Since it’s Father’s Day week, we thought we’d do some “Dad-themed” letters
I am well aware of our audience. That 68% of them are women (seriously? 32% male? Welcome Unicorns!), 53% of them have kids, 35% of them have kids ages 3-11 and 19% of them are Hispanic, which is above average (hola mis amigos!) So I know that many of them are not going to agree with this letter to you, but since when has that stopped Moon or I from writing something? We posted an embarrassing video one of our readers sent us last week without a second thought (Actually our thought process was this: (watch video) 20 minutes later Me: Moon? Are you still there? Moon: Yes. I think Me: What the eff was that? Moon: We can’t post that Me: I know, we can’t. Moon: But we can’t not post it Me: I know, it’s already drafted & scheduled for 8am.) So the following needs to be said, despite knowing I will be in the minority more than the people who still think TomStu should have played Edward.
I cannot picture you as a dad. In fact, on you it’s a total turn-off.
I’ve heard (yes, from the gals I love on LTR) people say “Rob will sure make a great dad!” WHAT? No you won’t! Here are some practical reasons why:
- You can’t button your own shirt correctly- how would you care for a child?
- You’re a chain smoker
- You drink too much
- You live in filthy hotel rooms and apartments
- You’re an actor, so you’d never be home
- You said you don’t like children
- You’re 23
- You wouldn’t know what to do if someone put a baby in your arms
- Your “bonding time” would probably include a game of ‘who can microwave all the produce the fastest”
I have also taken the liberty of collecting some photographic evidence as to why you should refrain from fatherhood:
Don’t miss all the evidence after the jump!
Loving you as a hot, sexy SINGLE child-less man,
Not convinced? Watch the vid where these pics came from