Posted by: UC | March 13, 2009

Our Itinerary

Urban Cowboy

Urban Cowboy

Dear Rob,

We read your GQ interview interview today and, on average, are 88% certain you have read our site (more to come on that theory later). As a result, we want to extend an offer to you to come stay with us in LA next weekend. Yes, we said US. I (UnintendedChoice) am flying from Philly to LA next Friday night to spend an entire 5 days with Moon. This is quite the miraculous event as it will be only the 2nd time we have seen each other in 6.5 years (We met in 2002 at a semester-away program and said 1 phrase to each other the entire 4 months we lived together- the phrase was “Wanna become real friends in 6 years and start a blog about a boy who is currently 15?”)

It is mere coincidence that we happen to be starting our weekend together the EVENING of the Midnight Release Parties for the Twilight DVD. But we will be taking full advantage of the fact. We’ve been busy planning our itinerary, and if you see any events of interest, remember- this is an open invitation and you are welcome to join!

Here is a quick preview of what we’ll be doing together:

  • Writing extremely smutty fan-fic, cause there’s nothing better than sitting with a close friend and sharing what gets you really hot.
  • Doing our best Nikki Reed & Kristen Stewart “faux lesbians” impressions wearing Doc Martens and skinny jeans, while hand-holding, skipping down Robertson Blvd, sharing a ciggie while the paps “just happen” to be following us
  • Attending a Border’s Midnight Release Party where will WIN all the contests they are holding while elbowing 14 year olds to get our copy of the DVD signed by the #2 gaffer and head plumber from the set
  • Watching the DVD over & over & over again, pausing on all the scenes where you look the hottest while spooning in Moon’s bed (UC’s making her famous popcorn)
  • Dressing UC’s husband and his best friend up like vampires and making them act out our fan fic while we give them direction like “act more vampire-y, MORE EDWARD! Show me UNDEAD!”
  • Acting out the Meadow Scene at Griffith Park (where they ACTUALLY shot part of the scene in the movie! We will find the spot of grass that you touched, Rob, WE WILL!)
  • Writing letters to ourselves (letterstoUCandMoon.com coming soon to a computer near you)
  • Watching all of your movies on YouTube (we both still havent’ seen The Haunted Airman) & all clips online EVER that mention you
  • Throwing a slumber party with Ashley Green and Rachelle
  • Video chatting with Clare Pattinson and discussing how you need to eat more
  • Plotting world domination one blog at a time!

We know you’re busy getting ready to shoot New Moon, but we wanted to extend an offer for you to visit during the time when we’ll be together. The house will be crowded- UC’s husband will be there and so will his bff, and the boys are taking the couches, but Moon has a big bed and there will be a spot for you in between us, if you’re interested. We do have one little request, if we could. Please be sure that when you come to LA, you’re looking as such:

roblyingdowngq2

We will focus on the movie with you looking like this in between us on Moon's bed. We will. We will not be thinking of all the bad things we want to do to you. We Promise.

Love,
Us

 

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Responses

  1. [...] like the Twilight DVD release and the thought of vampire cookies. Jump on over to LTR to check out the itinerary we have planned while we’re together. a To the rest of you: what are you doing the night of [...]

  2. “DVD signed by the #2 gaffer and head plumber from the set”
    ROTFLMAO!
    Have a fantastic time together! Take lots of photos, especially of the fake lesbo reinactions, LOL!

    @SpunkMe, welcome to LTR! I love your name!

  3. @moon/uc – you girls are so naughty, i like it.

    I hope he reads LTR! If not, mission to convert.

    • naughty!? no! what’s naughty? writing smutty fanfic and making the boys act it out? asking rob to share the spot we have on her bed? not naughty:)
      smart!

  4. Your letters always make me laugh! This one is one of the best. Thanks for brightening my AM!

    • oh you are welcome:) just wait until we’re together…. we will brighten your day THAT MUCH MORE for the 5 days we do it together:)

  5. “Dressing UC’s husband and his best friend up like vampires and making them act out our fan fic while we give them direction like “act more vampire-y, MORE EDWARD! Show me UNDEAD!” You both are too funny! I also think it’s great that this will be only the SECOND time you’ve seen each other! More proof that a wonderful, lasting friendship can be cultivated online!

    Have a great time and tell Rob we all said, “Hi!”

    • thanks, steph!we are so excited. we will tell Rob hi for yoU!
      XO

  6. Don’t forget to microwave a carrot! LOL!

    • haaaaa jena that made me LOL

    • hahaha… yes.. we will DEFINITELY micro a carrot!

