Posted by: UC | May 13, 2009

In 1986 Clare Pattinson turned some tricks: Happy Birthday Rob!

Happy Birthday to youuuu, you smell like a monkey and you look like one too!

Happy Birthday to youuuu, you smell like a monkey and you look like one too!

Dear Rob,

Happy Birthday! We thought long and hard (that’s what she said) about what we could do to celebrate your 23 year old-ness. We’ve been kicking so much ass with our posts lately that it’s hard to outdo ourselves.  We already gave you a myspace page, Moon installed a stripper pole, we made your day and admitted we’re the worst fans ever (and therefore the best fans ever), we’ve befriended your boy Sam Bradley, we’ve written to your mom and we’ve given you style advice. What else is there?

So, we decided this year we’re keeping it simple. It’s gonna be just you and us, some Moon Dance (ahem) playing in the background, a couple Yankee candles giving off an overpowering scent, a few bottles glasses of Heinken (gotta class up your favorite drink), 3-4 packs of American Spirits, and a custom cake made from Hot Pockets with a pot-filled, ding dong center and topped off with a melted cheeseburger icing. Yummo.

So relax, enjoy a shoulder massage from Moon (or more…), close your eyes, blow out your Sweet Sixteen candle (Sorry- it’s all we had left from Wolfgirl’s party) and make a wish. Too afraid to close your eyes for fear that in the dark the Pattinson Pants lady might show up? We understand. We have the same fear about the Pattinson Tattoo lady. Don’t worry- we made wishes for your 23rd year, just in case you couldn’t get through it:

Ready, Set, Blow (that’s what she said)

Moon & UC’s Wishes for Rob’s 23rd year

  • We wish for you and Kristen to fake a make-out session for the paps just so Ted Casablanca from E! can shut his face. (We really wish that it’s a fake make-out session….)
  • We wish for Lainey from Lainey Gossip to wake up and decide she’s Team Pattz and contact you, hoping for returned love. We wish for you to laugh in her face.
  • We wish that no one becomes a Pattinson Tattoo lady We obviously wrote this before the news broke about the Pattinson Tattoo lady, so let’s change this to wishing that no more Pattinson Tattoos are ever made ever.
  • We hope that whoever steps out from behind a Dumpster on your birthday looks like THIS and not THIS (or maybe we hope she looks like us, either way…)
  • We hope that the Pattinson Pants lady trips in a pile of acid and the pants are ruined forever but miraculously her skin and body are unscathed AND that part of your brain that allows you to think of such atrocities is ruined forever by the fumes.
  • We wish that the fake you on Twitter, fakeRPattz, is really you because we love him so much, even though we’re 94% sure it’s a her.
  • We wish that eating 15 cheeseburgers a day would give you a nice Edward 6-pack and cut shoulders instead of a beer gut and haggard skin tone (in fact we wish that for ourselves!).
  • We wish that all creepy early modeling pictures aka Zygote Rob pics would mysteriously be deleted by the great internet Gods so that we can all forget that icky mess ever happened.
  • We hope that everyone leaves you alone today including the paps, the crazy fans, your manager, Nikki & Kristen and Michael Oregano with his threatening phone calls. But we hope that when we find you (because of course we know exactly where you’re spending your birthday- we wouldn’t be good bloggers without that info) you wouldn’t mind the following: posing for 5-10 pictures with us, trying on OUR version of the Pattinson pants, signing our Pattinson tattoo’s and soft cover copies of New Moon while doing a quick 25-45 minute interview on how you relate to Edward, Dali & Art and the differences between the three.

Happy Birthday! We hope all these wishes comes true for you and that this year is even bigger and better than the last! You keep getting older and staying sexy and walking around with the Dadcase and we’ll keep bringing the funny for another year.

Love,
UnintendedChoice & TheMoonisDown

PS don’t forget to check out your special Birthday post over on LTT!

After the jump, see what EastFriend and WestFriend, from The Quad, have to say for Rob’s birthday

EastFriend:

Dear Rob,

Got a cigarette?

Happy Birthday,
EastFriend XOXO

(obviously East Friend is the cool leather wearing rebel from High School we all wanted to be. She’s a loner Dottie, a rebel!)

