Dear LTR-readers,
We must apologize. So often we forget that a large number of our readership are mothers. Because we don’t have children, we often forget about the struggles a mother can face with entertaining her children. When we received the latest letter from long-time LTR fan Zephyersky, we knew this was the perfect solution to balance motherhood & the entertainment of children with a potentially unhealthy obsession with Robert Pattinson. Zephyersky was inspired to write a sort-of children’s book by a LTR post from last week entitled: “Do you want to DO Rob.” We present this to you, the mothers of LTR who we love so very dearly, as a gift for you & your children to share. In the beautiful form of the great Dr. Suess, we present, thanks to Zephyersky, I would Do Rob anywhere.
You’re welcome,
UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown
I would do Rob anywhere
Thanks Zephyersky!
See if UC likes vampires over on LTT
What’s shakin’ in The Forum today!?
“I have permission from my spouse”
Bwahahahahahahahah!
F*cking classic.
By: lovebeingme on July 7, 2009
at 8:12 am
Yeah I thought that was Perfect !! LOL A total Classic! Wow LTR MOMS are so Creative!
By: Leila on July 7, 2009
at 9:50 am
Perfect line, glad I don’t have a spouse to ask
ha!
By: emmeloowhoo on July 7, 2009
at 12:52 pm
ROTFLMAO. ROTFLMAO. ROTFLMAO.
*Can’t form sentences* Bwahahahahahahahahahaha, I agree with lovebeingme, f*cking classic.
Rob, Anywhere. Anytime.
By: maygirlg on July 7, 2009
at 8:18 am
Clever and fantastic. My kids are going to love this!
By: Sarita Pagita on July 7, 2009
at 8:41 am
It is perfect reading material for children everywhere!
By: milfygoodness on July 7, 2009
at 12:08 pm
Thanks so much! I’m a mom and I’m gonna show this to my DH who is jealous of Rob. My DD is only 22 months old and seems to be showing Robsession too! She has a nickname for him and she goes berserk when she sees a photo of him. She wants to kiss it and hold onto it! Now, ok I didn’t teach her that but she has seen me going online looking at pictures of him….that’s it
.
Love the photo of him lounging inside the car! Sexy!
By: southernbelle on July 7, 2009
at 8:46 am
that is adorable!
By: unintendedchoice on July 7, 2009
at 10:09 am
That was effin’ fantastic! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Can’t stop giggling!
By: pange on July 7, 2009
at 8:51 am
ditto
By: pinay16 on July 8, 2009
at 3:09 pm
hahah love it!!
By: natkellogg21 on July 7, 2009
at 8:54 am
This will be my cure for a long day working with children. Whenever I feel a little overwhelmed or if am wondering why this one children refuses to follow directions. I will simply think about all the places I would do rob.
Another great post!
By: snwfair on July 7, 2009
at 8:55 am
I’m always on the lookout for new and interesting reading materials for students.I plan on suggesting the Rob Suessical Readers for the KG and GR 1 reading programs at my school-really b/c of the lovely pictures-very important in children’s lit.:)
Oh and I’d put a copy in the grown-up ladies toilet too.
We have really bad magazines in there and I’ve been contemplating sticking some Rob porn in there-just to see how many others I can infect with acute fondness.
By: rtfarm on July 7, 2009
at 9:07 am
hahahahaha.. i love BOTH of those ideas!
By: unintendedchoice on July 7, 2009
at 9:56 am
Thanks for thinking of us Moms! Should make it interesting when I have to red “one fish, two fish” to my son later today! I will be secretly thinking of this post.
Love you guys!
By: Cam on July 7, 2009
at 9:07 am
Or… just READ him this post! will he really know!?
By: unintendedchoice on July 7, 2009
at 9:56 am
Well, I’ve just shared this book with 2 of my 3 sons.
Matthew {18 with girlfriend} has rolled his eyes and walked out saying “I’m not bringing any of my mates around anymore”….
and Chris {19 and gay} has said “Hhhmmm, I’m begining to see what you like in him Mum…..”
Rob’s appeal goes accross genders folks….
Thanks for the booklet will enjoy with as many children as possible……..<3 it, <3 it, <3 it.
By: Rubytuesday on July 7, 2009
at 9:14 am
Exceptional taste like his Mama! xo
By: Proselyte3 on July 7, 2009
at 9:38 am
NICE!
By: unintendedchoice on July 7, 2009
at 10:09 am
Bwahahahahahahahah!
That.
Is.
Awesome.