  7. hahah..so funny..hope you guys have a really great week together and rob, take them up on their offer!! you won’t be sorry!

  8. Today, I made sure I put my coffee down before I read…good thing UC, I saved you from having to send another bill to Rob!

    I can’t wait to read about your adventures in LA!

  9. Friday the 13th

    Reasons to be sad:
    1. I will never meet Rob.
    2. If I did, I’m too old for him (sigh).
    3. I found a tear in my leather jacket.
    4. I had a MAJOR tire-check driving to work today.
    5. I looked everywhere yesterday in Denver, called around, and we are looking at a March 24 release date for the April GQ.
    6. My dog rolled in cat sh*t this morning and then jumped on my bed:(

    Reasons to be happy:
    1. This website
    2. You wonderful people
    3. Robert Pattinson’s face, lips, eyes, personality, acting ability, you name it, he’s got it:)

    • Oh this is so not your day, but yes, it helps to remember the reasons to be happy!
      Hang in there!

    • well, i’m glad we/rob can contribute to SOMETHING good for your day- and i hope it gets better! XO

    • Holy moly! Your day so far is the reason people believe all that superstitious stuff! I’m glad Rob (and LTR) can make it better!

  10. You can lure him into your room with a trail of micro-waveable novelties…

    (once more) Did anyone else notice that they’ve photo-shopped out some of Rob’s beauty marks? Particularly, the one which resides above his left eyebrow.

    My obsession has really reached a new plateau, hasn’t it?

    • Is that the scar he was referring to in the commentary? A friends bag strap hit him in the face.

    • Wow I’m impressed with your level of observation. Damn, I can’t usually get passed his banana nut muffin or his scruff…lol

      • LOL! I can’t get past his jaw porn to notice stuff above his eyebrows. :)

  11. I will be buying 2 GQs one to lick and one will go into a plastic protector thingy and into the indestructible safe, so that he will be protected for all eternity.

  12. I’m so excited for you both, especially since it’s been 6 years! WEEEE! How exciting!

    You’ll have to do all the Rob stuff while there. Hit In & Out, but don’t park in a prostitution ring car park! You could buy shiteous Nike’s together and microwave them and see what happens! Stock up on Hot Pockets and watch “One Flew Over the Coo Coo’s Nest”. Visit a random cafe on Doheny and order chicken vegetable soup and a coke. Go into Victoria Secret and start autographing the impossible to autograph shopping bags. Just don’t craw into any dog beds!

    • okay jena.. you are on ‘good idea’ patrol today.. i’m serious! i miss so many comments throughout the day and never get a chance to look at them all (shh don’t tell) and i don’t want to miss amazing things like this. so PLEASE make a list for us of these amazing real/fake ideas people come up with!

    • Love that you added the dog bed bit lmao!

  13. I’m on it. Will compile and email to you by the end of the day, LOL! No, really, I will!

    • i know you will.. i wouldn’t have asked you if i didn’t think you’d really do it!

  14. @UC and Moon – Hope you fabulous gals have a blast together! I am thinking there needs to be a code word or something that only us LTR girls know if Rob does happen to show up. Then we can run your house like a brothel for a few hours when we all arrive. Sound good?

    @cathie – good idea. I think a lickable copy is definitely needed. ;)

    @jena – way to remember the microwave!

    I should be packing right now. I have strep throat, I haven’t slept in 2 days (Wide Awake, anyone? LOL) and I am sitting here in a literal cold sweat knowing that I have to leave town in about 5 hours with my daughter for a dance competition. The only thing that is putting a smile on my face right now is this website. Even feeling as crappy as I do and the fact that I have a frantic few hours ahead of me, I will push on, knowing that you ladies will be here to make me laugh like a school girl! XOXO!

    • I hope you get to feeling better soon Kristin. Best of luck to your daughter during the competition!

    • Ugh…this sounds awful. I am so sorry Kristin, in the words of “Ferris Bueller”…”you get better pumpkin”.

    • we will come up with a code name!
      strep throat=hell :( sorry

      • thank you lovely ladies :)

      • code word: crispy, crusty, tender, flakey crust!

  15. just doing a drive by post. Slammed at work today.
    untagged heiney shot.
    http://tinyurl.com/ab4yea

    • Hot Damn!

      • Nnnoooo, it’s blocked at work!

        • On it! Check email :D

    • That’s a nice tush, but jeez, when was the last time he washed those jeans?! It looks like he sat in poo. I’m usually all for dirty Rob, but this is crossing the line, even for me. At least the tag from the last booty pic obscured the extent of the grunge.