WestFriend:

Dear Rob,

It’s your birthday, and you know I have been thinking on you long and hard {that’s what she said}. Remember on my birthday when I was supposedly “working” but in actuality I was out with you? You took me to In ‘N Out and even gave me a few “special hugs” in aisle 4 of your favorite Goodwill. To top the night off, you let me wash those foul black pants of yours, because let’s face it, it was a gift to myself and to the world, to clean that piece.

What I am trying to get at is, you went above and beyond for my birthday, so I will go above and beyond for you {that’s what she said…and by “she”, I mean “me”…I promise it to you}. For your birthday I will give you 23 special hugs of freakin special-ness. I will help you forget Kristen’s name, trust me…it won’t be too difficult. And since I am so generous, I will sing some Nelly for you:

smile for me robbie
what you lookin’ at?
I wanna see your peen…
you wanna see my wha-a-at?
ya, ya peen…ya, ya peen…
it sparkles like diamonds,
and not a bit of gold!

Don‘t forget to check out all the fun on The Forum for Rob’s birthday!

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Responses

  1. [...] PS don’t forget to check out the party at the forum in YOUR honor and the very special edition of Letters to Rob! [...]

  2. First comment?! Maybe by the time it posts, not so much.

    UC and Moon – you truly brought your game to this post. Absolutely hilarious! The cake was the highlight – or lowlight – for me. But I LOL’ed enough that my 5 year old son – I mean, the boy I’m a young, hot au pair for – kept saying “Mommy, what’s so funny?” (isn’t it cute that my employer’s kid calls me mommy?)

    I hope that our favorite boy drops by and reads your fab post – and then reads my letter to him. I’ll post that next!

    love,
    MG

    • hahaha! you are the BEST au pair :)

    • HAHAAHA tell the employees kid to not call you mom in front of the birthday boy!

      funny comment!

  3. Best. Letter. Ever. Oh my stars, y’all are brilliant. I love the custom Hot Pockets cake filled with a ding dong center. You know that’s his dream cake.

    I hope people leave him alone today, too. Especially the psycho-stalking fans. ‘Cause that’s not normal.

    p.s. East Friend and the Pee-Wee reference and West Friend and Goodwill…special hugs…and NELLY!!!!! Brilliant. Happy Birthday, Rob. You have awesome fans.

    • could you even imagine a slice of that cake? PUKE!

  4. First again. Oh, my. I’m on a roll.

    I said it on LTT and I’ll say it again, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROB!” May you not be plagued by crazy paps and fans today. May you feel loved, handsome, worthy and sane! Enjoy a HotPocket for me today, would you?

    • I knew that was going to happen… (Think I was first, but really I was 3rd or 4th.)

  5. Dear Rob,

    Since it is your birthday, I wanted to tell you that I’ve been thinking a lot about what I would get you as a present, if I actually knew you. I’ve never sent a stranger a gift, and I’m not starting today because that would be way crazy, like tattoo your name on my wrist crazy. (Also, I don’t know your address, and I can’t imagine sending a package to “Rob Pattinson, Vancouver,” the way that kids send letters to Santa Claus, North Pole.)

    But I did spend part of my 5 mile run yesterday thinking about what would make the perfect gift for you. I rejected a lot of possibilities, based on my limited knowledge of your likes and dislikes, and the fact that you are in Vancouver and I live in New York and it’s hard to send packages across the border. Anyway, here are my rejected ideas:

    Hot Pockets – too frozen
    6 pack of Heines – too glass
    Pack of ciggies – too enabling
    Pack of nicorette gum – too judgmental
    Pack of underpants – too mommish
    New shirt – really too mommish
    Picture of me in lingerie – too stalkerish (and hard to arrange)
    Mixed tape – too intimate
    Shampoo and deodorant – too obnoxious
    Copy of one of my favorite books (Cloud Atlas) – too random
    New hoodie – too self defeating (I like to see your hair. And your face.)

