Posted by: UC | January 9, 2009

Stuff my husband says about Rob

Introducing our new series: “Stuff my husband says about Rob.” Mostly because, well, they just don’t get it, do they?

Dear Rob,

After explaining my very hilarious post about Rob and Sam Bradley to him, Mr. Choice (who is my husband, of course) asked who Sam was. I answered “Rob’s best friend.” He responded:

I thought Krum was his best friend?

OMG. I momentarily forget my obsessi, er love for you and laughed so hard at his cute, sweet face.

rob-and-krum-bffsIn his defense, we had just watched The Goblet of Fire so it wasn’t so random that he made that connection!

He wants me to specify that I found this picture online and did not create it myself.  I think he’s worried that I come across as too obsessed with you (shh, it’s our secret just how deep my love runs. What’s that? Oh yes, how deep OUR love runs, sorry sweetie)

Love,
me (UnintendedChoice) xo

What funny things have your husbands/boyfriends/lesbian lovers had to say about Rob? (by the way, I don’t know if we have a lesbian Rob fan yet.. so if you’d like to be our first…) Comment below or e-mail us and maybe you’ll be featured in a future post! 

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Responses

  1. After I finally got my husband to go see Twilight with me he was actually pretty nice about the whole thing, he said it didn’t suck that much. So I was happy. He commented that he liked the P-coat and that Edward had cool hair. So, the next day right after hubby has just come home from getting a haircut my 6 year old says to him, “Daddy your hair looks like Edwards” (It doesn’t really) to which he replies, “If I had Edward’s hair I could rule the world”. I thought that was pretty funny!

  2. Me: Old Man, Twilight has changed my life and you will no longer understand me at all unless you read it.

    Old Man Bobby: But it has vampires.

    Me: I know! That’s the best part.

    Old Man Bobby: Are there vampire slayers?

    Me: No, but there are werewolves.

    Old Man Bobby: But I thought you wanted me to read Harry Potter.

    Me: Well, I still do, but read this first. I’m really excited about it right now!

    Old Man Bobby: (sighing) But it has vampires.

    We’ve had this conversation more than a few times. He’s old. He forgets. :)

  3. Yeah, he’s a good guy to have around even if he can’t make himself read Twilight. We were out to dinner with our friend Mike last night. His wife has read the books and liked them, much to Mike’s surprise. He said that if Old Man Bobby reads them it means he has a mangina. I’m thinking OMB isn’t going to cave any time soon. Not only will he likely lose his Man Card, but I think he’s also too chicken to check out his competition.

  4. OMB doesn’t really say anything about Rob. He knows to keep his mouth shut. My friend Random is another matter. I chatter away about my New Moon nervousness when we have down time at work, and Random teases me about The Brow, as he calls Rob. He’s oddly fixated on Rob’s brows, or monobrow as he keeps pointing out to me. Personally I like the brows. I like an interesting face, and they certainly make his face interesting. Anyway, I’m pretty sure Random is developing a man crush on Rob.

  5. My dh came home from work late one evening to find me watching The Ring of the Nibelungs. Conveniently it was during a scene with Rob in it. He said, “Hey, isn’t that your boyfriend?” I said, “Why yes, yes it is…now can you go in the other room and leave us alone?” So he did…and Rob and I spent a wonderful evening together.

  6. @Sass….

    That’s Awesome!! How did you make it through that movie…The HAIR!!

  7. Honestly, if you just concentrate on his eyes and his mouth, the hair doesn’t seem like that big a deal! Hee!

  8. Got it…look at his eyes…look at his eyes…look at his eyes…look at his eyes…look at his eyes…look at his eyes…look at his eyes…look at his eyes… NOT AT HIS HAIR….THE EYES!!(oh and the lips…mmmmmm)

  9. ok since i dont have a hubster i am still wild and single i guess ill have to substitute in my mom or dude-friends cause they are all quite funny about twilight.