By: TheColdWoman on July 7, 2009
at 9:16 am
Just like I quote Green Eggs & Ham all the time I can now quote this and not get looked at like I am mom-crazy.
Thank you Zephyer, I do like Rob, the man, I do.
By: sassysmart on July 7, 2009
at 9:17 am
I’d buy that book!
By: JodieO on July 7, 2009
at 9:21 am
That first picture makes me thing of the Andy Samberg/T-Pain SNL short: “I’m on a boat motherf*cker take a look at me”
I would do Rob in all of those places, though in the tree would be tricky business.
By: tiffanized on July 7, 2009
at 9:21 am
Tricky but sooo goooood!!!!!!
By: Rubytuesday on July 7, 2009
at 9:26 am
I can’t look at a boat anymore without thinking of that song. Cracks me up everytime.
Tux photos are just a bonus.
By: DontQuestionMe on July 7, 2009
at 12:05 pm
Bwaahahahaha!
I might have to print his and bind it. HARDcover.
By: Katie S on July 7, 2009
at 9:21 am
good idea! Maybe we can sell it at urban outfitters….
By: unintendedchoice on July 7, 2009
at 10:11 am
freakin awesome!!!!!!
<3 the part about the hubby!! haha
man o man do i want to do this guy! <3
By: hunnieb on July 7, 2009
at 9:22 am
I Never Felt So In Love Before
Promise Baby, You’ll Love Me Forevermore
I Swear I’m Keepin’ You Satisfied
‘Cause You’re The One For Me . . .
-michael jackson (RIP)
this song’s in my head.. we can apply it to rob, non?
heeehee!
By: hunnieb on July 7, 2009
at 9:28 am
That made me think of when I was reminiscing to some vintage Michael Jackson in the showing this morning…. was SINGING to ‘Pretty Young Thing’ but DREAMING of Rob…
“I want to love you,
Pretty young thing,
You need some lovin’
Tender lovin’ care..”
LOL Well, he’s kinda young to me (9 yrs younger?) but he sure is pretty and by pretty I mean HOT
By: Aussie Mum on July 7, 2009
at 9:56 am
freakin awesome!!!!!!
<3 the part about the hubby!! haha
so ive been listenin to a lot of michael jackson lately (RIP) and thought of my fav song to sing to rob (the guy's version of course)
I Feel Your Fever From Miles Around
I'll Pick You Up In My Car And We'll Paint The Town
Just Kiss Me Baby And Tell Me Twice
That You're The One For Me
By: hunnieb on July 7, 2009
at 9:26 am
This definitely made my morning!!
“And even if Kellan says he runs like a goat”
Fucking priceless…
By: Jenny Jerkface on July 7, 2009
at 9:31 am
“and even if Kellen says he runs like a goat” LMAO! Priceless!
By: Jena on July 7, 2009
at 9:32 am
White tee shirt
Button Fly (gah!)
Black tee shirt
The End.
Not really (course not)…
In the shorts pic…he and my husband have the same legs. Exactly. My husband is 6′2, and lanky and these are his legs. Pale, hairy and all. Not sure how I feel about this.
Oh, and yes…annnnnnywhere!
By: Proselyte3 on July 7, 2009
at 9:38 am
That is THE BEST!! When is it being published?
Thanks for the great laugh!
By: Dawnvamp on July 7, 2009
at 9:46 am
OMG! I love, love LOVE this!! On so many levels – as Mum, teacher, Rob-lover (boat pic=yum!)
Though… will probably not read it to Mr 3 yr old nor show to spouse (disapproving clicking tongue and rolling eyes too annoying) LOL
That’s just too funny – off to read it again!
By: Aussie Mum on July 7, 2009
at 9:52 am
Love it!
By: Canadiangal on July 7, 2009
at 9:55 am
I absolutely ♥ this.
Nice work Zephyersky!
By: J-9 on July 7, 2009
at 10:04 am
OMG. I love this! Brilliant! Great job Zephyersky!
By: itsjustme1217 on July 7, 2009
at 10:10 am
Once again, a warning to put away all liquids before reading would be nice.
That was hilarious. I’m printing this out, copying and pasting as well, and sharing with as many people as I can.
By: DanaB on July 7, 2009
at 10:19 am
Thanks. I was happy to share it with all of you.
By: ZephyerSky on July 7, 2009
at 12:16 pm
EXACTLY!!!
By: GarnetGurl on July 7, 2009
at 10:24 am
Absolutely pure GENIUS!!!!! LMAO I don’t have children but this would definitely be something I don’t think I’d be able to share with them if I did…once again thanks for a great post!!