    I was already almost 3 miles into my run when it came to me – if I was getting you a present, I would send you a CD of a new band that I really like: Airborne Toxic Event. A real copy of their album, bought in a store that sells CDs. I haven’t bought a real CD in a long time, but I’m sure there is a store in the mall that sells them. (It might be the store that sold the 6 foot tall cut out of you/Edward that I – I mean my friend – bought.) Normally, I would just burn you a copy of the album off my iTunes, but since you are a musician, I assume you are pretty sensitive about illegal copies and all that.

    So, have you heard of ATE? They are f**king fantastic. I think you would like them. They sound a lot like the Strokes to me, but also a little like Kings of Leon and the Clash. And mostly like themselves. This album is their debut, just dropped on March 13, 2009. All the songs are great, but the 7th song, Sometime Around Midnight, is mindblowingly good. That song is a little like getting punched in the stomach, but in a good way. I heard it on the radio on Sunday April 26th in the car on the way back from D.C. and I bought the whole album as soon as I got home.

    Now, it seems kind of rude to mention a gift and not follow through, so I put together all of Airborne Toxic Event’s songs on playlist.com and you can have a listen.
    http://www.playlist.com/playlist/16064192011
    If you like it, just drop me a note (and your address) and I’ll send you the album. I have no affiliation with this band at all – I never heard of them 3 weeks ago. I just fell in love with them and thought you would like them. And you have given me a lot of pleasure this past year (not all of it sex fantasy related, though that is a big part and my husband thanks you for it) so I wanted to do something nice for you. If I could, I would take out a hit on some of your paps and mean gossip site bloggers, but I’m just a suburban S@HM – I don’t know anyone who could do that. . . . But my next best offer is a CD. Kind of makes me think of Glengarry Glen Ross “2nd place – set of steak knives.”

    Anyway – hope you have a fantastic 23rd birthday! My not quite 23rd birthday is in 10 days (on May 23rd). If you want to send me gift, I’ll be on a little trip to Dublin. Just send it to “Aimee, Nice Hotel in Dublin.” I’m sure it’ll find me.

    Love,
    Aimee
    aka Milfy Goodness

    • great band! I love the rejected ideas!

      • I LOVE Airborne Toxic Event!

        • I LOVE LOVE LOVE The Airborne Toxic Event almost as much as I love Rob! In the last year I’ve seen them 5 times and will see them again on Saturday (not bragging or anything!) and they are all soooo nicce! When I listen to them it makes me think of Rob!
          Happy Birthday Rob! May you get all the ciggarettes, heinekens, and dadcases you wished for!

          • sometime around midnight is glorious…met them in LA over a year ago when they were still selling their own merch…i agree…great peoples! glad theyre getting more exposure…=)

          • where do you live that they are performing on Sat? I would love to go see them (not this Sat – I have plans, but at some point in the future)

    • @milfygoodness….Love your ideas and reasons for not sending. It shows how thoughtful you are (Rob, Take note: we @ LTT/LTR are thoughtful among other things). Also, i think I may have fallen in love with ATE on the same exact day, in my car, on my way home from work. I wrote down a line of the lyrics while I was at a stoplight and ‘googled’ that shiz when I got home. I.Love.Them. Totally know what you mean about the 7th song…punch in the stomach *sighs*. Anyhoo, hope rob reads your letter and you get a little surprise whilst in Dublin. Have fun!

    • GLENGARY ROSS!!! coffee is for closers!!!!!!!

      • OK – one more GG GR quote: “see this watch? This watch costs more than your fucking car.”

        Moon – are you an investment banker/in banking/dating a banker? My hubby is a hedge fund guy. They quote from GG GR in his industry the way that preachers quote from the Bible.

    • LUV! The rejected ideas are too awesome.

    • Wow milfygoodness, that is a great band! I love them. Thanks for the intro.

  6. HaPPY BirThdaY ROB !!

  7. Happy birthday, Rob! May it be filled with Heinies and ciggies and lap dances! My birthday wish for you is one day without the paparazzi and screaming fangirls.

    Just keep being you! Because that’s the way we (your non-fangirl fans) love you! =)

    Luff,
    Pangie

  8. Dear Rob:

    I’m not funny enough to make wishes as hilarious as Moon and UC’s (the last one is brilliant. isn’t it?) so I just want to wish you a VERY, VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

    Have fun in your special day. I will be waiting for you tonight. In our bed. Naked (just like you like me).

