Alexander shiz up in here? I’m creating a name: Lulaxder. That’s me and him.

      Oh, wait…wrong vampire. Sorry.

      • To be fair again = Lulaxderigs is more appropriate

    • haha I gave you a thumbs down before I read that you had given yourself one… of course you did..

    • I also gave you a thumbs down, cause I am an evil bitch…hahahahhaa

  34. I told you gals, it was over! The playlist was hilarious! We’ll get through it. Let’s just start writing letters to someone else! That Xavier guy just might fit the bill! Nothing like rebounding to get over someone, huh!

  35. I may or may not have a complete girl crush on Moon for this post.

    BTW, JT was MY fake boyfriend before Rob ;-)

  36. Dear Moon,

    I, I don’t mind what people say or do
    But I, I do mind what you believe is true
    You are the only one getting all my love
    Cause what they do, ain’t nothing new

    Playas they gonna play
    And haters they gonna hate
    Ballers they gonna ball
    Shot callers they gonna call
    That ain’t got nothing to do with me and you
    That’s the way it is
    That’s the way it is

    Love, Rob :)

    • OMG!!!!!!!!! YOU JUST QUOTED ONE OF MY FAVE QUOTABLE SONGS!!

      3LW!!! shut the front door. you win.

  37. i just hope at some point or another R&K turned around and asked kellan if he was okay… because although the entrancing sounds of KOL are enough to make anyone loose their train of thought or sense of logic, i don’t believe that even KOL’s sweet, sweet music is enough to drown out the sounds of Kellan typing away on his cell phone while crying rivers and rivers of tears.

    We are missing the biggest point here…

    Dear kellan,
    what makes you type? are you a nonsten? did nikki give you one too many stink eyes at the concert? are you jealous of TayTay’s muscles? are you confused as to why everytime xavier sat down next to you your heart went pitter-patter? Just talk to us lover. it’ll be so much easier to deal with then.
    love,
    calli

    • Kellan was twittering that Robsten is true and happening in front of him. He’s heartbroken.

  38. Dear Moon,

    did you at least get to keep the ring? please tell me you didn’t fall for that… i’ll get you something bigger later on and just accepted the twisted wine bottle foil on good faith and blind love? You should have known by the stoli Tee that he wasn’t one to replace what wasn’t broke (or even what was broke). le sigh. i’m here for you. do you need me to fedex some philly comfort food your way?

    Truly concerned for you,
    Calli

    • send me a cheesesteak and some of your italian cooking. thanks. nothing says ‘moving on from your hot ex’ like gaining 10 lbs from carbs and cheeze wiz

  39. I saw these pictures yesterday and it killed my mood.
    Now I saw your post and said to myself “That’s okay, breathe, you have already seen that”
    And I was fine (kind of) till I listened to the first song in your playlist. :(

    I still don’t want to believe it but I’m close to admit defeat. For now, I’ll just hold onto this “they’re at a concert. OF COURSE they have to be close if they want to speak” explanation.

    I’m off to cry a river (or something like that)

    • Never admit defeat! Until Rob holds a press conference and clearly states(while looking straight into cameras-no downcast eyes) “I am f*cking Kristen!” I do not have enough evidence to make me a believer.

      Innocent until proven guilty-and Rob f*cking KStew WOULD be a crime.

  40. Why can’t it be MEEEEEEEE!!!!
    Ugh, I hate KStew… I want her life (minus the spazziness)

    • minus the mullet

      • and her bad attitude… general surliness and muscle shirt

      • and the “man hands”- circa Seinfeld.

        I know this isn’t s’posed to be a KStew bashing, but, seriously, doesn’t Rob strike you as a curvey woman kind of man? We all remember the boob oggle photo, right?

        And KStew is so the curvey chick. I offer the evidence:

        Boy hips and legs, bee stings, man hands, mullet, and the ‘God help me if I smile and lose my tough boy face’. It is just not what we picture for our guy!

        Sigh, I have a life.
        Really.

        • OK the ‘not’ somehow got edited out of there…she is so not the curvey chick….

          My life.
          Back to it.

  41. My heart is already mangled, just like my brain after a long, rainy day at work, so I am not feeling any pain……whatever, I can take it.

    Moon, I’ m gonna tell you what my singing teacher told me in high school, when I came in for my private lesson all broken because my first great love and boyfriend had just taken off with my “best friend”: “You must SING your way through this!” And she was darned right! I did, eventually. (Him dumping her after a month helped, to be sure.)

    So, sing at the top of your lungs to your playlist, and all will be well again, someday…
    and remember that regardless of whom Rob is or is not humping now, it may still be you (or me! me!) walking down the aisle with him one day in Vera Wang. He just doesn’t know what is about to hit him between the eyes, poor guy.

