Posted by: UC | March 3, 2009

Thank you letter to Rob

Thank you for being a friend

Thank you for being a friend

Dear Rob,

Today’s letter is a simple one. It’s not filled with pictures for everyone to lust over with captions like “Bang me now” or “You’re just full of sex on fire.” No, no… this letter is more innocent. We spend so much time drooling over you and not enough time appreciating you for anything other than your looks. So today we’re writing just to Thank You.
a
Thank you for being a humble, charming guy in your interviews. Thank you for being so nice to fans and signing autographs and posing for pictures, even when you’re “off the clock.”

If the Devil wears Prada, then you're the FINEST Devil I know!

If the Devil wears Prada, then you're the FINEST Devil I know!

Thanks for hating Hollywood and the superficial nightlife that goes along with it and for being “real” and saying you’d rather be reading 2666 by Roberto Bolano than out partying with the girls from The Hills. On a slightly superficial note, thanks for keeping it real in ripped, dirty jeans and then being able to look so delectably delicious in Dolce & Gabana and Prada.

But most importantly, thank you for increasing the libido for the hundreds of woman visiting our site. The frequency and intensity of our sex lives has increased TENFOLD. (Oh, and the males in our lives thank you too- although most of them are patting themselves on the back thinking they are the cause for our screams of pleasure. They are unaware it has 100% to do with YOU)

Love,
UnintendedChoice

PS: Stop being humble, Robbie! I PROMISE you our sex lives have ROCKED since you came in the picture. Haven’t you ever spent any time reading the comments we get on your letters? The hormones are RAGING, and they’re being let out on someone (cuz as far as I know, none of the girls have met YOU yet- but just wait.. when they do… well, you’re gonna need to take a lot of naps, i’mjustsayin’) Now, as further proof for your sexual prowess, read this letter we received after the jump!

a

Dear Rob,

a
So I had this theory that if I stalked you online long enough, I’d get so tired of seeing you that my obsession would shatter into a million pieces and the cycle of Robbiness would be broken. Yeah, apparently it’s a theory for a reason; it totally bombed in practice.

a
I’m actually still in shock, to tell the truth. I figured if anyone would not appreciate my obsession; it would be my husband. Sadly, it turns out he’s not only an enabler… he’s totally plotting ways to keep the obsession alive!

We had a conversation about it in the car last night:

Me: So, I’m half in love with Rob Pattinson.
DH: Your stalking theory bombed, eh?
Me: *sighs* Yeah.
DH: Well… you did say you were only half in love, right? Maybe it worked a little? *sounds a little bummed about it*
Me: Actually, I was just trying to make you feel better. I’m totally in love.
DH: Hm. He’s still at the top of your list then?
Me: Definitely. Why?
DH: I was just thinking since we tried the stalking theory and that failed we could always try the cardboard cutout theory…
Me: Cardboard cutout theory? *blinking in confusion* I had a cardboard cutout theory?
DH: No, I had a cardboard cutout theory.
Me: Wha-Wait. You had a cardboard cutout theory?
DH: Indeed.
Me: Pray tell.
DH: It’s messy. And naughty. And definitely kinky.
Me: Mm, I’m liking it already.
DH: I thought you would. *grins* Think it’ll work?
Me: Probably not… I have a vivid imagination you know. It’ll probably make the obsession worse.
DH: *chuckles* I was kinda counting on that…
Me: Oh really? What do you get out of this?
DH: Are you kidding me?! That thing you did in the bedroom yesterday? You know what I mean… *clasps hands together and does the cheer thing* Thank you Robert!
Me: *blushes profusely at the reminder* You had to go there, didn’t you?
DH: Hey… you went there first, remember? *grins wickedly*
Me: *pointedly ignores that one* So you’re saying you’re actually liking my obsession with another man? That’s kinda weird you know..
DH: Not weird in the least! Just think about it a minute. We crammed a good months worth of sex into the last two days. If the trend continues…
ME: *half laughing, half choking* Baby!
DH: Hey, I’m just saying… I should probably write him a thank you note. Or three.
Me: Oh. My. God.
DH: *pats my hand* Don’t worry baby… I won’t share the details.

OMG!!!! I’m still trying to think of a good come back!

Needless to say Rob, I don’t think he’s going to be pushing for a 12 step program anytime soon. In fact, thank you cards mysteriously appeared on my shopping list today. Thank you cards, Rob, thank you cards!

I’m still trying to decide if I should be blushing or laughing hysterically…

Yours,
Ayden

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Responses

  1. Ayden, that is insane and totally fucked up, pun intended. i love the way you start so sheepishly:

    So, I’m half in love with Rob Pattinson.