  10. My friend Snooker, who is part of my coven, recently said, “Maybe we need to hold an intervention.” He’d spotted me simultaneously reading a Twilight edition of a magazine while tag surfing my blog for Twilight stuff earlier in the day. I told him it would do no good. I wasn’t ready for rehab yet, and that I had not hit rock bottom. I couldn’t even tell him, “I can quit any time I want.”

  11. @christapie
    Don’t worry they say that the first sign of an addiction is denial. I don’t think any of us are denying that we love us some Rob. So, as I see it, there is no problem!

  12. ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB!
    PROBLEM……………….WHAT PROBLEM!!??
    ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB!

  13. My boyfriend was kind enough to see Twilight with me. He did make fun of it all the way through (I didn’t care, it was my 3rd viewing anyway). But now he calls Rob a “pantywaist” and will say things like “Yeah, that guy at the pharmacy was such a pantywaist, like your boyfriend Robert Pattinson”.

    Note: he insults him and calls him my boyfriend at the same time. He just likes to tease me.

    But on the other hand, my boyfriend has started suspiciously dressing more like Edward Cullen, so even though the teasing continues, he also indulges my obsession. What a good boy!

    • @slotwink,
      i’ll be honest.. i don’t know what a pantywaist is… i’m gonna google it right now. it seems like a word i need to use more :)

  14. @slotwink, sounds like a keeper!

    My husband already has the hair and the pea coat, now If I could only get him to trade in his VW for a Volvo I may not have to get that deformed Edward Doll!

  15. @unintendedchoice
    I try to use the word pantywaist at least once a day. It is really one of the most underused/underappreciated insult word.

  16. How weird is this….I’m watching The Mentalist on tv tonight,b/c Simon Baker is HOT like Rpattz is gonna be in about 20 years, and lo and behold I hear the word…wait for it…pantywaist! On prime time TV, pantywaist, can you believe it? Slotwink I think your bf is on to something. Okay I am going back to unpause my Tivo and continue to drool over SB b/c freakin’ Rpattz is still in London…ARRGGHHH!

  17. Today Random was tormenting me by looking through pictures of Rob online. He likes to see me get all squirrely and distracted at work, I think. Anyway he’s obsessed with Rob’s brows.

    Random: Look, the Brow follows you wherever you go.

    Me: Oh shut up.

  18. @UIC
    I almost died of laughter over the ‘Krum’ comment! I’m still laughing!
    BTW Rob is beautiful! There are almost no words to describe him! I’m totally into the Twilight series.
    Keep up the good work!

  19. So, OMB took me to see Twilight again tonight. It was his 4th time, bless his heart (my 7th time). I’m a big enough bitch to tease him about secretly having a crush on Rob, and siting that as the reason for taking me to see Twilight so many times. He denied it of course. So, thinking of another conversation either on LTR or LTT, I decided to tell him that Rob doesn’t like to be called Bob and that we’d all vowed never to call Rob Bob, but that I admitted that I might slip and call Old Man Bobby Rob…you know, during the throes. Just trying to get a rise out of him. He got me though. He laughed and didn’t say anything, so I knew something was up. He had that sparkle in his eye. I knew I was about to blush pretty badly. Sure enough. He said, “I wouldn’t mind if you called me Rob. It is my name after all. But…I’m not worried. It’s not like you could form an intelligible word during your throes.”

  20. Dang…score one for OMB!

  21. OK. I’m totally rob-sessed! So what does my husband say? I’m going through a mid-life crisis. Hmm, it’s possible. Oh well, ya gotta have a hobby right?