    All my love,

    ANDREA

  9. Oh Rob, first of all let me show my gratitude towards God, universe, world, Clare and Richard & family and of course, your friends.
    Because of them, you are who you are. I hope you get what you wish for. I also wish for a nice girl for you and hope you meet her soon. I wish everything that you want and need comes to you easily.
    I pray that paps, crazy fangirls give you more space and time so that you can have your dearest[your privacy. I know a little bit when you dont have it anymore.] I pray that you experience everything you want to experience in your life, success, trustworthy people, adventure, peace, true love, satisfaction and all that is important.

    Always be yourself because that we love the most about you, your uniquness and sense of humor[I truly love it]. Stay safe, healthy and happy. Take care of yourself love.

  10. I loved your wishes for him…

    and LOVE the Pee Wee Herman quote.
    I really hope the paps leave him alone to celebrate.

  11. Happy Birthday Rob.

    Much Love
    maygirl

  12. You girls just never disappoint. Though I’m torn because LTT had Michael W. Smith and that’s just beyond awesome…..but then we have Hot Pockets(chicken, cheese and broccoli perhaps?) and pot filled ding dongs here.

    I’m just overwhelmed on this day of birth celebration.

  13. Happy Birthday Rob…my twenty-three year old, sweet muffin, salt lick!

    Sending special hugs your way. You know you own me dude. What’s up with that?

    UC and Moon, you are my rock (that’s what she said), and you are my homepage, and you complete me, and luvs. xoxo

    • “my twenty-three year old, sweet muffin, salt lick!”

      LMAO! I love this!

      • Just keeping it real, I mean normal…right? Anyone, right…normal? Yes.

    • your rock AND homepage?!! i feel special!

      • U R Special!!! xo My life must have been so boring b4 u girls.

  14. Rob, why don’t you “get away” for a while and come celebrate your birthday with me! Ok why? Because my birthday is TOMORROW! And we could do a joint party right? So cool. Paps won’t find you in BFE Alabama so you’ll have a great time and no body bothering you! I promise no rednecks! Just longnecks.

    Love you long time!

  15. Oh and P.S.

    Because we are all the worst fans you’ve got hands down…allow me to also mention that the well intended advice, admiration from afar, smuty odes, movie support and special hugs will always trump autographs, photo ops, RL stalking, and all that other nonsense. Srsly, about the special hugs…

  16. Is anyone else happy he’s finally 23? It sounds so much less inappropriate when I tell my 30-something peers how much I love him.

    • Yes yes yes. It does sound so much better, why I have no idea LOL

    • Yes I’ve been waiting for him to turn 23 for quite some time now…somehow weirdly it doesn’t seem so pervy that I like him now that he’s 23!!! LOL

    • Sooo true. 23 is like practically 25, and 25 is like, practically in his thirties, where I “may” be currently.
      And for the next 10 days he’s only 14 years younger than me!! (shit – did I admit that on here?! I mean 4 years younger than me!)

    • How funny – I was thinking the same thing — that 23 sounds old enough to screw without Chris Harrison showing up at my doorstep (or a divorce attorney). Maybe cuz 23 is that age where everyone starts to shack up or get married therefore it sounds like an adult age.

      • I love how you think of the Chris dude showing up before the divorce attorney. I <3 you.

    • Yes! Thank you!

  17. “custom cake made from Hot Pockets with a pot-filled, ding dong center and topped off with a melted cheeseburger icing. Yummo.”

    LOVE THIS!

    “Ready, set, blow (that’s what she said)”

    LOVE THIS TO!

    “We wish for you and Kristen to fake a make-out session for the paps just so Ted Casablanca from E! can shut his face. (We really wish that it’s a fake make-out session….)”

    YES PLEASE!

    “We hope that the Pattinson Pants lady trips in a pile of acid and the pants are ruined forever but miraculously her skin and body are unscathed AND that part of your brain that allows you to think of such atrocities is ruined forever by the fume.”