    Dear Hubby is gonna be partying like it’s 1999 at midnight on the dvd release day!!

    xx

  2. There are so many ways I want to thank Rob… but I think a proper thank you should be made in person… and in private…

    • oh Spank, you are right- he really only deserves those private, in-person thank yous!

      • Can you imagine the thank you line we could form? Poor man would never walk again…. and I’m okay with that.

        • I happily volunteer to take one for the team to thank him in person…

          • me too! he’s my free pass! lol

  3. Oh I love this post. Yes Rob, I’m pretty sure my husband thanks you too!

    @Ayden, love your letter!!!

  4. @UC – what a great post! Thank YOU for thanking Rob, because he sure does deserve to be thanked in a sincere way. He’s so damn humble about his beauty and his fame that it makes him just beyond precious.

    And our husbands sure as hell do need to thank Rob! Goodness! They’re reaping the benefits of Rob! You should start a new blog called “Letters to Rob, the sexually satisfied husband edition”.

  5. Morning Ladies, Yes, husbands & boyfriends of the world should send him a big thank you!

    Great letter!

  6. Who is DH? What does it stand for?

    • dear husband

      • So thats what it was!!
        I had theories on DH. My first one was Dumb Husband (not say’in much for my opinion of my spouse lol) but then I thought maybe its Darling Husband? ( because her husband is rather cool about things) or maybe HE thought it was Darling Husband and she secretly meant Dumb Husband. Dear Husband seems like a nice way to put it though, however if I ever post DH I mean Dumb Husband.

        • @pishposh – guess I’m not that nice to my hubby either. I intend it as D**m Husband. LOL

    • i had no idea either, angie!

      • well until I Googled it I thought it was dead husband. I was like great plan 3′s a crowd. Thanks a frickin’ lot Google!

        And Thank you Robbie baby for being the sweetest, kindest, honest, humble, bangworthy(oops forgot we weren’t mentioning that) guy ever. Though he will never say it Mr.Love-Hewitt(MR. FMP) thanks you to. **Now get over here so I can thank you properly**

  7. Adding on my name to the end of this much deserved, and beautifully written, thank you note,

    Nat

    xoxo

  8. Good morning ladies!
    It is amazing how men will take it anyway they can get it. I don’t think my husband minds how I get horny just as long as it happens and he gets something outta it!
    I don’t understand the nature of the beast. I have never had such a addiction to anything before. I mean I love Joshua Jackson alot but not to the point that I need to read about him daily…just weekly :)
    Our Rob, well he’s just so de-rob-lectable that I can’t get enough. I mean really its getting out of control.
    I love this place so much, and all you for making me feel ok about what I am doing here. So with that I will go do laundry (only cuz his posters on the door) and then read fanfic.

  9. @Ayden — I LOVE IT!! My hubby is starting to have this same realization, and although we are not to the enabling part yet, we are getting closer every day!!

    @UC – Yes, we do drool over Rob quite a bit around here. I am so glad you coined a letter to let him (or his mom, cause you know she’s here somewhere) that it is beyond lust. Every time he acts embarrassed, or sheepish, or just can’t stop laughing cause of nerves (I do that too Rob), I fall in love with this man all over again!!

    • I think Robs mom might need therapy if she read what we write around here, I know I would if I read this stuff about my kid !

      • @pishposh — No, we determined that Rob’s mom would be amazingly cool with it all. I mean she danced on Ellen!! She would see the humor in it all and now we are only kidding (sort of…okay, not really).

        • LOL we are all kidding (denial), unless you pour a magnum of red wine down our throats and point us in his direction, then suddenly it be*cums* so serious!

  10. Dear UC – What a great letter. That is why you and Moon are godesses 0f this site. It certainly doesn’t hurt that Rob’s HOTNESS has us all lusting after him, but it was his humble charm that completely has me Robsessed. And Ayden, loved your letter too. My DH has noticed an increase in our sex life, but I don’t think he has it quite figured out yet, although he did let me watch Twilight in bed the other night. Hmm… Anyway, I have been thinking about this for the last couple of days, but now seems an appropriate time to ask. Would inviting cut-out Edward/Rob into the bedroom be considered a ‘menege a’ trois’ ? I’m just askin?

    • if you can get a picture of you, DH and cut out Rob in bed.. I will give you the BEST fake prize that has ever been given!