  16. Yay for UC and Moon!!!we are so gonna get amazingly letters in the next five days!!and I know rob is so reading this site * waves to rob*! robert I hope you have learned to microwave popcorn by now so relax?stay in ur humongous trailer and be entertained by the fabulous women here!

  17. I’m up to 11 suggestions now, LOL! See what you’ve made me do, LOL!

  18. “We will find the spot of grass that you touched, Rob, WE WILL!”

    ROFL! I love it, UC & Moon. I hope you two have an absolute blast!

  19. I’m up to 15 and still going….
    1) First and foremost, microwave a carrot. Giggle uncontrollably in Roblike fashion when it explodes.

    2) Hit In & Out and eat it in a parking lot….in the car, but don’t park in a prostitution ring car park!

    3) Buy shiteous Nike’s together….for shits and giggles microwave them and see what happens!

    4) Stock up on Hot Pockets, make sure they’re sausage and pepperoni.

    5) Watch “One Flew Over the Coo Coo’s Nest” and practice your Jack Nicholson accent.

    6) Visit a random cafe on Doheny and order chicken vegetable soup and a coke.

    7) Go into Victoria Secret and start autographing the impossible to autograph shopping bags.

    8) Do not crawl into any dog beds, trust me when I say your significant other is NOT cheating on you!

    9) Cuddle in bed under a white and black checkered flannel hoodie….preferrably one that zips up.

    10) Go ring Camille Belle’s apartment buzzer.

    11) Stop and pet every dog that you walk past while calling it “Patty”.

    12) Go buy boxes and bubble wrap at a local Kinkos and pretend you’re being followed by the paparazzi.

    13) Go rent a silver Audi S4

    14) Don’t “litrally” shit your pants if there’s a conversation lull

    15) Only ingest a valium if you’re going to be home….better yet, microwave it.

    • ROFLMFAO

      • Jena I am crying from laughing so hard. Girl, you are too much. LOL :-)

    • Ahahahahah, microwave the valium! GENIUS!

    • Ahh man jena… those are Robmazing suggestions. Im super jealous of Moon and UC now.
      not that I wasn’t before… but that just sounds like a blast!

      did we remember to add Buying GQ mag to their list?

    • OMG “better yet, microwave it”

      BEST EVER

  20. Dont’ forget pictures we need pictures. And re-enactments of meadow scene…running down the street away from the paps all in black wearing shit kickers…

  21. 16) Play R Kelly’s “Bump N Grind” in your car….turn it up loud and roll the windows down when the part “I don’t seeeee nothing wrooong” comes up (if you haven’t listened to the commentary you have no clue what I’m talking about, LOL!)

  22. UC and moon, this post is just made of win. The whole damn thing was brilliant and funny and snarky and sexy at the sexy at the same time. I am sure I don’t have to tell you to have a good time… ;-)

    One thing though…um, could you possibly get some video of the dh’s dressing up and acting out the fanfic thing? I would really like to see that, mkay, thanks!

    • Oh, yeah! You definitely need to post that, or better yet make a picture montage!

  23. Hope you guys have a blast together…sounds like its going to be fun…:)
    @Jena…You’re a GENIUS!!!! LOL

  24. 17) Go lay down in a meadow and stare longingly into each other’s eyes.

    18) Throw a party at Il Sole with Katy Perry.

    19) Do not drive away until windshield has been defogged. Know where your “wiper thingie” button is.

    20) If you see a black ’89 BMW that looks like it’s been through hell and back, hug it. It had a lovely owner.

    • ROFLMAO at hugging the 89 BMW! That’s just brilliance there! Jena, you’re on a roll today!

  25. Thanks for making me laugh this morning. The day has not started well.

    You guys haven’t watched Haunted Airman…shame on you! BTW, that is one weird movie. The ending, um, well, I won’t ruin it for anyone.

    I’ve decided that I need to write a letter to those girls with the VS bag and explain to them how better to handle meeting Rob.

  26. @Carrie…thanks for the untagged heiney shot…although I must admit, I am having trouble getting by those long, lean legs.

    • Mmmmmmm, I hear that.

  27. 21) Drink a peach snapple.

    22) Introduce yourselves as Rob and Tom.

    • omg.. i saw this comment on my phone and read it so fast i thought it said “introduce yourselves TO rob and Tom’ .. but AS ROB AND TOM!? ingenious!

      • LOL!

  28. Love it!!

  29. @Jena…ooh, I thought of a good suggestion to add to your list…Go the whole week without bathing, washing your hair, or changing clothes. Embrace the Rob spirit!