    Priceless!

    “For your birthday I will give you 23 special hugs of freakin special-ness.”

    Ditto!

    Dear Rob,
    Happy Birthday! I <3 U in so many ways! Your humbleness, your laughter, your kindness, your wit, your talent!
    But this photo here!
    http://www.robertpattinsonunlimited.com/gallery/displayimage.php?album=391&pos=15
    I love it! And because it’s your birthday and because I love this photo I just want to snuggle you in your hoodie, kiss your nose, kiss your lips, try on your sunglasses, help you ziploc your 3 oz bottles, hold your hand, carry your bag (that’s not the man’s job on your birthday) and take you behind the check out counter and shag you nasty!
    And that’s totally normal!
    Love,
    Me
    P.S. But seriously, I wish you the best day ever, may it be paparazzi free, may nobody shutupinyaface, may you have as many cheesebuhrgahs as you want, may you have free time with your guitar, time with those you love and want around you and lots of laughing and may the Apotampkin force be with you!

    • Whoops, I meant “check in counter” LOL! Heh…

  18. You guys are the best, as always.

    And that Pattinson tattoo? Fucking scary. I’ve been keeping track of really bad twilight tattoos but a RPattz tattoo? Huh…

  19. Happy birthday, Darlin’!

    I am relieved it’s your birthday because now I am now only 20 yrs older than you (until my b-day in Aug).

    Somehow a 21-yr difference sounds different…

    That cake sounds awesome – I look forward to when you give me “a piece” later, hon…

    • Every little bit helps mon ami! I hear ya!

      ‘a piece’….NIIIIICCE!

  20. So, I guess I am officially the worst of the bad fans.

    I had no idea it was even your birthday OR that you were only going to be 23.

    I suck. (That’s what she said)

  21. Happy Birthday Rob!!!
    Now come over for a birthday spankin’…I promise you’ll like it…then we can play a round of naked twister…you’ll see how flexible I am!!! I’ll even get you a personal Heiniken keg…I’ll help you do a keg stand…we can share ‘special hugs’ all day (among other things)…and share a ciggie after all the events of the day!! Yay now I’m only 4 years older than you!!! :)

    • im not sure he’s coordinated enough to do a keg stand… i mean we’ve seen him run

      • Ha! Maybe a funnel?

  22. Um Wow! Awesome Bday Post! Love it.

    I am not feeling very creative this AM, so other commentors please continue with your clever comments to ROB. Don’t mind me and my left brainess.

    HAPPY BDAY Rob!

    • YES, this is ME replying to myself. I just read your title again. “In 1986 Clare Pattinson Turned Some Tricks” Hahahahahahahaha. NICE! :)

  23. Dear Rob,

    There was some confusion a couple days ago. I RETWEETED the Pattinson Tattoo lady pic, but I am NOT the Pattinson Tattoo lady. I looked at her profile and trust me, she is not a person I would want to see my name anywhere on their body. Srsly, it’s scary.

    Love, me

    • it is you amber, stop lying!

      ps that girl is FAMOUS now… and for reasons she doesnt want to be!

  24. Happy B-day Rob!

    I hope Clare got you the 100-pack of condoms (she seems like a cool mom like that) because you’re going to need them later!

    See you at my place in 10,
    TFG

  25. Hugh Jackman and Rob have just signed on to do a movie with Rachel Weitz! How exciting is this?!
    That’s gonna be hottie overload! YUM!

    http://www.robsessedpattinson.com/2009/05/robert-signed-for-new-movie-unbound.html

    • Excuse me….. “Weisz”. I knew I spelled her last name wrong.

      • Noooooooo!!! Been crushin on Hugh since Swordfish back in ’01. Then Robbie came into my life. Then I saw Wolverine the other day, and thought hot daaaaamn! I THINK I LOVE YOU TOO, LOGAN! RAWR!!!

        Now Robbie and Hugh TOGETHER in the same movie?! Yeah, God loves me.

        • I know, I just started crushin on Hugh to!
          This is gonna be fab!