      • @UC – I’ll get to work on that tonight! LOL

  11. Good morning to my favorite currently over-sexed gals! That was a great letter, Ayden! Too funny! I’m too scared to admit my Rob-love to my DH. It’ll never happen. But I’m proud of you! You go!

    I’ll be out of town for the rest of the day. (Pooh!) I just had to see what tasty morsel UC and Moon had left for us this A.M. As usual, they did not disappoint! (As if it’s possible for ANYTHING Rob associated to be a disappointment….)

    OH and Vogue, if you read this, I started reading that submissive fanfic last night. I stayed up WAAAAAY too late reading that! It was a VERY BAD night for the hubby to be out of town. Very bad, indeed.

    • Ha! ha! Sorry Steph!! how you do you think I feel, my DH is gone for 4 months!!

      It’s all good, Rob and Edward are keeping me company and out of trouble :D

      I’ve got a few more awesome fanfics that I’ve found, and the newest is now my favorite !

      Have fun with the Edward smut! He’s such a bad boy!

  12. I can’t find the Edwards Eclipse fan fic, any help?

  13. @UC – :) I’ve been working on my own thank you letter, but that one will do just perfectly. I love it. Great great great job! (That’s 3 ‘great’s so it’s pretty awesome… I don’t just throw ‘great’s around like that…)

    Gotta run, I’m late for work. lol (because what am I doing? This.) But I have a link for you while I’m gone. The girls at Twilight Singapore added some new stuff about the fan dinner and some more pics.
    http://twilightsingapore.com/2009/03/03/twilight-coverage-in-tokyo-fan-pictures-in-tokyo-part-2-dinner-with-the-cast/

    Have a great day ladies, I’ll be checking in to try to keep up with comments, but I probably won’t be talking ;)

  14. @pishposh
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4476559/1/Edwards_Eclipse

    • Thanks! Hopefully this will make my day more appealing :)

    • :) I’m in the middle of reading that one, its awesome. Anyone know of any similar ones?

  15. @Ayden: fantastic, yet again!

    @Soccermom: thanks for the Submissive link. I haven’t done any work in the past three hours… This is getting out of hand…

    And for those who did not catch up on my other post in yesterday’s threads…Ladies, I confess I dreamt about talking to Rob last night.

    And before anyone can argue about Cream of Cullen…We just talked..for hours on end.

    I officially need help! *swoons*

  16. Ayden, LOL! That’s priceless! LMAO at the thank you cards!

    UC, thank you for that letter. I wholeheartedly agree and I hope that Hollywood never changes him. Not only is he gorgeous to oogle at, but he’s got the wit, the charm, the personality, the humor, that adorable laugh, the humbleness, the modesty, the talent and the appreciation, I don’t think he takes anything for granted and I just love his entire package. No pun intended.

  17. Thanks, I can’t remember the last time I giggled so much tee hee!

  18. @ jbell…. One of that lucky girls who posted her letter at d twilight Singapore site added me to her facebook,she was one of the six lucky ppl who joined rob/kstewpot/taylor for d dinner. I’m soo jealous,she (niña reyes) got to meet robbie in person! So I sent her a message asking her how rob smelled like and her response was that he smelled ok. LOL

  19. Ok so I have to admit that I was reading Fanfic before I ever stumbled on this site. I just couldn’t fill the void left when I was done rereading the series for the 7th time, and was afraid if I immediately started it again my DH would have me committed to some instutution. Although it is not steamy I really liked a few of them.

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4273193/2/Dark_Side_of_the_Moon

  20. @UC… Great letter!!! @ ayden… Ur nubby rocks!!!LOL

  21. OMG, Ayden, you’re letter is HI-larious!! I think my hubby has the same appreciation… ;)

  22. Good Morning Ladies.
    Awesome Letter UC. You have def. captured all the things I love about Rob in your letter.

    My boss is in the office so can’t post much now.
    I am going to post some of my pics from night out with Pocket Edward later.
    Stay tuned. :-)

    @Ayden- I am cracking up reading your letter. My boss thinks I am total nut job b/c I am laughing so hard. Thanks for the letter. It made my day. Also gives me hope when I get married one day I can share my love for Rob with my DH and he’ll be cool with it. ;-)

    @soccermom “Would inviting cut-out Edward/Rob into the bedroom be considered a ‘menege a’ trois’ ? I’m just askin?”
    I just spit my drink all over my desk reading that. LOL!!!!! I love where your mind goes. ;

  23. Great letters UC and Ayden!

    If Rob only knew the half of it, lol.

  24. Oh my goodness, I was just looking at AMC’s lineup in Omaha and Twilight is still in the theater with 2 showings. I was not aware of this. I may have to go once more before picking up the dvd.

