Unless you live in a silver Volvo parked deep in the woods of Forks, WA, we guess you’ve seen or heard that Rob was spotted twice this past weekend. We received letters from Mrs. P and thefutureMrs.P on the same day about this latest piece of news. That seemed like a coincidence, so we decided to throw the letters up here for your enjoyment. Xo
So glad that you’ve finally made it out of hiding. I can’t believe how long it’s been (actually it’s been 6weeks 5days 12hours and 15minutes if you want to be precise). I’ve gotta say, you had me scared. There have been so many rumors swirling around about you being with some skank pretty brunette or of being in Brazil, or Mexico, New York or Vancouver. I can’t keep up with all the craziness!! It’s so good to be able to finally put all the rumors to rest (except for the brunette…come on you can tell me…I can keep a secret…).
I’m happy knowing that you are still at home resting up, relaxing and mentally preparing for New Moon which starts shooting in a few weeks (You are preparing right? because you will be working beside a depressed sourpuss, and we know that is totally her bag!) Looks like your hair will be back to “Edwardian Perfection” in time, so no worries there!
Anywho, I just wanted to write, and say it’s SOOOOO good to see you .
(you have no idea!!)
Mrs. P. (as if you didn’t know)
Today I started going through the oodles of Google alerts I had and thank heavens! It was a relief to find out you spent the night in London being chased by prostitutes fans. (Hey- the look on your face says you were thinking the same thing!)
Mrs. P is back and raggin’ on Rob’s friends after the jump
I know you and your boys have been bestest buds for like forevers and all, so I’m gonna say this now, and then hopefully I won’t have to mention it again. I would tell them myself, but I feel like they might be more receptive if it’s coming from you.
First, tell your boy Tom that plaid button downs are cool for hanging out in the basement playing X-Box and smoking out, but not for fancy dinner parties (even when worn with a suit jacket and only half- buttoned).
Then, let your boy Andy know that suspenders are not EVER cool on guys, and crazy cowgirl shirts should be reserved for remakes of cheesy Spaghetti Westerns. I won’t even start with the shoes.
I mean really? Suspenders? To a VOGUE dinner? PSHAW!! Shame on you for letting them out of the house like that!!—I say all this in love—
Mrs. P.(as if you didn’t know)
Rob, I’ll let you wear whatever you want if you take me out for valentine’s day. I won’t even talk about the Twi-alentine’s Day Contest we’re having here on the site. Promise.