  26. Dear Rob,
    Happy B Day. Wish you could manage being sane in this lunatic overnite stardom. Hope you have great B day surrounded by your love ones without any of your picture taken and spread all over the net. Wish you lurk this site regularly so you see just how much we love/adore/lusting over you.
    Wish you all the best.
    Love , me

  27. Happy Birthday Rob!! hmmmm, I got nothing – how lame can I be for shit’s sake?
    Anyway, Happy Birthday – I wish many lap dances, Hot Pockets, Books, Music, and jobs come to you….in fact, I have a book called “The Kama Sutra” that I would love to read to you sometime….HA, I came up with something after all!

  28. Dear Rob:
    For 22 years my life was dull and boring. However, since you turn 22 and grow sexy and humble to your 23′s you completely change my life:
    1. I have a reason to wake up in the mornings (to read LTR)
    2. I have a reason to laugh at work (every time I surf the internet for your news and find candids)
    3. I have a reason to go to bed (to dream of you)

    So, thank you Robert, thank you for making my life full of color and happiness.

    I Wish you a very happy birthday (hopefully without paps, Nikki, Kristen (I don’t like them) you should spend it with people that really love you… like all of us. God bless you.

    And, since I’m from El Salvador, here:

    ¡Feliz cumpleaños a ti, feliz cumpleaños a ti, feliz cumpleaños Roberrrttttttttt, feliz cumpleaños a ti!

    ¡¡¡¡FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS ROBERT!!!!
    ¡¡¡¡SOS LO MÁXIMO, EL MEJOR, LO MÁS BELLO!!! ¡¡¡¡FELICIDADES!!!

    Love,
    Libby

  29. Happy birthday Rob! I’m not creative like the other girls, so I’ll just wish you a great day, filled with the things and people you love. Enjoy! :)

  30. Happy Birthday Rob, I’ll buy you a beer next time I see you!

    xoxoxoxo

  31. Happy Birthday Rob! Make sure one of your wishes while blowing out the candles on that yummy cake Moon & UC made you is No Paps Today! I’d hate to end up on the cover of Star magazine b/c I gave you a “special lap dance” ;)

  32. Dear Rob,
    Happy, happy 23rd!! I hope your day is pap & fangirl- free and you can enjoy it without all the usual harassment. Please enjoy it WITHOUT Kristen, Nikki or any other skank-hang with the guys tonight,OK?

    xoxo

  33. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROB!

    UC & Moon, I hope Rob reads your post today..and appreciates the thoughts! You two are the best *bows down in worship*

    You left out ‘jumping out of the special custom made cake’ wearing nothing but a smile and a dab of Heine behind each ear….I’d like that job if it’s going :) x

    • OMG how could we forget the grand finale!! best suggestion ever!!!

  34. [...] the various birthday greetings including the ones in Twilight Lexicon, Pattinson Online and Letters to Rob, I felt left out. I decided to make one of my own even if there’s a very slim chance that Robert [...]

  35. You guys are *awesome*!!!
    The most amazing thing is that I did get a “Happy Birthday” from Rob… so I want to wish a happy birthday back to him today!! I hope Sam has directed him to this site! He’d get a kick out of it, I’m sure. :-)

  36. Parabéns p’ra você
    Nessa data querida
    Muitas felicidades!
    Muitos anos de vida!

    Feliz aniversário, Rob!
    Happy Birthday, Rob!

    I hope Rob have a fantastic 23rd birthday! He deserve it.
    I must thank his parents for blessing him with his wonderful…uh…DNA
    And May God continue to bless him with…uh…many more.

    If I could, I’d sing a very sexy-breathy Marilyn Monroe-esque version of “Happy Birthday” to him, in Portuguese, of course, b/c my English sucks. Anyway, I’m sure he’ll totally understand my body language ifyouknowwhatimsaying
    *wink*
    Oh, If Rob just could manage to come to Brazil…

    xoxo

  37. Happy birthday to you,
    happy birthday to you,
    Thank God and your mother
    Happy birthday to you

  38. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROB!