    • @Jena – IfOnly and I can’t stop going to the theater to see it either. It is still playing where she lives. We are always plotting to get away from our DH. They don’t mind our Robsession – just the amount of money we have spent watching it 12 times now (I think?). We tell them we are doing our part to stimulate the economy! Nothing can compare to seeing all that glorious Rob on the big screen.

    • AH! hahaha! That is where I was….go while you can! Its done on Sunday!!!

    • Hehe I’ve already gone to oru dollar theater twice. I drive past it several times a day, its too tempting not to stop…

      • I havn’t actually seen another movie as long as Twilight was in theaters. Would go planning to see something else, but then Edward’s golden eyes would beckon me.

        • Heh, I saw more movies over the holidays than I had in years! Me and my ex kinda got back together while he was home for the holidays and made the deal that if Twilight was starting/had recently started after whatever movie we had gone to see, he would sneak in with me after our other movie. Sooo of course, I planned all our movies around the late night twilight show times haha!

  25. Good Morning Ladies!

    So I’ve been on my deathbed for the past three days and am trying to catch up on all the comments.

    @Ayden – Your letter was a breath of fresh air for me. The hubby is definitely a keeper! Mine is still casting me strange looks when I talk about my boyfriend Rob. I haven’t quite gotten the robsession out there yet. Its just our little secret.

    @UC – Love the thank you letter. As much as Rob makes the LTR ladies horny with all these hot appearances, its nice to recount the other ways that he is a fantastic guy. I’ll admit that I thought he was hot in Twilight, but it wasn’t until I saw some of his interviews that the robsession started. His adorkableness and charisma are unparalleled.

  26. Ceri, hope you’re feeling better!

  27. @Jena…no!! Don’t go see it!!! Save yourself until the honeymoon!!!!

    • LMAO! I don’t know…Rob really big on the screen….I mean….really big.
      I don’t think I can wait! I mean….it’s big. Heh.

  28. That’s the BEST fan letter I’ve ever read, Ayden! Your DH and Mr. Lu need to have beers some night. Mr. Lu is trying, but still isn’t handling the obsession very well.

    When I jokingly wondered if RP would make the Twi-Midnight DVD release party I’m attending with our daughter, he threatened to come with us! Like I’d betray him with our daughter there!….Well, ok, he has a point. I probably would…

    And Ceri – I love your word, “Adorkableness” – that’s *exactly* the sentiment I was reaching for when I watched his interviews for the first time. He is SUCH a dork, but oh so adorable, too.

  29. @Jena – thanks for the well wishes, you are such a sweetheart – stupid cold!

    @tallulah – I think most of us are dorks even the celebrities, but they hide it well, or at least show that they are aloof and standoffish. With Rob it just seems like he doesn’t know how to be anyone other than himself (character roles aside). He is probably the only celebrity who seems so real in everything that he does. If he’s not, then he really is the greatest actor of all time cause he’s got me fooled (and everyone here at LTR).

  30. I am impressed with Ayden’s husband. Tedward would sooo not be down with that. I think it is because he is jealous of Rob. That has to be the only reason why he calls Rob “hideous.”

    I know…blasphemous. I have already done 15 hail Mary’s for even typing that.

    • Mine doesn’t think that Rob is anything special either, but he is willing to accept any sexual gratification that the “not so special guy” (his words not mine) will provide him.
      Maybe I’ll moan Rob and see how thats goes over? hee hee hee

      • @pishposh – OMG! I worried that was gonna happen the other night! LOL

  31. Wonderfully written prose there UC. I do tend to obsess about all things sexual on here but that’s just because I haven’t been able to have a conversation with him – yet. You did a terrific job speaking for all of your LTR followers. So a big thanks to you, UC (and Moon).

    @Ayden – Your man has won the Hubby of the Year Award!!!!! That’s so awesome that he respects The Rob.

    I wish mine did. Anytime he see’s me looking at something Twilight or Rob related, which it is rare that I let him catch me, he just says; “Oh are you looking at Sugar Britches again?”

    Yes I am, honey, yes I am.

    @Ceri – I hope you feel better soon!

  32. Wow! It seems that so many hubby’s are accepting. Perhaps they should the last paragraph of UC’s letter, because it is true. SO VERY, VERY TRUE!!!

    I mean, Rob may very soon be responsible for a preggo Ayden. That is just amazing!!

  33. Okay, once again, you’ve hit The Mark for Truth in Journalism. Brilliant.

    DH turned to me on Saturday night, “Do you want to go see Twilight again?”