  30. Can’t believe JAG hasn’t posted this yet! She wins the mankiss prize of the year for this one right here!

    http://robert-pattinson.ca/2009/03/12/robs-mankiss-in-slow-mo/

    • That’s hot! I don’t care if it’s man on man, that’s hot! Rob’s on the left right?

      • No, I think Rob is on the right.

    • I have to get back to my real job now. Wouldn’t want child services to come and take my wee kidlets away b/c of my obvious neglect (ROBLOVE). I love you all and think of you when I’m away from my PC.

    • I don’t care if it’s a man kiss either…seriously it looks like he can kiss contrary to our previous beliefs.

      Part 2 coming soon btw!

  31. 23) Rip a hole in the left leg of your jeans.

    24) Wear lots of hair gel and see who can stand their hair up the longest.

    25) Pack at least one “grandma sweater”…if it’s blue, even better!

    26) Find Alex Pappademas and overwhelm him with question after question about Rob. If he refuses to answer, pull out your Harry Potter wand and threaten him with a spell.

    27) Drive like a Cullen.

    28) Per Sass, go the whole week without bathing, washing your hair, or changing clothes. Embrace the Rob spirit!

    • @Jena- ‘you da bomb’ LMAO! I LOVE #24!
      #27 can get ya into serious trouble with the law!
      Your on fire today!

    • Love it! Why can’t I be that clever?

  32. UC and Moon LA is going to be the place to be next weekend. If I wear my skinny jeans and Docs can I be the Jacob in your lezzie sandwich??? Just kidding I don’t have skinny jeans….

    • hahahahaha THE JACOB IN YOUR LEZZIE SANWICH. god you girls are pure WIN today. amazing!

  33. I love you two, UC and Moon. This time I think I mean that in the real lesbian way. That’s how awesome I think you are.

    I can’t wait to hear all about your shananigans. I bet you will get to meet Rob at one of those surprise appearances for the dvd release. You deserve it!

    Jena – you rock my bobby socks too!

  34. Yay!!! I’ll be out in ‘ole San Diego this weekend, I’ll way to you guys from the air.

    LOVE those pictures.

  35. Okay- sis and kiddos are about to descend so I have to go pretend to be less crazy than I secretly am. Will pop in when I get a chance. Have a Robtastic Day.

    Jena, not sure if you saw it, but I emailed you the untagged booty shot.

    Have fun ladies!

    And lest it be forgotten, I bring you GQ Rob as a parting gift one more time:

    :D

    • Got it! SQUEE! Thanks, Ayden!

  36. I just found a bigger pic of the heiney.
    http://www.robertpattinsonsource.org/gallery/displayimage.php?pid=10293&fullsize=1

    • Does he not have the most yummy looking thighs evah?!

      • This pic helps with the fantasy of him wrapping his long legs around me as we make hot monkey love.

        • I’ve always loved his thighs they look so strong!

          • *THUD*

          • His thighs certainly look like they have endurance. Just sayin’.

    • *faints*

    • Oooo, “meka leka hi meka heiny ho!”

      • ha ha ha ha ha ha…

  37. I have to get to the gym now. I need to get these last few pounds off and tighten up my baby belly so Rob will be pleased when I shag him.

    Don’t want to look like Chunk doing the truffle shuffle while taking a pounding from The Rob.

    I can’t wait to see what ideas you ladies come up with when I get back.

    • “Don’t want to look like Chunk doing the truffle shuffle while taking a pounding from The Rob.”

      LMAO! I’m laughing out loud at my desk!

    • Robzilla I thought maybe you were trying to get fit for our hot date Saturday. WTF!!!

  38. @UC- LOVE the letter this Friday the 13th! Hope you guys have a Rob(sp)lendous time together! So funny! LOL!

    HQ pics from yesterday-
    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_sASGYLkBNCU/Sbpd7bv-4zI/AAAAAAAADgk/0P55-7bv9_w/s1600-h/robert-pattinson-gq-magazine-april-2009-04.jpg

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_sASGYLkBNCU/Sbpd7hSL1ZI/AAAAAAAADgs/y7w43paZimg/s1600-h/robert-pattinson-gq-magazine-april-2009-03.jpg

    • Does this ever get old…gazing at him! HELL NO!

      • Everytime I look those pics I get lost in eyes and can’t breathe. I might pass out if I keep looking.

        • DITTO

      • @JAG- No, no and NO! LOL!
        Jag- did you see that comment last night from Byrdie about the making of a Rob video (all smoking shots) or his laughing ones. Thought it was a good idea!