By: krazykidd on July 7, 2009
at 10:24 am
Hey!
Have you girls heard about this Aussie magazine thing?
The one about kristen Stewart? I’m shocked that they’d actually write about that .. I mean Kristen is definitely NOT going to be quiet about it ..Can you feel a lawsuit on the way? Yay sounds interesting .. I really wanna hear what Kristen is gonna say about this .. or her publicists
By: Leila on July 7, 2009
at 10:25 am
What Aussie magazine thing? Please do explain…I’m lost… :-/
By: krazykidd on July 7, 2009
at 10:29 am
Well there’s this magazine that had the most stupid and outrageous cover cover of Kristen with a headline saying : “I’m Pregnant” .. They got to be kidding me .. Why would Kristen talk about it to a Magazine ? For crying out loud! I can’t believe that there are still such stupid magazines ..They insult readers and anyone with common sense
By: Leila on July 7, 2009
at 10:41 am
Oh I forgot ..Here’s a link :
http://www.twilightposterdvdmerchandise.com/twilight-gossip/kristen-stewart-pregnant-with-robs-baby/
Sorry
By: Liela on July 7, 2009
at 10:46 am
Oh I forgot ..Here’s a link :
http://www.twilightposterdvdmerchandise.com/twilight-gossip/kristen-stewart-pregnant-with-robs-baby/
Sorry I
By: Liela on July 7, 2009
at 10:46 am
Oh I forgot ..Here’s a link :
http://www.twilightposterdvdmerchandise.com/twilight-gossip/kristen-stewart-pregnant-with-robs-baby/
Sorry I know
By: Liela on July 7, 2009
at 10:46 am
Oh I forgot ..Here’s a link :
http://www.twilightposterdvdmerchandise.com/twilight-gossip/kristen-stewart-pregnant-with-robs-baby/
Sorry I know thi
By: Liela on July 7, 2009
at 10:46 am
Sorry I don’t know what happened up there ^! My computer must have lost it’s mind
By: Liela on July 7, 2009
at 10:48 am
Hey can you post that link again?
UC here: editing comment b/c I can’t reply. and i died.. that’s all!
By: lapushbaby on July 7, 2009
at 10:56 am
Ha ha ha – can u post again!
By: milfygoodness on July 7, 2009
at 12:12 pm
I saw this yesterday…I gotta say….I’m embarrassed to be Australian when I see rubbish like this!! They’ve even got an arrow pointing to her tummy with ‘bump watch’ written over for crying out loud!
Just awful…shall I track down all copies and destroy them?? LOL
By: Aussie Mum on July 7, 2009
at 9:57 pm
That was so funny! And the um hot, hot pic is interesting! NoIDidNotLookThere! YesIDid!!!!
By: itsyblue on July 7, 2009
at 10:26 am
I love the random pic of the spouse! Good to hear you got permission. Me too!!
By: Amber on July 7, 2009
at 10:27 am
yes, the spouse pic was a perfect addition!
By: milfygoodness on July 7, 2009
at 12:13 pm
It is my responsibility as a teacher to encourage children to read. Normally getting parents involved in their children’s education is difficult, but this book may just be what I need to get my moms motivated to read to their kids. Thank you @Zephyersky and LTR for reaching out to America’s youth…one hot Rob pic at a time!
By: vickyb on July 7, 2009
at 10:38 am
Just doing what I can for the youth of the world
By: ZephyerSky on July 7, 2009
at 12:19 pm
you are welcome
By: unintendedchoice on July 7, 2009
at 8:01 pm
you are the best….
By: maria on July 7, 2009
at 10:43 am
Oh geez! This was hilarious! Absolutely love the creativity…and hugs to your very understanding spouse, too!
By: Stellarrose on July 7, 2009
at 10:48 am
Om my Holy HELLLLLLLLLLL, that was funny.
Yes, yes indeed, I would do Rob anywhere. I have permission from my spouse as well, though he is holding fast to his belief that Rob is gay.
By: lapushbaby on July 7, 2009
at 11:00 am
My son is now with your husband {re my post above}
just for completely different reasons!!!!!!!!!!
By: Rubytuesday on July 7, 2009
at 12:45 pm
@Ruby—-Hahaha!! My gay BFF is having none of it, though he did go to Little Ashes with me and loved it, he says Rob does nothing for him–can you even comprehend that? My friend is also 54, so he may have said something like “little boy? I need a man!” LOL.