    He didn’t even have to finish the sentence. Thank God for $3 movie theaters that have love seats instead of theater seating. Popcorn. Rob/Edward. Snuggles. Mhmmm.

    Yes, most DHs are No Fools, my friends. Even dumb boys Get It.
    Not to mention

  34. @robzilla- Sugar britches?! ROFL!

    I’m thinking I should get him a Hubby of the Year Award for sure. He’s been more than awesome about the Robsession. Definitely an enabler!

    @Amber- If Ayden ends up preggers, we may have to name the kiddo after Rob lol.

  35. @Amber – So true! A baby all due to Robert Pattinson. Imagine the stories Ayden could tell that kid later in life. “Well, you know the actor Rob Pattinson? Mommy had a little crush on him…” LMAO

  36. Ayden: You should get him a plaque or something. Let it state the he is the honorary Greatest Husband of all the LTR ladies.

  37. @robzilla- Not a bad idea. Our 5th ani is Friday… he’d probably get a kick out of an award like that lol!

  38. Dear Rob,
    I’m adding my thank you for ALL those interviews that allowed us to see so many parts of you. I appreciate your humor and love the way you laugh! So charming. Thank you for your music–it makes me all melty inside and I’m waiting for that CD you’re going to make someday….

    xoxo
    me

  39. @Ayden — Awww…little Robbie Thomas. TOO CUTE!!

    Please, though, if its a girl, no Roberta’s! Or Kristen’s! (Sorry if that is anyone’s real name.)

  40. …just popping in; been following the conversations all morning. :]

    @Ayden & Amber – I can’t think of any good female versions of Rob’s name! I kept thinking Roberta and thought to myself, “That’s just does not do justice to Rob’s name.” lol

  41. @UC – Beautifully written. His wit and charm are the reason why I fell in love with him. They parallel his looks and I just don’t think it gets any better than that. *swoon*

    @Ayden – LOVE IT! Your hubby is being so awesome about this! Mine isn’t quite sure what to think because I have NEVER ever done or felt this way. In fact he totally does not know the extent of it all…but he is getting some extra loving at St. Mattress.

    @Amber – Kristin is my name but of course I don’t spell it with an E-N. That is just wrong. :) If you like the name, just spell it right. heehee! :)

  42. For a girl…..Edwartha? No, that’s hideous, LOL!
    Cullena, Pattisonia….no that sounds like a museum. LOL!
    Robin? There’s at least the Rob in there.
    Boy….Robtom….no, that sounds like a cookie, like TimTam.

  43. Whew – just finished paying stupid bills online and rewarded myself with my favorite Rob vid. I have to coax myself thru the day like this otherwise NOTHING else would get done besides Rob/LTR!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=In4hx0mpI54

  44. We interrupt this program to note that the LTR site is effed right now. i have no idea why. if anyone has any suggestions or fixes- email me pronto! letterstotwilight@gmail.com (it’s only if you go directly http://letterstorob.com) WEIRD

    perhaps Rob is on, reading all our posts and all the comments and stealing all our bandwidth

  45. Ladies, my husbands middle name is Thomas and up until about a month ago I didn’t really like it if we ever had a boy. Now, I am seriously considering Thomas for a middle name when we get prego again….why? Do you have to ask? Because some day I want to tell my son the story of how I was secretly in love with a movie star and his father thought it was because it was his name sake. Don’t you think that is a great way to jump of the years of therapy the kid would need?

  46. I just went directly in another window and it’s fine. Or am I missing something?

  47. @Kristin – I misspelled it…I meant with the -en. I don’t hate the name (got a cousin named Kristyn), just annoyed at the person associated with that name (KStew)

    • oh totally….all KristEN is only bad because of Sourpuss. I totally know what you meant, I didn’t phrase my comment the right way, I just meant that if you DO want to name your kid Kristin, spell it WITHOUT the -en!!! That would make it okay! LOL!

      • I just wanted to make sure I didn’t offend you. I want LTR to be a place where we spread love, not hate (unless its for KStew, JoBros trying to be on soundtrack, etc). LOL!

        • Its all good sister, takes A LOT to offend me. Its all LOVE and ROBCROTCH here :) LOL!

  48. what a great post! he does deserve formal thank you notes. that would be hilarious!

  49. @UC -are you serious? Cause mine is working fine too.

  50. “…black velvet and that little boys smile. Black velvet with that slow southern style. A new religion that’ll bring ya to your knees… black velvet if you please.”

    lmao. Pretty much every song that catches my attention in this office reminds me of someone… wonder who that could be??


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