    • omg i love the cover shot…

    • Gen, this is the best Robcrotch ever! Thank you sooooo much (my quivering thighs thank you, too!)

  39. You should go find where K. Stew lives and try and find all her “roach” droppings and if Oregano is there ask him if he is the pool boy or does he do landscaping….

    • Or make a rain stick out of those droppings, LOL! (if nobody gets that, it’s from an extended bedroom scene)

  40. Carrie! my new hero. UNTAGGED heiney as God intended. mwah!

    The Letter is so inviting Ladies, if I were Rob I’d be on the first plane back down there. No worries about New Moon, he can act, I’m sure he has a few fake sick days up his sleeve.

    LOL to the carrot!

  41. @Jena- #14 (dying) LMFAO!

    • @Jena- brilliance personified! Just sayin’ <3 ya!

      • I <3 you for all the picture lovin’!

  42. Carrie, your mission…to find untagged shot of his banana nut muffin and not the one in the bag he was carrying….pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

    • Mission accepted. :-)

  43. Moon and UC this is tears running down your face funny, thanks for making me literally laugh out loud every day! (even if it makes me look like a crazy to my Not-Quite-Edward)

    *Vampire Hugs* (really cold, hard, impossibly fast, awkard hugs)

    • really!? it’s THAT funny!? haha.. i’m glad you think so:):):) who cares what ‘not-quite-edward’ thinks… we know you’re not crazy! vampires hugs back!!!! JENA- put that on the list.. we need to give everyone we meet VAMPIRE hugs!

      • FOR SERIOUS!!!!! We need to get you gals some of those awesome prizes you bestow upon others!!! How about a romantic candlelit microwave dinner w/ Rob?

        Picture this: Your in his London flat, it smells…musty, it’s ALMOST tidy but you get the feeling if you open any cupboards *things* will start popping out.Tomstu is the waiter (he’s wearing Rob’s D&G tux), Claire is microwaving the hell out of some frozen entrees and Lizzie is off in the corner, singing her European Techno hits.

        Let me know…we’ll make the arrangements!

  44. Additions to the UC and Moon Cali fun list:

    29. Get tickets to the Whiskey or the Roxy and
    pretend it’s Rob singing on stage.

    30. Find a local karaoke bar and sing ABBA songs.

    • Added! These are good!

  45. OK, work is getting insale. I’ll be back later but in the meantime I’m still adding to the list, LOL!

  46. Insale? LOL! I mean insane.

  47. @UC/Moon – 88%… soooo scientific! (said in the same sing-songy way as ‘soooo meaty’ just because I know you love Joel & The Soup) Also, when said ‘Rob Laiden Meadow Grass’ is found, make sure to cut some and put it in a Ziploc to keep forever. You may want to ask Kristen which bags (ie: Freezer, Sandwich, Snack or Storage) keep HER ‘grass’ staying fresher, longer.

    @Jena – You are killing me today lmao! Keep ‘em comin’!

  48. I can’t remember who posted the link to the fanfac Wide Awake, but whoever it was – thanks!

    I’m only at chapter 30 but I stayed up way too late last night reading it.

    • Look, see how sleep deprived I am? It’s fanfic not fanfac. Durh! I don’t think I’m going to be on here much today. Can’t multi-task with no sleep and work needs me to get sh*t done. Oh well. Have fun ladies!

    • Ceri, what’s the link dudette?

      • It’s Darkward! I really like that the only Twilight-y thing are their names. Everything else the author has changed, no vamps either. But she is really good, got me hooked right away. Darkward is so bad.

        http://angstgoddess003.livejournal.com/

        Scroll down and on the left she’s got the chapters posted.

  49. Hello, ladies! I’M BACK! I have risen from my sinus-induced coma.

    ONLY SEVEN MORE DAYS until I can see Rob on my big screen!!!! I’m so freaking excited.

    And I woke up to the best best BEST pictures, Rob in GQ and Vancouver pictures!

    I had a HOT HOT HOT dream last night about Rob in Vancouver. I’m thinking of documenting it for all the world to see.

    I love you all! I’ll be around.

    xoxo
    Carter

    • Welcome back carter! Are you feeling better?

      We missed you!

      • Awww Ayden! I feel so loved. I am feeling a smidge better. Not amazing, but I’m glad to be back at work… only because I am on LTR all day haha =)

  50. oh AND

    my BFF in twi-crime got a pocket edward!!! Hopefully we will go on some PE adventures soon


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