By: lapushbaby on July 7, 2009
at 4:04 pm
Well my Chris {20 in Sept} is the right age bracket, more than me cry, cry, cry, but is still not sold on Rob? Duh!!!! I can’t understand it at all…but he is a very good enabler and has watched a good few interviews with me and says that the gaydar bell rings loudly….. I close my ears and carry on lusting Chris is young he makes mistakes….not often, but he makes mistakes…..
By: Rubytuesday on July 7, 2009
at 4:41 pm
I actually went to Little Ashes with 4 gay guys and I could only get ONE of them to say they would not kick him out of bed for eating crackers…….
They are all in their 40s and 50s, but, like I said, not into how young he is…so who knows.
By: lapushbaby on July 7, 2009
at 10:08 pm
This is gold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMFAO!!!! My four year old DD will tell anyone who cares to listen that mummy’s boyfriend is Robert Pattinson and she is so proud of the fact! She is gonna LOVE this (almost asmuch as me but not quite!)
By: patticat on July 7, 2009
at 11:13 am
Loved it!!!
By: Jen on July 7, 2009
at 11:16 am
We are raising a whole new generation of Rob lovers! This just reminded me of a Whitney Houston song “I believe the children are our future, Teach them well and let them lead the way, Show them all the beauty Rob has inside, Give them a sense of pride about ROB, Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be” Love the post!
By: Jaybird on July 7, 2009
at 12:02 pm
No kids, but I do have a five-year-old goddaughter who is into Dr. Seuss.
I think her mother would approve if I were to share this.
By: DontQuestionMe on July 7, 2009
at 12:08 pm
That is so funny. I wrote it in the car on our way to our family outing on the 4th and I tolld the kids I was saying “I like Rob in….” My 5 year old Daughter suggested I say “I would kiss Rob…” My DH rolled his eyes and said “not her too.”
By: ZephyerSky on July 7, 2009
at 12:12 pm
Priceless ZepherSky!
I had to gag myself to prevent my maniacal laughter from disturbing my teenagers ….
By: English Girl on July 7, 2009
at 5:36 pm
Zephyersky – just brilliant! I LOL’ed so many times. You’ve clearly read Green Eggs and Ham as many times as I have.
But I’m just sorry you couldn’t think of a rhyme for dumpster. Maybe, “I would do you by the dumpster. You see, you’re the one I want to hump, sir.”? Not quite in the right cadence for Seuss.
Anyway, fabulous work. And so true! I would do him here or there or anywhere. And I also have permission!!!!
By: milfygoodness on July 7, 2009
at 12:20 pm
I’d do you by the dumpster.
It’s YOU I want to hump,sir.
By: expat on July 7, 2009
at 1:07 pm
PERFECT
By: unintendedchoice on July 7, 2009
at 8:03 pm
Hahaha genius!! This is the LTR that I love
By: alyssabender1 on July 7, 2009
at 12:24 pm
I love this so much! I’m in work doing that open mouth silent laugh thing and rocking back and forth.
I think I’ll go and read it again. Here’s hoping I don’t snort though … that’s just too hard to tie to a work related reason.
By: fairytalefrog on July 7, 2009
at 12:56 pm
Oh my gosh! I loved this so much. So very true.
By: Heather on July 7, 2009
at 1:03 pm
I’ve got two kids myself. Me likey this book.
By: AngelaF on July 7, 2009
at 1:28 pm
I’m Sorry I posted it once I swear ! But my PC was in such a mess ! I’m Really Sorry Moon & UC for messing up the comments section that was a total PC glitch
By: Leila on July 7, 2009
at 1:33 pm
This post should include a warning not to avoid drinking anything (or orange huince in particular because dang, that stings) while reading. Actually it might just be a disclaimer for the entire site…anyhow that was one of the most hilarious posts in a while! Love Zephyrsky’s brillance and love UC and Moon for letting us all bask in it!
By: ashwood902 on July 7, 2009
at 2:20 pm
There should be a disclaimer in the banner for this site, “Do not ever read with liquid in your mouth!! You will ruin your keyboard!! You have been warned!!!”
By: lapushbaby on July 7, 2009
at 4:08 pm
Yep, that about sums it up. Well done!
By: superhumanmoron on July 7, 2009
at 2:39 pm
OMG I would sooooo do him in a car!!
By: amiev on July 7, 2009
at 4:06 pm
That last photo always makes me think dirty thoughts… about size… and stuff.
By: Natalie on July 7, 2009
at 4:20 pm