    UC and Moon – I couldn’t wait to see what you two were gonna come up with for Rob’s B-day. As usual, it is perfect, just perfect. and LOVE what you did over at the forum too.
    I think some of you ladies already mentioned this, but it occurred to me also that Rob turning 23 closes the age gap by another year (at least until my bday in 9 months). And I don’t feel quite as pervy lusting for him as he gets older. I mean I’m not THAT bad right? What’s the gap with Demi and Ashton, Susan and Tim? So, although I know I have no chance in hell, I’m looking forward to my continued lusting as Rob gets older, wiser and HOTTER!

    • Hi soccermom *waves*
      How you doin’? ;)

      I’m already thought about that: from today until November, 21 @ 1:00pm I’m just 10 years old than Rob. YAY! LOL
      xoxo

      • Hey Giseli—same birthdate girl!

    • How can he possibly get hotter? I don’t know if I could take it!

  39. Hey,
    I finally learn how to embed and it happens at the wrongest place and time.
    (b*t*h*s in charge, feel free to delete my previous post)

    Today is all about you, sweetheart. You are 23 and the most gorgeous men in universe.
    Happy Rob-day!

    @Claire: thank U, thank U, thank U, for everything!!! The universe appreciates it.

  40. @EastFriend:: *Paging, Mr Pattinson…Mr Pattinson, you have a telephone call at the front desk.*

    Hi, Rob. I would just like to wish you a very happy birthday today. I hope it’s the best…evah!!

    M

  41. ‘happy birthday mr. pattinson happy birthday to you’
    .

    • that was in my throaty voice channeling marilyn. xo

  42. Happy Birthday Rob!!!!!!!

    Hope you get everything you want on your day, especially a bday f*ck! I’ll be waiting for you later, don’t worry I’m a sure thing. *smirk*

  43. First, I gotta say Happy Birthday Rob!

    UC and Moon…better f**king letter ever! The cake sounds delicious!!

  44. Happy Birthday Rob, may your day be filled with special hugs and OH! since I live in a newly constructed neighborhood, and they are building a house next door, there was a dumpster delivered this morning! SOOOOOOO, if you are in the area (which would benefit you greatly) throw a rock at my window to let me know you have arrived and I will meet you behind the dumpster!

    It’s Fate I tell you!

  45. Joyeux Anniversaire, Happy Birthday, Feliz Cumpleaños and anything else you want! It’s your day!

    Damn, I’m so glad you’re 23 too! Now I don’t feel like such a perv since I’m only 6 years older than you until September. Maybe I’ll skip my birthday this year just for you, lol.

    Anyhow, enjoy your day!

    (Ladies, these have been the best responses to a great post by UC and Moon. I’ve been laughing at my desk with a bad cold and I sound like a hyena. Thank goodness for doors).

  46. LTR ladies – I left a comment on the eOnline site telling folks about the fun b-day stuff over here.

    Please do let me know if this is a no-no and you prefer that we not do that kind of thing…

    I just wanted to share the happy! (Happy Trail, that is).

    • share away!! the more the merrier!!!!!!

  47. Dear Rob

    had to stop by to wish you the happiest birthday on this your best fansite. I have not been quite so vocal lately, but am still drooling over you …. and them some, but sadly also have to attend to real life too.

    Sending huge hugs, both naughty and nice, in your direction.

    ps How did you get even hotter lately? Do you not think it is unfair to the rest of mankind to have a monopoly on all the male hotness allocated throughout the world?

    pps Very proud of you Brit boy. Don’t forget to come home every now and then so that we can remind you of normality away from Hollywood.

    • ps How did you get even hotter lately? Do you not think it is unfair to the rest of mankind to have a monopoly on all the male hotness allocated throughout the world?

      Amen sista! xo

  48. Dear Rob,
    Happy Birthday! (which is code for: meet my in your room in 10 minutes. You present is ready to be unwrapped).

    love, me. xoxo

  49. Dear Rob,

    Happy 23rd Birthday! It’s so normal that I could have been your*coughbabysittercough* in ’86 and your cyberstalker in ’09. Really. That’s Normal! Waiting to give your SparklePeen a good polishing and make it all shiny for you!

    Hugs and Kisses and uhhh…other dirty things I shouldn’t type here,
    SpunkMe
    XXX


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