    • Amen…Sister

  22. All you guys are freakin’ hilarious! :D Love, love, love the comments!

  23. haha i love everyones comments… so i have found twilight on tape and wanted the hubby to listen to it. um that was a no go…but i convinced him to watch the movie. the only things that entertained him were cars, baseball scene and Alice. so he said why don’t you go get your hair cut like hers… which i had been planning on anyways….so i go get it cut… the following convo insues…

    Me: babe… why don’t u go get your hair done like Robs…
    James: who the hell is rob?
    Me:OME babe are you kidding me… he’s edward in twilight. god babe… seriously?
    James: if i ever get my hair cut like him or dress like him… cut my penis off and give it to the village people.
    Me: WTF?!?!?!?!

    so needless to say… he still refuses to get his haircut like Robs.. :(

  24. This is site is hilarious. I won a contest to go and meet Rob in LA and go to the Twilight premiere. I actually drug my husband across the country to meet Rob and see a movie that he had no desire to see. After seeing the movie, he admitted that it was alot better than he thought it was going to be and he has now started reading the books, although not as fast as I would like him to.

    • @heather – HELLO new best friend! you MET ROB? Omg! do you have pictures of this blessed event? e-mail us and share!!!! (ps.. glad you’re reading/laughing with & at us! we’d love you even if you didn’t meet rob.. but love you that much more because you did!) xo

  25. Mr. Tallulah didn’t say anything funny to me about Rob, I just always get The Look when I mention his name.

    But he did say something somewhat embarrassing, if I were a self respecting woman, to a friend when we were discussing Twi the movie:

    Mr. Lu “Yeah, we were in the theatre when Edward walks into the cafeteria and Tallulah nearly slid out of her seat – I thought she was passing out.

    She then puts my arm in a death grip and shouts out to the entire theatre, “OH MY GOD…HE IS EFFING GORGEOUS!”

    I have no shame. My poor husband has already had to live with Joaquin Phoenix’s poster in my closet for three years…and he knows Robs will be going up at any moment. I suppose there will be Playboy rewards for Mr. Lu in heaven someday for putting up with my crap.

    • Tallulah- are you still hiding the Joaquin Phoenix poster in the closet? even after all the crap that’s been surrounding him!? I love that you’re reading the older posts- we have some good stuff hidden in the archives!

      • OF COURSE I’m still hiding the JP poster in my closet…what do you think of me? JP has lost his damn mind, but he was fine as hell a few years back (and in my poster). I have no doubt that he will return to fineness at any moment….

        Mr. Lu said this weekend, when I was filling him in on all your nutty antics on this site, that I could just do a flip poster style. Staple Robbie’s on top of Joaquin’s, and flip it up whenever I missed Kitten.

        Anyway, about Mr. Lu’s reaction to your site: he said, “I guess I need to be more supportive of your crush….” while shuffling his feet and looking all sheepish. Realizing that I’m not the only lunatic my age that has this weird lust for Robbie.

        Thanks for that!

  26. I got my 7th grade teacher (who’s a guy) to read the Twilight saga he said he wanted more fighting! I also show him pix of Rob all the time and he called him gay so I told him madly that Rob Is NOT gay and hesaid your right… He’s SUPER gay then asked me who his current male lover was and to that I was mad and told him I hate him. But who listens to a man who wears holy shirts and has said that he wears lesbian shoes (no offense)!

  27. I made the mistake of letting my husband go with me to see Twilight. He said “This is just like 90210 with Vampires, Edward Cullen is Dylan Mckay” and then about 3/4 of the way through he told me he was just going to bite himself to get it over with. I had to go see it again so I could enjoy it without his snarky comments. . . . 5 more times. My name is Briar Rose, and I am a Robaholic. . . . . . .

  28. wow, you guys r amazing. I’m 30th unmarried but i could imagine all your husbands reaction. esp xlaceydaniellex husband .Hilarious. I’m a robsesser my self. And I think Rob is sent to make us all happy and alive. I’m in pretty badshape now. Just lost my dear father.

  29. I’m at secondary school and some of the girls were saying (to tease the boys) “OMG the new guy, Edward Cullen is so hot!”. The boys believed them, I think some still do, and started going “yeah, but I bet he’s gay”. They were so insecure. they also think he’s an *idiot* (insert uncomplimentary word of choice here) for driving a Volvo.