    Love hurts! Too right!

    • sing loud?? DONE!

      ALLLLLL BYYYYYYMYYYYYSEEEEELLLLFFFFFF dont wanna be ALLLL BYYY MYYYYSEEEELLLFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Its more like the song by j geilles band “Love stinks, … yeah yeah”
      but sung by Adam Sandler (which I posted for your listening pleasure).

  42. Gotta say, this truly didn’t surprise me. They’re definitely kissing. At first I couldn’t make out the picture at all and it didn’t make since until I realized Kriss* had slid down into her seat and her legs are up blocking the view of the camera. With that understood, how can you look at that pic and think they weren’t kissing?

    I don’t really care all that much. I’m not a robsten fan, nor an anti-robsten. I spent more time pondering who Kellan was texting. btw, what did interest me about the kissingness was how Kellan and Jackson were right behind them and didn’t appear to notice or acknowledge them the whole time like they were giving them their alone time or something.

    Anyways, I guess if I had an opinion on this whole thing it would be that:

    1. Rob’s a quirky british guy and Kriss looks like Criss Angel now, so “they” kinda make sense.

    2. Rob has talked several times about how he’s a “method” actor or whatever. Makes sense for him to hook up with Kriss then, since they’re make three/four more movies about being soul mates.

    3. Kellan is the only one in the cast who can pull off plaid without looking like a d-bag.

    *I will refer to her as this now for her uncanny likeness to the creepy street magician.

    • She’s slid down in her seat knees up.. maybe he’s leaning over blocking the bong… just saying..

      WHAT?!? BACK OFF ROBSTENS… EVERY GROUP NEEDS A DEVILS ADVOCATE :)

  43. Oh my Moon…he’ll come to his senses. Just imagine the make-up sex! x

    • HHHMMMMM…..MAKE-UP SEX……..do we all get some or just Moon?

      • I think he owes us all for putting us through this.

    • Make-up sex… … hmmm.. just imagine…

      3….2…1

      *THUD*

      Crap fell out of my chair!

  44. This is hilarious!!!

    don’t deny it, people. They are indeed together.

  45. I’m with Chris G. on this one. Kristen seems so butch – I think Rob sees her as one of the boys, a mate to hang with who’s gone through similar sudden fame experience with him. If they are together, then crapsten, but I’ll get over my inappropriate fangirl crush all the quicker. But IF they are together, that means he climbed out of Nikki’s bed and into Kristen’s with barely time for a shower in between. I guess he’s making up for the pre-twilight years when girls weren’t interested in him -and who can blame him for that? Robsten prolly won’t last past Breaking Dawn as they’re both so young & I hope especially for Kristen lots of dating & relationships before settling down – after all, life is for livng!

  46. All I have to say is:

    The best way to get over a man is to get UNDER another one!!!!!!!!

    LMAO

    • And the choir said AMEN!!

    • sing it barb

  47. is it me or have they morphed? She dresses like him and even sort of acts like him (fingers thru her hair, erm I mean, mullet). Totally a couples thing *gag*

    my inner fangirl was crushed yesterday after seeing the pics. I can’t imagine now Moon must feel, being his fiance and all… lol

    • yes-I saw a pic of her wearing an olive green beanie.

      Rob, if you are secretly gay (please-better than KStew) hook up with a real guy, not a chick who looks/ dresses like one.

  48. I love you, moon, for including MY original pretend boyfriend, Justin Timberlake. He was #1 on my “list” for many years until Rob knocked him down. And then Jackson knocked Rob (GASP) from his #1 spot. NOW, after seeing the KOL pictures (and the Justin video you posted), Justin moves back to #2, may even be tied for #1. Thank you for reminding me of my first love. And reminding me what HORRIBLE taste Robby has. So sad. So much potential wasted on sourpussmullethead.

  49. Ohh, I was so confused. I saw those KOL pics someplace else and they were tagged as a the cast at a “private screening for New Moon” and I was wondering who the heck was able to take a picture of that.

    The “Rob’s cheating on me” soundtrack is hilarious, but I love Kris Allen’s version of Heartless way better!

    (Random, does anyone know who is that blonde girl in all those pictures?)

  50. I could care less whether they are or are not making out, but what I noticed THE MOST and laughed at THE MOST when I saw these pics is that Kellan is on his phone the entire time and not even paying attention to the KoL concert. WTMF, Kellan?! It’s KoL, dude. Respect.

    M

    • total respect.!

    • I think Kellen is actually holding his Ipod, listening to Rihanna. The plaid is pure wire-camouflage.


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