  30. um, hello, i would be your first lesbian rob fan. hes so pretty i cant help but swoon. sigh, i think i scare people. also Jackson, Peter, and Taylor are very pretty men.

    • no way! our first lesbian fan!? SWEET!!!!!!!

      • No one is immune to the HAWTNESS that is Rob….no one!

  31. […] a young married gal (not to a unicorn but to a guy who says stuff about rob) who runs a blog where unicorns like to lurk, I feel I am appropriate skilled in the art of making […]

  32. luv the letters and all the comments… yet again laughing hysterically..
    I have pics everywhere of Rob of course and my hubby always has to make at least one comment a day about his hair.. my obsession..should he be worried if he finds white tank tops in the washing machine (yes he should)…etc..

  33. LOL! I ADORE this site! My husband rented Twilight for me a couple of months ago and hasn’t known what to make of the whole Twilight / RPattz infatuation since. I sent him the link for the Twlight Widowers Anonymous and he’s finally catching on.
    His first comment – “He’s no Brad Pitt, but at least he looks a little like me.” Yep, honey – sure he does *wink wink*

  34. […] dragging his ass all over town, trying to find you, that he won’t notice if suddenly “Cedric“ is no longer on the screen but snuggling up next to […]

  35. MY HUSBAND…BLESS HIS HEART PUTS UP WITH MY TWILIGHT AND NOW NEW MOON OBSESSION QUITE WELL. HE SPENT AN INSANELY AMOUNT OF MONEY ON E-BAY FOR MY BIRTHDAY ON TWILIGHT MEMORABILIA. HE GOT A NICE SUPRISE THAT NIGHT. HE HE. ANY WAY. WHEN HE COMES HOME FROM WORK AND ME AND MY FRIENDS ARE TALKING ABOUT TWILIGHT OR ROB, WHICH WE USUALLY ARE HE ROLLS HIS EYES AND SAYS I’LL BE IN THE T.V ROOM PLAYING A KILLING GAME. THEN SMILES AT ME. HE DOESN’T GET IT AND I CAN’T EXPLAIN IT TOO HIM.

  36. […] it ever get old? I’ll still laugh hysterically when I think of the first thing my husband ever said about Rob After explaining to him that Sam Bradley was a good friend of Robs, he said, in all seriousness, […]

  37. well my friend who is a guy says that rob’s face is so perfect it must have been measured with a ruler? myself i dont care much about the measuring part hes just unbelievably hot!

  38. My husband says, “Yer inlove with that guy, Robert Patterson”<—LOL, he NEVER remembers, or pretends not to remember Rob's last name.
    Of course I say "No I'm not, I just think he's beautiful" Then He says "yes you are, you'd marry HIM if you got the chance" I still lie and so 'no,no,no' ;o)
    But the worst thing my husband says is that Rob's "nose looks like he got hit in the face with a frying pan"…can you BELIEVE that?!
    Of course I turn completely defensive and then he says "yeah, yer in love with that guy, that's why you can't see anything wrong with him."
    WHATEvverrr…

  39. My fiance always calls Rob my boyfriend, and i have never disagree wiht him. He also thinks that Rob is good looking. If i asked him, does he finds him attractive, he said -yes. I don’t know is he gay or bi, i hope not. I wish he could love him as much as i do, and we could all live happily together.

  40. My husband says lots of funny things. I truly believe he hates Rob, and I suppose I have given him reason! He once said that his jaw line is too square, thus making him look like a lego character. And what else… well he says he is ugly (!) And he is sick of having a poster with a guy on it in our room (it’s a Twilight poster!). So those are a few things that my husband says about Rob…

  41. […] my rehab bill to you.Will it ever get old? I’ll still laugh hysterically when I think of the first thing my husband ever said about Rob After explaining to him that Sam Bradley was a good friend of Robs, he said, in all seriousness, […]


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